Earlier this week, dear blog reader, a brief - fifty three second - clip from yer actual Jodie Whittaker's first Doctor Who episode, featuring Jodie her very self, Tosin Gill and Mandip Gill, got well and truly leaked online. And, it was subsequently viewed by many, many, many punters. If you haven't seen it, don't worry it was not that unmissable (he totally lied). And, whilst this blogger has absolutely no intention of telling dear blog readers how they can access it should they wish to so so, one is sure that a simple Google search will probably point you in - roughly - the right direction if you would like to search it out for a quick gander. On the other hand, if you have already seen it ... how bloody exciting was that, eh?! Didn't Jodie absolutely nail it?! Isn't 'half-a-hour ago, I was a white-haired Scotsman?' a brilliant line? (All this is, obviously, utterly meaningless to any dear blog readers who haven't seen the clip in question. Sorry about that.) Of course, leaks of information and materials do occur more frequently that ever these days - they happened, to various degrees, under both Big Rusty and The Lord Thy God Steven (OBE)'s tenures as well and, it looks like Chris Chibnall is now discovering just how hard decent plumbers are to come by. This is the Interweb age, dear blog reader and people will, perhaps inevitably, crave what they cannot get. Until they do get access to it, at which point they will feel the need to share it. With everyone. That's a genie which, for better or worse, isn't going back into the bottle any time soon. So, there's a fifty three second clip of a Doctor Who episode that you haven't seen yet doing the rounds; seek it out and watch it if you want to or avoid it like the plague if you don't. This blogger makes no judgement upon anyone for doing either.
Meanwhile, this blogger has been thinking a lot this week about the subject of 'spoilers' - due, mainly, to all this previously mentioned malarkey. Personally Keith Telly Topping has never been too bothered one way or another about the whole spoilers thing although one year - this blogger thinks it was Smudger's last series in 2012 - just as an experiment Keith Telly Topping decided to see to how long before the first episode he could go 'unspoiled' as it were. In the end, this blogger more-or-less made it through to the week of Asylum Of The Daleks before he knew very much about it (and the subsequent episodes), a few stray bits of casting and a handful of episode titles apart. In the end, Keith Telly Topping doesn't believe his enjoyment of those episodes was any greater - or any lesser - than it would have been if he'd read the scripts beforehand or, indeed, been on-set during filming. However, during that period a close fiend of this blogger did say something which has stuck in Keith Telly Topping's mind ever since on the subject of spoilerisationisms. 'Back in the 1980s,' my mate Ian noted, 'we - that is fandom - would break our sodding necks to find out any trivial sliver of information we could about the upcoming series. Nobody back then in the pre-Internet fanzine-only days was running around with their hands covering their eyes and ears shouting 'no spoilers!"' This blogger has noticed that some people really do take their wish to avoid 'spoilers' to ludicrous extremes - to the point where the definition of what does and does not constitute a spoiler is something of a fluid debatable issue. For instance, this blogger has heard some people whinge about the content of official BBC-released trailers pre-series classifying those as 'spoilers'. Which, they are not. Keith Telly Topping has even seen some complaints about the revelation of episode titles being 'spoilers' (which, unless they include the word 'Dalek' in them, they're almost certainly not, either). So, this year, as usual, Keith Telly Topping shall be spending the time between now and the third week of October (or, whenever) minding his own business but, inevitably, coming across a few scraps of Doctor Who-related information along the way which he will be sharing with you, dear blog readers. Like, for instance, the already public fact that Alan Cumming is appearing in one episode. Which, to be fair, we only know because Alan Cumming himself was all excited and couldn't keep his trap shut about it! This blogger will try, wherever possible, to highlight any bloggerisationisms containing specific spoilers but, if you really are of the 'I don't want to know anything' brigade, then it might be an idea to avoid From The North between now and whenever the first episode of series eleven is broadcast. Here endeth the spoilerisationisms. For now.
Except to say that, also leaked this week - not, necessarily, by the same leaking-leakers that had leaked the fifty three second clip - are a couple of somewhat blurry photos of Jodie with her sonic screwdriver. This being one of them. Always wear your goggles when trying out a new sonic screwdriver for the first time, dear blog reader. It's The Law.
A new composer will provide 'an exciting and emotional' score for the upcoming series of Doctor Who, including 'a fresh take' on the famous theme tune, the BBC has announced. Segun Akinola, an alumni of the Royal Birmingham Conservatoire and the National Film and Television School, will provide the soundtracks for the new episodes, which will star Jodie Whittaker as The Doctor and the first female Time Lord. You knew that, right? The musician was part of the BAFTA Breakthrough Brit programme in 2017 and has previously worked on programmes such as Black & British: A Forgotten History, which attracted the attention of new Doctor Who showrunner, That There Chris Chibnall. Segun has also scored films including A Moving Image and Dear Mister Shakespeare, as well as TV series for the BBC and PBS. Akinola, who started composing after learning piano and drums as a child, said: 'Doctor Who is woven into the fabric of British culture and recognised globally. I am absolutely thrilled to be given the privilege of working on such a beloved series and to bring my musical voice to it.' Chibnall added: 'Welcome to the Doctor Who family, Segun Akinola! We're over the Moon Segun's agreed to join us, to provide the score for the next phase of the Doctor Who adventure. From our very first conversations, it was obvious Segun was a passionate, collaborative and delightful human being as well as a fantastic and bold composer. We're looking forward to introducing the world to his exciting and emotional soundtracks for the thirteenth Doctor.' Or, fourteenth if you count John Hurt. Or, fifteenth if you count David Bradley. Or sixteenth if you count Richard Hurndall. Or ... to be continued.
Meanwhile, dear blog reader, please allow this blogger to direct you to a superb opinion-piece by the author Juno Dawson in the Metro, Doctor Who Doesn't Belong To The White Man, It Belongs To Everyone. Word, sister.
From all that malarkey, dear blog reader, to the Westworld series two finale, The Passenger. Which this blogger thought was ... Mad! As! Fekking! Toast! And, seemingly, so did lots of other people. And, you can read all about it here and here and here and here. Although, this chap was, seemingly, less than happy. Ooo, pure-dead vexed, so he was. Aal stroppy in his discombobulation and that. Hell hath no fury like a fanboy forced to use his brain more than he's used to. This blogger is a member of Doctor Who fandom, dear blog reader, trust me, we've got loads of them.
It helped, somewhat, that co-showrunner Lisa Joy used an interview with The Hollywood Reporter almost immediately after the final episode was broadcast to explain some of the more complex parts of the storyline(s). And, to where the future for Westworld may lead. Which, was jolly useful to this blogger in particular as he wasn't certain whether that remarkable final scene had, effectively, retconned two entire series worth of plot out of existence. Seemingly, it hadn't, so that was good news!
The Passenger also ended with a variety of favourite characters - Hosts and Humans - seemingly killed, or their consciousness transferred into other Host bodies. Or, in some cases, spheres. Certainly, Delores - now inhabiting the Charlotte Hale Host - was seen with at least five data cores in her bag as she left the park. Which, of course, immediately raised the question of who they were? Bernard was one, obviously - we know that from a subsequent scene - but who, exactly, were the other four? That, presumably, is going to be series three of Westworld in a sentence! Speaking after the finale, co-showrunner Jonathan Nolan confirmed that Elsie (played by Shannon Woodward) will definitely not be returning for a third series and suggested that the Hosts who passed to The Sublime - including the consciousness of the previously deceased host, Teddy (James Marsden) - may also not return, which would appear to signal a huge cast change next year. 'It's a large ensemble cast and sadly we're saying goodbye to some people at the end of this season,' Nolan toldEntertainment Weekly. 'But as always with this show, who remains and who doesn't is something we're having a lot of fun with. There's going to be a bit of a wait for a third season but we want to surprise and hopefully delight people with the way things progress.'
Game publisher Bethesda is reported to be very suing Warner Brothers over a game based around Westworld. Bethesda alleges the Westworld game, released last week, is 'a blatant rip-off' of its Fallout Shelter title. Included in the legal challenge is Canadian developer Behaviour Interactive, which helped Bethesda develop Fallout Shelter in 2014. The Westworld game gives players the job of managing the titular theme park and its robotic inhabitants. The facility managed by the player can be expanded underground and includes many of the locations seen in the TV series. Many reviews of the game mentioned its 'similarity' to Fallout Shelter, which gives players the job of managing and expanding an underground facility. In legal papers - widely shared online - Bethesda alleges this similarity is 'more than skin deep' and the game uses code Behaviour wrote when creating Fallout Shelter. In some cases, it claims, 'bugs' seen in early drafts of Fallout Shelter code also crop up in the Westworld game. Bethesda claims the Westworld game infringes its copyright and Behaviour has misappropriated trade secrets, broken contractual agreements limiting what it can do with the Fallout code and 'indulged in unfair competition.' In a statement given to Variety, Bethesda said it would 'vigorously protect its legal rights in the valuable intellectual properties it owns, and take legal action whenever those rights are being infringed.' It is seeking 'substantial damage' - ie. loads of wonga - and a jury trial.
Channel Four has unveiled the first look at a balding Benedict Cumberbatch in its upcoming Brexit drama. Cumberbatch will play Dominic Cummings, the leading strategist and Campaign Director of Vote Leave, in the one-off drama written by award-winning writer James Graham and directed by Black Mirror's Toby Haynes. Filming has begun on the drama that will follow the Brexit campaign from the viewpoints of the largely unknown strategists in both the leave and remain campaigns, exploring how modern data-driven techniques contributed to one of the most unexpected results in political history. Brexit (working title) also stars Rory Kinnear as Craig Oliver, David Cameron's Director of Communications and John Heffernan as Matthew Elliott, political lobbyist and Chief Executive of Vote Leave. The cast also features Richard Goulding as Boris Johnson, Oliver Maltman as Michael Gove, Paul Ryan as Nigel Farage and Liz White as Cummings' wife, Mary Wakefield, among others. 'I'm so excited - not to mention a little nervous - to have this chance to try and get under the skin of what happened during that historic vote,' explained Graham. 'I hope by going behind-the-scenes of the campaign, we're able to interrogate the consequences of what happened during these eight weeks that have changed the country forever. To work with this incredible team and Channel Four to bring this story to life on screen is a real honour.'
Peaky Blinders creator, Steven Knight, has revealed that series five will start shooting this autumn. The writer was talking about the upcoming fifth season with Birmingham Live and as well as revealing when shooting would begin, also gave us a few other little hints about what to expect. 'We are going into The Thirties now,' he said. 'There is so much stuff happening, so why not finish the job?' Knight went on to refer to the depression, which will play an essential part in season five's storyline. 'It is setting those things up. In The Thirties across Europe and Britain, there was the rise of fascism.' Knight has already said that he would like the show to run for seven series in total, which will give him enough time to tell the story he has in mind. Asked how Peaky Blinders will end, Steven replied: 'In my mind, it ends with the first air-raid siren in the Second World War. My mum told a story about the air-raid siren going off and her mum coming in, pulling the blankets off, and saying, "Come on, the buggers are here."'
And, so to That There World Cup, dear blog reader. If you heard the rumours then, yes, almost unbelievably they were true, England were winning five-nil at half-time in their second World Cup match against Panama on Sunday. However they were, it should be noted, playing against a team that would probably struggle in League Two. So, it might be an idea not to get too carried away by this performance. Not that this stopped lots of people with tattoos - in the media and elsewhere - from doing exactly that and getting very carried away!
Nope, definitely no - massive - over-reaction going on in this country, dear blog readers. Nothing to see here ...
England achieved their most emphatic World Cup result in history as Harry Kane's hat-trick helped them thrash a, frankly, piss-poor Panama side and reach the last sixteen of the competition with one group game still to play. A rather confusing Sunday afternoon followed for football supporters all across England who'd never really experienced this sort of easy passage before. It was very disconcerting, frankly. Is this the way Brazilians feel most of the time? There were, as noted above, five (that's FIVE!) first-half goals, with John Stones heading in the opener. Kane made it two-nil from the spot before Jesse Lingard, who was fouled in the box for the penalty, then made it three-nil with a great bending strike. Stones headed his second after Raheem Sterling had hit the bar, Kane smashed in another penalty and then, early in the second-half, Kane scored a lucky third the ball deflecting in off his heel from a Ruben Loftus-Cheek shot. Felipe Baloy fired in a consolation goal for the Central Americans late in the game and, bless 'em, their supporters went ape-shit! So, everyone was happy. Except the Scots, obviously. They're never happy. This was the first time England had scored four goals in a World Cup match since the 1966 final against Germany and the first time they'd ever scored six. Kane, who now has five goals in the tournament, became the third England player to score a hat-trick in a World Cup, after Geoff Hurst in 1966 and Gary Lineker in 1986. England's opening win over Tunisia contained one serious flaw which needed correcting - namely a lack of ruthlessness and a clinical edge in front of goal. As Panama were totally dismantled, that failing was addressed. Panama, however, are - by a distance - the worst side at this World Cup (and, given that one of the others is Saudi Arabia's Under Elevens, that really is saying something). But, as the old maxim has it, you can only beat (or draw, or get beat by) what's in front of you. In many ways, England's performance in this match was not that dissimilar to the way they played in the first game. The main difference was, by the time they hit the wall and ran out of steam here, they were already five-nil up so it didn't matter really matter. England had actually made a somewhat subdued and sloppy start before The Rolling Stones powered in Kieran Trippier's corner to put them ahead on eight minutes. It was plain sailing from then on. Gareth Southgate's side sparkled in the first-half heat of Nizhny Novgorod, pace and movement mixed with flashes of individual brilliance - such as Lingard's goal - to reduce Panama to an ill-disciplined shambles. When they get it right, England do have the firepower to trouble many teams. They also showed commendable first-half discipline to avoid getting involved in Panama's ham-fisted physical approach, simply letting the inevitable take its course in the hands of the Egyptian referee, Ghead Grisha, who had a very good game and appeared determined to punish penalty-area transgressions. In exactly the way that many of his colleagues in previous games at this tournament - England's last very much included - have seemed reluctant to do. England inevitably eased off with the game - and their place in the last sixteen - already assured and, of course, greater tests will lie ahead. But this was the sort of performance which will do wonders for confidence as the World Cup reaches the knockout stages. And, inevitably, it will also have a few numbskull tabloids gormlessly bellowing that we're now going to win the thing. Time will tell. It usually does.
Quote of the World Cup so far, from Danny Murphy on BBC1 during the England versus Panama game. 'It's always great to score at the World Cup. Especially for your country.' Well, who the bloody Hell else are you going to be scoring for at the World Cup, Dan, Hartlepool? Jeez, once-in-a-generation-mind, that bloke.
Alan Shearer is already a total legend as far as this blogger is concerned for his exploits with Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies, but he went even higher in this blogger's estimation with just two words. In reply to Gary Lineker queuing up a Wimbeldon trailer during half-time at the football with the question 'anyone for tennis?' Shearer gave a simple reply: 'Not really!' You're speakin' for us all, Big Man!
This blogger was recently introduced to Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson's brain-meltingly brilliant football podcast Athletico Mince. Which, if you're not listening to dear blog reader, you definitely should be. There is a down side, however, as some of the catchphrases from Bob and Andy's sketches tend to get stuck in ones head at the most inappropriate moments. Like during the England game, for example when, after Harry Kane was substituted in the second-half, this blogger found it utterly impossible not to hear the England players whispering among themselves 'don't pass to Vardy!'
It seemed that virtually everyone and their dog was watching the football. Oi, Lewis mate, weren't you supposed to be driving your jam-jar on Sunday afternoon or something?
Meanwhile, if you want to see something really tragic - and yet, utterly hilarious at the same time, here's a video allegedly showing the former England manager - and full-of-his-own-importance fool - Sam Allardyce. Sitting (seemingly, on his own) in a pub, munching on a burger with a geet big gurn on his mush whilst watching the team that he could have been managing at the World Cup beating Panama. And, muttering 'satnfatnbatnratngarethsouthgatedailytelegraphscumbastardssatnfatnbatn ...' Probably. Although, as it turns out, all was not, quite, as it seemed. At least, according to the Sun.
The big winners of the day would appear to have been the BBC - not only did they get one of the largest TV audiences of the year for their coverage of England's game but, drunk on the patriotic euphoria of that, many punters may well have chosen to stick around and watch Japan versus Senegal immediately afterwards on the grounds that we're likely to be playing one of these two in the next round!
England's record-breaking victory over Panama, as it happens, drew an eighty three per cent peak share of the available television audience to BBC1. The match attracted a peak overnight audience of just over fourteen million punters as England secured a place in the last sixteen with their biggest ever win at a World Cup. There were also 2.8m requests (3.05m with on-demand) to stream the match on BBC iPlayer and the BBC Sport website. In terms of comparing the peak share, it was eighty nine per cent for the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony. The other eleven per cent were all round at Morrissey's house watching Emmerdale. Probably.
So, England won the football, at the same time, at Old Trafford, England were also winning the cricket (from what seemed earlier an unwinnable position) and, in France, Lewis won the Grand Prix. This blogger feels strangely conflicted. As great Bill Bailey once noted we're English, we're supposed to crave disappointment and, definitely, not have days like that. Although, inevitably, not everyone was happy. There's always one, isn't there?
The old cliché suggests that one should never - not never - write it. But now, seemingly, we can.
Yes, dear blog reader, almost as unbelievable as it is to write these words, defending world champions Germany have been eliminated from the World Cup and have finished rock bottom of Group F after losing two-nil to South Korea in Kazan. God, it was funny. Express any worry in Germany about how the national team is going to perform at a major tournament and a single-word response usually follows. 'Turniermannschaft,' you will be told. It means, literally, 'tournament team' and the implication is that when the major tournaments come around, Germany always turn up. And, to be fair, they almost always do. After the defeat by South Korea the 'deadly silence in the dressing room' that their coach spoke of later said it all; in Russia, they didn't. Kim Young-Gwon's ninety second-minute goal, awarded after a video assistant referee decision, left four-time winners Germany on the brink of elimination. Then, six minutes into stoppage time, with Germany goalkeeper Manuel Neuer in possession in the opponents' half, Ju Se-Jong robbed him and launched the ball forward. Son Heung-Min ran from his own half and tapped into an empty net to seal the German's sorry fate. It was the first time since 1938 that a Germany or West Germany side has not advanced beyond the first section of the tournament (although, that excluded the 1950 competition, in which they didn't take part), as Joachim Löw's side crashed and burned in Russia. The last time that had happened to the Germans was at The Battle of Kursk. Oh, hang on, it's probably best not to mention the VAR. Eighty years ago, Germany lost four-two in a replay against Switzerland to go out in the first round of the 1938 World Cup when it was a straight knockout tournament but their 2018 exit was the first time that Germany had ever failed to make it through the group stage at a World Cup in which they have competed. With Sweden winning three-nil against Mexico in the other group game, Germany knew that they had to score in a frantic finish to have any hope of progressing. A win for Germany would have edged Mexico out on goal difference but the drama came at the other end as Kim put the ball into the net. It was initially ruled out for offside, however, the VAR review showed that the ball had deflected into Kim's path off a German player - Toni Kroos - and, therefore, the goal was correctly given. With Germany desperately looking for an equaliser, Neuer joined the attack. But he was caught out as a long ball left Stottingtot Hotshots striker Son with the simple task of walking the ball into the net to spark jubilant celebrations among the Asian side, even though their own elimination had already been confirmed. The Germans will bitterly regret their wastefulness in front of goal when the game was still goalless. South Korea's goalkeeper Cho Hyeon-Woo made a series of fine saves, particularly a one-handed effort from Leon Goretzka's header whilst Timo Werner volleyed wide from near the penalty shot. Mats Hummels headed over the top when unmarked six yards out in the closing stages, before those two late Korean goals. South Korea, despite winning a lot of friends with their open, attractive play, nevertheless went into the match with no points from their opening two games after losing to both Sweden and Mexico. However, they still had a mathematical chance of qualifying for the last sixteen, although they needed Mexico to beat Sweden. South Korea had the first chance when Jung Woo-Young's free-kick was fumbled by Neuer, who punched clear bravely as Son tried to get to the rebound. Son also lashed a volley wide, before being booked in the second-half as referee Mark Geiger adjudged that he had dived in an attempt to win a penalty (subsequent TV replays suggested he had, in fact, be the victim of a foul). Even though the score in Ekaterinburg ended South Korea's hopes of going through, they still sensed the possibility of memorable win over the Germans. The team, fifty seventh in FIFA's world rankings, achieved that victory thanks to the two late goals, both of which were celebrated as if they had qualified themselves. Ahead of the game, Löw had talked repeatedly about the need to protect against counter-attacks. Three measures, he suggested, were necessary: better ball circulation, better counter-pressing and more protection of the space in front of the back four. To achieve the first two objectives, Löw brought back into the side the out of form Mesut Özil in place of Julian Draxler. The Arse playmaker took up some good positions between the lines but had more impact defensively, combining well with Marco Reus and Timo Werner to win the ball in dangerous positions for Germany. Leon Goretzka, a surprise addition on the right, where Thomas Müller usually roams, had the task of supporting right-back Joshua Kimmich against the threat of Son Heung-Min while box-to-box specialist Sami Khedira was reinstalled behind Toni Kroos as a somewhat reluctant holding midfielder. The partial success of these changes - Niklas Sule replaced the suspended Jérôme Boateng - in Germany's play against the ball was, unfortunately, offset by a severe lack of fluidity when they actually had hold of it. Khedira's limited range of passing and lack of pace hurt the holders' approach play. They often seemed caught in two minds: should they try to hit runners early or keep the ball in the oppressive heat with a view to exhaust the South Koreans? The ensuing uninspiring mishmash was summed up a few minutes before half-time when Goretzka took the ball from a deep position and started running down the channel all by himself, until his path was blocked by a red shirt. Shin Tae-Yong's team felt it more difficult to keep up the tempo in the second-half and, inevitably, dropped deeper. Germany's game in possession became a little more composed as a result, but a header from Goretzka and a skewed volley from Werner aside, chances were still at a premium. The Leipzig man did not lead the line effectively and was much happier when moved out to the right when Mario Gómez arrived on the hour mark. The introduction of the Stuttgart striker could be seen as an admission that Löw's system wasn't working. A further substitution saw Müller - so horribly disappointing in the previous two games - on for Goretzka. In a tournament that saw Germany create little from set pieces - Kroos' wonder-strike against Sweden apart - the inability to produce pretty much anything from open play either was, ultimately, their downfall. Germany are the fourth defending champions to be eliminated from the Group Stage at the World Cup in the last five tournaments (after France in 2002, Italy in 2010 and Spain in 2014). Since the 2010 tournament, Germany have lost both of their World Cup matches in which Müller has not started (they also lost to Spain in the 2010 semi-final).
Of course, the reaction in the German media to this was far more measured and dignified than the sort of nonsense which usually goes on in England whenever we get knocked out of a major tournament. Wasn't it?
More unexpectedly, perhaps, there was some sympathy and understanding from the British tabloid press. No, actually, that's a complete lie, there wasn't. There was, however, the first recorded instance of the Sun using a word with four syllables on its front page, so credit where it's due.
And, it was nice to see that the Brazilians have seemingly managed to get over the Germans beating them seven-one in 2014 in an impressively adult way.
The former - really not very good - Moscow Chelski FC and Stottingtot Hotshots defender Jason Cundy has snivellingly apologised after his ludicrous claim, broadcast on national television, that female football commentators voices are 'too high-pitched.' The, hopefully soon-to-be-former, TalkSport presenter offered up his - utterly and completely worthless - opinions on ITV's Good Morning Britain, before being labelled 'a sexist pig' by the show's co-host, that oily odious twat Piers Morgan. Jesus, dear blog reader, it has come to a pretty sorry state of affairs when one is actually forced to agree with something Piers Morgan has said. Shame on you for that, Jason Cundy, shame and double shame. And, you were a crap footballer as well so what the Hell right you have to be passing comment on The World Cup is another question entirely. This blogger's former BBC Newcastle colleague Vicki Sparks became the first female commentator for a BBC TV World Cup match when she presented Portugal's Group B clash against Morocco from Moscow last Wednesday. However, Cundy was, seemingly, not a fan and told the programme: 'I found it a tough listen. I prefer to hear a male voice. For ninety minutes listening to a high-pitched tone isn't what I want to hear. When there's a moment of drama, which there often is in football, I think that moment needs to be done with a slightly lower voice.' The ITV reporter and presenter Jacqui Oatley responded on Twitter: 'Frustrating that this "female commentator" debate is still such an issue, eleven years after my first Match Of The Day game and eight years after I did seven live World Cup commentaries on 5Live. Voice/style preference is always subjective - to say it "shouldn't be allowed' says more about the critic.' As does the fact that Cundy never even got close to winning an England cap or playing at the level he's now supposed to be an expert on. Cundy subsequently insisted that he was not 'questioning the expertise or otherwise' of female presenters - oh no, very hot water - adding: 'It's nothing to do with her insight, the way she delivers it or her knowledge or her ability to do the job - it's the voice.' On Monday night he went further and offered an apology via Twitter. He wrote: 'I want to sincerely apologise for the comments I made on Good Morning Britain. I came away realising just how foolish and out of order they were and how I deserved the backlash I have received. There are times when you have to hold your hands up and admit you are wrong and have been an idiot - and this is definitely one of those times. I regret the comments and also the hurt and anger they caused. I realise there is absolutely no place for these demeaning attitudes towards female commentators and I'm truly sorry.' One or two people even believed him.
Jos Buttler hit the fastest Twenty20 international half-century by an England batsman to propel the home side to a thrilling twenty eight-run win over Australia. Buttler, promoted to open, reached fifty from twenty two balls at Edgbaston on Wednesday evening. He ended with sixty one and, along with a rapid-fire forty nine from Alex Hales and Jason Roy's forty four, helped England to two hundred and twenty one for five, their second-highest international T20 total. Though Aaron Finch hammered eighty four from forty one balls, Australia were bowled out for one hundred and ninety three, with Adil Rashid claiming three for twenty seven. It completed an utterly miserable tour for Australia, their first trip to England since the South African ball-tampering scandal, in which they suffering a pants-down five-nil hiding in the one-day series. England play the first of three T20 internationals against India at Old Trafford next Tuesday. Buttler's stellar performances across three formats of the game, which began with five successive half-centuries opening the batting in the Indian Premier League, resulted in a push to the top of the order for England's T20 side. If his match-winning century in the fifth ODI on Sunday was a mature and measured performance, this innings on a run-filled Edgbaston pitch was Buttler back to his customary brutal hitting and cute invention. He opened his shoulders by smashing debutant leg-spinner Mitchell Swepson for a straight six and, in the next over, took eighteen runs from four Kane Richardson deliveries. No bowler was safe - left-arm spinner Ashton Agar was heaved over mid-wicket and paceman Billy Stanlake slapped over the extra cover rope. When Stanlake was scooped for four, Buttler had beaten the twenty three-ball half-century made by Ravi Bopara against Australia in 2014 and the assault only stopped when he dragged Swepson to D'Arcy Short at deep mid-wicket. On a sun-kissed evening at a rocking Edgbaston, Australia captain Finch gave away the chance to bat first and saw his team suffer bigly from then on. Previously on this tour, they had been given few reminders of the ball-tampering controversy, but Edgbaston is perhaps the most partisan of England's home venues. Throughout, Australia endured songs that claimed they are 'always cheating' - even when something as innocuous as an unsuccessful appeal for a run-out occurred. Nothing, except an impressive spell from the slippery Swepson and Finch's hitting, went right for the visitors. Richardson's plight typified their evening. He dropped a really simple chance at long-off when Roy was on twenty seven, his nought for fifty nine in his four overs is the second-most expensive return by an Australia bowler in T20 history and, later, he was dismissed by the first ball he faced. The reprieved Roy freed his arms at every possible opportunity, Hales mixed power with deft touches and Joe Root recovered from a slow start to make a classy thirty five. Australia dragged it back late on, but by the time Jonny Bairstow spanked Andrew Tye's final ball of the innings for six over long on, Edgbaston resembled a rock concert. Destructive opener Finch's one hundred and fifty six at Southampton in 2013 is still the highest score in T20 internationals. Here, he saw his team-mates once again struggle against spin - Rashid and Moeen Ali combined to take three wickets for eight runs in the space of nine balls to reduce Australia to seventy two for five. By the end of the ninth over, Finch had faced only nineteen balls and Australia needed one hundred and forty nine runs. Finch, now with Agar for company, exploded into life. Targeting the leg side, he dished out some devastating treatment to Moeen in particular. The off-spinner's final two overs cost forty one runs, only six of which were hit by Agar. Still, the required rate did not get below thirteen runs per over and Finch perished trying to continue the charge, miscuing the dependable leg-spin of Rashid to Chris Jordan at long-on. Australia's slim hopes departed with their skipper. The Edgbaston crowd, briefly concerned, returned to revelling in raucous versions of 'Sweet Caroline', Tom Hark' and 'Three Lions' as the tourists lost their last five wickets for thirty five runs.
EastEnders is to broadcast an episode featuring 'accounts from relatives of real-life victims of knife crime.' It is part of the soap's ongoing knife-crime storyline, which saw character Shakil Kazemi stabbed and killed by a gang in an episode in May. The 'true stories' will be incorporated into an episode next month centring around the funeral of Shakil.The accounts will be told by the relatives themselves in what is a first for the soap. The knife-crime storyline was written to mark the tenth anniversary of the death of former cast member Brooke Kinsella's brother. EastEnders executive consultant John Yorke said that the need to include the real-life stories became 'apparent' when the show's researchers spoke to the families about the challenging storyline. Yorke said: 'From the very beginning we were determined to treat the difficult subject of knife crime in a responsible, non-sensationalist way. We started out with detailed research, and the more stories we heard, the more we felt other people should hear them too. The episode gradually evolved into something unique for EastEnders - real families telling their own devastating stories alongside our own characters. We've tried to find a way to do justice to an incredibly difficult, tragic and emotive subject,' he added. In the episode, to be shown in July, viewers will see Shakil's funeral interspersed with cutaways of the relatives talking about their real-life experiences. At least forty six people have been fatally stabbed in London this year, with almost thirteen hundred stabbings in the capital in total up to the end of April, according to statistics from the Metropolitan Police. In addition to the EastEnders special, BBC Three will be producing a series of short films that will reveal more about the lives of the families involved in the episode.
ABC has ordered a spin-off to Roseanne, although obviously without the involvement of its creator Roseanne Barr whose career is now, effectively, cattle-trucked. The original writers, producers and cast members will be involved in the new show, given the working title The Conners. Barr will not receive any payment for the series, ABC said. The network extremely cancelled Roseanne in May, immediately after Barr posted a sick racist tweet. Later attempting to blame the sedative pill Ambien for her hateful words, Barr likened a former aide of President Barack Obama to an ape. A vocal supporter of President - and hairdo - Donald Trump, Barr received support from The White House during the ensuing scandal, not that it did her much good as her ass remaining well-and-truly sacked. The Conners will start in the autumn and is expected to have Roseanne's daughter, Darlene, played by Sara Gilbert, as the main protagonist. Aside from Gilbert, core cast members John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, Lecy Goranson and Michael Fishman will also appear in the ten-episode series. In a joint statement the five said that their characters 'not only have a place in our hearts, but in the hearts and homes of our audience. We are so happy to have the opportunity to return with the cast and crew to continue to share those stories through love and laughter.' For her part, Barr expressed 'regret' for her removal, saying in a statement that she 'agreed' to a settlement with ABC 'in order that two hundred jobs of beloved cast and crew could be saved' and 'wished the best' for all involved. It is not yet known how the writers of The Conners will address the disappearance of the former lead character - although an embarrassing off-screen death cannot be ruled out. Falling into a slurry-pit and drowning in her own filth, that sort of thing. Meanwhile, Barr claims that she 'regrets' making herself 'a hate magnet' after tweeting the racist comment. In a tearful podcast interview with her friend, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, she claimed that she 'never would have wittingly called any black person a monkey.' Barr sparked an online backlash after she compared the former White House advisor Valerie Jarrett to the child of the Islamist group the Muslim Brotherhood and the Planet of the Apes film. 'I said to God: "I am willing to accept whatever consequences this brings because I know I've done wrong. I'm going to accept what the consequences are." And I do, and I have,' she claimed in the interview. One or two people even believed her. 'But they don't ever stop. They don't accept my apology, or explanation. And I've made myself a hate magnet. And as a Jew, it's just horrible,' she whinged. She said of her tweet that she 'didn't mean what they think I meant. But I have to face that it hurt people. When you hurt people, even unwillingly, there's no excuse. I don't want to run off and blather on with excuses. But I apologise to anyone who thought, or felt offended and who thought that I meant something that I, in fact, did not mean. It was my own ignorance, and there's no excuse for that ignorance.' And, if you go on Google and look up 'non-apology apology' you'll find that one pretty close to the top of the list. 'I've lost everything,' she said on the podcast. 'And I regretted it before I lost everything.' But, she regretted it more after she lost everything, one imagines.
HBO's website has been blocked in China after censors on Chinese social media platform Weibo banned mentions of the very excellent John Oliver following the British comedian's parody of Chinese president Xi Jinping. According to the anti-censorship and monitoring group Greatfire.org, HBO's website was 'completely blocked' within China as of Saturday, days after media reports emerged that Weibo had censored new posts mentioning Oliver or his HBO show Last Week Tonight. After a wide-ranging twenty-minute segment 17 June in which Oliver called Xi 'the creepy uncle who imprisons eight hundred thousand people in his basement,' the Twitter-like service blocked new posts related to Oliver as well as searches for the show's Chinese name, Shangzhou jinye xiu. Attempts to access HBO's website from within China were unsuccessful on Monday. The website for HBO Asia, a Singapore-based broadcast network that airs HBO content in China through Dingjijuchang, a Tencent TV subscription service, also appeared to be blocked. The subscription does not include all HBO shows. His segment on Xi could not be found on Chinese streaming sites where other episodes of Last Week Tonight have been uploaded by individual users. Youtube, which hosts clips of the show, has long been blocked in China. Any blocking of HBO's website in China is not likely to have a huge impact. Access to HBO's often salacious content has always been spotty in China, with Chinese broadcasters heavily censoring shows like Game Of Thrones. Most Chinese users watch HBO through virtual private networks. In the show, Oliver made fun of the Chinese president's apparent sensitivity over comparisons of his figure with that of Winnie The Pooh. Images of the AA Milne character, used to mock Xi, have also been censored in China. 'If your face even remotely resembles that of a beloved cartoon character, the smart move here is to lean in,' Oliver said, showing an image of his own face next to that of The Lion King's Zazu, a red-billed hornbill. Oliver also took a serious tone in the show, criticising Xi for the removal of term limits from the Chinese constitution, the use of political re-education camps in the Muslim province of Xinjiang and a crackdown on civil society. Oliver noted the continued house arrest of Liu Xia, wife of Chinese dissident and nobel laureate Liu Xiaobo who died last year while serving an eleven-year prison sentence. 'While China has never been known as a haven for free expression, [Xi] has clamped down noticeably on any form of dissent whatsoever,' Oliver said. And, one imagines that reporting all of this malarkey is likely to lead to From The North's three regular Chinese dear blog readers being unable to access this blog. So, it's nice for this blogger to find himself in good company. For once.
The 'safety operator' of a self-driving Uber car was 'watching TV' just before the vehicle was involved in a fatal collision, a police report has revealed. The Uber struck and killed pedestrian Elaine Herzberg of Tempe, Arizona in March. The police report suggests that the car's 'driver' was streaming an episode of The Voice rather than monitoring the car's progress. It suggests she could face charges of vehicle manslaughter. And, further charges of watching a crap TV show instead of something more worthwhile. The Tempe police report said that the crash was 'entirely avoidable' if the Uber operator, Rafaela Vasquez, had been watching the road whilst the car was operating autonomously. County prosecutors have received a copy of the police report, which was released on 21 June following a freedom of information request. In its experiments with driverless cars, Uber has mandated that a human operator 'pays attention at all times' so they can take over 'in difficult situations' or 'when the vehicle encounters a situation it does not know how to handle.' Like when it's about to crash into someone. Vasquez looked up from her phone screen about half-a-second before the crash, the report suggested, but had been concentrating on her phone for about five seconds previously. At the time, the driverless Volvo car was travelling at forty four miles per hour. In a statement, Uber said that it was 'co-operating fully' with the 'continuing investigations' whilst it did its own internal safety review. It added: 'We have a strict policy prohibiting mobile device usage for anyone operating our self-driving vehicles. We plan to share more on the changes we'll make to our program soon.' The Tempe police report comes less than a month after a preliminary investigation into the crash was released by the US National Transportation Safety Board. This revealed that the Uber car had 'about six seconds' to react after spotting Herzberg crossing the road in the dark ahead of it. The car 'failed' to identify Herzberg as a pedestrian, it found and took 'no action to avoid hitting her' nor 'did it perform an emergency stop.'
Heather Locklear has been arrested for battery against a police officer and ambulance worker, the Ventura County Sheriff's Office says. According to the TMZ website, Locklear launched her attack 'while intoxicated on Sunday night' after her family called nine-one-one. The fifty six-year-old former actress, who rose to fame in the 1980s TV show Dynasty, is currently being held in The Big House on twenty thousand bucks bail. It comes just days after she was released from hospital following a three-day psychiatric evaluation. The actress' behaviour has sparked concern over recent months amid numerous run-ins with authorities. In April, she pleaded not guilty to similar counts of battery against a sheriff's officer, after being very arrested in February. At that time, she was also apprehended on charges of domestic violence - but those were later dropped. The actress had a previous brush with the authorities in 2008, when she was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of prescription medication. She was fined nine hundred dollars and sentenced to three years' informal probation after pleading guilty to reckless driving. Additionally, Locklear and her ex-fiance Jack Wagner were ordered to appear in court in 2012 after a violent fight with kids gettin' sparked and aal sorts. Locklear, who was previously married to Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora, followed her breakthrough role as Sammy Jo Carrington in Dynasty by starring in Melrose Place. She later appeared on TJ Hooker and the sitcom Spin City, for which she was twice nominated for a Golden Globe.
Netflix has extremely fired the ass of its head of communications over his use of 'the N-word.' And, the N-word in question was not nincompoop. Although it probably should have been. In an internal memo, Chief Executive Reed Hastings grovellingly apologised to staff for 'not acting sooner.' He said the comments showed 'a deep lack of understanding.' No shit? Jonathan Friedland wrote in a tweet: 'I feel awful about the distress this lapse caused to people at a company I love.' He had been at the video streaming firm since 2011. 'Leaders have to be beyond reproach in the example we set and unfortunately I fell short of that standard when I was insensitive in speaking to my team about words that offend in comedy,' he said. 'His descriptive use of the N-word on at least two occasions at work showed unacceptably low racial awareness and sensitivity,' Hastings' memo to staff read. Hastings detailed two instances when Friedland was said to have used the grossly offensive term. The first was at a meeting with the public relations team to discuss sensitive words. 'Several people afterwards told him how inappropriate and hurtful his use of the N-word was and Jonathan apologised to those that had been in the meeting,' Hastings wrote. 'We hoped this was an awful anomaly never to be repeated.' However, a few days later the term was used again - this time at a meeting of black employees at the company. Hastings claimed that he had 'only recently' heard about the second incident. He went on to praise Friedland’s contribution to the company. 'Jonathan has been a great contributor and he built a diverse global team creating awareness for Netflix, strengthening our reputation around the world and helping make us into the successful company we are today. Many of us have worked closely with Jonathan for a long time and have mixed emotions. Unfortunately, his lack of judgement in this area was too big for him to remain.'
Sir Ray Davies has told those risible Middle Class hippy Communists at Channel Four News that The Kinks are 'getting back together' to make a new record. But only, after they've had a pint. Ray said that he was 'inspired by The Rolling Stones. I've got all these songs that I wrote for the band when we, not broke up, parted company and I think it's kind of an appropriate time to do it,' he said. Sir Ray and his brother, Dave, had a famously fractious relationship and the band split more than twenty years ago although they have, recently, performed together on stage on occasions. Ray, who took a call from the band's drummer Mick Ivory during the interview, said that he could confirm 'The Kinks are getting back together. In the pub at least.'
Sir Barry Gibb paid tribute to his late brothers as he collected his knighthood on Tuesday. Barry is the last surviving member of The Bee Gees after the death of Maurice - following a bowel operation in 2003 - and his twin Robin - in 2012 from cancer. 'If it was not for my brothers, I would not be here. If I had spent my whole life writing songs on my own, it would have meant something else altogether. I hope and pray they are aware of what's happened,' said Sir Barry. The seventy one-year-old said there is 'no question' he would have loved to have shared this special day with his brothers. The singer, songwriter and producer was honoured for his services to music and charity.
A Florida woman accused of shooting her husband in the testicles is back in jail after failing to show up to court, WJAX reports. Police said that Kimberly Dunn 'lost her cool' when her husband and his brother came to her Lake City home last year to pick up an air conditioning unit she was trying to sell on Facebook. The couple was going through a - seemingly, rather bitter - divorce at the time. According to the report, Dunn sat on the unit to prevent the two men from taking it. When her husband tried to get her off the A/C, she tried to fend him off with a stun gun, then fired a round at her now ex-husband's plums using a handgun. Her husband's brother 'was able to restrain Dunn and take his brother to the hospital.' Police said that her husband picked up the gun and brought it with him to the hospital. Dunn was duly arrested and 'booked into the Columbia County Jail without incident.' She later told investigators that she did not intend to shoot her husband in the knackers, she only 'wanted to scare him.' On Thursday, Dunn was jailed for failing to show up to court and now faces an additional charge of contempt of court.
The government has abandoned plans for five community prisons for women in England and Wales. Instead, the Ministry of Justice will trial five residential centres to 'help' offenders with 'issues' such as finding work and drug rehabilitation. Justice Secretary David Gauke said that short custodial sentences for bad lasses had failed to halt 'the cycle of offending.' Peter Dawson, director of the Prison Reform Trust, said 'thousands' of women would 'benefit' from the change. He described the strategy as a 'welcome recognition of the futility of short prison sentences' for women whose offending is often 'driven by unmet mental health needs.' In the foreword to the strategy published on Wednesday, Gauke said seventy per cent of women and sixty three per cent of men released from custody between April and June 2016 after a sentence of less than a year went on to re-offend within twelve months. Gauke added there was 'persuasive evidence' that the new approach would 'help reduce' re-offending rates. He said that mothers at the trial residential centres 'might' be able to have their children with them. The government has pledged to spend five million smackers over two years on 'community provision' for women. The Association of Police and Crime Commissioners has welcomed the change in strategy. But Dame Vera Baird QC, representing the APCC, warned the scheme would only work if properly funded and questioned the MoJ's decision to hand fifty million notes - originally earmarked for the prisons - back to the Treasury. Frances Crook, chief executive of the Howard League for Penal Reform, said ministers deserved 'real praise' for the change in approach but - like the APCC - warned it was 'essential that programme is properly funded.
More than thirty homes have been evacuated as a huge moorland fire continues to spread in Greater Manchester. The blaze on Saddleworth Moor has been declared 'a major incident' and the Army is on standby to step in. Incase anyone needs shooting, obviously. The fire began on Sunday night, reignited on Monday during the unseasonally hot weather and then spread throughout Tuesday, fanned by evening winds. Thirty-four homes in Carrbrook, near Stalybridge, were evacuated but there are no reported injuries. Anthony Leach, who lives there, said the smell of smoke is 'in every room. It's like you could almost smoke mackerel in there,' he added. Great Manchester Fire and Recue Service confirmed the blaze was spreading, with smoke and flames 'seen for miles.' The blaze, on tinder-dry hills, has been raging for days despite efforts to halt it. Firefighter Ricky Case, who has been out on the hills, said: 'It's just the sheer vastness of it. It's one of the biggest ones I've been on in a long time. The logistics of it all, trying to get water to the locations where we need it.'GMFRS group manager for Tameside, Phil Nelson, added: 'Crews are still tackling this difficult fire and are working hard to contain the blaze and prevent further fire spread. Firefighters are faced with very difficult circumstances, intense heat and are working on challenging terrain. Our main considerations are for crew welfare. It is physically draining working at this incident and it is vital that our firefighters have regular breaks and that relief crews are available to take over.' On Tuesday night, GMP said more than thirty homes in Carr Rise, Carr Lane and Calico Crescent were being evacuated due to the proximity of the flames. Reverend Chris Finney has opened his church, St James' in Millbrook, to anyone who needs it. 'I'm about a mile away from Calico Crescent. I've lived in this area all my life and I think I can say that within my memory - and I'm in my sixties - I've not seen fires on the moors to the extent that we're looking at them at the moment,' he said. Tameside councillor Clive Patrick added: 'It's terrifying. I've never seen it as bad as this. I've been here now thirty years and this is the worst I've seen.' The Mayor of Greater Manchester, Andy Burnham, thanked fire crews after firefighters from across Greater Manchester, Lancashire and Derbyshire spent much of Tuesday tackling the fire.
Food wholesaler Booker is reported to be rationing beer and cider - during a heatwave and the World Cup - because of a shortage of CO2 used in carbonated drinks. The Tesco-owned retailer, which is used by bars, restaurants and traders, is capping customers to ten cases of beer and five of cider or soft drinks. It is more evidence that a scarcity of CO2 is hurting the food and drink sectors and comes after Heineken and Coca-Cola faced similar disruption. Scotland's biggest abattoir has halted operations because of the gas shortage. Quality Pork Limited, based at Brechin, which puts six thousand pigs a week through its production line, stopped operations on Tuesday afternoon because it ran out of CO2 used to 'stun' the animals before slaughter. QPL plans to send about one thousand pigs to another plant near Manchester this week, but operators say other abattoirs also face a carbon dioxide shortage. Booker said in a statement: 'Due to the international shortage of CO2, we are experiencing some supply issues on soft drinks and beer. We are currently working hard with our suppliers to minimise the impact for our customers and cannot comment further at this stage.' CO2 producers in the UK and mainland Europe have scaled back operations for maintenance, causing a shortage of the gas, whose many uses include improving the shelf life of packaged food and creating dry ice to keep products cool during transport. Heineken said its John Smith's Extra Smooth and Amstel brands had been hit, while Coca-Cola Great Britain said production had been interrupted until fresh CO2 supplies arrived. 'We are currently responding to an industry-wide issue that is impacting the supply of CO2 in the UK. Our focus is on limiting the effect this may have on the availability of our products,' Coca-Cola said. Small UK bottling firms have also been hit. In the West Midlands, Holden's, which has eighty customers, shut down last Friday until further notice. 'I'm left with people sitting around doing nothing,' said operations director Mark Hammond. Morrisons said that 'some' frozen products had been affected by the shortage and it aimed to resume selling its full online range 'as soon as possible.' The food and drink industry hopes that supplies will begin returning to normal in early July, although trade bodies have complained about a lack of communication from CO2 suppliers. Andy McGowan, chief executive of Scottish Pig Producers, a co-operative that runs the Brechin abattoir in collaboration with QPL, said he 'did not know' when they would get a fresh CO2 delivery from their supplier. 'That's the frustrating thing - they're not telling us anything. We're pretty dismayed. The top priority is animal welfare - we will not have ourselves in a situation where the welfare is suffering,' he said. Poultry slaughterhouses have already called for priority supplies of dwindling CO2 stocks, saying the current shortage could have a "potentially huge effect" on British food production. But, that call for the food industry to be 'given priority' has 'raised fears among drinks firms' and smaller businesses that they will be at the back of the queue when gas supplies start to return to normal.
The UK has been enjoying - or enduring - another hottest day of the year, with a health warning for heatwave conditions in place for some. Tuesday saw a top temperature of 30.6C in Porthmadog - beating Monday's peak of 30.1C in West London. The warning, issued by the Met Office, says there is an eighty per cent chance of temperatures being a risk to health. The hot weather is expected to last until the weekend, when temperatures are forecast to slowly drop off. The health warning, for the South-West, North-West and North-East of England and the West Midlands, lasts until Thursday evening. It is intended to 'help social and healthcare teams prepare for the potential dangers a heatwave can present,' especially to the very young, the elderly or those with chronic disease. There is also bad news for hay-fever sufferers as 'very high levels' of pollen are forecast across England, Wales and Northern Ireland throughout the week. Some schools have said that they are cancelling sports days because of 'the extreme heat.' In England, the hottest spot on Tuesday was Rostherne in Cheshire, with a temperature of 30.3C. Aviemore recorded Scotland's peak, with 26C, while Castlederg in County Tyrone was Northern Ireland's high point, with 27C. The Met Office says the UK could reach 33C on Thursday. But the temperature is expected to fall short of the British record for June of 35.6C, reached in London in 1957 and again in Southampton in 1976 (whilst this blogger was on holiday nearby ... in a darkened room suffering from bronchitis). The heat will continue until the weekend, with cooler weather in Eastern areas and the chance of a shower on Sunday. The heatwave has been attributed to the jet stream looping to the North of the UK and then back down to Eastern Europe, creating an area of high pressure over the country which is not shifting. However, for Greece, the direction of the jet stream has produced very stormy conditions. Fears that railway tracks could buckle in the heat prompted Network Rail to introduce speed restrictions. The railway infrastructure operator said track temperatures could reach as much as 20C above the air temperature, meaning the steel rails can 'expand markedly.' The reduced speeds are intended to lower the force exerted on the track, reducing the risk of buckling. Meanwhile, police have urged people to 'be careful' of the temptation to swim in open water in the hot weather. The warning came after the body of a man was recovered from a lake in Nutfield on Monday. The RNLI has urged those heading to the seaside to 'seek out beaches with a lifeguard.' And St John Ambulance is urging people to 'avoid heatstroke by remembering to wear suncream,' keep covered up and 'stay hydrated.' And, also, not to rub their face in a pile of dogshit as that's not very healthy either. In York, police officers smashed the windows of two cars to rescue dogs 'struggling to breathe' inside. Police said tht they had referred the car owners to the RSPCA for prosecution. Homeless people can also be vulnerable if exposed to strong sunshine and heat while sleeping rough, the housing and support charity Evolve said. It called on the public to donate 'things' like suncream, water and sun hats to homeless people either directly, or through a shelter or charity.
A rare phenomenon called a 'sun pillar' was captured by Weather Watchers on Sunday evening.
Harlan Ellison, the prolific, pugnacious, award-winning author of countless stories which cast a caustic eye on society with their nightmarish, sometimes darkly humorous futurist scenarios, has died at the age of eighty four. In his career, Ellison wrote over eighteen hundred short stories, screenplays, novellas, essays, critiques and teleplays, winning eight Hugo awards. His wife, Susan, confirmed the news via her friend Christina Valada on Twitter. 'Susan Ellison has asked me to announce the passing of writer Harlan Ellison, in his sleep, earlier today,' she wrote. Ellison's most notable work includes the 1969 short story A Boy & His Dog, which was later made into a film starring Don Johnson and the memorable Star Trek episode The City On The Edge Of Forever. He was also the editor of the cult SF anthologies Dangerous Visions and its sequel, Again Dangerous Visions.
Born into a Jewish family in Ohio in 1934, Ellison frequently ran away from home as a child taking, he later claimed, a bewildering array of jobs - including, by the age of eighteen, 'tuna fisherman off the coast of Galveston, itinerant crop-picker down in New Orleans, hired gun for a wealthy neurotic, nitroglycerine truck driver in North Carolina, short-order cook, cab driver, lithographer, book salesman, floorwalker in a department store, door-to-door brush salesman and as an actor in several productions at the Cleveland Play House.' Harlan attended Ohio State University for eighteen months before being expelled. He later claimed that the expulsion was for hitting a professor who had denigrated his writing ability. Over the next twenty or so years he, allegedly, sent that professor a copy of every single story he had published. Ellison was first published as a teenager - two stories of his appeared in the Cleveland News in 1949 and he also sold scripts to EC Comics in the early 1950s. He moved to New York City in 1955 to pursue his writing career, primarily in science fiction. Over the next two years, he published more than one hundred short stories and articles. He married Charlotte Stein in 1956, but they divorced four years later. He said of the marriage, it was 'four years of Hell as sustained as the whine of a generator.' Ellison served in the army from 1957 to 1959, an experience which he found extremely distasteful. 'Being in the army is like being in prison,' he told the Gruniad in 2013. 'You are not your own person. You are constrained twenty four-seven. You are told what to do. They keep you in your place. You are not allowed to have an awful lot of self-respect, or pride of place, or pride of self.'
He continued to sell writings to magazines and, after moving to California in 1962, gained a job with Disney but was, hilariously, fired after one day when he was allegedly overheard - by Roy Disney himself - joking about making a porn movie with Disney characters. Ellison's 1965 story "Repent, Harlequin!" Said The Ticktockman” earned him his first Hugo and Nebula Awards, depicting a dystopian future in which time is strictly planned out: being late is a crime, the punishment for which is having time taken off one's life. Ellison would later threaten to sue New Regency and director Andrew Niccol over their 2011 film In Time, which he felt featured a similar premise, only to dismiss the action after he watched the film. 1968's I Have No Mouth & I Must Scream also earned him a Hugo, depicting an apocalyptic world in which machines wage war, kill off nearly all of humanity and torture the survivors with sadistic games. He adapted the story into a computer game in 1995. Ellison was also known for his work as an editor, publishing Dangerous Visions in 1967. Aided with a generous loan from Ringworld author Larry Niven, he assembled the landmark anthology, which included stories by some of the genre's best authors - Brian Aldiss, Philip K Dick, Theodore Sturgeon, Roger Zelazny, Samuel Delany and others. Dangerous Visions has been hailed as a defining touchstone of science-fiction's New Wave movement. He wrote the 1966 big screen drama The Oscar and sold scripts for episodes of TV shows including The Loretta Young Show (using the pseudonym Harlan Ellis), The Flying Nun, Route 66, Cimarron Strip, The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Outer Limits (two of the most remarkable episodes of the anthology series - Soldier and Demon With A Glass Hand). His Star Trek episode was a bone of contention, despite its reputation among fandom as one of - if not the - finest episode of the popular series when the show's creator Gene Roddenberry insisted on rewrites.
In 2009, Ellison sued CBS seeking revenue from merchandising related to the episode. The case was eventually settled out of court. Notoriously litigious in protecting his own work, Harlan was also involved in a lawsuit against Orion Pictures after claiming that The Terminator drew upon ideas from The Outer Limits episodes he wrote (most notably, the central concept of Soldier). This was also settled out of court and a credit to the movie was added acknowledging the influence of his work. The director James Cameron was, reportedly, outraged by this feeling that Ellison's claims had been nothing more than a 'nuisance suit.' Some years later, Ellison was asked what he thought of the movie by a reporter no doubt expecting a trademark tirade of abuse. Instead, Harlan said he thought it was 'very good.' He also filed a lawsuit against ABC and Paramount claiming that the TV series Future Cop was based on a story of his, winning over three hundred thousand smackers in the resulting judgement. 'I think any writer who gives away his work demeans himself, demeans the craft, demeans the art and demeans the buyer,' he said. 'It is not only caveat emptor, it is caveat lector. I don't mean to be crude when I say this, but I won't take a piss unless I'm paid properly.' His other works included the novels The Man With Nine Lives, Spider Kiss, The Starlost: Phoenix Without Ashes and All The Lies That Are My Life and the short story collections A Touch Of Infinity, Sex Gang, Gentleman Junkie & Other Stories Of The Hung-Up Generation, Love Ain't Nothing But Sex Misspelled, No Doors No Windows, Strange Wine, Shatterday, Stalking The Nightmare, Slippage, Rough Beasts and The Top Of The Volcano among many others.
      An erudite, voluble and often contrary man - for whom the term 'he didn't suffer fools gladly' could have been specifically designed - Ellison was a regular on talk-shows, the SF convention circuit, in DVD commentary and even pounding away on a typewriter as part of live events at bookstores, where he wrote new stories on the spot. He was known for a sometimes fierce temper and was perhaps as widely disliked as liked, even among some of his best friends. 'I go to bed angry and I get up angrier every morning,' he once famously said. Ellison had a reputation for being abrasive and argumentative though, self-deprecatingly, he broadly agreed with this assessment and played up to it - a dust jacket from one of his books described him as 'possibly the most contentious person on Earth.' Shortly after the release of Star Wars, Ben Roberts contacted Ellison to develop a movie script based on Isaac Asimov's I, Robot for Warner Bros. In a meeting with the Head of Production at Warners, Robert Shapiro, Ellison concluded - rightly - that Shapiro was commenting on the script without having actually read it and accused him of having 'the intellectual and cranial capacity of an artichoke.' There is a similar story about a meeting with Gene Roddenbury and a Paramount executive during the planning stages of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Ellison had outlined a story idea for the film, a brilliantly high-concept plot involving a snake-like alien race tampering with Earth's history which included the moral dilemma of the Enterprise crew agonising over whether to kill off the reptilians in Earth's prehistory simply to maintain humanity's dominance. The executive made a suggested addition involving the Mayans which Ellison found ludicrous. 'I'm a writer,' he reportedly said, 'I don't know what the fuck you are!' and he promptly flounced out of the room in high-dudgeon, ending his association with the project there and then. In 1985 Ellison allegedly assaulted the author and critic Charles Platt at a Nebula Awards banquet. Platt did not pursue legal action and the two men later signed 'a non-aggression pact,' promising never to discuss the incident again nor to have any contact with one another. Platt, however, claims that Ellison 'often publicly boasted' about the incident in later years. One of Ellison's best-known rants appeared as part of his biographical film Dreams With Sharp Teeth, in which he alleged that media companies will pay every professional in the chain of production for their work, but seem to expect free services from writers.
       Ellison once reportedly mailed over two hundred bricks to a publisher who was refusing to pay him for his work and also there is the much-told story of the time he sent a gopher which he had shot in his garden to another truculent publisher. The veracity of the story was confirmed to this blogger by the author Neil Gaiman, a close friend of Ellison, who said that he had actually met the unfortunate mailman who was fired by the publisher for delivering the dead gopher! 'As Spider-Man says: "With great power comes great responsibility,"' Ellison told Writer's Digest in 2004. 'In my case, with fearlessness comes great stupidity. I'm just not afraid of things. There's nothing anybody could do to me that would make me afraid.'
He was, however, someone who really cared about the things he felt mattered in life. In the 1960s and 1970s, Ellison championed opposition to the Viet'nam War and various other liberal causes. In 1965, he participated in the Selma-to-Montgomery marches led by Martin Luther King, of whom Ellison was a loyal supporter. The following year, in an article which Esquire magazine would later name as the best piece they had ever published, the journalist Gay Talese wrote Frank Sinatra Has A Cold which briefly described a clash between the young Ellison and Sinatra, when the singer reportedly 'took exception' to Ellison's boots during a pool game. Among Harlan's other notorious exploits were researching his first novel, Web Of The City (1958), by hanging out with a street gang in Brooklyn's Red Hook, covering race riots in Chicago in the 1950s with James Baldwin, ghosting the then-relatively unknown Lenny Bruce's column in the Playboy knock-off, Rogue, cultivating friendships with the likes of Steve McQueen and Peter Falk, taking martial arts lessons from Bruce Lee and attending a science-fiction convention in Phoenix in an RV and refusing, throughout his stay, to spend any money in the state of Arizona because its legislature hadn't voted to approve the Equal Rights Amendment. He also wrote frequently scabrous television criticism for the underground newspaper the Los Angeles Free Press in a column called The Glass Teat. In 2014 Ellison made a guest appearance on the CD Finding Love In Hell by the band Leaving Babylon, reading his piece The Silence (originally published in Mind Fields) as an introduction to the song 'Dead To Me'. Ellison on occasions used the pseudonym Cordwainer Bird to alert members of the public to situations in which he felt his creative contribution to a project had been mangled beyond repair by others, typically producers. The first such work to which he signed the name was The Price Of Doom, an episode of Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea. An episode of Burke's Law (Who Killed Alex Debbs?) credited to Ellison contains a character given the name, played by Sammy Davis, Jr. Harlan later acted as a conceptual consultant on Babylon Five and as creative consultant on the 1980s revival of The Twilight Zone. He was awarded four Writers Guild of America awards and the Silver Pen for Journalism. Ellison's life inspired the book A Lit Fuse: The Provocative Life Of Harlan Ellison and the documentary Dreams With Sharp Teeth, which featured interviews with the likes of Robin Williams and Neil Gaiman. In 1966, Ellison married his third wife, Lory Patrick. The marriage lasted only seven weeks. A decade later, he married Lori Horowitz. He was forty one and she was nineteen. He said of the marriage: 'I was desperately in love with her, but it was a stupid marriage on my part.' They were divorced after eight months. Ellison lived in later life in the San Fernando Valley with Susan, his fifth wife, whom he married in 1986. In 1994, he suffered a heart attack and was hospitalised for quadruple coronary artery bypass surgery. From 2010 ('the worst, the lowest point in my life'), he received treatment for clinical depression. Four years later Ellison suffered a stroke. Although his speech and cognition were unimpaired, he suffered paralysis on his right side, for which he spent several weeks in physical therapy before being released from the hospital. Despite his success - the Los Angeles Times said he should be considered 'the Twentieth-Century Lewis Carroll' - Ellison sometimes seemed open-minded about his own legacy. His afterword to The Essential Ellison, a 1987 collection of his writings, read simply: 'For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered.' He is survived by his fifth wife, Susan.

The BBC is, according to a report in The Hollywood Reporter, going to court in an effort to identify the individual or individuals responsible for posting a scene from the upcoming series of Doctor Who. And, presumably, punish them most harshly. Last week - as previously reported by this blog - a fifty three second clip from Jodie Whittaker's opening episode and two images of the actor were shared on Tapatalk and began circulating, widely, on the worldwide web. They disappeared reasonably quickly though, not before they had been sought out and viewed by many, many, many punters. The Beeb is, the report suggests, 'taking the leak seriously' and 'wants to answer the question' of who posted it. On Friday, the BBC requested a clerk at the California federal court to issue a subpoena to Tapatalk, a mobile community platform on where the clip appeared. The broadcaster is being represented by an attorney at Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton, which has carved out something of a niché for itself in recent years in tackling piracy and other nefarious shenanigans. A spokesman added that BBC Studios 'will strive to protect our programme-makers, audiences and licence fee payers from any breaches of security - ensuring Doctor Who fans enjoy the final and fully completed version of the episode when it premieres.' BBC Studios began an investigation as soon as it was made aware of the leak. The unfinished clip reportedly had temporary music and had not gone through the process which determines the final visual look of the scene. That may help investigators to identify the part of the production chain where the leak originated. So, someone is probably going to get their knackers jammed in a vice over that malarkey. Still, for what it's worth, it was a very good clip if you missed it. It also appears that a small number of individuals on a different online platform, Discord, which is often used by gaming communities, had seen and discussed the scene almost a week before it was leaked publicly. Some online fans have speculated that the BBC may have planned to show a finished version of the clip at the San Diego Comic-Con later this month. It is not the first time that Doctor Who material has appeared online earlier than planned. In 2014 BBC Worldwide apologised after scripts and footage from the series were accidentally placed on a publicly accessible server and viewed by just about everyone and their dog. And, in 2005, an individual from Canada who allegedly leaked the first episode of the revived drama - Rose - was extremely sacked following an investigation.
The Doctor Who Magazine these days is nowhere near as good as it used to be when the great Tom Spilsbury was editing it but, the new issue - available with week from all good newsagents. And some bad ones - looks quite good. It includes interviews with Wendy Padbury, Carole Ann Ford and Sophie Aldred.
Meanwhile, Titan Comics and BBC Studios have announced details of The Thirteenth Doctor's comic debut this autumn. Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor Vol. 0 - The Many Lives Of Doctor Who - a 'special primer edition,' will celebrate The Doctor's many lives and lead directly into Titan's Thirteenth Doctor comic series. This, despite the fact that the cover - which included John Hurt's War Doctor - clearly suggests that the BBC themselves regard Jodie Whittaker as the fourteenth Doctor. Or fifteenth, if you count Richard Hurndall. Or sixteenth, if you count David Bradley. Et cetera.
The latest edition of the From The Archive: A British Television Podcast, produced in association with Kaleidoscope, the non-profit organisation which recovers and stores classic television programmes, focuses on the new Doctor Who series twelve Blu-ray set. In this episode of From The Archive, this blogger's old mucker Greg Bakun takes a look at how a team led by Russell Minton decided to evolve the range to not only make it more appealing to fans but unleash the floodgates of archive material never made available to the public before now. Greg talks to Russell about his vision for these Blu-ray sets, Richard Bignell about the research and work that went into providing the archive material extras to this set which have never been available to fans before now and Derek Handley not only talks about the work that goes into the photo galleries but also the BBC Photographic Library and his work tracking down photos we have not seen before. The podcast also includes an interview with Stephen Cranford who was a close friend to Graham Strong who recently died. Graham gave fans the gift of high quality audio recordings to many missing Doctor Who episodes from the 1960s and the podcast pays tribute to Graham's legacy. The podcast can be found here. And, a jolly good listen it is too.
Good God, dear blog reader, the finale of The Bridge actually had a happy ending (or, as close as they were ever going to get to a happy ending in The Bridge, anyway). This blogger is not entirely sure how he feels about that; surprised, mainly! Most viewers seemed pleasantly surprised, let it be noted. Though, perhaps inevitably, some whinging clunk of no importance at the Torygraph couldn't resist having a damned good whinge.
A live-action version of the Halo computer game has been announced by US TV network Showtime. The adaptation of Microsoft's popular SF shooter franchise will be led by Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes director Rupert Wyatt and producer Kyle Killen. Showtime said the series, split into ten hour-long episodes, would 'dramatise an epic Twenty Sixth Century conflict' between humanity and the Covenant alien empire. Production will begin in 2019, with a premiere date yet to be announced. Showtime will produce the show in association with Microsoft, its 343 Industries studio and Steven Spielberg's Amblin Television. David Nevins, Showtime's CEO and president, described the project as its 'most ambitious series ever.' Originally launched in 2001, the Halo video game series - an exclusive on Microsoft's Xbox consoles - became one of the highest-grossing of all time. Players control iconic hero Master Chief as he battles numerous alien invasions. Following the release of Halo Five: Guardians in 2015, Microsoft announced lifetimes sales had surpassed five billion dollars with more than seventy million copies sold. The next instalment in the franchise, Halo Infinite, was announced at this year's E3 expo. Showtime's decision to commit to a TV adaptation of the game's universe follows numerous failed attempts to adapt Halo for the big and small screen. Ex Machina director Alex Garland produced an early draft of an ill-fated feature film project, to which Lord Of The Rings director Peter Jackson was attached. The project fell apart when director Neill Blomkamp - who replaced Jackson - chose to prioritise his 2009 debut District Nine. Microsoft later revealed plans to launch a TV series in 2013 as part of its Xbox Live original content drive. But the division was shut down before its release. Halo: Nightfall, a web series executive produced by Ridley Scott, arrived eventually but was cancelled after one series. Announcing the upcoming series, Nevins said fans would be 'thoroughly rewarded' for their patience. 'In the history of television, there simply has never been enough great science fiction,' he added. 'Kyle Killen's scripts are thrilling, expansive and provocative [and] Rupert Wyatt is a wonderful, world-building director. Their vision of Halo will enthral fans of the game while also drawing the uninitiated into a world of complex characters that populate this unique universe.'
Ofcom has received six hundred and fifty whinges over Sunday night's episode of Z-List Celebrity Love Island. The whinges were directly related to a scene where Dani Dyer was shown a misleading video of her 'boyfriend' Jack Fincham (no, me neither) rather than the fact that someone, somewhere thought this worthless pile of horse dung was worth inflicting on the public in the first place. A spokesman for Ofcom - a politically appointed quango, elected by no one - said: 'At this stage there have been six hundred and fifty complaints from last night's Love Island specifically relating to Dani being shown the video of Jack. These will be assessed against the broadcasting code before a decision is made whether or not to investigate.' Dyer, who has been paired up with Fincham since the beginning of the series, burst into tears as she watched the video of Fincham react with shock at seeing his ex, Ellie Jones, arrive. Although he did not give an overtly positive response to Jones's arrival or make any mention of any romantic intentions towards her, Dyer was visibly distressed. And this shite constitutes 'news' and 'entertainment', apparently. It's the Twenty First Century, dear blog reader, look upon our works, ye mighty, and despair.
Dani's - slightly more famous - dad has also been making the headlines this week. You might have noticed. Social media 'is still reeling' from the EastEnders actor Danny Dyer called the former Prime Minister, David Cameron, a 'twat' live on TV. And, for once, that doesn't mean a couple of dozen glakes you've never heard of on Twitter were talking about it, this was a shade more widespread than that. Now, the current PM Theresa May has, seemingly, defended Dyer's right to call Cameron 'a twat.' Speaking to the Independent, May's spokeswoman said: 'Much like columnists and others, people who appear on broadcast and newspapers are perfectly entitled to their opinion.' Dyer was appearing on the first edition of ITV's Good Evening Britain - an experimental attempt to cash in on the ratings after England and Belgium's World Cup game - and he went on a spectacular rant about Brexit. Hosts - oily and odious twat Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid - as well as guests Ed Balls, Jeremy Corbyn and Pamela Anderson were 'shocked and stunned into silence' (apparently) as Dyer went off on one. It was quite a sight. 'This whole Brexit thing ... who knows about Brexit? No-one's got a fucking clue what Brexit is,' Dyer suggested. 'You watch Question Time. No-one knows what it is! It's like this mad riddle that no-one knows what it is. So, what's happened to that twat David Cameron who brought it on? He can scuttle off, but he brought all of this on. Where is he? Is he in Europe with his trotters up?! Where is the geezer? He should be held accountable for it! Where?! Twat!'Testify, Dan! So there you go, dear blog reader, according to no less an authority than the Prime Minister's spokesperson, David Cameron is, indeed, officially a twat. Glad we got that on sorted out.
The Night Manager was one of the biggest TV success stories of recent years - this blog's programme of the year in 2016 for instance - and we've now had an update on the in-development follow-up. Starring Tom Hiddleston, Hugh Laurie and Olivia Colman, the BBC/AMC project - based on John Le Carré's novel - produced some gorgeous visuals alongside its high-stakes narrative, so how is that second series coming along? Spy novelist Charles Cumming is one of the four-strong team of writers developing the new episodes and he told Event magazine that we can expect more of the same when the show returns. 'All I am permitted to say is that le Carré has given his blessing to the project,' Cumming explained. 'The four of us in the writers' room are sworn to silence. Some characters that the audience know and love will be returning, others will not. The locations will be sumptuous, the plot as thrilling and as thematically complex as a le Carré story should be.' While not everyone made it out of the first series alive, it is exciting to hear that some old faces are set to make an appearance when the second series finally drops. Le Carré himself won't be dipping his toes into the second series, with the author maintaining the tradition of no sequels unless they're based on one of his novels. This means the four writers attached to The Night Manager 2 are crafting their own original spy tale. 'Our job is to write a season that's going to be even better than the first one, but also stay faithful to the tone of the world that was created by le Carré and to the characters,' Cumming added. 'We are all aware that the bar has been set very high in terms of audience expectations. The challenge facing us is to meet those expectations, hopefully even to surpass them.'
If you were somehow hoping Game Of Thrones' final series would be a happy camaraderie of men, women and dragons, Sophie Turner is here to dash your hopes into a thousand tiny fragments. The actress has assured us that the upcoming eighth series will be 'bloodier' than ever. 'I can tell you that there's definitely a coming together of people,' she told Gold Derby. 'Everyone is coming together to fight the impending doom. There's a lot of tension between these little groups, battling for what they think is right. It's Game Of Thrones, so it's going to be bloodier and more death and more emotionally torturous than all the years before!'
The Crown's second series concentrated largely on Prince Philip's roguishness and the strains on Elizabeth and Philip's marriage. Downton Abbey creator, hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty thinks that was 'a bit unfair' to the Duke of Edinburgh. As though anyone gives a toss what hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty thinks. About anything. While hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty praised the cast of the acclaimed Netflix series and writer Peter Morgan, he said he 'isn't comfortable dramatising people who are still alive.''It was beautifully acted, beautifully written,' hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty told Katie Couric in her podcast. 'For me, I'm not completely comfortable with dramatising people who are still alive and still living their lives. Because I think it's possible to be unfair. And in the second series, I didn't think it was fair to Prince Philip, to the Duke of Edinburgh, based on very little.' Hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty added that while the drama is 'more than deserving' of its success, the Duke doesn't deserve to have his personal life aired on TV, particularly after seventy years of public service. And racism. 'Now I'll be punished for that because it's a great success and it deserves to be,' hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty continued. When Couric asked hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty if he thinks The Crown stretches its artistic licence when it comes to its storylines and character portrayals, he replied: 'You're getting me into a tricky area here. I think that a lot of it was based on obviously very good research, but some of it was not. Some of it was extrapolation from a rumour or someone's rather prejudiced account. And then it was presented as fact. I'm not sure that's just.' Hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty then asserted: 'But I'm a big fan of Peter Morgan, I repeat that. I think he's the best writer on television at the moment. And it's deservedly successful as far as I'm concerned.' That was hateful old full-of-his-own-importance Tory Lord Snooty there on The Crown, a drama which is one thousand times more interesting than any old class-examining shite he's ever been involved in.
James Norton may be leaving Grantchester in the upcoming fourth series, but now we know his replacement. Tom Brittney is playing Will Davenport, Grantchester's new, young parish priest who 'channels his boundless energy into a quest for social justice' and whose 'own troubled past is unearthed,' according to ITV. 'I am beyond excited,' Brittney said about joining Wor Geet Canny Robson Green on the popular period crime drama. 'From the moment I heard about the role of Will Davenport, it was something I wanted more than anything. It's a real honour to be joining such a wonderful series, with such a loyal fanbase.' Norton added: 'As excited as I am to be filming a new series of Grantchester, it's also heartbreaking to be saying goodbye to Sidney Chambers. I've loved this experience, and particularly working with such an extraordinary cast and crew. All the best to the fantastic Tom Brittney in his new role as the new vicar. He is a wonderful addition to the Grantchester family.'
ITV has offered an intriguing first look at John Simm's Strangers, LGBTQ drama Butterfly and more of its new autumn dramas. The channel took full advantage of having the eyes of the nation on its broadcast of the England versus Belgium World Cup match on Thursday night to launch a trailer promoting its autumn programming slate. The trailer also showed off a few fleeting glimpses of Olivia Cooke and Suranne Jones in the big-budget TV adaptation of William Makepeace Thackeray's classic novel Vanity Fair. The TV version has been written by filmmaker Gwyneth Hughes. Also previewed were the crime thriller Dark Heart and the latest series of From The North favourite Unforgotten.
The BBC is reportedly 'in talks with Channel Four' to mount a five hundred million knicker bid to take control of UKTV, which broadcasts channels including Dave and Gold. UKTV has a mix of ten free-to-air and pay-TV channels as well as a free streaming service. It is fifty per cent controlled by BBC Worldwide, with the remaining stake owned by US media company Discovery. BBC Worldwide, the commercial arm of the BBC, wants control of UKTV because it is the biggest driver of its profits and source of funds it funnels back to the BBC each year. UKTV's profits have rocketed from twenty nine million knicker to more than ninety million quid in the past eight years. It pays fifty four million notes a year to BBC Worldwide for the rights to an extensive library of BBC shows from Top Gear, Qi and Would I Lie To You? to Dad's Army, Blackadder and Porridge. Much of the content on UKTV channels recycles BBC archives, but channels such as Dave and Yesterday have commissioned their own programming, including the - extremely shit - comedy panel show, Taskmaster and the much better but now, sadly, ended Dave Gorman's Modern Life Is Goodish. But, BBC Worldwide does not have the financial flexibility to buy out Discovery, which is understood to be a seller if the right deal can be reached and has been seeking a partner. Channel Four has about on hundred and ninety million knicker in cash reserves, including a seventy five million smackers revolving credit facility, which it could use as part of a strategic package toward a takeover of UKTV. It is understood - by the Gruniad Morning Star if not anyone more credible - that the state-owned broadcaster is also allowed, in some circumstances, to raise 'significant further funds from financial markets.' UKTV is also of huge strategic importance to Channel Four as it handles the two hundred and twenty five million quid-a-year TV advertising sales contract for the broadcaster. A tie-up would, at a stroke, provide Alex Mahon, Channel Four's new chief executive, with instant exposure to a new revenue stream in the pay-TV market. Channel Four is not allowed to own production companies, so it cannot follow rivals such as ITV in driving income from creating global TV hits and pressure from advertisers shifting spend to digital firms such as Google and Facebook continues to mount. Discovery, which owns broadcasters including Eurosport, inherited the five hundred million smackers stake in UKTV when it took over Scripps Networks in a nine billion knicker deal last year.
The publisher of the Daily Mirra, Sunday Mirra and Sunday People has topped up its fund for dealing with phone-hacking claims against its newspapers by an eye-watering seven-and-a-half million smackers, taking the total amount set aside to seventy million notes. Reach, the new name of the publicly listed company formerly known as Trinity Mirra, said on Friday that while it had 'continued to make progress,' fees for lawyers representing claimants were 'outstripping its estimates.' Which is, obviously, very sad although they might like to reflect on the notion that had they not illegally hacked people's phones in the first place, it would have been a lot less expensive for them. 'Whilst we continue to make progress on settling civil claims in relation to phone-hacking, the costs associated with settling these claims, predominantly the legal fees of the claimants' lawyers, are expected to be higher than previously estimated,' the company told investors in a stock market filing. 'Although there remains uncertainty as to how these matters will progress, the board remains confident that the exposures arising from these historical events are manageable and do not undermine the delivery of the group's strategy.' In October, lawyers representing the former TV presenter John Leslie, the actor Ralf Little and former Z-List Celebrity Big Brother type person Chantelle Houghton claimed in high court that the board of Reach and its legal team were 'aware' of hacking whilst it was happening and did nothing to stop it at the company's newspapers. Lawyers for Trinity Mirra told the court the evidence presented did not show that company executives or the legal team were aware of hacking. One or two people even believed them. Last summer, the company said it had settled more than eighty per cent of phone-hacking cases against it. Since 2015, Reach has faced a series of hacking claims from a, b, c and z-list celebrities and other public figures. Last April, the company settled with forty four people, including convicted perjurer Jeffrey Archer, Patsy Kensit, Denise Van Outen, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Kevin Keegan and the former Home Secretary Charles Clarke for undisclosed sums. Last May, a payout to Elizabeth Hurley is believed to have broken the record two hundred and sixty thousand smackers paid to Sadie Frost by the publisher in 2015, which at the time was thought to be the single largest privacy damage payout since the phone-hacking scandal broke in 2010. In November 2016, Reach paid out more than five hundred thousand quid to settle phone-hacking claims by twenty nine victims, including Les Dennis, Natasha Kaplinsky and EastEnders actor Steve McFadden. In December 2015, the Crown Prosecution Service said that no further action would be taken against companies and journalists accused of phone-hacking. The CPS said there was insufficient evidence to bring corporate charges against billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch's News UK and criminal cases against ten current and former employees on newspapers owned by Reach.
The Evening Standard has reported a loss of ten million knicker for last year to the end of September, as the cost of 'strategic investment' under new editor George Osborne pushed the London free daily newspaper deep into the red. Parent company ESI Media, which is controlled by the Russian oligarch Evgeny Lebedev, also reported that stablemate the Independent has almost doubled profits in its first full year as a digital-only publication. The company said that the Evening Standard's swing to a major loss was because it has embarked on a strategic investment programme to develop the brand, editorial product and advertising proposition. It made a £2.2m operating profit in 2016. In 2015, it made £3.3m. ESI Media said the investment phase included 'strong editorial innovation under former chancellor George Osborne,' who controversially took over as editor in May last year. Since his appointment, there has been a comprehensive redesign of the paper and the word 'London' has been dropped from the title to reflect greater national and international ambitions. The paper has also invested heavily in the event market, including a London food festival. However, the title, which has a circulation of almost nine hundred thousand, was also hit hard by the ongoing slump in the advertising market. As a freesheet, it does not have the benefit of additional income from sales of each copy, making it particularly vulnerable. 'We're investing significantly in the Evening Standard,' said Manish Malhotra, group managing director at ESI Media. 'Although the title has been subject to some broader issues that have impacted on all news brands, the brand is now enjoying strong digital growth and the emergence of a successful events business to complement the print title reinvigorated under George's editorship.' The Standard also took on costs as a result of the closure in 2016 of the print edition of stablemates the Independent and Independent on Sunday. Profits at the digital-only Independent increased ninety four per cent year-on-year to the end of September. ESI Media said that the figures were 'a validation of the difficult decision to close the print edition and demonstrates the viability of its online-only model.'
A man has been extremely arrested on suspicion of starting a moorland blaze on Winter Hill in Lancashire, close to a TV transmitter mast. Lancashire Fire and Rescue Service went to the moorland fire on the hill near Bolton on Thursday. A twenty two-year-old man from Bolton is being held as part of a joint investigation between the fire service and police. Greater Manchester Fire Service said that it was tackling a second fire in Bolton which broke out on Friday morning. Lancashire fire crews, who had been in a reserve role supporting colleagues in Greater Manchester dealing with a huge blaze near Saddleworth Moor, were moved to the Winter Hill fire on Thursday evening. Work on the Saddleworth fire, which spread across seven square miles, saw soldiers from A Company of the Fourth Battalion, Royal Regiment of Scotland, join firefighters. Eighteen fire engines remain at the scene on Winter Hill, including crews from Cumbria and Merseyside, alongside specialist wildlife units. About one hundred firefighters, who resumed their work at first light, are being assisted by mountain rescue officers and a helicopter from water firm United Utilities. The aircraft will be taking water from the nearby Rivington Reservoir to drop on the affected area. A fire service spokesman said that while there was 'no immediate risk' to livestock, domestic properties or infrastructure, people living nearby 'should keep windows and doors closed.'
Britain faces 'a summer invasion by Asian super-ants' known to 'chomp their way through electrical cables and spark fires.' And if a story with the screamed headline Fears Asian 'electric ants' could invade Britain after discovery of huge colony doesn't turn up as a plotline in the next series of Doctor Who then yer man Chris Chibnall needs his head examining! Pest controllers have reportedly discovered 'a rare colony of a million of the insects,' also known as fire ants, on two streets in Eastbourne. Paul Bates of Cleankill Pest Control, which is dealing with the infestation, said that it was the biggest colony he had ever seen. He told the Daily Scum Mail: 'It's the biggest infestation I've heard of in Britain - it stretches across two residential streets in Eastbourne and if it wasn't caught in time it could have spread exponentially. We are dealing with it at the moment, but would warn people to look out for them as they are attracted to electricity and can cause blackouts and fires.' The ants tend to gather around electricity cables or junction boxes and have been known to chew through cables causing fires in homes. The ants are hard to kill because they form huge colonies consisting of tens of thousands of inter-connected ants and have become resistant to treatments. The creatures first arrived in the UK in imported pot plants and the first colony was found in Gloucestershire in 2009. As this episode of Mock The Week proves. In 2014, a huge infestation of ants were found at a home in Hendon.
A man in Wisconsin was reportedly injured after a camera installed in his shoe exploded, local police say. The thirty two-year-old had installed the device to take illicit photographs of women under their skirts. Local police say that he handed himself in but was not charged because he had not taken any images or video before the camera battery exploded. Madison Police Chief Mike Koval wrote about the unusual incident on a blog published on Tuesday. 'When the explosion happened, he got treatment for minor burns, then disclosed what happened to his mentor, a clergyman,' Officer David Dexheimer told the Wisconsin State Journal newspaper. The man then reportedly handed himself into police reporting 'a sex offence.' On his blog record of the incident, Koval logged that the man had been 'counselled on his actions' and then released. Upskirting - the act of secretly filming or photographing someone under their clothing without permission - was signed into law as a felony offence in Wisconsin in 2015. The offence carries a maximum punishment of three-and-a-half years in The Big House.
Drone footage capturing off-road 'bike louts running amok' on an industrial estate has been released by police. Video of bikers speeding and 'pulling wheelies' at the Seven Stars business park in Coventry was shared by West Midlands Police. More than twenty people were very arrested at the scene and nine bikes, seven of which were stolen, were seized. The operation was prompted by a 'flood' of complaints from industrial estate staff and the public. The suspects will be questioned after the incident on 17 June and could be charged with public nuisance offences, police said. Inspector Andy Bridgewater said that some businesses are open twenty four hours and staff have been 'intimidated by the bike louts' who have 'caused issues' for work vehicles and deliveries. 'The drones give us a great vantage point from about four hundred feet and provides great quality footage which will help us secure convictions against offenders,' he said. Police said the bikers drive through Coventry while wearing face coverings or balaclavas, pulling stunts in the streets, riding on pavements, 'direct traffic as though they own the roads' and , generally, being a damned nuisance. On some weekends, the force said they have received up to sixty calls from people living in the area. The force's new drone capability has been funded by money recovered from criminals at court.
Morrissey has postponed his July UK and European tour due to 'logistical circumstances beyond our control,' his management claim. Or, more likely, due to the fact that the tickets weren't selling after even his biggest fans were put off by some of his recent, highly dubious, outbursts. The former Smiths frontman had been due to play five UK shows next month, beginning in Edinburgh on Wednesday, as well as gigs in Germany and Sweden. The tour was due to include two shows in his home town of Manchester. The announcement came less than a day after his manager attacked plans for an anti-racism protest event in the city. The Love Music Hate Racism night was organised by DJ Dave Haslam in response to contentious comments by the singer about religion and politics. Morrissey's manager, Peter Katsis, responded by saying: 'We are in the business of creating music and performing music. We are actually not in the business of politics.' Although, no one seems to have told Morrissey himself about that. However, the plans to perform music have now been put on hold until a South American tour in November and December. 'Due to logistical circumstances beyond our control, the UK/European Morrissey concerts scheduled for July will be postponed,' said a statement attributed to the management. 'We deeply regret any inconvenience to the fans and promise to reschedule UK and European dates as soon as possible.'
A notorious gangster is on the run after escaping by helicopter from a prison in the Paris region. Redoine Faid was helped by three heavily-armed men with assault rifles. Two gunmen in balaclavas used smoke bombs and angle-grinders to break into the visitors' room where Faid was talking to his brother. A third man in the prison courtyard guarded the helicopter and its pilot - a flying instructor whom the men had taken hostage. The helicopter flew to the nearby Gonesse area, where it was found by local police. Faid, a very naughty man indeed, had been serving a twenty five-year stretch for a failed armed blag during which a police officer was killed. This is the armed robber's second prison break: in 2013, he escaped after seizing four guards as human shields and blowing several doors off with dynamite. He staged that escape less than half-an-hour after arriving at a prison in Northern France and spent six weeks on the run before being recaptured. Nearly three thousand French fuzz have been drafted into the manhunt, an alleged police 'source' allegedly told AFP. 'Everything is being done to locate the fugitive,' an interior ministry official claimed. France's Justice Minister Nicole Belloubet, who travelled to the Sud-Francilien prison in Réau on Sunday evening, called it 'a spectacular escape. It was an extremely well-prepared commando unit that may have used drones to survey the area beforehand,' she said. The prison courtyard where the helicopter landed was the only area not protected by anti-aircraft netting. Prison union representative Martial Delabroye said that was because inmates do not use it, 'except to leave the prison.' Nobody was injured during the jailbreak. The captured pilot was released and, later, taken to hospital suffering from shock. Faid's accomplices had taken the flying instructor hostage at a small flying club in Fontenay-Trésigny, where he was waiting for a student and ordered him to fly to the prison. Faid initially got out of the helicopter and into a black Renault Megane which was seen heading for the A1 motorway. That getaway car was later found abandoned and burned out at a shopping centre car park in Aulnay-sous-Bois, a Paris suburb. Born in 1972, Faid grew up in a notoriously rough part of Paris. In the 1990s, he ran a gang involved in armed robbery and extortion in the French capital. He has said his lifestyle was inspired by Hollywood gangster films, including the Al Pacino thriller Scarface. He is devoted to US director Michael Mann's stylised crime thrillers, especially 1995 gangster film Heat. He once approached Mann at a Paris film festival and told him: 'You were my technical adviser.' Faid claimed to have watched the film 'dozens of times' to hone his skills as a bank robber. In 2009, Faid wrote a book about his experiences of growing up in Paris's crime-ridden suburbs and graduating into a life of law-breaking. He claimed to have turned his back on criminality, but a year later was involved in the botched robbery which earned him a prison stretch in Réau, in the Seine-et-Marne region. French police have nicknamed the gangster L'Écrivain - 'the writer' - in acknowledgement of his autobiography and subsequent media tour. One of Faid's most recent prison supervisors said he was 'never in conflict' with guards, but that 'we must always be wary. In the corner of his mind, he never lost the idea of escaping. Behind all his manners - he is very polite - he always hid his game,' the supervisor said. Faid's cycle of imprisonment and escape began with his arrest in 1998 on multiple counts of armed robbery and bank theft. In 2009 he was freed on parole, swearing that he was 'a changed man' - but by 2011, he had breached his terms of release and was back behind bars. Last year, Faid was sentenced to ten years' in The Pokey for his 2013 jailbreak from Séquedin prison, outside Lille. He was also given eighteen years for masterminding the 2010 robbery in which a young policewoman, Aurélie Fouquet, was killed. The fugitive is not the first to escape a French jail by helicopter. In 2001, three armed robbers fled a prison in Draguignan in Southern France, after an accomplice hijacked a helicopter from an airfield in nearby St Tropez. Two years later, inmates accused of running an international drugs ring escaped a remand centre near Aix-en-Provence by similar means.
Tempers flared in Australia over the weekend as retailers implemented a ban on single-use plastic bags. One customer reportedly grabbed a shop assistant by the throat, while another called staff 'money-grabbing scum.' The ban on single-use bags is part of a national push to reduce waste. Retailers in four of six Australian states now face fines for using them. More than sixty countries including the UK have now introduced bans or levies on single-use bags. The UN environment agency estimates that up to five trillion single-use bags are consumed worldwide each year. Australian chain Woolworths introduced a ban on the bags on 20 June, ahead of the 1 July deadline, offering reusable bags for fifteen cents instead. But customer 'bag rage' pushed the chain to reverse the policy and offer the reusable bags for free until 8 July. 'They just want a little extra help from us to get through the transition,' said Claire Peters, Woolworths managing director, in a statement. Another chain, Coles, said it would open every checkout lane on Sunday to reduce queue lengths and put on extra staff to explain the change to customers. 'We are taking a proactive step,' a Coles spokesperson said. A retail staff union urged customers to treat staff members with respect. 'While we understand that some customers may be frustrated by this change, there is absolutely no excuse for abusive or violent behaviour towards retail staff,' said Gerard Dwyer, national secretary of the Shop, Distributive and Allied Employees' Association. The union surveyed one hundred and thirty two of its members and said fifty seven reported suffering abuse over the ban. More than eight million tonnes of plastic ends up in the world's oceans each year, according to the UN, which has called for single-use bags to be eliminated completely by 2022. The main way that plastic gets into the seas is via the world's major rivers. Research suggests that ninety five per cent of plastic is transported in this way. Eight of these rivers are found in Asia. Most of the plastic comes from China, but Indonesia, the Philippines and Viet'nam also rank among major polluters. Consumer behaviour in developed countries including the UK, Europe and the US is also a major factor in pushing plastic into the world's waters. Last December, one hundred and ninety three countries committed to a UN plan to stop plastic waste entering the oceans. But the commitment is not legally binding and doesn't have a timetable and different countries have adopted different schemes. Around forty have banned single-use plastic bags, with charges or outright prohibitions in place in China, Bangladesh and about fifteen African countries. Other nations, including the UK, are moving to ban plastic straws and cotton buds.
The actress and playwright Helen Griffin has died at the age of fifty nine. Helen appeared in the 2006 Doctor Who episodes Rise Of The Cybermen and The Age Of Steel, playing Mrs Moore, who joined The Doctor, Rose and Mickey in the fight against Cybus. Helen was born in Swansea and initially studied to be a psychiatric nurse at nursing college alongside comedienne Jo Brand and was a psychiatric nurse until 1986, when her passion for acting took over. She is best known for playing the masseuse Lynette in the movie Twin Town, a 1997 dark crime comedy-drama film filmed and set in Swansea. Her first full-length play was Flesh & Blood, which she adapted into the screenplay for the film Little White Lies, in which she also starred, winning a Welsh BAFTA for her performance. Helen also appeared at The Edinburgh Fringe festival, alongside former colleague Jo Brand, in a collaborated play called Mental, based on their experiences as medical students. Other television appearances include The Sherman Plays, Mortimer's Law, A Mind To Kill, Prime Suspect, The Life & Times Of Vivienne Vyle, Casualty, Gavin & Stacey, Criminal Justice, Coronation Street and Going Forward. In a statement, her agent said that Helen 'died peacefully on Friday night surrounded by her loved ones. She was a beautiful, talented, funny, clever and an inspirational woman who is much loved and will be sorely missed by all who knew her.'Twin Town director Kevin Allen added: 'Helen was a fantastic actor and a terrific writer, she was deeply principled but approached everything she did with a twinkle in those gorgeous, sexy eyes of hers. She was an intuitive, unselfish and very clever actor. The Welsh film industry has lost someone very special and she will be so sorely missed.'
The artist Peter Firmin, who died this week aged eighty nine, was a pioneer and an icon of children's TV. The classic programmes that he made with Oliver Postgate - including Ivor The Engine, Bagpuss and Clangers - were beloved by generations of British viewers. The world they created during their thirty-year partnership involved a crude but innovative animation system. Characters were moved by magnets positioned under a table that acted as the set - in a studio established inside a disused cowshed at Firmin's farmhouse in Blean, near Canterbury. Postgate came up with programme ideas, wrote the scripts, directed and produced them and provided the narration whilst Firmin designed the characters - whether drawings, models or puppets - and the sets. Their first major success, Ivor The Engine (1959 to 1964), the story of a Welsh steam train that wanted to sing in a male-voice choir, was Firmin and Postgate's first series made by their own production company, Smallfilms. The thirty two black-and-white episodes commissioned by ITV were so popular that, a decade later, Ivor The Engine was revived by the BBC for forty colour films.
An even bigger hit was Bagpuss (1974), voted the most popular children's programme of all time in a 1999 BBC poll. It featured a pink-and-white-striped 'saggy, old, cloth cat, baggy and a bit loose at the seams' in thirteen episodes which were repeated regularly for the next decade and beyond - but one of the secrets of its success was the result of an error. 'I drew a picture of a marmalade cat,' Firmin told the journalist Richard Webber. 'I then asked a company in Kent to produce some marmalade-striped material, but a mistake with the chemicals left it pink!' The cat's owner, Emily (based on one of Firmin's daughters), collects objects for her 'shop,' Bagpuss & Co, but nothing is for sale. She puts them in the window alongside Bagpuss, who sleeps on a cushion until woken from his slumber by Emily's magic words, spoken entrancingly by Postgate at the start of each episode. One of Firmin's own favourites among the programmes he made with Postgate was Clangers (1969 to 1974), featuring small, pink, knitted, mouse-like creatures living on a blue moon, with neighbours including The Soup Dragon and The Froglets. It was the first of their productions to be made in colour. Firmin designed the characters and his wife, Joan (whom he married in 1952), knitted them. The series was revived three years ago, with Michael Palin narrating it in the UK and William Shatner in the US and with Firmin as executive producer and design consultant. Made in stop-motion, rather than the modern CGI, the new Clangers won a BAFTA award as the best pre-school animation. 'I hate CGI faces on humans because you look in the eyes and there's nothing there,' said Firmin. 'There's no soul.'
Without Postgate, Firmin had created the 1960s TV puppets Fred Barker and Ollie Beak, as well as the mischievous fox Basil Brush for Ivan Owen to operate and voice in the manner of the British actor Terry-Thomas in an ITV series, The Three Scampis (1962 to 1965). Basil returned in the magician David Nixon's series' Now For Nixon and The Nixon Line before beginning his own long-running BBC Saturday evening programme The Basil Brush Show in 1968.
Peter Arthur Firmin was born in Harwich in 1928, the son of Lewis, a railway telegrapher and Lila. On leaving school, he gained diplomas from Colchester School of Art (1947) and the Central School of Art and Design (1952) in London, either side of two years national service in the Navy. He then painted pictures of saints for the celebrated stained-glass artist Francis Spear. 'I've always had the fault of drawing people with heads that are too big for their bodies, looking slightly humorous,' Firmin recalled. 'Some of the saints in my stained-glass windows had rather large noses and funny faces.' After work designing posters in a London publicity studio, he went freelance as an illustrator for New Scientist and other magazines. In 1958, while teaching at Central, he met Postgate, who was working as a stage manager on children's programmes at the ITV London company Associated-Rediffusion and was looking for someone to draw the characters and backgrounds for his own creation, Alexander The Mouse (1958). This was followed by The Journey Of Master Ho (1958), the story of a Chinese boy and his buffalo - aimed at children with hearing difficulties - for which Firmin created a willow-pattern background. The pair's first series for the BBC, The Saga Of Noggin The Nog (1959 to 1965) was Firmin's idea, based on Norse legends after he had seen The Lewis Chessmen at the British Museum. It was later revived, in colour, in 1982. In 2016, in an interview with the BBC at the unveiling of an exhibition of his work, Firmin said of his relationship with Postgate: 'He wrote and imagined things and I brought them to life as pictures. We sometimes disagreed, but generally we agreed in the end as we had the same sort of taste and, also, we both rather liked the idea of stories where there was no aggression really and everyone was rather happy, gentle and content.' The duo's other early programmes included The Seal Of Neptune (1960), about sea horses in an undersea kingdom and Pingwings (1961 to 1965), featuring penguin characters in Firmin and Postgate's first series with stop-frame animated puppets rather than painted cards. The Pogles, made for the BBC's Watch With Mother strand in 1965, was deemed to be too frightening for pre-school children with its story of two countryfolk threatened by a witch and its six episodes were never repeated. However, the programme returned as Pogles' Wood (1966 to 1968), a more family-friendly version with a family living in the root of a tree and minus the witch. Postgate and Firmin's final series were Tottie: The Story Of A Dolls' House (1984), based on Rumer Godden's novel, with a sequel, Tottie: A Doll's Wish (1986) and Pinny's House (1986). They were jointly presented with the 2007 Action for Children's Arts JM Barrie Award 'for a lifetime's achievement in delighting children.' Postgate died the following year and Firmin received a special award at the 2014 BAFTA children's awards. In retirement, Firmin enjoyed engraving and print-making, skills he had learned at art school. He is survived by Joan and their six daughters - Charlotte, Hannah, Josephine, Katharine, Lucy and Emily.

The website for the agents Berlin Associates appears to confirm that their client Edel McDonnell will be editing this year's 'Christmas Special' of Doctor Who. Which is interesting since this would seem to be the first direct confirmation that there is actually going to be a 2018 Doctor Who Christmas episode. (Most people suspected that there probably would be but, thus far, actual details about the contents of series eleven have been remarkably few and far between. 'Leaks' notwithstanding.) Edel previously worked on last year's episodes The Empress Of Mars and The Lie Of The Land as well as the - extremely cancelled - spin-off Class in a CV which also includes Broadchurch, The Tunnel, Fearless and Moone Boy. The website also suggests that the episode will be directed by Wayne Yip.
The Sunreports that national heartthrob David Tennant will be one of the guests stars to appear with The Muppets at the O2 Arena in London later this month. David will reportedly perform in a Pigs In Space sketch. David's co-star in Voyage Of The Damned, yer actual Kylie Minogue, will also appear with The Muppets on Friday 13 July. These will be The Muppets first live shows ­outside the US. The Sun isn't clear about which shows David will appear at but The Muppets are performing at the O2 Arena at 8pm on Friday 13 July and at 2pm and at 8pm on Saturday 14 July. The comedian Kevin Bishop is also appearing and the band Steps (are they still going?) will perform on the Saturday night. So, that'll, obviously, be unmissable.
Meanwhile, here's a picture of David wearing his father-in-law's old Doctor Who costume. Which is both incredibly cool and also, more than slightly weird all at the same time.
Mind you, if you think that's more than slightly weird, what about a photo of Mister Pertwee - in the week of what would have been his ninety ninth birthday - shaking hands with That There Roy Wood out of The Wizzard Group?
Or, indeed, a photo of Mister Pertwee on stage with the late, great Keith Moon and odious little Communist Bill Oddie. Now that's proper more than slightly weird.
If you're wondering, these images come from a December 1973 Lou Reizner stage production of Tommy at The Rainbow Theatre in London. Mister Pertwee, of course, played the part of The Doctor - obviously - and sang 'Go To The Mirror' (the role was played by Jack Nicholson in Ken Russell's later movie adaptation). And, here's Mister Pertwee with another national treasure, the late Viv Stanshall from the same production.
This blogger wishes to draw your attention, dear blog reader, to a superb piece by Michael Seely at the always excellent We Are Cult website, When The Goodies Met Orson Welles about the unlikely collaboration between Welles and Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor in 1969 on a couple of, sadly unfinished, short films - most notably One Man Band.
And, speaking of The Goodies, the next time that anyone tries to convinced you that the BBC News website is not - tragically - becoming a victim of crass Twenty First Century 'dumbing down', please point them in the direction of this - not entirely uninteresting, let it be said - article, What happens if someone catches the Loch Ness Monster? Check out one of the images chosen to illustrate the piece. And the accompanying caption. This is 'news' for the Under Fives, presumably?
And now, dear blog reader ... Greatest! Picture! Ever!
For those struggling with the joke, this is a story from late last year which only came to this blogger's attention this week; a musical instrument shop in Brampton in Cumbria sadly suffered from an overnight visit by some extremely naughty tea-leaves who made off with forty grand's worth of gear. The local paper, the Cumbria News & Star reported the theft and the sub-editor used his creativity to reference the band Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark in the headline. Someone alerted the band's official Twitter site and OMD, at the time on tour in the UK and on their way North to a gig in Glasgow, made a quick detour to Carlisle and picked up a copy of the paper. Though, this blogger feels it's the fact that the great Andy McCluskey is also holding a packet of jelly babies and some caramel wafers (which, one presumes, he was about to buy and, subsequently, consume) that makes it art.
So, anyway, England are in the World Cup semi-finals for the first time since 1990. This blogger will just repeat that, dear blog reader, since he is also having difficulty in processing this information. England are in the World Cup semi-finals for the first time since 1990 - thanks to Harry Maguire and Dele Alli headers against Sweden on Saturday. Thus, if one Harry doesn't get you, another one, seemingly, will. The majority of the country who expressed an interest in these shenanigans, promptly went completely bloody mental! (As a side note, this blogger had, briefly, thought about popping into Th' Toon and watching the game in Times Square on one of the big screens. If these pictures are anything to go by, he's beyond glad he stayed at home to watch the game as the dry-cleaning bill might have been a bit prohibitive!) Gareth Southgate's side will now face Croatia on Wednesday in Moscow's Luzhniki Stadium for a place in next Sunday's final. Or, failing that, a place in Saturday's third/fourth place play-off. So, just to correct the frequently-voiced assertion that 'England's coming home' - not yet they're not. They're going to be in Moscow for at least another week. Maguire - who, like Jordan Henderson and Kieran Trippier, was magnificent throughout - rose highest to thump home Ashley Young's first-half cross, the eighth of England's ten goals at this World Cup to come from a set-piece. Alli was unmarked to turn home Jesse Lingard's cross against a limited, but hard-working Sweden in Samara. England's keeper Jordan Pickford pulled off three fantastic saves in the second-half to keep Sweden out - first turning away a Marcus Berg header, then producing a low stop from Viktor Claesson and finally tipping Berg's shot over the bar. The Three Lions reached the last four for only the third time in World Cup history. They beat Portugal at Wembley in 1966 and then, of course, went on to win their home tournament but lost to West Germany on penalties in 1990 - before seventeen of the current twenty three man squad were even born. Ah, Gazza's tears. Indelible image, isn't it? (Full details of the quarter finals and other assorted World Cup-related malarkey can be found, as usual, at Keith Telly Topping's World Cup Trivia Blog, the latest update being this one.)
Meanwhile, Great Moments of the World Cup. Number seven - David Baddiel and Frank Skinner open their latest royalty statement!
This blogger remains to be convinced that England will actually get to the World Cup final, much less win the damn thing (they have to get past a very tough Croatia side first, then worry about France or Belgium if that happens). But there would, undeniably, be a certain element of karma involved in the highly unlikely event that England were to win it. Given the circumstances of Russia being awarded the job of hosting the 2018 tournament in the first place in a FIFA process which was not so much bent as U-shaped and involving a criminally corrupt bunch of hypocritical gangsters and appeasers of dictators willing to get into bed with any old Vladimir if the bung was big enough. Just, you know, for a bit of context.
Shortly after England's victory, ITV News reported that 'thirty million people' had been watching the BBC's live coverage of the England versus Sweden match. One is not entirely sure where they got that particular figure from given that the overnights and the iPlayer streaming figures would not be available until the next day and the consolidated '+7' ratings for another week after that but ... it was probably fair to say that 'lots' of people were, indeed, watching these goings-on. One would hope that a decent majority of them also caught the 'ten series of Doctor Who on iPlayer'trailer at the end!
In actual fact, as expected, the ITV News'figure' (for which read 'total guess') was out by about ten million. England's decisive World Cup quarter-final victory over Sweden was watched by nearly twenty million viewers on BBC1, according to overnight figures - although that does not take into account the many thousands who were watching on pubs and on big screens at various events around the country. An average of 15.8 million watched the whole match and a peak audience of 19.9 million viewers were watching as the match ended. It was also live-streamed online by 3.8 million people, making it the BBC's highest online-viewed live programme ever (despite reports that demand had caused iPlayer to crash towards the end of the match). The broadcast received an eighty nine per cent share of the available TV audience. The figures were lower than the 23.6 million who tuned-in for England's penalty shootout with Colombia earlier this week although, that was an evening kick-off. Match Of The Day host - and, the last man to score in a World Cup semi-final for England - yer actual Gary Lineker said: 'Humongous figures again for England. Football's coming to homes everywhere.' Oh, very good, Gary. Saw what you did there! The last quarter-final - between Russia and Croatia - was seen by an overnight average audience of 7.8 million viewers on ITV. The match -which Croatia won on penalties after Russia dramatically equalised in extra time - had a peak audience of 13.7 million during the shootout.
According to some Middle Class hippy Communist louse of no importance at the Independent, 'BBC viewers castigate Martin Keown after he tells people reading books during World Cup match to "get a life."' Which, as usual when the words 'BBC viewers' are used in any report, actually means 'a couple of dozen sneering malcontents on social media.' Ah, professional offence-takers, what would we do without them? The BBC has not commented upon the 'inevitable social media storm' although if they did, one would very much hope such a response would include the words 'oh, grow-the-fuck-up.' Of course, the BBC would never say that as they are far too polite to suggest any such thing. But, this blogger isn't.
Wor Geet Canny Alan Shearer seems to be having a great time out in Russia with the BBC team, as this clip of him doing a bit of Lionel Ritchie at dinner - and subsequently posted online by his amused colleagues - proves!
After England secured their place in the World Cup semi-finals, it was safe to say that World Cup fever was sweeping the country. Some of it, perhaps, more than a touch over-enthusiastic. On Sunday morning, Andrew Marr - who is, of course, Scottish - paid his own subtle tribute to England manager Gareth Southgate by wearing a version of Southgate's now-trademark waistcoat to present The Andrew Marr Show.
Game Of Thrones' Sophie Turner has 'reflected' on a tattoo that had everyone thinking she had spoiled the ending of the popular adult fantasy drama. Last month, Sophie's new tattoo featuring a dire wolf and the words 'the pack survives' was revealed on Instagram, somehow leading fans to jump to the conclusion that she had revealed the remaining Starks all survive series eight. The actress quickly confirmed that this wasn't the case and the quote from the last series is 'just a moral I like to live by.' Now she has told the Digital Spy website that it probably 'wasn't the best idea' to reveal her tat in the first place. 'I remember, a few years ago, I dyed my hair blonde for another role that I was doing. Everyone thought I was a Targaryen all of a sudden. So, they've used a couple of the slightest things [to form fan theories]. But it's actually really exciting. It keeps the excitement going, and it keeps people guessing,' she explained. 'Game Of Thrones is all about theories. So the more we can conjure up, the better it is. The more exciting it makes it, the more unpredictable it makes it. But yeah, definitely that tattoo was probably not a good idea, because everyone thought that I'd given away the end. But I haven't. It's a quote from last season.'
Maisie Williams has become the latest cast member to leave Game Of Thrones behind as the actress revealed that she had wrapped filming on her scenes for the eighth and final series. Taking to Instagram to bid goodbye to the hit HBO show, Maisie shared a picture of some very bloody shoes. 'Goodbye Belfast, goodbye Arya, goodbye Game Of Thrones,' Williams captioned the post. 'What a joy I've had. Here's to the adventures to come.' She also accompanied the post with the captions 'last woman standing' and 'barely.'
'Everything begins and ends at exactly the right time and place.' There is a very good piece by the i's Sarah Hughes on the BBC's forthcoming six-part adaptation of Picnic At Hanging Rock. It begins with Sarah voicing what could have been exactly this blogger's own thoughts on hearing about the project: 'When the news first broke of a television remake of Picnic At Hanging Rock, my initial thought was why? Both Joan Lindsay's 1967 chiller of a novel and Peter Weir's haunting 1975 film are so perfect that revisiting the story of the mysterious disappearance of a group of Victorian schoolgirls on a Saint Valentine's Day picnic seemed redundant. How could any TV series, even one starring the reliably watchable Natalie Dormer, possibly complete with either Lindsay's unnerving original story, with its notoriously ambiguous ending (Lindsay's publisher famously told her to drop a final chapter attempting to explain the fate of the missing girls), or Weir's shimmering vision in which a dark and somehow central truth seems to hover perpetually just out of sight?' Having read the piece, however and seen the first trailer, this blogger is slightly more optimistic that the TV version - adapted into six episodes by Beatrix Christian - will be worthy of our attention. 'Where the film depicts the severe headmistress as a symbol of repression, her age and rigidity deliberately contrasted against the youthful vitality of the missing girls, in the TV series Dormer's Hester is not much older than her charges, making the struggle for power between her and the girls'de facto leader Miranda less about the battle between old world and the new and more about the position of women in Victorian times,' writes Hughes. 'The Canadian director Larysa Kondracki, who cut her television teeth on The Walking Dead and Better Call Saul, also ratchets up the horror elements, ensuring that the characters appear as much menaced by the landscape as entranced by it, while suggesting that there has always been something very wrong at Mrs Appleyard's school, an underlying unease that the fateful picnic brings swimming to the surface.' Okay, sold!
Speaking of remakes, following in the wake of Doctor Who, The Avengers and Blake's 7, ITV's classic 1960s espionage thriller Callan is the latest TV series to be revisited on audio by Big Finish. The series, created by one of this blogger's heroes the South Shields-born author James Mitchell, was originally broadcast from 1967 to 1972 and starred the late Edward Woodward as David Callan, an MI5 agent and assassin. Big Finish's new audio plays will revisit Callan's murky world, with The Crown actor Ben Miles replacing Woodward and From The North favourite Frank Skinner playing his informer the small-time thief Lonely, the role played in the original TV series by Russell Hunter. 'They're sort of a rebirth of the original,' says Miles. 'I remember the original Callan TV shows and the scripts we have now certainly ring very true. They sound very authentic. It's like they're lifted verbatim from a screenplay of an episode. Considering they're new stories based on the original characters, they ring incredibly true in terms of the tone, the characters, the language used, the terminology. It's very succinct, the dialogue's really sharp and it's really vivid. Afterwards, I can always sort of picture where the scenes took place, as if I've done a day's filming. It translates incredibly well to audio, I think. It's going to be really atmospheric.' Despite being recorded at the Big Finish studios over three days in December 2017, the first release - Callan: Volume One - aims to recapture the feel of the period in which the original TV episodes were produced. 'It's got that period feel, like Mad Men,' Frank Skinner said. 'I think there's been a distinct attempt to recapture that sort of "dirty 1960s drama" feel. I've been acting in black-and-white all day!' It's a particular atmosphere that the two leads think helps set this Callan apart from modern spy thrillers. 'It's very true to its era,' suggests Miles. 'It's about characters, it's not about very intricate plots, and there's no fantastical idea involved. It's kind of local espionage within quite a contained world, with quite a small set of characters. Those key characters are very well drawn, interesting, oddball, believable so it's quite refreshing in that sense.''It's got the feeling that there's always something dark and dodgy going on,' Skinner adds. 'And we don't know about it, 'cos we live in our lovely cloud cuckoo world. These blokes are the ones doing the dirty work.'
In Willow and Tara, Buffy The Vampire Slayer had a groundbreaking relationship for its time. Tara, played by Amber Benson, was introduced midway through the fourth series of the popular Telefantasy drama and became a hugely popular character with fans. After forty odd episodes on the show, however, she was extremely killed off towards the back-end of series six, shot by a stray bullet. The moment set up the 'Dark Willow' storyline which dominated the rest of that series. Marti Noxon, the executive producer for Buffy's final two seasons and currently behind Dietland and HBO's Sharp Objects adaptation, commented on Tara's death as well as the sixth series of Buffy generally, admitting that she has some regrets. 'There were parts of season six where I feel we went too far,' she told Vulture. 'We pushed into some categories that almost felt sadistic and that Buffy was volunteering for things that were beyond just "bad choices" and were almost irresponsible for the character. That may have to do with my own history! The personal, right? It's personal. And, I think that killing Tara was – in retrospect, of all the people, did she have to die?'
Three people have been charged with kidnapping an actress from the Halloween film series, along with another actor - holding the latter for ransom. Two men and one woman have been charged with seventeen felony counts, including kidnapping and assault with a firearm. They are accused of kidnapping the actor Joseph Capone and Daisy McCrackin - who appeared in 2002's Halloween: Resurrection - from the actress's Los Angeles home. Capone is alleged to have been held captive for thirty hours without food. According to information released by the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office, the drama began on 3 May 2017. The defendants - identified as Keith Andre Stewart, Johntae Jones and Amber Neal - are accused of going to McCrackin's home in South Los Angeles. There, Stewart allegedly struck Capone repeatedly with a firearm. The pair were then alleged to have been taken to Jones's home with black hoods over their heads. Official documents say that Capone was stripped naked and tied up in a bathtub, while McCrackin was driven to several banks, in her own car and told to provide at least ten thousand dollars for the release of her friend. According to the official news release, McCrackin was able to escape and alert police after being driven back to her home. Footage of one of the defendants being very arrested on Monday was captured on video and posted on Twitter. The defendants are expected to appear in court on 23 July for a pre-trial hearing. All three face life in prison if convicted. McCrackin also appeared in 2016 horror film She Rises and played the daughter of a murder victim in a 2003 episode of Cold Case.
A controversial overhaul of the EU's copyright law that sparked a fierce debate between Internet giants and content creators has been rejected. The proposed rules would have put more responsibility on websites to check for copyright infringements and forced platforms to pay for linking to news. A slew of high-profile musicians had backed the change, arguing that websites had 'exploited' their content. But opponents said that the rules would 'stifle Internet freedom and creativity.' The move was intended to bring the EU's copyright laws in line with the digital age, but led to protests from websites and much debate before it was rejected by a margin of three hundred and eighteen to two hundred and seventy eight in the European Parliament on Thursday. The proposed legislation - known as The Copyright Directive - was an attempt by the EU to modernise its copyright laws, but it contained two highly-contested parts. The first of these, Article Eleven, was intended to protect newspapers and other outlets from Internet giants like Google and Facebook using their material without payment. But it was branded 'a link tax' by opponents who feared that it 'could lead to problems' with sentence fragments being used to link to other news outlets (like this one, for instance). Article thirteen was the other controversial part. It put a greater responsibility on websites to enforce copyright laws and would have meant that any online platform which allowed users to post text, images, sounds or code would need a way to assess and filter content. The most common way to do this is by using an automated copyright system, but they are expensive. The one YouTube uses cost over fifty million knicker, so critics were worried that similar filters would need to be introduced to every website if Article thirteen became law. There were also concerns that these copyright filters could effectively ban things like memes and remixes which use some form of copyrighted material. The combined clout of Sir Paul McCartney, Annie Lennox, Placido Domingo and David Guetta wasn't enough to persuade MEPs to make sweeping changes to copyright law. They were among thirteen hundred musicians who urged politicians to enact a law forcing sites like YouTube and Facebook to use filters that would stop users illegally uploading their music. Musicians were being 'cheated' out of money, they argued, even though websites were making huge profits off their work. Critics said the laws would 'stifle creativity' - with Creative Commons chief Ryan Merkley observing that The Be-Atles (a popular beat combo for the 1960s, you might've heard of them) would have been prevented from performing cover versions under the proposed rules. In the end, MEPs decided the changes needed more debate and sent the proposals back to the Commission. The two sides will undoubtedly step up their campaigns in the meantime. Opponents of the Copyright Directive celebrated the news that MEPs had rejected it. Julia Reda, a Pirate Party MEP who had campaigned against the changes, tweeted: 'Great success: Your protests have worked! The European Parliament has sent the copyright law back to the drawing board.'Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales told the BBC that he hoped the music industry could find a way to compromise before the September debate. 'Don't think about filtering everything everyone uploads to the Internet. That's a pipe-dream but you are never going to get that,' he said. Instead, he added, they should 'look to renegotiating deals' with platforms such as YouTube to get 'fairer remuneration.'
Elvis Costello has revealed he was recently diagnosed with 'a small but very aggressive cancerous malignancy' and has cancelled tour dates while he recovers from the subsequent treatment. Writing on his website, the singer-songwriter said: 'Six weeks ago my specialist called me and said, "You should start playing the Lotto." He had rarely, if ever, seen such a small but very aggressive cancerous malignancy that could be defeated by a single surgery.' The message is the first time Costello has revealed he has cancer. He added: 'I was elated and relieved that our European summer tour could go ahead.' Having been told he would need three to four weeks of recovery, Costello began the tour and played a number of concerts across Europe. But, he has been advised to cancel the remaining dates by his doctor. 'The spirit has been more than willing but I have to now accept that it is going to take longer than I would have wished for me to recover my full strength,' Costello said, adding apologies to fans who bought tickets for the cancelled concerts, who are told they should go to 'point of purchase' for refunds. He alluded to the nature of his cancer - which is not specifically named - by addressing his male fans: 'Gentleman [sic], do talk to your friends - you'll find you are not alone - seek your doctor's advice if you are in doubt or when it is timely and act as swiftly as you may in these matters. It may save your life. Believe me, it is better than playing roulette.' Elvis is one of the UK's most celebrated songwriters - and a particular favourite of this blogger - starting out in the late 1970s by channelling the energy of punk into classic, melodic songcraft and going on to define the 'new wave' sound. As well as releasing twenty four solo LPs, he has collaborated with figures including Paul McCartney, Burt Bacharach, Allen Toussaint and hip-hop band The Roots. In his statement he also announced 'a magnificent new record of which we are truly proud,' recorded with his current band The Imposters and planned for release in October. His previous CD with the band was 2008's Momofuku and it will be Costello's first new music since his Roots collaboration, Wise Up Ghost, in 2013. Earlier this year, though, marked the first time versions of songs Costello recorded with Paul McCartney had been heard. These include demos they worked on for McCartney's 1989 solo LP Flowers In The Dirt, some of which Costello later recorded himself. 'In the continuity of Paul McCartney collaborators,' Costello said on their release, 'I'm the person that stands between Michael Jackson and Kanye West and Rihanna. You just didn't know that about me. And that's a pop fact with which you can probably win a bet.'
From the normally mild summer climes of Ireland, Scotland and Canada to the scorching Middle East to Southern California, numerous locations in the Northern Hemisphere have witnessed their hottest weather ever recorded over the past week. Large areas of heat pressure or heat domes scattered around the hemisphere led to the sweltering temperatures. The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reports the heat is to blame for at least fifty four deaths in Southern Quebec, mostly in and near Montreal, which endured exceptionally record high temperatures. In Northern Siberia, along the coast of the Arctic Ocean - where weather observations are scarce - model analyses showed temperatures soaring forty degrees above normal on 5 July, to over ninety degrees. 'It is absolutely incredible and really one of the most intense heat events I've ever seen for so far North,' wrote meteorologist Nick Humphrey. On Thursday, Africa may have witnessed its hottest temperature ever reliably measured. Ouargla in Algeria soared to 124.3 degrees (51.3 Celsius). If verified, it would surpass Africa's previous highest temperature measurement of 123.3 degrees (50.7 Celsius) set in July 1961, in Morocco. No single record, in isolation, can be attributed to global warming. But collectively, these heat records are consistent with the kind of extremes we expect to see increase in a warming world. Excessive heat has blow-torched the British Isles all week. The stifling heat caused roads and roofs to buckle, the Weather Channel reported and resulted in multiple all-time record highs. Not least, in this blogger's gaff.
A man had to be rescued by firefighters after he became stuck in melted tarmac. The unidentified twenty four-year-old dialled nine-nine-nine after his left leg sank 'thigh deep' into the road on a back lane in the Heaton area of Newcastle, leaving him unable to move. Fire officers had to dig around the chap - with a hammer and chisel - before they were able to ease out his trapped limb. They put his lack of injury to his foot or ankle down to him wearing 'his granddad's Doctor Martens.' A spokesman for the fire service blamed the current heatwave and said: 'During the good weather please be mindful things like this can happen - be more aware when you're walking around.' But Newcastle City Council insists that the hole was actually caused by 'a small existing void' and not the hot weather. 'We can confirm that the tarmac had not melted and no roads in the city have melted during the warm weather,' a spokesman said.
Melting bitumen has forced drivers in Australia - where, let's remember, it's supposed to be winter - to abandon their vehicles after the tyres became coated with tar. Up to fifty motorists may be entitled to compensation over the incident in Queensland on Tuesday, reports said. 'I have never seen anything like it and when the reports started coming through yesterday, it was just incredible,' local mayor Joe Paronella told the ABC. The incident has been blamed on 'a change in weather' - no shit? - and damage to the road after it was resealed last week. Local resident Deborah Stacey said 'big globs' of tar had stuck to vehicles, amid unseasonably hot weather which followed several cooler days and rain. 'We had a week of cracked windscreens then, as soon as the sun came out, it started sticking,' she told the Courier Mail. The tar meant tyres on several vehicles had to be replaced and it caused damage to bumper bars and panels.
A father reportedly died protecting his children in a rare polar bear attack in Canada's Northernmost territory of Nunavut. Aaron Gibbons was on Sentry Island, a popular fishing and hunting spot on the West coast of Hudson Bay, when he encountered the bear on 3 July. A relative said that he 'died a hero,' telling his daughters to run while he put himself between them and the bear. The children were unharmed, but Gibbons died in the attack. Another adult later shot and killed the bear. Dead. 'He was enjoying his day with his children,' Gibbons's uncle, Gordy Kidlapik, told Canadian media. 'They were surprised by a bear that had started to stalk or charge towards one of his children.' The father was unarmed at the time, police said, even though he would have had a rifle with him on the outing. One of the girls, who are described as primary school age, called for help through the boat's radio. 'We actually heard the call for help,' said Kidlapik. 'It was terrible to listen to.' Gibbons's death has shocked his hometown of Arviat, about six miles from the site of the attack, which has grown accustomed to seeing polar bears as they migrate North. 'It's really just incredibly sad,' said local lawmaker John Main on Canadian broadcaster CBC. 'We're a small community and when something like this happens, it affects the whole community.' With three hundred and eighty polar bear sightings in the hamlet in 2017, the predominantly Inuit community has become increasingly concerned for public safety. The number of polar bears in the Western Hudson Bay region remains stable at around eight hundred and forty, according to polar bear experts. However, they have noted a decline in the animals' body size and condition. Polar bear excursions hosted in the region have also removed the wild animal's fear of humans, Kidlapik alleged on Twitter, potentially resulting in more attacks on humans. The last death from a polar bear attack in Nunavut was in 2000, about one hundred and twenty miles up the coast from Arviat in Rankin Inlet, local authorities said.
From an incredibly sad and tragic 'death by wild animal' to another, far funnier and entirely deserved one. At least two suspected rhino poachers have been mauled to death and eaten by lions on a South African game reserve, officials say. Rangers discovered the remains of two, possibly three, people in a lion enclosure in the Sibuya reserve, near the town of Kenton-on-Sea. A high-powered rifle and an axe were also found. There has been a rise in poaching in Africa in recent years, to feed growing demand for rhino horn in parts of Asia. In China, Viet'nam and elsewhere, rhino horn is erroneously believed to have medicinal properties, even though it is made from the same material as human fingernails. Sibuya reserve owner Nick Fox said in a statement on the reserve's Facebook page that the suspected poachers entered the reserve late on Sunday night or early on Monday morning. 'They strayed into a pride of lions - it's a big pride so they didn't have too much time,' Fox told AFP news agency. 'We're not sure how many there were - there's not much left of them.''It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it,' added a spokeslion. An anti-poaching team arrived on the scene, where a hunting rifle with silencer, a long axe and wire-cutters - equipment generally used by rhino poachers - were also found. Several lions had to be tranquilised before the remains could be recovered, Fox added. So, a nice meal followed by some drugs. Sounds like a party at lion-central. Police have been patrolling the area in case any of the suspected poachers survived and we, you know, hiding for their lives. Nine rhinos were killed by poachers in Eastern Cape province, where the reserve is located, this year alone. More than seven thousand have been killed in South Africa in the past decade.
The longest total lunar eclipse of this century will be visible in India on 27 July. The celestial body will also be tinged with a reddish hue, a phenomenon popularly referred to as 'a blood Moon.' The eclipse would also be visible in parts of South America, much of Africa, the Middle East and Central Asia. The total lunar eclipse will last for one hour and forty three minutes while partial eclipses, which would precede and follow the total eclipse, would last more than an hour. During the 27 July total lunar eclipse, the Moon has to pass through the central part of the Earth's shadow.
Two Hells Angels bikers launched an attack on a man that was 'so ferocious his eyeballs ruptured,' a court heard. Matthew Barnes of Hastings and Oliver Wilkinson of Saint Leonards-on-Sea, both deny grievous bodily harm with intent. The Old Bailey was told that Christopher Harrison was extremely injured in the attack outside The Carlisle pub on Hastings seafront in February 2016. He was allegedly targeted because he did not want to join the bikers' club, jurors heard. Opening the case, prosecutor Nicholas Cooper said that Barnes was the president of the Sussex Hells Angels motorcycle club and Wilkinson was part of the club's 'support crew.' They had gathered at The Carlisle with 'other members and associates,' where 'a band' was playing. Harrison was also present and, although a biker, was not a member of the Hells Angels, the court was told. The jury heard that at about midnight on 20 February, Harrison was 'invited outside' by Wilkinson and was asked if he was interested in becoming a member of the Hells Angels. Harrison said: 'I don't want to know, I'm too old, I really don't want to know.' The prosecution said that Wilkinson then went away and returned with Barnes, who said: 'Why wouldn't you want to wear these colours?' The jury was told Harrison replied: 'But it's neutral territory, we get all sorts of colours through here and I'm just not interested.' Barnes is then alleged to have said: 'I hate black and white, all black and whites should die,' before head-butting Harrison so hard that his head hit the wall behind him. Cooper said that punches then 'started raining in' and 'they knocked [Harrison's] legs from behind the knees so he fell to the ground.' The court heard Harrison knew Barnes was standing in front of him and had attacked him first with the head-butt. 'Harrison knew that Oliver Wilkinson was stood to his left and that no-one else was stood there and that ferocious punch came from that direction,' Cooper said. The trial continues.
A flasher who 'disturbed female joggers' by running around naked has admitted indecent exposure, after being caught by the bobbies thanks to an empty sweet packet. The eighteen-year-old man hid on a stretch of paths near the River Wear in Durham city centre and 'preyed on lone women.' Dressed only in trainers, he would run alongside the women after spying on them from bushes. The man, who has not been named by police, will take part in 'a four-month intervention programme.' A dozen women reported seeing him near Durham Rowing Club and the Maiden Castle sports complex between 18 April and 18 June. The breakthrough came when an officer found an area on a disused railway bridge which the man used to spot his victims. An empty Haribo packet and a shop receipt discovered nearby allowed police to pinpoint the moment that the sweets had been bought and scour CCTV for an image of the suspect. The force then traced him to a city centre address, where he was pinched by the fuzz and, later, extremely admitted the offences. Sergeant Kay Howarth, of Durham City Police, described it as 'an unusual case' and said his behaviour must have been 'very alarming' for his victims.
A woman has been charged in New Hampshire for stealing a laptop from a hacker who was trying to scam people into picking up and shipping the illegally-purchased computer. According to Associated Press, citing police reports, Jennifer Wozmak answered an online 'job' to ship the computer overseas. After picking up the laptop she then, instead of shipping it, sent a stack of magazines overseas. Wozmak sold the computer to someone else. In March Wolfeboro Police were contacted by a business owner who said that a hacker had used their account to buy the computer. The police tracked down Wozmak, who has now been charged with theft. Police Chief Dean Rondeau told AP that the woman had 'no affiliation with the original scammer,' other than the advertisement.
A 'curious' thirteen-year-old boy has had a USB cable removed from his penis by doctors after he inserted it up his urethra and it knotted in his bladder. Well, this blogger doesn't know about you, dear blog reader, but Keith Telly Topping's eyes are now watering at the very thought. According to the Metro, if not a real newspaper, the teenager - whose name was not revealed - inserted the cable 'about twenty centimetres up his penis' before realising he could not pull it out again. His parents took him to a local hospital in the county of Linkou in China's Heilongjiang province, where medics 'applied lubrication' in a bid to pull the cable out. That proved unsuccessful and left the boy in intense pain, so he was transferred to the Harbin Children's Hospital the next day. Doctor Xu Liyan, the facility's resident urologist, said: 'He cut off one end of the cable and inserted it into his urethra.' She added: 'The cable reached his bladder, where it tangled and ended up in a knot, so when he tried to pull it back out, it became stuck.' Doctor Xu added that she had 'no choice but to operate' on the boy. They cut into his bladder to find the knotted cable, snipped the tangled section and removed the remaining cord through his urethra the same way it went in. The boy claimed he was 'curious' about his genitalia and was discharged from hospital two weeks after surgery.

As previously predicted - by just about everyone - Doctor Who fans in the UK will get their first (ahem, legal) chance to see yer actual Jodie Whittaker in action on Sunday. 'Teaser footage' promoting the next series of the popular long-running family SF drama will be broadcast during the BBC's half-time coverage of the World Cup final (no doubt, introduced with a trademark cheeky-chappy grin by Gary Lineker his very self). And, even though England are not playing in the final - you might have heard - it is still expected that the final between France and Croatia will attract viewing figures well in excess of ten million. Sunday's footage will come almost exactly a year after Jodie was first revealed to be replacing yer actual Peter Capaldi as The Doctor during the Wimbledon 2017 men's singles final. Jodie's companions on the new series will be played by That There Bradley Walsh, Tosin Cole and Mandip Gill. You knew all that, right? In an interview published this week with US magazine Entertainment Weekly - which includes several 'exclusive' on-set photos, Jodie said that the new series will be 'hopeful and fizzing with wonder.' Which all sounds immensely marvellous. Next Thursday Jodie, Cole and Gill will also be appearing at Comic-Con in San Diego where more details about the series are expected to be revealed. Earlier this month, BBC Studios took legal action in the US after a short clip of the Whittaker's first episode was naughtily leaked online.
Mandip Gill has claimed that the new Doctor has 'a similar energy' to Matt Smith's Doctor. Mandip, who plays one of The Doctor's new companions, Yasmin, compared Jodie's Doctor to Smudger's in that interview with Entertainment Weekly. 'She has a similar energy to Matt Smith's Doctor,' said Gill. 'Very high energy. Jodie has that about her Doctor.' Showrunner Chris Chibnall echoed Gill's sentiments, describing Jodie's Doctor as 'incredibly lively. She's funny, she's warm, she's inclusive, she's energetic,' said Chibnall. 'She's the greatest friend you'd ever want to have as your guide around the universe.' Jodie told the publication that her incarnation 'speak[s] at a hundred miles an hour' and described the popular long-running family SF drama as 'hopeful and fizzing with wonder.'
The next issue of Radio Times looks like it might also be worth a punt.
Official Doctor Who merchandise has been unveiled this week. The range includes action figures which vary from the more-or-less realistic to the stylised, with Funko Pop, Funko 'Rock Candy', Titan and Titan Kawaii ranges of figurines available from next week. No, me neither. However, perhaps the most enticing items on offer for cosplay fans is the chance to replicate The Doctor's new costume, with US company Her Universe debuting Jodie's rainbow striped top, long coat and blue pants at San Diego Comic-con next week and selling them at Hot Topic stores after that. The costume will also be available for UK fans - you know, in the country that actually makes the bloody show in the first place - from 'a different source' which, seemingly, will be announced in due course.
Welcome to the club, Jodie. You have some illustrious predecessors. And Colin Baker, obviously.
With President - and hairdo - Rump inflicting himself on the UK this week, it appears that he has brought over with him some, ahem, interesting fellow-travellers.
And, after that bombshell, here's a picture of a Cyberman smokin' a fag. They're very bad for you, pal. Albeit, not as lethal as gold-tipped in your particular case.
A peak audience of twenty six-and-a-half million punters watched England play pretty well but still go out of the World Cup on ITV, according to initial overnight figures. That made the climax of the semi-final the most-watched five minutes of British TV since the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony. Wednesday's audience peaked between 9.30pm and 9.35pm just as England tried - unsuccessfully - to find an equaliser at the end of extra time against Croatia. The overall TV match average for the semi-final was 24.3 million, though that does not take into account the thousands of people watching in pubs or on outdoor big screens at events around the country. ITV said there were also a record 4.3 million requests to watch it online on ITV Hub. About eight per cent of viewers watching TV in the UK at the time were tuned into the game. Hopefully, the rest were watching Picnic At Hanging Rock (see below). The ratings reflected the huge interest in England's first World Cup semi-final since 1990. The previous highest audience during this World Cup was 23.6 million for the climax of England's penalty shootout win over Colombia in the second round, also on ITV.
Mind you, dear blog reader, ITV's coverage was - as usual - woeful. At one point during the match, Glenn Hoddle told twenty odd million viewers: 'He [Harry Kane] was at a cute angle.' What, as opposed to an ugly one, Glenn? Jeez, a paving slab in Preston would be more use as an alleged 'expert' than that plank. Meanwhile, back in the studio, Lee Dixon added that Kieran Trippier 'Never fails to disappoint with his free-kicks.' Except for the one he scored with, obviously. And, then there was The Curiously Orange Roy Keane with a face as sour as eight-day-old milk as well as having, seemingly, been tangoed. Keane, let it be noted, has gone through his Mahmoud Ahmadinejad-lookalike phase and emerged with his face-like-a-slapped-arse demeanour still in tact. Which is an achievement. Of sorts. One thing in his favour, however, was that he appeared to be on the verge of sticking one-on Ian Wright at one point. Now that would've been worth watching.
This blogger thinks that he was probably about eighteen when he first encountered Peter Weir's Picnic At Hanging Rock - the first UK TV showing of the 1975 movie about the disappearance of a trio of Australian schoolgirls in 1900 was on BBC2 in January 1982. It was an eerie, mesmerising, dreamlike, beautiful and almost indescribable experience and, it was clear to Keith Telly Topping even then, that this was not merely a very good film but, in fact, a cinematic masterpiece. Soon afterwards, this blogger found a copy of Joan Lindsay's 1967 source novel in his local library. That, too, was a mind-blowing discovery with its staggeringly descriptive language, hidden sense of menace and jaw-droppingly quotable dialogue - most notably two of this blogger's favourite lines in any text: 'Everything begins and ends at exactly the right time and place' and the paraphrase of Poe: 'What we see, or what we seem, are but a dream ... within a dream.' Both the novel and the movie are texts that this blogger has returned to, regularly, over the decades since. So, as mentioned in a previous bloggerisationism update, when this blogger first heard that a six-part TV adaptation of Picnic At Hanging Rock was planned - produced by Fremantle Media for broadcast on Showtime in Australia, Amazon Video in the US and BBC2 in the UK - Keith Telly Topping was, frankly, nervous. Thankfully, the first episode of the adaptation, written by Beatrix Christian and Alice Addison, starring Natalie Dormer and broadcast on Wednesday (starting just as England's semi-final was reaching its climax) was much better than one had feared. Much, much better. Positive review of the opening episode can be read here, here, here, here and here.
It has been reported that last Friday was, officially, the final day of shooting on the eighth - and last - series of Game Of Thrones and that the production wrap party took place on Sunday. Well, that was fun whilst it lasted.
Game Of Thrones leads the nominations at this year's EMMY Awards, after being ineligible in 2017. The HBO series has twenty two nominations in total, followed by SF drama Westworld and comedy show Saturday Night Live, both with twenty one. It is the first time in eighteen years that HBO did not have the highest number of EMMY nominations. Netflix leads with a total of one hundred and twelve nominations, beating HBO, which received one hundred and eight. In 2017, The Handmaid's Tale became the first show from a streaming platform to receive the award for best drama. This year several actresses from the dystopian drama have received nominations, including Elisabeth Moss and Alexis Bledel. British actors have also received nominations. Millie Bobby Brown is up for the best supporting actress award for her performance in Netflix's Stranger Things. Black Panther star Letitia Wright is nominated for the Black Museum episode of Black Mirror. Claire Foy, from HBO's royal drama The Crown, is nominated for the best actress award alongside her cast-mates Matt Smith and Vanessa Kirby, who were nominated for the best supporting actor and best supporting actress awards. Benedict Cumberbatch is nominated for Patrick Melrose. The Late Late Show With That Odious Thing James Corden is nominated for the 'outstanding variety talk show' award. But, hopefully, it won't win. Because it's shit.
Perhaps the biggest surprise of the EMMY list was what wasn't on it. Twin Peaks: The Return for instance received ... nothing. Not a sausage. Bugger all. Despite it being, by a distance, the best thing on TV last year and a huge critical hit (if not a commercial one). However, the series' co-creator seemingly isn't too bothered. Mark Frost responded to Twin Peaks' lack of recognition, likening external validation to 'a Popsicle.''Thanks for all your kind messages, friends,' he wrote. 'External validation is a Popsicle - fun, tastes good, melts quickly - but don't waste your time chasing the ice cream truck. Life happens elsewhere.'
Friday was a big day for awards nominations with The Crown, Peaky Blinders and The Handmaid's Tale going head-to-head against German series Babylon Berlin in the Rose D'Or awards.
You may think playing a hardened detective investigating emotional cold cases might be more challenging than the role of a high-flying lawyer, but From The North favourite Nicola Walker has revealed the reason why it's sometimes so much easier. It's mainly down to the maintenance that The Split's powerful divorce lawyer Hannah Sterne requires. The actress - who is reprising her role as Cassie in the third series of ITV's critically acclaimed Unforgotten - also said that it was too hard to pick a favourite or compare such dissimilar characters, telling the Digital Spy website: 'It's totally different playing a lawyer and a detective. It was really lovely to get back to Cassie. My make-up call as Cassie on Unforgotten is forty five minutes and on The Split it's considerably longer. They have to do your hair and your make-up. On Unforgotten, I'm in and out and I don't have to worry about how I sit for the whole day so as not to crease the clothes. [For Cassie] I can go into my trailer at lunch time and curl up and it's fine because she's quite ruffled. It's a lot easier to wear Cassie's clothes.' Cassie and Sanjeev Bhaskar's Sunny return in series three to investigate the murder of a teenage girl who went missing at the turn of the millennium after her body is discovered at a building site off the M1 motorway. Four close male friends are placed under the spotlight and their relationships are tested to the limit. 'This year, it's one of those iconic cases – a girl on the front page of the papers that stays with you,' Nicola continued. 'It affected a community completely. Chris Lang provides a really good sense of what we all think about - online trolling and how people really feel when police have done a bad job.' As for Cassie's fraught personal life, it could be looking up for Cassie finally, as the actress also disclosed that her character meets someone while working on the murder case. Sadly it's not co-worker Sunny, although Nicola admitted that she would love that to happen. '[Cassie] does meet someone this series… But she has this massive case on, so that becomes quiet complicated,' she said. 'Because of the case she does meet someone and they go out for the evening. That was really strange to have her out at dinner having a nice time. We were all slightly hysterical that day because we're not used to seeing her in that environment. But yes, she has a date with somebody.' Although she wants a Sunny romance - they came close in the last series - she also thinks it would be a terrible idea. 'I think they should get together,' Nicola went on, 'but the writer doesn't. I don't know what Sanjeev thinks. Absolutely it would ruin it, there's no way, it's not that kind of story. They really love each other but not in that way, not like that. So probably it would be a terrible idea. It's an unusual relationship, proper friendship and you don't see that between men and women in TV very much.'
There was an hilarious bit of abject nonsensepublished in the Metro earlier this week about Mel B's widely reported tax problems in which the author - the legend that never was Andrei Harmsworth - cites a report on The Blast website (no, me neither) which states that Mel's one hundred and eighty eight grand-per-week salary is being 'garnished'. This blogger thinks that what they actually meant was 'garnisheed'. One is a legal term in which a person's bank can be ordered to withhold a portion of the person's income to pay off debts to the third party; the other is sprinkling something nice on top of food to make it look and taste better. Keith Telly Topping will leave it up you, dear blog reader, as to which, you think, is which.
Monday was a very odd day, dear blog reader - you might have noticed. First Dave Davies quit The Kinks - to be replaced by Rab C Nesbitt, seemingly. Then Ginger Baker left Cream and then, apparently, Brian Johnson quit AC/DC. Thus, this blogger has the following - very important - announcement to make ...
Then, the following article appeared on the BBC News website. Which, falls squarely into the 'Fair comment' column, this blogger would've said.
And then, on Tuesday ...
On a somewhat related subject, does anyone think Mister May could possibly look any less enthusiastic when he found out whom Thursday night's dinner guests at Downing Street were to be?
Though, the biggest revelation in all this is how unaware most people previously were that Mrs May is, seemingly, married to Wally Batty from Last Of The Summer Wine.
President - and hairdo - Rump kicked-off his European trip this week in memorable fashion, telling NATO members to spend more on defence and accusing Germany of being 'totally controlled by Russia' during the NATO summit in Brussels on Wednesday. That evening, on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert had some fun with Rump's assertion that Germany was 'totally controlled by Russia' because it draws over one-third of its gas from the country, an idea which drew criticism from German chancellor Angela Merkel. 'I'll tell you who had sex with a porn star, Angela Merkel. Oh, Angela loves to get spanked with a rolled-up Der Spiegel,' Colbert said, referring to Stormy Daniel's allegations that she had a sexual relationship with Rump and that she spanked him with a magazine with his face on it. The point of the monologue was to show hypocrisy in Rump's accusation, given that the president - and hairdo - has expressed 'admiration' for Russian president The Butcher of Grozny. 'We should have seen all this coming because right before he left on the trip, Trump talked about his three stops. Guess which one he was most excited about?' Colbert then played a clip of Rump speaking about his tour to the NATO summit, the UK and to meet Putin in Helsinki, in which the president - and hairdo - said that the Putin meeting 'may be the easiest of them all.'
'My American friends are asking me about President Trumps's observation that the British "like him",' John Cleese told his Facebook followers on Friday. 'I regret this is quite unfounded. The explanation for this canard is that Trump is "pronoid." Pronoid is the opposite of paranoid. A paranoid person thinks, without any basis in reality, that everybody is out to get them. A pronoid person is someone who thinks, without any basis in reality, that everybody likes them. The fact is that the British loathe Donald Trump. This is because he is the polar opposite of a "Gentleman," who has qualities the British admire. A fine example is Gareth Southgate. To the British, a "Gentleman" is a man who is modest, well-mannered, self deprecating, quietly intelligent, considerate of other people's feeling and well-informed. He is not vulgar, inflated, vain, boastful, noisily ignorant, sleazy and common as muck. I hope this clears up any confusion.' Yeah, that seems to pretty much clarify the situation, John. Thanks for that.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon is returning to TV for a new series. The writer/director has recently been dipping his toes back into the medium by producing Freeform's detective series Pippa Smith: Grown-Up Detective, after taking a lengthy sabbatical into the film world for The Avengers and Justice League. On Friday, HBO announced that it had signed Whedon to write, produce, direct and serve as showrunner of The Nevers, 'a science fiction series set in the Victorian era.'The Nevers are 'a gang of Victorian women who find themselves with unusual abilities, relentless enemies and a mission that might change the world,' according to a description released by HBO. Whedon announced the show in a typically-witty statement: 'I honestly couldn't be more excited. The Nevers is maybe the most ambitious narrative I've created and I can't imagine a better home for it than HBO. Not only are they the masters of cinematic long-form, but their instant understanding of my odd, intimate epic was as emotional as it was incisive. It's been too long since I created an entirely new fictional world and the HBO team offer not just scope and experience, not just "prestige", but a passionate collaboration. I could go on, but – I'm impatiently grateful to say – I have work to do.' HBO seems equally excited about the collaboration, with programming president Casey Bloys praising Whedon as both 'incredibly talented and prolific. We look forward to meeting the strange, multifaceted characters of The Nevers, to learn their stories, see them in action and share them with our viewers,' the HBO executive added. 'We're honoured that Joss chose HBO as the place to build his ambitious new world and we are excited to get started.'
Tamara Lawrance and Hayley Atwell will lead an all-star cast in the BBC's adaptation of the acclaimed Long Song. Andrea Levy's novel, which won the Walter Scott Prize for historical fiction, sheds light on Britain's history of slavery during colonial rule in Jamaica. It will be directed by Mahalia Belo. The three-part series takes place during the dying days of slavery in the Nineteenth century, on a plantation run by the cunning Caroline Mortimer (Atwell) and tended to by her resolute young slave July (Lawrance). Both of their worlds are turned upside down when a new overseer named Robert Goodwin (Jack Lowden) arrives intent on revolutionising the way the plantation is run. A synopsis says: 'During a time of social unrest and turmoil, this powerful story is told from July's perspective as she looks back over her life; the tone is funny, defiant and indomitable. It's a story about the injustices that humans inflict upon each other and the unexpected ways in which people's humanity sometimes overrules their prejudices.' The larger cast will also include Lenny Henry (who was last, briefly, funny in 1983), Sharon Duncan-Brewster, Ayesha Antoine and Ansu Kabia. Sounds terrific. Apart from Lenny Henry, obviously. 'Every day at work is enlightening. A real blessing to be amongst this cast and crew, playing a character as subversive as July,' Tamara Lawrance said. 'She relishes mutiny with wit and courage; finding ways to win in spite of her circumstances. She also rings true to Jamaica's national heroes - Nanny, Paul Bogle and Sam Sharpe - who, by standing up for their own humanity, shifted world history. I believe stories like these illuminate the legacy of slavery in relation to where we are today. It's all still relevant!' Hayley Atwell added: 'I am delighted to be part of this beautiful story written with warmth, sensitivity, humour and intelligence by Andrea Levy. Playing the deeply-flawed Caroline Mortimer is a thrilling challenge and entirely new territory for me as an actor. Audiences will fall in love with the story's remarkable heroine, July, who endures on-going abuses of power with dignity and poise, surviving injustices that were devastatingly prevalent during this time and place in history. It is a story that demands to be told.'
The much-anticipated Snowpiercer TV pilot seems to have found a new director a few weeks after Scott Derrickson's exit. The director announced his departure last month, citing 'a radically different vision' to his on the part of the showrunner. However, it's now being reported that Doctor Who and Black Mirror director James Hawes is joining the project as director and co-executive producer, according to Variety. Derrickson originally said that he would not return for re-shoots after citing 'differences' with new showrunner Graeme Manson, who himself took over from Josh Friedman following his departure in January.
EastEnders' Bonnie Langford is leaving the soap after three years of playing the role of Carmel Kazemi. The actress's final scenes are due to be broadcast in the autumn, but it is thought that the door will be left open for Carmel to return at a later stage. Carmel's exit story will tie in with the show's ongoing knife crime story, which saw her teenage son, Shakil, killed in a fatal stabbing in May.
For the first time ever in the UK, Qi, came to the stage this week (a stage version featuring Stephen Fry has, previously, been performed in Australia). The stage version took place at the Latitude Festival with guests, including Rachel Parris, Lou Sanders and Marcus Brigstocke alongside Alan Davies and Sandy Toksvig. And, you can read a review of the show here, written by Simon Topping (as far as this blogger is aware, no relation).
Sacha Baron Cohen is to return to TV with a new satirical comedy series that will begin next week on Channel Four in the UK and Showtime in the US. The comedian has been 'secretly filming' the seven episodes for a year. The show, which premieres on Showtime on Sunday, marks Cohen's first full series for TV since Da Ali G Show in 2004. Showtime said that Who Is America?'will explore the diverse individuals across the political and cultural spectrum' in the US. The network promises that it will show the comedian 'as you've never seen him before.' So ... funny, perhaps? The series will begin in the UK on Channel Four on Monday.
Television and radio presenter Richard Bacon is in a medically-induced coma after becoming critically ill with suspected pneumonia. He was taken to hospital eight days ago after becoming unwell on a flight to Britain from the United States. The former Blue Peter and 5Live presenter had been well enough to post photos of himself on social media. But his sister confirmed that his condition had worsened and he has had to have a tracheotomy to help him breathe. Bacon started his career on BBC Radio Nottingham before going on to present on national television and radio including The Big Breakfast, Top Of The Pops and his own show on BBC 6Music. He then broke into the US media scene where he has a show on FOX TV. He now lives in Los Angeles. His sister, Juliet Bacon, said in her Instagram post she had been visiting him in intensive care for a week. Radio Nottingham presenter Dean Jackson who helped to launch Bacon's career by giving him his first job has kept in touch with the family. 'He is being kept in the coma to get more oxygen into his system but they are hoping to reduce the sedative soon, so hopefully there will be good news,' he said. In March, Bacon spoke to Radio 5Live about his recent diagnosis of ADHD, saying he 'wouldn't change it for the world.' Pneumonia is the swelling of the tissue in one or both lungs, which is usually caused by a bacterial infection. It's very nasty - this blogger once has a (relatively minor) dose was it wiped him sideways for a fortnight. When a person has pneumonia the tiny sacs at the end of breathing tubes in their lungs become inflamed and fill up with fluid. The Gruniad Morning Starsubsequently reported that Richard had been brought out of the coma and was - slowly - recovering in hospital.
House Of Cards actress Robin Wright has claimed that she and former co-star Kevin Spacey 'only knew each other between "action" and "cut".' The pair appeared as White House power couple Claire and Frank Underwood in the Netflix series. Spacey was hastily written out of the show after being accused of sexual assault, allegations which he denies. 'I didn't know the man,' Wright can be seen saying in an advance clip from an NBC interview that will be broadcast this week. The actress goes on to describe Spacey as 'an incredible craftsman.' She added: 'Kevin and I knew each other between "action" and "cut" and in between set-ups, where we would giggle.' It is the first time that Wright has spoken about her relationship with Spacey since the allegations came to light towards the end of last year. The eight-episode final series of House Of Cards, expected to be released by Netflix this autumn, will focus on Claire Underwood's career. The character became the US president at the end of the last season, a position previously held by her on-screen husband.
Duran Duran's Simon Le Bon-Bon has furiously denied sexually assaulting a fan, saying that her story is 'simply untrue.' Shereen Hariri claims that the singer 'groped' her whilst signing autographs at the record store where she worked in 1995. Writing on Facebook, she alleged Le Bon-Bon was posing for photos when he grabbed her 'butt cheek' and started 'making his way down my butt to my genitals.''I was shocked and completely frozen,' she continued, adding that she is not seeking compensation, only an apology. Hariri, who is now forty seven and works as a therapist in Los Angeles, claimed that she was 'afraid of the consequences' of confronting the singer after the incident. 'If I made a scene, I'd be in the press: The "Girl Who Accused Simon Le Bon." I'd probably be fired, rejected, ignored, even hated,' she wrote. She changed her mind, she claimed, after the release of Donald Trump's notorious 'grab them by the pussy' tape in October 2016. 'I decided that time's up. I'm not holding this secret anymore,' she wrote in her statement. 'I want everyone to know what this man did to me. I hope he comes clean publicly. I hope he make amends to his wife and daughters.' In response, Le Bon-Bon posted a message on Duran Duran's official Facebook page, challenging the depiction of the 1995 incident, at The Wherehouse music store in Los Angeles. 'The behaviour that Ms Hariri has accused me of, would have been just as inappropriate and unacceptable to me then as it is today. But the allegation is simply untrue. When Ms Hariri first contacted me about her claim months ago, I proposed meeting with her in person so I could set the record straight. Instead, she has decided to pursue this publicly. I have always been one who can admit to my mistakes and apologise for my failings. But I cannot apologise for something I did not do.' Underneath his statement, Duran Duran's publicist and assistant Katy Krassner added her own defence of the singer. 'I was also at the in-store event in 1995,' she wrote. 'And I can tell you that what he is being accused of did not happen. Simon was never out of my sight that entire day, as each of the people on the Duran Duran team were "assigned" to a band member to help with the record signing. Apart from anything else, as any fan knows, these kinds of events are a whirlwind of quick handshakes and photo calls which literally last a matter of seconds. The idea that he sat there, right next to his band mates, in front of a bunch of cameras, reaching behind him to sexually assault someone that day is simply ludicrous.'
Harvey Weinstein has pleaded not guilty in a third sexual assault case. Weinstein, who appeared in court in New York on Monday, had already pleaded not guilty to all charges in the first two cases, in June. The sixty six-year-old, who has been on one million dollars bail since his arrest in May, has denied having non-consensual sex, his lawyers have previously said. He has been accused of sexual misconduct by more than seventy women. Those accusations gave rise to the Me Too movement, which has seen hundreds of women accusing dozens of high-profile men in business, government and entertainment of sexual abuse and harassment. The new charges against Weinstein, which date back to 2006, are punishable by a minimum sentence of ten years in The Big House and a maximum of life imprisonment, while he faces up to twenty five years in prison if convicted of either of the offences relating to the first two women. Those two cases, which allegedly took place in 2004 and 2013, involve rape and sexual assault charges. The new charges - which Weinstein denied at the State Supreme Court - include two counts of predatory sexual assault for allegedly forcing a woman into oral sex. Speaking outside the courthouse, lawyer Benjamin Brafman said that his client - who was described as looking 'pasty and pale' by reporters - was innocent. 'Today was a formality,' he said. 'Mister Weinstein is not a predator; he is not a rapist and I believe that when this case is over we will ultimately see him be exonerated.'
A hungry rat has been blamed for a power failure during a ballet in Australia. Dancers and audience members were plunged into darkness during the second-half of a Sleeping Beauty performance by the Australian Ballet. About two thousand patrons had to be evacuated by torchlight from the theatre in Adelaide after realising the outage was not an artistic effect. State energy authorities later confirmed 'rodent damage' as the cause. '[Crews] found a rat that crawled inside one of our eleven thousand-volt pieces of equipment and had blown a fuse,' a spokeswoman from South Australia Power Network said. The power outage affected the city's entire riverside arts precinct and stopped another dance performance in the Adelaide Festival Centre. Dancers initially carried on with the performance before they were stopped by management. They received a standing ovation from an audience lit by the glow of mobile phones, the Adelaide Advertiser newspaper reported. The theatre's programming director, Liz Hawkins, told the Australian Broadcasting Corp the incident was 'unprecedented' but that patrons had responded 'with good grace.' The ballet won't be rescheduled, but the audience will be given either a refund or 'some other form of compensation.' The rat, it is presumed, did not make it.
An Australian restaurant has been fined after its staff 'dumped' two drunk, unconscious women on the street. The incident at the Korean BBQ diner in Sydney was 'one of the worst breaches of liquor laws in years,' authorities said. The group of three women had each consumed eight shots of Korean soju liquor within thirty five minutes, before two of them collapsed at their table. Waiters and other diners then carried the unconscious pair out of the venue and left them on the footpath. One woman vomited while she was being removed, the Independent Liquor and Gaming Authority said in its report about the incident. The women only received medical help when patrolling police officers noticed a group of people gathered outside the Gangnam Station restaurant. 'It's hard to imagine a worse case of a venue failing in its obligations to prevent misuse and abuse of alcohol,' an ILGA representative said. Staff continued to serve the women bottles of soju despite clear signs of intoxication. The report said that the women were 'swaying and struggling to sit upright' at their table. The restaurant has been fined two thousand two hundred Australian dollars and is facing restrictions around its opening hours amid other sanctions. In Australia, anyone serving alcohol as part of their job has to do a mandatory Responsible Service of Alcohol training course. It specifically tackles how to deal with intoxicated customers and when to stop serving them.
A motorist was reportedly stopped by police whilst driving sitting on a bucket and steering with pliers. The battered car, which also had no front wing, bumper, headlights and a flat tyre was pulled over in King's Lynn. N-F-N, one could suggest. Norfolk's roads policing unit tweeted pictures of 'the most un-roadworthy car' imaginable and said that there were 'too many offences to mention.' Police said that the driver has been reported to court. 'Yes this was driven on a road and yes he was sitting on a bucket and steering with a pair of mole grips,' officers sneered, as they posted pictures of the vehicle.
A Canadian woman's first act upon winning the Canadian lottery was to threaten to sue her nephew for his half of the million Canadian dollar win. 'See you in court,' Barbara Reddick told Tyrone MacInnis as they both posed with the giant novelty cheque in Nova Scotia province. Both their names were on the winning ticket from Wednesday night's Chase The Ace draw. But Reddick - getting he greed right-on - claims that she never promised to split the jackpot with Tyrone. 'I'm taking him to court,' she told those gathered at the winners' ceremony on Thursday in Margaree Forks, a small community of about three thousand four hundred people, according to the CBC. 'I'm getting a lawyer tomorrow.' She denied that the two had an agreement. But her nephew told reporters: 'Yes, we did.' Reddick said: 'He's lying.' She claimed that she just put her nephew's name on the ticket 'for luck because he's like a son to me - he was.' Reddick told reporters that she had only promised to share possible winnings from a smaller draw, not for the jackpot. 'He was lucky, but not for half-a-million dollars,' she said. Bernice Curley, the chairwoman of the Margaree Forks Chase the Ace committee, said that she was 'taken aback' by the family feud. 'I'm a little bit disappointed that happened at the end,' she told CBC. Chase The Ace is a lottery game popular all over Canada's East coast and often raises money for charity, in this instance for the regional fire services.
A man who was filmed haranguing a woman for wearing a Puerto Rico flag shirt at an Illinois park has been extremely charged with a hate crime. Timothy Trybus was previously charged with disorderly conduct and assault. He allegedly demanded to know if a Latina picnicker was a US citizen in last month's incident. As if that's any business of his. A police officer who was filmed standing by as Mia Irizarry pleaded for his help has quit the department. Irizarry used her mobile phone to film the confrontation, which unfolded on 14 June as she set up a picnic for her birthday at Caldwell Woods in the Chicago suburbs. In the clip a white man approaches her and demands to know why she is wearing her shirt, which had Puerto Rico written on it. 'You should not be wearing that in the United States of America,' he shouts, repeatedly jabbing his finger at her in an untoward manner. 'Are you a citizen? Are you a United States citizen?' Irizarry called on a nearby park police officer for help. But the officer, Patrick Connor, showed abject cowardice turning his back and walking towards his patrol car. The suspect continued to harangue Irizarry for about ten minutes before other officers - who weren't, seemingly, apologists for racists - arrived and arrested his sorry ass. The Forest Preserve District of Cook County Police Department - where Connor worked for twelve years - announced he had resigned late on Wednesday. At a press conference on Thursday, Superintendent Arnold Randall said Connor was 'very remorseful' when he resigned. But, he said that the officer considered it 'an unfortunate incident' and felt he was not 'given a fair shake.' Randall added that Connor's personnel file will say that he did not leave 'in good standing' and will include a note that he left 'with discipline pending.' He added that officials will 'review' the mandatory diversity training that officers are required to take. Connor had taken the course a year ago, officials claim. Randall said that Irizarry deserved to be praised for her response amid a national trend of 'racially charged, abusive incidents we're seeing throughout the country. We might start with the fine example presented by Mia Irizarry and her family, who handled this ugly incident with great composure, never stooping to the level of the man who attacked her,' he said in a written statement. He added that the park staff had - one trusts grovellingly - apologised directly to Irizarry and refunded the money she had paid for her permit. The video had angered public officials in the state of Illinois, as well as the governor of Puerto Rico which is, of course, a US territory. Trybus, if convicted, faces a right shitload of time in The Big House. During which, hopefully, he will be able to reflect upon the error of his ways and the wretched nastiness of racist behaviour. Meanwhile, just to prove that racism is more than just a one-way street, a thirty-year-old African-American woman has been arrested and charged with attempted murder after allegedly using a brick to bludgeon a ninety two-year-old Latino man near Los Angeles. Laquisha Jones was also charged with 'elder abuse' over the 4 July attack. A witness said Jones told the victim, Rodolfo Rodriguez: 'Go back to your country.' Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department said the assault 'may' have been triggered by Rodriguez accidentally bumping into a young girl who was with Jones. He suffered a broken jaw, broken cheekbones, two broken ribs and bruises on his face, back and abdomen in the sick attack, US media reports.
A Houston woman accused of offering to sell her two-year-old daughter for sex at a cost of twelve hundred dollars has been extremely sentenced to forty years in prison. Twenty-five-year-old Sarah Marie Peters was sentenced Thursday after pleading very guilty to charges that include promotion of prostitution. Authorities say that undercover officers in Montgomery County, North of Houston, 'encountered Peters online' on a social media site. They say she forwarded photos of young girls and asked if there was anyone who wanted 'to have fun' with her daughter. Detectives watched Peters board a bus in Houston with her daughter to travel to Conroe, where she thought she was meeting a man who would pay for sex with the toddler. Her daughter is the custody of state Child Protective Services.
Amnesty International has condemned the Iranian authorities for publicly flogging a man who was convicted of consuming alcohol when he was fourteen or fifteen. Local media published photographs of the man - identified only as MR - being given eighty lashes in a square in the Eastern city of Kashmar on Tuesday. Prosecutors say that he was very arrested in the Iranian year of 1385 (March 2006 to March 2007) and sentenced the following year. It is not clear why the punishment was carried out more than ten years later. The photographs show a young man tied to a tree being flogged by a masked man in uniform. A small crowd of people can be seen watching at a distance. And, presumably, getting a geet chimney on whilst doing so. 'The circumstances of this case are absolutely shocking, representing another horrific example of the Iranian authorities' warped priorities,' Amnesty's Middle East and North Africa Director, Philip Luther said in a statement. 'No-one, regardless of age, should be subjected to flogging; that a child was prosecuted for consuming alcohol and sentenced to eighty lashes beggars belief.' The Young Journalists Club website quoted Kashmar's prosecutor as saying MR consumed alcohol at a wedding where an argument caused a fight in which a seventeen-year-old boy was killed. He was not suspected of involvement in the death. Article two hundred and sixty five of Iran's Islamic penal code states that the punishment for consumption of alcohol by a Muslim is eighty lashes. More than one hundred other offences are punishable by flogging, including theft, assault, vandalism, defamation and fraud, as well as acts that Amnesty said should not be criminalised, such as adultery, intimate relationships between unmarried men and women, 'breach of public morals' and consensual same-sex sexual relations. Luther said that Iran should abolish all forms of corporal punishment. But, of course, they're not going to because they, seemingly, enjoy being total bastards. As a party to the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, the country was 'legally obliged' to forbid torture and other cruel, inhumane and degrading treatment or punishment, he noted. 'It's simply unacceptable that the Iranian authorities continue to allow such punishments and to justify them in the name of protecting religious morals.' In 2014, six Iranians were sentenced to prison and ninety one lashes after being arrested for the dreadful crime of appearing in a video dancing to Pharrell Williams' song 'Happy'.
More 'long lost' settlements have been found across Wales as their outlines show as crop marks in the heatwave. An unknown Celtic site has been discovered in the shadow of a castle ruin near Tywyn in Gwynedd, according to aerial archaeologist Toby Driver. Prehistoric settlements have also emerged in Monmouthshire along with a suspected Roman fortress. 'All around Wales we are adding in new bits of history,' said Driver, who uses a light aircraft to find sites. 'Right across Wales we have got some stunning discoveries. It is a strange and exciting thing to see. It has been an incredible three weeks,' he told BBC Radio Wales'Good Morning Wales programme. The Royal Commission on the Ancient and Historical Monuments of Wales has released photographs from Driver's discoveries following flights from Haverfordwest Airport in Pembrokeshire. In Gwynedd, an additional Celtic settlement has emerged on the valley floor between the castle ruins of Castell y Bere and hillfort Craig yr Aderyn. He found the outline of a suspected Roman watch tower on the nearby coast. And in South Wales, a new Roman fortress and town between Caerwent and Caerleon has appeared in the dry conditions. The crop marks are made by vegetation drawing on better nutrients and water supplies trapped in long-gone fortification ditches - leading to lush green growth that stands out. But they can disappear as quickly as they emerge once the weather conditions change. Driver said: 'I have been doing this job since the late Nineties and I've not seen conditions like this across the country. This is the time when long lost buried archaeological sites, Roman villas, Roman forts, prehistoric settlements appear fleetingly in crops.' His research is expected to prompt further research on the ground in the months to come.
Back to the World Cup now, dear blog readers, and Kenyans have reportedly'reacted furiously' to news that twenty Kenyan MPs travelled to watch the World Cup at the taxpayers' expense. They were watching four games, including the final, in a two-week trip to Russia estimated to be costing hundreds of thousands of US dollars. The MPs caught the attention of Kenyans when they posted selfies in a stadium. Sports Minister Rashid Echesa told BBC News that he had authorised only six MPs to travel, to 'help understand how to organise such big events.' Kenya have never qualified for a World Cup final and are currently ranked one hundredand twelfth out of two hundred and six nations by football's world governing body, FIFA. Albeit, they're still a few placed above Scotland. However, Kenya is one of the world's most successful athletics nations and has submitted a bid to host the 2023 World Athletics Championships. But, many Kenyans thought the trip was 'a waste of money' in a country where the average person lives on a salary of around one hundred and fifty dollars per month. Senate Clerk Jeremiah Nyegenye, who is head of the Parliamentary Service Commission that determines the responsibilities and remuneration of legislators, claimed that the trip was worthwhile. 'It is their responsibility to understand sports, how to host such international tournaments,' the Star newspaper quotes him as saying. 'This is not a holiday and it is too simplistic to look at it as a joyrider mission.' An alleged parliamentary 'source' has allegedly told the BBC that members of parliament 'usually' travel first class. When travelling on official business, Kenyan MPs are also entitled to daily allowances for expenses of around a thousand dollars. One of those who travelled, Senator Millicent Omanga, certainly seemed to be enjoying herself judging by selfies posted on her Facebook page.
And now, dear blog reader, here's the single best tweet related to the World Cup so far!
Broadcasters have been ordered to stop their cameras zooming in on 'hot women' in the crowd at football matches, FIFA's diversity boss says. Federico Addiechi said that football's world governing body needed to 'help tackle sexism' at the World Cup. 'We've done it with individual broadcasters. We've done it with our host broadcast services,' he said. Anti-discrimination group Fare Network claims that sexism has been 'the biggest problem' at Russia 2018. It has been monitoring games and says it has 'documented more than thirty cases.' Asked if the 'crackdown on cutaways' of female fans would become official FIFA policy, Addiechi said: 'This is one of the activities we definitely will have in future - it's a normal evolution.' He said it was 'not yet a proactive campaign' but said FIFA would 'take action against things that are wrong.' Before the tournament there were concerns that homophobia and racism would be the major areas of concern but Fare Network executive director Piara Powar said that sexism was the main focus of discrimination logged by his team - mainly of Russian women being 'accosted in the streets' by male fans. However, Powar believes that the real number of incidents is likely to be 'ten times this.' Powar added there had been 'several cases' of female reporters being grabbed or kissed whilst broadcasting. When asked how FIFA could combat this, Addiechi said it has 'been working' with the local organisers and Russian police to identify these fans, some of whom have lost their FAN-IDs (a document all spectators must have to obtain access to stadiums at the World Cup) and been forced to leave the country. During Russia 2018 photographic agency Getty Images published a photo gallery of 'the hottest fans at the World Cup' featuring exclusively young women. The gallery was later removed by Getty, who said that it was 'a regrettable error in judgement' and that 'an internal investigation would be made.'
A man who got a tattoo which reads 'England World Cup 2018 Winners'claims that he 'does not regret' it. One or two people even believed him. Jamie Richardson, from Leeds, had the tattoo three weeks before England played their semi-final against Croatia. 'It is better to have believed and lost than not to have believed at all,' he said, paraphrasing Alfred Lord Tennyson. Whether he continued by quoting Pete Townshend ('I expect that I'll regret you but the skin-graft man won't get you') is, at this time, unknown.
The FA has been fined seventy thousand Swiss francs (which is about fifty grand) after Dele Alli, Eric Dier and Raheem Sterling wore 'unauthorised' socks at the World Cup. Not, this blogger is not making this up. The players wore branded ankle support socks over official Nike socks, ignoring a FIFA warning to stop. FIFA said the FA's fine was for 'breaching media and marketing regulations and the FIFA equipment regulations.' FIFA said that 'several' England players 'continued to display unauthorised commercial branding on playing equipment items before and during the quarter-final match between Sweden and England.' The Swedish FA has also been punished with the same fine for a similar 'sock offence' earlier in the tournament. That makes it the joint second highest fine at the World Cup behind Argentina's one hundred and five thousand Swiss franc punishment after their fans threw objects and chanted homophobic abuse. Which is, obviously, nowhere near as serious as 'wearing the wrong sort of socks,' clearly.
Workers at a Fiat Chrysler plant in Italy are to take strike action after its main investor decided to pay one hundred and twelve million Euros to sign well-known winker Cristiano Ronaldo for Juventus. Both the football club and the carmaker are controlled by the Agnelli family through their holding company. For the USB union, the decision means Fiat is 'missing out on investment.' It said that the firm 'needed to guarantee' the future of thousands of people, 'rather than enriching only one.' The union added it was 'unacceptable' that while Fiat Chrysler workers were making 'huge economic sacrifices,' millions of Euros were being spent on the purchase of a player. The four-year deal to capture Ronaldo from Real Madrid was announced on Tuesday amid concern that Juventus might have vastly overpaid for the thirty three-year-old forward. However, football finance expert Rob Wilson, of Sheffield Hallam University, said that Juventus should earn more than enough money from Ronaldo to cover the transfer fee and his wages. He added: 'The marketing leverage that Juve will be able to create will be significant. Added to that the likelihood that he will strengthen the team, it seems plausible that they will be more successful domestically and qualify routinely for the Champions League. That means more sponsors, more TV money and more prize money.' Born on the island of Madeira, where the airport is named after him, Ronaldo has had a successful career at Real Madrid, scoring four hundred and fifty goals in four hundred and thirty eight games for the club after signing for them from The Scum. As captain of the Portuguese national team in the World Cup, he scored four goals, including a hat-trick against Spain. Portugal made the last sixteen of the tournament, in stark contrast to Italy, who failed to qualify for the first time since 1958. Although Juventus and Fiat Chrysler are run as entirely separate businesses, they are both controlled by Exor, the investment holding of the Agnelli family. The USB union has called for a strike at the Melfi plant in Southern Italy, which makes cars including the Fiat Punto and the 500X. Its members will walk out at 10pm local time on Sunday and remain on strike until 6pm on the following Tuesday. However, the impact of the stoppage is likely to be limited. The factory is just one of seven Fiat Chrysler plants in Italy and the USB does not represent many workers there.
Formal confirmation of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies third summer signing has now come from the club, following Tuesday' successful completion of medical checks on Kenedy. The twenty two year-old Brazilian travelled to Tyneside on Monday evening after agreement was reached with parent club Moscow Chelski FC on a season-long loan. Signed initially on loan last January (after a previous attempt to do so in August 2017 had failed), Kenedy played thirteen games in black and white last season and instantly gained cult status at Gallowgate amongst supporters. Acknowledging that the deal was done, Rafa Benitez told journalists on Tuesday that: 'I'm pushing him now. If he plays this season like he did last season, I will be happy but, still, he has to score more goals! Everybody knows what he did last year. He was a great player for us. I think it's good for the fans and the team. The fans will be excited to have Kenedy for another year.' Following claims and counter-claims in the media, it appears that no provision for a permanent transfer has been made in the loan agreement - although it is speculated that there's a 'preferred bidder' clause. Whether Th' Toon wanted to agree a price for a player who will have twelve months of his Moscow Chelski FC contract remaining at the end of this latest loan is unclear.
William Hughes, the actor who played The Master as a young boy in Doctor Who, has died at the appallingly young age of twenty. William played The Master in the 2007 episode The Sound Of Drums. At the age of eight, he was the youngest actor to play the Time Lord. He also appeared in the 2008 Torchwood episode Sleeper. From Mumbles in Swansea, William, gave up acting shortly after appearing in Doctor Who. His interests turned to Boxing, joining the Bonymaen ABC boxing gym in Swansea. Fighting for the club he won three Welsh titles, before winning gold and bronze at the Great Britain championships. He won Gold at the 2017 British Universities and Colleges Sports Championships. He was described as 'tremendously talented' by former World Champion Enzo Maccarinelli, who mentored the young athlete. William studied at Bishop Vaughan Catholic School in Swansea, where he was described as 'an exceptionally talented sportsman.' He had just completed he first year of a finance degree at Queen Mary University in London. It is believed he died on 9 July whilst on holiday on the Greek island of Corfu. A spokesman for the Foreign & Commonwealth Office confirmed their staff were 'supporting the family' of a British man following his death in Corfu and were in contact with the Greek and UK police.

As mentioned in a previous bloggerisationisms update, the first teaser for Doctor Who series eleven was extremely broadcast on BBC1 at half-time in the World Cup final coverage. The most immensely marvellous bit of which was the now, seemingly, Alan Shearer is canon. This also applies to Rio Ferdinand, though yer actual Keith Telly Topping is less bothered about that. For a more in-depth look at what the teaser contained, check out the BBC News website's Doctor Who Trailer: Five Things We Learned From World Cup Teaser. This blogger, if you were wondering, thought it was reet proper great.
Yoke dunking and The Beano. What's not to love, dear blog reader?
One terrific thing about every time that a new Doctor Who trailer or teaser is broadcast is that this blogger's Facebook feed is usually - within mere minutes of it going out - filled with worthless whinging fekkers worthlessly whinging about some aspect of it to anyone that will listen (and, indeed, anyone that won't). Or just, generally, whinging in a thoroughly worthless fashion as worthless whinging fekkers tend to do as their raison d'être. Which is excellent - not the worthless whinging in and of itself, dear blog reader, that's obviously every single bit as ruddy annoying as having a wasp stuck down yer pants. But, rather, because it gives Keith Telly Topping the excellent opportunity to stick them all in his ignore file and then not have to listen to their worthless whinging fekkery any longer. And that, trust this blogger, is a good thing. As this blogger's Facebook fiend the author Graeme Burk noted on Twitter: 'I fucking hateDoctor Who fans. They suck the joy out of everything.' But, only if you can hear them.
Of course, in spite of all the whinging, it didn't take too long before the actual series eleven trailer showed up. Another five days, in fact. Satisfied now, whingers? 'All of this is new to me,' Jodie's Doctor says in the footage as she and her TARDIS team arrive in our lives, big-style. 'New faces, new worlds, new times. So if I asked really, really nicely ... Would you be my new best friends?' As intros go, that's right up there with 'do you wanna come with me?'
The trailer was unveiled during the Doctor Who panel at San Diego Comic-Con on Thursday and offers plenty of hints as to what viewers can expect from the new series. The trailer - which also confirms that Jodie's former Broadchurch colleague Shaun Dooley will appear in the new series - arrived at the end of a mad hectic promotional week for Doctor Who including magazine covers, newly-released pictures, interviews and Sunday's BBC1 teaser, although Radio Timessuggests that from hereon Doctor Who'will be under wraps again until closer to broadcast this autumn.'
There are more change afoot for Doctor Who– the new series of the BBC's long-running family SF drama will not feature any two-part stories. The decision has been made by new showrunner Chris Chibnall as a way of making the ten-part run 'as accessible to audiences as possible.''It's ten standalone episodes, there's no two-parters or anything like that,' Chibnall said during an interview at Comic-Con International in San Diego. 'What we want is for people to feel like we've got the range and variety of Doctor Who this year. So, if you've never seen it before, you're gonna fall in love with it and if you have seen it, you're gonna get those things that you love about the show across the ten episodes.' Following reports that the new Doctor Who would be crafted in a writers' room set-up, Chibnall confirmed that the writing of the episodes was 'a big group endeavour' with 'a lot of new writers to the show' working 'in a very collaborative way,' in a blend between 'the British way of working and the American way.' But while the new series will bring plenty of changes – new writers, a new cast, a new composer and more – Chibnall insisted that he is simply bringing us 'a new era, not a clean slate.' Those comments were echoed by Tosin Cole and Mandip Gill. 'It's picking up where it left off and just making minor adjustments to it, to make it more enjoyable for the audience,' said Cole. 'Like, now we're shooting on anamorphic lenses, so that gives it a whole new cinematic feel.''But it also will always relate to the old fans from before,' insisted Gill. 'They're not left out. There's still a way in [for them]. It's just we're going on a different journey, in a different direction.''That formula's still there,' added Cole. 'It's stillDoctor Who, just with a little sauce on it!''It's a continuation,' Chibnall noted. 'It's like in the same way that Spearhead From Space is a continuation of The War Games– it's something different, but exactly the same. It's really important that there's no barrier to entry for new audiences. But if you're a Doctor Who fan, all the things you love about Doctor Who are in there, I think.'
The Doctor Who Christmas tradition will definitely be continuing this year. There had been some doubt expressed recently about whether the BBC had decided to shelve the annual festive episode since series eleven is expected to be broadcast in the autumn, but the good news is that they will still get their holiday treat. Chris Chibnall and executive producer Matt Strevens confirmed the news during a press conference ahead of their panel at Comic-Con International. 'We seem to be filming eleven episodes and it's only a series of ten,' Chibnall said, with Strevens adding: 'I don't know what happened. It's a show about space and time, so it's all quite abstract.'
The new star of Doctor Who has said that she hopes young girls will be 'inspired' by the BBC's decision to cast an actual ladygirl in the title role for the first time in the popular long-running family SF drama's fifty five-year existence. 'There's the chiselled superhero that we're used to seeing and we've all grown up with,' Jodie Whittaker said in an interview with the Radio Times. 'But Doctor Who has never been that, which is wonderful. It's attainable in so many ways. And now, it isn't just attainable for half of the population. The other half can be The Doctor as well. Girls will no longer just think, "Oh, I could be a companion." Being the first female Doctor and showing children that their heroes in shows don't always look the same is a huge honour for me.' Jodie said that she had been 'pleased' with the reaction after it was announced she would be replacing Peter Capaldi. She said that fans - well, most fans, anyway - understood that the SF series would 'inevitably go in a different' direction with her in the lead role. 'In a way, though, there is liberation in that new direction: the pressure is less for me because I can only do this my way. All the rules are out the window! That's what makes it so fun.' Details of the show, which is produced in Cardiff under great secrecy, remain scarce. 'If you've never seen Doctor Who, or want to introduce your children or family and friends to it, this series is the perfect point to start,' Chris Chibnall told Radio Times. 'It was really important to me that there's no barrier to entry. You don't need to know about anything that's come before. We've got a new Doctor, all-new characters, all-new monsters, all-new stories. It's going to be exciting, emotional and the most enormous fun.'
Speaking to Entertainment Weekly, Doctor Who showrunner Chris Chibnall has described the ground-breaking choice of Jodie Whittaker as 'the easiest decision I made in my whole career.' Executive producer Matt Strevens revealed that he and Chibnall 'saw a few actresses for the part,' but 'couldn't see past' Whittaker as the standout candidate. 'She was just so compelling,' he added. 'In a way, it was a no-brainer. The fact that we were casting a female Doctor disappeared really quickly from our minds. We were just casting the Doctor and she felt like our Doctor.' Also in the interview, Jodie her very self said that she is looking forward to being known as The Doctor for the rest of her career. 'There is an element of, "You are The Doctor for the rest of your life" - that's an honour and also will be, at times, probably overwhelming. But that's the joy of when art reaches the masses. I'm given this platform, and everyone works their arse off to get it seen, and I can't moan about that. I have had only the positive so far.'
Jodie and one of her TARDIS predecessors' national heartthrob David Tennant are, of course, friends and former colleagues from their years working together on Broadchurch, the show on which they collaborated with Chris Chibnall. According to Jodie, it was Chibnall who called up a somewhat-unprepared Tennant after Jodie had landed the role and stuck them on the phone together to have a chat about the ins-and-outs about playing The Doctor. Chibnall had only told Tennant that 'the new Doctor' would be calling him, so he was surprised when Whittaker's name appeared on his mobile screen. 'All I remember [David] saying - and I was lucky to speak to Matt [Smith] and Peter [Capaldi] - all I remember is, "This is the most amazing thing that can happen to you and there's only a few of us who know how it feels,"' Jodie told fans at Comic-Con. She later elaborated to Deadline: 'I think the thing that was the overriding message [from all three] was that you are going to have the time of your life. Also, that this is like no other job, and it's completely unique for every single person who plays the part.' Tennant has since praised Chibnall for casting Jodie as the show's new 'strong female lead,' saying that she is 'without a doubt' the right person to play The Doctor.
Meanwhile, Jodie her very self has followed in several of her illustrious predecessors footsteps by copping a Radio Times cover well in advance of her actual debut episode in the role.
One of those predecessors, national heartthrob David Tennant has been spotted in his pinstripe suit and wielding his sonic screwdriver combo once again ... for a Pigs In Spacesketch during The Muppets Take The O2 last Friday. Not only did David deliver some witty about regeneration to Miss Piggy and even shouted out catchphrase 'Allons-y!' but the former Doctor was also reunited with one of his former Doctor Who guest stars, yer actual Kylie Minogue. Kylie, Kylie, sweet and smiley – who played one-off companion Astrid Peth in 2007 Christmas special Voyage Of The Damned; you knew that, right – also appeared on stage to sing 'Mahna Mahna' with The Snowths.
Another of Jodie's predecessors, yer actual Peter Capaldi, appears to have fallen on hard times. No, sorry, wrong Dickens novel. Yer actual Peter Capaldi appears to have fallen on David Copperfield (currently being filmed on location in and around Bury St Edmunds.
Chris Chibnall has revealed he was originally 'unsure' about accepting the showrunner gig. Speaking to the Digital Spy website, Chibnall explained that, once he had agreed to replace The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (OBE as executive producer, he had 'a very clear idea' of how he wanted to approach the series. 'I just had a sense of where I wanted to take it [and] how it was going to relate to the world that we live in now,' he said. 'Obviously, Peter [Capaldi] deciding to go then opens up choices going forward. It was pretty clear to me what I wanted to do, and how we would do it. But despite this, Chibnall insisted he had never thought about becoming Doctor Who showrunner prior to The Moff's exit and, indeed, was surprised to be offered the job. 'I wasn't walking around with [what I'd do] in my head. I never expected to be in this job. I wasn't sitting at home, thinking, "Well, of course, I'd do it like this" because I was off doing other things. The first thing you think is, "I don't wanna do that" and then it was, "Oh, we could do that [and] we could do that" so the ideas start coming and then they sort of coalesce. You think, "That's a direction of travel and that's something that honours the show but then also creates it fresh"– hopefully!' In fact, Chibnall disclosed that he came close to rejecting the offer, since he already had plans in place for new writing projects post-Broadchurch and was aware of 'the enormous impact' that doing Doctor Who would have on his life. 'It's a massive job,' he explained. 'The place of the show within popular culture, and globally. And obviously, I've been around the show intermittently, so I've seen how Russell did it, I've seen how Steven did it, I was around for Torchwood. It was knowing how much work it was, how much that was going to change my life, and my family's life. I just didn't expect to be offered it and I had plans for what I was going to do after Broadchurch, which was not this. So it took me a while to say yes.' Having now taken on the gig, though, Chibnall says that he 'couldn't be happier' with his final decision and with the series of Doctor Who he's produced. 'It's a rollercoaster of fun and emotion and thrills and scares,' he claimed. 'With a group of your new best friends.'
Exciting news for Doctor Who fans in the antipodes, the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama is returning to New Zealand's TVNZ after a twenty two-year absence. The iconic show, which last appeared on TVNZ channels in 1996, is returning in time for Jodie Whittaker's first appearance. TVNZ's Director of Content, Cate Slater said: 'Doctor Who has a special place in popular culture. It's a global juggernaut with a faithful following. This upcoming season marks the beginning of a new era for the extraordinary Time Lord, with the first ever female Doctor at the helm of the TARDIS. The time felt right to bring the series back to TVNZ. We can't wait to share all the action, adventure and humour the show is known and loved for with our viewers, as well as the exciting new twists and turns that are coming their way.' TVNZ will stream episodes on TVNZ OnDemand immediately following the UK broadcast (at the same time episodes appear on the BBC iPlayer), allowing insomniac New Zealand fans to engage in worldwide discussions on the show without the fear of spoilers. Episodes will also play on broadcast TV the same week as the UK. Further details confirming the channel, day and date will be released closer to the season’s premiere.
The second episode of the BBC2 adaptation of Picnic At Hanging Rock thankfully maintained the quality of the opener which so impressed this blogger last time around. Keith Telly Topping was wondering how Beatrix Christian was going to be able to make the contents of what was a rather slim novel in the first place into six episodes of television. Seemingly, the answer to that is 'much - thoughtful and impressive - use of flashbacks'! The Den Of Geeks website review of the episode can be read here. 'Sexuality is so far this drama's major preoccupation and it's making fruitful use of the opportunity to go back into Joan Lindsay's 1960s-written, 1900-set novel to fill in a few blanks on the subject. The drama's fluidity between what is real and what is imagined fits in a time where social possibilities were beginning to shift. The Fitzhubert cronies may still toast Queen Victoria, but the new century would see gay men, lesbians, indigenous Australians and women all fighting for changes to the way Picnic At Hanging Rock shows them being treated. It's offering the sort of history lesson we can't be reminded about too often.' Indeed. Also of note is a Daily Scum Express's fluff-piece: Is Picnic At Hanging Rock based on a true story? which manages to take several paragraphs to states what could have been done in one line: 'No, it isn't. It is however based on a - really very good - 1967 novel.' One trusts that the author, Molli Mitchell, was being aid by the word.
Oily odious twat Piers Morgan made a big deal out of his recent interview with President - and hairdo - Donald Rump and how he was the only person in the UK to get that opportunity. Some people you've never heard of on Twitter'slammed' (that's 'criticised', only with less syllables) the interview as being nothing more than the host of asking Rump a series of fluff questions, rather than pressing Rum on anything that, you know, actually matters. Morgan, of course, robustly defended the interview, saying that he 'didn't have much time' and didn't think 'it was the right setting to go too hard' with his questions, but it appears that viewers weren't having it. That was proved by a post-news broadcast of the interview on 16 July, which was beaten in the overnight ratings by a repeat of a 2017 episode of Have I Got News For You which had 1.5 million viewers compared to 1.2 million for oily odious twat Morgan's Rump slavvering. Stephen Mangan, who hosted the episode in question, shared a tweet from a TV reporter and added a Rump-esque caption: 'A repeat of me hosting HIGNFY got more viewers than an interview with the failing low-ratings Real Donald Trump Sad!' Oily odious twat Morgan, who normally loves to boast about his ratings, was oddly silent on the subject.
From The North favourite Gillian Anderson may have quit The X-Files, but the SF drama's creator seems to think the show can only go on with Dana Scully. So, as predicted at the time of the last episode, that would appear to be the end of The X-Files, then. The actress left the show last year after its - patchy, occasionally brilliant, but ultimately disappointing - eleventh series and hasn't held back in her criticism of its comeback ever since. However, Chris Carter has now suggested that going forward with a twelfth season would depend on Anderson herself. 'Right now, of course, it's up in the air, in terms of Gillian's interest in doing the show,' Carter told the Den Of Geek website. 'I think she's stated that she's finished her run. That certainly changes things and also the sale of FOX to either Disney or Comcast - it looks like Disney now - I think that will change things and certainly they'll be looking at the show and wondering what its future would be. So right now, we're playing a wait-and-see with all those variables.' He continued: For me, The X-Files is Mulder and Scully, so even though we did the show without David for a time, I always felt like her science was the centre of the show. In the end, it is a science show and it makes it all-important.' Carter had previously expressed public confidence that show could continue without Anderson. Now, seemingly, he's changed his mind.
Spaced fans (and, this blogger was and still is one) have been desperate for the show to return since it ended in 2001. But, creator Simon Pegg has revealed why the cult comedy won't be coming back to screens after being asked, essentially, the same question for the last seventeen years. 'That question will never go away. The more they ask, the less likely it is,' he told NME. Peggy gave his reasons, saying 'it couldn't possibly ever exist again' because it was about 'a group of twenty-somethings at the turn of the Century.' Discussing the prospect of a reunion series, he added: 'Why? There's no point. I dunno what I have to say that's relatable about life now. It's not gonna happen, kids – unless you want a sitcom about some clueless actor who can't tie his own shoelaces.'
Alex Salmond's programme on the Kremlin-backed TV station RT breached broadcasting standards when he read out tweets and e-mails which appeared to be from members of the public, the UK's media regulator has ruled. Ofcom said Scotland's former first minister 'misled' his audience during the first episode of The Alex Salmond Show, because four of the six messages were actually sent by people connected either to him or to the programme. The regulator concluded that the programme, broadcast last November, was in breach of its code, adding it was 'important that the content of current affairs programmes can be relied on by viewers and listeners, as breaches of that trust can result in material harm and offence.' The ruling is the latest enforcement action by Ofcom against RT, formerly known as Russia Today, which has been under increased monitoring by the regulator since the poisoning of Sergei and Yulia Skripal in Salisbury. Salmond's production company Sláinte Media, which makes the programme for RT, whinged: '[The ruling could] lower the bar to a level which jeopardises freedom of speech under the European convention on human rights and would call into question the proportionality and fairness of Ofcom's decision making.' Sláinte also argued that if it was banned from including comments from 'acquaintances' of Salmond on the show then it would exclude 'a very substantial section of the population' from having the right to have their views broadcast. Ofcom concluded that one of the questions read out by Salmond was sent by 'a freelance make-up [artist] who had been involved in rehearsals for the show,' one was from a camera operator working on the programme and another had been prepared by the series director for a dress rehearsal and was broadcast as a result of 'an editing mistake.' RT said that another question had been sent in by 'a former business acquaintance' of Salmond, who 'of his own accord delivered a handwritten letter to Mister Salmond's office offering his question for inclusion in the show.' The Moscow-backed station argued that the audience watching Salmond's show 'could not reasonably expect' the tweets and e-mails to be from 'real viewers,' since it was the first episode of the series. RT said the segment was 'clearly light-hearted' in tone and it was 'difficult to conceive of any harm and offence that may have been caused.' RT also mocked suggestions that 'the tweets and e-mails were fake and were the product of an alleged Moscow propaganda machine' and said that if anything caused harm to the public it was 'inaccurate news reporting' about the origin of the tweets and e-mails, rather than the programme itself. One or two people even believed them. But, after a lengthy investigation Ofcom concluded that viewers should 'reasonably expect' that questions sent in to the show would 'originate from members of the public wholly unconnected' with the programme. 'The failure to disclose this information meant that viewers were misled,' the regulator said. 'Because viewer trust in this current affairs programme would have been undermined, we considered that this was materially misleading.' A spokesperson for RT accused Ofcom of 'orchestrating media coverage' of the incident by publishing a preliminary finding earlier this year, allegedly before receiving representations from the channel. 'This gives rise to grave concern over the fairness of Ofcom's process and agenda,' whinged RT. 'The concern is heightened as Ofcom is using powers that exist for protection against serious matters to find in breach this trivial teething problem – a real sledgehammer to crack a nut.' Salmond, who - amusingly - lost his Westminster parliamentary seat to the Conservatives at the 2017 general erection, continues to present the programme, which recently featured a three-part series on Gibraltar.
The television and radio presenter Richard Bacon is, to the relief of his many admirers, out of a medically induced coma and, indeed, now out of hosital. The forty two-year-old, who now lives in Los Angeles, was taken ill on a flight to Britain earlier this month with suspected pneumonia. After his condition worsened staff at the hospital in London put him into the coma to allow his body to fight the infection. He posted on Twitter earlier this week: 'I am alive. Or in Lewisham. Or somewhere between the two.' His first tweet since 5 July was a quote about the true meaning of love. Goodwill messages were soon sent by the likes of Brian Cox (no, the other one), David Baddiel and Gary Lineker, who tweeted 'Have you overslept?' Bacon responded: 'Yes, for six days straight.' He then posted a longer message saying that he had 'nearly died' and had been rushed down a hospital hallway 'with a massive needle jammed in my chest. I thought, "this is it."' The seriousness of Richard's condition emerged publicly last Friday when his sister, Juliet, posted an image of hospital doors on Instagram, saying that she had been visiting her brother for a week. By the end of the day it had been confirmed that doctors were reducing his medication to bring him round. His latest tweets again thanked the hospital, saying that he has walked in complaining of being short of breath and 'With[in] ninety minutes they had placed me into a life saving six day coma.' Bacon, who was born in Mansfield, started his career on BBC Radio Nottingham before going on to present on national television and radio including Blue Peter, The Big Breakfast, Top Of The Pops and his own programmes on 5Live and 6Music. While the exact cause of his infection has not been confirmed, its symptoms appear to match pneumonia, a swelling of the tissue in one or both lungs caused by a bacterial infection.
A total of forty four-and-a-half million punters tuned in to watch the BBC's television coverage of the 2018 World Cup in Russia. There was a record 66.8 million match requests, including live and on-demand, on the BBC Sport website and on iPlayer. England's quarter-final win over Sweden saw the highest peak TV share of the tournament at eighty nine per cent, which was also the BBC's highest online-viewed live programme ever with 3.8 million. The France verses Croatia final had a peak BBC1 audience of 10.4 million. Meanwhile, the BBC Sport website brought in a record 49.2 million unique UK browsers for the tournament, an increase of 16.9 million from the 2014 competition. There were four hundred and fifty thousand unique UK browsers to the online player rater, which generated 11.9 million ratings and more than two million downloaded and three hundred thousand streamed the World Cup Daily podcast in June. Director of BBC Sport Barbara Slater said: 'We have just witnessed one of the most memorable World Cup tournaments ever which has captivated football fans across the United Kingdom. The interest in the tournament and the achievement of England winning through to the semi-finals has been proven in the record-breaking figures for TV and online. It shows the impact that top-quality sport can have when made freely available to everyone.'
British World Cup viewers were 'exposed to almost ninety minutes of betting adverts' during the tournament 'prompting claims that children are being bombarded with messages encouraging them to gamble,'according to some shit-stirring waste-of-oxygen in the Gruniad Morning Star. 'From the beginning of the tournament to England's semi-final clash with Croatia, ITV carried more than eight-and-a-half hours of advertisements, of which just under an hour-and-a-half were advertising betting,' the Gruniad whinged. That, they claimed 'is equivalent to seventeen per cent of World Cup ad breaks, or roughly one minute in every six, with the one hundred and seventy two betting spots combined lasting nearly the length of a football match.' Bookmakers and online casino companies 'enjoyed one-and-a-half times as much screen time as alcohol firms and almost four times that of fast food outlets.' A government review of gambling regulation published earlier this year 'shied away' from suggesting curbs on gambling adverts, citing insufficient evidence that adverts for betting were causing harm to children and vulnerable people sneered the Gruniad. But, Labour's deputy leader, Tom Watson - power to the people! - and the charity GambleAware (no, me neither claimed that this was 'partly due to a lack of funding for research into gambling adverts' since they were deregulated in 2007. 'One of the only downsides to this brilliant World Cup has been the bombardment of gambling advertising on TV and social media that thousands of children will have been exposed to,' said Watson. 'With an estimated twenty five thousand children under sixteen addicted to gambling, there is nowhere near enough work being done to study the effects of this advertising. Instead of confronting this issue in the most recent gambling review, the government has turned a blind eye. In doing so they've let our children down.' And, they've let themselves down but, most importantly, they've let Gareth Southgate down. Shame on them, the bastards. Watson added that Labour would impose a mandatory levy on the industry to fund increased research, education and treatment of gambling addiction and the effects of advertising. GambleAware, funded via a voluntary levy on gambling firms of 0.1 per cent of revenue, has backed a mandatory tax because it does not receive enough money to fund research and treatment for problem gamblers, estimated to number more than four hundred thousand in the UK. It has only recently commissioned 'the first major piece of research, conducted by the University of Stirling and Ipsos Mori,' into the effects of gambling adverts being deregulated more than ten years ago. The studies are not due to be complete until next year. The GambleAware chief executive, Marc Etches, said: 'In the absence of evidence, the concern is that this is an adult activity and young people are growing up with it being normalised. They get exposed to it on television around sports, advertising online and gambling activities within [computer] games. It seems to have gone too far. And for young people growing up there just seems to be a stronger and stronger affiliation between the two [gambling and sport] and I'm wary of that.' Fiona Dobbie, who is leading the University of Stirling's research into gambling advertising, claimed that the study 'would analyse the response of children' and other vulnerable groups to marketing. 'This is very much a starting point and we hope it will make a positive contribution to future legislation and policy to protect children from gambling-related harm,' she said. 'If we'd had something starting then [2007], we'd have much robust data but we're now ten years down the line.' According to ITV, 'nearly thirty million people' watched at least a part of England's semi-final clash with Croatia. This increased the cost of gambling advertising on the channel because it allowed companies to reach so many people. Alleged (though suspiciously anonymous) advertising industry 'sources' allegedly said that a thirty-second spot during the semi-final of the World Cup could cost as much as three hundred and fifty thousand smackers but that bookmakers and online casinos were 'paying a premium to secure blanket coverage.' The Gruniad Morning Star'analysed more than thirteen hundred adverts that were shown around the first thirty games shown by ITV in the competition.' Not that anyone actually asked them to but, obviously, they didn't have any real news to report this week. Of those, one hundred and seventy two were betting adverts or one-in-eight commercials. Excluding the sponsored adverts shown at the beginning and end of each break, betting accounted for one-in-six adverts shown during the broadcaster's World Cup coverage. The Advertising Standards Authority said that it had received one hundred and fifteen whinges about World Cup gambling adverts - from people with nothing better to do with their time, it would seem - mostly about their sheer volume, compared with just twenty seven in the previous month. The regulator is also 'examining several adverts that offer improved odds for a short period,' to see if they contravene new guidance in the advertising code of practice that bars companies from making urgent calls to action, the Gruniad claims. In the UK, gambling companies are only permitted to advertise before the 9pm watershed if they do so during live sporting events. The stipulation is in stark contrast to the law in Australia, where gambling adverts attached to live sports were banned earlier this year.
The celebrations in Paris following France's victory in the World Cup turned extremely violent when dozens of vandals clashed with police and destroyed local shop fronts on the Champs Elysees. With kids getting sparked and all sorts.
Four members of the Russian 'punk activist group' Pussy Riot have been very jailed for fifteen days for disrupting the World Cup final by running onto the pitch. They were accused of 'violating the rules for spectators at sporting events' and 'wearing police uniforms illegally.' They were also banned from attending any sports events for three years and from looking at The Butcher Of Grozny 'in a funny way.' Probably. Pussy Riot said that it was a protest 'against human rights abuses in Russia.' Stewards hauled the four off the pitch and, one imagines, gave them a right kicking round the back of the stadium. Pussy Riot has staged high-profile protests against Vladimir Putin before. Three members were jailed in 2012 for an anti-Putin punk song performed in a Moscow cathedral. The group has tweeted that the four arrested on Sunday spent the whole night at a police station 'in great discomfort.' Three women and a man ran onto the pitch, though one was tackled on the sidelines. They wore police-style uniforms: white shirts, black trousers and epaulettes. One woman managed to do a high-five salute with French star Kylian Mbappé before being led off the pitch. But the male intruder was grabbed angrily by Croatia defender Dejan Lovren. After the incident Lovren told reporters: 'I just lost my head and I grabbed the guy and I wished I could throw him away from the stadium.' The man was identified as Pyotr Verzilov, the husband of Nadezhda Tolokonnikova. She was among three Pussy Riot members jailed in 2012. The three women World Cup intruders were named as Nika Nikulshina, Olga Kurachyova and Olga Pakhtusova. A statement from Pussy Riot said that the aims of their protest included making the Russian authorities free all political prisoners, stop illegal arrests at public rallies, allow political competition in the country and stop fabricating criminal cases and jailing people on remand 'for no reason.' The statement quoted a Russian poet, Dmitry Prigov, who had contrasted the 'heavenly policeman who speaks to God on his walkie-talkie' with 'the Earthly one who fabricates criminal cases.' The Russian anti-Putin activist and blogger Alexei Navalny has tweeted a video clip showing two of the pitch invaders being interrogated. An angry voice is heard shouting at Verzilov and one of the women - looking dishevelled in their mock police uniforms. 'Sometimes I regret that it's not 1937' the person off-camera says, alluding to the communist-era terror campaign instigated by Soviet dictator and disgraceful mass murderer Joseph Stalin. The European Court of Human Rights has condemned Russia for its handling of the Pussy Riot women, amongst other high-profile cases.
A London Underground station has been temporarily named after England's football manager. Southgate Tube station was rebranded Gareth Southgate station from Monday morning for forty eight hours, after the squad finished fourth in the World Cup. It was England's best result since 1990 when they also lost in the semi-final. 'We are delighted to be able to show our appreciation to Gareth and the team by renaming the station in his honour,' Transport for London said. The Piccadilly Line station, in Enfield, displayed the manager's name on its signs until the end of Tuesday. One local resident said the temporary signage was a 'fantastic' way to say thank you to the England manager. Speaking at the station, she said: 'He gets on with the job and he achieved those amazing results and lifted the whole nation's spirits. And this is a tribute to him in the very same manner - quiet, unassuming.'
Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies' boss, Rafael Benitez, was approached by the Spanish Football Federation about taking temporary charge of Spain at the World Cup according to the BBC Sport website. The RFEF reportedly wanted the fifty eight-year-old after Julen Lopetegui was sacked two days before Spain's opening match.Fernando Hierro took charge on an interim basis as they went on to lose on penalties to Russia in the last-sixteen. Ex-Barcelona coach Luis Enrique has now been appointed on a two-year contract. Speaking to the Newcastle Evening Chronicle, Benitez said: 'There was maybe a chance, but still I am here and I am happy to be here. There was a chance. There were rumours about that.' Benitez has said that Newcastle may have to sell before they can buy players in the transfer window. Newcastle have so far signed goalkeeper Martin Dubravka on a permanent deal after a loan spell last season, former Swansea City midfielder Ki Sung-Yueng has joined on a free and they re-signed Brazilian winger Kenedy on loan from Moscow Chelski FC. 'Unfortunately it's what we have to do,' said Benitez, 'We have to wheel and deal, that is the way for us. We have to be realistic with our budget, and then maybe sell some players and buy some players.'
Eight-time Olympic champion Usain Bolt is in talks for a trial to play football in Australia, a club says. The Jamaican former sprinter is 'negotiating a six-week stint' with the Central Coast Mariners, a team in the country's A-League competition. Mariners chief executive Shaun Mielekamp said that the club had spent four months pursuing Bolt and a season-long deal could follow. Football agent Tony Rallis said a deal had been agreed 'in principle.' Rallis, who has been involved in the deal, told local Sky Sports Radio that negotiations continued over Bolt's pay. 'The owner of Central Coast Mariners has put his hand deep in his pocket and guaranteed seventy per cent of the salary,' Rallis said. News Corp Australia reported that 'a multi-million dollar deal' had been proposed. Bolt has previously trained with clubs in Germany, Norway and South Africa. The one and two hundred metres world record holder, who retired from athletics last year, has previously spoken about his interest in becoming a professional footballer. Bolt is a huge fan of The Scum and one of its former assistant managers, Mike Phelan, is now at the Mariners. A Football Federal Australia spokesman told the BBC that it 'would not assist in funding Bolt's trial.' Mielekamp said the club was 'optimistic' that the trial could be extended. 'If all goes well, who knows? He may be lighting up the A-League this season,' he told the local Seven Network on Tuesday. Mielekamp said that the club had received positive reports about Bolt's performance when he trained with Borussia Dortmund and Norwegian side Stromsgodset. 'The most important thing is we wait to find out and see how good a footballer he is first,' Mielekamp said. 'Time will tell at what level he is at and if it fits the A-League.'
David Bowie's mid-1980s career - his own, self-confessed Phil Collins Years - will be explored in the box-setLoving the Alien (1983-1988), a collection which gathers the late Grand Dame's work from The Era That Taste Forgot. The eleven-CD or fifteen-LP Loving The Alien, released on 12 October, features Bowie's three studio CD – 1983's 'at least it's got four great singles on it .. even if the version of Cat People totally blows'Let's Dance, 1984's 'the point where the rot really set in'Tonight and 1987's 'almost no redeeming features whatsoever'Never Let Me Down– alongside a pair of first-time-on-vinyl live CDs – 1983's immaculately-played-but-a-bit-soulless stadium pop extravaganza Serious Moonlight and the full unedited horrors of 1987's Glass Spider– and the newly assembled compilation Dance, which collects twelve contemporaneous remixes. Also exclusive to the box set is a 2018 reworking of Never Let Me Down with new production and instrumentation overseen by Bowie engineer Mario McNulty. Longtime Bowie collaborators including Reeves Gabriel, Sterling Campbell, Tim Lefebvre and Nico Muhly also contributed to the project, which was born out of Bowie's desire to re-record the 1987 LP that he (and, indeed, just about everyone else that's ever heard it) called 'a bitter disappointment.' The seeds of this new re-imagining of were sown in 2008 when Bowie asked McNulty to remix the song ‘Time Will Crawl' (just about the only worthwhile thing on Never Let Me Down) and record new drums by Campbell along with strings. The song was issued on the iSelect compilation to much acclaim and, in the notes for that record, David remarked 'Oh, to redo the rest of that album.' In early January, the musicians involved entered New York's Electric Lady Studios to fulfill David's wishes and remake Never Let Me Down, which now features a guest appearance by Laurie Anderson on 'Shining Star'. The 2018 reworking also boasts 'newly remixed artwork' reflecting the CD's subject matter and features unseen images from the original cover photographic session from the archive of Greg Gorman. Like previous Bowie retrospective box-sets, Five Years (1969-1973), Who Can I Be Now? (1974-1976) and A New Career In A New Town (1977-1982), Loving The Alien is completed by a new compilation, Re:Call 4 which hosts single versions and vinyl edits from the era. Bowie's contributions to the soundtracks for Labyrinth, The Falcon & The Snowman, Absolute Beginners and When The Wind Blows also feature on Re:Call 4. The Loving The Alien set comes complete with an accompanying booklet with previously unpublished photos, historical press reviews and technical notes about the CDs from producers/engineers Nile Rodgers, Hugh Padgham, McNulty and Justin Shirley-Smith. The fifth Bowie box-set, Tin Machine: The Mid-Life Crisis Years will be released in 2019.
Hugh Whitemore, the British playwright renowned for dramatising the lives of such real-life figures as Alan Turing and Winston Churchill, has died at eighty two. Breaking The Code, his 1986 play about Bletchley Park cryptographer Turing, was later filmed for TV with Sir Derek Jacobi reprising his stage performance. Whitemore's other works included the 2002 TV movie The Gathering Storm, starring Albert Finney as Churchill. The drama won two Golden Globes, three Primetime EMMYs and three TV BAFTAs. Born in Tunbridge Wells in Kent in 1936, Whitemore trained at RADA. Having started out with ambitions as a performer, he was told by one of his teachers, the actor Peter Barkworth, that he had the potential to make a great contribution to theatre – 'though, perhaps not as an actor.' And so it proved. He was busy in television from the early 1960s, contributing to such important one-off drama series as the BBC's Thirty Minute Theatre, Theatre 625, Out Of the Unknown, The Wednesday Play (such as 1968's Hello, Good evening & Welcome) and Play For Today and ITV's Armchair Theatre, as well as to popular series such as the soap opera Compact, set in the world of magazine publishing and No Hiding Place, one of the earliest crime dramas (starring Raymond Francis as Detective Chief Superintendent Tom Lockhart) to run counter to the early-evening cosiness of Dixon Of Dock Green. It was not long before Whitemore was making a name for himself on more prestigious projects and not a little of this was down to his affability and considerable charm, as well as to his professionalism and graft. An inherently funny man, he was a writer of silky dialogue and well-turned narrative who won the respect, as well as the friendship, of fellow writers such as Harold Pinter, Simon Gray and Ronald Harwood. Like Pinter and Harwood, he benefited hugely from his own background and experience as a professional actor; he knew what 'worked' and, more importantly, what actors could comfortably say. And his themes, more often than not, were friendship and betrayal. He had been educated at King Edward VI school in Southampton. After RADA, registering little success on regional theatre stages, he began writing, winning the first of his three EMMY awards for an episode of Elizabeth R in 1970 and establishing himself as a reliable adapter of popular classics, such as David Copperfield (1974) in six episodes, with David Yelland in the title role, 1971's Cider With Rosie and a ninety-minute BBC Moll Flanders (1975) starring Julia Foster. Stevie, his 1977 play about English poet Stevie Smith, starred Glenda Jackson in the title role and was filmed the following year. Whitemore also enjoyed success with Eighty Four Charing Cross Road, a real-life story of a friendship based on letters he adapted for television in 1975 and for film in 1987. Pack Of Lies, his 1983 play about Russian spies operating clandestinely in suburban Ruislip, also began life as a BBC production. His CV also included The Bells Of Hell (for the Late Night Horror strand, The Root Of All Evil, All Neat In Black Stockings, Diamond Crack Diamond, Hadleigh, Man At The Top, The Guardians, The Shadow of The Tower, The Man Outside, The Pearcross Girls, Menace (including 1973's memorable Deliver Us From Evil, Fall of Eagles, the 1975 movie All Creatures Great & Small, 1975's outstanding futurist allegory State Of Emergency, Dummy, My Cousin Rachel, The Haunting Of Helen Walker, A Dance To The Music of Time and Midsomer Murders. His work for American TV included Concealed Enemies, about the Alger Hiss case for which he won an EMMY and he was also nominated for his adaptation of the Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward book Nixon: The Final Days starring Lane Smith. Whitemore's recent works included the 2003 film My House In Umbria, starring Dame Maggie Smith and the 2016 play Sand In The Sandwiches, in which Edward Fox played poet John Betjeman. Writing in the Gruniad Morning Star, critic Michael Coveney described him as 'an accomplished craftsman for theatre and TV for more than fifty years.' Whitemore served as a council member at RADA and was made an honorary fellow of King's College London in 2006. He was twice divorced, and is survived by his third wife, the actress Rohan McCullough, whom he married in 1998 and by his son, Thomas, from his second marriage, to the literary agent Sheila Lemon.

Psst, dear blog reader - do you wanna see an image of yer actual Jodie Whittaker her very self in costume from Comic-Con? Of course y'do, you're only human after all.
For the first time since Amy and Rory got well-stuck in the past, Doctor Who will feature a bona-fide TARDIS 'team' when it returns this autumn, with three companions joining Jodie Whittaker's Doctor on her adventures in space and time. Jodie described the new series as 'an ensemble piece' at the show's Comic-Con panel, with showrunner Chris Chibnall telling the Digital Spy website that having a trio of 'new friends' for The Doctor was very definitely a deliberate decision. 'I love Doctor Who as a big, popular, mainstream, accessible show,' Chibnall said. 'So I wanted to make sure that every member of the audience felt they had a relatable character, an access point. Hopefully it means that the show can resonate with the broadest possible audience. And of course, three companions with The Doctor, we're really going back to 1963 - that's the format of the show! You're not changing the format, that's how it started - which I only realised afterwards.' The Doctor's new friends - Chibnall says not calling them 'companions' feels 'a bit more natural' but 'is in no way a rule or edict from now on' - include Yaz (Mandip Gill), who is 'in absolute awe of The Doctor' and Ryan (Tosin Cole), who 'challenges The Doctor from time-to-time, gets it right sometimes, but wrong a lot of the time. Ryan is nineteen, Yaz is nineteen and then you've got Graham who is the oldest of the bunch, so we've got different generations, different genders,' Cole said. 'People have an "in," in three different ways,' Gill added. 'We all bring something different to the group, with gender, race, everything. And just the personalities of the three characters are very different. They each have a very individual voice, where I think certain people will be able to instantly relate to Bradley Walsh's character, instantly relate to Tosin's and hopefully just love us all!' That There Bradley Walsh completes the trio as Graham, with Chibnall confirming that he thought of casting the well-known actor and comedian having worked together on ITV's Law & Order: UK in 2009. 'He's an amazing actor and that's what I learned working with him on Law & Order,' The Chib added. 'He has an incredible emotional range. He's able to be really funny and break your heart. And these guys [Gill and Cole] are exactly the same, as is Jodie. It means you have a range of emotional flavours in the show.'
Interviews with the new cast and crew of Doctor Who at Comic-Con from TV Line and MTV can be checked out here and here respectively. And, jolly charming they are two. This blogger continues to be very impressed with just about everything that Jodie, Mandip and Tosin have been saying about the forthcoming series and their views of the future of the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama. The BBC has also released a recording to the full Doctor Who Comic-Con panel.
The BBC have made public a number of new promotional images for the forthcoming series of Doctor Who and, a couple of them feature The Doctor sporting a new sonic screwdriver. Designer Arwel Wyn Jones said: 'It's a privilege to have been asked to redesign the iconic sonic screwdriver for the Thirteenth Doctor and a new generation of audiences. I can't wait for people to see how The Doctor acquires it!' The sonic was revealed at Comic-Con and will be available to purchase in August - not the actual sonic but copies of it. The US and UK toy versions of the Sonic Screwdriver have been created by Seven20 and Character Options, respectively. The new, electronic eight inch collectable is 'a perfect replica of The Doctor's device' - it says here - and 'features a light crystal and two buttons which control the light and sound elements of the Sonic.'
Speaking of the sonic screwdriver, according to some louse of no importance at that bastion of true and accurate reportage, the SunFans claim the new Doctor's redesigned sonic screwdriver resembles a 'sex toy'. And, to prove this, they scoured social media and found a grand total of four rank and disgraceful arseholes whinging about such abject nonsense. Four.
The latest issue of the Doctor Who Magazine was released this very week and features an exclusive interview with Chris Chibnall about the preparations which took place to reveal Jodie Whittaker as the new Doctor. It is available from all good newsagents (and, some bad ones too).
Fifteen years after Buffy The Vampire Slayer ended, the title character may be about to rise from the grave. No, dear blog reader, it's not 1 April. Yes, this blogger is every single bit as surprised as you, no doubt, are by this discombobulation. Whether this is a good idea or not, only time will tell.
It is not the revival starring Sarah Michelle Gellar that many fans have been wanting for a decade or more - that will likely never happen - but series creator Joss Whedon is reported to be 'involved' in a new TV version of Buffy. Whedon is set to 'executive produce' the reboot - meaning, whilst he retains a financial stake in the franchise, he is likely to have pretty much sod-all to do with the day-to-day nuts and bolts of the new show. The actual writing and showrunning duties will be handled Monica Owusu-Breen, whose previous CV includes work on Alias, Lost, Fringe and Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. The project is still in its early stages - and, it was not clear initially whether this would be a complete remake or a continuation of the original series with new characters (but, see below) - but the production is expected to cast a black lead actress in order for the series to 'feel richly diverse.''Like the original, some aspects of the series could be seen as metaphors for issues facing us all today,' their description of the new Buffy The Vampire Slayer claims. There were rumours that such a project could be in the works earlier this year when FOX TV group chair Gary Newman confirmed that a either Buffy revival or a reboot was something he had discussed with Whedon 'frequently.' Whedon has kept up the continuing story of the Buffy universe through a series of comics. He is also quite busy these days, producing Freeform's detective series Pippa Smith: Grown-Up Detective and recently signing a deal with HBO to write his own Victorian-era series The Nevers. FOX TV is expected to begin pitching its Buffy series to streaming services and cable channels this summer.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer, which Whedon adapted from the - really not very good - 1992 movie that he had written, of course helped establish him as a creator and Gellar as a household name. It was a game-changing hit which put the fledgling WB Network on the map and was a series which developed a devoted following across the world. It also gave this blogger a jolly nice career for several years writing extensively about the series (you knew that, right?) That helped to make the Buffy franchise into a lucrative property for FOX TV, which used the series' success to get a bigger license fee from UPN in the show's controversial move from its original home in 2001. Buffy also spawned a successful spin-off, Angel, which was broadcast on the WB for five seasons.
Subsequently, the writer of the new Buffy The Vampire Slayer series assured fans that their favourite Chosen One and all of her Scooby Gang buddies were entirely safe from being rebooted. Some fans were keen on the idea of revisiting the show, but there was a loud contingent angry about the idea of anyone but Sarah Michelle Gellar or the original cast playing those beloved characters. And, you don't want to see angry Buffy The Vampire Slayer fans, dear blog reader, it's not a pretty sight. Monica Owusu-Breen has since shared a statement on her Twitter account to 'clarify' that she has 'no intention' of rebooting any of the characters and appeared to suggest that her version would focus on an entirely new Slayer. 'For some genre writers it's Star Wars. Buffy The Vampire Slayer is my Star Wars,' she began. 'Before I became a writer, I was a fan. For seven seasons, I watched Buffy Summers grow up, find love, kill that love. I watched her fight, and struggle and slay. There is only one Buffy. One Xander, one Willow, Giles, Cordelia, Oz, Tara, Kendra, Faith, Spike, Angel. They can't be replaced. Joss Whedon's brilliant and beautiful series can't be replicated. I wouldn't try to. But here we are, twenty years later and the world seems a lot scarier. So maybe, it could be time to meet a new Slayer. And that's all I can say.' Her statement, seemingly, leaves the door open to the new series being a continuation of the original Buffy, which could allow for some original cast to return. All of which suddenly sounds a Hellmouth of lot more interesting than, for instance, the currently in-production 'let's pretend the originals never happened' remakes of Charmed and Roswell.
News of the proposed Buffy revival brought a schlew (s'cuse the pun) of retrospective articles in some of the broadsheets - the best of which, by a distance, was Jonathan Bernstein's piece in the Torygrah, How Buffy saved Doctor Who: Six ways the Vampire Slayer changed pop culture. Which is highly recommended if you've got a few moments to spare.
The third episode of From The North favourite Picnic At Hanging Rock broadly maintained the quality of the previous two, as the Torygraph's review confirms. As opposed to some abject prick of no importance at the Daily Scum Express doing a scour of social media, finding half-a-dozen whinging malcontents with diarrhoea-for-brains on Twitter having a reet moan and alleging that Picnic At Hanging Rock viewers RAGE over 'weird' plot: 'Three hours I'll never get back'. Yes. All six of them. Next ...
Game Of Thrones' final series will, seemingly, not feature two-hour episodes. Last year, HBO executive Casey Bloys got some fans extremely excited about the prospect of longer episodes for series eight when he was quoted as saying: 'I imagine [the episodes will] be longer but I'm not sure [how long]. We haven't had that discussion yet because I don't know how long the episodes are going to be. Two hours per episode seems like it would be excessive, but it's a great show, so who knows?' A year on, with Game Of Thrones' last episodes in the process of being edited, Bloys appears to have a better idea of episode lengths and is no longer talking through his ringpiece. Although he did not say exactly how long the final six episodes were going to be, he did confirm that none of them will be two hours. 'Not two hours,' he told Entertainment Weekly. 'They are not going to be [two hours long]. Not that I've seen, anyway.' Bloys added that he is 'not certain' when fans can expect to see the trailer for the final series, adding: 'I would guess [this year], but I don't know. I think [the finale is] epic. I think fans are going to love it. I think it's a fitting way for one of the greatest shows in the history of television to go out and that people are going to be very happy. There's going to be a lot of conversation.'
Westworld's second series was always going to leave viewers with more questions than answers, but some perhaps weren't expecting as many questions as they got. While series two's finale certainly got fans talking - and, for what it's worth, this blogger thought it was great - the SF series has been faced with harsh criticism from some whinging malcontents who enjoy being spoon-fed all the answers for being 'too confusing.' The worst crime that one can commit in television these days, seemingly, being to ask viewers to actually do some of the work and use their brains. Addressing Westworld's divisive arc, HBO president Casey Bloys has dismissed the idea that any 'backlash' from viewers was 'widespread.' Which, of course, it wasn't, it was - as usual - a few dozen whinging whingers on social media. Speaking at the TCA summer press tour, Bloys argued that the 'beauty' of Westworld is its ability to encourage such strong opinions. 'What I love about Westworld is the people who love it really love it,' he told TVLine. 'Even the people who dislike it [want to discuss it]. For a show to arouse that kind of feeling, that's what we want.' Defending the 'unique' show, the HBO executive went on to say that Westworld, by its nature, demands something of its viewers. 'It requires your attention. It's a unique show and that's what we look for,' he said. Fortunately, it's all right to be a little lost when it comes to Westworld - after all, one of its leads recently admitted she had 'no idea what was happening. At all.' Evan Rachel Wood, who plays Dolores, explained: 'We shot out of order, so most of the time - I mean, it was insane to be an actor on season two. I don't know how I feel about it.'
The long-awaited Deadwood TV movie is finally happening. HBO gave the project a greenlight at the TCA press tour on Wednesday, three years after it was first reported that HBO was 'in talks' with series creator David Milch to revive the Western drama for a one-off film. 'All of these people worked hard to get this together,' Casey Bloys told the press. 'It's been a logistics nightmare getting all the cast members' schedules together, but we are there. It is greenlit.' The current plans are for production to begin in October - as Ian McShane recently predicted - with an eye for the movie to be broadcast next spring. Bloys cautioned those dates aren't 'set it stone.' Original series director Daniel Minahan will return for the reunion, as will much of the classic cast. Bloys didn't specify any names, but McShane, Paula Malcomson and Kim Dickens have all expressed interest to return. 'I think it would be great,' Kim Dickens recently told the Digital Spy website. 'A lot of the cast and I have remained friends and I think all of us would love to finish it. It always felt like such a disturbance to have ended it so abruptly. It really just needed one more season to finish.'
The short trailer for Star Trek: Discovery released last week establishes that Mister Spock will be a crucial part of series two. Or, more accurately, the absence of Spock will be a crucial part of series two. CBS All Access offered a sneak preview of the new episodes during its Comic-Con panel on Friday, along with confirmation that the new series will arrive on CBS All Access in the US and Netflix in the UK next January. In the meantime, there will be four fifteen-minute shorts premiering later this year to hold fans over until the series proper arrives. Of particular note in the trailer is producers' decision to use Lenny Kravitz's 'Fly Away' as a backing track. Aside from the musical accompaniment, the big news is that the distress call from the starship Enterprise at the end of series one was actually a way for that ship's captain, Christopher Pike (played by Anson Mount), to assume command of the Discovery. Pike takes control because little red bursts of energy have been popping up across thirty thousand light years of space and Starfleet isn't sure if they're 'a greeting or a declaration.' Whilst the crew investigate those strange energy bursts, Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) learns from Pike that her half-brother, Spock, had 'disappeared' from Starfleet, supposedly because he had 'run into a question he couldn't answer.'
From The North favourite Endeavour's sixth series has started filming and Detective Sergeant Morse has a new look. Each story in series six of the popular crime drama will, once again, be written by series creator Russell Lewis, who has scripted all twenty three episodes to date. As well as a first-look image of Morse, Shaun Evans has been confirmed as the director of one of the new episodes. Morse's character will be seen starting a new role as a uniformed officer at the Woodstock police department and embracing the times with a Jason King-style moustache. Set in 1969, the tragic murder of George Fancy hangs heavy over the team, with the case still unsolved. Returning alongside Evans are Roger Allam as Fred Thursday, Anton Lesser as Reginald Bright, Sean Rigby as Jim Strange, James Bradshaw as Max DeBryn, Sara Vickers as Joan Thursday, Abigail Thaw as Dorothea Frazil and Caroline O'Neill as Win Thursday. New cast include boss Ronnie Box played by Simon Harrison and Alan Jago played by Richard Riddell. Lewis said of series six: 'As our story reaches the last year of the 1960s and mankind makes its giant leap, all at Team Endeavour look forward to exploring further early chapters in the casebook of Colin Dexter's beloved creation.'
The BBC has responded to 'utter nonsense' tabloid-inspired rumours that Miranda Hart has been 'banned' from rejoining the cast of Call The Midwife. The Sun reports shit-stirred that Miranda pulled out of a return last year 'at the last minute' due to illness - prompting writers to redraft scripts that had reintroduced her character. Replying to allegations that the show felt 'messed about' by the actress, the BBC Press Office tweeted: 'This story is utter nonsense! We'd welcome Miranda back with open arms.' Utter nonsense? In the Sun? Surely not? The statement attached to the tweet read: 'The creative team at Call The Midwife remain extremely close to Miranda and hugely value the contribution Chummy made to the first four series of the show. Sadly, the timing wasn't right for her to return in 2016, but the door is always open. We would welcome her with open arms should she ever be free and want to come back to Nonnatus House.' Earlier this year, it was confirmed that Hart is currently attached to an untitled project which will tackle her battle with anxiety. Set to run for one hour, the documentary sees Miranda undergo a twenty one-day 'brain detox' which is designed to help anxious individuals 'rewire their brains and overcome toxic thoughts.' This blogger could certainly do with one of those. Frequently. Reflecting on her mental health previously, Hart said: 'There's a lot of talk about comedians being depressed and I think, in many cases, it's absolutely true. I definitely have that side to my personality – naturally my glass is half-empty – so I make a conscious effort to keep the positive attitude going.'
After three series, USA Network's Colony has officially been cancelled. According to Deadline, the drama's recent viewing figures have 'dipped dramatically,' making it the lowest averaging series of all the broadcaster's products. The drama starred Josh Holloway and Sarah Wayne Callies as a married couple 'fighting to protect their family during an alien invasion.' Its initial and second series' were broadcast to what were described at the time as 'strong viewer ratings' and 'became the number one scripted cable series on Thursday nights in total viewers through its first two seasons.' However, Colony suffered from behind-the-scenes disturbances. After not securing a California tax credit, the production was forced to relocate from Los Angeles to Vancouver - remoulding the storyline in the process.
Arthur Darvill will not return to DC's Legends Of Tomorrow next series. Arty's character, Rip Hunter, sacrificed his life to save the Legends and stop the monstrous Mallus last series but, this is a show about time-travel after all, so a comeback wasn't totally off the table. Until now. 'I believe he's done, for this season,'Legends showrunner Phil Klemmer told the Digital Spy website at Comic-Con. 'But, I mean, Arthur Darvill is the greatest. We've got a terrible habit of killing the greatest people. It's totally stupid.' Klemmer had previously hinted that Rip could still return to the show 'in future,' saying: 'Because it's a time travel show and because we never saw a body, anything is possible. I think Arthur is totally willing to come back and play with us if we have a cool idea.' Darvill started out as a series regular on Legends, before appearing in a recurring capacity in the second and third series.
Millions of TV viewers are unable to watch UKTV channels including Dave and Gold after Virgin Media's removal of the network from set-top boxes on Sunday morning following what is described - by the Gruniad Morning Star if not anyone more reliable - as 'a business dispute.' After months of talks between the firms failed to solve an impasse over fees, ten channels, including five which are free-to-air, disappeared from subscribers' televisions overnight. The dispute, which came after Virgin sought what UKTV called 'a multi-million pound cut' in fees, leaves fans of shows including Judge Romesh, Harrow and Red Dwarf unable to watch some of their favourite programmes. Unless they watch them on Freeview, obviously. Virgin's four million TV viewers were also left unable to access UKTV on-demand services on programmes such as the wretchedly unfunny comedy game show Taskmaster via their Virgin Media sets. So, every cloud has a silver lining. Free-to-air channels Dave, Drama, Home, Really and Yesterday, along with paid-for channels Gold, Alibi, Eden, Good Food and W were replaced on Virgin's platforms on Sunday morning. Virgin Media has accused the broadcaster of seeking 'inflated sums' to provide its paid channels and linking those to provision of free channels such as Dave and Home. David Bouchier, Virgin TV's chief digital entertainment officer, said that the free channels would be restored 'immediately' when it gained UKTV's permission. 'We have been in extensive discussions with UKTV but we have not been able to reach an agreement which reflects the reality of how people are watching television in the Twenty First Century. UKTV is insisting on holding back its channels, like Dave, which are freely available over the air and online, unless we pay inflated sums of money for its paid channels like Gold,' he whinged. The dispute also covers UKTV's availability on Virgin's on-demand service. The BBC holds back the video-on-demand rights to its programming, instead selling them to players such as Netflix - which, since they made the programmes in the first place and commercial exploitation of of them is their absolute right. Virgin Media claimed - idiotically - that this strategy was 'no longer acceptable' as viewers 'expect' to be able to watch shows on demand. UKTV's chief executive, Darren Childs, said that it 'could not accept' the 'drastic' cut in price that Virgin was seeking to show the channels. 'We are hugely disappointed for the many customers who are losing out because our channels are no longer available through Virgin Media,' he said. 'We completely understand their frustration and would love to continue to bring them the shows and channels that they're so passionate about, but we need a fair price to support our growing investment in programmes. The reality is that we just can't accept the drastic price cut that Virgin wants.' Steve North, the head of comedy and entertainment for UKTV, said that the company provided 'thousands of hours of on-demand content' to Virgin, with viewings of its programmes via the service up by a third over the year. He said any dispute with the BBC over the way it chose to distribute its programmes 'should be taken up with the corporation.' He said that 'conversations' between UKTV and Virgin were continuing, adding: 'Our door is absolutely open.' According to UKTV, 'around four million households' were no longer able to access the channels after the midnight deadline passed. The ten channels are still available on other TV platforms including Sky, BT, Talk Talk, as well as Freeview and Freesat. Viewers can also watch them online via UKTV Play.
Duane Henry, who used to play Clayton Reeves in NCIS, has told BBC 5Live that it is 'quite humbling' to hear that the Prime Minister watches the popular drama. Theresa May revealed she watches the popular US crime drama 'to relax.' Personally, if this blogger was involved in a TV show that the Prime Minister claimed to be a fan of, he would tell her to sod off and get on with doing her job of ruining the country but, perhaps that's just this blogger. Henry told 5Live's Phil Williams that he was 'quite blown away' but he is hoping no-one tells the PM what happens to his character. If the Prime Minister happens to be reading From The North and is curious, Reeves gets very shot and killed whilst protecting Abbey from what appears to be a street robbery but is, actually, an attempted assassination organised by a minor character from half-a-dozen series' ago who is out for revenge. Don't worry, though, Gibbs and co thorough;y get the bastard and end his naughty murdering ways. But, Abbey is so upset by her friend's death that she leaves the series ... for some reason that was explained but didn't seem to make an awful lot of sense. Anyway, hope that hasn't spoiled the episode too much, Prime Minister. Now, get back sorting out the mess you and your mates have created over Brexit and leave watching telly to those of us who do it for a living.
Media watchdog Ofcom - a politically appointed quango, elected by no-one - has called on ITV, Channel Four and Channel Five to improve their children's programming. A review by Ofcom has found 'a lack of original shows for older children,' a 'limited range of factual programmes' and 'not enough on-screen diversity.' In a letter to the commercial public service broadcasters, Ofcom asked each channel to get their shit together and 'develop a robust plan' for improvement by March 2019. All three channels have cut back their original children's programming over the last decade. Ofcom said that it wants the channels 'to revitalise their approach to how and what they offer to young audiences.' In particular, the regulator said that the broadcasters should 'find innovative ways to use the Internet' to appeal to younger viewers. Ofcom pointed out three main issues with the channels' children's programmes. They said there is A lack of original, high-quality programmes specifically made for older children across all programme genres, a limited range of programmes that help children to understand the world around them and a limited range of original, high quality children's programmes that allow UK children of all ages and backgrounds to see themselves and their lives reflected on screen. Between 2010 and 2017, Ofcom noted that TV viewing dropped by forty per cent for children aged four to nine and by forty seven per cent for children aged ten to fifteen. More young people are watching YouTube and almost half of households with children have Netflix. Ofcom said that there had been 'a continuing decline' in PSBs' investment in original children's programming. ITV reduced the amount of new UK-made children's shows on its main channel from one hundred and fifty eight hours in 2006 to forty seven hours in 2017. Channel Five reduced the amount of new UK-made programmes aimed at pre-school children from one hundred and fifty hours in 2006 to thirty two in 2017. Channel Four does not show any new UK-made programmes made for children. The company has a duty to provide shows that appeal to older children, which it defines as aged ten to fourteen - and showed twenty one hours of this in 2017. 'Channel Four has a strong relationship with young audiences and as part of our strategy to provide content which appeals to the tastes and interests of older children we continue to invest in a wide range of popular programming across both drama and factual,' claimed a Channel Four spokesperson. One or two people even believed them. 'We will look at Ofcom's findings closely and continue to explore new ways of engaging with this audience.' An ITV spokeswomen declined to comment on the Ofcom review. The BBC's children's offering was not part of the report because Ofcom looks at the corporation's plans for children's broadcasting as part of its responsibilities under the BBC charter and agreement.
Supergirl is to become the first live-action TV series to feature a transgender superhero. Activist and actor Nicole Maines, who is transgender, will play the role of Nia Nal, who becomes known as Dreamer. 'It seems only fitting that we have a trans superhero for trans kids to look up to,' she said after the announcement at Comic-Con in San Diego, last weekend. Nia Nal will be introduced in Supergirl's upcoming fourth series. The character has been described as 'a soulful young transgender woman with a fierce drive to protect others.' Speaking to Variety, Maines said: 'I want fans to take away an understanding of trans people. We can be anybody, we can be who we want, we can be superheroes - because in many ways we are.' Shown in the UK on Sky, Supergirl is based on the DC Comics character of the same name and is set in the same universe as other comic book adaptations such as The Flash and Arrow. Melissa Benoist stars as the title character, who is Superman's cousin and one of the last surviving residents of Krypton. You knew all that, right? Nia Nal, will be introduced as an employee of CatCo Worldwide Media, the organisation where much of the series is set. Maines says that she wants viewers to realise that a trans character's plotline doesn't have to revolve around them being trans. 'Nia is so much more than just a trans superhero. She is a reporter, she is hopeful, she's powerful, wise and such a good friend.' In 2014, Maines and her family went to court after her school prevented her from using the girls' toilet. Which was disgraceful as she was bustin' for a wee at the time. As a result, Maine's Supreme Judicial Court ruled the school had violated the state's human rights act. Nicole has gone on to an acting career, winning a 2016 GLAAD award for her performance in Royal Pains.
Adam Hills says the real impact of The Last Leg won't be seen until 2020, adding it that the show 'accidentally' broke barriers about disability. The Australian comedian, a particular favourite of this blogger who fronts the Channel Four show, says that it put the 'awesome' Paralympic athletes centre stage, while getting laughs from moments like 'the blind guy who misses the long jump and lands on someone.''If all you're doing is pointing out the funny in the Paralympics then you're mocking disabled people,' he says. 'But if you're celebrating them as well, then you're covering both bases, you're being balanced.' The show - which also features Alex Brooker and Josh Widdecombe - started out as a comedic wrap-up of the day's events at the Paralympics. They 'accidentally broke down a few barriers,' Hills explains, adding: 'We didn't set out to, that wasn't our plan, but we knew that would be a side effect of doing what we did.' Rio was next to host the games in 2016, but Hills explains this wasn't enough time for 2012 to have an impact. 'You think it'll happen four years later, but no, those guys in Rio started planning well before 2012 so it's not until 2020 in Tokyo that we'll see the impact. I know for a fact that the Japanese broadcasters have said "let's use the Paralympics to change perceptions - we're not going to just cover it, we're going to affect social change because that's what happened in 2012."'The Last Leg introduced the groundbreaking 'is it ok' feature in 2012. Viewers were invited to tweet questions that could be considered inappropriate, like: 'Is it okay to fancy the Para-athletes?' These questions were then answered on-air, reflecting the show's mix of laughs and serious content. Hills sees the show as part of 'the perfect storm' of 'everyone in London' thinking the Olympics would 'go badly' and then saying: '"That was great, now let's do it again, what can we do?" And then, the Paralympics came around with billboards that said "thanks for the warm-up," so people were going into it with a positive attitude. We went into it with positivity and a little bit of edge. It was about disability, so we were rooting for the underdog - they did well, so we were rooting for the winners.' The show's continuing popularity meant people took notice of the Paralympics, not least because of the success of the British Para-athletes, who came third overall with thirty four golds and a whopping one hundred and twenty medals. Hills is ruminating about the success of the show as part of his self-penned book of memoirs, Best Foot Forward. It paints a colourful picture of his happy childhood and early failures and successes as a stand-up, before romping through his TV career. He writes about years of early slog and travel, with late-night gigs, local radio and plenty of knock-backs. But it never crossed his mind to give up on comedy. It is at this point that he makes a surprising confession - about an addiction. He can't get enough of the buzz from performing live comedy, saying it feels like 'a cleansing vomit. I don't think I'll ever not do stand-up,' he says. 'It boils down to the addictive nature of how good it feels when a gig goes well. If I haven't done it for a while, I start getting really edgy and I can't work out why I'm unhappy and unfulfilled. Then I go and do a gig, and it's like "that's better, I needed to get that out of my system'."' Hills, who was born without a right foot, also writes briefly about this as well. His parents 'received the invaluable advice to "treat him like any other normal kid,"' which they did, by enrolling him in a gymnastics class. He also heeded early advice from a veteran at Sydney Comedy Store, who said that he should stop including his foot in his act until he was 'good enough.' Hills also says that he is 'surprisingly introverted and shy,' despite being known for his his TV rants on topics from child poverty to Donald Rump. But this hasn't stopped him from inviting a variety of politicians on the show, which is now on its fourteenth series and takes a satirical spin around the week's news. He managed to persuade Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn to step out of a glamorous car onto a red carpet, wearing a white fur coat. Former Labour leader Ed Miliband went so far as to lip-sync to A-Ha's 'Take On Me'. 'They all come out of the show looking good,' Hills says, adding that his favourite Tory was Baroness Sayeeda Warsi, who won lots of fans 'just by being funny. She was amazing, she had a lot of people saying more Tories should be like her afterwards. Anna Soubry did quite well, but Sayeeda Warsi was the best of the Tories,' he adds. 'When Nick Clegg appeared, he said to me: "You get slated in the press, you get your own party turning against you and then your press secretary says do you want to appear on The Last Leg and you think how much worse can it get?!"' Hills is happy to get serious though and when asked about Paralympic sports such as boccia - which don't appear to merit live Paralympic TV coverage yet - he pauses for thought. 'I think sometimes the lack of coverage is to do with the host broadcaster, sometimes it's to do with just bad planning.' Citing other Paralympic sports that have also been overlooked by live TV, including the wheelchair marathon and equestrian events, he adds: 'I would have thought that the lack of coverage for boccia might be that the sport isn't considered exciting enough, the physics of the ball rolling - it's like lawn bowls. Having said that, I bloody love lawn bowls on TV! I'd love to see more boccia coverage, especially when you've got the GB team winning medals - that's what people want to see.' As for the future, he'll continue working on The Last Leg, plus a documentary about playing in the disability rugby league. Not surprisingly, he also has plans up his sleeve for more stand-up. Hills is pleased that disability in comedy appears to be much more visible. Lee Ridley won Britain's Got Talent, while Robert White, a comic with Asperger's, came second. 'There are a few disabled comics coming through, which is bad news for the rest of us,' he says. 'I think what's really interesting and what's a good sign is when people watch The Last Leg now, they complain there's not enough diversity on it. When you consider that two out of three of us are disabled, you've got hand deformities, leg deformities and people are asking "why aren't there more women and people of colour?" You go "oh wow," we have ticked that one diversity box so hard in indelible ink, that people just ignore us. So that's a good sign. It means we have to move on to the next thing.'
A television advert for Heinz baked beans has been thoroughly banned - for a second time - for breaching regulation on nutrition and health claims made on foods. The commercial, seen in February 2018, depicts a man drinking a protein shake as he arrives home after a run. His wife then takes some baked beans from the microwave and says: 'We're just having some beans.' A caption on the screen follows, stating: 'High in protein. High in Fibre. Low in Fat,' before a can of baked beans is shown with the accompanying text: 'Good for you, without going on about it.' They can also make you fart like a machine gun but they're 'not going on about that' either it would seem. The original advert was banned by the Advertising Standards Authority last year for claiming that baked beans had as much protein, fibre and fat as the protein shake. Although the advert was amended to not make a direct comparison, the ASA said that the same message had been implied. 'We noted that the ad did not state that Heinz Beanz had greater or fewer nutritional benefits than the protein shake, however, we considered that the overall impression created by the ad was that Heinz Beanz contained as much protein, fibre and fat as a typical protein shake,' the ASA ruling stated. 'We considered consumers would therefore interpret the ad as presenting Heinz Beanz as a tastier and more appetising, but nutritionally equivalent, alternative to consuming a protein shake.' The ASA concluded that 'the ad must not appear again in its current form.' A spokesperson for Heinz told the Digital Spy website that the company is 'disappointed' with the decision. 'Heinz Beanz are naturally high in protein and fibre as well as being low in fat. That is not in question,' the spokesperson commented. 'Our popular TV ad, "Good without going on about it," simply aimed to be a memory jogger about the goodness of beans in a humorous way which we believed fully met advertising requirements.'
A landmark Spanish-themed building in the North East of England has been restored to its former glory. The Spanish City in Whitley Bay, with its distinctive white dome, was built in 1910 and was a popular visitor attraction before falling into disrepair in the 1980s.This blogger was a regular visitor as a child. Following a ten million quid restoration, the grade II-listed building reopened on Monday. The new 'leisure hub' features cafes, restaurants and a wedding venue and will host public events such as fairs and cinema screenings. When it was built, the dome was the largest freestanding dome in the UK after St Paul's Cathedral. It housed a concert hall, restaurant, roof garden and tearoom - and later a ballroom and fairground were added to the site. The attraction was immortalised in the 1981 Dire Straits song 'Tunnel Of Love'. North Tyneside Council invested four million knicker in the work, secured three million smackers from the Heritage Lottery Fund and gained a two-and-a-half million quid grant from the Coastal Communities Fund. Norma Redfearn, North Tyneside's mayor, said: 'The new Spanish City looks absolutely wonderful. This is the start of an exciting new chapter in the rich history of this iconic building and is the culmination of years of hard work by the council and our partners.'
The civil service made an extraordinary error after publishing a satirical poster encouraging parents to shoot their children if they suspect they have contracted rabies. The current issue of Civil Service Quarterly features the poster - produced by the fictional council of Scarfolk - on page twenty. The fictional town of Scarfolk was created by writer and designer Richard Littler as 'a dystopian satire of the 1970s that somehow leaks into and reflects on current affairs.' It has developed a cult following for its Ballardian exploration of the 1970s and a suburbanised idea of totalitarianism, pagan ritual and Scarfolk Council's comical obsession with keeping rabies at bay. This blogger is a huge fan. Despite being, ostensibly, in North West England (circa 1979), Scarfolk is primarily an online creation - although as its following grows it is increasingly featuring in other media. Littler toldSky News that he had 'no idea' how the fake poster ended up in the magazine, although added: 'I'd like to think a Scarfolk fan and/or cult member infiltrated the civil service - as my book predicts!' Scarfolk has been explored in two books, Discovering Scarfolk and the forthcoming Scarfolk Annual. A television development co-written by Will Smith, who also wrote for The Thick Of It and Veep, is currently in development. Littler said that he created Scarfolk 'partly because, as a Brit abroad who is not allowed to vote in UK affairs, I feel the need to have some kind of say. That's the serious bit, but it's also just for the sake of being silly,' he told Sky News. 'I also do it because I'm trying to reassess/investigate the 1970s, which for kids of the period, was a very weird time. Everything was strange and absurd.' A hastily updated version of the magazine has replaced the Scarfolk poster with the Lord Kitchener Wants You poster from 1914, encouraging men to enlist in the British Army during the First World War. The Cabinet Office has declined to comment.
Skywatchers will be treated to the longest 'blood Moon' eclipse of the Twenty First Century on Friday. As it rises, during this total eclipse, Earth's satellite will turn a striking shade of red or ruddy brown. The 'totality' period, when light from the Moon is totally obscured, will last for one hour, forty three minutes. At least part of the eclipse is visible from Europe, the Middle East, Africa, Australia, most of Asia and South America. In the UK, rain clouds permitting, the Moon will appear entirely red - fully eclipsed by Earth - from when it rises at 9pm to 10.15pm. On the same night and over the coming days, Mars will be at its closest point to Earth since 2003 - visible as a 'bright red star' where skies are clear. 'This is actually almost as long as a lunar eclipse could be,' Professor Tim O'Brien, an astrophysicist at University of Manchester, explained. It coincides not only with Mars's close approach, but with what he described as 'a procession of planets' - a line-up of our celestial neighbours that will give skywatchers a particularly good view of Venus, Jupiter and Saturn. Because the Moon is far away from Earth - relatively speaking - its orbit is an ellipse, so it moves closer and further and looks larger and smaller from Earth. 'Mars will look like this beautiful bright red star just below the Moon,' said Professor O'Brien. 'Every couple of years or so, the Earth overtakes Mars on the inside as it orbits the Sun, so Mars is closest to us. And because of the elliptical shape of the orbit, it's even closer than normal; it really is a great time to spot Mars.' O'Brien explained that people in the UK would 'need to have a clear South-Eastern horizon as the Moon comes up' in order to see it. So, from the UK and Europe, the South-East will be the place to look for the rising, eclipsing Moon with bright red Mars below. But for views of elsewhere in the Solar System, Jupiter will be in the Southern sky and Venus in the West. Doctor Emily Brunsden, director of the University of York's Astrocampus, added that this eclipse was a 'micro blood Moon.''This is a total eclipse at a time in its orbit when it is close to being the farthest from Earth, or at apogee,' she said. 'Hence the Moon is fractionally smaller than usual.'
Researchers have found evidence of an existing body of liquid water on Mars. What they believe to be a lake sits under the planet's south polar ice cap and is about twelve miles across. Previous research found possible signs of intermittent liquid water flowing on the martian surface, but this is the first sign of a persistent body of water on the planet in the present day. Apart from the 2009 Doctor Who episode The Waters Of Mars, obviously. Although in that, the water was evil so that doesn't really count. Lake beds like those explored by NASA's Curiosity Rover show water was present on the surface of Mars in the past. However, the planet's climate has since cooled due to its thin atmosphere, leaving most of its water locked up in ice. The result is exciting because scientists have long searched for signs of present-day liquid water on Mars, but these have come up empty or yielded ambiguous findings. It will also interest those studying the possibilities for life beyond Earth - though it does not yet raise the stakes in the search for biology. The discovery was made using Marsis, a radar instrument on board the European Space Agency's Mars Express orbiter. 'It's probably not a very large lake,' said Professor Roberto Orosei from the Italian National Institute for Astrophysics, who led the study. Marsis wasn't able to determine how thick the layer of water might be, but the research team estimate that it is a minimum of one metre. 'This really qualifies this as a body of water. A lake, not some kind of meltwater filling some space between rock and ice, as happens in certain glaciers on Earth,' Orosei added. Radar instruments like Marsis examine the surface and immediate subsurface of the planet by sending out a signal and examining what is bounced back. The continuous white line at the top of the radar results above marks the beginning of the South Polar Layered Deposit; a filo pastry-like accumulation of water ice and dust. Beneath this, researchers spotted something unusual one and a half kilometres under the ice. 'In light blue you can see where the reflections from the bottom are stronger than surface reflection. This is something that is to us the tell tale sign of the presence of water,' says Orosei. Doctor Manish Patel from the Open University explained: 'We have long since known that the surface of Mars is inhospitable to life as we know it, so the search for life on Mars is now in the subsurface. This is where we get sufficient protection from harmful radiation, and the pressure and temperature rise to more favourable levels. Most importantly, this allows liquid water, essential for life.' This principle of following the water is key to astrobiology - the study of potential life beyond Earth. So while the findings suggest water is present, they don't confirm anything further. 'We are not closer to actually detecting life,' Patel told BBC News, 'but what this finding does is give us the location of where to look on Mars. It is like a treasure map - except in this case, there will be lots of "X's marking the spots."' The water's temperature and chemistry could also pose a problem for any potential Martian organisms. In order to remain liquid in such cold conditions (the research team estimate between minus ten and minus thirty Celsius where it meets the ice above), the water likely has a great many salts dissolved in it. 'It is plausible that the water may be an extremely cold, concentrated brine, which would be pretty challenging for life,' explained Doctor Claire Cousins, an astrobiologist from the University of St Andrews. While its existence provides a tantalising prospect for those interested in the possibility of past or present life on Mars, the lake's characteristics must first be verified by further research. 'What needs to be done now,' explained Doctor Matt Balme from the Open University, 'is for the measurements to be repeated elsewhere to look for similar signals and, if possible, for all other explanation to be examined and - hopefully - ruled out. Maybe this could even be the trigger for an ambitious new Mars mission to drill into this buried water-pocket - like has been done for sub-glacial lakes in Antarctica on Earth,' he added. Scientists have previously claimed to find bacterial life in the buried depths of Antarctica's Lake Vostok, but drilling on Mars would make for an ambitious project indeed. 'Getting there and acquiring the final evidence that this is indeed a lake will not be an easy task,' said Professor Orosei. 'It will require flying a robot there which is capable of drilling through one and a half kilometres of ice. This will certainly require some technological developments that at the moment are not available.' The findings were reported in the journal Science.
New computer simulations indicate that 'a massive body twice the size of Earth or even larger' crashed into Uranus during the formation of the solar system, knocking the gas giant onto its side and possibly explaining to its colder-than-expected upper atmosphere and the formation of its rings and moons. The research confirms a previous study that blamed such a collision with a proto-planet made up of rock and ice for Uranus' oddball axial tilt – 97.77 degrees – roughly parallel to the plane of the solar system. As a result, the planet's poles take turns facing the sun as Uranus swing around in its orbit, each experiencing forty two years of sunlight followed by forty two years of darkness. A bit like Sunderland. 'Uranus spins on its side, with its axis pointing almost at right angles to those of all the other planets in the solar system,' said Jacob Kegerreis, a PhD researcher at Durham University's Institute for Computational Cosmology and lead author of a paper published in The Astrophysical Journal. 'This was almost certainly caused by a giant impact, but we know very little about how this actually happened and how else such a violent event affected the planet.' Kegerreis and a team of experts ran more than fifty impact scenarios using 'a high-powered super computer' to recreate a variety of initial conditions, including the impacting body’s mass and the angle of the collision, to identify the most likely explanation. 'Our findings confirm that the most likely outcome was that the young Uranus was involved in a cataclysmic collision with an object twice the mass of Earth, if not larger, knocking it on to its side and setting in process the events that helped create the planet we see today.' One major question mark is how Uranus managed to keep its atmosphere after such a cataclysmic collision. The simulations show it depends on the angle of the impact. A grazing collision would be enough to knock the planet on its side without blasting all of its atmosphere out into space. The cold temperature of Uranus' upper atmosphere, about minus two hundred and sixteen Celsius, could be explained if debris from the impacting body formed a thin shell that trapped heat from the planet's interior. The research also could help astronomers develop details about how Uranus' moons and ring system formed and how the planet's magnetic field ended up in its current off-centre orientation. 'All the evidence points to giant impacts being frequent during planet formation,' said co-author Luis Teodoro, a scientist with NASA's Ames Research Centere. 'With this kind of research we are now gaining more insight into their effect on potentially habitable exoplanets.'
NASA is preparing to send a probe closer to the Sun than any other spacecraft has ventured, enduring melting heat while zooming through the solar corona to study this outermost part of the stellar atmosphere that gives rise to the solar wind. Although, they're going at night so it should be a bit cooler than if they'd gone during the day. The Parker Solar Probe, a robotic spacecraft the size of a small car, is slated to launch from Cape Canaveral, with 6 August targeted as the potential launch date for the planned seven-year mission. It is set to fly into the Sun's corona within six million kilometres from the solar surface, seven times closer than any previous spacecraft. 'To send a probe where you have not been before is ambitious. To send it into such brutal conditions is highly ambitious,' Nicola Fox, a project scientist from the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, told a news conference on Friday. 'The previous closest pass to the Sun was by a probe called Helios Two, which in 1976 came within forty three million kilometres. By way of comparison, the average distance from the Sun for Earth is one hundred and fifty million kilometres. The corona gives rise to the solar wind, a continuous flow of charged particles that permeates the solar system. Unpredictable solar winds cause disturbances in our planet's magnetic field and can play havoc with communications technology on Earth. NASA hopes the findings will enable scientists to forecast changes in Earth's space environment. 'It is of fundamental importance for us to be able to predict this space weather, much like we predict weather here on Earth,' said Alex Young, a solar scientist at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Centre in Maryland. 'In the most extreme cases of these space weather events, it can actually affect our power grids here on Earth.' The project, with a one and a half million dollar billion price tag, is the first major mission under NASA's 'Living with a Star' programme. The probe is set to use seven Venus flybys over nearly seven years to steadily reduce its orbit around the Sun, using instruments designed to image the solar wind and study electric and magnetic fields, coronal plasma and energetic particles. NASA aims to collect data about the inner workings of the highly magnetised corona. The probe, named after American solar astrophysicist Eugene Newman Parker, will have to survive difficult heat and radiation conditions. It has been outfitted with a heat shield designed to keep its instruments at a tolerable eighty five degrees Fahrenheit even as the spacecraft faces temperatures reaching nearly two thousand five hundred degrees Fahrenheit at its closest pass.
Almost fifty years ago, the late astronaut Neil Armstrong ('he had balls bigger than King Kong' according to Shaun Ryder's Black Grape) made history by becoming the first man to walk on the Moon during the Apollo 11 mission. The astronaut didn't make the journey to the Moon alone, of course. When the Eagle lunar module landed on the Moon's surface on 20 July 1969, with Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on board, some precious keepsakes from home that the astronaut brought along for the ride also made it to the Sea of Tranquillity. Those cherished mementos are now part of Armstrong's private collection of space memorabilia, which will be going up for auction in the fall, the Associated Press reported. 'The collection includes a variety of artefacts from Armstrong's 1969 lunar landing and private mementos that include pieces of a wing and propeller from the 1903 Wright Brothers Flyer that the astronaut took with him to the Moon,' noted the media outlet. All of these items will soon be up for sale in a series of auctions that starts this November and will carry on next year as well when the sales are scheduled for May and November. The sales are being handled by Heritage Auctions, an auction house based in Dallas, which is confident the event will get 'an amazing turnout.' According to Heritage Auctions president Greg Rohan, the public always finds any objects related to the space programme completely fascinating. 'Space is one of the very, very few categories that every single person seems to be interested in,' Rohan said in a statement. Armstrong's private collection and memorabilia came to be set up for auction after the items were taken over by the astronaut's sons, Mark and Rick, upon their father's death in 2012. The brothers set out to preserve these irreplaceable items and started researching each object in order to identify, restore and record its history. 'We felt like the number of people that could help us identify them and give us the historical context was diminishing and that the problem of understanding that context would only get worse over time,' said Mark Armstrong, who noted that his father never gave them any indication on what he wanted to be done with the large number of collectables in his possession. 'He did save all the items, so he obviously felt they were worth saving,' he said. The brothers eventually turned to Collectables Authentication Guaranty, a Florida-based company, which authenticated the artefacts. According to the Business Insider, the Armstrong Family Collection was the first one to be certified by CAG, recently opened in Sarasota. Among the collection's most remarkable items are some sterling silver Robbins Medallions from the Apollo 11 and a rare gold one. These medals were commissioned by the Apollo crew themselves and were flown to space during all the Apollo missions. A US flag, the largest size to make the space trip on the Apollo, is also on the auction list, together with a United Nations flag and various state flags. Armstrong's collection also boasts a gold and diamond pin that the astronaut gifted his wife after he flew it on Gemini VIII - his first spaceflight - and a Purdue University centennial flag (Armstrong's alma mater) that travelled on Apollo 11.
The black hole at the centre of our galaxy has helped astronomers confirm a key prediction of Albert Einstein's theories. By observing a cluster of stars near the hole, they were able to confirm a phenomenon known as 'gravitational redshift.' It occurs when the wavelength of light gets stretched out in response to a gravitational field. The result will help scientists better understand the physics of black holes. The Very Large Telescope in Chile found evidence for Einstein's prediction by observing a star, called S2, that passed through the intense gravitational field of Sagittarius A - the huge black hole at the heart of the Milky Way. The effect they observed, gravitational redshift, occurs as particles of light - photons - climb out of a gravitational well like a black hole. As they do, the light's wavelength gets drawn out. This shifts the wavelength to the red part of the light spectrum - hence the name. It is predicted by Einstein's theory of general relativity, but has never been observed in an intense gravitational field such as that of a black hole before. Until now. Frank Eisenhauer, from the Max Planck Institute for Extraterrestrial Physics in Garching, said that the measurement 'opened the door to more studies' of the physics of black holes. In future, he said, 'we will see many more effects of general relativity in the galactic centre black hole. We will see the orbits of the stars change, we will see light go in circles, we will even see space-time rotate together with the black hole.' Reinhard Genzel, also from MPE, said: 'There is still more work to do to really come as close as you can to the event horizon [the 'point of not return' of the black hole] where you might expect strong deviations from Einstein's theory.' Françoise Delplancke, from the European Southern Observatory, which operates the VLT, said that the laws of physics could only be tested here in the Solar System under particular circumstances. 'So it's very important in astronomy to also check that those laws are still valid where the gravitational fields are very much stronger,' she explained. S2 is one member of a star cluster that surrounds Sagittarius A. These stars reach mind-boggling speeds when they approach the black hole - S2 comes very close to Sagittarius A every sixteen years. Astronomers followed S2 before and after it passed close to the black hole on 19 May 2018, tracking its progress hour-by-hour. When S2 passed by the black hole at a distance just one hundred and twenty times that of the Earth from the Sun, it reached an astonishing orbital velocity of eight thousand kilometres per second. That corresponds to about 2.7 per cent of the speed of light. The astronomers found that light from the star was indeed stretched to longer wavelengths by the very strong gravitational field of Sagittarius A. The results were 'perfectly in line with the theory of general relativity' - and not explained by Sir Isaac Newton's ideas - which exclude such a shift. 'In sport, you would say it was one-nil for Einstein,' said Frank Eisenhauer. Odele Straub, from the Paris Observatory, said: 'What we hope is at some point we will see something in the galactic centre that we can't explain with Einstein's theory - that would be really, really exciting. Because then we could go back to the drawing board and come up with something better.' The astronomers are continuing to observe S2; observations of its trajectory should yield new findings about the extreme conditions around the Milky Way's central black hole. Gravitational redshift occurs because, in order to escape a gravitational well such as a black hole, photons must expend energy. However, at the same time, these photons must travel at a constant speed - the speed of light. Therefore, the photons cannot lose energy by slowing down, but must expend it in another way. This lost energy manifests itself as a shift towards the red end of the light spectrum. The results are published in the journal Astronomy & Astrophysics.
The Crown Prosecution Service has grovellingly apologised to Girls Aloud singer Nicola Roberts for failing to prosecute an ex-boyfriend accused of stalking her. Carl Davies was given a lifetime restraining order in May 2017 for stalking the singer. Davies was later charged with breaching it by looking at her social media, but the case was later dropped by the CPS. Roberts told The Sunday Times that she had been left 'too scared to take the dogs for a walk.' Davies, from Flint, had sent three thousand messages from thirty five fake Twitter accounts to Roberts, after they split in 2008. They included threats to stab and burn her. In May last year, the Afghanistan veteran was given a fifteen-month prison sentence, suspended for two years, after admitting stalking Roberts. He was later charged with breaching the restraining order against her after being accused of viewing Miss Roberts's Instagram posts between July and August 2017. But the CPS subsequently dropped the case because it believed there was 'no realistic prospect of a conviction.' Instead the judge extended the ban to prevent Davies viewing Roberts' social media posts and websites. Now the CPS has apologised to Roberts for failing to prosecute Davies for breaching the restraining order. 'We accept our decision not to prosecute the breach of the order was incorrect,' said a CPS statement. 'We have written to Ms Roberts to apologise and have taken steps to ensure lessons are learned from the case. We fully appreciate the impact stalking and harassment has on victims and we take prosecuting these cases extremely seriously. We regularly update our legal guidance to keep up with changes in technology, including social media platforms.' Roberts told The Sunday Times that her experience had left her 'too scared to keep her window open at night.' The thirty two-year-old said that Davies, whom she dated for eighteen months before their break up in 2008, had started following her again on Instagram after last year's restraining order to let her know that 'he was still watching me.'
Brazilian Doctor Denis Furtado - nicknames Doctor Bumbum in the media - was taken into custody after one of his patients died following a buttocks enhancement procedure, according to press reports. Lilian Calixto, a forty six-year-old mother of two, was pronounced dead last Saturday at a hospital, where she was taken after becoming ill at Furtado's home during the surgery procedure. Local media reports indicated that Furtado took Calixto to the hospital and she was admitted with an abnormally fast heartbeat. Hours later, she died. Furtado promptly did a runner and vanished. He was on the run for several days before police in Rio de Janeiro received an anonymous tip-off about his whereabouts. His mother was also arrested. The doctor has been charged with murder. His mother, meanwhile, stands accused of aiding a fugitive. They have not yet entered pleas. Furtado's lawyer, Naiara Baldanza, told reporters on Wednesday that his client is entirely innocent and had not turned himself in because he was 'in a panicked state.' Whilst on the run, Furtado posted a series of videos to his Instagram page in which he protested his innocence and called Calixto's death 'an accident.' Also arrested was Furtado's nineteen-year-old girlfriend and secretary, identified as Renata Fernandes. She was arrested for suspicion of taking part in the procedure. Furtado was revered as a celebrity surgeon in Brazil, with an Instagram following of more than six hundred thousand users.
An aspiring prophet has been very arrested in Ethiopia after he failed to bring a dead man back to life. Getayawkal Ayele had tried to revive the corpse of Belay Biftu by lying on top of him and repeatedly yelling 'Belay, wake up.' It was - unsurprisingly - not successful and his failure reportedly 'enraged' Biftu family members who began attacking Getayawkal and kicking the shit out of him. He was saved when police arrived shortly afterwards. 'Abusing dead bodies' is a crime under Ethiopian law and a local police commander has told the BBC that the man, whose real job is as a health worker, is now extremely in custody. The incident was filmed and has since 'gone viral on social media' among the sort of planks that enjoy watching nonsense like this. Residents in the small Western town of Galilee, in the Oromia region, said Getayawkal first went to the bereaved family and told them the story of Lazarus - who according to the New Testament was brought back to life by Jesus. They then appear to have agreed to dig up Belay. After the failed resurrection, several members of the family fainted on the spot while others became angry and started beating Getayawkal - at which point police arrived and arrested him.
A newspaper has printed a front-page correction after - wrongly - suggesting that a woman's fortieth birthday meal had become 'a booze-fuelled orgy with sex toys and candlesticks' in 'a dispute over chicken liver parfait.' The Northern Echo claimed that a group of women had indulged in 'lewd sexual behaviour, including passing around sex toys and taking part in sex acts with hotel candlesticks while climbing on restaurant tables and chairs.' The press regulator Ipso decided that the article was 'significantly misleading,' following a complaint from one of the women at the party. She successfully argued that although two members of the group had, indeed, imitated a sex scene with a candelabra - and another had used a unicorn horn to 'imitate a sexual pose' - everyone involved had been fully clothed throughout, so the evening could not be described as 'an orgy.' The woman also suggested that the Northern Echo's reporter, whose story was based on viewing CCTV footage, may have mistaken the 'unicorn horn' for a sex toy. The newspaper originally ran the story last September under the headline: What really happened at Saltburn hotel at the centre of food poisoning claim. This was in response to a complaint by the women that they had become ill after eating paté at Brockley Hall hotel on the North Yorkshire coast. The report drew a link between the actions of the alleged 'sex party' and the alleged food poisoning, which only affected that particular group of diners. The Northern Echo argued that its use of the word 'orgy' was accurate, given that the group had been 'dancing on tables, drinking alcohol and using hotel property and other objects to imitate sexual activity.' Which, to be honest, just sounds like a bloody good night out to this blogger. The newspaper also insisted that it is 'possible to engage in sexual activity without removing one's clothes.' It cited the fact that 'members of the party took it in turn to lie on their backs on a table in the room where they had been eating, while others rubbed a plastic item and candlestick between the person's legs.' The newspaper said that the women then 'took turns' to lick the item, 'while other members of the party pushed plastic objects up their skirts.' The Northern Echo also suggested that this behaviour - and the women's drinking - 'may have been relevant to the way they handled, consumed and reacted to the food, as well as how they recollected the events of the night.' Ipso was having none of it, however and disagreed, concluding that the newspaper had published 'a significantly misleading, prominent front-page headline' and ordered the correction.
A topiarist claims that he is having to make regular repairs to his hedge due to 'drunk people pretending to have sex with it.' Keith Tyssen has maintained his 'privet lady' at his Sheffield home since 2000, but is often woken up in the early hours of the morning by distracted passers-by. 'They're climbing on top of her and pulling her legs apart - you know, it's disgusting,' he said. Tyssen has considered putting up a sign or an alarm in an effort to curb the behaviour. The hedge, which he has sculpted over the past forty years, started off as a Greek God but he changed it into a reclining woman at the turn of the millennium. 'I just peered out at about 4:30 in the morning and there was a guy on top of her and going through the motions of having sex with her,' Tyssen said. 'It makes me feel a bit sick, really. That's just not the way to behave - in lots of ways.' He added: 'It's not always a guy actually, sometimes it's women who climb on her.' The artist and silversmith said that the idea for the woman was inspired by a renowned Sixteenth Century gold sculpture by Benvenuto Cellini called The Saliera. Tyssen added: 'I don't want them to behave like that with my privet lady. She's too privet, or private you know?'
A zoo in Egypt has denied painting black stripes on a donkey to make it look like a zebra after a photo of the animal appeared online. Student Mahmoud Sarhan put the images on Facebook after visiting Cairo's International Garden municipal park. Aside from its small size and pointy ears, there also appeared to be black smudges on the beast's face. The pictures quickly went viral, with alleged 'experts' weighing in on the species of the animal. A vet contacted by local news group Extranews.tv said that a zebra's snout is black, while its stripes are 'more consistent and parallel.' Sarhan told Extranews that the enclosure contained two animals and that both appeared to have been painted. When contacted by local radio station Nogoum FM, the zoo director Mohamed Sultan insisted that the animal was not a fake. This is not the first time that a zoo has been accused of trying to fool its audience. Unable to find a way around the Israeli blockade, a zoo in Gaza painted two donkeys to look like zebras in 2009. Another Gaza zoo put stuffed animals on display in 2012 because of 'the shortages of animals.' In 2013, a Chinese zoo in Henan province tried to pass off a Tibetan mastiff dog as an African lion and in 2017 a zoo in Guangxi province disappointed visitors by exhibiting blow-up plastic penguins.
Makers of the Swiss chocolate bar Toblerone are to scrap its latest controversial incarnation which saw wide gaps between its distinctive triangular chunks. That version was introduced in 2016 to reduce its weight but drew howls of outrage, with some punters likening it to a bike rack. US-based Mondelez International said that the new shape 'had not been a perfect long-term answer' for its customers. No shit? Now, it plans to increase the current size from one hundred and fifty grams to two hundred grams and revert to making it in its traditional shape. When the downsized version was first released, the makers blamed a rise in the cost of ingredients and said that they had to make a decision between changing the look or raising the price. But the new widely-spaced triangles in the lighter bar left fans feeling cheated. On Toblerone's Facebook page, Louise Bennett wrote: 'After a busy day at work I decided to treat myself. I was super excited, until I opened it and discovered half of the pieces missing!' And, Scott Blackadder wrote: 'I was eating mine today and lost my shoe. I found it in one of the gaps in my Toblerone.' Though, he was probably lying. And, that's almost certainly not his real name either. Asked whether falling sales were behind the return to the original shape, Mondelez said that sales of the one hundred and fifty gram bar increased after the shape was changed and 2017 was 'a fantastic year' for Toblerone. It is unclear what the retail price will be of the new two hundred gram bar, due to be on the shelves later this year. On Friday, Mondelez, which owns Cadbury, said that Dairy Milk bars containing thirty per cent less sugar would go on sale from next year after the government challenged the food industry to cut sugar levels.
The first known studio recording of yer actual David Bowie is set for auction - again - after 'being found in an old bread basket.' At least, this is according to a rather excited (and sadly very inaccurate) report on the BBC News website. In actual fact, the tape's existence has been known about since 2001 when it was reported in an issue of Record Collector and there has been at least one previous attempt to auction it - through Christie's - the following year. But, on that occasion, it 'failed to find a buyer' according to Nick Pegg's always reliable The Complete David Bowie. The 1963 demo tape, rejected by Decca, features the sixteen-year-old Bowie - then still known as David Jones - singing 'I Never Dreamed' with his first band Bromley's The Kon-Rads. The tape, 'expected to fetch ten thousand pounds' according to BBC News although where exactly they get that figure from is a matter of conjecture, is being sold by the band's drummer David Hadfield, who 'uncovered it in his loft.' Allegedly. Auctioneer Paul Fairweather described the tape as 'a significant recording, completely unique.' He claimed it offered 'new insight' into Bowie as 'a fledgling musician who would go on to super stardom.' Jones was The Kon-Rads' saxophonist but it was decided that he should sing lead vocals for the tape (or, at least, on that particular song - according to a contemporary report in August 1963 in the Bromley & Kentish Times up to four songs may have been recorded at the session which took place at Decca's studios in West Hampstead). Hadfield said: 'David had no inclination to become a singer at this point, his heart and mind were focused on becoming a world class saxophone player. Our agent, Eric Easton, who also managed The Rolling Stones, asked us to do a demo so he could try and get us an audition at Decca. We had decided that we would do a couple of guitar instrumentals and one original song. Decca initially turned us down, but when they eventually gave us an audition later that year, vocalist Roger Ferris was the lead voice and David sang backing harmonies.' Jones left the band shortly after the audition, in late 1963. After David's departure, The Kon-Rads continued in the music business, releasing a couple of singles - none of which featured any involvement from the future Mister Bowie despite occasional inaccurate claims to the contrary - and supporting The Rolling Stones on tour. Jones subsequently joined another band, The King Bees, along with his friend George Underwood and released his debut single, 'Liza Jane' - on the Decca subsidiary label, Vocalion - the following year. He spent most of the rest of the Sixties releasing flop record after flop record, had one novelty hit in 1969 but it wasn't until he became Ziggy Stardust almost a decade later that The Kids finally got where he was coming from, baby. 'His ever-changing artistic persona would ultimately reshape attitudes to fashion, gender, music and culture,' the BBC states. Which is, just about, accurate. Bowie died of cancer in January 2016, two days after the release on his sixty ninth birthday of his twenty fifth studio CD, Blackstar. Hatfield's 'newly released' recording is part of a trove of memorabilia, including letters, bills, booking forms, photographs and promotional sketches from Bowie's early career. The collection is set to go under the hammer at Omega Auctions, in Newton-le-Willows, in September. Whether someone will stump up the asking price this time around is unknown.
Sir Paul McCartney is to, if you will, get back to where he once belonged with a gig at The Cavern Club in Liverpool. The Cavern was the birthplace of Be-Atlemania and the band played there almost three hundred times in the early 1960s. You knew that, right? The original club closed in 1973 and was turned into a car park, but a new Cavern reopened a short distance away some years later. Sir Paul has only played the new venue once, performing there in 1999. The current Cavern has a capacity of up to three hundred and fifty and the show is part of the promotional campaign for Sir Paul's new solo CD, Egypt Station. The concert comes weeks after Macca played a surprise show for about fifty fans at the city's Philharmonic pub for James Corden's TV show. On Monday, McCaartney also performed at Abbey Road Studios - where the famous Be-Atles famously recorded much of their famous output - watched by the likes of Kylie Minogue, Johnny Depp and Stormzy. And, some 'ordinary' people too. When he last performed at The Cavern, in December 1999, Sir Paul played a set of rock 'n' roll covers from his Run Devil Run CD with a band including Pink Floyd's David Gilmour. The show was broadcast on BBC radio and TV, was relayed to a big screen and, in a pioneering feat, was broadcast live on the Internet. Sir Paul first played The Cavern on 24 January 1958 with The Quarrymen. The Be-Atles went on to perform there two hundred and ninety two times between 1961 and 1963.
Monkees fans - of whom this blogger is very much one - received some terrifying news on 21 June when the group announced that the final four dates of their The Monkees Present: The Mike & Micky Show tour would be 'indefinitely postponed' because Michael Nesmith had suffered an unspecified health scare. Hours later, the TMZ website made it seem even scarier. 'We're told seventy five-year-old Nesmith collapsed to the ground during the band's soundcheck Thursday afternoon at the Keswick Theatre in Glenside,' they wrote. 'Michael was not unconscious, but he was rushed to a hospital.' Nesmith remained silent over the next month, but has now broken his silence, explaining to Rolling Stone that, contrary to TMZ's report, he never collapsed. He was, however, experiencing severe shortness of breath which caused him to rush to his cardiologist at Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula where he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure that required quadruple bypass heart surgery. 'I was using the words "heart attack" for a while,' says Mike. 'But, I'm told now that I didn't have one. It was congestive heart failure. It has taken me four weeks to climb out of it. If anybody ever comes up to you on the street and offers you [bypass surgery] for free, turn them down. It hurts.' Nesmith was just a handful of dates into The Mike & Micky Show tour in June when he noticed that something was amiss with his body. 'I was getting weaker and weaker and I couldn't get my breath,' he says. 'When we got to Lake Tahoe and then the high altitude of Denver, I couldn't get out of bed and I couldn't breathe. It wasn't agonising. It was just the business of wanting to take a big, deep breath and not being able to do it.' Determined to get through the dates, he set up a chair just offstage with an oxygen tank and mask. At the Denver show, he ran back and forth to the tank whenever Micky Dolenz was singing lead on a song. 'People seemed to like the show,' he says. 'But I was pretty well crippled up by then.' It got so bad that Mike went to the emergency room in Chicago and then again in Philadelphia the following week. 'In both cases they said, "Look, you got a problem here,"' he says. '"We don't have what we need here in order to work on it."' By the time the tour came to Philadelphia on 21 June, things went from bad to worse. 'I didn't collapse to the ground or anything like that,' he said. 'But I couldn't breathe, so I sat down until I got my breath and then I realised the breath wasn't gettable. That marked the end. People knew I couldn't keep on like this. It was a road to Hell.' Which is a Chris Rea song. Although, the thought of The Monkess covering it doesn't bear thinking about, frankly. They called off the final four dates and flew Mike back to Carmel, so he could meet with his cardiologist. Before he knew it, he was wheeled into an operating room for quadruple bypass heart surgery. He wouldn't leave the hospital for about ten days. 'It's this complete other community of the dead and nearly dead,' he says. 'It's frightening. There's also a lot of pain involved and I didn't like that. You can't cough and you can't walk and you can't get up. And you’r' hooked to these gadgets that are annoying. I didn't even know where I was for a couple of weeks.' His doctors weren't sure about sending him home after ten days, but he convinced them he would heal faster in his own environment. 'I think, candidly, I'm back to eighty percent,' he says. 'I feel like I'm increasing exponentially daily, or at least by orders of five or six percent at a time. I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. My thinking is clear and I know who I am and where I am. It all feels like a natural healing process.' Things are going so well, in fact, that he is going ahead with a previously planned First National Band tour which kicks off on 7 September in Houston and wraps up later that month in Ridgefield, Connecticut. Mike played a short California club tour with a new incarnation of his pioneering country rock band earlier this year, but this is his first nationwide tour with them since their 1972 split. 'Most of it is sold out, so that was really encouraging,' he says. 'I thought the First National Band was just marginal and had been tossed away by The Monkees powers and nobody liked them. It is going to be a lot of travelling,' he adds. 'But it's pretty easy travel once you're in the jet class. That gets me to the city from the airport and into a bed very quickly. Then I can sleep until soundcheck. Between that and decent meals, I should be fine.' Mikeis currently considering offers to take the band to Europe, Australia and Asia, but is unsure about overseas dates. And, Nesmith says that he will 'definitely' make up the four postponed Mike and Micky shows early next year, including a Red Bank, New Jersey show at the Count Basie Theatre on 5 March. The other three rescheduled dates should be announced in the near future.
With tour dates already booked, the ever-prolific Elvis Costello - another From The North favourite - will release a new CD, Look Now, in October. The record features his longtime backing band The Imposters – which includes members of Costello's original backing band, The Attractions – and will be his first full-length since Wise Up Ghost, his extraordinary 2013 collaboration with The Roots. Look Now, which Costello co-produced with Latin Grammys winner Sebastian Krys, is due out 12 October. Ahead of the release, Costello has issued two songs from the CD, 'Under Lime' and 'Unwanted Number'. The former is a spry, heavily textured pop rocker with Be-Atles-esque harmonies and horn arrangements on which Costello sings, 'It's a long way down from that high horse you're on.' The latter is more low-key and boasts a soul groove and lush backing vocals, which allows Costello to belt lyrics about enduring a sour relationship - a regular leitmotif for Elvis, let it be noted! 'I knew if we could make an album with the scope of Imperial Bedroom and some of the beauty and emotion of Painted From Memory, we would really have something,' Costello said in a statement, referring to the 1982 LP he recently revisited on the road and his 1998 collaboration with songwriter Burt Bacharach. Bacharach co-wrote a few songs on Look Now and sat in on piano with The Imposters on two of them, 'Don't Look Now' and 'Photographs Can Lie'. Costello wrote another Look Now song, 'Burnt Sugar Is So Bitter', with Carole King. The record, currently available for pre-order, will be available both as a twelve-song standard edition and a 'deluxe' edition that adds four more songs. In other Costello news, the singer-songwriter was recently forced to cancel the last six dates of his European tour after a doctor discovered that he had a 'small but very aggressive cancerous malignancy.' When he made his announcement, Elvis alluded that he was able to beat the cancer with a surgery. His North American tour is set to kick off in November.
Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle United have agreed a deal with Mainz for the German side's Japanese striker Yoshinori Muto. Muto scored eight goals for the Bundesliga club last season as they avoided relegation by five points. He was in Japan's World Cup squad for Russia and made one appearance - the Group H defeat by Poland. The fee is reported to be nine-and-a-half million notes and Muto would boost the options for a Magpies team that scored thirty nine league goals last season, the second fewest of the top fourteen. If Muto signs it would bring the number of 2018 summer transfer deals completed by Newcastle to five. Switzerland defender Fabian Schar arrived from Deportivo La Coruna on Thursday, while The Magpies have also signed goalkeeper Martin Dubravka on a permanent contract following a six-month loan spell and added former Swansea midfielder Ki Sung-Yueng on a free transfer. They also signed Moscow Chelski FC midfielder Kenedy on a season-long loan deal after the Brazilian had a successful six-month spell during the last campaign.
It was the scoreline that the late Eric Morecambe used to joke about but had never come true - until now. East Fife four, Forfar five was the much-loved comedian's idea of the ultimate tongue-twister for anyone trying to read out the classified football results. On Sunday, that result finally happened for the first time in the fixture's history. Albeit, only in a roundabout way. The Scottish League Cup Group B tie between the sides went to penalties after a one-all draw. And the score in the shootout was, indeed, East Fife four, Forfar five. Had he lived to see that, it would surely have raised a chuckle from Eric, who came up with the score as a jokey greeting whenever he met his friend James Alexander Gordon, the popular announcer who read the classified results on the BBC for forty years. 'Eric never called me James,' Gordon, who died in 2014, once recalled. 'Whenever I saw him over a twenty-year period, he would say "East Fife four, Forfar five." I've got a tape of that.' Before Sunday, there had been two occasions when the scoreline had almost occurred. In January 1964, it happened with the wrong team at home - finishing Forfar five, East Fife four. And in October 2011, a meeting between the sides ended East Fife four, Forfar three. Anton Dowds claimed the opener on Sunday for East Fife, who had Chris Kane sent off before John Baird equalised. Drawn group games go to penalties under the League Cup format. With the shootout score at four-four, Forfar keeper Marc McCallum saved Daryl Meggatt's kick before Thomas Reilly converted to seal a bonus point for the visitors - and make a little piece of sporting history.
Germany's football association has 'emphatically rejected' allegations of racism from The Arse's Mesut Özil, but says that it 'could have done more' to protect him from abuse. Özil said this week that he no longer wants to play for Germany, citing 'racism and disrespect' within German football. The midfielder says that he received hate mail and threats and was blamed for Germany's disappointing World Cup. The DFB said that it 'regrets the departure of Mesut Özil from the national team.' It added in a statement: 'We emphatically reject the DFB being linked to racism. The DFB has been very involved in integration work in Germany for many years.'Özil was criticised by the DFB and in the German media after being photographed with controversial Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan at an event in London in May. He received more criticism after Germany were knocked out of the World Cup in the group stage. The DFB conceded that it had not handled the matter well, adding: 'It is regrettable that Mesut Özil felt that he had not been sufficiently protected as a target of racist slogans.' It stressed its commitment to equality, saying: 'The DFB stands for diversity, from the representatives at the top to the boundless, day-to-day dedication of people at the base.'Özil, a third-generation Turkish-German, was born in Gelsenkirchen and was a key member of his country's 2014 World Cup-winning side. A month before Germany defended their title, Özil met Erdogan, along with fellow Germany international Ilkay Gündoğan, a Sheikh Yer Man City player who is also of Turkish descent. Özil says he and Gündoğan 'talked about football' with the president. Afterwards, photographs were released by Turkey's governing AK Party in the build-up to elections in the country, which Erdogan won. Many German politicians questioned Özil and Gündoğan's loyalty to 'German democratic values.' Germany has previously criticised the Turkish leader's crackdown on political dissent following a failed coup. The players met the German FA president to explain the image, though Özil had not issued a public statement on the matter until Sunday. He said Erdogan had also met the Queen and Prime Minister Theresa May whilst in England and said he would have been 'disrespecting his ancestors' roots' had he not posed for photographs with the Turkish president. 'It wasn't about politics or elections, it was about me respecting the highest office of my family's country,' he added. Özil has ninety two caps and has been voted the national team's player of the year by fans five times since 2011. He said his recent treatment made him 'no longer want to wear the German national team shirt. I am German when we win, but I am an immigrant when we lose,' he said. German Chancellor Angela Merkel 'respects'Özil's decision as he 'has done much for the national side,' her spokesperson said on Monday. Anti-discrimination charity Kick It Out said that the 'racist treatment'Özil has faced in Germany since his country's World Cup exit was 'disgraceful.' Germany is home to about three million people of Turkish descent - a point regularly raised in political debate in the country, where immigration and the rise of far-right parties are key issues for many. In his statement, Özil questions why other dual-heritage team-mates have not been subjected to the same treatment. 'Is it because it is Turkey? Is it because I'm a Muslim? I think here lays an important issue,' he said. German newspapers have criticised Ozil's decision to quit the national team. The popular tabloid Bild said despite Özil's appeals for respect for the highest office of his family's country, he 'ignores that Erdogan stands against the values of his German and Turkish homelands.'It noted that the footballer failed to mention in his 'yammer Facebook post' that Erdogan is 'transforming the freedom-loving, religiously moderate Turkey into an Islamist dictatorship' and 'has almost extinguished free media and freedom of expression.'Frankfurter Allgemeine argued Özil's resignation has left behind 'a pile of shards,' adding his 'sweeping blow' will immerse the German FA in crisis. 'In many ways, Özil has overshot the target,' the daily said, describing Özil's attacks on the media as 'absurd and outrageous.'Die Welt commented that the commitment in wearing a German football shirt means 'more than a good game. National players are role models, especially for young people with migration background,' it said. 'Germany has to formulate its expectations clearly, and every athlete wandering between cultures has to decide whether he can or wants to do that. Those who accept the German passport and put on the national jersey must know what that means for them. The Özil case made that clear,' the paper added.
Leyton Orient are hoping fans with male dogs can help their bid to remove some unwanted 'foxes in the box.' Foxes have been regularly spotted on National League Orient's Brisbane Road pitch in recent weeks. Such is the problem, the club has issued an appeal to any fans who can walk their dog around the ground during mornings and late afternoons. 'It is thought a dog's presence will help prevent further pitch invasions,' Orient said in a short statement. Interested candidates should apply to the club's marketing department - and very advanced dogs can put their names forward themselves.
The Sun'acted in the public interest' publishing a secret prison video of disgraced and disgraceful former footballer Adam Johnson, the press regulator has ruled. The ex-Blunderland winger's father complained to Ipso about an online article headlined I wish I'd raped her. Johnson was filmed discussing his conviction for sexual activity with a minor and saying that he would have 'only got a caution had he not been famous.' Ipso ruled that the piece did not breach the Editors' Code. Published on 20 April 2017, the footage of the ex-England player was believed to have been recorded in the laundry room at HMP Moorland near Doncaster. Johnson was seen talking to a fellow inmate about a six-year sentence imposed in March 2016 after he pleaded very guilty to grooming and sexual activity with a child. He was heard to say: 'I wish I did [commit rape] for six years.' In his complaint to Ipso, David Johnson claimed the publication of the footage was 'intrusive' and the use of a hidden recording device 'unjustified.' He said that his family were the subject 'of a witch-hunt' by the press and claimed 'numerous inflammatory newspaper articles' had been published about his son, many of which were 'completely untrue.' Although, the fact that his son is a convicted sex offender is true. David Johnson also described his 'concern' at the use of the terms 'paedophile' and 'paedo' in the Sun's article. In its defence, the Sun argued there was 'an overriding public interest in exposing the true face of remorseless Johnson' as the comments had been made shortly before he lodged an appeal against his initial sentence. An appeal which was, subsequently, rejected. Ipso said that there was 'a strong public interest in publishing the footage in order to highlight the conflict between the statements he made in private with those he had made in mitigation to the court.' It also said that the 'level of subterfuge' employed by the newspaper's source had been 'limited' because Johnson had been 'speaking openly' to inmates. Using the word 'paedophile' was also 'neither inaccurate nor misleading' as the article clearly stated the age of the victim, the regulator added.
England's leg-spinner Adil Rashid says that his former captain Michael Vaughan's comments about his recall to the test squad are 'stupid' and 'do not matter.' Rashid was named in a thirteen-man squad for the first test against India next week despite signing a white-ball-only contract at his county, Yorkshire. Vaughan described the decision to select Rashid for the test squad as 'ridiculous.' Rashid told BBC Sport: 'He can say a lot and he thinks people might listen, but I don't think they do.' He added: 'There has been a lot of hoo-ha. I don't see what the big deal is, with people talking about me being retired. I didn't say anything about retirement, which some pundits have said. It was not an easy decision, but when your country wants you and asks if you are available, you cannot just say no.' Vaughan responded to Rashid's remarks on social media on Friday. He posted: 'Being called stupid for wanting a player to be professional and play a red-ball game to prepare for the number one test team in the world is an official career highlight. The cricket world has officially gone nuts.' The first match of the five-test series begins on 1 August at Edgbaston. Rashid has taken thirty eight wickets at an average of 42.78 in ten tests for England, the most recent of which came in India in December 2016. In February, he signed a contract with Yorkshire to play only limited-overs cricket in 2018. He has not played a first-class match since September 2017. Writing in the Torygraph, Vaughan called his test selection 'a stab in the back for the county game.' He accused Rashid of being 'a bit dozy' and 'unprofessional' for not 'being bothered' to play for Yorkshire in the recent Roses match against Lancashire in the County Championship. Rashid said that Vaughan's 'opinions do not matter to anybody. When I mentioned at the start of the year I will not be playing red-ball cricket, he tweeted something then. He was being controversial and saying his stupid things then too. A lot of people have got no interest in what he says. It is about getting people to like what he says. I don't think he has an agenda against me. I played under and with him but sometimes ex-players come out and start talking nonsense about current players. If he wants to carry on talking just because he is bored with nothing better to say, then that is his choice. There will be people out there who are not happy. There will be haters, like the pundits who are saying it is a disgrace. That is not my fault.' Vaughan said Rashid's selection sent out a message that 'our county game, the finishing school for our cricketers, does not matter any more and that it is irrelevant.' He added: 'I've nothing against Adil. He is a good kid. He is a bit dozy but he is low maintenance and does not cause trouble. As a bowler he has done well in white-ball cricket but he has not been successful in test cricket because he bowls too many bad balls.' Rashid has been a key figure in England's rise to the top of the International Cricket Council one-day rankings. He took eighteen wickets at an average of 22.61 to help them beat Australia five-nil and India two-one in ODI series' this summer. Rashid said after victory over India that he would 'consider' playing test cricket, despite not being available for Yorkshire for first-class matches. England national selector Ed Smith said that the selection was 'a one-off' and that players must play first-class cricket next year to be considered for the test side. Yorkshire chief executive Mark Arthur said they were 'very surprised' by Rashid's recall and director of cricket Martyn Moxon said they were 'disappointed.' Asked if there was a lack of support from Yorkshire, Rashid said: 'At times, there can be. They might be disappointed for various reasons, but it would have been nice if the chief executive or head coach could have said, "well done, congratulations on being selected, good on you" - as opposed to being angry and upset for not playing red-ball cricket for them, even though I told them I would not be doing so. I did not do anything wrong in that sense. There is no reason for Yorkshire to react like this. It was not something I expected or wanted. It would have been nice to have got the support from your county or the people close to you, but if they do not want to give their support, that is their problem. I don't need anybody's support in that situation. I know what I want to do and achieve. If I give one hundred per cent and it goes well, it goes well. If it doesn't then I will still be happy. If they treat me like they have done, don't see any value in me and are disrespectful to me, I have to think about the future in terms of which county I play for.'
Lewis Hamilton says that the pressure of this year's Formula 1 title fight with Sebastian Vettel is greater than he has ever experienced before. The Mercedes driver is currently seventeen points clear of Vettel after last Sunday's win in Germany but expects Ferrari to have the upper hand at this weekend's race in Hungary. Hamilton said: 'The pressures are huge. The demands and the desires of myself and Sebastian are higher than ever. The pressure is higher than ever. I am not fazed by it. I am excited by it.' Vettel crashed out of the lead in Germany in the difficult late stages of the race when it was raining and the drivers were using slick tyres. Hamilton, who said that his drive to victory from fourteenth on the grid was one of the greatest of his career, said: 'I do take a lot of pride in being a perfectionist and not making mistakes. With the pressure we are under, I really work hard to position myself mentally and physically that I am the last to crack. It is not easy but I am happy with where it is right now.' He added: 'Last year, I'm sure we reached just as high heights in terms of pressure at some point. It is just that this year it is even closer than last year so the smallest mistakes are even more costly. So there is more pressure on that. We are racing a team that are faster than us this year. Last year, we were quite balanced. There were some weekends, they were faster than us, some weekends we were faster than them. This year it is swinging more in their direction, so we are having to over-deliver on weekends and try to pull out more on weekends when we are not quick enough so the pressure to extract every last millimetre is greater than ever if I want to be number one at the end.' Hamilton said that the psychological aspects of performing at his best throughout a twenty one-race season that lasts nine months were extreme. 'You don't see us away from the track and that is the most demanding thing,' he said. 'Keeping your mind in the game from March to November, arriving every weekend one hundred per cent. I can honestly say not every single weekend I have hit the nail on the head and been able to do that. There are parts of my performance this year that are not perfect. Last year I was great in qualifying, this year it has been an area I am constantly trying to work on - starts were more consistent last year, there are always areas, there is always something.' Vettel did not talk to the media on Thursday following the death of Sergio Marchionne on Wednesday, four days after he was replaced as president and chief executive officer of Ferrari after becoming ill from complications following shoulder surgery. Hamilton said that he expected Ferrari and, potentially, Red Bull to be stronger than Mercedes this weekend. 'This weekend is going to be the same challenges as every year,' he said. 'We've got the Red Bulls - it is not a power circuit and they are quite often close. Ferrari were quickest here last year. It is probably going to be the same this weekend, we are going to try our hardest to improve on that. Maybe tomorrow we will get in the car and we will have great pace; the car will work really well here. This is a really tough track, very hot, the way the corners are laid out has not in the past been good for our car package. Our car likes to be on a more open circuit, more high-speed, downforce-dependency corners. This is mostly medium- and low-speed, so it will be interesting.' Red Bull, who have won three grands prix this year but have struggled for competitiveness in recent races, have identified this weekend as one of their best chances of another win as the circuit layout does not penalise the power deficit of their Renault engine as much as other tracks.
UFC fighter Conor McGregor has pleaded very guilty to disorderly conduct in a deal with prosecutors to avoid jail time. McGregor had faced multiple criminal charges stemming from an altercation in April with other fighters. As part of his deal he is required to undergo anger management treatment. The plea will not affect his US work visa. In a statement outside the New York City courthouse, the thirty-year-old thanked the judge and prosecutors 'for allowing me to move forward.' He will also be required to fulfil five days of community service and, in exchange, will be cleared of criminal charges. McGregor had been facing twelve charges related to the incident at Brooklyn's Barclays Centre on 5 April. The charges against McGregor had included menacing, assault resulting in injury, reckless endangerment and criminal mischief. The most serious charges carried a maximum sentence of seven years in The Big House. In a two-sentence statement outside the courthouse, he said: 'I just want to say I'm thankful to the DA and the judge for allowing me to move forward. I want to say to my friends, my family, my fans: thank you for the support.' In April McGregor was filmed throwing a metal dolly into a window of a bus parked at a Barclay's Centre loading bay. As a condition of the deal with the Brooklyn District Attorney's Office, he was required to pay full restitution to the bus company, which he has already fulfilled. The coach bus had been carrying a group of UFC athletes and employees at the time. Two UFC fighters were injured and forced to withdraw from their scheduled matches. One of McGregor's teammates from SBG Ireland - MMA fighter Cian Cowley - was also arrested for his involvement in the incident. On Thursday, he too pleaded extremely guilty to disorderly conduct. McGregor's manager, Audie Attar, gave a statement outside the court, saying the Irish fighter would be 'getting back to business.''Now that this is passed us, we can focus on things that have been on hold for some time,' said Attar. 'Conor's been training. He's in shape. He's ready to go. Now it's just about getting back to business and we hope to have some news to announce very soon.' Last month, the father-of-one had expressed his 'regret' for the attack. In August 2017, McGregor - pictured below with another violent criminal - launched a boxing career with a fight against ex-welterweight Floyd Mayweather. The fight, which earned him one hundred million dollars was considered the richest boxing bout of all time. According to sports journalists, the legal settlement could clear the way for his return to the Octagon later this year. His manager said in an interview after the plea deal that the current champion, Khabib Nurmagomedov, will be McGregor's 'likely opponent' in a coming fight. Nurmagomedov was on the bus that McGregor attacked and was the target of his hostility.
Samoan Rugby Sevens player Gordon Langkilde has been charged with assault after an altercation that left Wales' Tom Williams with broken facial bones and two other players injured. The incident occurred in the tunnel after Wales' Rugby World Cup Sevens win over Samoa on 22 July in the United States. San Francisco Police confirmed Langkilde had been arrested 'on the charges of Aggravated Assault and Battery Causing Serious Bodily Injury.' Langkilde was booked into San Francisco County Jail, a police statement confirmed, while an 'active and ongoing investigation' took place. San Francisco's district attorney office confirmed that Langkilde has been charged with four counts, which included one of assault and three of battery. The initial police statement issued confirmed reports three Wales players were hurt during the tournament but says Langkilde is accused of 'assaulting' two players. The incident took place in a tunnel leading from the playing field to the locker room area. The statement read: 'Langkilde, a visiting rugby player (Samoa) is accused of assaulting two players of another visiting rugby team. A twenty six year-old, male (Wales) sustained facial injuries and a twenty one year-old, male (Wales) suffered broken facial bones. A third victim, a twenty four year-old, male (Wales) sustained facial injuries during the incident. Langkilde was taken into custody without incident at his San Francisco hotel.' The WRU says that no Welsh player is facing any sanctions for the incident with Williams believed to have broken his nose and cheekbone and will require surgery on his nose. A WRU statement said: 'Following the match between Wales and Samoa in San Francisco, an incident took place in the stadium tunnel which has led to the Samoa Rugby Union provisionally suspending one of their players. After a medical assessment relating to the incident, Wales' Tom Williams was ruled out of action.' World Rugby confirmed they were investigating the incident. 'The alleged behaviour is not aligned with the sport's values and the excellent spirit in which this competition has been played by the forty participating teams,' a statement read. 'World Rugby has instigated an investigation and the Samoa player will remain provisionally suspended until the final conclusion of that process.'
Everyone should have an ambition and one woman is dreaming big, according to the Metro (if not a real newspaper). She wants to have the world's largest bottom. Natasha Crown, a model from Gothenburg in Sweden, is so committed to her goal of a huge ass that she eats fifteen jars of Nutella every month. She likes big butts and she cannot lie, it would seem. Plenty of people are very happy about her ambition, it would seem, as she makes a living selling photos and videos of her rear and has racked up over eighty thousand followers on Instagram. At the moment, her bum has a circumference of six feet according to Crown herself. This is not big enough for her, however, so she is on a self-appointed mission to gain a further four stone. When she reaches this milestone, doctors say they will be able to 'redistribute the fat' and add it to her backside. 'The more I gain the better the bum will be,' Natasha told the Sun. 'I'll do whatever it takes to have the world's biggest bum. I just love the feel of having a big bum. When I walk, I feel all the jiggling, jiggling, jiggling and I start to feel horny with myself. My bum makes me feel sexy and makes me feel powerful.' It may not come as a surprise to dear blog readers that Natasha has already had a lot of surgery, starting at the age of twenty. Because, bums like that don’t grow on trees.
Police arrested a man at a New Hampshire Planet Fitness after he allegedly stripped down in front of other patrons then began exercising in the nude. Eric Stagno, thirty four, was very charged with indecent exposure, lewdness and disorderly conduct after police responded to the Plaistow, gym on Sunday afternoon, according to the New Hampshire Union Leader. 'The story we got from witnesses was that the guy walked in, stripped down right there in front, left the clothes and belongings at the front desk, walked back and forth across the gym a couple of times and then settled in over at the yoga mats,' Police Captain Brett Morgan said. When officers arrived, they say they found Stagno nude 'in a yoga-type position.' Exercising himself, no doubt. 'That's not right at all. Why would you do that? People are uncomfortable, make you uncomfortable. That's weird,' gym member Tony Nachef told WMUR. Witnesses told police that Stagno's behaviour made them 'feel uncomfortable, disgusted, sick and unsafe,' according to the Boston Globe. Morgan told the Globe that Stagno 'kept to himself' and didn't seem aware that he had upset the patrons of the crowded gym. 'The only comment he made was that he thought it was a judgement-free zone, apparently referencing their slogan,' Morgan told the Union Leader. According to the Planet Fitness website, their promise of a 'Judgement Free Zone' refers to a place where people can 'feel comfortable regardless of their fitness level.''To me, it's like, "What did you smoke before you came to the gym?" No, I don't think you should be at the gym naked,' said gym member Kat Lancaster. Morgan told the Globe that Stagno had 'drug paraphernalia' in his possession - although, probably not about his person - when he was arrested, but it wasn’t clear if he was under the influence at the time of his decision to, as it were, let it all hang out.
A sixty-something couple in Palo Alto reportedly got 'an unpleasant surprise' on Sunday when they awoke in the middle of the night to find a masked intruder in their bedroom. He said that he wanted to use the couple's WiFi. The burglar didn't get the password he was looking for, however. The homeowner leaped out of bed and confronted the intruder, shoving him down the hallway and out the front door. He then called the police. The Wi-Fi-seeking troublemaker was prmptly arrested by police minutes later. No one was injured in the confrontation. Palo Alto police declined to name the seventeen-year-old suspect because he is a minor. He was arrested for burglary - a felony - as well as misdemeanour charges of 'prowling.' He was also arrested for providing false information to a police officer - according to police, he initially lied about his identity when he was apprehended. The intruder had gotten into the house by 'cutting a screen covering an open window in the side yard,' according to a police statement. Remarkably, this wasn't the suspect's only legally dubious attempt to get Wi-Fi access that weekend. Just before midnight the previous night, police claim, the same young man was found prowling around outside another Palo Alto home. When the house's residents came out and confronted him, he 'asked to use their Wi-Fi network because he was out of data.' They told him to go forth and multiply (only, not in so many words) and he rode away on a bike that turned out to be stolen from their own back yard. Police were able to recover the bike from the suspect following the second burglary and he may face an additional charge for stealing the bike. And, being an idiot.
An Iowa woman who was ticketed for speeding in Nebraska seemingly did not take the citation seriously - deputies clocked her driving at one hundred and forty two miles per hour as she accelerated away from the traffic stop. The Lincoln County sheriff's office says that the thirty one-year-old unnamed woman from Council Bluffs was eventually arrested on suspicion of 'wilful reckless driving' after deputies caught up with her for a second time early on Saturday. Deputies first stopped the 2018 Ford Mustang on Interstate Eighty after it was recorded driving ninety two mph in a seventy five mph zone. The driver was cited and told she could leave. But, she took off at high speed and the deputies gave chase and nabbed her for a second time.
In February, a woman was working her shift in the cosmetics section of a department store in Tokyo's Chuo Ward. A man in his early thirties approached her, squinting and walking with hesitant steps. 'I can't see,' he informed her and asked for assistance in locating the restroom. This being Japan, where excellent customer service is always something to strive for, the woman agreed to lead the man to the men's room. Before arriving, though, he tumbled to the ground. When the woman crouched down to help him up, he grabbed and fondled her chest, then made a nippy escape. Police were contacted and, whilst looking through the store's security videos, they found footage of the man navigating the shop's walkways with ease, leading them to believe that he was merely pretending to be visually impaired and his 'stumbling' had been a wilful and naughty ruse. Based on the video evidence, on 9 July, police officers in Kanagawa extremely arrested Yosuke Mizokami, a resident of the city of Hadano. Mizokami, who has no significant visual impairment, admitted to being the man behind the groping and investigators are also looking into whether or not he was involved in multiple other cases of saleswomen being groped by a man who claimed to be blind which have occurred in Tokyo and Kanagawa.
A Louisiana man was very arrested Monday after he dialled nine-one-one to ask if there were any active warrants out for his arrest, police said. Christian Palacios, made the call to Thibodaux police, according to WGNO-TV. Responding officers reportedly asked Palacios if he knew the difference between an emergency and a non-emergency phone call and when he told them he did, he was arrested on a charge of misusing the nine-one-one system. Palacios was given a misdemeanour summons, which carries a penalty of up to thirty days in the county jail and a fine up to five hundred bucks, according to the station.
A bungling thief took a tumble through a fence when he struggled to pick up a two foot garden gnome. CCTV pictures - since widely distributed online - show a man taking the garden ornament before clattering into the fence. It happened at about 4:45am on Sunday 1 July, in Weekley Glebe Road, Kettering. Northamptonshire Police said that the gnome was later 'found destroyed' outside a nearby block of flats. Presumably, it wasn't laughing at that point.

The BBC have released yet another new image from the forthcoming series of Doctor Who. This one featuring yer actual Jodie Whittaker's Doctor looking well-ready for whatever the universe decides to throw at her.
The cast of Doctor Who have confirmed that the forthcoming eleventh series will feature an episode which was shot 'under difficult circumstances' in South Africa. New showrunner Chris Chibnall and his production team have kept most of the details about the new episodes in a state of near-total news blackout, with the cast only now confirming to Doctor Who Magazine that they 'secretly' went abroad to film scenes. Albeit, it wasn't that secret - they were spotted and, indeed, this blog first reported the location's use as long ago as January. 'The shoot was three weeks. It was warm, so that was good,' yer actual Jodie Whittaker revealed. 'The ambition was huge and the landscapes there - you couldn't have got that here. But it required a lot of focus because we knew we had a lot to do in three weeks. We were working with a really great South African crew. They recommended things for us to do on our days off!' The downside was that the Doctor Who cast and crew arrived in South Africa as the country was in the middle of a drought, which restricted them to 'two-minute showers' and largely limited water usage. 'Other than the water crisis, we had a really good time out there,' Tosin Cole said. The cast did not divulge any further details about the episode, but Radio Times has suggested that South Africa may be doubling for the American deep South.
Multi-Doctor stories featuring yer actual Ninth Doctor - and his massive ears - may be the stuff of Doctor Who comics and fan fiction, but attendees at last week's London Film & Comic-Con got the next best thing when the timelines of Christopher Eccleston and Matt Smith his very self crossed. And, they touched as the following photographic evidence proved. But, but, but ... what about Blinovtich's Limitation Effect? Did nobody think about the potential devastating effects upon the time-space-continuum? Seemingly not. Oh well, fair enough. The three-day event saw appearances by all of the living actors who previously played the Doctor except for Sylvester McCoy, with Eccleston undertaking his first ever signing commitments at a convention event, a happenstance which previously seem about as likely to occur as Hartlepool winning the FA Cup. And, for once, he actually looking vaguely cheerful. It was whilst Eccleston was being moved around the arena that he passed Smudger, resulting in what the Doctor Who News website describes as 'a heartfelt meeting between the two actors, captured for posterity by surrounding fans.' Or, alternatively a rather competitive-looking arm-wrestling competition (which, one assumes, Big Ecc won by two falls and a submission). Ecc also reportedly met Peter Capaldi whilst the latter was coming out of a lift and the former was entering it, resulting in a hug between the two men.
The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (OBE) is staying with time travel for his next TV project, an adaptation of The Time Traveler's Wife [sic]. HBO has given a straight-to-series order for the drama, based on the acclaimed and award-winning novel by Audrey Niffenegger according to Deadline. 'I read Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife [sic] many years ago and I fell in love with it,' The Moff said. 'In fact, I wrote a Doctor Who episode called The Girl In the Fireplace as a direct response to it. When, in her next novel, Audrey had a character watching that very episode, I realised she was probably on to me. All these years later, the chance to adapt the novel itself, is a dream come true. The brave new world of long form television is now ready for this kind of depth and complexity. It's a story of happy ever after - but not necessarily in that order.''We are thrilled to be partnering with Steven Moffat, Hartswood and WBTV on The Time Traveler's Wife,' [sic] HBO programming president Casey Bloys said. 'Steven's passion is evident in every project he's written and we are certain that his love and respect for this mesmerising and textured novel will make it a quintessential HBO series.' Moffat, his good lady Sue Vertue and Brian Minchin will executive produce through their Hartswood Films. The 2003 novel tells the story of Henry DeTamble, a dashing, adventuresome librarian who has a genetic disorder that makes him travel, involuntarily, through time and Clare Abshire, an artist who falls in love with him and has to deal with his condition. The novel was previously the subject of a - decent-enough if hardly Earth-shattering - 2009 movie adaptation starring Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana. No production schedule or suggested release date has been announced for the TV version.
FOX is trying to bring Buffy The Vampire Slayer back from the grave but, despite all the media palaver at the initial announcement last week, fans are going to have to be patient. Last month, Joss Whedon confirmed that he was 'working with'Fringe and Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D writer Monica Owusu-Breen and FOX on 'an update' of the classic series that would feature an African-American slayer. FOX Television Group co-chairman Gary Newman reaffirmed that development has started on the project at the TCA press tour on Thursday, but cautioned that it wasn't on an 'incredibly fast track.' Instead, the network wants to give Owusu-Breen the time to come up with a concept which will do the original show justice and satisfy Buffy's passionate fanbase. 'There's actually no script to see,' he explained. 'We've sat down with creators and had conversations with them about it. It's a very exciting prospect. It's fairly early. We haven't pitched it to any possible licensees yet, all of that is still to come. We're thrilled that Joss has engaged Monica who he worked with on one of his other series. She is the person who is day to day on it. She has a great take on the show.' To quell some initial unrest within the more barmy end of the Buffy fan community, Owusu-Breen recently made it clear that she had 'no intention' of recasting characters from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer series. 'There is only one Buffy. One Xander, one Willow, Giles, Cordelia, Oz, Tara, Kendra, Faith, Spike, Angel. They can't be replaced,' she wrote. 'Joss Whedon's brilliant and beautiful series can't be replicated. I wouldn't try to. But here we are, twenty years later and the world seems a lot scarier. So maybe, it could be time to meet a new Slayer. And that's all I can say.' Whedon himself is expected to have next to nothing to do with the reboot beyond having his name on the credits, since he is currently attached to write, produce and direct an HBO show called The Nevers which sounds very much like a Victorian-era Buffy.
The great Alan Alda, the star of M*A*S*H and The West Wing, has revealed he has Parkinson's disease. The eighty two-year-old told the CBS's This Morning show that he was diagnosed three-and-a-half years ago but had only decided to speak about it now. 'The reason I want to talk about it in public is I've had a full life since then,' he said. 'You still have things you can do,' he went on, revealing that he was 'taking boxing lessons three times a week.'Parkinson's is a progressive condition in which the brain becomes damaged. It can lead to tremors, difficulty moving, speech changes and eventually memory problems. Alda is best known for playing Captain Hawkeye Pierce in the TV series M*A*S*H from 1972 to 1983. A six-time EMMY award winner, he went on to play the Republican presidential candidate Arnold Vinick - brilliantly - in  From The North favourite The West Wing (2004 to 2006) and was Oscar nominated in 2005 for The Aviator. Alda said that he had noticed during recent interviews to promote his new podcast that he 'could see [his] thumb twitch in some shots. I thought, it's probably only a matter of time before somebody does a story about this from a sad point of view but that's not where I am,' he continued. Alda said that he had gone to his doctor to ask for a scan because he suspected he might have the disease. 'I read an article by Jane Brody in the New York Times that indicated if you act out your dreams, there's a good chance that might be a very early symptom where nothing else shows,' he explained. 'I was having a dream that someone was attacking me and I threw a sack of potatoes at them, but what I was really doing was throwing a pillow at my wife.' He continued: 'This is not to short-change people who are suffering with really severe symptoms. Symptoms can get very bad and their families can suffer. But in the very beginning, to be immobilised by fear and think the worst thing has happened to you, you still have things you can do.'
The broadcasting regulator Ofcom - a politically appointed quango, elected by no one - has scrapped the roll-out of further local TV channels across the UK. More than thirty local TV stations have been set up since 2013, but some - in fact, most - have faced financial difficulties and have struggled to attract any sort of an audience. Ofcom has now halted plans to seek people to run new channels in thirteen areas. The regulator said that it had taken the decision 'in light of the significant financial challenges that the local TV sector is facing.' Continuing with the plans for the new channels would, Ofcom said, 'have an adverse impact on the economic viability of the local TV sector.' As, indeed, anyone with half-a-brain in their head could have previously predicted. Licences will now not be advertised for Bangor, Barnstaple, Bromsgrove, Derry, Forth Valley, Gloucester, Inverness, Kidderminster, Limavady, Luton, Plymouth, Stoke-on-Trent and Stratford-upon-Avon. Local TV was launched in the UK under a - not even remotely well-thought-out - plan laid out in 2011 by then lack of culture secretary the vile and odious rascal Hunt. It has, since, proved to be a white elephant of properly elephantine proportions. Current licensees include ESTV, which runs the Evening Standard-affiliated London Live and That's TV, which runs fourteen channels across the UK.
National treasure Jarvis Cocker will reportedly'rummage through other people's knick-knacks' in a special episode of Bargain Hunt. He will be pitted against the former Happy Mondays' dancer Bez in a one-off episode of the bafflingly popular teatime show, which sees amateur buyers trying to sell antiques for a profit. The programme will broadcast in September to mark the fourth annual BBC Music Day. Kylie Minogue, Gareth Malone and Ella Eyre will also take part in the UK-wide celebration of music, which takes place on 28 September. Bez and Cocker will be joined on Bargain Hunt by their respective bandmates Rowetta Idah and Candida Doyle. Woman's Hour will mark Music Day by publishing a Women In Music Power List, celebrating the top forty female voices in music, from songwriters and performers to managers and producers. The list will be compiled by a panel including singer and actress Kate Nash and producer Catherine Marks, who has worked with Wolf Alice, Foals and The Killers. Kylie, Kylie, sweet and smiley will be 'encouraging commuters' to do 'The Locomotion' as she voices train announcements at major stations across the UK. 'I truly believe in the power of music to bring joy and lift the soul,' said the diminutive Antipodean pop star and BBC Music Day ambassador. 'Hopefully my little messages for train passengers will be a nice surprise and a reminder of the power of music.' Choirs will entertain commuters on the platforms of more than forty destinations around the UK - so, if you're planning on travelling anywhere that day, fer Christ's sake take an iPod with you - while the BBC Singers will perform in Birmingham's New Street Station with the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra. After Shaun Ryder became the voice of Manchester trams last year, the network will host surprise performances from 'local music legends' in 2018. Birmingham's metro system, meanwhile, will be taken over by performance group Free Radical. On TV there will be a special edition of Pointless, featuring musicians Lianne La Havas, Amy Macdonald, Leslie Garrett and Ella Eyre alongside BBC radio presenters. And, Gareth Malone is presenting the All Star Music Quiz, a competition in which two z-list celebrity teams have to 'play the answer, as well as say it.' Amateur musicians and community groups are being encouraged to join in too, with schools being given support to put on special performances in playgrounds and assemblies. Radio 1 will head out to universities for a simultaneous celebration of Music Day and Freshers' Week, culminating in a 'Rave Lounge' at Brighton University featuring Annie Mac and Danny Howard. 'The UK is truly a nation of music lovers,' claimed Bob Shennan, the director of BBC Music. 'BBC Music Day aims to bring the nation together to celebrate this, from pop and rock to classical and choirs and everything in between. There really is something for everyone to enjoy!'
Unseen sketches from Monty Python's Flying Circus have been discovered in Michael Palin's archives. He gave the material to the British Library in 2017 and, after examination, they were found to contain several unused script ideas. These included a Wild West Bookshop sketch and 'The Amorous Pink Knight', storylines cut from Monty Python & The Holy Grail. According to The Times, the sketches will go on display to the public at the British Library later this month. More than fifty notebooks containing notes on two Pythons films - Holy Grail and Monty Python's Life Of Brian - will also be part of the exhibition. They show how much both the films changed throughout the drafting process, as material was cut to 'prevent causing offence' to the viewing public. Not that this plan worked, obviously. The sketches also reveal how Holy Grail was meant to have a different ending, whilst the film about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table (they dance when 'eer they're able) was also set to feature a Western saloon scene. It sees a man appear from the desert, in need of a beer, only to find out the saloon is actually bookshop. 'The last bookshop before you get to Mexico,' the bookseller says.The selection of items showcase Palin's creative life over a period of more than twenty years - from 1965 to 1987. The seventy five-year-old writer, actor and comedian gave his blessing for sketches to be reproduced and put on display and says that he can't think why some of them weren't used. 'The Holy Grail took shape gradually and at the beginning it had far more ideas in it than ended up on screen because you had to have a narrative. In the end the story of the knights was strong enough,' he said.
Andy Serkis is to direct a performance-capture film version of George Orwell's Animal Farm for Netflix. Deadline reports the adaptation will be contemporary and highlight the 'staggering relevance' of the satirical and dramatic power of Orwell's allegorical novel. It is not known yet whether the film will get a cinema release as well as being on the streaming service. In 2012 Serkis said he had started work on an adaptation of Animal Farm. He told them they were 'using an amalgamation of filming styles' to create the environments. At that time he had intended to appear in the film himself. The novel was an allegory about the dangers of Soviet Communism and the rise of Joseph Stalin. Set on an English farm, a group of animals led by the pigs overthrow their cruel farmer and take over the farm themselves. However they soon find that the animals are not all as equal as they thought. 'We are incredibly excited to have finally found the perfect creative home in Netflix for this extraordinarily zeitgeist work by George Orwell,' Serkis said in a statement. The film will be produced by Serkis' film company The Imaginarium. Matt Reeves, who directed Serkis in Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes and War For The Planet Of The Apes, will also be one of the film's producers. Serkis said he was 'happy' to be re-united with his 'great friend. With his acute sensitivity, storytelling intelligence and honesty and command in this realm, is to have the very best scenario for our long-held passion to bring this fable alive.' Last week it was announced that Serkis' directorial debut Mowgli, a Jungle Book adaptation, had been bought by Netflix.
Football's world governing body FIFA - a notoriously corrupt collective of gangsters, criminals and appeasers of dictators - has been 'urged' to conduct an 'independent investigation' into claims the Qatar 2022 World Cup bid team ran a secret campaign in 2010 to sabotage competing host bids. Not that they're going to, obviously. The chairman of the Digital, Culture, Media and Sport select committee Damian Collins - a man never short of an opinion ... on pretty much any subject you care to name - said that the 'serious allegations,' published in The Sunday Times, would be a breach of FIFA's rules if the proved to be true. 'It requires a proper independent investigation and FIFA should make clear that will happen,' he said. Speaking on Radio 5Live, he added: 'If the Qataris have broken the rules, they should face some sanctions.' In a statement Qatar's 'Supreme Committee for Delivery and Legacy' said it 'rejects each and every allegation put forward by The Sunday Times.' The paper claims to have seen leaked documents that show the Qatari bid team employed a US PR firm and ex-CIA agents to smear its rivals - mainly the United States and Australia. The alleged aim was to create propaganda to give the impression that a World Cup would not be supported domestically. The Qatar tournament organisers deny the allegations. Which, to paraphrase Mandy Rice Davies, 'well, they would, wouldn't they?' A campaign such as that alleged by The Sunday Times would have extremely broken FIFA's bidding rules. Qatar beat rival bids from the United States, Australia, South Korea and Japan to the right to host the 2022 World Cup in a process not so much bent as U-shaped. FIFA's rules state that World Cup bidders should not make 'any written or oral statements of any kind, whether adverse or otherwise, about the bids or candidatures of any other member association.' The Qatar bid team has been previously accused of corruption, but was cleared following a two-year FIFA inquiry. One or two people even believed them. Some of the alleged aspects of the smear campaign include a 'respected academic' allegedly being paid nine thousand US dollars to allegedly write a negative report on the huge economic cost of an American World Cup, which was then distributed to news media around the world; journalists, bloggers and high-profile figures were recruited in each country to 'hype up negative aspects' of their respective bids; a group of American physical education teachers recruited to ask their US Congressmen to oppose a US World Cup on the grounds that the money would be better used on high school sports; grassroots protests were organised at rugby games in Australia opposing the country's bid and intelligence reports were compiled on individuals involved in rival bids. The documents seen by The Sunday Times - which the paper claims were 'leaked by a whistleblower' who worked on the 2022 bid team - were apparently 'unavailable' during the FIFA inquiry. The Qatar bid team is alleged to have employed the New York office of communications company Brown Lloyd Jones, which is now BLJ Worldwide, along with a team of former intelligence officers to run a campaign aimed at undermining one of FIFA's key criteria in the bidding process - that each bid should have strong backing at home. In its statement, Qatar's Supreme Committee for Delivery and Legacy said: 'We have been thoroughly investigated and have been forthcoming with all information related to our bid, including the official investigation led by US attorney Michael Garcia. We have strictly adhered to all FIFA's rules and regulations for the 2018/2022 World Cup bidding process.' A FIFA statement said 'a thorough investigation was conducted by Michael Garcia and his conclusions are available in the report,' referring to the completed two-year inquiry.
Meanwhile, the Football Association is reported to be considering putting England forward as a potential host for the 2030 World Cup. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that no one in international football can bloody stand England. Because we're a bunch of self-deluded whingers who seem to believe that we're still a global power when, in fact, we haven't been for forty years. The last major tournament played in England was the 1996 European Championship, thirty years after the country hosted its only World Cup. FA chairman Greg Clarke says that the governing body's board has 'agreed to start work' to see if a bid is feasible. 'This work will take place during the new season and no decision will be made until 2019,' added Clarke. Wembley is already hosting seven games during Euro 2020 and the FA has bid to host the European Women's Championship in 2021. England failed with a bid to host the 2018 World Cup. Russia were instead announced as hosts by Sepp Blatter, the now disgraced and disgraceful former-president of FIFA. England felt aggrieved by that bidding process but it is thought the FA has been 'encouraged' over 2030 by the greater transparency around the recent vote for the 2026 World Cup, which was won by a joint United States, Canada and Mexico bid. It will now decide whether to bid to become the potential candidate from UEFA, European football's governing body. FIFA vice-president David Gill said in June England should have 'great confidence.' However, there is expected to be a strong joint bid from Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay, with 2030 marking the one hundredth-year anniversary of the first World Cup in Uruguay. There is no guarantee that the FA will decide to make a bid and many will no doubt see is as a doomed and needless waste of money after England's humiliating and ill-fated bid for the 2018 World Cup. But the fact that such a move is even being considered reflects a growing confidence from within the governing body that its image in the international game has improved. Significantly, the government is understood to be more supportive of the idea of bidding than it once was. The current government, that is. The next one, which may led by Comrade Corbyn is likely to be more interested in hosting the world ice hockey championships. Clarke also dismissed claims by former FA chairman Lord Triesman that England 'could step in' to host the 2022 World Cup, should Qatar be stripped of the competition. Which, they won't be. Clarke said: 'FIFA has chosen Qatar to host the 2022 World Cup and they have a duty to investigate any issues around the process that are rightly thrown into question. Russia did a brilliant job hosting the 2018 World Cup and we support the rotation of World Cup hosting around confederations. That would make the 2030 World Cup the next one a European nation might be able to host and not before. Anyone suggesting otherwise is acting disrespectfully to our global game and does not speak for the English FA.'
Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though tragically unsellable) Newcastle manager Rafael Benitez says that the club's fans 'need to be concerned' after an embarrassingly wretched four-nil hammering in their penultimate pre-season friendly at SC Braga. And, trust this blogger Rafa, we all are. As bloody usual around this time each season. Goals from Ricadro Horta, Joao Novais, Fransergio and Dyego Sousa condemned The Magpies to a 'worrying' defeat. 'Things are not going well off the pitch and you can see a reflection of that on the pitch,' admitted Benitez. No shit? Following the match in Portugal, Benitez claimed that he had 'no idea' about any potential new signings at the club before the Premier League season. The former Liverpool manager said that he wants 'another three or four players' before the transfer deadline on 9 August. But, as usual, public promises made by club's owner, that awful Ashley individual, appear to have been nothing but outright lies. In the same week in which Ashley has, reportedly, been in talks to inject money into the House of Fraser department store chain, once again he seems remarkably reluctant to put his hand in his pocket when it comes to the football club that he owns. 'We were poor and we made too many mistakes. We have to wake up - that's it,' added Benitez after the Braga game. 'You see the teams that have been promoted, the money they are spending. Put it all together and you understand why the fans need to be concerned. We are concerned. Everyone in the dressing room was really upset with our performance and with how things are going, but we will try to change things in the next ten days. Am I optimistic, thinking that in ten days, we can do what we didn't do in two months? I don't think so. But, still, I think it's obvious we need people, we need bodies. We have been talking for a while about players. I think it's the time to act, more than talk. I said two months ago what we needed and ten days before the start of season we still are where we are. There's four or five players we thought we could bring - but we haven't.' When asked if he was close to any new signings he said, bluntly, 'I have no idea.' The Magpies open their league campaign against Stottingtot Hotshots at St James' Park on 10 August, followed by fixtures against Cardiff City, Moscow Chelshi FC, Shiekh Yer Man City and The Arse. So, after five games of the new season, no prizes for guessing which club is likely to be very bottom of the Premier League. There was a modicum of good news for United this week as they confirmed that they have signed Japanese international striker Yoshinori Muto from Mainz on a four-year deal. The twenty six-year-old, who is The Magpies' fifth summer signing, scored eight goals for Mainz last season as they avoided relegation from the Bundesliga. Muto was in Japan's World Cup squad for Russia making one appearance - in the defeat to Poland. 'As the first Japanese Newcastle United player, I am honoured to be a player for such a big club,' he said. 'I hope to achieve good results - that is what I am here to do. I would like to perform well and leave my name in Newcastle's history.' Muto signed after being granted a work permit on Thursday. His fee is reported to be nine-and-a-half million notes and boosts the options for a team who scored but thirty nine Premier League goals in 2017-18, the second fewest of the top fourteen. His arrival follows that of Switzerland defender Fabian Schär from Deportivo La Coruna last week, while Benitez has also been able to sign goalkeeper Martin Dubravka on a permanent contract following a six-month loan spell. The Magpies added former Swansea midfielder Ki Sung-Yueng on a free transfer and Moscow Chelski FC midfielder Kenedy has returned on a season-long loan deal after the Brazilian had a successful six-month spell during the last campaign. However, a proposed move for West Bromwich Albinos striker Salomon Rondon - something which has dragged on for the majority of the summer - appears to have stalled at the eleventh hour. Dwight Gayle's unwillingness to leave Newcastle for a Championship side is reported to be 'hindering progress,' as are the alleged 'inferior contractual terms' said to be on offer to him. When asked about the Rondon situation Benitez noted: '[It] could be fine if we have an agreement but we have to respect West Brom and what they decide. It seems that Dwight Gayle will stay, so that's what we have at the moment.'
A five smacker note engraved with the image of the England striker Harry Kane has gone into circulation in Merthyr Tydfil. In Wales. Oh, the irony. Micro-engraver Graham Short made six of the notes after Kane won the Golden Boot for scoring the most goals during the 2018 World Cup. He used the note at a shop in Cefn Coed last Wednesday. The artist previously etched Jane Austen onto new deep-sea divers when they were first circulated and those have been valued at fifty grand. Short, from Birmingham, chose Merthyr Tydfil because his father was born in nearby Dowlais. The other notes were spent in Meriden in the West Midlands and the Elephant House in Edinburgh. A fourth note will be spent in Northern Ireland. He gifted the other two notes to the Football Association and to Stottingtot Hotshots forward Kane his very self. Because, obviously, Kane is a bit short of cash most of the time. Short uses very fine needles to scratch the images into clear sections of the notes. They remain legal tender, so it is up to sharp-eyed customers or shopkeepers to see if they have one. Explaining his decision to spend the money in Merthyr, Short said: 'I wanted someone to find it who perhaps needed the money, and they can perhaps sell it for whatever - holidays or Christmas. I like the magical feeling of it and just want people to be as excited as I am. It's just a bit of fun, but it also puts my art beyond the walls of a gallery. My art sells for a lot of money now and it's really out of reach for most people. But if they find this and sell it and make a lot of money, I'll be really pleased with that.' It is not the first time Short's work has been valued highly, with a portrait of the Queen being sold for one hundred thousand knicker in 2016. The valuation comes from the Tony Huggins-Haig Gallery, which insures his etchings at fifty thousand smackers each. Money specialist website Change Checker said that the phenomenon of people spending big money on banknotes depends on the notes having 'an interesting story behind them.' So, for example, if you have a tenner that Wayne Rooney once used to wipe his arse, then that might be worth a bloody fortune. It added: 'AA01 banknotes were part of the first batch of banknotes printed or serial number AK47 have been particularly popular thanks to the machine gun connotations. It really is just personal preference and what someone is willing to pay to have a certain banknote in their collection.'
Red and yellow cards will be issued to managers and coaches for 'misconduct in the technical area' and other nefarious skulduggery and stroppy indignation this season. Premier League managers will receive verbal cautions for 'irresponsible behaviour' in the 2018-19 campaign. But, in the FA Cup, Football League, EFL Cup, EFL Trophy and National League, they will be shown cards. Accumulating cautions will also lead to various suspensions, with four bookings warranting a one-match ban up to sixteen resulting in a misconduct charge. Previously, match officials only had the power to warn officials to behave themselves before sending them to the stands for more serious incidents. Cards can be issued for actions including inappropriate language or gestures towards match officials, kicking or throwing water bottles, sarcastic clapping and waving imaginary cards. This season will also see the introduction on competition-specific suspensions for players, rather than cautions carrying across multiple competitions.
There is no significant football action going on at the moment - you might have noticed - what with the 2018-19 campaign still a week away from starting. Other than pre-season friendlies, the only meaningful football at present are the UEFA Champions League and Europa League qualifying rounds. The second qualifying round fixtures finished this week, for entry into the third round before sides are set to face play-offs to earn entry into the group stage proper. Burnley's European adventure is set to continue, as they qualified for the third round after a hard-fought three-one extra-time victory over Aberdeen. Following a draw in the first leg, The Clarets broke the deadlock here in the second leg through Chris Wood, which added to their away goal advantage from the first leg at Pittodre. However, The Dons new signing, teenager Lewis Ferguson equalised in style with a sensational overhead kick which silenced Turf Moor before the half-time whistle, prompting fears that Sean Dyche's side would not progress. However, Burnley fought back into the game through Jack Cork's header and victory was secured as Ashley Barnes score from the penalty spot in the second-half of extra time. Burnley are set to face another tricky test against Turkish side Istanbul Basaksehir in the third round. The first leg will take place in Istanbul on August 9. The results for the majority of other qualifying rounds went as expected, as there were no major upsets and well-established sides secured their respective qualification through routine victories. Belgian side Genk progressed after a nine-one aggregate win over Fola Esch of Luxembourg, while Croat side Hajduk Split were four-two winners over Slavia Sofia. Bundesliga side RB Leipzig secured a five-one aggregate win against Sweden's BK Häcken, while Turkish giants Beşiktaş JK demolished B36 Tórshavn of the Faroe Islands eight-nil on aggregate. There were also comfortable wins for Sevilla - against once-great Hungarian side Újpest - and Serie A side Atalanta. CSKA Sofia, Sparta Prague, Hibernian, Vitesse Arnhem, Bordeaux, Maccabi Tel Aviv and Steven Gerrard's Glasgow Rangers also secured passage into the third-round with narrow wins of their own - the latter with a two-one aggregate win over NK Osijek of Croatia. Their progress, however, was somewhat marred by a nasty incident in which two men were seriously injured in violent clashes before the game in Glasgow. There was dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions, as Dean Ebbe's late goal saw The New Saints progress to the third qualifying round of the Europa League. The Welsh champions travelled to Gibraltar having beaten Lincoln Red Imps two-one in the home leg. Juan Manuel Montesinos Romero took advantage of a defensive mix-up to put the home side ahead in the second leg. But Ebbe restored The Saints' advantage on aggregate on the eighty-minute mark, meaning Scott Ruscoe's side will now face Midtjylland of Denmark. Crusaders were knocked out after a battling one-all draw against Olimpija Ljubljana. Paul Heatley's clinical finish earned Crues a deserved share of the spoils at Seaview in Belfast after Nik Kapun's low strike had put Olimpija ahead. The Slovenian side progress to the third qualifying round six-two on aggregate win thanks to their first-leg win. Iceland's Stjarnan defeated Nõmme Kalju FC of Estonia three-nil in Garðabær. The one major shock from this round of fixtures was Eredivisie side AZ Alkmaar, who lost three-two on aggregate to unfancied Kazakhstan outfit FC Kairat, despite a two-one win in the home leg. Albeit, Budapest Honvéd FC's home defeat to Luxembourg's FC Progrès Niederkorn would have been a major surprise if it had happened a couple of decades ago. Dinamo Minsk overcame Slovakia's Dunajská Streda whilst Cypriot champions AEK Larnaca thrashed League of Ireland's Dundalk four-nil. And, the excellently named Dynamo Brest of Belarus progressed at the expence of Greek side Atromitos. Some really big names were also playing in the Champions League second qualifying round where the likes of Glasgow Celtic, Ajax Amsterdam, Malmö FF, Dinamo Zagreb and Red Star Belgrade all made it safely through to the next stage of the competition.
An allegation that Mansfield Town's captain Krystian Pearce was racially abused during their pre-season friendly against Sheffield Wednesday is reportedly being 'looked into' by the Football Association. Tuesday's match is already under investigation by the FA after both sides were involved in a mass brawl with kids gettin' sparked an' aal sorts of bother and discombobulation. A Mansfield statement said that they had reported the incident to Nottinghamshire Police and the FA. Wednesday said they 'vehemently refuted any form of racist abuse. Sheffield Wednesday are aware of the very serious allegations made following the pre-season friendly with Mansfield Town on Tuesday 24 July,' a club statement said. 'The club vehemently refutes any form of racist abuse on our part and will vigorously defend itself should the need arise.' After the match, Stags boss David Flitcroft claimed to the media that something had 'riled' Pearce. 'With seven or eight minutes to go Pearcey was visibly upset with something, so I got him off the pitch,' he told the Sheffield Star. 'Pearcey has a character and a calmness about him as everyone can see. Supporters around here have known him longer than me. He has a calmness and assurance when playing football. But something riled him. Something rattled him and I was worried that, with him looking so wound up, he might do the wrong thing.'
Smaller football clubs are reportedly struggling to get their pitches ready for the new season after the recent heatwave in Great Britain. The long hot dry spell - with occasional flooding in between in some areas - has 'left many grounds unplayable' and some clubs say that they are losing thousands of pounds from cancelled pre-season matches. The risk has led to one council advising clubs to delay the season. But others, such as Kettering Town in Northamptonshire, have been using up to thirty thousand litres of water to soak their pitch and make it safe and playable. The chairman of Shepton Mallet AFC, Rodney Neale, who is also the club's groundsman, said that he, personally, would not play on their surface in Somerset. 'Imagine a youngster who has his career ahead of him putting his foot in [one of the holes] and breaking his ankle,' he said. The club, like thousands of others in the non-league pyramid, is run mainly by a mixture of volunteers and money from sponsors, usually local businesses. It also depends on income from pre-season fixtures, perhaps watched by several hundred supporters and many of those have been cancelled. This year the club has used about six tonnes of sand to fill the gaps in their bone-dry and cracked pitch, but ground staff accept they are fighting a losing battle. In Worcestershire, Redditch Borough Council has spoken to local football clubs saying 'safety must come first' and advised them to delay the start of the season. Tom Henman, from Redditch United, said that it previously has only had to cancel one match in eighteen months and has a 3G artificial surface. He accepted that a lot of other local clubs were suffering and said they had 'fixture swapped' so games that would have been cancelled can now go ahead. Kettering Town, which is in the Southern League, took a different approach to the problem with thirty thousand litres of water sprayed on the pitch. But it said that the watering was 'a balancing act' between making sure the pitch was playable without running the risk of having the game called off because of a waterlogged pitch. Lincoln City and Lincoln United had to cancel their pre-season fixture saying the heat had a 'detrimental effect on the pitch.'
Former England captain Terry Butcher has extremely quit as Philippines national coach before he had even taken charge of a match. The fifty nine-year-old was appointed on a two-year deal in June, starting this weekend, but 'he does not believe the right system is in place' for the country to be successful according to BBC Sport. Butcher, who made seventy seven appearances for England, has managed eight clubs since ending his playing career in 1990. Some of them really, really badly - most notably his thing-slappingly hilariously inept spell in charge of Blunderland. During which a terrace chant made up by supporters of local rivals Newcastle United, 'we put Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry Butcher on the dole, on the dole', soon came alarmingly true! 'I'm sorry to announce that I will not be proceeding in the role,' he said. In a statement to Press Association, Butcher, who has not managed since he was extremely sacked by Newport County in 2015, said: 'Across recent months I've been intensely engaged with many people to thoroughly understand and prepare for this exciting challenge. The vital issue for myself was to carefully build a robust plan to meet the football ambitions of the national team and "do the country proud." Regretfully, I've not been able to make this work in the way that I intended and I've decided not to continue in the role.' The Philippine Football Federation said it 'accepts with understanding' Butcher's decision.
Geraint Thomas became the third Briton to win the Tour De France when he crossed the finish line in Paris on Sunday. The Team Sky rider, follows Sir Bradley Wiggins in 2012 and four-time Tour champion Chris Froome as Britain - and Team Sky - celebrated a sixth win in seven years. Alexander Kristoff won the final sprint finish on the Champs-Elysees as Thomas crossed the line arm-in-arm with Froome after three weeks of racing. He beat Dutchman Tom Dumoulin by one minute fifty one seconds, with Froome finishing third. The Welshman, who rode in support of Froome in each of his four wins, had built up that lead over the previous twenty stages and Tour convention dictates that the yellow jersey is not challenged on the final stage. 'When I rode on the Champs-Elysees for the first time in 2007, that was insane - just to finish the race and just to be a part of it,' Thomas told ITV. 'To now be riding round winning it is just incredible. It's just a whirlwind. I seem to be floating around on cloud nine. Maybe when I'm seventy, sat in a corner of a pub telling some eighteen-year-old what I used to be, it will sink in. It's incredible, the stuff of dreams.' Froome was heavy favourite to become the fifth rider to win a record-equalling fifth Tour De France title. He came into the race as defending champion and holder of all three Grand Tour titles, having won the Vuelta A Espana last September and the Giro D'Italia in May. However, he was only cleared to race the week before the Tour started, after his anti-doping case was dropped by cycling's world governing body, the UCI. But his hopes of matching Eddy Merckx's record of four consecutive Grand Tour victories were ended in the Pyrenees mountains in the final week as Thomas proved to be the strongest rider. The final one hundred and sixteen kilometre stage began in Houilles, to the North of Paris and the riders took a leisurely pace into the capital before embarking on eight laps of the city centre. Team Sky led the peloton into Paris, having allowed France's Sylvain Chavanel to ride clear for one lap in his final Tour in recognition of his achievement of completing a record eighteenth race. Six riders attacked off the front of the peloton and built an advantage of about forty five seconds, but they were eventually reeled in on the final lap, with six kilometres remaining. World champion Peter Sagan's Bora-Hansgrohe team-mates did the bulk of the chasing, hoping to help the winner of the green points classification jersey to a first win in Paris, but Norwegian Kristoff outsprinted Frenchman Arnaud Demare and Germany's John Degenkolb after Yves Lampaert's late attack failed. Thomas rode over the line a few seconds later, alongside Froome. Thomas' victory comes in his ninth Tour, one fewer than the record for most appearances before winning, held by 1980 winner Joop Zoetemelk of the Netherlands. Like many British riders, he raced on both the track and the road in the early part of his career, winning two Olympic and three world team pursuit titles on the track between 2007 and 2012. He also won gold at the 2014 Commonwealth Games in the road race. His sacrifice in helping Froome win four Tours has meant Thomas' best finish before this year was fifteenth. He has also been dogged by bad luck. He fractured his pelvis on stage one in 2013 but rode the remaining twenty stages to help Froome win; in 2015 he crashed head first into a telegraph pole and in 2017 broke a collarbone on stage nine. This year, he rode a near faultless race to cement his place among Britain's greatest cyclists. Asked if he ever thought Thomas could win a Grand Tour, his former Team Sky teammate Mark Cavendish, who has won thirty Tour De France stages, told BBC Sport: 'Recently, yes. But there is a definite hierarchy in Team Sky so I didn't know if he'd get the opportunity. If they had said to Geraint "right, now you've got to work for Froome" he'd have done it. That's the kind of guy he is. That's what is special about him and why he deserves the win. He's the most loyal guy you'll ever meet.' Former British cyclist Chris Boardman, who won three Tour stages and wore the yellow jersey, said Thomas is 'the most popular winner for years. No disrespect to those who have gone before him but he's always laid it down for someone else and sacrificed himself for someone else.'
Whilst Geraint Thomas was winning the Tour, Germany's Pascal Ackermann surged past his rivals to win the Ride London-Surrey Classic in a bunch sprint finish. The twenty four-year-old Bora-Hansgrohe rider kicked with two hundred metres to go on The Mall to hold off Italy's Elia Viviani and win in four hours twenty minutes. Viviani's compatriot Giacomo Nizzolo finished third and Britain's Mark Cavendish twelfth. The one hundred and eighty three kilometre race came down to a sprint finish after a five-man break was caught with six kilometres remaining. Ackermann won the second stage of the Criterium Du Dauphine in June. 'It was an amazing job with how the team brought me back in the end. I crashed in the middle of the race but came back,' he told BBC Sport. 'I spoke to the team yesterday and told them I was in really good shape and we did it. I am really proud.' The German road race champion timed his effort up the inside to perfection as Quick-Step Floors rider Viviani ran out of gas. A breakaway group containing Bahrain-Merida riders Valerio Agnoli and Manuele Boaro stayed clear until the final stages. Cavendish stayed near the front of the peloton throughout, flanked by his Dimension Data team-mates, but as the sprint trains assembled on The Mall he was too far back to influence the outcome. The Ride London-Surrey Classic - billed as the world's richest one-day race with a total prize fund of one hundred thousand Euros - was awarded top-tier World Tour status in 2016.
Lewis Hamilton won a tense strategic battle at the Hungarian Grand Prix to head into Formula 1's summer break with a twenty four-point championship lead on Sunday. Ferrari appeared to blow their best chance to challenge the Mercedes driver, delaying a pit stop for Sebastian Vettel long enough to lose their advantage over Hamilton's team-mate Valtteri Bottas and emerge behind the Finn. It was a critical error that could have cost Vettel second place - but he fought back and passed Bottas with five laps to go. Bottas misjudged an attempt to defend from Vettel, who passed on the outside on the run to turn two. Trying to keep the place from too far back, Bottas locked a wheel, slid onto the kerb, hit Vettel and damaged the Mercedes' front wing. Vettel emerged unscathed and Bottas carried on, only to have another contact with Red Bull's Daniel Ricciardo when the Australian tried to pass around the outside at turn one and Bottas locked up and slid into him. Bottas' troubles allowed Kimi Raikkonen to come through into third place behind his Ferrari team-mate, while Ricciardo passed him on the last lap to take fourth. Despite the late drama, the big picture is that Ferrari have now lost two races in a row that they might have won in different circumstances. Hamilton's advantage with nine races to go is almost a race victory and puts him in a strong position for when the season re-starts in Belgium at the end of August. Mercedes went into the race pondering how best to maintain the first and second positions they earned thanks to rain in qualifying - had it been dry, they were resigned to the Ferraris being faster. Mercedes accepted that Ferrari would be faster in the race, too, so it was a case of how best to play the strategy to try to keep Hamilton in the lead. Hamilton and Bottas led from the start and Vettel passed Raikkonen to run third in the early laps. The Mercedes were on the ultra-soft tyres, while Vettel was on the more durable softs, planning to run long and attack at the end of the race. The plan was working well for a while. An early pit stop for Raikkonen on lap fourteen triggered a response from Mercedes a lap later with Bottas and now Vettel was in second behind Hamilton. But the world champion's tyres were hanging on better than might have been feared and he held an eight-second lead over Vettel until beginning to lose time shortly before his pit stop on lap twenty five. That put Vettel in the lead, and by lap twenty nine the German had enough of a lead over Bottas to make a pit stop and re-emerge in the lead. But Ferrari preferred to wait, to ensure he did not have too long to run on the ultra-soft tyres in his final stint. They arguably waited too long. For a few laps, Vettel had five seconds in hand beyond the twenty seconds that would be lost in a pit stop, but from lap thirty five Bottas began to eat into Vettel's advantage. The Finn then unleashed a fastest lap on lap thirty eight, two seconds quicker than he had been going before and when Vettel pulled into the pits on lap thirty nine it was now touch and go whether he would get out in front. A problem fitting the left front wheel delayed Vettel and ensured he emerged behind the Mercedes. From hoping to attack Hamilton, Vettel now had to try to find a way past Bottas. And, despite the Mercedes' fading tyres and the Ferrari right behind him for thirty laps, Bottas drove superbly to hold on until five laps to go and the critical incident. Vettel closed in at turn one, Bottas squirmed under power on the exit and Vettel got the run on the Mercedes into turn two. Bottas then seemed to lose his head. Not only did he clash with Vettel but he made another error in the incident with Ricciardo, who despite being forced off track caught the Mercedes again. Bottas was ordered by his team to give the place back, perhaps hoping to avoid a penalty when the stewards investigate after the race. Bottas was given a ten-second penalty but it made no difference to the result. Ricciardo drove well to fight from twelfth on the grid to finish fourth for Red Bull, despite the damage from the Bottas incident. Their second driver Max Verstappen retired from fifth place in the early stages with the latest in a series of engine problems, causing the Dutchman to swear angrily into the radio at his frustration at the repeated problems. Pierre Gasly took a strong sixth for Toro Rosso, from the same place on the grid after excelling in qualifying, ahead of Haas driver Kevin Magnussen. There was finally some good news for Fernando Alonso on the two-time world champion's thirty seventh birthday. McLaren made the same strategy as Vettel work beautifully, jumping Alonso and team-mate Stoffel Vandoorne ahead of Renault's Carlos Sainz, Haas' Romain Grosjean, Toro Rosso's Brendon Hartley and Renault's Nico Hulkenberg to take eighth. Sadly for the under-pressure Vandoorne, after his best race for some time, the Belgian's gearbox broke with nineteen laps to go and he had to retire.
Italian discus-thrower Daisy Osakue has left hospital after she was hit in the eye by an egg thrown from a car, in an attack which she believes was 'racially motivated.' Police in Turin have cast doubt on any racist link, but the attack has inflamed a row surrounding populist Interior Minister Matteo Salvini. Salvini has rejected claims by political opponents of a 'racism emergency.' He argues that the only emergency he is fighting 'involves crimes by immigrants.' Osakue, whose parents are originally from Nigeria, suffered damage to her cornea in the attack early on Monday in the Moncalieri area of Southern Turin. She had been training in the US for ten months and had returned to Italy to find 'a different country. Certainly the climate of widespread violence that I see scares me,' she said. She holds Italy's under-twenty three discus record and is set to take part in the European Athletics Championships which get under way in Berlin on 7 August. She was concerned that the injury could affect her ability to compete. 'I'll do all I can to be in Berlin,' she told reporters, adding that it was 'just an abrasion' and after a few days and some eye drops she should be fine. The athlete, who has been studying in Texas, insists that she was targeted on purpose by attackers in a Fiat Doblo car as she walked home shortly after midnight. 'They didn't want to attack me, as Daisy. They wanted to hit me as a young woman of colour. That's an area used by prostitutes and I was mistaken for one of them,' she said, pointing out that there were other people in the vicinity at the time but she was singled out. She had been the focus of verbal racist attacks in the past, but when it involved a racist action she felt another wall had been breached. Police said there had been 'other attacks involving eggs being thrown' earlier in the month and did not suspect a racist link to the latest incident. Last week, three women in the Moncalieri area were targeted as they left a restaurant. However, the case has prompted criticism of Matteo Salvini, the right-wing leader of Italy's anti-immigration League party, which is in government with the populist Five Star Movement. Salvini has targeted illegal immigration and immigrant crime since he arrived at the interior ministry and has seen his party's popularity surge. Last week, a Roma camp was cleared in the capital, weeks after he said that all Roma should be counted and foreign Roma deported. A Moroccan man died in a hospital South of Rome after residents suspecting him of 'planning a robbery' chased his car and then beat him up when he crashed. Salvini said it was 'nonsense' and 'an invention of the left' to speak of 'a racism emergency' in Italy, arguing that in the space of just three days ninety five immigrants were arrested. He was backed up by Five Star government partner Luigi Di Maio who said such cases were being used by their opponents to argue the government was 'instigating racism.' And, by the other members of Five Star who added 'rain or shine, you'll always be one in a million.' Italian Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte took a different line and phoned Osakue after she left hospital, saying that Italy should not lower its guard towards any race attacks. Conte was on the way back from a visit to the White House, where President - and hairdo - Rump praised Italy's handling of immigration.
Women are being warned against'risky cosmetic rejuvenating procedures' to 'reshape and tighten' their vagina. Experts suggest that the alleged 'therapies', offered by some private clinics in the UK and the US, 'pose a serious risk of burns, scarring and recurring pain.' Typically during these procedures, a probe is inserted into the vagina to heat or laser the vaginal tissue. Although it is non-surgical and can be done in a lunch hour, it is 'not necessarily safe,' say officials. Laser and energy-based devices have been approved for use in destroying pre-cancerous cells in cervical or vaginal tissue, as well as genital warts, but they have 'not undergone testing for rejuvenation therapies.' US regulator, the FDA, says it will 'take action' if deceptive marketing of 'the dangerous procedure with no proven benefit' continues. It says a growing number of manufacturers have been claiming the procedure can treat conditions and symptoms related to menopause, urinary incontinence or sexual function. 'These products have serious risks and don't have adequate evidence to support their use for these purposes. We are deeply concerned women are being harmed,' says the FDA warning. Paul Banwell, consultant plastic surgeon and member of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, shared the FDA's concerns: 'There has been an exponential rise in the interest in women's health and sexual well-being and whilst this should be encouraged, it is vital that any educational and treatment initiatives are provided in a sensitive manner free of any misleading or marketing hyperbole.' Doctor Vanessa Mackay, from the UK's Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, said: 'There is no evidence to suggest that non-surgical "vaginal rejuvenation" devices are effective in improving vaginal muscle tone or reshaping vaginal tissue. If women are concerned about the appearance or feel of their vagina, they should speak to a healthcare professional. It is important to remember, however, that every woman's vagina is different. Labia are as individual as women themselves and vary in appearance and colour. To strengthen the muscles around the vagina, women are encouraged to try pelvic floor exercises which can help to improve muscle tone and sensitivity during sex.' Vaginal dryness is a common but treatable problem that many women experience at some point in their lives. It can be caused by a number of things including the menopause, breastfeeding, childbirth, not being aroused before sex and some types of contraception. Women are encouraged to try self-help options before seeing a healthcare professional, including vaginal moisturisers and lubricants. If these aren't effective, a doctor may prescribe vaginal oestrogen, says the RCOG.
A man extinguished a fire on the world's longest pleasure pier by urinating on it. Thomas Watson reportedly noticed a small fire on the deserted Southend Pier and 'took matters into his own hands' - quite literally - by relieving himself over the flames. The council thanked Watson for his 'quick-thinking tinkling' but said that it was 'confident' its own sprinkler system would have worked, as the Sun reported. Essex Fire Service confirmed it was called but no action was required. Watson, from Houghton Regis in Bedfordshire, was visiting the pier with his partner and their daughter on Friday when he noticed smoke and small flames on the wooden planks. The weather had turned and 'we were literally the last people there,' he told the BBC. Watson said the fire was 'only small on top,' but a lot of smoke was coming from underneath and he 'thought it was all burning under there. I looked at it and the wood was proper charring away, like white with an orange glow. Using my initiative I decided to empty my bladder.' Although his partner had called the fire service, Watson had tackled it by the time crews arrived. A Southend Borough Council spokesman said: 'Whilst we have faith our sprinkler system would have soon sprung into action, we understand the visitor deployed his own sprinkler system to swiftly extinguish the miniature inferno.' He said the family could come back and visit the pier for free, but added: '[We] kindly ask that he keeps his trousers firmly secured on this occasion.'
There is really only one contender for From The North's Headline Of The Week award, Teeside Live's Drunk whacked penis on women's car then did poo in street - as they sat and ate chips. Which, frankly, is just a normal day in Redcar. This blogger is right partial to a nice bag of chips, dear blog reader. Anyway ...
That said, the Metro's Thieves nick shark from aquarium by wrapping it up to make it look like a baby pushes the car whacking, pooing and chips story a close second. The unnamed thief took the shark from a petting tank at the San Antonio Aquarium then wrapped it up to look like a baby then wheeled it out in a pram. Footage from inside the aquarium shows two men and a woman sneaking the two to three foot long grey horn shark from the building on Saturday. They've even got video footage of the incident and everything!
A suburban Seattle mother has reportedly been charged with felony assault and general 'bad-mommyness' following an attack last year on a sixth-grade girl at a basketball game between two Catholic schools. Authorities claim that thirty eight-year-old Monique Altheimer went onto the basketball court during a December game in Seattle and choked the child who had fought with the suspect's daughter during 'an aggressive ball game.' Investigators say that Altheimer was 'cursing at the victim as she strangled her,' and she elbowed another eleven-year-old girl who was trying to help her teammate. The victim was starting to black out when her own mother appeared to knock Altheimer down and stop the attack. Charging documents filed last week note that Altheimer 'has been previously convicted of assault.'
A cut-in line for free samples at a Costco turned into a fight between two seventy-year-old men, according to police. One of the men claimed that he was waiting in line for 'a complimentary piece of cheese' at the Costco in Greenville, South Carolina, when a seventy two-year-old man 'cut in line, took some cheese and walked off,' according to a 26 July incident report. The first man, seemingly, wasn't having any of that malarkey. After he moved on to another line with free samples of cheeseburgers, police said that the man saw the seventy two-year-old approaching. The first chap was still reportedly upset about being cut in front of and, according to the incident report, he told the other man that 'he could get in front of him because he knew he would just cut the line anyway.' The seventy two-year-old man responded by saying 'I will do it again!' - then added, 'You're a jerk,' police reported. A fracas them broke out between the two. The seventy two-year-old then hit the seventy-year-old in the right side of his head and caused his hat and glasses to get knocked off, according to the report. The woman member of staff who was working at the cheeseburger sample stand said 'she saw two men argue in front of her station' and she confirmed the seventy-year-old's account when she told police that a 'man in a Hawaiian shirt hit the other man in the head and it sounded very loud and that the man's hat flew off his head.' Though the aggressor had left the Costco by the time that police officers arrived, they soon tracked him down. Cos, he's old and he hadn't got very far, probably. When an officer reached him on the phone, the seventy two-year-old admitted that he was 'involved in an altercation.' Police reported that he said he 'hit the man's hat off his head after the man got in his face and he felt that the man was going to hit him because the man was balling his fist.' Greenville Police Department Public Affairs Manager Donald Porter told The State that no arrests have been made in the incident. Police are attempting to get surveillance footage from Costco to help in the investigation and the responding officer said that 'further investigation' was needed because the men's stories 'are inconsistent' and 'the witness did not have much to say.'
A man in Austin, Texas was extremely arrested after unsuccessfully attempting to rob a Whataburger 'with a pair of tongs,'according to officers. Although, to be fair, they might well have been, you know, quite sharp tongs. The sort that could give someone quite a nasty nip in certain circumstances. After reviewing surveillance video, authorities say that forty four-year-old David Garcia-Gonzalez, 'who had difficulty maintaining balance while walking,' approached a Whataburger. After 'loitering in the business for a while,' he reportedly grabbed a pair of metal tongs and walked up to an employee who had opened the register. The suspect approached her from behind and 'started jabbing her with the tongs' whilst, repeatedly, demanding money. Garcia-Gonzalez was eventually confronted by another employee - one who was, seemingly, unafraid of the tongs - who ordered him to leave the restaurant. The then suspect fled the scene and was later detained by officers at a nearby car wash.
An Arkansas woman is currently in jail after telling police she shot and killed her husband ... because he purchased pornography. Jefferson County authorities say that sixty nine-year-old Patricia Hill called nine-one-one to report what she had done. Hill told dispatchers that she shot her husband, sixty five-year-old Frank Hill. She told investigators that she had cancelled his subscription when she found out he ordered television porn. Hill said she then asked her husband to leave the house and when he refused, she shot him. Investigators found the man - who had been shot twice - in a backyard shed. 'There's a shed that he would frequent from time to time, I'm not sure if it was designated as a man cave or whatever but he was found inside that shed,' said Major Lafayette Woods.
A school superintendent accused of repeatedly defecating on another high school's track has resigned. The Star-Ledger of Newark reports that the Kenilworth school board accepted Thomas Tramaglini's resignation Thursday. In an e-mail sent to staff, the board said that it 'became clear' his continued service became 'too much of a distraction.' Tramaglini is charged with public defecation, lewdness and littering. A court hearing is pending. Authorities say that surveillance video caught Tramaglini in late April following an early morning run at Holmdel High School. Police said staff members were watching to see who had been leaving human faeces on the property. His lawyer, Matthew Adams, issued a statement saying that Tramaglini will 'continue to fight the allegations' and that his resignation should not 'be construed as an acknowledgement of guilt.' Neither Adams nor authorities have said why Tramaglini allegedly did what police allege he did. Adams also said that Tramaglini plans to sue Holmdel police over the mug shot taken after his arrest, claiming they should not have photographed him at police headquarters because the public defecation, lewdness and litter charges were 'low-level municipal offences.''It's like getting photographed and fingerprinted for a speeding ticket,' Adams told the newspaper. He has filed a tort claim notice which lists potential damages of more than one million bucks due to 'loss of income, harm to his reputation, emotional distress and invasion of privacy.''It is our position that the photograph that has been widely disseminated was unlawfully taken and maliciously distributed,' Adams said.
Bernard Hepton, who died this week aged ninety two, was one of those great character actors whom viewers were always glad to see again. He could be plain and morose, or authoritative and stern, or he could be extremely funny, but he never let the audience down, whether as the German Kommandant with a human streak in Colditz (1972 to 1974), or as an ordinary, humdrum 'television watcher' in Jack Rosenthal's sitcom Sadie, It's Cold Outside (1975), opposite Rosemary Leach. He once described himself as 'specialising in rather dodgy foreigners,' but was unable to account for his often exotic casting since he was, in fact, a proud Yorkshireman. The 1970s was Hepton's decade of greatest activity and exposure. He was hardly off our small screens, appearing as Thomas Cranmer in two BBC blockbusters, The Six Wives Of Henry VIII (1970) and the following year's Elizabeth R (1971), with Glenda Jackson in the title role. Then he popped up as the Greek freedman, Pallas, in I, Claudius (1976) and the intelligence officer Toby Esterhase in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (1979), a role he repeated with subtler inflections and a less English accent in the sequel Smiley's People three years later. In addition, he was a flustered press officer in Philip Mackie's The Organisation (1972), a satire on power games co-starring Peter Egan and Donald Sinden, an incompetent, very funny management figure in Eric Chappell's sitcom The Squirrels (1975) and, perhaps most memorably, as the Belgian resistance fighter Albert Foiret, running a restaurant patronised by Nazis while smuggling out prisoners of war in the BBC's acclaimed drama Secret Army (1977 to 1979).
As an actor, he could transform himself without make-up into a king or a yokel. His voice was strong, Yorkshire-tinged, his bearing firm, his timing impeccable, his range impressive. Chronically shortsighted, he could hide effectively behind spectacles, but without them he bared an unusual moon-like face, curiously blank and yet highly expressive at the same time. Bernard was born in Bradford and grew up in the same street as JB Priestley twenty years earlier. He was the son of Bernard Heptonstall, an electrician, and his wife, Hilda, who came from a family of mill workers. The tedium of his duty as a teenage fire-watcher during wartime was relieved by some one-act plays the woman in charge of the watch brought along and this led to Bernard joining the local amateur drama company based at Bradford Civic Playhouse. His eyesight exempted him from a military call-up, so he trained as an aircraft engineer and a draughtsman. But, he continued with the playhouse and when the incoming director, Esmé Church, founded her short-lived drama school in 1945, he was her first student; Robert Stephens, another of her proteges, said of Hepton, 'immediately, you could see that he was brilliant.' He went straight into fortnightly rep in York for two years, worked at Windsor and Birmingham, the most talked about regional theatre of the day. Barry Jackson, its founder, became his second great mentor after Church and Bernard graduated from small roles in 1952 to director of productions for Jackson in 1955. He had eased this promotion by accidentally becoming proficient as a fight director with a fellow Rep actor and he was invited to the Old Vic in London to arrange the fights for Richard Burton's Hamlet in 1953. Back in Birmingham, he directed RC Sherriff's The Long Sunset and Peter Ustinov's Romanoff & Juliet and undertook Beckett's monologue of reminiscences in Krapp's Last Tape. Now well-established, after Jackson departed from the company, Hepton took on the directorship of Liverpool Playhouse in 1963, only to run into disagreements with a conservative board over his daring choice of repertoire, including Max Frisch's The Fire-Raisers and John Osborne's Luther. He also took up cudgels in the Gruniad Morning Star with Peter Hall, arguing that there should be six national theatres throughout Britain and not just one in London, all funded equally and of equal status.For someone so highly regarded within his profession it is surprising that Bernard never worked with the National Theatre or the Royal Shakespeare Company. Instead, leaving Liverpool within a year, he joined the newly founded BBC2 channel in 1964, with ideas of producing and directing there - he had actually made his TV debut as long ago as 1955 in a BBC Birmingham adaptation of Shaw's You Never Can Tell) followed by a performance as Sir Thomas More in Robert Bolt's A Man For All Seasons two years later. As a producer (and occasional director), he worked during the mid 1960s on the soaps Compact and United! and the dramas Swizzlewick, Thursday Theatre and The Wednesday Thriller. But he was soon back in front of the camera. He played Wemmick in a Hugh Leonard 1967 serialisation of Great Expectations and Mister Farebrother in a 1968 version of George Eliot's Middlemarch. In 1969 he was a fascinating Caiphas in Dennis Potter's controversial Son Of Man, in which Colin Blakely was a disconcertingly human, socialist-minded - and, possibly schizophrenic - Jesus, inevitably incurring an accusation of blasphemy from that dreadful Whitehouse woman and her Clean-Up TV campaign. It was one of the finest Wednesday Plays in that hallowed BBC single-play slot.
In the 1980s Hepton achieved a lifelong ambition in playing Inspector Goole in a BBC production of Priestley's An Inspector Calls and resumed his association with BBC classic serials as Sir Thomas Bertram in Mansfield Park and as the withered rag-and-bone man Krook in Bleak House. He chilled viewers on Christmas Eve 1989, as the landowner Sam Toovey in Herbert Wise's production of The Woman In Black and was brilliant in Andrew Davies's adaptation of The Old Devils in 1992. The BBC's Emma, again adapted by Davies, in 1996 was thought by many far superior to the Hollywood take on the same Jane Austen novel; the BBC cast Kate Beckinsale as the headstrong heroine, with Hepton as her hypochondriac father, Mister Woodhouse, and notable support from Samantha Morton, Olivia Williams and Mark Strong. His CV also included appearances in The Newcomers, Boy Meets Girl, The Spanish Farm, Out Of The Unknown, Thirty Minute Theatre, The Troubleshooters, The Elusive Pimpernel, Manhunt, Catweazel, The Main Chance, Z Cars, Doomwatch, Dennis Potter's Follow The Yellow Brick Road, Some Mothers Do Have 'Em, A Pin To See Th Peepshow, Village Hall, Centre Play, Orde Wingate, Blood Money, Kessler (the short-lived, a somewhat under-rated sequel to Secret Army), Cockles, Bergerac, The Life & Loves Of A She-Devil, The Charmer, A Perfect Hero, The Lady' Not For Burning, Dandelion Dead and Midsomer Murders.
On stage he played Tesman in Hedda Gabler at the Bristol Old Vic and Shylock in The Merchant Of Venice at the Yvonne Arnaud, Guildford, but other classical roles often eluded him. He made amends of a sort in the 1982 London premiere of Alan Ayckbourn's Season's Greetings, first at Greenwich and then at the Apollo, Shaftesbury Avenue, in which he was the self-effacing star of the show as the muddled doctor with aspirations to puppetry. His film career was limited, too, embracing a third go at Thomas Cranmer in Waris Hussein's big-screen follow-up to the BBC series, Henry VIII & His Six Wives (1972), and small - but, certainly in the case of the former, crucial - roles in two Michael Caine movies, Mike Hodges's terrific Get Carter (1971) and John Frankenheimer's more mundane The Holcroft Covenant (1985). Bernard married in 1957 the actress Nancie Jackson, who he had first met when she played his wife in A Man For All Seasons and they settled in Barnes, with a fine collection of paintings. Two years after Nancie's death in 1977, he married Hilary Liddell. She died in 2013. He is survived by a niece and nephew.
And, finally, dear blog reader ...

The BBC have announced that principal photography on the eleventh series of Doctor Who, starring yer actual Jodie Whittaker as The Doctor, was completed earlier this week. The series is due to be broadcast later this year. You knew that, right?
The BBC is continuing its attempt to get the US courts to force computer firms to release details identifying the naughty individual who naughtily leaked a short section from the upcoming series of Doctor Who. In June, a fifty three-second clip was released unofficially online. If you missed it dear blog reader, it was very good. The latest BBC action confirms what everyone who saw the thing had guessed, that this was from episode one of the new series. Last month it was reported that the BBC had asked a California court to force the online platform Tapatalk to 'produce information allowing the identification of the source of the leak.' On 2 August, BBC Worldwide Limited filed a request in the United States District Court for the Western District of Washington State, under the terms of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. The act, introduced in 1998, is designed to enable copyright holders to learn the identities of suspected infringers of their copyright material. So that they can, you know, 'have a word with them.' Or, kick their bollocks. Or something equally eye-watering. The subpoena asks Microsoft to disclose details of the owner of the OneDrive account on which the stolen clip was stored. The subpoena does not need to be approved by a judge. Once drafted, it is simply checked by a court clerk for completeness, before being issued to the service provider, who is then required to hand over any relevant identification, including the name, e-mail and other information collected.
An award of some sort for 'the most hilariously over-the-top speculative article based on nothing which made the media site reporting it look like foolish fools in their damn foolishness' is due to the Digital Spy website. Actually, such an award is due to the Digital Spy website most weeks, but this week in particular. Earlier this week, they published a piece which claimed that a new series of Sherlock'could' be in the offing, only to be required to hastily change the story a few hours later when Mark Gatiss slapped them down with withering disdain and told then that they were, you know, talking a right load of old crap. 'In what could be fantastic news for everyone who's missing seeing Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman teaming up on screen, a rumour has emerged that a fifth series is actually more imminent than we'd all thought,' the website suggested. Because, of course, 'rumours' are always so reliable. 'The surprise hint,' they added, had been 'dropped by Chris Georgiou, whose business Speedy's Cafe has become a bit of a star since it started featuring as the neighbour of 221B Baker Street ... Georgiou has hinted that they've already received the call, telling Time Out: "I probably shouldn't be saying this, but I've heard they'll be coming back for a fifth season."' No, you probably shouldn't be saying it, Chris. Gatiss soon 'downplayed the credibility' of Georgiou's comments, dismissing talk of the popular drama returning any time soon as 'utter nonsense.'
So, Sherlock isn't coming back. At least, not for the foreseeable future. But, someone is. Sir Patrick Stewart his very self is, if you will, boldly going exactly where he has been before - by reprising the Star Trek: The Next Generation role of Jean-Luc Picard. The character will feature in a new CBS All Access series chronicling his life after he left the Enterprise. The actor announced the news in a surprise appearance at a Star Trek convention in Las Vegas on Saturday, after months of speculation. Sir Patrick played Picard in one hundred and seventy eight episodes of the SF television series between 1987 and 1994 and in four spin-off movies (three of them quite good). 'I will always be very proud to have been a part of the Star Trek: The Next Generation, but when we wrapped that final movie in the spring of 2002, I truly felt my time with Star Trek had run its natural course,' said the actor, who lives in New York City. 'It is an unexpected but delightful surprise to find myself excited and invigorated to be returning to Jean-Luc Picard and to explore new dimensions with him.' Alex Kurtzman, the executive producer on the new yet-to-be-named show, said: 'It's a privilege to welcome Sir Patrick Stewart back into the Star Trek fold. For over twenty years, fans have hoped for the return of Captain Jean-Luc Picard and that day is finally here. We can't wait to forge new ground, surprise people and honour generations both new and old,' Kurtzman added.
Former EastEnders actor Khali Best has been cast in series six of ITV's Endeavour judging by location photos released this week.
This very week has also seen the first released images of the forthcoming fifth - and final - series of From The North favourite Gotham. And, very tasty they look, too. Particularly Erin Richards' new 'even-more-badass-than-usual' look!
Another long-term From The North favourite yer actual Gillian Anderson her very self turned fifty on Friday of this week. Still a fine lookin' lady, the Divine Gillian is (as well as, obviously, a world class, award-winning actress of outstanding ability. He said, quickly, remembering his responsibilities as a man in the Twenty First Century).
There was another terrifically weird episode of current From The North favourite Picnic At Hanging Rock broadcast this week on Beeb2 - the penultimate one if you're taking notes; particularly impressive was director Michael Rymer's trippy camerawork during Hester's (several) guilt and brandy-induced nightmares. All Vertigo-influences weird angles and queasy 'everything's the wrong way up'-type malarkey. Very disturbing.
Coronation Street is adding Maureen Lipman to the list of acclaimed actors joining its ranks - she will play 'outspoken battleaxe' Evelyn Plummer, the grandmother of the character Tyrone Dobbs. Her character comes into Tyrone's life when he researches his family history after the death of his mother, Jackie. She will 'ruffle a few feathers on the Street,' according to ITV, much to the dismay of Tyrone's girlfriend Fiz. The show's producer Iain MacLeod said that he was 'beyond thrilled.' He described Evelyn as a 'great new character' saying he was 'so pleased' she would be 'played by someone of Maureen's pedigree. Evelyn is eye-wateringly withering and will add a fresh dollop of Northern humour to the show as she turns Tyrone and Fiz's lives upside down,' he added. Lipman is currently appearing in new a one-woman show at Edinburgh Festival Fringe called Up For It. Her late husband, Jack Rosenthal who died in 2004, wrote and produced over two hundred and fifty episodes of Coronation Street. Lipman told BBC's Breakfast that she wasn't sure at first if she would be able to fit a soap role in alongside her Edinburgh show. 'I got the call from Coronation Street and I thought "I can't do this because I've got a show,"' she said. 'I've got a picture of my late husband, a triptych and there are lights above it. And I was saying "I don't think I can do it" and then the light came on - above his picture! So I thought okay and I am now a character in the Street - and a pretty nasty one at that. I'm playing a monster.' She is among several big names to have appeared on the long-running ITV soap, including Sir Ian McKellen, Andrew Sachs, Rula Lenska, Stephanie Beacham, Nigel Havers and Noddy Holder. The show also featured Sir Ben Kingsley, Martin Shaw and Joanna Lumley early in their careers. Lipman, who previously appeared in the soap in 2002 as a relief manageress at the Rovers, will return to the cobbles in September.
EastEnders, Casualty and Holby City are getting a new boss, with Kate Oates joining as senior executive producer for all three BBC dramas. The former Emmerdale and Coronation Street executive producer will be taking over the Walford soap from John Yorke - who stepped in to run EastEnders on a temporary basis last year. Speaking about her new appointment, Kate said: 'Working across EastEnders, Casualty and Holby City is an amazing opportunity for me to have creative input into three of the UK's leading dramas. I'm excited about meeting the teams and talent behind each show and can't wait to get stuck in and tell some unmissable stories.' Oates will report in to BBC Studios' Head of Continuing Drama Series, Oliver Kent and begins her role in October. Mark Linsey, CCO of BBC Studios, said: 'Kate is a dynamic, passionate and creative storyteller and I couldn't be more thrilled that she's joining BBC Studios to work with our fantastic teams. At EastEnders, she will be taking the baton from John Yorke, who stepped in to run the show on a temporary basis in June 2017. I'd like to personally thank him for the great job he's done during this interim period. John will continue to work together with Kate to ensure a smooth handover until the end of the year and we will be announcing his next role with us in the coming weeks.' Director of BBC Content Charlotte Moore added: 'Kate Oates is a really thrilling appointment; she has a real passion for soaps and I have no doubt that her experience, creative flair and dynamism will excite the next generation of BBC soap fans. I would like to thank John Yorke for everything he has done over the last year on EastEnders and I look forward to seeing Kate take over the creative baton.' Oates joined Emmerdale in 2010 where she rose from story editor to series producer, before moving to produce Coronation Street in 2016.
Freeview has reportedly'enjoyed a record spike in interest' as disgruntled Virgin Media customers seek ways to watch channels such as Dave and Drama which have been pulled from its pay-TV service in a dispute with UKTV. As the increasingly acrimonious dispute enters its third week, the damage from the blackout mounts, with Virgin Media customers looking to defect to rival TV services and UKTV – which has ten pay-TV and free channels – losing about a million smackers a week as channels record a viewing slump of as much as a fifth. Freeview, which offers UKTV's five free channels Dave, Drama, Home, Really and Yesterday, is preparing a TV advert targeting Virgin Media customers which will run as part of its fifteen million knicker campaign to woo more customers to the free TV service. Freeview, which has also been mounting a social media campaign aimed at disgruntled Virgin Media customers, is the main TV provider in more than eleven million homes. However, Freeview is available in nineteen million households because every new TV set sold over the last couple of years has a Freeview tuner built into it. Many Virgin Media pay-TV households probably have access to Freeview without even realising it. Since the UKTV channel blackout began - on 22 July - Freeview's channel checker, which allows prospective customers to see what they can receive at their address, has had its biggest rise in usage this year. This was followed by web traffic to the company's 'How to set up my Freeview TV' trebling. 'This suggests Virgin Media customers were itching to continue to receive those UKTV channels which had fallen off their service,' an alleged - though suspiciously anonymous - spokesman for Freeview allegedly told the Gruniad Morning Star. Sky's sales team have also made a concerted effort to attract unhappy Virgin Media customers on social media, with some staff claiming their best sales days of the year so far. However, Jeremy Darroch, Sky's chief executive, said that overall Sky had 'yet to see a significant increase' in new customer signings. While talks between the two sides continue, UKTV is feeling the pain to the tune of almost a million smackers per week in the loss of advertising revenue and fees from Virgin Media. On the Monday and Tuesday after UKTV's channels were pulled, the prime-time audience to Dave plummeted twenty per cent, Gold twenty two per cent and Eden fell thirty four per cent. ITV used the dispute to pressure Virgin Media in its own negotiations, sending a letter with an ultimatum that it could also pull its channels, which resulted in a deal being struck days later. 'Some observers argue that ITV's opportunistic move to strong-arm a better commercial arrangement from Virgin Media may have cost it funds that may have been used to come to better terms with UKTV,' said some trouble-making shite of no importance at the Gruniad. 'The cut in fees that Virgin is seeking to pay UKTV is now partly going to be viewed as a way to fund its new deal with ITV,' one alleged - although, again, anonymous and, therefore, probably fictitious - senior TV industry executive allegedly said. Virgin Media is seeking to cut the fees it pays for UKTV's channels by about fifty per cent, arguing that it needs more video-on-demand rights to BBC shows on the service. The BBC, which jointly owns UKTV with the pay-TV company Discovery, holds back the video-on-demand rights to shows such as Top Gear and, instead, sells them separately to rivals including Netflix and Amazon. As is their right to commercially exploit the products that they develop and make. Virgin Media, which is not receiving fees from the channels it has temporarily replaced UKTV's portfolio with, has started a process to potentially auction off the slots to rivals permanently.
The use of commercial video streaming services has surged ahead in Great Britain, according to official figures. Close to half of all adults said that they had watched Netflix, Now TV, Amazon Prime Video or a similar Internet-based service over the past three months. That compares to less than a third of respondents in 2016, the last time the figure was given. The data is contained in the Office for National Statistics' annual Internet Access and Use report. The study also indicates that the percentage of households with 'some kind of Internet access' has not changed since last year, remaining at ninety per cent. But it does suggest that usage has increased, with eighty six per cent of over-sixteens reporting that they use the web 'daily or almost every day.' The previous year, the figure was eighty per cent. In addition, for the first time the survey says that one hundred per cent of households with children living in them have Internet access. Sending and receiving e-mails remains the most popular task, with eighty four per cent of adults saying that they had done this over the past quarter. But the activities that saw the biggest gains over the past two years were watching video-on-demand from commercial services - forty six per cent had done so over the last three months, up from twenty nine per cent in 2016; watching videos from YouTube and similar platforms - sixty two per cent, up from forty seven per cent; listening to net-streamed music - fifty eight per cent, up from forty nine per cent. One media industry analyst said that the growing popularity of online TV had meant providers were having to adapt their offerings. #If you look at the breakdown of who is using these services, it's starting to bleed outside the younger tech-savvy audiences and getting traction among older groups as well,' commented Tom Harrington from Enders Analysis. 'You can see that reflected in the types of programming being made available, with Netflix and others commissioning original shows pitched at more mature audiences.' He added, however, that the market was 'set to become more competitive.' Sky is due to make all its content available online; Apple is expected to launch a TV subscription service soon and Disney may expand the content available via its DisneyLife app following the takeover of Twenty First Century FOX.
An Australian TV network has said it was 'wrong' to interview a far-right figure with a criminal past, after the segment set off a widespread backlash. No shit? Blair Cottrell appeared in a studio interview on Sky News Australia on Sunday to speak about immigration. Viewers lost little time in pointing out that Cottrell was last year convicted of inciting contempt of Muslims and that he has previously called for schools to display pictures of Adolf Hitler. Sky News Australia responded on Sunday. 'It was wrong to have Blair Cottrell on Sky News Australia,' said News Director Greg Byrnes. 'His views do not reflect ours. The interview has been removed from repeat timeslots and online platforms.' Cottrell is the former leader of anti-immigration group United Patriots Front. He was interviewed by Adam Giles, a programme host and former chief minister of the Northern Territory. Other presenters at the network were among those to criticise the interview. 'Blair Cottrell is a far right-wing fascist who is a self confessed Hitler fan. He has boasted about using "violence and terror" to manipulate women,' tweeted one host, Laura Jayes. A regular commentator and former Australian government minister, Craig Emerson, said that it was 'another step in a journey to normalising racism and bigotry in our country.' He said that he would not appear on the network again. Cottrell used the interview to call on Australia to reduce immigration, protect itself from 'foreign ideologies' and to 'reclaim our traditional identity.' He said later that Sky News Australia had 'succumbed to pressure' to 'silence' him. Unfortunately, they didn't do it before his poisonous bile was forced on their viewers. Last year, Cottrell was one of three men found extremely guilty by a magistrate of inciting contempt of Muslims, after the men staged a mock beheading to protest against the building of a mosque. He was previously convicted of other offences, including arson and burglary. Last year another Australian broadcaster, Channel Seven, was also criticised for showing a live interview with Cottrell without disclosing his background. Subsequently, it was reported that a number of brands - including American Express, Huggies and Specsavers - had pulled advertising with Sky News Australia over this malarkey. And, the former Labour minister Craig Emerson quit as a commentator for Sky News. 'My father fought Nazis in WWII and was interred in a German POW camp,' he wrote on Twitter. The decision to put Cottrell on Sky News was 'another step in a journey to normalising racism and bigotry in our country,' Emerson added.
Wor geet canny Ant and/or Dec have postponed next year's series of Saturday Night Takeaway, with the show not set to return until 2020. Dec Donnelly will also front November's I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want) alone, whilst convicted dangerous driver Ant McPartlin continues to 'take a break from all TV presenting.' The duo claimed that it was 'a joint decision' to postpone a new series of Takeaway. Ant stepped down from his TV work in March following his arrest. He was very fined eighty six grand and given a twenty-month driving ban after pleading extremely guilty to drink driving and announced he would immediately be taking time out from presenting and seeking treatment for addiction. He pulled out of the last two episodes of Saturday Night Takeaway and didn't present the live shows of Britain's Got Toilets this year. In a statement Ant claimed his recovery is 'going very well' and 'for that to continue, having spoken to Dec and ITV, I have made the decision to take the rest of the year off.' He added: 'I'd like to thank both Dec and ITV for their continued support and I look forward to getting back to work in the new year.' Production and filming for Saturday Night Takeaway next year would normally have already started, so they said that the decision was made because 'neither Ant and/or Dec nor ITV wanted to compromise the quality of the show.' Dec said that he was 'obviously sad' at the thought of being without his 'best friend' in Australia this year for I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want) but that he understood Ant's decision. 'I am proud of the work Ant has been doing privately and I am fully supportive of his decision. I'm looking forward to us both being reunited on screen in 2019.'
The White Hotel has become known as one of the great unadaptable works of modern literature - almost, but never quite, made by film-makers including Bernardo Bertolucci, David Lynch, Pedro Almodóvar and Emir Kusturica. Now DM Thomas's sprawling and controversial novel has been taken on by the BBC – albeit, for the radio rather than the screen. Radio 4 announced what will be a world premiere dramatisation, using a screenplay written nearly thirty years ago by the late Dennis Potter. The adapted version of The White Hotel centres on the sexual fantasies of Lisa and her premonitions of what it emerges are the horrors of The Holocaust and the Babi Yar massacre in 1941 in Nazi-controlled Ukraine. Jeremy Howe, Radio 4's commissioning editor for drama, called it 'a disturbing, upsetting, heart-rending and sometimes shocking tale' of pre-second World War central Europe. 'It is a brilliant screenplay of a novel that shouts out to be made,' he said. It has been directed by the Los Angeles-based Jon Amiel, who directed Potter's acclaimed 1986 television serial The Singing Detective and stars Anne-Marie Duff as Lisa and Bill Paterson as her psychoanalyst, Probst. Amiel recalled reading The White Hotel nearly thirty years ago and said that it still haunted him. The fact the script had been adapted from Potter made it 'an exceptional opportunity,' he said. 'Dennis was a man I really and uniquely loved in terms of my collaborations with writers. People don't talk about loving Dennis Potter that much, he was not considered lovable. I truly loved him when we worked together and I think that deep affection was reflected in the work I did on The Singing Detective. As much as this is an adaptation of a DM Thomas novel, Dennis's voice is so alive in this script and his personality is all through it. It's a rather magical feeling for me to be so close to my old friend again.' Various attempts at a movie using Potter's script have been made with a number of directors and actors – including Barbra Streisand, Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman, Isabella Rossellini, Anthony Hopkins and Ralph Fiennes – attached to various proposed projects which never made it over the line. Writing in the Gruniad Morning Star in 2004, Thomas said: 'There is scarcely a star of either sex in Hollywood or elsewhere who has not appeared in the imagined movie. Boy-actors, once considered to play Lisa's stepson Kolya, are now too old for any part.' Amiel said that the radio adaptation - scheduled for September - clearly was not normal commercial Hollywood fodder. 'It is a difficult story under any circumstances both to read and to listen to and to make it as a movie is exceptionally tricky,' he said. 'I also think a movie is almost always a diminution of a great novel and The White Hotel is a great novel. Movies always turn great novels into small novellas essentially. Average novels, small novels can make great movies. But I do think this makes an extraordinary radio play. In its scale and ambition it is quite unlike any radio play I've heard.'The White Hotel was shortlisted for the 1981 Man Booker prize, losing out to Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children.
Wor geet canny Lauren Laverne is to replace Shaun Keaveny on BBC 6Music's Breakfast Show, it has been announced. The Sunderland-born presenter, formerly singer in the 1990s band Kenickie, will make the move in January 2019, the station said.
A recorded interview with the late Sid James has been recovered after forty two years sitting in a loft. It is the last-known recording of the comedy legend and thought to have been recorded days before he died on stage in Sunderland during a UK theatre tour in 1976. The lost interview was found on an unlabelled reel belonging to former BBC radio presenter Jeff Link. Which, incidentally, is the best name for a radio presenter imaginable and one which would, one is sure, have given Sid an excuse to use his trademark filthy laugh when the pair were introduced. It was found during the making of a radio documentary to celebrate the sixtieth anniversary of the Carry On films. The conversation reveals James's thoughts on his work with Tony Hancock, his many popular appearances in the Carry On series and his quest to maintain a new fitness regime. He looks ahead to a seventh series of the hit ITV sitcom Bless This House - a series which was never made as a result of James's death. He can also be heard joking about the many members of the public who don't realise he isn't a Cockney. 'They are surprised when they hear that I'm a South African.' Reina James, the actor's daughter, said: 'It is a very special interview for me personally, as I saw him when he was doing The Mating Season, not knowing it would be the last time I'd ever see him. To hear him talking just before he's about to die, there's something hugely moving about that.' His other daughter, Sue James, added that it was 'a lovely and sympathetic interview.' Link presented the mid-morning show for BBC Radio Solent in the 1970s and interviewed James in Bournemouth on 22 March 1976, while he was touring in a production of The Mating Season, which was billed at the time as 'an uproarious family comedy.' A few weeks later, on 26 April, James collapsed shortly after the start of the show on its opening night at the Sunderland Empire. Link recalled the entertainer being in good spirits, adding: 'He invited me to see the show, which I did at the Bournemouth Pavilion. He looked so well and he even demonstrated his fitness regime, which was doing skipping without a skipping rope. He seemed in good health so I was so shocked and surprised when I heard the sad news [of his death],' Link added Since 1976, the recording has been in a box in Link's loft, moving from house to house as the presenter changed jobs within the BBC. It was not labelled, but Link recalled making an effort to keep the reel as he was pleased with the interview. 'We normally kept tapes for a week, they had to be recycled because it was reel-to-reel. There was also a shortage of magnetic tape due to an oil crisis. It's one of the few tapes I still have.' BBC documentary producer Richard Latto said it was 'a remarkable discovery. This is a very special recording as you very rarely hear interviews with Sid and it is especially candid with what I call the "local-radio cuddle factor", which brings out a very relaxed conversation.' After recovering the interview and certifying its authenticity, Latto located Sid's two surviving daughters. 'To be able to safely reunite the recording with his family was very pleasing as they were incredibly grateful and it felt like they should hear their father's words before we considered how best to present the interview in our special documentary.' James's biographer Robert Ross said: 'Sid didn't give that many interviews and very few survive. He sounds really good and is even doing his own Carry On laugh. It's such a shame because there are so many shows you saw in the late 1970s and early 1980s where you thought Sid could have done that.' James was known to millions after many successful stints in a multitude of iconic British shows. On the radio - and then, later, on TV - he was the sparring partner of Tony Hancock in more than one hundred episodes of Hancock's Half Hour. When the show transferred to television so did James and Hancock, although Hancock did the last series alone to avoid becoming part of a perceived double-act with James. Unlike Hancock, James was already a star of many cinematic feature films, including The Lavender Hill Mob and The Titfield Thunderbolt. In 1960, the producers of Carry On Constable cast James in the role of Sergeant Frank Wilkins. His association with the series would last more than a decade and he starred in a total of nineteen of the Carry On movies. James also starred in several of his own TV series - Taxi!, George & The Dragon, Two In Clover and Bless This House - while juggling many appearances at theatres across the world. When he died he was sixty two years old. The full interview will be broadcast in Carry On Up The Archive on BBC Local Radio over the Christmas period.
Matthew Perry is reportedly'on the mend' after undergoing emergency surgery. A spokesperson for the actor appealed for privacy on his behalf on Tuesday as Perry 'begins the long road to recovery' from a gastrointestinal perforation, according to People magazine. 'Matthew Perry recently underwent surgery in a Los Angeles hospital to repair a gastrointestinal perforation,' his representative said. 'He is grateful for the concern and asks for continued privacy as he heals.' The gastrointestinal perforation is often symptomised by severe abdominal pain and is more commonly referred to by doctors as 'a ruptured bowel.' It can also originate from the throat, stomach or intestine. Prior to his recent health struggles, Perry had been busy following the surprising cancellation of his CBS series The Odd Couple after three series in the spring of 2017. He recently reprised his The Good Wife role of Mike Kresteva in CBS All Access spin-off The Good Fight, in addition to executive producing and starring in the historical mini-series The Kennedys After Camelot. Matthew also brought his dark comedy play The End Of Longing to the off-Broadway stage in 2017, after premiering it on the West End the year previously.
Food giants KFC and Kellogg's have been told to remove adverts which promoted junk food to children, by the UK's advertising watchdog. The Advertising Standards Authority says that both broke strict rules on advertising high fat, sugar or salt products to children. The ASA found Kellogg's promoted a Coco Pops product during a Mister Bean cartoon, 'likely to have been seen by children.' Although this blogger begs to differ on that score since he doesn't believe children are stupid enough to be watching a Mister Bean cartoon. It also ruled that KFC advertised a Mars product on a phone box near to a school. KFC said that the appearance of the advert close to a school was 'a simple human error' and it had taken the advert down promptly, once it had been alerted. The human who erred has also had his or her naughty bits thrashed with a wet plimsoll until they promised never to do it again. Probably. Kellogg's said that it was 'disappointed with the decision' as it had 'only meant to promote the healthier Coco Pops Granola product,' rather than the original version. The one that, due to a design flaw turns any milk you add to the cereal a shitty brown colour. An undisclosed number of members of the public - so, that'll be one, probably - complained to the ASA, triggering the investigations. Presumably because the undisclosed number of members of the public didn't have anything more important or constructive to do with their time. The ASA was alerted to a poster advert for KFC's Mars Krushems drink which was seen on a phone box outside a school. Because it was displayed close to the entrance to a primary school, children under the age of sixteen made up 'a much higher proportion' of the advert's potential audience. Advertising for children is allowed in general but the ASA says there are 'factors' which must be considered. The ASA considered it was 'highly likely' those younger children comprised significantly more than twenty five per cent of the audience of the advert and that it, therefore, broke the rules. The Coco Pops Granola advert appeared between episodes of the Mister Bean cartoon, during a section of programming specifically directed at children under sixteen. The ASA said that, although Coco Pops Granola was not a high fat, sugar or salt product, because the Coco Pops branding was 'synonymous' with Coco Pops original cereal - with its really fucking annoying jingle - and with the Coco Pops range, it concluded the advert had 'effectively promoted the range.' Two other adverts by McDonald's, which had also been whinged about, were deemed not to have broken rules. Jess Tye from the ASA said, 'obviously advertising has an effect' otherwise companies 'wouldn't be bothering with adverts.' She said: 'We do know that ads play a small part in food preferences for children and it's really important that we act as a regulator to make sure that advertisers are being really responsible in the way that they are promoting these products.' Steven Woodford, chief executive of the Advertising Association which represents the advertising industry, said that the KFC breach had been 'inadvertent.' He said: 'Rules are there to protect children. That's what the industry is trying to do.'
The Los Angeles house featured on the US sitcom The Brady Bunch has been bought by cable TV network HGTV, its parent company has announced. The network, which specialises in home improvement and gardening shows, will 'restore the home to its 1970s glory,' Discovery said. The property's exteriors were featured on every episode of the programme, which ran from 1969 to 1974. Only the exterior of the house in Studio City appeared on the show. Indoor scenes were shot in a studio. Pop star Lance Bass (no, me neither) who also bid for the home, congratulated the TV channel on Tuesday. The former NSYNC member posted on social media on Saturday that he was 'heartbroken' to learn that his bid had been rejected. He had told fans he had bid 'way over' the asking price of $1.88m and had planned to renovate the interior to make it 'resemble the set of the TV programme.' After the buyer was revealed he changed his tune, saying he knew HGTV would 'do the right thing.' Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia Brady on the show, tweeted her congratulations over the weekend. Discovery's acquisition was announced by its chief executive David Zaslav during a quarterly 'profit call' with investors. HGTV representatives later confirmed the sale to the BBC News website. 'I'm excited to share that HGTV is the winning bidder and we'll restore the home to its 1970s glory as only HGTV can,' he said. 'More detail to come over the next few months but we'll bring all the resources to bear to tell safe, fun stories about this beloved piece of American TV history,' he said. The house at 11222 Dilling Street - less than two miles from the CBS studios - went on the market for the first time in forty five years a few weeks ago. An advert said it was 'the second-most photographed home in the United States' after The White House. The home, which has three bedrooms and three bathrooms, was built in 1959.
Archaeologists in Cologne believe they have uncovered the foundations of the oldest known library in Germany, dating back to the Second Century. A team from the city's Roman-Germanic Museum discovered the library remains while excavating the site of a Protestant church. The building likely housed up to twenty thousand scrolls, according to Doctor Dirk Schmitz, a researcher on the expedition. He described the find as 'truly spectacular.' Cologne was founded by the Romans under the name Colonia in 50AD. The former library is thought to have had a size of around twenty metres by nine and was two storeys high. 'At first we thought they were the remains of a space for public gatherings,' Marcus Trier, director of the city's Romano-Germanic Museum said, but the walls had 'unusual, cavernous structures.' After intensive research and comparison with ancient buildings such as The Ephesus in Turkey, the archaeologists were 'confident' they had found the remains of a library. 'It took us some time to match up the parallels - we could see the niches were too small to bear statues inside,' said Doctor Schmitz. 'They are very particular to libraries - you can see the same ones in the library at Ephesus.' The historic ruins have also revealed niches and cases, which likely stored an incredible number of parchment and papyrus rolls. The Western German city on the Rhine River is over two thousand years old - so stumbling upon ancient ruins is not unusual. The foundations are now to be integrated as a significant part into the new protestant church and will be open to the public. Other remains of the newly found library will be left for further archaeological examinations.
Vandals have reportedly attacked the family home of prominent Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg. Which is, obviously, very sad. The incident happened overnight on 1 August at the politician's three-story mansion at West Harptree in Somerset, when the Rees-Mogg family were on holiday in America. Police said that graffiti was 'sprayed on a building and on a car' and damage 'was caused to a garden.' According to a report in the Scum Mail Online, the words 'posh scum' were written on windows of the house. Rees-Mogg's office confirmed that the attack took place but declined to comment further. The MP's Seventeenth Century country home, called Gournay Court, is a Grade Two listed building. He also owns a five million knicker gaff in Westminster. Avon and Somerset Police said that officers 'were investigating a report of criminal damage.'
It is not uncommon to run up some hefty bills whilst on holiday, but one British tourist will be feeling particularly glum this week. The unidentified man reportedly'racked up tens of thousands of pounds in traffic fines in less than four hours' after he rented a luxury supercar in Dubai. He is said to have broken the speed limit 'on one of the city's busiest roads dozens of times in the early hours of Tuesday.' The total cost of the fines came to one hundred and seventy five thousand dirhams which equates to around thirty six grand. The fines were issued after the tourist 'triggered every speed camera on the Sheikh Zayed Road' and reached a top speed of two hundred and forty kilometres per hour, according to state-owned newspaper The National. The owners of the dealership where the man rented the Lamborghini Huracán told the newspaper that the driver had left his passport as a guarantee. They say they haven't yet claimed the car back because they, rather than the tourist, may be liable to pay the fines. 'We can't pay this amount should the car be taken into impound, it is still with the tourist, parked at his hotel and I won't be trying to take it back,' dealership partner Faris Mohammed Iqbal said. 'Then who pays the money for the impound? We shouldn't do so for sure, it's his fault and he should pay that amount,' he added. According to local media, the fines were issued against the car's registered owner because the driver was a tourist. This means he could be free to leave the country, although his lack of a passport will likely make that difficult. 'I was fearing that he may go to his embassy claiming that he lost his passport in order to get a new one then leave the country,' Iqbal told The National.
A police car overturned while officers were chasing a moped believed to have been 'involved in a 'series of offences.' Officers in a marked vehicle reportedly followed the moped rider and pillion passenger for about half-a-mile from Hyde Park Corner in Central London in the early hours of Monday morning. The moped then crashed at high speed - or, at least, as high a speed as a moped can achieve - with a second marked police car travelling in the opposite direction which then overturned. A seventeen-year-old boy was taken to hospital with serious leg injuries. He has since been arrested on suspicion of a number of motoring offences and hauled off down the cop-shop for a jolly good talking to, the Met Police said. Officers said that the second person on the moped 'fled the scene of the crash' in Grosvenor Place and efforts to trace him or her are currently ongoing. No police officers were seriously injured or required medical treatment, the Met added although the car got smashed right up. The crash has been referred to the Independent Office for Police Conduct and the Met's Directorate of Professional Standards has been informed.
From The North's headline of the week award goes to the Gruniad Morning Star for I Masturbate A Dozen Times A Day. Am I Addicted? No. Just happy.
A man who hacked off his victim's ears in an 'horrific' gangland assault has been extremely jailed, along with an accomplice. Kisa Kasambara carried out the attack on Karl Warrilow over a two thousand notes debt after Michael Huxley had lured Warrilow into a car in Liverpool. Kasambara and Huxley were very jailed for fifteen and twelve years respectively for kidnap and wounding with intent. Nicholas Thompson, the man behind the attack, called Warrilow afterwards asking: 'How's life with no ears?' Kasambara's and Huxley's trial at Liverpool Crown Court heard how Warrilow had been asked to collect two grand by Thompson, who was then serving a prison sentence. Warrilow was kidnapped in West Derby in March 2017 after spending the money instead of passing it on. The court heard that a dog chain was placed around his neck before he was driven to a disused railway siding where the attack took place. Thompson and another man, Kenneth Dean, were jailed in March for eighteen years and fifteen years respectively at Liverpool Crown Court after being found guilty of kidnap and wounding with intent. Judge Neil Flewitt QC said that Huxley had 'played a subordinate role' and 'showed remorse' after the attack, but had tricked Warrilow into his car and 'served him up on a plate for the others.' The judge described Kasambara as 'a dangerous offender' and said that he 'would continue to pose a risk to the public.' Detective Chief Inspector John Webster said: 'This was a brutal and planned attack. The injuries sustained were horrific, including severed ears, and as a result he will face permanent facial disfigurement in addition to the devastating psychological impact this will have undoubtedly caused.'
German holocaust denier Ursula Haverbeck has been very sentenced to two-and-a-half years in The Big House after the country's highest court ruled that denying the mass murder of Jews during the Nazi era is not covered by the right to free speech and 'threatens public peace.' Haverbeck, who is popularly known as 'The Nazi-Grandma', was convicted last May for publishing a series of articles in which she insisted that the Holocaust and murder of Jews at Auschwitz concentration camp in German occupied Poland are 'not historically proven.' Which, you know, it is. In Germany, denying the Holocaust constitutes a crime of 'incitement to hatred' and carries a prison sentence of up to five years. The eighty nine-year old went to Germany's constitutional court to appeal her sentence, claiming that her statements fall under the country's right to free speech, which is protected by law. But in their ruling, the judges found that the right to free speech does not protect the denial of the Holocaust. 'The dissemination of untrue and deliberately false statements of fact can not contribute to the development of public opinion and thus do not fall in the remits of protection for free speech,' the judges wrote in a statement. 'The denial of the Nazi genocide goes beyond the limits of the peacefulness of public debate and threatens public peace,' they added. Haverbeck has a long history of support for the former Nazi regime and co-founded a now-banned right wing 'education centre' called Collegium Humanum with her late husband Werner Georg Haverbeck, a former Nazi party member and very naughty man. Her articles denying the Holocaust were published in right-wing magazine Stimme Des Reiches. Haverbeck has previously received several convictions from a range of German courts for her claims that the systematic mass murder of millions of Jews - and other persecuted groups - during Germany's Nazi regime did not take place. On one occasion she was convicted for calling the Holocaust 'the biggest and longest-lasting lie in history.'
A woman arrested after speeding through a stop sign asked police to let her off because she is 'a clean, thoroughbred white girl,' officers say. The arresting officer detailed in his official report how Lauren Cutshaw appealed to him for 'special treatment' based on her race. When asked why, Cutshaw replied: 'You're a cop; you should know what that means,' the report states. She was extremely arrested on Saturday night and also charged with drug possession. Cutshaw was pulled over after she drove through a stop sign at sixty miles per hour in Bluffton, South Carolina. As officers began investigating, she argued that she should not be arrested. Cutshaw told officers she had 'perfect grades' her whole life, was a cheerleader and sorority girl, had graduated from a 'high accredited university' and that her partner was a police officer, according to a law enforcement report viewed by local news site The Island Packet. The officer's report stated: 'Making statements such as these as a means to justify not being arrested are unusual in my experience as a law enforcement officer and I believe further demonstrate the suspect's level of intoxication.' When she was pulled over, Cutshaw's blood alcohol level registered at 0.18 per cent - above the legal limit - and she also failed sobriety tests. Her eyes were reported to be 'bloodshot and glassy' and she was 'slurring her words,' police say. She reportedly told officers that she only drank two glasses of wine 'at an upmarket restaurant,' saying: 'I mean, I was celebrating my birthday.' Police also found marijuana and 'related paraphernalia' in her car. According to the report, Cutshaw claimed that she 'may have' smoked some dynamite ganja earlier that evening. She was very charged at the Beaufort County Detention Centre with drink-driving, speeding and marijuana possession.
Devon Firefighters dealt with a fire at the John May butcher's shop in South Molton. Two crews from Barnstaple and crew from South Molton managed to contain the blaze to a storeroom at the rear of the property. It was understood that staff had been frying pork scratchings and that the hot oil had ignited causing all manner of kerfufflement and discombobulation in the process. Barnstaple station manager Dean Hastie said that firefighters had used a hose reel jet to stop the fire from spreading to the ceiling. He added that one woman was being treated for smoke inhalation. Crews remained at the scene for some time after the fire was extinguished 'checking for hot spots' using a thermal imaging camera.
An Indian sailor who was stranded aboard a ship moored at Great Yarmouth for eighteen months is preparing to return home after a legal stalemate was broken. Nikesh Rastogi is the captain of the offshore supply vessel Malaviya Twenty, whose owners fell into liquidation, leading to a complex series of legal disputes around unpaid crew wages and port dues. Nikesh said that he and his three crew mates had received no wages since last year and had feared they would not get paid if they left the ship as it would be 'considered a derelict which means anybody can take it over.' Lawyers acting for the crew made representations to the Admiralty Marshal at the High Court in July and the ship has now been arrested, meaning the court can arrange its sale and use the money raised to pay those owed, including the crew. Captain Rastogi, from Mumbai, said that he hopes to take a flight home with his crew 'within weeks.''It is like a weight being lifted because there was a point of no hope,' he said. 'There was a period where things were really bad mentally.' Paul Haworth, a director at the law firm Birketts which represented the crew, said that a surveyor instructed by the court will value the ship and the sale process should conclude in September. Paul Keenan, inspector with the International Transport Workers' Federation, said the ship could sell for seven to eight hundred grand. Haworth said this should be enough to pay those involved in the wrangle, including the Admiralty Marshal's costs, port dues, the crew's unpaid wages and lawyers. He said that a court order would be needed to sell the ship for less than its valuation price. The Malaviya Twenty has been stuck in Great Yarmouth since June 2016. Rastogi said that he was contracted by an agency in February 2017 as part of a thirteen-strong replacement crew, after the ship's owners fell into liquidation. All of his original crew returned to India last year and three new crew members joined him in September 2017 on six-month contracts. Rastogi said his employers withdrew in January 2018 after new contracts failed to materialise and that he and his crewmates have not been paid since last year. He said the situation had been 'difficult' but that he 'felt responsible' for his crew, adding 'you can't sit and mope over it, you just slide into the role.' The crew spent much of their time doing routine maintenance and performing drills and kept in touch with family at home on WhatsApp. Rastogi said they looked out for 'markers for depression' and he read books to keep busy. 'Your mind needs to be like a shark in that sense because if you stop then you sink and you start thinking about the situation and then there's no hope,' he said. He said he would continue to work at sea despite the ordeal, adding 'lightning doesn't strike twice.' Asked about his plans when he returned home, he said: I think I'm going to have lots of Indian food. I'm going to start with curries from breakfast to dinner.'
Taylor Hamlin reportedly'dreamed' of winning The Maine Lobster Festival's prestigious Maine Sea Goddess pageant since she was a little girl, but two social media photos deemed 'inappropriate' by competition officials would cause the eighteen year old to be stripped of the title just twenty four hours after she was crowned. Hamlin told People magazine that one snapshot showed the teenager with a marijuana cigarette whilst another depicted her holding a juuling device (an e-cigarette). Both surfaced the day after Hamlin's coronation ceremony. The executive board of directors and the coronation committee of the Maine Lobster Festival then made the announcement that Hamlin would no longer represent the seventy-year-old celebration, saying the images 'were not in keeping with the behaviour and image of the Maine Sea Goddess.''I was really upset,' Hamlin told the magazine. 'It's been tough. I never thought that this would happen. They told me it was disgusting and they're disappointed. The whole thing made me feel really terrible about myself.' Hamlin says that the photo of her with the vape pen was taken after she was eighteen, making her of legal age. However, the picture of her with marijuana - recreational and medical use of which is legal in Maine for people over eighteen - was taken last year when she was underage. At the time, she posted it to a private Instagram account. 'I had deleted it a while ago so someone must have had it and saved it,' claimed Hamlin, who said she 'isn't certain' how the photographs came to the attention of the festival. Although it hardly takes a genius to work out that she was either snitched up by some filthy stinkin' Coopers Nark or that the festival decided to check out her online history for themselves and did a bit more digging than she was expecting. Though one does wonder why they didn't think about doing that before they awarded her the title in the first place. 'It's only my exclusive friends on this private account, so it had to be one of my friends or their parents [who shared it]. It's frustrating. I don't know who it is and at this point and I don't care.' In a statement released on Friday, organisers claimed that Taylor 'decided to resign her position,' adding that Crown Princess, Erin Dugan, will assume the Sea Goddess duties. 'We wish all the best to Taylor Hamlin in her future endeavours,' the statement read. 'This is a terrible situation for everyone involved. We hope that everyone will enjoy the rest of the festival that over thirteen hundred volunteers have worked so hard to put on to support our local community and the lobster industry.' But Hamlin claims she was forced out. 'They're telling everyone that it's a mutual agreement and that I resigned and that's not true,' she said. 'They didn't give me an option. They told me, "Several of our community members have complained about you." I told them, "What other choice do I have?" And the lady shrugged her shoulders and didn't say anything.' Hamlin says that her parents were 'supportive' and have been 'livid' at the festival, but even they couldn't get officials to change their mind. 'My parents asked them, "What are we supposed to do with our daughter now? She's devastated." [The coordinator] just said, "I'm not your counsellor."'
A woman who sold her son to paedophiles on The Dark Net has been jailed for twelve years and six months by a court in Southern Germany. The Freiburg court also jailed her partner, the boy's stepfather, for twelve years. The boy was nine when the trial began in June. The German nationals had sexually abused the boy themselves for at least two years. The Dark Net is an Internet area beyond the reach of mainstream search engines peopled by terrorists, naughty men and women and shits. Apparently. On Monday, the court also jailed a Spanish man for ten years for sexually abusing the boy repeatedly. Five other men have been prosecuted in connection with the abuse related to the case. The couple were found extremely guilty of rape, aggravated sexual assault of children, forced prostitution and distribution of child pornography. The boy is now living with foster parents. The couple must pay forty two thousand Euros in damages to the boy and to a three-year-old girl, who was also abused by them. What happened to the boy, who is now aged ten, shocked even experienced investigators. Prosecutors say that the boy was subjected to more than sixty serious sex attacks, many of which were filmed. The case has horrified Germany, not least because the authorities - who knew that the mother's partner was a previously convicted paedophile - missed opportunities to rescue the boy. On Tuesday the judge told the boy's mother that she had carried out one of the most brutal sexual attacks.The trial has also raised concerns that officials might sometimes wrongly presume that a woman is incapable of abusing her own child. German media report that child welfare authorities in Baden-Württemberg state have been heavily criticised for failing to stop the couple's abuse. The boy had been removed from the couple temporarily by social workers, but was then handed back to them. Spiegel news website reports that welfare officers had not exchanged information about the case that could have led them to the couple's sick and wretched crimes. According to case psychiatrist Hartmut Pleines, quoted by Spiegel, the mother's claim that she was 'in thrall' to her partner when she committed the abuse was entirely false. She did not explain her actions, but her partner did speak a lot in court during the two-month trial, Spiegel reported.
Two men disagreed about politics on Facebook. Nothing so unusual in that, you might think, it goes on all the time - though, not on yer actual Keith Telly Topping's Facebook page as this blogger with brook no crapulence of that sort on his own little Fortress of Solitude. That's what Facebook's excellent 'block' facility is for, after all. Anyway, in this particular instance, when things got heated, one of them men showed up with a Glock and an AR-15 and shot the other in the thigh and the buttocks, police said. A somewhat extreme example of 'unfriending' one could suggested. It happened on Monday night in Tampa, leading to the arrest of Brian Sebring on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and carrying a concealed firearm. Only in America, dear blog reader. Alex Stephens was the victim, police said, though he may have had a role in ratcheting up the rhetoric. Sebring claimed to officers that Stephens had threatened him. 'After receiving several explicit messages and threats, the defendant responded to the victim's home to confront him reference the messages,' a police account said. When Sebring arrived - wearing the Glock in a holster on his waistband - he honked his horn and waited by his truck for Stephens to appear. Stephens came out of the home and charged toward Sebring, police said and that's when Sebring fired two shots with the Glock. 'The victim ran away and the defendant fled the scene,' police said. The nature of the political dispute on Facebook was not described in detail.
A South Yorkshire woman has been jailed for over two years for engaging in sexual activity with a teenage boy she also supplied a 'disinhibiting' drug to. Jamie Garrett, was extremely jailed for twenty nine months months after she admitted to one count of sexual activity with a child under the age of sixteen and to another count of supplying a controlled Class C drug. During the hearing, Sheffield Crown Court was told how Garrett carried out both offences against a fourteen-year-old boy on 29 August 2016, when she was twenty two-years-old. Prior to the sexual activity taking place, Garrett gave the boy a tablet of the anti-anxiety medication, Xanax, said Ian Goldsack, prosecuting. Xanax, which is also called Alprazolam, is a controlled drug of Class C when supplied to another, despite it being legally available via prescription. Commenting on her supplying her victim with Xanax, the Recorder of Sheffield, Judge Jeremy Richardson QC, said: 'I take into account there was the use of drugs to disinhibit the boy.' He added: 'You engaged in a variety of sexual acts with the boy.' Through a victim personal statement read out in court, the boy's mother described how he was 'acutely embarrassed' by what had happened. Goldsack said that Garrett told police on the night of her naughty offending, she had taken five or six Xanax herself, had drunk a variety of alcoholic drinks and also smoked some cannabis. Garrett also told officers that she had been prescribed Xanax for her anxiety by her doctor. Defending, Katherine Goddard, told the court that Garrett had suffered from learning difficulties and described the psychological abuse she suffered as a child as a 'pervasive' influence on her life. 'My Lord has described hers as a "baleful" life and that's probably right because there hasn't been one bright spot in the defendant's life so far, save for her relationship with her grandfather. And, that came at a price when she became a carer,' claimed Goddard, adding that Garrett's grandfather had now died, leaving Garrett 'completely isolated'. In addition to jailing Garrett, Judge Richardson also placed her on the sex offenders' register for a period of ten years.
A row over leftover Chinese food led a Sarasota woman to throw a knife at a man she accused of eating it, deputies said. If it had been someone scoffing yer actual Keith Telly Topping's king prawn curry chow mein, he would have shoved the knife straight up the recidivist's Gary Glitter and twisted it, personally. Hard. But, hey, that's just this blogger, others may look upon such a sick and sordid crime differently. According to WWSB ABC7 in Sarasota, Michele Sedlak argued with the unnamed man on 27 July inside a North Port home over who ate her leftover Chinese food which had been stored in the refrigerator. Hopefully, in a suitably robust Tupperware container to avoid any potential drippage. Deputies say that the man told Sedlak - in a loud voice - that he never touched her food. Sedlak,seemingly, did not believe his denials and went totally bat-shit in response. Officers say that she then ran to the kitchen to grab a knife, which she threw at the still-protesting man. The knife, fortunately, didn't hit him but, according to deputies, she told the man 'If I wanted to hit you, I would have.' Sedlak was later very arrested and charged by the North Port Police Department with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, according to court records.
Harassing a bison isn't just disrespectful to wildlife, it's also extremely dangerous. A man whom authorities say is the person seen in a viral video 'taunting' a bison in Yellowstone National Park has been extremely arrested. The video, posted on Facebook by a bystander, Lindsey Jones on Wednesday, shows a man standing in the middle of a road, waving his arms and running back and forth in an apparent attempt to get the attention of a bison mere feet away. The animal at first appeared disinterested but, eventually, the man got its attention and it, briefly, chased him before walking away. Park rangers say that they identified the man in the video as Raymond Reinke. He was arrested Thursday at a Montana hotel, according to a statement from the National Park Service. The arrest was the culmination of a series of incidents involving Reinke at national parks. He had been arrested days earlier, on 28 July, in Wyoming's Grand Teton National Park over alleged drunk and disorderly conduct. He was then released on bond and headed to nearby Yellowstone National Park. The bond conditions required him to 'follow the law and avoid alcohol,' according to The Associated Press. On Tuesday, Yellowstone rangers cited Reinke for not wearing a seatbelt, noting that he seemed 'intoxicated and argumentative.' They believe the run-in with the bison happened shortly after that stop. Even before the video of Reinke and the bison surfaced, the incident prompted multiple complaints about the man harassing the wild animal, according to the Park Service. Those complaints resulted in a citation for Reinke, mandating that he appear in court. After the video went viral and rangers learned about Reinke's previous bond conditions, an assistant US attorney requested that the bond be revoked. The request was granted, meaning that rangers had a warrant for Reinke's arrest, the Park Service said. On Thursday, rangers from Glacier National Park - several hours Northwest of Yellowstone - arrested him at a local hotel after a report that he and another guest were 'creating a disturbance in the dining room.'
Marion County sheriff's deputies arrested'a wine-bottle-toting woman' on Tuesday afternoon after a juvenile reported being chased and hit from behind at an Ocala apartment complex. When deputies arrived, they encountered twenty eight-year-old Jessica Lee Hunter, 'who seemed to be very intoxicated,' an officer's report states. Hunter told deputies that a group of women 'she does not really know' jumped her in front of the apartment complex's office. She said that she was 'acting in self-defence' a story which was corroborated by her sister. But, the juvenile and another witness told deputies a completely different story. The juvenile stated that Hunter was apparently upset because 'someone' had called the Florida Department of Children and Families to report her. The juvenile told deputies that Hunter chased her around the apartment complex with a wine bottle in her hand 'whilst cursing and screaming.' She said that Hunter caught up with her in front of one of the apartments and hit her from behind in the right side of her jaw. The juvenile claimed that Hunter then grabbed her by both arms and tried to throw her to the ground. At that point, the juvenile said, she hit Hunter in the mouth, adding that Hunter then hit her several times in her face and head before other people broke up the escalating brawl. The juvenile also claimed that the incident was unprovoked. A witness at the scene 'with no personal interest in either party' confirmed the juvenile's story, reiterating that Hunter attacked her from behind and 'threw the first punch.' Deputies noted that injuries observed on the juvenile's chest, face and arms also appeared to corroborate her story. Hunter, who had a bloody lip when she was arrested and was medically cleared, was taken into custody and transported to the Marion County Jail. She was charged with battery (second or subsequent offence).
A 'suspected sex offender'reportedly hid 'items including McDonald's cherry pies' under a women's car tires 'for sexual kicks.' Kurt M Fulton allegedly placed the desserts 'and other items'– including VHS cassettes and laptops – beneath female drivers' cars so that they could not see them, it has been claimed. Then, when they reversed over the objects and got out of their cars to investigate, he would use a set of binoculars to watch them bend over to check what had happened, Mlivereported. Fulton, who has past convictions for stalking women in parking lots and has, according to the website, 'a history of ogling,' was named as a suspect in the crime by Saginaw County Sheriff Bill Federspiel on Thursday. The Michigan sheriff said: 'It's disturbing because of the nature of this. It's very creepy, unacceptable behaviour. That's the best way to describe it. It's just creepy.' Sheriff Federspiel added: 'Basically, what we have are victims who called us to report that they felt they were being stalked, creeped out This individual was placing items underneath the tires of women's vehicles, stalking them in parking lots, watching them, picking out victims.'
An Oklahoma mother and her daughter were witnesses to a miniature pony allegedly being 'sexually violated' by a naked man. Yeah, that sort of thing it said to be pretty typical for Oklahoma where the cowshit doth lie thick. Authorities allege that Tyler Schlosser was forty minutes from his Pryor, Oklahoma, on Wednesday - and on the clock for a local utility company - when he pulled his company truck over in the town of Inola. There, in the horse pen off the road, the parent and her child started videotaping the utility worker allegedly 'standing behind the pony, full nude' and engaging in 'what looked like he was having sex with the animal,' according to a Rogers County Sheriff's Office affidavit obtained by Newsweek. When they began to record him with cell phones, Schlosser, the affidavit states, 'stopped what he was doing and started walking towards them.' When deputies subsequently arrived the daughter supplied them with the recording. The married utility worker was taken into custody and charged with bestiality and indecent exposure. Schlosser's step-grandfather, James Hester, told Newsweek that the young man has 'no memory' of what occurred and he suspects that he was drugged. 'Well, the only thing we can figure out is someone had drugged him,' Hester said. Before allegedly being caught in with the pony, Hester said that Schlosser bought a soda and 'became ill' after a few sips. 'I think somebody put something in a bottle of pop he had,' he claimed. 'He got sick after he bought that pop and he just lost it.' Rogers County Sheriff Scott Walton confirmed that Schlosser 'exhibited strange behaviour' - as if buggering a horse isn't strange enough as it is - which suggested he was heavily inebriated. 'By all appearances, this guy was really under the influence of something,' Walton said. 'When he saw the mother and her daughter he walked toward them and calling on them and then he ran away from them. What he was experiencing in his mind I don't know.' Walton said that he is 'not ruling out the possibility' that Schlosser's soda could have been spiked. 'If there was something put into a beverage for whatever reason, we're certainly going to listen,' Walton told Newsweek. Lab tests are currently being run to determine if drugs or other substances were in Schlosser's system. The sheriff added, 'We're working with [Schlosser's] defence attorney on a blood drawing to figure it out.' His step-grandfather said that Schlosser is back at his home recovering. 'I spoke to him and he don't know anything about what happened,' Hester claimed. 'He's feeling better now. He come around.' Hester stressed that Schlosser is 'a hardworking husband' who is faithful to his wife and his religion. Wednesday's episode was 'just some unexplainable aberration' in his character. 'Tyler's not that kind of guy,' Hester claimed. 'He's a good Christian boy. He's not the kind of person who would do something like that.'
An 'evil' Russian woman (at least, according to the Sun) has been very sent to The Big House after undercover police discovered an attempt to sell her friend's underage daughter's virginity to the highest bidder. Alina Kukanova was found extremely guilty and jailed for three-and-a-half years for trying to sell the thirteen year-old girl to a wealthy Emirati for the night. Kukanova was reportedly 'inspired' to auction off the young girl by Irina Gladkikh, the girl's mother. Gladkikh, from the city of Chelyabinsk in Western Russia's Sverdlovsk Oblast region, allegedly 'encouraged' her friend to search for buyers online. A 'major deal' was almost reached with a man from the United Arab Emirates who offered eighteen grand for a night with the teen. The deal ultimately fell through, but Kukanova told her friend that she had found another buyer in Moscow. However, this buyer was actually an undercover officer.
A woman who bit and spat at British Transport Police officers in a 'revolting' assault at York Station has been extremely jailed for four months. Natalie Petrie, from Middlesbrough, pleaded very guilty to being drunk and disorderly and four counts of assaulting a police officer at York Magistrates' Court. Officers were called to meet a train travelling from Liverpool to Newcastle on 24 March after 'concerns were raised for the welfare of a passenger,' who was said to be 'heavily intoxicated.' When the officers got on the train and began speaking to the women, she 'became very abusive.' They helped her off the train and she then 'became aggressive, shouting and swearing at police.' Officers arrested Petrie for being drunk and disorderly and as they tried to get her in the police van, she lashed out. She kicked and spat at them and bit two officers on the arms and legs. Investigating officer PC Nick Storey said: 'Petrie's behaviour was violent, unpleasant and aggressive towards officers who were initially trying to help her. Luckily the officers only received minor cuts and scrapes despite being kicked, hit and bitten by her. She also spat in the face of two officers; this is a really disgusting form of assault which is not only revolting but also known to spread infection. Petrie initially failed to appear at court for sentencing but handed herself in a week later.'
A Chinese man who drove his Land Rover SUV into a river in order to save twenty Yuan on a car wash, recently learned the hard way that sometimes being cheap can cost you a lot more than you were trying to save. According to a report from the Fire Services Department in Dujiangyan, China's Sichuan Province, last week, a local man had to be rescued from a nearby river after driving his SUV into the water to wash it and getting stranded on a small islet. The man told rescuers that he simply wanted to wash his car so he wouldn't have to go to the car wash and pay the fee, but he didn't expect the flood gates of an upstream dam to be opened causing the water level to rise almost instantly. Before the driver could get back into his car and drive away, the waters of the swollen river reached the SUV's engine and threatened to wash him away. Fortunately, he was able to reach a nearby islet, but he became stranded with nothing else to do but sit and hope that the strong currents didn't wash away his car. Eventually, bystanders called the Fire Services and a team managed to rescue both the driver and his vehicle. A video of the ordeal was later posted on social media, where it quickly went viral. 'The car is absolutely clean now,' one person jokingly commented on Weibo.
A KFC in Dover, Delaware, had been closed for more than an hour on Sunday when a Florida man showed no regard for its hours of operation. Police told WDEL that Antonio Stevens, of Orlando, had tried to force a KFC employee to reopen the restaurant at gunpoint. The employee, a thirty eight-year old woman, was outside the restaurant around 11:15pm. She was waiting for a ride when the suspect approached and demanded entry. Well, you know what it's like when you've got right a hankering for some tasty popcorn chicken or you're quite partial to a portion spicy buffalo wings? When the woman told Stevens that she couldn't reopen the store - because it was, you know, closed - he moved on to demanding her personal belongings. He pointed what appeared to be a handgun at her. After a struggle, the suspect left the scene, hurriedly, on foot with nothing to show for his efforts. Officers arrived and soon manage to track the dodgy rascal down. They took him into custody after what was described as 'another brief struggle.' Stevens faces charges for first-degree robbery, wearing a disguise during the commission of a felony and resisting arrest.
A woman who claims that she is 'in love with [a] ghost' has revealed they have discussed having children together. Mind you, this is according to the Metro so it's probably a load of old crap. Amethyst Realm - who is definitely not mental nor nothing - 'became a household name in Australia last year,' the paper reports, when she claimed she had slept with fifteen ghosts since breaking up with her fiancé twelve years ago. She claims that she has 'gone off men completely' and prefers the company of ghosts as she can communicate, feel and have sex with them. Now she has revealed that she and her new, if you will, ghostfriend are thinking about having 'ghost babies.' Well, it wouldn't be the worlds first phantom pregnancy. Nah, lissun ... She told New Idea (no, me neither): 'One day, while I was walking through the bush, enjoying nature, I suddenly felt this incredible energy. I knew a new lover had arrived. It's pretty serious. In fact, we've even been thinking about having a ghost baby.' Ralm - who, just to repeat is definitely not mental - added: 'I know that sounds crazy.' Yeah, pretty much. 'I've been looking into it and I don't think it's totally out of the question.' She also has said that her sexual encounters with ghosts 'always end in an orgasm' for her. Although, she didn't reveal what the ghost got out of it. The twenty nine-year-old appeared on This Morning last December and 'shocked and stunned' the presenters with her candidness about having The Sex to ghosts. Although, it's not difficult to shock and stun Phillip Schofield and Holly Whatsherface as they have the the mental age of a sodding hamster at the best of times.
A man has been charged with walking a pig along a busy city street in Norwich without a lead. Which is 'a thing', apparently. Norfolk Police - who, obviously didn't have any real crimes to investigate that day - were reportedly called to Prince of Wales Road on Wednesday and found the untethered pig 'running around' with a dog, which promptly bit one of the officers. Really hard. The man was very arrested and later charged with highways and public order offences and 'having a dangerously out-of-control dog.' Whether the pig was dangerous and out of control we just don't know. The pig was taken away by the RSPCA. It was later spotted in a local supermarket in a packet of bacon. Probably. Officers were called to reports - from, no doubt, 'concerned' members of the public - of a man 'being abusive to members of the public.' He was charged under Section One Hundred and Fifty Five of the Highways Act 1980 with 'having a pig untethered and loose on a public highway,' a police spokeswoman confirmed. An officer who took a photograph of the pig said he was 'lost for words.' As, presumably, was the pig.
A 'dangerous fantasist' who posed as a nurse at the Blenheim Palace Horse Trials has been jailed for four years. Cassandra Grant, of Bristol, was involved in injecting an injured rider at the Oxfordshire event on 13 September last year. Oxford Crown Court heard how she repeatedly lied about having medical and mental health qualifications. Judge Peter Ross said that it made his 'blood run cold' to think of Grant 'getting her hands on a patient.' She pleaded guilty to fraud and common assault. The court heard that Grant had previous fraud convictions for impersonating a doctor in order to prescribe herself treatments. She also started a Facebook group claiming she was terminally ill and needed donations towards hospice care, the court was told. Michael Roques, prosecuting, said that Grant put herself forward as an A&E nurse at an information day ahead of the Blenheim event and her qualifications were never checked. He said that on the day of the trials she was involved in 'a number of different medical situations,' including a person having a heart attack. On that occasion she caused concern among the genuine medical staff by shouting 'cardiac arrest' loudly and had to be told to stop, Roques said. She also was present when morphine and anti-sickness medication were injected into an injured rider who had fallen off her horse, though someone else actually administered the drugs. Anne-Marie Critchley, defending, claimed that Grant had been diagnosed with factitious disorder - a condition in which a person falsely claims to have a physical or mental illness. Judge Ross said that although no one was harmed, Grant was a 'dangerous fantasist' who had put members of the public at risk. 'A life-saving opportunity might well have been missed on the assumption by your colleagues that you were qualified to deal with it,' he said. The judge added that it was 'a matter of some surprise that the most basic of checks, such as were you on the nursing register, were not made.' A spokesperson from Blenheim Horse Trials said that as soon as organisers were made aware Grant was not a medical professional they told the police.
An acclaimed Chinese novelist who murdered four people and used the killings as inspiration for his stories was sentenced to death this week, twenty three years after committing the killings. Liu Yongbiao and his accomplice, Wang Mouming, robbed and killed a family of three and a lodger in a guest house over two decades ago. Between the murders and present day, Liu rose to prominence as an award-winning author. On Monday, the Huzhou Intermediate People's Court, in the Zhejiang Province, found Liu and Wang extremely guilty of robbery and homicide after they admitted to the grizzly crimes. They were both sentenced to death. In an interview with CCTV last August, Liu revealed that although the killings had inspired his novels, he never based any of the characters on the real people he had murdered. The author also said that the memory of the murders haunted him and felt 'worse than dying.' In November 1995, Liu and Wang tied up a couple in the guesthouse they owned their grandson and a lodger, before murdering the quartet with clubs and hammers. Unfortunately for authorities at the time, the guesthouse did not have surveillance cameras and did not keep information about their guests. As a result, the case went unsolved for twenty two years. Last June, police discovered Liu's DNA on a cigarette butt found at the scene after they reopened the case in light of new genetic testing technology. Authorities then visited fifteen Chinese provinces in a bid to locate the suspect linked to the DNA. After comparing the sample with over sixty thousand people, they found a match to a clan, surnamed Liu, who were in Anhui Province. There, they spoke to the clan and were able to narrow down the suspect to Liu Yongbiao. A few months later, undercover police tricked Liu into believing they were researching into his family tree so he would hand over a sample of his saliva. Two days later, on 11 August, police arrested Liu at his home in Nanling after they found a match between his DNA and that on the cigarette butt. Shortly afterwards, Wang was also arrested at his home in Shanghai. Speaking to CCTV, Liu admitted that they killed the lodger because he 'appeared to be wealthy.' However, they only managed to loot a watch, a ring and the equivalent of a dollar from him. Liu also said that the murders were 'so cruel' he deserved to 'die one hundred times' for committing them.
A bungling burglar who targeted the home of his ex girlfriend's mother in 'a revenge attack' was very caught after his DNA was found on a block of cheese. Jilted Jamie Simmonds left a trail of cheese crumbs when he stole a block of Red Leicester from the Cardiff home. The city's crown court heard that victim Lynn Patterson awoke to find broken glass and cheese on the floor. Simmonds, from Cardiff, admitted burglary and was sentenced to sixteen months in Pokey. Prosecutor Rachel Knight described the raid as a 'revenge attack' because Simmonds was 'not getting the attention he wanted' from his former girlfriend, Molly Patterson. 'There is an element of targeting, of planning and he was in dispute with the family at the time,' she claimed. In a victim statement, Molly Patterson said: 'I feel guilty because I think he did this to get back at me. I feel like it's my fault. I'm sorry this has happened to my mother.' Peter Wormald, defending, described the offence as 'crude and unsophisticated.' Sentencing, Judge Eleri Rees handed Simmonds a restraining order preventing him from contacting the victim's family. Addressing the defendant, she said: 'You have an awful record and you have become a petty thief.'
A Florida woman was reportedly arrested for running naked through a public park because she thought 'a giant spider' was on her person. WFTS reported that police in Saint Petersburg (Florida, not Russia, where it's somewhat colder) said Danielle Teeples was 'acting erratically and rubbing her hair and breasts while screaming and running between two trees.' The area was busy at the time, with numerous people in the park and heavy traffic on a neighbouring street. Police said that Teeples admitted to 'recently using drugs' such as crack cocaine, spice and crystal meth and she believed a giant spider was on her and she had to get away from it, according to WFTS. Teeple was charged with exposure of her sexual organs.
Ohio police arrested two women after one admitted to trying to sell sugar as cocaine and the other had real cocaine in her purse. An officer pulled over a silver Ford ZX2 on State Route Fifty Seven after the driver did not come to a complete stop at an intersection. The driver, Roxanne Streets, apologised for the traffic stop, according to police. She told the officer that she was going to a friend's house, but they weren't answering their phone. The officer said that Streets 'appeared to be very nervous' and was 'visibly shaking.' Streets was asked to step out of the car. While patting her down, the officer said he felt a small, round, squeezable item inside her shorts pocket. When asked what it was, she said, 'It's not cocaine, it's actually just sugar in a baggie,' according to the police report. When the officer removed the plastic baggie with white powder, the police report said that Streets was asked again what was inside the baggie. She said, 'It's just sugar. We were going to sell it to a crackhead as if it was crack.' The passenger in the car, Elizabeth Hamilton, was also asked to step out of the car. According to police, Hamilton said, 'I'm going to be honest with you, I have two pipes inside of my purse.' While looking through her purse, the officer also found a plastic baggie with 0.1 grammes of white rocks that, subsequently, tested positive for cocaine. Police said when the officer asked Streets if she had anything illegal in the car, she said, 'No. Go ahead and search it.' Streets was arrested for counterfeit controlled substance and Hamilton was arrested for possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia.
NASA is set to launch one of the most ambitious missions in its history. It is sending a satellite called The Parker Solar Probe into the Sun's outer atmosphere, the corona. Scheduled for launch on Saturday, the spacecraft promises to crack some longstanding mysteries about our star's behaviour.
A planet over twelve times more massive than Jupiter has been found'drifting alone' through space around twenty light years away from Earth. The 'rogue' object is not attached to any star and is the first of its kind to be discovered using a radio telescope from Earth. Both its mass and the enormous strength of its magnetic field challenge what scientists know about the variety of astronomical objects found in the depths of space. 'This object is right at the boundary between a planet and a brown dwarf, or "failed star" and is giving us some surprises that can potentially help us understand magnetic processes on both stars and planets,' said Doctor Melodie Kao, an astronomer at Arizona State University. Brown dwarves are difficult objects to categorise - they are both too huge to be considered planets and not big enough to be considered stars. Originally detected in 2016 using the Very Large Array telescope in New Mexico, the newly identified planet was initially considered a brown dwarf. Much still remains unknown about these astronomical bodies - with the first one only observed in 1995 - and the scientists behind the discovery were trying to understand more about the magnetic fields and radio emissions of five brown dwarves. However, when another team looked at the brown dwarf data they realised that one of the objects, dubbed SIMP J01365663+0933473, was far younger than the others. Its age meant that instead of a failed star, they had found a free-floating planet. Newborn stars peek out from beneath their natal blanket of dust in this dynamic image of the Rho Ophiuchi dark cloud from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope. Called Rho Oph by astronomers, it is one of the closest star-forming regions to our own solar system. Located near the constellations Scorpius and Ophiuchus, the nebula is about four hundred and seven light years away from Earth. The boundary often used to distinguish a massive gas giant plant from a brown dwarf is the 'deuterium-burning limit' - the mass below which the element deuterium stops being fused in the objects core. This limit is around thirteen Jupiter masses, so at 12.7 the newly identified planet was brushing right up against it. As this was being established, Doctor Kao had been conducting measurements of this distant object's magnetic field - the first such measurements for a planetary mass object outside our solar system. 'When it was announced that SIMP J01365663+0933473 had a mass near the deuterium-burning limit, I had just finished analysing its newest VLA data,' she said. Similar to the aurora borealis, this planet and some brown dwarves are known to have auroras of their own - despite lacking the solar winds that are known to drive them. It is the radio signature of these auroras that allowed the researchers to detect these distant objects in the first place, but it is still unclear how they are being formed. However, the research team's analysis showed the planet's magnetic field is incredibly strong, around two hundred times stronger than Jupiter's and this could help explain why it also has a strong aurora. “This particular object is exciting because studying its magnetic dynamo mechanisms can give us new insights on how the same type of mechanisms can operate in extrasolar planets - planets beyond our solar system,' explained Kao. 'We think these mechanisms can work not only in brown dwarfs, but also in both gas giant and terrestrial planets,' she said. Their research was published in The Astrophysical Journal. The scientists said their study shows that auroral radio emissions can be used to discover more planets beyond our solar system, including more rogue ones not attached to stars.
Thousands of people lined the streets of Cardiff as Wales officially welcomed home Tour De France winner Geraint Thomas. The thirty two-year-old was congratulated by First Minister Carwyn Jones at the Senedd in front of more than three thousand people in Cardiff Bay. Thomas became just the third Briton and the first Welshman to win the gruelling twenty one-stage race which culminated in Paris. He has been 'blown away' by support as eight thousand fans lined Cardiff's streets. 'I'm used to racing in front of thousands of people but to walk out to this, this is bonkers,' Thomas said.
The entertainer Barry Chuckle, one half of the comedy duo The Chuckle Brothers, has died aged seventy three. 'It is with great sadness that the family announce that Barry passed away peacefully at his home surrounded by his wife Ann and all his family,' his manager Phil Dale said in a statement. Chuckle, whose real surname was Elliott, came from a family of entertainers and rose to national prominence with his brother Paul in the late 1980s, becoming synonymous with the phrase 'to me, to you.' He died at home surrounded by his family, including his wife Ann. Following Barry's death Paul said: 'I've not just lost my brother, I've lost my theatrical partner of many, many years and my very best friend.' The brothers had recently filmed a new series, Chuckle Time, for Channel Five. Elliott had been unwell toward the end of the filming and summer work was cancelled while he rested at his doctor's request, but his health reportedly deteriorated. Born in Rotherham to Amy and James Patton Elliott in 1944, Barry and his four siblings grew up in a showbusiness family. Their father, a whistling comedian and dancer, toured India and Myanmar with the nineteen-year-old Peter Sellers in The Gang Show. Their mother was also a dancer. The eldest brothers Jimmy and Brian went on to form The Patton Brothers while Barry and Paul formed their own duo. The younger brothers got their first break by winning the ITV talent show Opportunity Knocks in 1967 and, by the 1970s, they were regulars on another popular talent show, New Faces. The 1980s spawned both The ChuckleHounds and then their hit BBC show ChuckleVision, which ran in various incarnations for twenty two years. They also presented the 1990s game show To Me ... To You ..., though the latter was shit. The brothers were also regulars on the pantomime circuit and by 2015 had performed in panto for forty eight consecutive years. They were awarded a BAFTA Special Award for their contribution to children's television in 2008. 'It's like a pat on the back from the business that we've been working in all these years. It's a really nice, warm feeling,' they said of the award. They also collaborated with Tinchy Stryder in 2014 on the rap song 'To Me, To You (Bruv)', which referenced their famous catchphrase. On Sunday the rapper tweeted: 'Funny, down to Earth, super cool, talented, humble legend. Rest in peace Barry Chuckle!' The brothers made a comeback to television this year almost ten years after ChuckleVision ended. Their Channel Five series, which premiered on 16 June and was to consist of twelve hour-long episodes, had them performing sketches and introducing humorous online videos from members of the public. Dale said: 'The family would like to express their thanks to the many people who have been fans of The Chuckle Brothers and they know that they will share in part the great, great loss they feel.' A family statement said: 'There will be no further comment at the moment and it would be much appreciated if the privacy of Barry's family is respected at this most difficult time.' It said that he had left 'fifty years of laughter as his legacy, which is something very special.'

The wait for the return of Doctor Who and the first female Doctor (yer actual Jodie Whittaker) is almost over. Filming has wrapped on series eleven as reported previously on this blog. Now the BBC has confirmed (roughly) when it will be appearing. Despite previously claiming that the show could return any time between 23 September and 21 December, the BBC has now told the Radio Times that it will be shown 'by October.' With the ten-episode series starting in October, that means the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama will run up to Christmas and then immediately be followed by a Christmas special. The secrecy behind everything series eleven-related is part of new showrunner Chris Chibnall's strategy to encourage live viewing. 'Wouldn't it be brilliant if everybody watches these episodes at the same time, as much as possible? Doctor Who is one of those shows that can still hopefully do that,' he told the Digital Spy website.
Appearing on The Late Late Show this week, Yer actual Matt Smith told Tobias Menzies - set to take over the role of Prince Philip in the next series of The Crown - to 'make sure the pay is even.' Speaking to that odious unfunny bucket of lard James Corden, Smudger revealed the advice he had given Menzies as he prepared to step into the role. 'Don't do it!' he said, before adding. 'I said a few things to him. God, make sure they pay you enough ... and make sure it's even.' Smudger was referring to the whinging controversy surrounding the cast's pay which broke earlier this year when it was reported that, despite being the show's main character, Claire Foy was paid less for her portrayal of Queen Elizabeth than Smith was for his role as her husband. Production company Left Bank Pictures later 'accepted responsibility' for the pay gap and apologised to both Foy and Smith, vowing that from now on 'no one will be paid more than the Queen.' Much as in real-life, in fact. Commenting on the news, Foy said she was 'not surprised' that people made it into a big story. 'But I know that Matt feels the same that I do, that it's odd to find yourself at the centre [of a story] that you didn't particularly ask for,' she added. Smudger received an EMMY nomination for his performance as Prince Philip in The Crown and the actor also revealed to the vileand ludicrous Corden where he was when he received the news. 'I was in Russia,' he said. 'I'd just seen England sadly get beat by Croatia [at the World Cup].' He continued: 'The next morning I was having breakfast, I had a bit of a sore head. Then I got a call that softened the blow a bit.' When asked by the worthless waste-of-space Corden if he would swap his EMMY nomination for an England World Cup final qualification, Smudger replied that he would.
National heartthrob David Tennant is, of course, used to hanging out in boxes that are bigger on the inside, so that may be why he wandered into a closet in a outtake from Hang Ups. The Digital Spy website this week posted footage which fans of the new Channel Four comedy series did not see in Tuesday's episode, including David in a cameo as one of Stephen Mangan web-therapy patients. Tennant's character Martin severely tests Mangan's patience by role-playing as Jerry Hall in order to avoid interacting with his party guests. The sitcom is adapted from Lisa Kudrow's Web Therapy, the web series which migrated over to US pay channel Showtime for a few years before being very cancelled in 2015. Tennant's Doctor Who compatriots David Bradley, Jessica Hynes and Richard E Grant, EastEnders veteran Jo Joyner, Game Of Thrones star Charles Dance and Damned's Lolly Adefope all pop up in the first run. 'With a few notable exceptions, shows that are made in one country and then remade in another country - for commercial reasons ' don't normally work,' Mangan admitted. 'I've just spent the last seven years in a show called Episodes which is about exactly this scenario. But then watching [Web Therapy] and thinking about it, we realised that the central premise is a really good one, so we took that central premise and made an entirely different show.'
When From The North favourite Stephen Fry announced that he was stepping down from hosting Qi, viewers knew that the production needed to find a solid replacement. With the appointment of Sandi Toksvig, most believed that producers had made the right choice. But it seems, behind the scenes, not everyone was as confident as we were. In an appearance on Room 101, Sandi admitted that no-one thought she would last more than one year after Stephen. Least of all, herself. Speaking about her dislike of bar stools, she said: 'Stephen and I are very different heights and I took over on Qi for the first season and because they weren't sure I was going to stay, I had his chair on a box that was this high and I had to climb up into the chair in order to present the show. Now, I'm pleased to tell you, I have my own chair on Qi!' The next - P - series of the popular knowledge panel show, Sandi's third in her host's chair, was filmed earlier in the year and, like Doctor Who, is expected to return to the BBC in the autumn (probably in October).
Television channels such as Dave and Gold are returning to the screens of Virgin Media customers after a fees dispute with UKTV was resolved. Virgin Media said that free-to-air channels had already been restored, with paid channels following shortly. Virgin had previously refused to pay what it called 'inflated' fees and complained that it was not allowed to show all channels on demand. More than five times as much on-demand content will now be available, it claimed. About four million subscribers of the cable company lost access to the ten UKTV channels in July after talks broke down, disappointing fans of shows such as Top Gear, Would I Lie To You? and Qi as well as classic comedies. UKTV, which is part-owned by the BBC, had said it could not accept the 'drastic' price cuts proposed by Virgin Media. Cable customers lost five free-to-air channels - Dave, Drama, Really and Yesterday - as well as the paid-for services Gold, Alibi, Eden, Good Food and W. A Virgin Media spokesman said the paid-for channels, which took longer to restore for 'technical reasons,' would reappear over the next few days. The new agreement increases the number of catch-up hours available, with customers on the top-tier Full House plan gaining access to 'significantly more' boxsets, the company said. It also adds access to HD versions of Dave and Gold for customers on the cheaper Virgin Mix plans. David Bouchier, chief digital entertainment officer at Virgin Media said: 'We are sorry for what we know has been a frustrating time for our customers, but are pleased that our TV bundles are now even bigger.' Customers on social media welcomed the return of their favourite shows and channels, but some said they had already switched TV provider during the shutdown. Simon Michaelides, chief commercial officer of UKTV, said: 'We know this has created real disruption for some of our viewers and we're so sorry for this, but we are thrilled to be back, broadcasting our channels and shows to customers of Virgin Media once more.'
Picnic At Hanging Rock managed to conclude its six episodes without including the novels most famous line ('everything begins and ends at exactly the right time and place') but with enough mystery and beauty to keep most viewers satisfied. Although, inevitably, in this this modern 'attention span of seven seconds' worlds there where whinges on Twitter about time invested in a series that had no ending neatly wrapped up with a bow. As alluded to here and here. Try reading the novel (or, even, watching the 1975 movie adaptation) you worthless shit-for-brains tossers, that'll really screw with your heads. Larysa Kondracki, the showrunner and director of several episodes, explained that she wanted the TV series to leave viewers with 'many unanswered questions.' Speaking to The Wrap, she said it's 'because that's six hours of your life' and so it's better to let people come up with their own ideas. 'I also want you to argue about what happened,' she continued 'and that's kind of half the fun about the show.' The series' end is true to the spirit of the original novel, where the actual facts of the disappearance matter less than the actual story and characters themselves. Several speculative stories have suggested a continuation is a possibility. One rather hopes not as the beauty of the story remains the very ambiguity and unresolved nature of the conclusion which so enraged the Twatterati.
The BBC's popular time-travelling police procedural drama Life On Mars could have had a two-part revival, according to co-creator Ashley Pharaoh. The cult hit ran for two series in 2006 and 2007 and followed Sam Tyler (John Simm), who was involved in a car accident and woke up in 1973. You knew that, right? After an ambiguous ending and a spin-off series - Ashes To Ashes, which ended in 2010 - fans have been left wanting more. Responding to a fan's question regarding a 'one-off two-parter' of Life On Mars on Twitter this week, Pharaoh claimed that he has 'thought' about returning to the Life Of Mars world before. 'We thought about a two-parter back in the day but it didn't make financial sense for the BBC,' he explained. 'I wanted to do a 1970s Xmas special!' Earlier this year, Philip Glenister said that he 'doesn't think' a big-screen revival movie would ever happen. Not that anyone remotely involved in the series has ever, for a single second, suggested that such a project was even under consideration.
Three years on from Leonard Nimoy's death, a new actor has been chosen to play his most iconic role Mister Spock. Ethan Peck said it was 'an incomparable honour' to be cast as the in TV show Star Trek: Discovery. Peck, the grandson of Oscar-winner Gregory, will join the show when it returns for its second series next year. The thirty two-year-old celebrated by posting a photo of himself with members of Nimoy's family giving Spock's famous Vulcan salute. Born in Los Angeles in 1986, Peck has experience when it comes to taking on characters associated with other actors. His previous roles include Patrick Verona - Heath Ledger's character in Ten Things I Hate About You - in the TV version of the 1999 movie. Alex Kurtzman, Star Trek: Discovery's executive producer, said in a statement that Peck would 'effortlessly embody Spock's greatest qualities.' Set twenty years before the events of the original 1960s TV series, the show can be streamed on CBS All Access in the US and on Netflix around the world.
The BBC's pre-apocalyptic crime drama Hard Sun will not be back for a second series. Because it was shit and no one was watching it. The broadcaster confirmed news of the cancellation to the Sun, with a spokesperson lying: 'We sometimes have to make difficult decisions to make room for new shows.' Instead of just saying 'not enough people watched it so we're doing something else.'Hard Sun was the brainchild of Luther creator Neil Cross. It starred Jim Sturgess and ex-model Agyness Deyn as two police officers in present-day London who find proof that the world will end in five years. Just like that David Bowie song. Only not as good. It premiered in January and limped through to a final episode which ended on a cliffhanger. One that, sadly for the six people that were still watching it by the end, will now never be resolved. Which is sad although, arguably, not as sad as the collapse of that bridge in Italy. That was really sad. Just, you know, for a bit of perspective.
Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner has managed to get just about everyone in Hollywood into the trailer for his new series The Romanoffs. In just under ninety seconds, Amazon Prime Video's sneak peek at the anthology comedy-drama packs in more than two-dozen A and B-listers across seven countries on three continents. The eight-episode series tells the stories of people from all different walks of life whose only connection is that they all believe they are descendants of the titular Russian royal family. The Romanoffs reunites Mad Men creator Weiner with many familiar faces from that EMMY-winning series, including From The North favourite Christina Hendricks, John Slattery, Jay R Ferguson and Cara Buono. The international cast also includes Aaron Eckhart, Diane Lane, Paul Reiser, Mary Kay Place, Noah Wyle, Corey Stoll, Amanda Peet and Andrew Rannells as well Isabelle Huppert, Hugh Skinner and Jack Huston. Amazon is keeping the plot descriptions of each episode strictly under wraps, but has confirmed that the first episodes will be titled The Violet Hour (featuring Eckhart) and The Royal We (featuring Stoll) respectively.
Developed by Gotham producers Danny Cannon and Bruno Heller, the previously announced prequel series, Pennyworth, is set to focus on the early years of the long-serving Wayne butler Alfred. A listing on Production Weekly has revealed that Pennyworth will go into production on 21 November in London. According to the listing, filming will go on 'for a period of seven months' and is expected to wrap in June 2019, which hopefully means that we're looking at a late 2019 or early 2020 premiere date. Despite both shows coming from the same writing team, Pennyworth and Gotham will exist in two separate universes, meaning that Gotham's Sean Pertwee won't be reprising his role for the new series. Pennyworth received a ten-episode order from the US subscription channel EPIX earlier this year and the series will follow ex-Special Forces soldier Alfred Pennyworth in the 1960s as he first works with Bruce Wayne's father, Thomas, in London. 'As genuine fans of these classic DC characters, as well as the incredibly talented Bruno Heller and Danny Cannon, we couldn't be more excited to make Epix the home of this series,' Epix president Michael Wright said in a statement at the time of the announcement addressed to 'genuine fans.' As opposed to ungenuine ones, presumably. As for From The North favourite Gotham its very self, the FOX series has, belatedly, been renewed for a fifth and final series of an indeterminate number of episodes (possibly ten, though that may be just a dodgy rumour) which will apparently finally see Bruce (David Mazouz) complete his transformation into The Batman after five years of build-up.
Westworld's second series may have been confusing to some viewers - and, even to a few of the actors - but it seems although the drama's creators Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy always had a plan. In fact, Nolan and Joy have now admitted that they've been planning series three's storyline since they were writing the pilot episode. 'Season three of Westworld is definitely going to be a big undertaking,' Nolan told The Wrap recently. Joy went on to stress that hitting this point of their story has, actually, been a long time coming. 'The great thing about season three is, when we were writing the pilot, the major storyline for season three was already something that we had talked about non-stop,' she claimed. 'We've been waiting to get to this place and now that we've arrived here, we already have a very strong idea of exactly where we want to go and we can't wait to go there.' Nolan and Joy previously described the third series as 'a radical shift' but Nolan adds that they have 'a long way to go' to get the details of that just right. 'We've got a long, long year in terms of writing and pulling together the pieces for the third season,' Nolan added. 'I think what's fun for us about this is discovering this world could be kind of extraordinary like this. And an opportunity - you know, if the show has spoken metaphorically about "our world" at this point, then the opportunity to visit "our world" is very exciting for us on both a character level and a story level.'
With the final series of yer actual Game Of Thrones not being broadcast until next year, the actors have to keep everything under their hats regarding spoilers but some of them still giving journalists enough of a tease to not waste everyone's time. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is very good at that sort of thing, offering some tantalising hints as to how the ending of series eight will play out without, actually, saying anything that gives anything dramatic away. He told The Wrap: 'I read it and I wrote [to] Dan and David and said I don't think they could have done a better job. I mean, when I read it - I've spent so many years working on this and been guessing and trying to figure out how this will end - and when I read it, some of the parts of it I'd get and other parts of it were just completely shocking and surprising. And it wasn't, there were none of those horrible - you know shows where it's a murder mystery and at the very last minute you find out it doesn't make sense? But here all the pieces fit into this massive jigsaw puzzle.'
As if Harvey Weistenin isn't in enough bother already, not he's got The Shelby's on his case. Television production company Endemol Shine International Ltd is seeking to lift the Weinstein Co's bankruptcy stay in order to sue the studio in the UK and officially terminate its US distribution deal for Peaky Blinders. Amsterdam-based Endemol Shine in papers filed on Wednesday in the US Bankruptcy Court in Delaware said that it needed to file a complaint in an English court to receive a determination on the status of its deal with Weinstein and his company.
Meanwhile, the first previews of a new TVE drama series have been met with a less than enthusiastic response from some viewers as Spaniards accused it of being 'a cheap copy' of Peaky Blinders. TVE recently started to show trailers for El Continental, its new drama focusing on criminals in 1920s Madrid. Social media users quickly pointed out 'striking similarities' between the aesthetic and that of Peaky Blinders, set in Birmingham and London during the same time period. 'A cheap Spanish-style copy of Peaky Blinders with Fernando Tejero instead of Cillian Murphy. What could go wrong?' wrote one Victor Hurtado in a tweet accompanied with a screenshot from the Spanish show. One saucy critic went as far as editing the show's Wikipediapage, which for a while of 13 August began with the line 'El Continental is a Spanish TV series that is a cheap copy of Peaky Blinders, produced by Gossip Events for TVE.' Needless to say, the description was, subsequently, changed to something marginally less libellous!) Another Twitter user wittily drew comparison between the new show and Peaky Blinders and The Simpsons character Guy Incognito and his extraordinary resemblance to Homer. Still, it could have been much worse for poor Homer - Max Power has, seemingly, signed for Sunderland.
Former footballer Paul Gascoigne has blamed his early exit from a TV show last Saturday morning on sleeping pills. The former England midfielder insisted that he was not drunk on Sky's Soccer AM, where he was a guest alongside Inbetweeners actor Joe Thomas. Gascoigne, who forged his career at yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved Newcastle United and Stottingtot Hotshots, has struggled with alcoholism and mental illness for more than twenty years. His most recent spell in rehab was in 2017, after the death of his nephew. After leaving Soccer AM midway through the show, host John Fendley told viewers that the fifty one-year-old was 'not feeling wonderful.' Gascoigne responded to concerns on social media which suggested that he 'looked out of it' during the show. Writing on Twitter, he said people were 'saying I was drunk,' but went on to explain that he had 'been taking sleeping tablets to try kip.' In 2013 the Football Association and the England Footballers' Foundation donated forty grand to help fund Gascoigne's treatment at an addiction centre in Arizona. The midfielder is best known for his performance in the 1990 World Cup, which saw England reach the semi-final of the tournament for the first time since 1966. He famously cried after receiving a yellow card in the semi-final against Germany, which meant he would not have played in the final if England had progressed. But, they didn't.
Another name has been added to the 2018 Strictly Come Dancing line-up - that of Capital FM presenter Vick Hope. No, me neither. Hope, who hosts the commercial radio station's breakfast show with Roman Kemp, is the fifth celebrity contestant confirmed for the upcoming series. 'It's a bit of a turn-up for the books to be honest,' she told listeners. 'I'm a fan of the show and I feel very honoured to be a part of it. I promise you I'm going to work so, so hard - I'm so excited.' Each of this year's contestants was given the name of a type of cheese as a codename to protect their identities in the run-up to the show. Hope revealed her cheese-related alias had been Wensleydale - joking that perhaps it was because she is 'Northern and creamy.' So, because she tastes horrible, one or the other. The twenty eight-year-old presenter, who was born in Newcastle and studied at Cambridge, also hosts Sky One's Carnage. Her other roles include digital reporter for ITV lack-of-talent shows The Voice and The Voice Kids. Hope joins a line-up that also includes YouTube vlogger Joe Sugg (no, me neither), broadcaster Katie Piper and former Steps' singer Faye Tozer. Red Dwarf actor Danny John-Jules has also been confirmed as one of this year's dancing competitors.
A painting bought for one hundred and sixty five grand and thought to have been painted by British artist Sir William Nicholson, could be nearly worthless after an art expert cast doubt on its authenticity. The still life of a glass jug and pears was examined on the BBC's Fake Of Fortune? programme. An expert, Patricia Reed, claimed that there was 'not enough evidence' to confirm who painted it. However, a handwriting expert believes the work is authentic and evidence links it to Nicholson's paint box. Presenter Fiona Bruce said she was 'shocked' and 'stunned' as the case had been 'so strong.''It was just love at first sight,' owner Lyn said of the piece, adding that she 'didn't have any doubt' of its authenticity when she bought it in 2006. But when a new catalogue of Nicholson's work - the official list of all his known pieces - was published by Reed in 2011, Lyn's painting was not included. 'I was hurt. I feel it's a miscarriage of justice,' Lyn said. She hoped that the Fake Or Fortune? team could prove otherwise. Will Darby, whose Mayfair gallery - Browse and Darby - exhibited the painting before selling it to Lyn told Fiona Bruce: 'I was shocked. As far as I was concerned this painting couldn't have been done by anyone else.' In Sunday night's episode, new evidence was revealed that scientifically linked the painting to Nicholson's own paint box which is kept in his grandson's house. A handwriting expert told the programme he was 'one hundred per cent convinced' that writing on the back of the canvas was by Nicholson. Pigments also matched those used in a very similar Nicholson painting now in Canada. Despite this, Reed was still not convinced it was genuine. 'There is nothing that gives direct evidence that he actually executed the work himself,' she said in a letter sent to the owner (Reed herself declined to take part in the programme). Born in 1872, Nicholson spent five decades painting portraits, landscapes and still lives. Reed claimed that some of Nicholson's painting boards would be reused by painters being taught by him in his studio. This group, known as 'the Sunday painters,'most famously included Winston Churchill and Reed said the painting 'could' have been executed by one of them. International art dealer Philip Mould, Bruce's Fake Or Fortune? co-presenter said: 'This has to be one of the most convincing technical investigations we've done on a picture.'
Football fans got a bit more than they bargained for when a naughty X-rated channel was turned on as they watched a match in a stadium bar. With the bare bobbies and everything. Little left to the imagination. During half-time of Tuesday's fixture between Bristol Rovers and Crawley, the Babestation channel popped up on screens at the Memorial Stadium clubhouse. The footage of scantily-clad women disappeared only to reappear as soon as the game resumed. Which, given that this was a match between Bristol Rovers and Crawley some might argue was far more entertaining than what was happening on the pitch. Bristol Rovers said that 'an investigation was under way.' The X-rated channel invites viewers to interact live with female presenters wearing just underwear via a premium-rate telephone number or text messaging. Fans who were in the newly-refurbished bar tweeted their amusement. Rivals Bristol City also got in on the act, tweeting about their own screens 'We can't promise any Babestation, sorry. Our TVs have parental control.' One wonders if a one-liner about 'a pair of Bristols' might be appropriate at this juncture. Probably not. Steve Hamer, chairman of Bristol Rovers, said an investigation was under way and the action was 'not acceptable.' One presumes he was talking about Babstation and not the match. He said: 'We have had a major refit in the clubhouse and our bars this summer and we've got fourteen to fifteen new TVs all in place and I suspect there was an area of vulnerability there and somebody has hacked into it. What was seen was pretty moderate and we will talk to our TV engineers and media teams to find out what happened.'
University Challenge stars Eric Monkman and Bobby Seagull will tour the country looking at Britain's technological achievements in their first TV show. The duo who rose to fame as rivals on the 2017 series of University Challenge will be 'searching the UK for hidden gems of British ingenuity.' And, they're hugely welcome at Stately Telly Topping Manor any time they like to see if they can find any here. Good luck with that, lads. The pair have also presented a show for Radio 4 about polymaths. Monkman And Seagull's Genius Guide To Britain will be a four-part series shown on BBC2. Canadian Monkman sparked the wholly social media-created 'Monkmania' with his expressive responses and (very impressive) extensive knowledge as he captained Wolfson College Cambridge to the final of University Challenge in 2017, where they lost to Balliol College Oxford. In the semi-final, Wolfson beat Emmanuel College Cambridge, captained by Seagull who had also gained something of a social media following and the two captains subsequently became good friends. Their new TV venture will see them 'explore the science of the deep-fried Mars bar and the world's smallest museum in a phone booth,' among other things. Monkman said: 'Curiosity is an approach to life. The more you know, the more you realise you don't know. My admiration for British genius is one of the major factors that led me to study in the United Kingdom. I look forward to learning more about Britain's scientific discoveries and to sharing what I learn with everyone.' Seagull added: 'The beauty of our friendship is that we're both driven by the same thing - a curiosity about the world."' The Londoner also recently confirmed that he had turned down a spot on Z-List Celebrity Big Brother shortly after his University Challenge appearances. Seagull claimed that he was 'very flattered' to be asked but that it was 'not a right fit' at the time. And, also, everybody who appears on that sick Victorian freak show has shit for brains and he would have been as out of place in the Big Brother house as a pig in a palace. Probably.
BBC journalists investigating a series of mysterious murders in Malawi have reportedly'narrowly escaped' being hacked to a bloody death. The team were working undercover to expose men who claim to suck the blood of children to make get-rich amulets when they were attacked by a crowd of furious villagers.
BBC reporter Stuart Flinders had a 'narrow escape' from having his skull crushed like a walnut when a cricket ball missed his head by inches while he was recording at a game. The North West Tonight presenter was reporting on the match between Lancashire Thunder and Yorkshire Diamonds at Blackpool when a ball hit for six bounced past him. He later tweeted that one of the Diamonds' batswomen had also sent a ball 'crashing on to the roof' of the van he was editing in. Cearly, the ladies were trying to tell him something. Stuart can probably take a bit of comfort in the fact that had he keen very killed live-on-telly, it would have been a memorably picturesque death, what with Blackpool Tower visible in the background. Lancashire Thunder won the game by nine runs.
Making a pretty pile of rocks on a beach seems like a nice way to spend a sunny afternoon. But there is, reportedly, 'some backlash' against the art of stone stacking. Critics -presumably with nothing better to do with their time - say that building new rock piles 'spoils pristine environments' and 'could be a threat to wildlife.' How, exactly, they don't specify. Supporters say that the health benefits far outweigh any damage. Most normal people couldn't give a toss one way or the other. John Hourston, the founder of The Blue Planet Society (no, me neither), believes it is a worrying trend. 'People are doing it with no education of the environment so they don't know what site they're in - whether the site has any wildlife significance or historic significance,' he told the BBC. And once again, dear blog reader, let us simply stand up and salute the utter shite that some people chose to care about.
Meanwhile, the From The North Headline of The Week award goes to the BBC News website for their riveting Reality Check: Public Toilets Mapped feature.
Mike Leigh's film about the 1819 Peterloo massacre in Manchester is to get its UK premiere in the city. The 17 October screening of Peterloo has been organised by the London Film Festival and will be the first premiere staged by the festival outside the capital. Maxine Peake and Rory Kinnear appear in the film, about the day troops charged a crowd of sixty thousand demanding political reform, killing at least ten people. Leigh said he was 'truly delighted' the UK premiere would be in Manchester. The director, who has been nominated for seven Oscars, said: 'It's always an honour to be included in the glorious London Film Festival, but how inspired and generous of the festival to screen Peterloo in Manchester, where it all happened.' The premiere will take place at the Home Arts Centre, around half-a-mile from the site of Saint Peter's Fields, where the protest took place. Home's artistic director of film Jason Wood said: 'It is fitting that Manchester audiences will be amongst the first to see this highly anticipated film which focuses on a pivotal event in our city's and our nation's political history.' The film and a question and answer session with Leigh will also be relayed to cinemas around the UK. The premiere was announced on the one hundred and ninety ninth anniversary of the massacre. Peake, who grew up in Bolton, has previously spoken at anniversary events to remember the massacre. 'It's about the importance of protest, the importance of people having a voice,' she said in 2016. 'The importance of democracy and liberty, it is something that should never be forgotten and the fact that Manchester is a really progressive city and it should be really proud of that.' The film will get a nationwide release on 2 November.
Virgin Media has been accused of leaving holes in people's walls and not following up complaints to fix the damage. They don't mention any of that in the Usain Bolt-fronted adverts, do they? One customer whinged that he has so far waited six weeks to have a ten inch 'crater-like hole' repaired. Complaints left on social media often claim that requests for calls or web chats with Virgin have 'gone unfulfilled.' Virgin Media has grovellingly apologised and claimed that it will contact affected customers. One or two people even believed them. Broadband engineers frequently have to drill or alter holes when installing cables in people's homes - but sometimes this can go wrong. 'The chap who did the installation was incredibly apologetic and it was a genuine accident,' explained Andrew Mabbitt, director of cyber-security firm Fidus Information Security. He said that the engineer then called his manager to arrange a repair, but this never materialised. 'Got a call the next day from Virgin saying they'd be in touch soon to arrange a date and they never called back,' Mabbitt told the BBC. He added that he also tried to contact the firm via its online chat service - but it was not working. Another customer, Dom Valentine, complained that the company 'left a large drill bit' stuck in his wall for more than a week. Valentine is a soldier in the British Army and said the damage occurred at military accommodation. 'I was there when it happened,' he told the BBC. He said the engineer drilled into a metal part inside the wall, which caused the drill bit to get stuck. An attempt to remove it from the outside of the building did not go well. 'He was hitting it with a hammer which has now cracked the bricks on the other side,' claimed Valentine. He added that he is 'still waiting to have it dealt with' and in the meantime he has been told to expect 'a sizeable bill' from the army, which owns the property. Virgin Media offered him twenty pounds credit but he said that the firm has not followed up on providing a repair. 'I was told the area manager would get back to me, which he hasn't,' added Valentine. A spokeswoman for Ofcom told the BBC that since 1 June the regulator had received ten whinges about damage to property left by Virgin Media workers and three relating to work done by Openreach. Virgin Media has responded to these queries via social media, but some customers claim damage to their homes is still awaiting repair. 'Virgin Media apologises to any customer who has experienced issues when our services have been installed in their property, as we do our best to make sure the process is as smooth as possible,' the firm snivelled in a statement. 'We are now in the process of contacting the customers listed in this article so we can see if the issue still exists and, if so, try and resolve it as soon as possible.'
We live inside a cosmic bubble, dear blog reader. Far beyond Pluto, at the edge of the vast expanse of interstellar space between our solar system and all the others is a wall. It's a thin wall, like the surface of a soap bubble, made up of compressed interstellar matter which is held in place by the energy emanating from the Sun. As the Sun's solar winds push out into deep space, interstellar matter—molecules of hydrogen and other elements—meet the force of the solar winds and, too small to fight them, compress into an interstellar shield of sorts, a bubble surrounding our solar system as it careens through the Milky Way. According to a paper published on 7 August, NASA believes that they may have detected the mass that makes up this mysterious boundary between us and the rest of the universe. NASA's New Horizons probe flew past Pluto in 2015 and researchers are still receiving data from it and likely will be for a long time to come. The latest data New Horizons has sent back includes an increase of ultraviolet light that scientists say is likely due to the compressed hydrogen which makes up the so-called 'interstellar wall.' Similar findings were reported by the Voyager probes thirty years ago and getting the same findings in 2018 strengthens the case that what they have found is, in effect, the boundary area where the Sun's influence begins to drop off. Like most scientific findings, the team is quick to say that it is 'not confirmed yet.' They say there is 'a chance' that the increased light may not be coming from the hydrogen wall, but may be another, as yet unknown, source in interstellar space. They say that the telltale sign will be whether or not the New Horizons probe keeps detecting light after it passes where the wall should be. If it stops detecting light, then it means that it was actually detecting the wall. If the readings remain the same, then it has to be 'something else.' It takes a long time to do things in space and it will likely take another decade before they will know for sure. Luckily, the instrument known as Alice that New Horizons is outfitted with has enough power to be operational for another fifteen to twenty years. It is, perhaps, only fitting that the giant ball of fire responsible for all life keeps a bubble around its children. Unfortunately, its a bubble that only stops very small things. The object named Oumuamua broke through it not long ago.
The man who scored the winning goal when Hereford United infamously knocked yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, even then unsellable) Newcastle out of the FA Cup in 1972 has been extremely jailed for money laundering. Ricky George was sentenced to two years and his son, Adam, has also been jailed, for fifteen months. The fraud involved the sale of a house without the knowledge or consent of the owner, Hertfordshire Constabulary say. A third man, Charles Jogi, was also convicted of money laundering at Saint Albans Crown Court. Adam George received one hundred and twenty thousand knicker into a business account from his father, Richard George who were both found very guilty. The money was then laundered through his own bank account and that of his father and Jogi, his father's friend. When the buyer of the house found out that he had been a victim of fraud and had lost two hundred and fifty thousand smackers, he had a heart attack, police say, from which he has 'thankfully recovered.' Jogi was sentenced to two hundred hours hours of unpaid work and was also given a community order. Ricky George will always be known as the man who scored the winner in that famous (and, painful) FA Cup third round replay win for non-league Hereford United over Newcastle United in February 1972. One that gets wheeled out for a repeat every year when the FA Cup come around. George would enjoy another sporting highlight, twenty six years later, as the co-owner of Earth Summit, the horse which won 1998 Grand National. Alan Mordey, from Hertfordshire Constabulary said: 'The fraudster used fake ID, which was verified by a solicitor, to get the housing deeds from the Land Registry. He then used a different solicitor to conduct the sale.'
Spanish two-time world champion Fernando Alonso has announced he is to retire from Formula 1 at the end of the season. The McLaren driver will end a career that began with a debut for Minardi at the Australian Grand Prix of 2001. Alonso, who is competing in his seventeenth F1 season, won the 2005 and 2006 championships when racing for Renault. 'After seventeen wonderful years in this amazing sport it's time for me to make a change and move on,' he said. 'I made this decision some months ago and it was a firm one. There are still several Grands Prix to go this season and I will take part in them with more commitment and passion than ever,' he added. 'Let's see what the future brings; new exciting challenges are around the corner. I'm having one of the happiest times ever in my life but I need to go on exploring new adventures.' Alonso has in recent years branched out into other series and in June he won the Le Mans Twenty Four Hours sportscar race at his first attempt. He joined Toyota's World Endurance Championship programme this season with the aim of winning Le Mans and has dovetailed it with F1. That victory provided him with the second part of motorsport's 'triple crown.' Twice a Monaco Grand Prix winner, Alonso is only missing Indianapolis Five Hundred success. He competed in the Indy Five Hundred in May 2017, retiring towards the end of the race with engine failure, having run strongly throughout and led for a total of twenty seven laps. Only Graham Hill has won all three classic races in the history of motorsport. Alonso ended Michael Schumacher's five-year dominance of the drivers' championship when he won the first of his titles in 2005. At the time, he became the youngster ever driver to win the title. He has also finished championship runner-up three times and to date has achieved thirty two wins, twenty two pole positions and ninety seven podium finishes. In his statement confirming he would retire at the end of this season, he suggested there may be a chance of him one day returning. 'I want to thank everyone at McLaren,' he said. 'My heart is with the team forever. I know they will come back stronger and better in the future and it could be the right moment for me to be back in the series; that would make me really happy.'
A 'foul-mouthed' parrot launched 'a four-letter tirade' at a firefighter as he tried to rescue the bird from a neighbour's roof in North London. And, this bollocks constitutes 'news', apparently. Jessie's owner had asked for help after the multilingual Macaw parrot spent three days on the roof in Edmonton. The RSPCA called in the London Fire Brigade to rescue the bird. Crew manager Atinc Horoz climbed up a ladder to get Jessie but was met with 'a volley of swear words' from the parrot, which then fucked off. LFB watch manager Chris Swallow said Horoz had told Jessie 'I love you' after being advised it was the only way to establish a 'bond' with the parrot. 'Jessie responded "I love you" back, we then discovered that she had a bit of a foul mouth and kept swearing, much to our amusement,' Swallow said. It emerged that Jessie also speaks - and, presumably, swears in - Turkish and Greek, 'so we tried telling her to "come" in both those languages too,' Swallow added. 'Thankfully, it soon became apparent that Jessie was fine and uninjured as she flew off to another roof and then to a tree.' After escaping, Jessie returned home 'of her own accord' on Monday afternoon, the LFB confirmed. Her owner later sent the firefighters who came to help her a video of Jessie thanking them.
Fancy a tarantula taco for twenty seven bucks, dear blog reader? A Mexico City market restaurant recently put the arachnids on its menu and posted a video on Facebook showing a chef torching one to within an inch of its life until it blackened. The only problem is that the Mexican red rump tarantula is an extremely protected species. The federal environmental protection agency said on Tuesday that it was 'alerted to the situation' via some filthy stinking Copper's Narks on social media and had seized four tarantula corpses which were ready to be served on tortillas. The tarantula tacos were, apparently, on offer for five hundred pesos, fifty times the price of a basic street taco. The restaurant's menu also features grasshoppers, worms and ant eggs, which have a long tradition in Mexican cuisine and scorpions, which are less common.
Missouri woman who was extremely busted attempting to smuggle two pounds of cocaine into Australia claims that she was 'tricked into committing the crime' by a lover she met on the Internet. Denise Marie Woodrum, was very arrested last August at Sydney Airport after customs officers found two pounds of drugs stuffed into the high heels of the shoes she was carrying, Sydney Morning Heraldreported. In January, Woodrum pleaded EXTREMELY guilty to importing a commercial quantity of a border-controlled drug. Authorities are still determining whether she knew what she was doing. Last week, Rebecca Neil, Woodrum's attorney, told District Court Judge Penelope Wass that her client was 'groomed and duped' into transporting the drugs by Hendrik Cornelius, a man she met online. 'She was groomed to provide a financial gain for this person, Hendrik Cornelius, whatever person or persons it was behind this identity,' Neil said. 'She went on this trip thinking she was bringing artefacts for him.' During the proceedings, Wass rejected Woodrum's defence as 'inconsistent and unbelievable. I am less than convinced by her explanation,' she said. Woodrum, an associate of the Adorers of the Blood of Christ, an international order of vowed Catholic women whose US offices are based in Missouri, claimed that she 'met' Cornelius online during 'a tough period in her life.' Woodrum claimed that she had 'just suffered a failed marriage and health issues' which inundated her with large bills. Although Woodrum and Cornelius had never actually met, they sent each other hundreds of text messages and 'developed a relationship.' Neil claimed that Woodrum was 'a vulnerable women' who was 'preyed on by a stranger.' On 18 July 2017, Woodrum embarked on a series of flights from Missouri to Texas, then Trinidad & Tobago, before travelling to Suriname in South America the following day. A week later, on 25 July, she sent a suspicious text to a contact called 'Stacie,' saying the 'whole trip is paid for and will get additional payment for work.' On 30 July, she told Cornelius that she was 'riding in his car to get stuff no signature needed' and texted him a list of hotel and flight expenses before she made the trip to Sydney in August. After being discovered by Australian border police, Woodrum told authorities that she was 'given clothes' in Paramaribo, Suriname, to gift to people in Sydney. Meanwhile, Cornelius was messaging her: 'Are you okay?''Shuttle?''Taxi?' and 'What are you doing, honey?' Tom Rozanski, Woodrum's father, told Fairfax Media that the charges against his daughter 'was a big shock to the whole family. It just came out of the blue,' he said. 'All of a sudden she met someone she talked to. She said she was going to be doing some travelling. Life took a turn. She has never done anything like this before and this experience has been difficult for me to understand. Mostly because none of our family has had anything happen to them that even remotely resembles what Denise has done. I'm just hoping the best for her, that's all I can tell you,' Rozanski said. Woodrum, who has been in custody since arriving in Sydney, is scheduled to be sentenced in early September.
One of the ringleaders behind the Hatton Garden raid has been given additional bird for failing to pay his confiscation order. Daniel Jones has been sentenced to a further six years and two hundred and eighty seven days for failing to pay back six million, five hundred and ninety nine thousand and twenty one smackers. He was a member of the gang which stole some fourteen million quid's worth of goods after drilling into a vault at London's Hatton Garden Safe Deposit in Easter 2015. Jones received his additional sentence at Westminster Magistrates' Court. The sixty three-year-old, from Enfield, was originally jailed for seven years in March 2016 after admitting conspiracy to commit burglary. In January, Jones and three other men were ordered to pay a combined total of more than six million notes between them after it was found they benefitted from the stolen cash, gold and gems. The gang was also ordered to each pay an extra sum 'depending on their personal circumstances.' Although, given that they're all in The Big House, one would have thought that their current personal circumstances do not include all that much additional earnings-potential. The raid has been branded 'the largest burglary in English legal history' with some two thirds of the valuables taken believed to remain unrecovered. Heather Chalk, specialist prosecutor at the CPS, said that Jones had 'gained millions of pounds of criminal cash' from the burglary. 'In January, the CPS showed the court that Jones had the funds to pay back his ill-gotten gains and today we have successfully argued that his default sentences should be activated,' she said.
Police are investigating after a video which apparently shows a man 'spanking a hippopotamus' at the Los Angeles Zoo. That's not a euphemism for anything, just in case you were wondering. The video shows the man crossing a railing last week and sneaking up on two hippos, Rosie and Mara. He smacks Rosie on the rear and her mother lifts her head as the man runs off and raises his arms in gesture of victory. Zoo spokeswoman April Spurlock told the Los Angeles Times that 'any unauthorised interaction' with an animal is 'unsafe for the animal and potentially unsafe for the person.' And, slapping a hippo on the arse would certainly appear to fall inyo the 'unauthorised interaction' category. Spurlock says that state law prohibits entering zoo enclosures. The zoo has posted a 'No Trespassing' sign on the exhibit for the first time. Police told the newspaper that they are 'investigating the case' as trespassing because the hippo did not appear to be injured.
After sixteen years of non-stop opera blaring from her home, police have arrested a Slovakian woman accused of driving her neighbours mental. Hungarian news site Parameter.skreported the woman, identified only as Eva, was arrested by police in the Southern town of Sturovo on Monday and is now facing charges of harassment and malicious persecution. The woman is accused of playing the same four minute aria from Giuseppe Verdi's La Traviata over and over again, on full volume, from morning until night. Local media claims the woman initially cranked up the volume on her home entertainment system to drown out a neighbourhood dog's loud barking. But, for some reason, she continued her assault on the senses for sixteen years, with neighbours furiously accusing the woman of harassment. 'I love Placido Domingo,' one woman told Hungarian news site Index.hu. 'But not like this.''The whole street is suffering,' another resident said. Verdi's La Traviata is adapted from the novel of the same name by Alexandre Dumas Fils, the son of the legendary author Alexandre Dumas, who wrote The Three Musketeers. The opera tells the tale of a famed courtesan in Paris and was made famous in the modern era when directed by Franco Zeffirelli in 1983. It is understood the offending version blasted out by the Slovakian woman was one starring Spanish tenor Plácido Domingo. Eva has been remanded in custody and, according to local media, could face up to three years in jail if convicted.
The summer heatwave has continued to reveal details of England's ancient past to archaeologists. Surveys from the air have revealed Neolithic ceremonial monuments, Iron Age settlements, square burial mounds and a Roman farm for the first time. Historic England said that the weather 'provided the perfect conditions' to see the crop marks because of 'the lack of moisture in the soil.' They include two Neolithic monuments discovered near Milton Keynes. The long rectangles near Clifton Reynes are thought to be paths or processional ways dating from 3600 to 3000BC, one of the oldest of their type in the country. Numerous features in a ceremonial landscape near Eynsham, a few miles North-West of Oxford, date from 4000BC to 700BC. Monuments to the dead, a settlement and a circle of pits can be seen in crop marks on the field in an area that is already protected. Other finds include an Iron Age round settlement at St Ive, Cornwall, a prehistoric settlement with concentric ditches at Lansallos, also in Cornwall, Iron Age square burial mounds or barrows in Pocklington, a Bronze Age barrow, a ditch and series of pits that could mark a land boundary in Scropton, Derbyshire, a settlement or cemetery at Stoke-by-Clare, Suffolk, a Roman farm in a field of grass at Bicton, Devon, prehistoric farms in Stogumber, Somerset, an ancient enclosure in Churchstanton, also in Somerset and the buried foundations of Tixall Hall in Staffordshire. In each case the remains are revealed as differences in colour or in the height of crops or grass. Duncan Wilson, chief executive of Historic England, said: 'The discovery of ancient farms, settlements and Neolithic cursus monuments is exciting. The exceptional weather has opened up whole areas at once rather than just one or two fields and it has been fascinating to see so many traces of our past graphically revealed.' Historic England uses aerial photography of crop marks to produce archaeological maps to help determine the significance of buried remains. This can help when making decisions about protecting them from future development or damage caused by ploughing. Aerial investigation and mapping manager Helen Winton said: 'This is the first potential bumper year in what feels like a long time. It is very exciting to have hot weather for this long. 2011 was the last time we had an exceptional year when we discovered over fifteen hundred sites, with most on the claylands of Eastern England.'
A passenger who called in a bomb hoax in order to delay his flight has been extremely jailed. Jacob Meir Abdellak rang the police eight minutes before the plane was due to leave Gatwick Airport for Los Angeles on 11 May. The phone number used to make the call was the same one that Abdellak had used to book his flight, Sussex Police said. He admitted a false information charge at Lewes Crown Court on Tuesday and was sentenced to ten months in the pokey. Abdellak, from Hackney, made the anonymous call at 5:47am, delaying take-off by ninety minutes. Inquiries revealed the forty seven-year-old had been abusive towards airline employees when they did not allow him to board as a result of being late for the flight. He was told to return on another date to rearrange his flight, the force said. The librarian was arrested at Gatwick eleven days later on 22 May as he attempted to board another flight to the United States. The French national admitted that the telephone number used to make the hoax call was his, but claimed he could not have made the call as he had lost the Sim card days earlier. Abdellak previously pleaded not guilty to the charge of communicating false information regarding a noxious substance. But, he changed his plea on the day the trial was due to start and was ordered to pay a one hundred and forty knicker 'victim surcharge' as well as serving his jail term. Gatwick Police Chief Inspector Marc Clothier said that Abdellak's actions were 'ridiculous. He was running late for his flight and thought it would be a good idea to call in a hoax bomb. This turned out to be the worst decision he could have made. His actions caused a level of fear and distress among a number of staff and passengers on board that flight.'
Football fans have been told to stay away from a Lancashire town where travelling supporters regularly stop off on their way to games. Chorley Council wants to stop coaches of away fans - and other assorted 'common riff-raff' - from visiting its town centre, because, it says, they have been 'intimidating' residents and shoppers and causing all manner of other malarkey and shenanigans. A letter has been sent to clubs saying that fans were 'not welcome.' And that 'ee don't want your sort round here, this is a nice town.' Probably. The Lancashire market town is a stop-off for fans on their way to games at Notlob Wanderings, Blackburn Vindaloos, Preston Both Ends, Burnley and Wigan Not-Very-Athletic. Chorley councillor Danny Gee, who sent the letter on behalf of the council's Town Centre Team, later 'clarified' they were specifically targeting coach loads of fans and admitted the letter 'could have been worded better.' And, less ignorant and absurd. Gee told BBC 5Live that 'congregating coaches' had become 'a big problem.' He added that the request had come from residents and business owners, who said their takings had dropped on match days. The letter refers to a story from April, where hundreds of Wolverhampton Wanderings fans visited Chorley before an away game at Notlob, but said that they had been 'relatively good-natured.' It was widely criticised on social media and the Football Supporters' Federation said it was seeking legal advice. Although, probably a far better form of revenge would be if coach parties did, indeed, avoid Chorley and go somewhere else instead to spend all their money. 'Football fans being told they're not welcome in pubs is one thing but to be told formally by a council they're not welcome in a whole town?! Wow! I'm genuinely speechless at this,' tweeted FSF caseworker Amanda Jacks. Chorley FC, known as The Magpies (no relation), play in National League North, the sixth tier of English football. Responding to a tweet the council sent congratulating Chorley on a win, Jacks replied: 'You can't have your cake and eat it. You either welcome football in your town, or you don't.' Ooo, she's mad-vexed, isn't she? Reiterating the council's position, Gee told The Phil Williams Show it was 'not banning anyone' and it was 'powerless' because of a lack of police. Which single statement has probably just encouraged every shop-lifter in two hundred mile radius to make a bee-line for Chorley. He added: 'Fans are welcome, but we are not welcoming large amount of coaches with one hundred and two hundred fans, congregating outside pubs and disrupting the town centre. They stand outside pubs and intimidate shoppers and families. They arrive at 12pm and leave at 2.30pm - by that time most of the shoppers have left.' In a statement, the council added: 'If the clubs themselves see fit to stop away fans entering some of their local pubs and don't sell alcohol in the ground why should that perceived problem be passed on to our town centre to deal with? As we stated in the letter we have done a lot of work and invested a lot of time and money into the town centre and we don't want Saturdays, which are one of the busiest days for traders, to be affected by people put off by football fans causing anti-social behaviour.' Chorley Council subsequently announced that they had reversed their decision, presumably after deciding that they'd had enough of being considered worthless shitty snobs by just about everyone in the whole world.
England have moved up six places to sixth in FIFA's world rankings after their run to the World Cup semi-finals in Russia. It is their highest position since they were fourth in March 2013. World Cup winners France rise six spots to top the rankings, ahead of Belgium, Brazil and Croatia, while Germany fall from first to fifteenth place. Wales are down one to nineteenth, while Northern Ireland and Scotchland go up two to twenty seventh and fortieth respectively. The Republic of Ireland also rise two positions to twenty ninth. England beat Colombia and Sweden in the knockout stages in Russia before losing to Croatia in the semi-finals. France have taken over top spot from Germany after winning the tournament for the second time, with runners-up Croatia rising sixteen spots to fourth. Host nation Russia were the biggest climbers in the rankings, up twenty one places to forty ninth. Germany have plummeted down the rankings following their exit at the group stage. Argentina, down six places to eleventh, Chile, down three places to twelfth and Poland, down tenth to eighteenth, also slipped. England return to international action on 8 September when they face Spain in the UEFA Nations League at Wembley.
The actress Janet Hargreaves has died at the age of eighty one. Janet appeared in three episodes of the 1988 Doctor Who story, The Greatest Show in the Galaxy though she is best known for her performance in the long running soap, Crossroads, where she played the glamorous (if somewhat unhinged) Rosemary Hunter from 1971 to 1980. Janet graduated from RADA in 1956, achieving a productive stage career appearing in Elgar & Alice, Habeas Corpus and a well-regarded performance in the long-running Agatha Christie play The Mousetrap. Prior to Crossroads she had a regular role in the BBC soap Compact, playing Clare Farrell and in The Doctors, as Cheryl Barnes. She later appeared in Follyfoot, The Avengers, Bottle Boys (an acclaimed turn as Margaret Thatcher) and Poirot. She played the spy Eirlys Brooks in Danger Man and appeared in Hammer's Frankenstein & The Monster From Hell. She remained active into her eighties continuing to teach and act and was a regular at Crossroads reunions.
On a bone-chillingly cold day in January 2009, Aretha Franklin stood on the steps of The Capitol in Washington, swathed in a spectacular ensemble of coat and hat in two shades of grey, singing 'My Country, 'Tis Of Thee' to her new president. All around her - and down the full length of the National Mall - the vast audience included many African-Americans with tears in their eyes, celebrating the inauguration of Barack Obama. She was facing West, as hundreds of thousands of slaves had done when they landed on a shore at the conclusion of their kidnap from Africa. 'Let freedom ring,' she sang, in the anthem's famous exhortation and millions watching on television around the world could not help but share the resonance of a historic moment. Franklin, who died this week aged seventy six, possessed one of the most remarkable, distinctive and influential voices in the history of popular music. In a fifty-year recording career she racked up twenty top ten LPs - including I Never Loved A Man The Way I Love You (1967), Lady Soul (1968), Young, Gifted & Black and Amazing Grace (both 1972) - a dozen million-selling singles and earned no fewer than eighteen Grammy awards. An artist of immense versatility, her powerful voice, trained in the gospel tradition, moved on to embrace jazz, soul and rhythm and blues. She was both the heir to the sacred tradition of Mahalia Jackson and Clara Ward, frequent visitors to her childhood home and the lineal descendant of the more secular Bessie Smith and Dinah Washington. Rolling Stone magazine rated her as the greatest singer of all time (male or female). Everybody else called her The Queen Of Soul.
Aretha Louise Franklin was born in Memphis, in March 1942. She was the daughter of CL Franklin, a Baptist minister and his wife, Barbara, an accomplished gospel singer. By the time Aretha was six, she and her family had moved to Detroit. There the young Aretha became something of musical prodigy, learning to play the piano by ear and singing in her father's church choir. Her friends and neighbours in Detroit included Berry Gordy and Smokey Robinson, later to found the Tamla and Motown labels; another future Motown star, Marvin Gaye, dated her older sister. But it was a newly arrived music director at her father's church, James Cleveland, who, although barely out of his teens himself, helped to focus her early career as a gospel singer. Her father's serial infidelities finally saw the break-up of her parents' marriage. Her mother left the family home and moved to Buffalo, where she died from a heart attack aged thirty four. (Contrary to popular notions, her mother did not abandon her children; not only would Aretha recall seeing her mother in Buffalo during the summer, Barbara also frequently visited her children in Detroit.) Aretha's father became a respected figure among Detroit's black community and his church a centre for gospel music. His emotionally driven sermons like 'The Eagle Stirreth Her Nest' and 'Dry Bones in the Valley' resulted in his being known as the man with 'the million-dollar voice.' The young Aretha came into contact with a number of musicians, including Robinson and Sam Cooke. Encouraged by her father she made her first recording, the LP Songs Of Faith, when she was just fourteen, by which time she had already given birth to her first son, Clarence. She had a second child, Edward, when she was sixteen, but was able to maintain her singing career when her grandmother offered to raise the two boys. By now her talent was reaching a wider audience. Berry Gordy tried to sign her to his Motown stable, but her father turned down the offer. Sam Cooke tried to persuade her to sign with his label, RCA. But she had already been spotted by one of Columbia's talent scouts and that was the label on which she first entered the R&B charts in 1960 with 'Today I Sing the Blues'. While she had two further R&B hits with Columbia, she only managed to scrape into the mainstream US top forty once, with 'Rock-A-Bye Your Baby With A Dixie Melody'. But Columbia failed to exploit the potential of her gospel voice and their insistence that she record girl group-style pop, such as 'The Shoop Shoop Song.' Her contemporaries were the emerging stars of soul music, but as long as she remained with Columbia she was trapped in the smart, superficial world of the supper club. 'I felt it important to sing songs people knew and could sing along with,' she said, a misconception that was finally broken down when she linked up with Jerry Wexler, the vice-president of Atlantic Records, a former Billboard journalist who had already played an important role in the careers of Ray Charles, The Drifters and Solomon Burke. 'You'll do good things with Aretha,' his friend John Hammond assured him. 'You understand her musically.' Wexler decided that in order to bring the best out of her, he had to get her out of New York and send her South, to a place where the roots of her artistry could emerge naturally. In January 1967 Franklin and Wexler travelled to Alabama for a scheduled two weeks of recording at the Fame studios in Muscle Shoals, where they were greeted by the studio's owner, Rick Hall and a rhythm section composed, in Wexler's words, of 'Alabama white boys who took a left turn at the blues.' Sensitive to the feelings of Franklin and her volatile husband in a potentially awkward environment, the producer had asked Hall to hire a horn section including black musicians. Her first recording on the new label, 'I Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You)', proved to be her breakthrough, going to number one in the rhythm and blues charts and reaching then top ten in the pop charts. Her second Atlantic single became her best known song. Originally written and recorded by Otis Redding, her gospel-tinged rendition of 'Respect' went to number one in the US charts and reached number ten in the UK. The song, on which she was backed by her sisters Carolyn and Erma, became an anthem for the feminist movement and won Franklin two Grammy awards. Franklin also became an icon for the US civil rights movement. Now dubbed, 'Lady Soul', she was presented with an award by Martin Luther King and became only the second African-American woman to appear on the cover of Time magazine. When King was shot dead in 1968, Aretha sang his favourite gospel song, 'Take My Hand, Precious Lord', at a memorial service. Asked about the man she knew by Ebony magazine, Franklin said: 'He and my dad were great friends and my dad from time to time, being the older gentleman, would counsel Doctor King. I always had a great admiration for him and his sense of decency and the justice that he wanted. He was a good man. Just a plain old good man, good person and you can't help but admire that.' A fighter for racial and gender justice, she once reportedly walked off a Vogue photo session in the 1960s when she noticed that all the other models were white. But she could seem vulnerable and agoraphobia and a fear of flying were said to have prevented her from touring for long periods. A lover of food, extravagant gowns and adventurous hairstyles, she used her autobiography to attempt not just to catalogue seemingly every outfit she had worn on a big occasion but also to dispel, without great success, the prevailing impression that she possessed, as Hammond had warned Wexler in 1967, a 'withdrawn and enigmatic' character.
She had three more US top ten hits in 1967, 'Baby I Love You', 'Chain Of fools' and the Carole King/Gerry Goffin masterpiece '(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman' which became another strong anthem for the women's movement. By this time her seven year-long marriage to her manager, Ted White, who had also co-written many of her songs, was breaking down and Franklin was experiencing difficulties in following up her early run of Atlantic hits. There were rumours she had begun drinking heavily and, in 1969, she was arrested for disorderly conduct. Meanwhile, her father had hosted a controversial conference for a black separatist group that ended in a violent confrontation with Detroit police. It left one officer dead and several other people wounded. While she continued to churn out hits - masterpieces like 'Think', 'I Say A Little Prayer' (both 1968), 'The Weight', 'Eleanor Rigby' and 'Share Your Love With Me' (1969), 'Call Me' and 'Don't Play That Song' (both 1970) and 'Spanish Harlem' (1971) - she was becoming increasingly disillusioned with Atlantic, who were grooming a new star, Roberta Flack, for stardom. The 1978 LP Diva, an ill-advised attempt to cash in on the disco craze, was a commercial flop and became her last recording for Atlantic. A year later her father was shot during a burglary at his Detroit home, an event which left him in a coma until his death in 1984. Aretha's behaviour was giving cause for concern and she had to cut down on her touring after developing a phobia of flying. Yet her appearance in 1980 film The Blues Brothers gave her career the lift it needed and a recording contract with Arista that saw her return to the charts with the LP Jump To It. Its title song became her first US top forty hit in six years. Who's Zoomin' Who?, a mixture of pop, rock and dance, became Franklin's first ever platinum-certified LP. Released in 1985, it contained hit singles 'Freeway Of Love' and 'Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves', a top twenty duet with The Eurythmics. Her next LP, Aretha, continued to build on her success and included the hits 'Jimmy Lee' and a version of 'Jumpin' Jack Flash', produced by and featuring Keith Richards, as well as her Grammy-winning duet with George Michael, 'I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)'. 'It's often said Aretha Franklin could make any old rubbish sound wonderful,' said John Peel introducing the video for the latter on Top Of The Pops. 'In fact, I think she just has!' But her career again hit a plateau. She made a return to gospel with the LP One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism, which received much critical praise and a Grammy award, but failed to trouble the charts. The follow-up, Through the Storm, also failed to make an impression, despite a duet with Elton John on the title song. In 1987 Franklin became the first woman to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, while in 1994 she received a Grammy award for lifetime achievement. In 1998, Franklin received international acclaim for singing the opera aria 'Nessun dorma' at the Grammys of that year, replacing Luciano Pavarotti. Later that year, she scored her final top forty song with 'A Rose Is Still A Rose'. But her career had stagnated. She continued to record, without great success and reprised her role as the owner of a restaurant in the film Blues Brothers 2000, for which she recorded a new version of 'Respect'. Franklin set up her own label, Aretha Records, in 2003, but failed to release any CDs on it. This was despite her announcement in 2006 that new songs had already been recorded for a project entitled A Woman Falling Out Of Love. In 2009 she sang 'My Country, 'Tis Of Thee' at the inauguration ceremony of newly-elected US president Barack Obama. He was third president for whom she had sung at an inauguration, following Jimmy Carter in 1977 and Bill Clinton in 1993. Following an operation in 2011 she struggled with health issues and cancelled a number of concerts. But in 2013 she returned to live performances with a concert in Detroit which launched a major tour. Franklin's own philosophy probably sums up why, despite the ups and downs of her career, she became such an enduring talent. 'Being a singer is a natural gift. It means I'm using to the highest degree possible the gift that God gave me to use. I'm happy with that.' Her sister, Carolyn, died in 1988, followed by their brother Cecil the following year and Erma in 2002. Twice married, Aretha is survived by her four sons, Clarence Franklin, Edward Franklin, Teddy Richards and Kecalf Cunningham.

The BBC has announced the full list of writers and directors for the new series of Doctor Who, launching this autumn on BBC1. Showrunner Chris Chibnall, said: 'We have a team of writers who've been working quietly and secretly for a long time now, crafting characters, worlds and stories to excite and move you. A set of directors who stood those scripts up on their feet, bringing those ideas, visuals and emotions into existence with bravura and fun. Hailing from a range of backgrounds, tastes and styles, here's what unites them: They are awesome people as well as brilliant at their job. They loveDoctor Who. And they've all worked above and beyond the call of duty in an effort to bring audiences something special, later this year.'
The former Children's Laureate Malorie Blackman has written over sixty books for children and young adults including the Noughts & Crosses series of novels and her book Pig-Heart Boy, which was subsequently adapted into a BAFTA-winning, six-part TV serial. Malorie says: 'I've always loved Doctor Who. Getting the chance to write for this series has definitely been a dream come true.' Ed Hime was nominated for a Craft BAFTA for his first episode of Skins and won the Prix Italia for his radio play The Incomplete Recorded Works Of A Dead Body. 'Writing for this series comes down to the adventure really and telling emotionally engaging stories to bring everyone along with you,' he said. The playwright and screenwriter Vinay Patel's television debut, Murdered By My Father, won the 2016 Royal Television Society Award for Best Single Drama and was nominated for three BAFTAs. Vinay says: 'I grew up watching shows like Star Trek and Quantum Leap on the edge of my dad's bed and I loved how they managed to capture the imagination of a kid like me as well as acting as a moral compass. I never imagined that I'd get to write for Doctor Who– I was pretty thrilled.' Pete McTighe is the originating writer of Wentworth, the female prison drama which has sold to over one hundred and fifty countries. He has written over a hundred hours of TV drama and been nominated for five Writers Guild Awards. Pete says: 'My entire television career has quite literally been an elaborate plan to get to write Doctor Who - and no one is more shocked than me that it paid off. I've been having the time of my life working with Chris and writing for Jodie and the new team and can't wait for everyone to see what we've been up to.' Joy Wilkinson has been selected as a Screen International Star of Tomorrow and has had two screenplays featured on The Brit List. Her TV scripts include the critically-acclaimed BBC five-parter The Life & Adventures Of Nick Nickleby, while her theatre work has won prizes including The Verity Bargate Award. Joy says: 'I loved the show and felt like it might be a good fit for me, but I knew it was really hard to get onto. So quite frankly I'm still pinching myself to be here!' Sallie Aprahamian has been directing television for over two decades with critically acclaimed shows including Extremely Dangerous, The Sins, Real Men, The Lakes, Teachers and This Life. Sallie's memories of Doctor Who go back to the 1960s. 'I watched the First Doctor from behind the sofa through my fingers, frightened and exhilarated. I was really delighted, as a fan and as a director, to be invited to work on the first female Doctor's series. What a brilliant time to be on the show!' Jamie Childs, who directed Jodie Whittaker's reveal as The Doctor, returns for the opening episode of the new series. Jamie says that Doctor Who represents 'an important part of our television landscape. We tend to avoid making many shows in Britain that really allow the audience to properly escape, and Doctor Who has been doing this for decades. So yes, sign me up - I've always wanted to be part of that! There really aren't many shows made over here that allow the viewer to travel to another universe.' Jennifer Perrott wrote, directed, produced and executive produced her award-winning short film The Ravens. Since finishing Doctor Who she has been directing Gentleman Jack, the forthcoming BBC/HBO historical drama series created by Sally Wainwright and starring Suranne Jones. Jennifer says: 'Doctor Who is an iconic show and one I'd loved as a child, especially when Tom Baker was The Doctor. Space travel has become more a part of modern life and this has opened the door for more human stories to be told amidst the escapist fantasy of saving the world from alien invasion. The aliens are now as emotionally complex as the humans, and I was really excited by that.' Mark Tonderai went to school in Zimbabwe and architecture school in Kingston, before landing a job at the BBC as a trainee presenter. Mark has directed the full season of The Five, Impulse, Lucifer, Gotham, Black Lightning, Nightflyers,the acclaimed psychological thriller Hush and the Jennifer Lawrence thriller House At The End Of The Street. Mark says: 'What was really crucial in my decision to direct the show was Chris Chibnall. I'm a huge fan of his and I like the way he sees the world. He has this ability to entertain and also deliver truths - questions, too - about who we are. And he does it all with a hint of a smile.'
The former Doctor Who Executive Producer and current BBC Drama Controller Piers Wenger has shared his views on what he believes Jodie Whittaker brings to the role of The Doctor. Jodie was  this week placed fifteenth in the Radio Times TV One Hundred, a list of, according to the publication, 'the hottest TV stars of the past twelve months.' Celebrating Jodie's placement, Wenger said: 'It's a testament to the energy and focus that Jodie has brought to Doctor Who that it's hard to distinguish where one ends and the other begins. She said from the start that she could only do it her way and so it has become. Gone is the daffiness and idiosyncrasy of her predecessors in favour of a Doctor with energy, spark and relatability.' Somewhat inevitably, this rather throwaway statement was much commented upon by a certain section of Doctor Who fandom on social media with very loud voices (you know, Those People) as being some kind of coded 'insult' to all of the previous Doctors when, in fact, it was nothing of the sort. Still, a week wouldn't be a week if parts of Doctor Who fandom didn't have something to whinge about, would it?
Meanwhile, the BBC's content director Charlotte Moore also congratulated new showrunner Chris Chibnall who placed even higher that Jodie in this utterly meaningless annual 'Biggest Knobs In Telly' poll. The Chib occupies the number two spot. Moore said: 'Chris is a wonderfully talented multi-award-winning writer whose catalogue of work speaks for itself. I can't wait to see his passion and vision for Doctor Who come to life on BBC1 this autumn. As a lifelong fan himself, I know he will bring something very special to the hit series to captivate old and new fans across the globe.'
And, speaking of The Biggest Knobs In Telly, Jodie and The Chib's former Broadchurch colleague Olivia Colman has been named 'the most powerful person in British television,' according to a ranking by the Radio Times. A list which is based on ... Christ-only knows what; probably whatever box-sets the staff of Radio Times have been watching recently, one suspects. The actress, who will appear as Queen Elizabeth in the next series of Netflix's The Crown, comes top of the magazine's TV One Hundred'power list,' which attempts to 'rank the on-screen and behind-the-scenes individuals who have had an exceptional past year in British television.' Colman rose to prominence in Channel Four's Peep Show (though, this blogger was well-aware of Colly before that thanks to scene-stealing roles in Green Wing, Look Around You and the movie Hot Fuzz) before making award-winning appearances in Broadchurch and The Night Manager. She is also due to star in the BBC's forthcoming Les Misérables drama and as Strawberry in an adaptation of Watership Down. Busy lady. Damned fine actress as well - a very definite From The North favourite - although whether she really is'the most powerful individual in the industry' as several media outlets have asserted is another question entirely. As previous noted, Chris Chibnall takes the runners-up slot, while third place is shared by siblings Daisy May and Charlie Cooper - the creators, writers and stars of This Country. Which, this blogger has to confess he has never watched, although he has heard jolly good things about from some people whose opinions he - usually - respects. Other people who make the top ten include Wor Geet Canny Declan Donnelly, who is preparing to host I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want) without long-term on-screen partner Wor Geet Canny Ant McPartlin, the BBC natural history presenter David Attenborough and Luther's Idris Elba. Hugh Grant is in seventh place following praise for his performance in A Very English Scandal, one spot above Vanessa Kirby, who won a BAFTA for her portrayal of Princess Margaret in The Crown. Benedict Cumberbatch, who is preparing to play Vote Leave boss Dominic Cummings in a forthcoming Channel Four drama, comes ninth following his performance in Sky's Patrick Melrose, while another From The North fave, yer actual Nicola Walker completes the top ten after appearing recently in The Split and Unforgotten. Other individuals to make the top twenty include Derry Girls writer Lisa McGee, the BBC journalist Carrie Gracie and that risible oily twat Piers Morgan. The list is, the magazine claims, 'drawn up by dozens of actors and industry executives from major broadcasters and independent production companies,' including Sir Lenny Henry (last, briefly, funny in 1983), ITV director of television Kevin Lygo and Amazon's director of original TV Georgia Brown. Radio Times staff then choose the final ranking. Susanna Lazarus, Radio Times' associate editor, said: 'At a time of rapid change in the way we watch TV, how appropriate that our list is topped by a brilliant performer who has starred in some of the biggest broadcast shows of recent times and is soon to become the queen of on-demand as the lead in Netflix's The Crown.'
Yer actual Mark Gatiss has written and directed a ghost story for BBC4. Channel editor Cassian Harrison announced the news this week during Edinburgh TV Festival. The one-off thirty minute piece, titled The Dead Room, was filmed at Maida Vale studios and stars Simon Callow in the lead role. The Dead Room follows a radio horror series and its veteran presenter Aubrey Judd, who discovers that 'all is not quiet right in his spooky studio.' Callow is joined by Anjli Mohindra, Susan Penhaligon and Joshua Oakes-Rogers. Speaking about BBC4's creative progression, Harrison explained: 'I'm immensely proud of how BBC4 continues to stand as a truly unique offer in UK broadcasting and of the ongoing support of our audiences, with the channel showing some of its best figures ever this year.' The channel editor also unveiled three more forthcoming projects - The Yorkshire Ripper, You, Me & Eugenics and The Plague - stating: 'This selection of upcoming titles gives a glimpse of the diversity of programming we have coming down the line, with bold new narrative forms, hard-hitting journalism, the best of international drama and eclectic partnerships with some of the UK's biggest creative talents.'
From The North favourite Derren Brown has finally made good on his promise from earlier this year, as Netflix have announced a new special to launch later this year. Following his Channel 4 special The Push, which was added to the streaming service in February and saw Brown as he attempted to convince someone to commit murder, Derren will be back for a new Netflix special entitled Derren Brown: Sacrifice. In Sacrifice, Dazzling Dezza will attempt to 'radically transform one man's prejudices' using covert psychological techniques and 'ultimately create a scenario in which the man will have to decide whether or not to make the ultimate sacrifice' and lay down his own life for a complete stranger that he wouldn't normally have identified with. Earlier this year, Dezza said that he was working on two Netflix specials. Brandon Riegg, Netflix's VP of 'unscripted originals and acquisitions,' also confirmed during the Edinburgh TV Festival that four more new unscripted original series will be coming to the streaming service. These will include a global culinary competition, an extreme magic show, an 'action comedy game show' and a documentary series about the thigh-slapping goings-on at Blunderland Football Club last season. So, the latter probably should also be classified as a comedy. The Final Table will see the world's most renowned chefs fighting for a spot at the elite 'Final Table', as twelve teams of two chefs from around the world are tasked with cooking the national dishes of a number of countries, from Mexico and England, to Japan and India. Sunderland Til I Die [sic], which will give fans of The Mackem Filth (and, there are still one or two) 'the opportunity to relive the most painful season of their beloved club's history,' taking viewers 'behind the scenes of their infamous 2017-18 Championship season.' When, for the second time in two years, Blunderland were extremely relegated. It comes after Sheikh Yer Man City were followed by Amazon's camera's during the same period, documenting their record-breaking Premier League title-winning season. It's probably fair to say that the two clubs had very different results between August 2017 and May 2018, with the North East side's season going from bad to worse to even worse - and then to unbearable. So, that should be funny.
Russell Davies is returning to Channel Four for his long-awaited AIDS crisis drama The Boys, which he first spoke about in 2015. The five-part series will be written by Big Rusty and produced by RED Production Company, which Davies has previously worked with on the likes of Queer As Folk, Casanova, Cucumber and Banana. It will follow three young men across the 1980s and how they are affected by the growing AIDS epidemic. 'I lived through those times and it's taken me decades to build up to this. And as time marches on, there's a danger the story will be forgotten. So it's an honour to write this for the ones we lost, and the ones who survived,' Davies explained. The Boys centres on three eighteen year olds, Ritchie, Roscoe and Colin after they leave home and head to London in 1981. 'Year by year, episode by episode, their lives change, as the mystery of a new virus starts as a rumour, then a threat, then a terror and then something that binds them together in the fight,' the synopsis reads. 'It's the story of their friends, lovers and families too, especially Jill, the girl who loves them and helps them and galvanises them in the battles to come. Together they will endure the horror of the epidemic, the pain of rejection and the prejudices that gay men faced throughout the decade.' The drama is set to go into production in 2019, but there is not yet a confirmed release date.
Peaky Blinders has found itself a new home in the shape of BBC1 ahead of its fifth series. The historical drama's move was confirmed this week at the Edinburgh TV Festival by Charlotte Moore. As well as hoping to build on its average BBC2 audience of over three million punters, Peaky Blinders will be given 'more creative headroom to experiment' when it moves to BBC1, Moore confirmed. 'Peaky Blinders is world class drama at the top of its game and the time has arrived for it to move to the UK's biggest channel,' she said in a statement. 'Steven Knight's epic storytelling is authentic and utterly compelling and I want to give it the chance to be enjoyed by an even broader audience on BBC1. We couldn't have asked for a better response to series four and the impact it had with young audiences.'
The Big Bang Theory will broadcast its final episode in 2019, ending one of the longest-running sitcoms in US history. The programme's twelfth and final series will premiere on 24 September and is expected to conclude in next May. Set in Pasadena, the series originally focused on two physicists and their aspiring actress neighbour. The Big Bang Theory has attracted more than eighteen million viewers every year since its sixth series was shown in 2012. The production teams and CBS said in a joint statement they were 'forever grateful' to the fans. 'We, along with the cast, writers and crew, are extremely appreciative of the show's success and aim to deliver a final season and series finale, that will bring The Big Bang Theory to an epic creative close,' it read. The series has won seven EMMYs from forty six nominations, including four Outstanding Lead Actor wins for Jim Parsons, who plays the socially inept character Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon became the major success story of the show, earning a spin-off series, Young Sheldon. The other stars of the sitcom are Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, Kunal Nayyar, Kaley Cuoco and Mayim Bialik. In 2016, the principal cast earned about a million dollars per episode, although there were reports that they accepted a pay cut to ensure other cast members got rises. Entertainment Weekly report that these large pay packets and the show's many years in production meant it was probably the most expensive show to produce on television which may explain why it was not picked up for a thirteenth series.
Sherlock's Andrew Scott is joining the cast of the multi award-winning Fleabag. Phoebe Waller-Bridge's dark comedy has just started filming its second series. The BAFTA-winning actor joins the line-up that includes Olivia Colman, Sian Clifford, Bill Paterson and Hugh Skinner. The first series was adapted from Waller-Bridge's award-winning play and won a BAFTA and two Royal Television Society Awards. Waller-Bridge said: 'I can't believe they let me do this again. I'm so happy to be back with the incredible Fleabag team and I'm as surprised as anyone about where this series has taken us, thank God for Andrew Scott.' Since the last series, Waller-Bridge has appeared in Solo: A Star Wars Story and written and executive produced two series of Killing Eve for US TV, which will be on BBC1 soon. Little had been revealed about what direction the second series of Fleabag would take. Speaking at the start of filming, Shane Allen, controller of comedy commissioning at the BBC, said that the scripts were 'sparkling with Phoebe's unique voice that combines a whip smart complexity of character with pin sharp funny lines scattered everywhere. The themes of this series are very distinct from the first series which delivers on the challenge Phoebe set herself. It's a superb team and cast from top to bottom and with Fleabag you can never escape a reference to the bottom.'
Big Brother is still watching you. But, increasingly, the public isn't watching Big Brother or Z-List Celebrity Big Brother. The latest z-list celebrity series of the long-running sick Victorian freak show launched last week but has been overshadowed by Love Island, beset by complaints over racist language - see below - and the behaviour of its contestants and has been without Stormy Daniels, who was supposed to be the current series' biggest draw, who pulled out hours before the first episode was due to be broadcast. Now Channel Five controller Ben Frow has said that he is planning 'for a year without Big Brother,' with the broadcaster's contract to broacast the show due to run out at the end of this year. While his statement falls short of formal confirmation that it will be cancelled - he subsequently clarified that he would 'never say never' to recommissioning it - Frow has repeatedly said that he would 'prefer to focus on other projects' as he attempts to 'reposition' his station with more upmarket programmes. Big Brother, which was first shown on Channel Four in 2000, heralded the start of a new sick Victorian freak show television era and has been a Channel Five mainstay since it switched to the network in 2011. But, the latest z-list celebrity series launch, delayed to avoid a clash with Love Island, attracted just two million overnight punters last Thursday and ratings have since 'dropped substantially,' according to figures from the analysis service overnights.tv. Meanwhile, Love Island opened with almost three million, despite being shown on the less prominent ITV2. 'It's a dilemma for Channel Five. Big Brother is both a show in decline but is still Channel Five's biggest show,' said Chris Curtis, the editor of the industry magazine Broadcast. 'It attracts lots of young viewers which are very appealing for advertisers - but it's a heritage show and it slightly feels it's from a previous era. It's also very expensive and it is a very big investment to maintain it.' This year's Z-List Celebrity Big Brother - the twenty second series in the UK - was hit hard by the decision of the pornographic actress Stormy Daniels, who claims that she had an affair with Donald Trump, to pull out of the programme at the last minute. Producers had already constructed a set and a series of Trump-related challenges, which they used regardless. 'We built a whole week around Stormy,'whinged Frow, pitifully. 'I flew someone out to accompany her here. She disappeared on us. I was miffed. I was bloody furious, actually, we built The White House and the whole goddamn thing around her.' To make matters worse, the show has continued to attract headlines for all the wrong reasons. The forthcoming 'civilian' version of the programme could, potentially, be the franchise's last outing on UK television. Curtis said that the show's future would, ultimately, depend on whether there were 'better ways' for Channel Five to spend the show's budget: 'If you free up that money to take some bets on new fresh shows, can you get a better return in terms of viewership and revenue - and also a reputational boost for the channel?'
Meanwhile, more than one thousand whinges have been made about Z-List Celebrity Big Brother to the media watchdog Ofcom - after a mere five days of it being on-air. They relate to when contestant Rodrigo Alves used 'the N-word' in a conversation with another housemate. And, it was 'non-controversial' either. Some viewers suggested that Channel Five should have instantly removed Alves from the sick Victorian freak show for using the offensive word. Producers instead gave him 'a final warning' and said that if he repeated the language he would be evicted from the house. Ofcom said it has received one thousand and forty eighty whinges about the incident, which was shown on the second day of the current series of Z-List Celebrity Big Brother. Rodrigo used the word when describing what kind of partner he preferred. Ofcom is currently deciding whether action will be taken against Channel Five for its handling of the incident. 'We will assess these against the broadcasting code before deciding whether to take it forward for investigation,' it said in a statement. Some viewers have compared producers' response - or lack of it - to Rodrigo's language to that of Emily Parr, a contestant who was on the show 2007. She was removed five days into the programme after she used the same word in a conversation with housemates.
Like Charmed, Roswell and, possibly, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, another cult US noughties drama Veronica Mars could be about to be revived. The popular teen thriller has been the subject of revival-talk for close to a year, but Entertainment Weekly reports that creator Rob Thomas is now 'actively working on a deal' to make it happen. US streaming service Hulu is reported to be 'negotiating' with Thomas for an episodic series which will be a revival, not a reboot. Kristen Bell is expected to reprise her title role as the amateur detective should the series get the go-ahead, despite her commitment to her leading part in the third series of NBC's hit comedy series The Good Place. Bell first hinted that Veronica Mars revival efforts were taking place late last year, insisting at the time that any such project would not be crowd-sourced like the 2004 reunion movie which raised $5.7 million on Kickstarter. 'Personally - and I think that Rob probably agrees - (a) we'll never make the fans pay for it again and (b) the format works better as an episodic [series], where you get a little more of it,' the actress said last October. 'We want to do a miniseries. We are willing to put the effort in. I mean, if I have to do it as Murder, She Wrote at eighty, we're going to do it. It's going to happen.'Veronica Mars was originally broadcast in the US for two series on UPN and then moved to The CW for one final series before its cancellation in 2007.
Game Of Thrones will end in 2019, you might have heard about it, it's been in the papers and everything. To see it off, a Game Of Thrones-themed beer has been released which viewers can drink (probably whilst watching this favourite characters die one by one) during series eight. HBO has partnered with New York-based Brewery Ommegang to create the new beer called King in the North, according to the brewery's official website. 'Inspired by Jon Snow, this barrel-aged imperial stout is brewed to sustain a leader through a long, dark night,' Brewery Ommegang's website says. 'The beer pours jet black with a thick tan head and has aromas of roasted malt, coffee, and chocolate blend with those of oak, bourbon, and vanilla.'
Bad news for those who, having read the above, now really fancy a pint of King in the North. A large new global study published in The Lancet has confirmed previous research which has suggested that there is 'no safe level of alcohol consumption.' The researchers admit that moderate drinking 'may' protect against heart disease but found that the risk of cancer and other diseases outweighs these protections. A study author said that its findings were 'the most significant to date' because of the range of factors considered. The Global Burden of Disease study looked at levels of alcohol use and its health effects in one hundred and ninety five countries, including the UK, between 1990 and 2016. Analysing data from fifteen to ninety five-year-olds, the researchers compared people who did not drink at all with those who had one alcoholic drink a day. They found that out of one hundred thousand non-drinkers, nine hundred and fourteen would develop an alcohol-related health problem such as cancer or suffer an injury. But an extra four people would be affected if they drank one alcoholic drink a day. For people who had two alcoholic drinks a day, sixty three more developed a condition 'within a year' and for those who consumed five drinks every day, there was an increase of three hundred and thirty eight people, who developed a health problem. One of the study authors, Professor Sonia Saxena, a researcher at Imperial College London and a practising GP, said: 'One drink a day does represent a small increased risk, but adjust that to the UK population as a whole and it represents a far bigger number and most people are not drinking just one drink a day.' The lead author of the study Doctor Max Griswold, at the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, University of Washington, said: 'Previous studies have found a protective effect of alcohol on some conditions, but we found that the combined health risks associated with alcohol increases with any amount of alcohol. The strong association between alcohol consumption and the risk of cancer, injuries, and infectious diseases offset the protective effects for heart disease in our study. Although the health risks associated with alcohol start off being small with one drink a day, they then rise rapidly as people drink more.' Well, bummer.
Danny Boyle has dropped out of directing the next James Bond movie, blaming 'creative differences.' The Trainspotting director was due to take the director's chair for the twenty fifth outing in the franchise, with production scheduled to begin at Pinewood in early December. But a statement, posted on the official James Bond Twitter account, revealed on Tuesday that he had quit. It was announced by franchise producers Michael G Wilson and Barbara Broccoli and current lead actor, yer actual Daniel Craig. The as-yet untitled film - Craig's fifth time as Bond after Casino Royale, Quantum Of Solace, Skyfall and Spectre - had previously been given a provisional release date of 25 October 2019 in the UK although that now appears to be subject to change. Oscar-winning director Boyle was set to reunite with Craig, the pair having worked together on a short film - featuring Bond and the Queen - for the 2012 London Olympics. While it was to be Boyle's first Bond, Craig has previously said it will be his final appearance as 007. When it was announced in May - after months of speculation - that Boyle had been hired, Wilson and Broccoli, of EON Productions, said they were 'delighted' to have the 'exceptionally talented' director on board. Boyle was set to work alongside Trainspotting writer John Hodge, who was to create an original screenplay. It is not clear if Hodge is still involved in the project. A replacement for Boyle, who won the best director Oscar for Slumdog Millionaire, has yet to be announced. It is not the first time that creative differences have been blamed for a director's departure from a major franchise recently, with Solo losing both Phil Lord and Christopher Miller mid-production last year. Ron Howard eventually took over. In 2013, Boyle told BBC News that he 'wouldn't be the right kind of person' to take on a Bond movie. And, the previous year, when asked if he could direct a Bond film he replied: 'No, I'm not very good with huge amounts of money.'
Danny Dyer's eye-popping diatribe about Brexit on Good Evening Britain has been named the TV moment of the year at the Edinburgh TV Festival Awards. The EastEnders actor infamously ranted about former the Prime Minister - and oily scumbag - David Cameron on Good Morning Britain's live late-night spin-off show in June. Dyer hilariously accused Cameron of having 'his trotters up' in France while the country was left with 'the mad riddle' of Brexit.
The BBC's reporter James Cook had a lucky escape after a tree hit him as he delivered a radio report about Hurricane Lane in Hawaii. Luckily, Cook suffered no injuries, but his laptop was destroyed. You can listen to his - rather startled - report here.
President - and hairdo - Rump has responded to speculation that he might be impeached by warning that any such move would damage the US economy. In an interview with Fox & Friends, he claimed that the market would 'crash and everybody would be very poor.' Oh well, them's the breaks. He was speaking after Michael Cohen, his ex-lawyer, pleaded extremely guilty to violating election laws and claimed that he had been 'directed' to do so by Rump. The President - and hairdo - has rarely spoken about the prospect of being impeached. Correspondents suggest that it is 'unlikely' Rump's opponents would attempt to impeach him before November's mid-term elections. 'I don't know how you can impeach somebody who's done a great job,' Rump told Fox & Friends.
Regular listeners to From The North's favourite comedy podcast - Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson's Athletico Mince - will be well aware of the duo's obsession with The Hapless Steve McClaren. Not just his ridiculous 'hair island', 'clown car' and, ahem, interesting alleged domestic life with The Fat Lass and Casper The Snake, but also his membership of the British Managers Club and their cunning 'infiltrate, destroy and exit' policy. A policy which has previously served McClaren so very well at Derby County (twice), Nottingham Forest, this blogger beloved (though unsellable) Magpies and, most spectacularly, as alleged manager of England. It looks like we can now add Queens Park Strangers to that growing list as, just four games into his reign at Loftus Road, Hapless Steve is looking like a prime candidate for the first Championship managerial large-leaving-bonus 'victim' of the season. McClaren said that his side's calamitous seven-one defeat at West Bromwich Albinos last Saturday was 'unacceptable.' Strangers suffered their largest defeat for more than thirty years and their pants down spanking at The Hawthorns signalled their worst-ever start to a season. Having gone in level at half-time, the Strangers completely capitulated after the break, conceding six goals in just under forty minutes. 'I am shocked, I couldn't believe the collapse,' Hapless Steven told BBC 5Live after the defeat. 'It is unacceptable, we can't have that. It's unacceptable for the fans, it's unacceptable for the club.' He added: 'After conceding the third goal it was too much of a collapse, too much of a shock for myself and it must have been for everyone else. Goals change games but we can't react like that, I've never seen that, it's unacceptable and we mustn't let that happen again.' But, they did, just three days later. On Tuesday, Hapless Steve was insisting that he is still 'the right man' to lead the Strangers after he was mercilessly jeered by Strangers fans following a fourth successive Championship defeat, this time a three-nil hiding at home to Bristol City. The Strangers currently sit rock bottom of the table, still waiting to pick up their first point under Hapless Steve (and his hair island). 'I knew this was a tough job and it wouldn't happen overnight,' the fifty seven-year-old said, rather woefully, at a 'you could've heard a pin drop' press conference after the Bristol game. '[Being booed] is society now. It's the reaction and this is normal. The message to the supporters and it's a difficult one, is patience. Am I determined to put this right? Yes.' Whether Hapless Steve has the ability to do so or, even if he does, whether he will get the chance to before he gets handed his P45 (and a, presumably, quite significant termination pay out) is another matter entirely.
Crewe Alexandra's players will reportedly reimburse the cost of the tickets purchased by the one hundred and fifty three fans who travelled to Tuesday's six-nil defeat at Colchester United, according to manager David Artell. Crewe trailed two-nil inside eight minutes and undefeated Colchester went on to dominate the League Two game. 'The players will put their hands in their pockets, without a shadow of a doubt, because the fans deserve credit for coming all of this way and they don't deserve that,' Artell told BBC Radio Stoke. Artell's side won their opening game of the season six-nil at home to Morecambe on 4 August. Tuesday's loss left them with four points from their first four games.
Rochdale manager Keith Hill has told disgruntled fans who want to see him sacked to call the club's chairman Chris Dunphy and make their request. A foolish thing to say, one could suggest, since it's probably that many of them will, football fans being the bolshy type who really hate to be told what to do by someone who, through their continued patronage of the club, effectively pay the staff's wages. Hill said 'supporters have a choice' after Tuesday's four-nil defeat by Barnsley. 'If you are going to beat us with a stick, just phone the chairman and say you don't want Keith Hill to be the manager,' Hill told BBC Radio Manchester. 'That will be okay, I've got no problem with that whatsoever. I'm sure they would sack me.' Hill also said that fans 'have got to be supporting players better' after Harrison McGahey was the subject of mock applause after being taken off free-kick duties. 'Try to support the players, try to support the football club,' Hill said. 'When Harrison is taking a free-kick, something that he has been working on in pre-season and was delivered perfectly in the sessions and he gets them wrong and then there is a cheer when he is not taking it, that sort of thing really does wind me up. It's our fifth season is succession in League One and we have got to be supporting the players better than that.' Hill is currently in his second spell in charge of the club and led Rochdale to promotion to League One in his first full season back at the helm in 2013-14. He guided the club to top-ten finishes in three successive seasons in the third tier before they narrowly avoided relegation last term. Rochdale have won just one of their four league games to date this season and are eighteenth in the table with four points. Asked if he wants to remain in charge at Spotland, Hill replied: 'Not for people who don't respect me, that is the biggest thing. I've made sacrifices for this job and I really enjoy doing this job with this group of players, for the chairman, Bill Goodwin and the rest of the board of directors and all that work here.'
Footballers in Spain have 'not ruled out' strike action over a plan to stage a top-flight league match in the United States, says the players' union. Real Madrid's captain, Sergio Ramos and Barcelona vice-captain, Sergio Busquets were among the high-profile players to attend a meeting on Wednesday to discuss their 'concerns' over the issue. La Liga agreed a fifteen-year deal with US media company Relevent on Friday. The players' union - the AFE - says that its members were 'not consulted' by La Liga. Players from all of the La Liga sides met in Madrid on Wednesday to discuss the issue with AFE president David Aganzo. Among those in attendance were Ramos and Real Madrid team-mate Nacho, Barcelona duo Busquets and Sergi Roberto, Leo Baptistao from Espanyol, Bruno from Villarreal and Atletico Madrid players Koke and Juanfran. Aganzo said: 'The problem is the lack of common sense, a schedule where only the export of soccer benefits - nobody counts on the fans. We need to fix it with the bosses. The captains are outraged, they're against it, they are unanimous. It does not make sense. We are talking about an agreement that has a validity of fifteen years without consulting the players.' On the possibility of strike action, he added: 'We will try not to reach that extreme but we are willing to go to the end if necessary.' Aganzo said that the players would meet again in September. Asked last week when the US-based match would take place and whether it would be a regular fixture, La Liga told BBC Sport it 'cannot confirm the teams, match, date or season.' The AFE said players 'do not understand the unilateral decisions,' adding: 'La Liga is distancing the fans of the players, something that harms the show and the essence of football.' After the meeting the league said in a statement: 'La Liga will meet with AFE in the appropriate forum to discuss the plans to play a match outside of Spain.'
Three different players scored hat-tricks as Borussia Mönchengladbach thrashed fifth-tier Hastedt in the German Cup first round. Thorgan Hazard, debutant Alassane Pléa and Raffael scored three each, with Florian Neuhaus and Jonas Hofmann also scored in Gladbach's biggest ever cup win. Hastedt, who play in the local Bremen-Liga, scored the final goal of the game through Diyar Kücük. Earlier on Sunday, Cologne won nine-one at Berliner FC Dynamo. The German Cup first round traditionally pits smaller teams, often amateurs, at home to higher-ranked sides. On Saturday, holders Eintracht Frankfurt lost two-one at fourth-tier Ulm. For whom Johann Gambolputty De Von Ausfern Schplenden Schlitter Crasscrenbon Fried Digger Dingle Dangle Dongle Dungle Burstein Von Knacker Thrasher Apple Banger Horowitz Ticolensic Grander Knotty Spelltinkle Grandlich Grumblemeyer Spelterwasser Kurstlich Himbleeisen Bahnwagen Gutenabend Bitte Ein Nürnburger Bratwustle Gerspurten Mitz Weimache Luber Hundsfut Gumberaber Shönedanker Kalbsfleisch Mittler Aucher Von Hautkopft of Ulm did not feature. Which was probably just as well for the programme printers as they might have run out of ink. Bayern München needed a late goal from Robert Lewandowski to beat Drochtersen/Assel.
Hardcore fans of Lazio football club in Italy have circulated a letter saying women should be banned from part of the Curva Nord of Rome's Olympic Stadium. The Lazio ultras have gained a reputation for sick violence, racism and anti-Semitism. Before the first game of the season, an unofficial flyer was handed round saying the stand was 'a sacred place' where women were 'not allowed.' Lazio blamed 'a few fans. We are against any discrimination,' it claimed. Lazio spokesman Arturo Diaconale, quoted by Italian media, said 'we didn't know anything about this [flyer], it was an independent initiative by some of the Curva Nord fans. It's not the position of society. There is a huge number of Lazio fans, whereas this is an initiative from a few fans. We cannot always intervene to prevent politically incorrect demonstrations like this one.' The ultras' flyer said that women should 'go to other parts' of the stadium. The pamphlet called for 'women, wives and girlfriends' to avoid the first ten rows of the stand. 'Those who choose the stadium as an alternative to the carefree and romantic day at the Villa Borghese [a Roman historic house and park], should go to other parts,' it read. The flyer is signed 'Direttivo Diabolik Pluto,' who is one of the leaders of a group of Lazio ultras known as the Irreducibili. Last season the club was fined after supporters displayed anti-Semitic stickers showing Holocaust victim Anne Frank in a Roma shirt. A group of women fans from the Curva Nord, quoted by the Italian football website calcioweb.eu, expressed 'indignation' over the flyer. They said the Curva Nord had 'a sacred role' and 'we distance ourselves from those Lazio fans whose inappropriate behaviour lowers the Nord's value. And we distance ourselves from those whose gestures and words show they have forgotten that it was a woman who gave birth to them.' Carolina Morace, coach of the AC Milan Women's First Team, said those who wanted to ban women from the first ten rows of the Curva Nord'should be banned from the stadium. Sexism is also violence,' she said. Quoted by the daily Il Messaggero, she said 'some' social media comments on the Lazio controversy 'lead one to think that there is not the slightest respect for women, for sportswomen, for their passion. The football world must help to overcome all forms of discrimination, not to exacerbate them, as happens all too often: I will always fight to ensure that stadiums are hospitable to everyone.' Manila Nazzaro, a Lazio fan who was Miss Italia in 1999 and is now a well-known TV presenter, said that 'the rules of the pack' were 'common to all fans,' not just Lazio's. 'Some environments remain purely masculine, which men love to share with other men, just as there are some that women love to share with women.' She said that 'in the collective's ideal the Curva is purely masculine. When there were really ugly episodes like the Anne Frank stickers, I was the first to criticise. This time let's take it more lightly.'
Now, we don't often do plus for charideee on From The North, you may have noticed. However this blogger's old mucker, the very legend that is Mick Snowden, is doing a charideee walk shortly - one hundred kilometres (that's sixty two miles for those of you who never really got the metric system) trudging across a plethora of movie and TV locations between Eastbourne and Arundel. 'When we go past The Grand Hotel, Brighton, it's just like Quadraphenia ... only without the scooter budget,' adds Mick, helpfully. Sponsorship donations can be given here or, you can text MBHF50 followed by your donation, to 70070. It's all in aid of British Heart Foundation which is a fantastic cause, even if this blogger doesn't actually have a heart himself.
During England's recent, calamitous, defeat in the third test against India, Test Match Special's Jonathan Agnew read out a genuinely moving e-mail about how a fan of the programme spent the final hours of his life listening to its coverage of the test. It really is worth three minutes of your time, dear blog reader and can be heard here.
Scientists report that they have 'definitive evidence' for water-ice on the surface of the Moon. The ice deposits are found at both the North and South lunar poles and are likely to be 'ancient in origin.' The result comes from an instrument on India's Chandrayaan-One spacecraft, which explored the Moon between 2008 and 2009. Details of the work have been published in the journal Proceedings Of The National Academy Of Sciences. The distribution of the ice deposits is patchy. At the lunar South pole, most of the ice is concentrated in craters. At the Northern pole, the water-ice is both more sparse and more widely spread. The Moon Mineralogy Mapper instrument aboard Chandrayaan identified three specific signatures of water-ice at the lunar surface. M3 not only picked up the reflective properties one would expect from ice, but was able to directly measure the distinctive way its molecules absorb infrared light. This meant that it could differentiate between liquid water and vapour and solid ice. Temperatures on the Moon can reach a searing one hundred degrees Celsius in daytime, which doesn't provide the best conditions for the survival of surface ice. But because the Moon is tilted on its axis by about 1.54 degrees, there are places at the lunar poles that never see daylight. Scientists estimate that temperatures in permanently shadowed craters at the Moon's poles do not rise above minus one hundred and fifty seven degrees. This would create an environment where deposits of water-ice could remain stable for long periods. The result supports previous indirect detections of surface ice at the Moon's South pole. However, those results could potentially be explained by other phenomena - such as unusually reflective lunar soil. If there's enough ice sitting at the surface - within the top few millimetres - the water might be accessible as a resource for future human missions to the Moon. It could potentially be turned into drinking water for the occupants of a lunar base, or 'split' into hydrogen and oxygen for rocket fuel. The split oxygen could also be used by astronauts for breathing. Surface water ice has also been found on other Solar System bodies, such as at the North pole of the planet Mercury and on the dwarf planet Ceres.
Once upon a time, two early humans of different ancestry met at a cave in Russia. Some fifty thousand years later, scientists have confirmed that they had a daughter together. DNA extracted from bone fragments found in the cave show that the girl was the offspring of a Neanderthal mother and a Denisovan father. The discovery, reported in Nature, gives a rare insight into the lives of our closest ancient human relatives. Neanderthals and Denisovans were humans like us, but belonged to different species. 'We knew from previous studies that Neanderthals and Denisovans must have occasionally had children together,' says Viviane Slon, researcher at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany. 'But I never thought we would be so lucky as to find an actual offspring of the two groups.' Present-day, non-African humans have a small proportion of their DNA that comes from Neanderthals. Some other non-African populations, depending on where they live, also have a fraction of their DNA that comes from an Asian people known as Denisovans. The fact the genes have been passed down the generations shows that interbreeding must have happened. However, the only known site where fossil evidence of both Denisovans and Neanderthals has been found is at Denisova cave in the Altai Mountains of Siberia. And, very few - less than twenty - so-called 'archaic humans' (those belonging to species other than Homo Sapiens) have had their genomes sequenced. 'Out of this very little number we find one individual that has half-and-half mixed ancestry,' Doctor Slon told BBC News. When other studies are taken into account, 'you start to get a picture that over all of our evolutionary history humans always mixed with each other.' Neanderthals and Denisovans are known to have overlapped in time in Eurasia. The two groups lived until about forty thousand years ago; Neanderthals in the West and Denisovans in the East. As Neanderthals migrated Eastwards, they may have encountered Denisovans at times, as well as early modern humans. 'Neanderthals and Denisovans may not have had many opportunities to meet,' says Svante Pääbo, director of MPI-EVA. 'But when they did, they must have mated frequently - much more so than we previously thought.' The girl's story has been pieced together from a single fragment of bone found in the Denisova cave by Russian archaeologists several years ago. It was brought to Leipzig for genetic analysis. 'The fragment is part of a long bone and we can estimate that this individual was at least thirteen years old,' says Bence Viola of the University of Toronto. The researchers deduced that the girl's mother was 'genetically closer' to Neanderthals who lived in Western Europe than to a Neanderthal individual who lived earlier in Denisova Cave. This shows that Neanderthals migrated between Western and Eastern Europe and Asia tens of thousands of years before they died out. Genetic tests also revealed that the Denisovan father had at least one Neanderthal ancestor further back in his family tree.
A six foot albino corn snake has been handed in to police in Newcastle after a woman found it on a Quayside street. The passerby and her friend caught the animal in an alley off Dean Street and put it in a cardboard box, before handing it in to Forth Banks station. Officers have named the -entirely harmless to humans - snake 'Sandra' and it has since been collected by the RSPCA. A police spokesman said: 'Hopefully the RSPCA can find out where it came from and return the snake to its owners.'
New Zealand's minister for women cycled to hospital to give birth to her first child. The Green Party's Julie Genter said that she went by bicycle to be induced because 'there wasn't enough space in the car.' She posted pictures on Instagram of she and her partner enjoying 'the beautiful Sunday morning ride.' In June, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern became the second world leader to give birth whilst in office. Both she and Genter attended the public Auckland City Hospital. Genter, also the country's associate transport minister, is a well-known and outspoken cycling advocate. 'This is it, wish us luck!' she wrote to her followers, adding: 'My partner and I cycled because there wasn't enough room in the car for the support crew, but it also put me in the best possible mood!' The journey using an electric bike was 'mostly downhill,' the keen cyclist said. 'Probably should have cycled more in the last few weeks to get the labour going!' US-born Genter had previously announced her pregnancy on Instagram, saying: 'We're going to have to get an additional seat for the bikes.'
Large numbers of emus - thankfully without accompanying Rod Hulls - have reportedly been 'flocking to an outback mining town' in New South Wales as Australia continues to struggle with extreme drought. The flightless birds are desperately searching for food and water in Broken Hill, local animal rescue services say. 'They're actually walking down our main street. We're seeing mobs of them,' wildlife worker Emma Singleton said. Separately, the Australian Prime Minister has announced 'extra aid' for farmers hit by the drought. 'I want to say to our farmers, we have your back,' Malcolm Turnbull told reporters, as he announced an increase in funds to help deal with extreme aridity in New South Wales. Australia's most populous state, which produces about a quarter of the country's agricultural output, was officially declared entirely in drought on 8 August. In Broken Hill, around six hundred miles West of Sydney, groups of rampant emus have been seen 'running laps of the main street, eating gardens and gate crashing football matches,' ABC News reports. Well, you know, they're only human. Or, avian. Anyway, Singleton, who works for the Rescue and Rehabilitation of Australian Native Animals, said: 'We've had fourteen on a sporting oval. They've been out there for weeks - the locals in that area are giving them food and water.' She told ABC that her organisation had been averaging two or three calls from 'concerned residents' per day. According to Reuters news agency, five emus have been hit by cars in the past week alone. But Singleton said that their 'biggest concern' was possible dog attacks. Parts of New South Wales have had the lowest rainfall on record, with less than ten millimetres of rain recorded in some areas in July. As well as failing crops, farmers there have been struggling to feed and water livestock. Turnbull said some had spent as much as ten thousand Australian dollars per truckload of hay just to feed their animals. On Friday, a convoy of twenty three trucks carrying two thousand three hundred bales of hay for more than two hundred farmers arrived in New South Wales from Western Australia, some three-and-a-half thousand kilometres away. The problem is not confined to the state, with more than half of neighbouring Queensland in drought and parts of Victoria and South Australia also experiencing dry conditions. The dry spell has also led to dozens of unseasonal bushfires across New South Wales.
And, in other emu-related news, a stretch of the A1 motorway had to be closed for the second time in twenty four hours when, reportedly, 'an escaped emu got on to the road.' Again, thankfully, without Rod Hull in tow because that would've just been a right mess. A 'rolling road block' was put in place in County Durham between junctions fifty nine and sixty on Thursday while the bird's owner 'attempted to recapture it.' Bet that would've been worth watching. Referencing Michael Parkinson infamously being attacked by the TV puppet Emu, Highways England said: '1980's chat show hosts are advised to avoid the area.' The bird was captured shortly after.
A Scot accused of running a precious metals fraud scheme in the US has been placed on the FBI's 'most wanted' list. Glasgow-born James Ward is alleged to have offered investors bogus deals involving precious metals such as gold, silver and platinum. The FBI allege that he received about four hundred thousand dollars from at least twelve investors between September 2007 and March 2010. He went on the run after being charged in Florida with wire fraud in 2012. The FBI - who'd like to have a word with Ward over all this malarkey - states on its website: 'Ward allegedly operated an entity called Kastle & Hawk, Inc, which solicited investors to buy precious metals such as gold, silver, and platinum on a leveraged basis. Instead of investing the approximately four hundred thousand dollars Ward received from at least twelve investors, Ward allegedly used the money for his own personal use and benefit. No precious metals were ever acquired for investors.' The FBI lists Ward's occupation as 'securities broker.' It also describes him as blond but 'may change his hair colour frequently.' The agency added that Ward, who has previously lived in Miami Beach, may travel to the United Kingdom, Canada and Mexico.
Dozens attended a rally held by the Satanic Temple at the Arkansas State Capitol in Little Rock on Thursday. The rally comes after the Arkansas legislature approved the placement of a Ten Commandments monument on the Capitol grounds. During the Satanic Temple's Rally for the First Amendment, a more than eight-feet-tall Baphomet statue was unveiled. Those against the rally also attended, telling KATV they had 'hoped to spread God's love.'
Two English-speaking tourists who are being hunted by police for stripping off in a monumental Italian fountain have been called 'idiots' by the country's deputy Prime Minister. The men were filmed frolicking aboot in the bare in the fountain in Piazza Venezia in Rome, with one pulling down his underwear and posing for photographs with his dong hanging out. It was quite a sight. The footage has 'sparked outrage' - albeit not with anyone that actually, you know, matters - and their behaviour described as 'ignorant.' Which it probably is, but in the great scheme of things there are, surely, more important things to worry bout than this crap. Italian deputy PM, Matteo Salvini said: 'Italy is not their home bathroom.' The video, published on a blog in Rome, shows the pair in their underpants grinning and bathing in the fountain at the Altare della Patria, a monument in honour of the first king of Italy after the country's unification. The monument also holds the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, in memory of all fallen soldiers. The two men laugh and joke with each other in the water, before one pulls down his underwear and smiles for the camera. Some passers-by laugh and take photographs, although others can be seen shaking their head and appearing to tell the two men to get out of the fountain and, you know, grow the Hell up. The local police said that the incident, which occurred on Sunday, was 'illegal and offensive' and it was 'trying to find' the two men. It said the pair are 'foreign' and 'native English speakers.' Matteo Salvini tweeted: 'I will know how to educate these idiots if they are caught.' Meanwhile, Rome's deputy mayor, Luca Bergamo, said he 'condemns' such behaviour, which he said 'offends each of us, the memory of our country and the fallen, to whom the monument is dedicated. We are faced with a behaviour that denotes stupidity and ignorance, lack of respect for the history of Rome and Italy. Once identified by the local police, who is actively working to track them down, they will get the maximum punishment possible.' Earlier this month, the Gruniad Morning Star reported that a fight broke out between tourists as they queued for a 'perfect selfie' at Rome's Trevi Fountain.
Healthline has claimed that 'health disparities' and higher rates of HIV and STIs observed in the LGBTQIA communities are due to discrimination in the sex education world. So, the California-based health information provider has adopted the gender-inclusive term 'front hole' in place of the medical term, 'vagina' in their latest LGBTQIA safe sex guide. 'For the purpose of this guide, we'll refer to the vagina as the "front hole" instead of solely using the medical term "vagina,"' the document explained. 'This is gender-inclusive language that's considerate of the fact that some trans people don't identify with the labels the medical community attaches to their genitals. For example, some trans and nonbinary-identified people assigned female at birth may enjoy being the receptors of penetrative sex, but experience gender dysphoria when that part of their body is referred to using a word that society and professional communities often associate with femaleness. An alternative that’s becoming increasingly popular in trans and queer communities is front hole.' The document went on to claim, 'lack of representation and anti-LGBTQIA bias' in standard safe-sex guides 'stigmatises certain sexual behaviours and identities' and is 'directly related to higher rates of HIV and STIs' reported within LGBTQIA communities. However, three days later Healthline appeared to have amended the webpage and also issued a statement claiming that 'Some people are under the impression that Healthline is now using the term "front hole" instead of vagina. This is simply not true. In no instance in this guide are we saying we want to replace the word vagina,' the statement went on. 'Nothing in the article indicates we're endorsing a change in verbiage.' A notice added to the top of the section titled, Why we need an LGBTQIA-inclusive safe sex guide reads: 'We've updated this section to clarify how we use terms referring to genitals.'
From The North's Headline of the Week goes to the FOX News website for their hyperventilating Tennessee man arrested after throwing biscuit 'really hard' at ex-girlfriend's face, police say. This blogger thinks it's the addition of 'really hard' that makes it, you know, art.

'Doctor Who is getting ready to go all Hollywood with its next series, throwing in some huge CGI effects to propel new lead Jodie Whittaker to brave new worlds,'according to the Metro (if not to a real newspaper). Although details of the first female Doctor's reign at the helm of the TARDIS have been sparse (or, as the Metro add, 'basically non-existent'), new series director Jennifer Perrott has given fans a small hint of how the series is 'set to be a visual feast.' Speaking about one of the computer generated worlds the last of the Time Lords will inhabit in the new season, Jennifer said that things are 'about to get zany. I did have a zany action sequence in studio where we just had the actors, green screen and fans blowing their hair – the entire world around them will be created with visual effects,' she told Doctor Who magazine. 'I can't wait to see what those geniuses at [effects house] DNEG create for that.' Jennifer also revealed that she had binge-watched the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama in preparation for her work on the upcoming series. As a fan of the show as a child, especially Tom Baker's Doctor, she said that she had 'to go on a bit of a binge' to 'get the creative juices flowing' for her stint in the director's chair.
'Part of the joy of writing for Doctor Who is to try to surprise your audience, no matter what their age,' the novelist Malorie Blackman, who was revealed to be part of the new series' writing team alongside showrunner Chris Chibnall earlier this summer, told Doctor Who Magazine. 'I love unpredictability - where you introduce the unexpected, even into a story the audience may already think they know.' Dedicated Doctor Who fans who have read Blackman's 2013 short story The Ripple Effect, which introduced a universe filled with peaceful Daleks, may have already noted her intriguing approach to Doctor Who material. In the same interview, Blackman described her episode as 'heartfelt, thought-provoking and timely.' In a similar vein, Murdered By My Father scriptwriter Vinay Patel suggested that his episode might bring the series back to its roots, describing his tale as 'educational, epic [and] emotional.' However, if some fans are worried that the new series be entirely focused on teachable or serious issues, other writers suggested that this could be one of the most entertaining runs of Doctor Who yet, with Pete McTigh, Joy Wilkinson and Ed Hime describing their episodes as a 'creepy, fun, rollercoaster,''dark, funny, squelchy' and 'really rather spooky' respectively. The squelchy one sounds particularly intriguing. According to director Sallie Aprahamian, during the filming of one episode the crew had to deal with 'howling rain storms, snow, lots of mud and bright sunshine, sometimes within minutes of each other,' which disrupted production a significant amount. Other directors had more luck, however, with both Jennifer Perrott and Jamie Childs managing to dodge the worst of the apocalyptic weather. 'I have to say Wales never let me down. I don't think I got bad weather once, apart from the one time I wanted a specific type of "bad" weather and I got it,' Childs recalled.
The broadcast date of the new Doctor Who series continues to be the source of much hot and fevered speculation. Based on absolutely nothing whatsoever except, perhaps, a very literal take on the first day of Autumn, The Sunday Times recently claimed that Jodie Whittaker's debut would begin on Sunday 23 September. However, the recent - seemingly official - announcement by the BBC that the episode's press event will be held on 24 September and that these events usually take place around a fortnight prior to the series' TV debut, means that most informed speculation within fandom currently points towards a more likely broadcast date during the weekend of 6 and 7 October. Whether Doctor Who will be moving from Saturday evenings to Sundays, something which has been the focus of much debate since the Daily Mirraspeculated on it some months ago, remains to be seen - although this blogger certainly would not be surprised by such a change. Indeed, as the Digital Spy website's Morgan Jeffrey noted recently, it could well be the best thing that has happened to the series since it returned to TV in 2005.
Another thing fandom got very excited about this week was the publication on the National Library of Wales website of dozens of previously unseen location photographs from the 1967 Doctor Who story The Abominable Snowmen.
Titan Comics and BBC Studios have revealed launch details for the first issue of Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor. The new comic featuring Jodie Whittaker's Doctor will feature variants from leading artists including Babs Tarr, Sarah Graley, Katie Cook, Ariela Kristantina and Paulina Ganucheau.
From The North's recommended 'you really ought to give this article ten minutes of your time' award of the week goes to the very excellent Jenny Colgan's piece in the Grunaid Morning Star, The Bolshie, Brilliant History Of The Women Of Doctor Who. Check it out, dear blog readers, it will probably make your day.
Alleged - although, suspiciously anonymous - 'sources' have (allegedly) toldVariety that one of Jodie's TARDIS predecessors, yer actual Matt Smith, has joined the cast of Star Wars: Episode IX, which is currently in production in at Pinewood. If true it is, at this time, unknown whether Smudger's character will be on the side of the rebels or of the evil empire. Smudger would be joining returning cast members Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac and Adam Driver, as well as newcomers Keri Russell, his former Doctor Who castmate Richard E Grant, Dominic Monaghan and Naomi Ackie in the movie. Billy Dee Williams is reprising his role as Lando Calrissian and the late Carrie Fisher will feature as Leia in the final part of The Skywalker Saga, using previously unreleased footage shot for Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
It's a rather busy time for yer man Matt at the moment what with him just having completed his work on the second series of The Crown. He also recently appeared on Radio 4's long-running Desert Island Discs. The BBC website has produced a jolly helpful piece about eleven surprising things we learned from the broadcast. Albeit, it includes at least two completely unsurprising things for anyone that knows pretty much anything about Smudger's life; surely, everyone knows by now that Matt was a talented teenage footballer until a persistent back injury wrecked his dreams of Premiership glory and that, before being cast as The Doctor, he had never previously watched an episode of the BBC's popular family SF drama?
HBO unveiled a new trailer for many of its upcoming shows this week, from True Detective series three to Big Little Lies series two. And, hidden away among several shots of the last series of Game Of Thrones, at one minute and ten seconds in is one new clip featuring Jon Snow, Sansa Stark and a not-so warm embrace.
The BBC's latest drama, Bodyguard, debuted this week with largely positive reviews from the critics and a big thumbs-up from this blogger who thought the first two episodes (broadcast on Sunday and Bank Holiday Monday were great). Albeit, seemingly, not everyone was happy with it. And, the Daily Scum Mail also found something to whinge about. As usual. Richard Madden plays David Budd, a troubled war veteran with PTSD who is assigned to protect a controversial politician played by From The North favourite Keeley Hawes. The Daily Torygraph's Michael Hogan said it was 'riveting' and he 'had to remind myself to breathe. Starting with a suicide bomb attack and only becoming more breathless, this was edge-of-the-seat, shush-the-family fare.'Daily Scum Express critic Molli Mitchell also recalled the 'intense' opening scene and compared it to 'something like a Jason Bourne film.' She wrote: 'The opening scene of Bodyguard was all too real and the message all too familiar for a country whose terror level threat is currently at severe. Yet, the authenticity of the show is what makes it a truly terrorising thriller.' The Gruniad Morning Star's Lucy Mangan gave it five stars and wrote: 'The first twenty minutes of Bodyguard would be pure James Bond if it were not for the fear and doubt that convulse Budd when he is preparing to do his flinging or his saving. By the end of last night's opening episode, it was clear he has created something as dark and moreish as ever.' Morgan Jeffrey from the Digital Spy website saw rather less of Bond in the character of Budd: 'Commanding and powerful when the job requires it, but also painfully vulnerable behind the confident facade, Madden's Budd is no Superman: despite the sidearm and suit, there's very little of James Bond in this nuanced portrayal of a deeply troubled war veteran.'Metro's Sarah Deen suggested that the drama came 'at just the right time' and wrote: 'What makes Bodyguard so unsettling is that it's grounded in reality - events that take place could happen. Have happened.' She also had praise for the series' writer, Jed Mercurio: 'It's typical of Mercurio - long takes, close-ups of frantic expressions, silences saying more than words. And the horror, although it is averted, takes place on something as mundane as a train journey, something millions of us do every single day.' Hawes plays the ambitious and duplicitous Home Secretary, Julia Montague, who has very different views on war compared with Budd. However Heat magazine's Boyd Hilton points out that the drama is 'not making any political point. It's just set in that world of politics and this very interesting relationship between someone who has been in wars that politicians allow to happen and this particular politician herself.' Mercurio said that the idea for Bodyguard started out as a desire to set something within the political world. 'With my experience on Line Of Duty I was aware of the different specialisations within the police, so the idea of the specialist protection unit, which looks after politicians, diplomats and royalty, felt like a really good area in which to set the story.' The six-part drama debuted on BBC1 on Sunday night attracting an overnight audience of 6.7 million viewers - peaking at 6.9 million - making it one of the biggest TV drama launches of the year.
And, speaking of Line Of Duty, the popular police drama seems to have officially kicked off filming for series five. The cast, including Vicky McClure, Adrian Dunbar and Martin Compston have reunited for a group photo. Whilst most of the details on the next batch of episodes from Jed Mercurio are under wraps, one or two details have emerged. Most recently, Compston shared an image of the script's cover page, saying on Instagram: 'Even better on second read. Mister Mercurio has done it again. Gonna be some ride can't wait to pull the waistcoat on again.' He also revealed in May that filming would begin 'around September. Hopefully, I survive it, you never know,' he added. However, he also said that if Mercurio decided to kill off Steve Arnott, he would be 'gutted to go but you've got to trust [Jed].' There are also persistent rumours that Stephen Graham is being lined up as for series five, though this is yet to be confirmed.
ITV has announced a new three-part series from Doctor Foster writer Mike Bartlett. Directed by Julia Ford, The Man stars Ken Nwosu in the lead role of Thomas Benson. The psychological drama will explore 'the corrosive effects of bullying' and focuses on 'the competitive world of middle management.' Set in a business park in Reading, The Man follows 'the personal and professional life' of Thomas Benson (Nwosu) - a hardworking father and husband. Executive Producer, Catherine Oldfield, said: 'After the success of Trauma, I'm delighted to be reunited with Mike to work on The Man for ITV.'
Richard Gere and Helen McCrory are at the head of a crumbling media empire in the first look at the BBC's MotherFatherSon. New images of the BBC series offer a glimpse into the media conglomerate founded by the fictional self-made American magnate Max (Gere), who owns news outlets in London and around the world. Max is gearing up to hand over his empire to thirty-year-old son Caden (Billy Howle), but there's one thing standing in the way: Caden's self-destructive tendencies. Caden's downward spiral will reunite Max with his former wife, heiress Kathryn (McCrory), and uncover family secrets that should have definitely stayed buried. MotherFatherSon was created by novelist Tom Rob Smith, who recently transitioned to TV with BBC2's London Spy and The Assassination Of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. His impressive cast for MotherFatherSon includes Sarah Lancashire, Sinéad Cusack, Danny Sapani, Joseph Mawle and Pippa Bennett-Warner. The series will be Gere's first recurring TV role in over thirty years, with the actor recently saying: 'I'm so pleased to be working now with the BBC on this extraordinary eight-hour project with such talented people and which resonates so much to the time we live in.'
'From what I can eavesdrop on, a Russian sex-trafficking politician has been murdered in Vienna.''Oh, no.''I know, bummer.' The first trailer of the much-anticipated Killing Eve has appeared online. And, a second appeared soon afterwards. Killing Eve centres on two women, Eve (Sandra Oh) a bored, intelligent, pay-grade MI5 security officer whose desk-bound job doesn't fulfil her fantasies of being a spy and Villanelle (Jodie Comer) a mercurial, talented psychopathic killer who clings to the luxuries her violent job affords. Killing Eve, which also features The Bridge's Kim Bodnia, premiered on BBC America earlier this year and has garnered a huge following stateside. The drama, written by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, was nominated for several EMMY Awards and won the Television Critics Association Awards gong for Outstanding New Programme. It will be shown on the BBC soon(ish).
Lookers employees donned their flat caps in a Peaky Blinders-style tribute to the West Midlands as they completed the latest leg of their 'Electric Charge charity challenge' in aid of Ben. Participants in the carbon-neutral challenge, which will see a relay of electric and hybrid vehicles travel two thousand miles down the country to all one hundred and fifty four of the retailer's franchised dealerships, donned attire inspired by the hit BBC television series as they passed through the home of its infamous Shelby family. No one knows why.
Autumnwatch is moving across the Atlantic this year with a week of special reporting from New England. The BBC2 team will 'celebrate the golden landscape in the US region famous for its colourful autumn.' The week-long special will be broadcast in October, with filming taking place throughout New Hampshire. The programme will take a look at local wildlife as well as nature's impact on Native American culture. The series will be presented, as usual, by Chris Packham, Michaela Strachan and Gillian Burke. Each programme will be a mix of live pieces from a cabin studio on the shores of Squam Lake in New Hampshire and footage of wildlife captured in the run-up to winter. The series will be a co-production between the BBC and PBS in the US. Julian Hector, head of BBC Studios' natural history unit, said the show would 'bring the spectacle of the great American fall and the autumn animal characters to BBC Two audiences in an incredibly fresh and memorable way.'
Former-NCIS colleagues Michael Weatherly and Cote De Pablo are becoming executive producers on a new show. Titled MIA and being developed by CBS, their collaborative project will focus on 'a newly-minted homicide detective who gets assigned to a straight-edged partner in Miami.' One wonders who in the wide, wide world of sport those two parts could possibly be played by? However, whilst on duty, 'she struggles to hide the personal entanglements from a final undercover job and risks jeopardising her future.' According to TV Line, Weatherly and De Pablo - who portrayed the popular characters of Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David on NCIS - will be joined on the new series by Riverdale's Shepard Boucher, taking up writing responsibilities. A reunion between the NCIS performers has been rumoured in the past, with Bull star Weatherly previously revealing that he hoped to be working with De Pablo in the future. 'Whether or not it's in Bull or in some other iteration of an NCIS, I would say there's always the chance of [me reuniting with Cote],' he told the Digital Spy website. 'She's one of my favourite people. For eight years we got to have a lot of fun. Certainly, in terms of chemistry, I've never had anyone like that rattle my brain!' The fifty-year-old also shared an interest in returning to NCIS at some stage having left the long-running navy crime drama in, broadly, good terms two years ago. 'I absolutely see worlds where DiNozzo and other characters could pop up [again],' he said. 'It is something I'm very keen to explore when the time is right.'
BBC News is being 'unfairly attacked for bias' as Britain goes through 'the nastiest period in its national life since 1945,' according to John Simpson, its world affairs editor. And, frankly, it's about sodding time that someone at the Beeb had the courage to stand up to the crass and ignorant bullies on the left and the right of the political spectrum and told them to go fuck themselves. The seventy four-year-old journalist has said that he is 'fed up' with the complaints and whinges being directed at the corporation’s news output, which has been attacked by senior figures in the Conservative and Labour parties as well as campaigners on both sides of the Brexit debate. Simpson said that it was not just people on the political extremes accusing BBC News of bias but 'the middle-of-the-roaders. Maybe it's because they're so used to social media, and hearing only the kind of views they like, that they're enraged by having to listen to arguments they hate,' he told the Radio Times. 'At present it's Brexit. Before that it was Scottish independence. People have allowed themselves to be persuaded that there's something wrong with being given open and unbiased information from BBC journalists.' In July the two BBC broadcasts that received the most complaints were both items on Newsnight and related to allegations of political bias. A total of one hundred and seventy two whingers whinged that the programme's presenter should not have described Facebook facilitating illegal campaigning by Vote Leave during the referendum as an 'allegation' and one hundred and nine whingers thought its coverage of claims of antisemitism within Labour was 'biased against the party.''It is the broadcasters' job to give people the range of opinions they won't necessarily get in their newspapers,' Simpson said. 'And it's also our job to hold politicians' feet to the fire, whether they like it or not.' He said that he would like to see a fact-checking team attached to every news programme, to counter each false statement that is made. Will Moy, the director of fact-checking organisation Full Fact, gave qualified support to Simpson's view. He said that Full Fact had noticed people had become 'quicker to assume bad faith by the media,' as opposed to genuine errors. Politicians have also worked out that they can use social media to communicate directly with their constituents, which allows them to avoid their messages being interrogated and challenged. Moy added: 'The BBC is not perfect. There are reasonable criticisms to make, including that they don't have enough people who understand what is going on on Brexit, although that is true of all media. The more we throw mud at these institutions, the more we risk obscuring the value of their effort to be a neutral voice for all of us. They can get things wrong without compromising their underlying ethics.' Simpson's comments follow an argument between the Radio 4 Today programme presenter Nick Robinson and the LBC radio presenter and remain supporter James O'Brien. O'Brien said that impartiality in news coverage was 'all too often, in reality, bias,' since it required broadcasters to give 'false equivalence to those speaking objective truth and those making baseless assertions.' Robinson countered that to follow such logic would create the circumstances for a British version of FOX News, the overtly right-wing scumbag US network which presents pro-Trump opinion as 'fact.'
Witless, worthless blonde ... thing Holly Willoughby will replace Wor Geet Canny Ant McPartlin as the co-presenter on ITV's I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want) alongside Wor Geet Canny Declan Donnelly, as MacPartlin, following his drunk-driving conviction, takes time off to deal with an addiction to prescription drugs. Willoughby – who co-hosts This Morning, is one of ITV's biggest names (although Christ only knows why) and has known McPartlin since their days hosting children's TV - said that the move 'will not be permanent.' She added: 'I love Ant and want to send him my best wishes and support for a continued recovery. These are big shoes, not to fill, but just to keep warm for a little bit. I couldn't be more excited to have been asked to stand alongside Dec for the next jungle adventure.' Willoughby's absence from the This Morning sofa will force ITV to find a stand-in host to accompany Phillip Schofield on the daytime TV show. Oh, the manifest tragedy. ITV's director of programmes, Kevin Lygo, announced that McPartlin would be replaced while speaking last week at the Edinburgh TV festival and suggested that Piers Morgan or Jeremy Corbyn could step in. Wor Geet Canny Ant and Wor Geet Canny Dec have been stalwarts of ITV's light entertainment coverage for nearly two decades, graduating from a career in children's TV. But their careers have stalled recently as McPartlin struggled with addiction after the breakdown of his marriage and he announced he would be taking a break from presenting until 2019 after he convicted in April for drink-driving. Speaking about McPartlin in Edinburgh, Lygo added: 'The good news is that he's doing really well. He's doing everything he should be doing to get better. We collectively all thought, let's give him a good amount of time off. This is a slow procedure, that's what we've decided to do.' Willoughby was criticised earlier this year for appearing to gloss over McPartlin's conviction for drink-driving. While discussing the incident with the Gruniad Morning Star, she said: 'It's not something anybody should be talking about. Out of respect for him, I love him to bits, it's not something that I find very easy to talk about. Because it's a friend. His is not my story to tell. He's just got to look after himself, that's all.' Which is true. Although, not driving his car into other people's whilst over the legal limt would probably be a good start in looking after himself. And, indeed, others.
Meanwhile, dear blog reader ...
Though, not soon enough for this blogger's liking. Next ...

A teenager with dwarfism who was allegedly told he was 'a safety risk' for a catering course has been offered a job by Gordon Ramsay. Louis Makepeace, aged eighteen, claims that bosses at the Heart of Worcestershire College 'discriminated' against him after being ruled out of the field due to his size. The aspiring chef said that he was 'appalled' by their actions. The college told the BBC 'at no point has Louis been told he could not attend his course,' which begins next month. One or two people even believed them. However, it confirmed 'adjustments Louis requires will need to be agreed before an unconditional offer can be given.' Ramsay blasted (that's tabloidese for 'criticised' only with less syllables) the college for 'a disgusting attitude' and said that he would 'offer [Louis] an apprenticeship any day.' A spokesperson for Ramsay subsequently confirmed that Ramsey's tweet was a formal offer of work. 'Gordon's tweet was a genuine offer of help for Louis Makepeace, should he wish to pursue his cooking career within the Gordon Ramsay Restaurants chef apprentice programme,' the spokesperson said. She added that the star of the Kitchen Nightmares and F Word TV shows had 'supported and mentored hundreds of young chefs throughout his career and strongly believes no one should be discriminated against in the workplace due to a disability.' Louis, from Worcester, said that he was 'initially offered a conditional place' for the hospitality and catering course earlier this month, but claims that the college then 'backtracked' because he was deemed 'too small for the kitchen.' His mother Pauline, claimed that the course leader told her Louis should not do the course as he 'would not be allowed to work in a restaurant kitchen.' Louis said: 'I wanted to learn the skill, but I'm appalled by the way this has been handled by the college. I'm not sure I would want to study at the college now, as they've messed me about and dragged it out for too long. I still want to cook and one day open my own cafe or restaurant.' He added: 'I'm excited by Gordon Ramsey's offer on Twitter. Let's see what happens.' The Heart of Worcestershire College weaselled in a statement: 'The college has undertaken a review process to ensure all the appropriate adjustments to the kitchens that Louis needs to allow him to safely and successfully commence his course, and to ensure his needs are met throughout his time at college are in place. Due to the timing of Louis' application, this process is still ongoing and after further discussions, we hope to have a final outcome by the end of this week.'
Neil Young and Daryl Hannah had love to burn over the weekend. According to the Daily Mirra, the longtime couple reportedly got married in 'a small ceremony with close friends' on Saturday in Atascadero, California, which followed an earlier ceremony off the Sun Juan islands aboard Young's yacht. Young's guitarist, Mark Miller, confirmed the news on Facebook, writing: 'Congratulations to Daryl Hannah and Neil Young on their wedding today,' even later adding: 'I only knew about it because one of my friends attended the ceremony in Atascadero and announced it on his page.' The couple have been dating since 2014, around the time that Neil divorced Pegi Young, his wife of thirty six years. Earlier this year, Hannah directed Young in the Netflix film, Paradox.
Interestingly, this news comes eight days into yer actual Keith Telly Topping's current 'this month, I shall be mostly listening to Neil Young' phase - having previously done a month of Elvis Costello, a month of Bob Dylan and a month of The Be-Atles (a popular beat-combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them).
And, speaking of Bob Dylan ... Oooo, want one!
Boxer Curtis Harper has been heavily criticised by his trainer for leaving the ring after the opening bell of a heavyweight bout in protest over pay. The thirty-year-old American stroppily walked out of the arena when the bell sounded for his bout against Efe Ajagba of Nigeria in Minneapolis. Trainer Nate Campbell said that he was 'embarrassed' by his fighter's move. 'This man disrespected himself, his wife, the fans and me,' Campbell posted on social media. Journalist Jordan Hardy - who works for Premier Boxing Champions, which was broadcasting the fight - said that Harper told her the walkout was 'because of money. He walked out of the ring because he's not getting paid enough to fight and that he wants respect,' she wrote on social media. Promoter Leon Margules told the BBC Sport website that organisers 'had no idea' of Harper's plan before the bout and confirmed the fighter received no payment as a result. 'He signed a contract and agreed to the fight,' said Margules. 'First time we heard about money issues was after he left the ring. He weighed in and showed up on time and even touched gloves before the bell. It is strange. If he didn't like the deal, why did he accept the fight and money?' Harper had reached the bottom of the steps at the side of the ring with just five seconds gone in the round. Fans began booing as he made his way along the walkway out of the ring and officials disqualified him at the one-second mark of the first round. Harper now holds a record of six defeats and thirteen wins, while Ajagba, has six wins from six, including five knockouts. And, now, a 'surrender before kick-off.'
An undercover investigation that led to odious Sam Allardyce's exit as England manager after sixty seven days was justified in the public interest, a report has found. Allardyce left the England job in 2016 after the Daily Torygraph claimed he told reporters posing as businessmen how to 'get around' player transfer rules. The sixty three-year-old lodged twenty five whinges about the story with the Independent Press Standards Organisation. IPSO found in the paper's favour on twenty two of those points. Allardyce whinged that the 'level of subterfuge' employed by the newspaper in its 'Football for Sale' investigation had been 'unjustified' and that it had published its findings 'in an inaccurate and misleading way.' The former West Hamsters United, Blackburn Vindaloos, Blunderland and Everton manager also claimed that the Football Association was 'too hasty' in deciding he had breached his contract and that 'entrapment won.' Which might've been true, but, it was also pure dead funny. In a statement on Wednesday night, Allardyce said: 'Had the FA stuck to their word and waited to see the Telegraph's evidence (as they originally told me they would) they would have seen the allegations made against me were false. It was of course the allegations about third-party ownership that the FA stated were the reasons for my leaving.' IPSO's complaints committee found that the Torygraph's coverage was 'generally accurate' but that the paper had breached the Editors' Code on three specific points. Allardyce was being filmed as part of a ten-month Torygraph investigation that separately unearthed evidence of bribery and corruption in British football. Of the three complaints upheld by IPSO, one related to a suggestion that Allardyce had 'implied' third parties 'could benefit from transfer fees,' which was not true and two wrongly implied Allardyce had offered to tell the Torygraph's reporters how to break ownership rules. The Torygraph published a correction on Thursday. In very small letters on page twenty seven. Probably. However, IPSO ultimately ruled that the Torygraph's use of subterfuge was 'justified'and 'ni the public interest.' In September 2016, Allardyce was filmed telling undercover reporters that it was 'not a problem' to bypass rules on third-party player ownership and claimed that he 'knew of agents' who were 'doing it all the time.' Third-party ownership - when someone other than the buying and selling club owns a stake in a player, typically an investor - has been banned by the Football Association and world football's governing body FIFA. It is a practice which has been described as 'a form of slavery' by Michel Platini, the (disgraced) former president of European football's governing body UEFA. The Torygraph investigation claimed that a four hundred thousand smackers 'deal' was struck for Allardyce to represent the Far East organisation for which the reporters claimed to work and to be a keynote speaker at events. Allardyce, though, stressed to the reporters that he would first have to 'run that by' his employers at the time, the FA. Allardyce also made fun of his predecessor as England manager Roy Hodgson's speech by referring to him as 'Woy', as well as criticising Gary Neville, one of Hodgson's assistants and making comments about FA president Prince William. He described another member of the Royal Family, Prince Harry, as 'a naughty boy.' Still, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
In an interesting article on the BBC Sport website, Ciaran Varley asks the question Does football have a gambling problem?'The names of bookmakers and online casinos are all over shirt sponsors, stadium names and TV ads. We've looked into football's relationship with gambling.' To which this blogger can only observe that, given that every single player in the second, third and fourth tiers of English football is currently running around with the words 'Sky Bet' emblazoned on their shirts, From The North reckons the answer to that question is 'Christ, yes.'
It is not unheard of for players to be suspended for head-butting, drop-kicking fans, or even biting and opponent - if you're Luis Suarez. But, being suspended for 'blasphemous remarks' might be a first. Former Juventus midfielder Rolando Mandragora has been suspended for one Serie A game after he was caught on television cameras shouting 'Porca Madonna, Vaffanculo, Dio Cane, an insult to the Virgin Mary, while also referring to God as 'a dog.' So, he's also been suspended for making up a conundrum, seemingly. Countdown contestants, beware. The outburst from the international came after Sampdoria goalkeeper Emil Eudero saved his shot in a game which Mandragora's side, Udinese, won one-nil. The remarks initially went unnoticed by officials during the match, but the Lega Serie A - the competition's governing body - later took the incident to review and suspended the twenty one-year-old. 'After acquiring and examining the relevant television images, the player, while cursing without referring to anybody around him, was nevertheless clearly seen by the television images to make blasphemous remarks, visibly identifiable from reading his lips without any margin for reasonable doubt,' a disciplinary report from the Lega Serie A said. Mandragora, who won the Serie A and Italian Cup with Juve in 2017, has spent last season on loan to Crotone before signing for Udinese last month. He has one cap for Italy. 'Mandragora is a good person, the most he deserved was a warning,' said Udinese coach Daniele Prade. There is a strict ban on taking God's name in vain in Italy and, since 2010, the country's football association has disciplined players and coaches heard doing so. Former Juve captain Gianluigi Buffon has been forced to apologise in the past for uttering the word 'Dio' (God). Although, he did once claim that he had in fact said 'Zio' - which means uncle. One or two people - including his uncle - believed him. 'I apologise. If one day I will have the good fortune to meet God, he will be the one to decide whether to forgive me,' Buffon said at the time. Two years ago, Italy's rugby captain Sergio Parisse was also forced to apologise after being filmed uttering a blasphemous phrase before a Six Nations game against France. And, according to the Italian FA's rules, players who wear t-shirts with personal messages to their family, or which make a reference to their religious beliefs, will also be punished. It is not unusual for European countries have blasphemy laws on the statute book, but it is rare that they are invoked.
The Copa Libertadores second-leg game between Santos of Brazil and Independiente of Argentina was abandoned after police clashed with the home crowd - who had been told shortly before kick-off that rather than being level on aggregate they were actually three-nil down. Santos fans at the Pacaembu Stadium in Sao Paulo got all stroppy and discombobulated and began throwing missiles at the Independiente bench and on to the pitch with eight minutes of the game to go and the score nil-nil on the night. Many others then stormed the perimeter fence, where police used batons to beat them back. Police then used percussion grenades as some fans climbed over the barriers to get on to the pitch. About forty five thousand Santos fans had bought tickets to the game in hopes of a victory in South America's top club competition after they drew the first leg in Buenos Aires. But twelve hours before the game started, officials at CONMEBOL - the organisation that runs football on the continent - changed that result to a three-nil win to Independiente. It made the decision after its records revealed Santos' Uruguay international Carlos Sanchez had not served the entirety of a ban in the competition handed out three years previously, when he got a red card while playing for River Plate. Santos pointed out they had checked CONMEBOL's own online system beforehand and it had revealed 'no outstanding bans.' Although Santos appealed, the three-nil result was upheld. With the second game abandoned with no change in that overall score, Independiente qualified for the quarter-finals. Leadership in South American football has been severely weakened since the 2015 FIFA scandal, which brought down so many of the leaders at the top of football in the continent. Sao Paulo is the richest and most powerful state in Brazil - fans there will be absolutely foaming at the mouth. This is the club at which Pele made his name; Neymar started there too. Brazilian clubs have often felt that CONMEBOL is against them and this fiasco will have only made that feeling stronger.
Non-league side Litherland Remyca have been thrown out of this year's FA Cup over an unpaid ten knicker fine. The Merseyside club unwittingly fielded a suspended player in the four-two win over Charnock Richard in the extra-preliminary round on 11 August. The player's one-match ban for not paying an 'administrative' fine at his previous club was carried over from last season. Litherland said it is 'a massive blow with numerous implications.' A club statement read: 'The sanctions for a minor administration technicality are considerable, but we must dust ourselves down, learn from the experience and come back stronger.' Charnock have been reinstated and will face Leek Town in the preliminary round on 4 September. Litherland, who play in the North West Counties League Premier Division, beat local rivals AFC Liverpool two-nil in front of the BBC cameras last season.
This winner of this week's From The North headline of the week award, obviously, goes to BBC News for Brest Frisky Dolphin Sparks French Swimming Ban.
A woman claims she was 'deceived' into marrying a stranger in a 'mock wedding' in China. The twenty one-year-old unidentified woman, from Hong Kong, claimed that she was 'asked to play a bride' in a mock wedding as 'part of training' in order to become a wedding planner, the BBC reported. The woman originally signed up to be a make-up artist after seeing a post on Facebook. However, she was 'convinced' by the firm to become a wedding planner instead because she 'could make more money.' She received a week of free training in Hong Kong before travelling to the Chinese province of Fujian for the alleged 'mock wedding.' However, as the simulated wedding went on, she and the groom signed a real marriage document. She was told by the company that the marriage would be 'voided', the South China Morning Post reported. The woman did not realise that she was married until she returned to Hong Kong and sought legal help. 'It's a new form of marriage scam,' Tong Kamgyiu, the director of the Rights & Benefits Committee of the Hong Kong Federation of Trade Unions, told the BBC. 'I feel disappointed and cannot believe it's even happening in modern Hong Kong.' It was not immediately clear to whom the woman was married but she may have to 'apply for a divorce.' Each year, an average of one thousand Hong Kong-China marriage scam cases occur, according to the outlet.
A human body with no head or hands was found in a fish tank at the home of a man who had been missing for two months, police said. The corpse was found when officers raided Brian Egg's San Francisco house, weeks after neighbours first raised the alarm about his disappearance. Residents of his street told local media that they last saw the sixty five-year-old on his daily walk with his dog Lucky in early June. Police first visited Egg's house in July after neighbours grew concerned. They spoke to a man who claimed to live there and said Egg was 'on holiday,' a story that the officers appeared to accept. But, earlier this month, Egg's neighbour, Scott Free, called police again after seeing a private crime-scene clean-up crew turn up at Egg's house. This time police officers searched the house and found the corpse in the fish tank, alleged 'sources with knowledge of the investigation' allegedly told the San Francisco Chronicle. 'It's horrifying,' Free told the newspaper. 'A dead body was in the house this entire time.' Police have yet to identify whether the body is Egg as the remains are 'so badly decomposed that even the sex is unclear.' The city's Medical Examiner is working to establish a cause of death. Although, having his head cut off probably didn't matters.
A group of undercover Detroit police posing as drug dealers reportedly tried to arrest another group of undercover police posing as drug buyers in a mishap which resulted in a brawl between more than two dozen armed officers. 'This is probably one of the most embarrassing things I've seen in this department,' Detroit Police Chief James Craig said on Monday, according to the Detroit Free Press. The incident occurred on 9 November last year when two officers from Detroit's Twelfth Precinct were posing as drug dealers in order to arrest buyers, according to WJBK-TV. Two buyers did subsequently arrive at the drug house, but they were also undercover police officers from Detroit's Eleventh district. The officers reportedly did not know each other. More officers from the Eleventh district arrived to serve a search warrant and 'that's when it started to go terribly wrong,' Craig said. Body camera footage obtained by WXYZ-TV showed the two groups of police officers yelling, shoving and throwing punches at each other. 'They appeared to be like Keystone cops,' Craig said. He added that an internal investigation has been launched to understand how the two precincts made the potentially fatal mistake.
It's not unusual for restaurant customers to be disappointed when a particularly beloved food item is changed or removed from the menu altogether. Last month, for example, Costco fans complained about the demise of the popular Polish hot-dog. But, when the owners of a restaurant in Maine tried to amend their french fries recently, some people absolutely lost their shit. Things became so hostile that the restaurateurs even received violent threats from customers. Bolley's Famous Franks in Waterville, is a hot dog eatery which has been a family-run business since the 1960s. Owners Jim and Leslie Parsons, who took over the business in 2017, recently ditched their crinkle-cut french fries, which had been on the menu for many years. They replaced them with straight-cut fries. The chips are still hand-cut daily from local Maine potatoes and fried up in sizzling canola oil, the Parsons told TODAY Food. Nothing else changed about the recipe except the way in which they were cut. But a lot of patrons just weren't having it. Ooo, geet vexed so they were. Getting their mad-up and all sorts. Customers whinged about the savoury swap 'using foul language and even threatened to harm' the Parsons' family. 'There was quite a bit of negativity from a few grumbling people who we had to escort out of our business, because they were too rowdy,' Bolley's co-owner Leslie Parsons told TODAY Food. It caused such a stir that the couple put up a post on the restaurant's Facebook page and wrote that the 'unpleasant behaviour' would 'not be tolerated' at the eatery.
Thieves in Paraguay have stolen forty two powerful rifles from the police armoury. During an inspection, officers found that the FN-FAL battle rifles had been stolen and replaced with wooden and plastic replicas. Which, obviously, are a bit less effective when you fire them. The inspection had been ordered after the rifles started appearing a year ago on the black market, where they can fetch up to ten thousand bucks. The rifles had been put into storage but were 'still in working order.' Some of them are thought to have ended up in Argentina while others are believed to have been smuggled to Brazil. Neighbouring Brazil has long complained that many of the illegal weapons seized there have been smuggled into the country from Paraguay. Paraguayan media posted photos of the replicas and called it the 'most embarrassing scandal' in the history of the country's police force. They had been taken to the armoury in the city of Capiatá as the police force was replacing them with newer models. When the rifles first started appearing on the black market, the military ordered an investigation. They honed in on the police armoury and a search revealed the toy rifles. The police officer in charge of the armoury has been extremely replaced but no arrests have so far been made.
Two North Carolina women have been very jailed on child abuse charges after a Snapchat video appeared to show three small children smoking what seemed to be a marijuana joint. Police in Winston-Salem arrested Michaela Pearson and Candice Little in connection with the video. Both defendants are currently locked up in the slammer in lieu of a one hundred and fifty thousand dollar bond after being charged with three counts of felony child abuse and three counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanour. In the video, Pearson is seen handing the cigarette to the children. Little apparently recorded the children smoking and posted the video to her Snapchat page. Police have not said what the relationship of the children is to either Pearson or Little. On the video, Pearson can he heard asking the children, 'Which one of you want to hit this?' After one toddler exhales smoke from his nose, Pearson and Little laugh. Pearson and Little were arrested hours after the video began going viral on Facebook. The women were taken into custody at a University Inn & Suites hotel, where cops found drug paraphernalia in the room occupied by the pair. The children, police reported, were 'taken to a local hospital for medical treatment where they remain for observation.'
A Kentucky man is reportedly facing charges after police said he faked a heart attack. The Knox County Sheriff's Department responded to a reported theft at a home in Corbin. Deputies said that Kenneth Ray Couch stole a handgun from the home. While tracking down Couch, deputies learned that he had been picked up by an ambulance at Dixon's market after faking a heart attack. When the ambulance arrived at Baptist Health Corbin, authorities claimed that Couch got out and walked to the cafeteria. He was still there when deputies arrived to arrest his ass. Couch faces charges of first-degree burglary and falsely reporting an incident. He was also wanted in Caldwell County for failure to appear on two counts of theft by deception using cold checks.
In an incident that a Kentucky man 'blames on methamphetamine,' the man's cousin allegedly tried to steal various seemingly random items, including a cheese grater, an empty bottle of Lysol and some soap. Neighbours informed Mason Tackett that his cousin, Phillip Hagans, had been seen carrying items out of his house, but the items weren't the typical targets of a would-be burglar. 'Who steals a cheese grater? He's got the works. Lysol – he stole the empty bottle of spray. What got me the most was my soap. He stole my soap. Who steals soap?' Tackett asked, angrily. After his neighbours' warnings, Tackett headed home to confront his thieving cousin. 'When I finally got down there to the house to look and see what happened, the door was standing wide open. It looked like he was packing up for a yard sale when he come out,' Tackett said. The confrontation 'took a dangerous turn' once Tackett found items belonging to him. 'He was lying, throwing his hands, saying stuff like, "I didn't do it. I didn't do it.' You know, how rogues do and blame it on everybody else,' Tackett said. 'He did pull a gun on me when I got back around the house because I guess he thought I was upset with him.' After being reported to the fuzz, Hagans has been charged with receiving stolen property and being a convicted felon with a firearm.
The Louisiana Office of State Fire Marshal has arrested a Denham Springs woman for setting her couch on fire to 'get the devil out.' JoLynn Winn was booked into the Livingston Parish jail on Friday on one count of arson. Officials said firefighters found Winn at the scene 'suffering from smoke inhalation.' Officials added that Winn told firefighters she had set the couch on fire 'to get the devil out.' Investigators found fire damage in the trailer's living room and determined that the fire started because of the burning couch. Winn was very arrested after she was released from the hospital. Officials said Winn confessed to setting the fire.
A Scotland Yard officer took to Twitter to tell everyone how he arrested a woman at Notting Hill Carnival after she slapped him on the bottom. And, how it made him feel like a man. Inspector Owen Pyle of Southwark police told of his 'ordeal' online following the incident. He said: 'While dealing with an incident at Carnival yesterday a woman thought it'd be funny to slap my bum. She soon regretted it when I arrested her. I don't come to work to be sexually assaulted while doing my job. That kind of behaviour is unacceptable.' When asked by someone if the woman was apologetic afterwards, he said: 'Not initially. Only when she was arrested and escorted away from Carnival.'
The Delhi Police reportedly arrested a woman for allegedly 'creating a ruckus' after being asked by security personnel at the airport to remove power bank from her baggage, a senior police officer said. The woman allegedly got into a geet stroppy huff and threw the power bank on the floor which 'triggered a small blast,' he added. She was arrested yesterday from the airport and later released on bail. Alleged - although anonymous and, therefore, almost certainly fictitious - 'sources' alleged claimed that woman is 'an actress' but the police officials said that they were 'not sure' about what she did for a living.
An Oregon woman is in jail after allegedly attempting to hit a pedestrian with her 2005 Pontiac Grand Am. When deputies from the Baker County Sheriff's Office arrived at the scene of the incident, witnesses advised that a red passenger car attempted to hit Lacey Kolb, aged thirty seven, as she was walking on the street. Kolb avoided being hit by 'taking cover behind several abandoned camp trailers and cars.' Deputies subsequently contacted Susan Graves in the parking lot of a T & T Country Store. Graves was extremely arrested and charged with first degree attempted assault, reckless driving and endangering and 'interfering with a peace officer.'
Police in Majorca have arrested a thirty eight-year-old woman who allegedly forced her sister to live and sleep in the staircase landing of their block of flats for two months. Police reportedly received a warning from the siblings' brother on Sunday 'alerting them of the situation.' The man informed Balearic authorities that his 'homeless' sister had been locked out of the flat she shared with their older sister, following 'a big family dispute' two months earlier. Unable to get into their shared home, the sister decided instead to camp out on the staircase landing, despite it being used by all the building's residents to access their flats. Police who arrived at the scene confirmed that one of the sisters had made a home out of the shared space; her belongings and toiletries lying scattered across the floor. The woman informed the agents that her sister had stolen her keys two months earlier and she'd had 'no other choice' but to sleep on the cold landing floor ever since, Spanish radio station Cadena Ser reported. Police then proceeded to arrest her sister, who defended her move by arguing that her sibling 'caused too much trouble.'
A man dressed in a women's clothing and a wig was extremely arrested after Greenville Police say he recorded a woman in the bathroom from an adjacent stall. According to police, thirty eight-year-old Shawn Thomas Hallett, from Texas, has been charged with Voyeurism after he recorded video of at least one woman in the bathroom a QuikTrip stroe. The victim told officers that she entered the store's bathroom, knocked on a stall door and heard a male voice respond but looked down to see 'female shoes,' so she used the adjacent stall. The victim told officers she saw a cell phone appear under the stall wall next to her so she left and alerted police. Investigators say they found video of the victim on Hallett's phone. He was arrested and his phone was seized.
Indonesia's largest Islamic bodies have denounced the jailing of a Buddhist woman in Sumatra, after she complained about the volume of the adzan, or call to prayer, from her local mosque. The Medan district court sentenced Meiliana, a forty four-year-old ethnic Chinese Buddhist, to eighteen months in jail after she reportedly asked the mosque to turn it down. The conviction under Indonesia's controversial blasphemy law has been criticised by rights groups, with senior figures from Indonesia's two largest Islamic bodies backing them. 'I do not see how saying "adzan is too loud" is an expression of hatred of hostility toward a particular group or religion,' said Robikin Emhas, head of Nahdlatul Ulama legal division. Robikin urged authorities to refrain from using blasphemy laws as 'an instrument to suppress freedom of expression' and said that Indonesian Muslims should take such opinions as 'constructive criticism.' Critics argue that Indonesia's blasphemy law is being used to 'arbitrarily attack minorities.' Amnesty International Indonesia described the court decision as 'ludicrous.' Meiliana's comments, made in July 2016, triggered an anti-Chinese riot in which several Buddhist temples were burned. Critics of her sentence have pointed out that those tried for damaging the temples were only given several months in prison while others were released.
The highly-respected Production Designer Michael Pickwoad has died at the age of seventy three. BAFTA-nominated, Michael joined the Doctor Who team in 2010, taking over from Edward Thomas and marking the first new Production Designer since Rose. Throughout his time on the show he worked across five series, eight Christmas Specials and the fiftieth anniversary special, The Day Of The Doctor, designing seventy one episodes in total. His unique artistic style was felt from his very first episode, the Dickens' inspired A Christmas Carol, all the way through to Peter Capaldi's final episode in 2017. Steven Moffat, who worked closely with Michael said: 'The first time I met Michael Pickwoad properly, I laughed and you probably would have too. We were both heading to Michael's first Doctor Who tone meeting and he'd arrived wearing a tweed jacket and a bow tie. "In costume, I see!" I said. He gave me a bemused smile (I'd get very used to that smile) and we went into a dull white room and discussed flying sharks and cryo-pods for the Doctor Who Christmas special. Some time during the meeting, it occurred to me that Michael hadn't understood why I'd laughed and the more I listened to him talking the clearer it became that he wasn't in costume at all: I was dealing with a designer who dressed exactly like [The Doctor] by accident. Clearly, this man was born for this show. I've never been more right. It wasn't just the outfit either. Never have I met a man with such fund of knowledge, about ... well, everything. If there's a university somewhere that confers degrees in Everything, then that's the one Michael got. Every tone meeting, without exception, yet another nugget of learning would emerge. He was never showing off, of course, never parading his learning - just off-handedly mentioning another arcane branch of knowledge he happened to have mastered. Submarines! Roman Centurians! The interior stairs of large chimneys over history. Once, during the Tone for The Magician's Apprentice, he looked up from the script with that gentle frown which meant he had a question. It was the scene where Peter Capaldi's Doctor rolled into a castle courtyard on a tank, playing an electric guitar. Now, you might think he was worried about creating an entire castle courtyard for what was, in all honesty, one gag, but no. His question was: "Are you sure you mean a Centurian tank? They're the trickiest to drive!""How many lives has he led?" I asked Brian Minchin, my co-exec, as we left the meeting. I'm still learning from him this morning, as I type this. I looked up some old interviews with him and found this gem: "A production designer should think like a director and behave like a producer." Well that's it exactly, of course - a typical piece of Pickwoad wisdom (I imagine his next sentence would have been about the correcting weighting of duelling pistols, or which sea has the most fish). He had exquisite visual sense, of course, but like a director he always saw everything through the lens. It didn't matter how it looked in the studio, it mattered how it looked on the screen. He nailed that every time. And yes, he behaved like a producer. Doctor Who never had the movie-scale budget it needed and our secret weapon for hiding that was Michael Pickwoad. In no time flat, with next to no money, he gave us arctic vistas, Viking villages, the Sheriff of Nottingham’s castle, any number of spaceships, the best submarine I've ever seen on-screen and the finest ever version of the TARDIS control room. And through it all, he was kind and courteous and funny. The only downside of great men, is that they make terrible losses and we've lost Michael far too soon. He was a genius and a gentleman and we will all miss him. Looking back on all those mad, happy years, I think he was right to wear that tweed jacket and bow-tie. More than that, he was entitled. If Doctor Who had been a designer, instead of a rebel Time Lord, she'd have been Michael Pickwoad.' Chris Chibnall added: 'Everyone at Doctor Who is incredibly saddened to learn that Michael Pickwoad has died. His contribution to the show during Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi's era was immense and varied, conjuring up distant galaxies and historical eras - as well as an iconic TARDIS interior - with equal brilliance. He was a beloved member of the Doctor Who team and we send our sympathy and love to his family.' Before joining the Doctor Who team. Michael had a long and established career. He studied BSc Civil and Environmental Engineering, in 1967 at Southampton University, but subsequently decided to turn his attention to film design. His career on Doctor Who seemed destined as his father the great character actor William Mervyn, appeared in The War Machines opposite William Hartnell in 1966 whilst Michael's mother, Anne Margaret Payne Cooke was an acclaimed theatre designer. Michael's varied career began as an Art Director in the early 1970's, working for the Children's Film & Television Foundation on short films such as Wreck Raisers. In the 1980's he moved onto Production Designer, taking responsibility for the overall visual look of a production on classic British movies such as Withnail & I and The Krays and TV dramas including, Poirot, the US remake of The Prisoner, Marple, Rules of Engagement, Kavanagh QC, Murder Most Horrid, Lost In Austen and more recently Russell Davies' adaptation of A Midsummer Night's Dream and Doctor Who spin-off, Class. His final project, the BBC's Stephen Poliakoff drama series Summer Of Rockets, is yet to be broadcast. He had previously worked with Steven Moffat on the comedy Coupling and on 2007's Jekyll. He is survived by his daughter, Amy, an art director who has also worked on Doctor Who.
Kate Bush has paid tribute to dancer, mime artist and choreographer Lindsay Kemp, who has died aged this week at his home in Italy aged eighty. She described Lindsay - who taught her to dance - as 'inspirational' and 'a truly original and great artist of the stage.' Kemp famously collaborated with David Bowie as he invented his early theatrical personae. In her tribute, Bush said: 'To call him a mime artist is like calling Mozart a pianist. He was very brave, very funny and above all, astonishingly inspirational. There was no-one quite like Lindsay. I was incredibly lucky to study with him, work with him and spend time with him. I loved him very much and will miss him dearly.' David Haughton, Kemp's closest friend and collaborator for forty five years, said his death was like 'losing a part of yourself.' He told BBC News that Kemp had been working up until his sudden death in Livorno and had been 'very busy and very positive. It is a huge shock,' he said. 'But, if it had to happen, this was the best way. He was in a very good period - he had been working and dancing. He had no illness, he was with friends. He suddenly said he felt ill and a minute-and-a-half later he was gone.' LIndsay was also known for his film cameos, appearing as the pub landlord in the cult classic The Wicker Man in 1973, in Derek Jarman's Sebastian (1976) and as a pantomime dame in Velvet Goldmine in 1998.
Haughton, who first met Kemp in 1973, said: 'So many people feel so very deeply about him. So many people have said their lives were changed by his performances. One feels the depth and breadth of inspiration that he has left. He was one of a kind. There won't be another like him. He did ground-breaking work in performance, without the divide of classifying it as dance, music, mime or prose. The concept of what performance is was influenced by him. And he performed in countries all around the world - performance is a very universal language.' Born in 1938 in the Wirrel, Lindsay grew up in South Shields and later, after his father's death, in Bradford and quickly discovered a love of dance. 'I realised that I wanted to dance when I first realised anything at all. I was born dancing,' he said. 'For me dancing has always been a shortcut to happiness.' He first saw Ballet Rambert perform at the age of seventeen and soon after hitchhiked to London to audition. He won a scholarship, but needed to complete his military service first. He told Newsnight in 2016: 'I had a fairly tough time in the Air Force, because I didn't march, I danced.' He returned, untamed, to Yorkshire and enrolled in night classes at Bradford College of Art, where he became friends with David Hockney. He studied under the expressionist dancer Hilde Holger and French mime master Marcel Marceau before forming his own dance company in the 1960s. In 1966, Lindsay first met David Bowie after a performance in Covent Garden when the singer was nineteen. 'He came to my dressing room and he was like the archangel Gabriel standing there, I was like Mary,' Lindsay recalled. 'It was love at first sight.' Bowie became his student - and, for a time, his lover - performing in Kemp's mime ballet, Pierrot In Turquoise and gaining the theatrical inspiration for subsequent creations like Ziggy Stardust. 'He was certainly multi-faceted, a chameleon, splendid, inspiring, a genius of a creature. But I did show him how to do it,' Kemp said. The pair continued to occasionally work together into the 70s, Lindsay providing the androgynous dance troupe for Bowie & The Spiders' legendary 1972 residency at The Rainbow Theare, a flavour of which is captured in Mick Rock's video for 'John I'm Only Dancing'. His signature production during this period was Flowers, 'a pantomime for Jean Genet,' which he performed in the tiny confines of The Bush Theatre in Shepherd's Bush in early 1974. After teaching Bush to dance - she first saw him in another performance of Flowers - Kemp described her as a shy performer who nevertheless was 'dynamic' when she began to move. The singer later dedicated the song 'Moving' to him, pushing a copy of her debut LP under the door of his London flat. Kemp said: 'It was a very moving experience, because I didn't know she was a singer.' Lindsay left Britain for good in the late 1970s, for Spain and then Italy, although he did make a successful return to Sadler's Wells in 1983, dancing Nijinsky as a white-faced, slow motion rag doll in the last stages of insanity. He made his mark on the world of modern dance with shows such as Cruel Garden, a collaboration with Christopher Bruce at Ballet Rambert. Bruce told BBC News: 'He was one of those people you thought was going to live forever and go on working forever. He was one of the most remarkable men ever created in British theatre. He has influenced so many people. He was loved and considered a great artist by so many in theatre. And he would make me laugh for hours - he was a great raconteur.' He added that Cruel Garden, created in just four weeks, was 'one of the toughest productions I've ever made. There was terrific pressure. We fought, we battled away, we compromised and we came up with something which was a wonderful collaboration.' On Twitter, the actor and David Bowie biographer and historian Nicholas Pegg shared a photo of himself on-stage with the singer Marc Almond and Kemp, whom he called 'one of life's originals.'
The celebrated US playwright Neil Simon has died aged ninety one in his native New York City of complications from pneumonia, representatives announced. Simon gained international fame in the 1960s for stage and screen comedies including The Odd Couple and Barefoot In The Park. In 1991 he won the Pulitzer Prize For Drama with Lost In Yonkers. 'Some say he's the most successful playwright since Shakespeare,' Robert Redford once said. Simon was a prolific author averaging at least one play a year for much of his career and his work also included the hit musicals Sweet Charity and They're Playing Our Song. His wife, Elaine Joyce Simon, was at his deathbed along with his daughters, Ellen and Nancy in New York-Presbyterian Hospital, his representatives said. Born in 1927, Simon grew up in New York City during the Great Depression, with his parents' financial hardships affecting their marriage, giving him a mostly unhappy and unstable childhood. He often took refuge in movie theatres where he enjoyed watching comedians like Charlie Chaplin. Following a few years in the Army Air Force Reserve, and after graduating from high school, he began writing comedy scripts for radio and some popular early television shows. Among them were Sid Caesar's Your Show Of Shows from 1950 (where he worked alongside other young writers like Carl Reiner, Mel Brooks and Selma Diamond) and The Phil Silvers Show. He began writing his own plays beginning with Come Blow Your Horn (1961), which took him three years to complete and ran for almost seven hundred performances on Broadway. It was followed by two more successful plays, Barefoot In The Park (1963) and The Odd Couple (1965), for which he won a TONY Award. Both were subsequently turned into successful movies. The latter, in particular, made Simon a national celebrity and 'the hottest new playwright on Broadway.' During the 1960s, 70s and 80s, he wrote both original screenplays and stage plays. His style ranged from romantic and musical comedy to farce to more serious dramatic comedy. Overall, he garnered seventeen TONY nominations and won three. During one season, he had four successful plays running on Broadway at the same time and in 1983 became the only living playwright to have a New York theatre, the Neil Simon Theatre, named in his honour. Simon was married five times, to the dancer Joan Baim (1953 to 1973), the actress Marsha Mason (1973 to 1983), twice to the actress Diane Lander (1987 to 1988 and 1990 to 1998), and latterly to the actress Elaine Joyce. His first wife died of bone cancer in 1973. He was the father of Nancy and Ellen, from his first marriage and Bryn, Lander's daughter from a previous relationship, whom he adopted. His nephew is the US District Judge Michael H Simon and niece-in-law is US Congresswoman Suzanne Bonamici.

Yer actual Jodie Whittaker's first series of Doctor Who is to move from its traditional Saturday night slot, the BBC has confirmed (after months of speculation that it would). The ten-episode series (with an eleventh episode scheduled for Christmas) will be broadcast on Sundays, starting on 7 October. Again, as widely speculated in recent weeks within fandom and elsewhere and despite several hilariously ill-informed sources announcing 23 September as the series' start date. An hour-long episode titled The Woman Who Fell To Earth will launch the series. It is likely the transmission day change to Sunday has been made in order ensure that the series has a regular time slot. Previous series have sometimes seen the show's broadcast slot varying from week-to-week due to a variety of factors, something which should now be avoided.
While Saturday nights have been seen as the showcase for some of TV's biggest shows, in recent years it has been Sunday night programmes that have often delivered some of the week's highest ratings, particularly on the BBC. The most watched programme of 2017 was BBC1's Blue Planet II, which was broadcast on a Sunday night. And, in recent weeks the political drama series Bodyguard has achieved the highest consolidated launch ratings for any new drama in a decade. The only previous occasions that Doctor Who has been shown on a Sunday were for two episodes shown on Christmas Day and the autumn special, The Waters Of Mars in 2009. The switch means that Doctor Who will avoid direct competition with The X Factor. No timeslot has yet been confirmed but the series is likely to be shown in the early evening along with the Strictly Come Dancing results show. Charlotte Moore, the Director of BBC Content said: 'With Chris Chibnall at the helm and Jodie Whittaker's arrival as the new Doctor, we are heralding a brand new era for the show and so it feels only right to give it a new home on Sunday nights at the heart of BBC1's Autumn schedule.' BBC America has confirmed that the first episode will be screened in the United States at the same time as the UK, meaning the series will debut in the US in the early afternoon. The rest of the series will be seen in the usual prime-time evening slot. Additionally, The Woman Who Fell To Earth, is being shown in Australian cinemas on 8 October, just hours after its broadcast on UK and US Television.
Meanwhile, BBC Studios, which makes the popular long-running family SF drama, has been heavily criticised by many parts of fandom after the entertainment website Cultbox was threatened with legal action for 'reporting' (or, rather, speculating) what the launch date would be a day before the BBC's announcement. The site had referenced an official page for the BBC series on the iTunes store, which had published the launch date 7 October a day earlier. Although numerous fan sites and blogs (this one very much included) had been suggesting that 7 October as a likely start date for the series for some weeks ever since the press showing of the opening episode was announced for 24 September. A 'cease and desist' letter sent on behalf of the BBC said that they considered the - now removed - story on Cultbox contained 'classified information,' which it constituted 'a breach of a trade secret.' Which, even by the BBC's standards is a hideously crass and ludicrously bully boy scum over-reaction for which, hopefully, some litigious spelk will get their arse kicked, really hard, for being such a glake.
Meanwhile, proving that they can do some things right, BBC Studios have, this week, released a superb new trailer for Doctor Who soundtracked by The Only Ones''Another Girl, Another Planet' and featuring highlights from the last ten series. And a few - blink-and-you'll-miss-'em - clips from Jodie's first batch of episodes (none of which we haven't already seen). Nice one BBC Studios. Now, if you could manage not threaten fans for the dreadful crime of 'being interested in your show', that would also be worthy of considerable praise.
Yer actual Jodie Whittaker has assured Marie Claire readers that she is 'definitely ready' to 'have some fun' with her first series of Doctor Who. Jodie was reportedly urged by new showrunner Chris Chibnall not to watch any of her Doctor Who predecessors before auditioning in order to bring an entirely new interpretation. 'Doctor Who wasn't something that was on TV in my house when I was growing up, so I thought I'd have to cane it before the first audition and watch every single episode,' she said. 'Thankfully, Chris said, "I don't want you to. I want you to come in with fresh eyes and bring what you would do in this environment."' Once she got the audition out of the way, what appealed most to Jodie about the role of The Doctor was that it wouldn't be defined along gender lines like every other part she had ever played. 'I knew that there would be a huge amount of people it would be a shock for,' she said. 'But this job celebrates change more than any other role – you have a physical regeneration, so casting [a woman] supports that story and doesn't go against the rules of the show in any way. I'm playing a Time Lord who is, essentially, an alien and inhabits different bodies and this one is female. The best thing for me though is that, for the first time in my life, I am not playing a stereotypical woman because as much as I approach everything as an actor, I am continually labelled by the female version of that character. I recently had someone ask me, "Are you playing it as a girl or a boy?" I replied, "I'm just playing it." This is the most freeing role because there are no rules.' Jodie also had a message for fans who may be concerned about her interpretation of The Doctor, given that her previous work has mostly been in more gritty dramas. '[My previous roles] may be what fans were nervous of - they've only seen me be serious or heavy in energy and that isn't necessarily the mercurial Doctor,' she admitted. 'When you play troubled people, it pushes you beyond your emotional boundaries and there's an exhaustion because you've sat in this heaviness. But with this role, I'm continually running about and jumping and playing, so I bound off into the weekend like a maniac. I'm like, "Come on, I'm awake!" I'm probably an absolute pain in the arse. There's a weird euphoria and that's why it's been so much fun. I've never laughed so much in my life, every day. I adore the companions [Bradley Walsh, Mandip Gill and Tosin Cole]. I'm blessed to be given three people I now consider family members to go on this journey with.'
In this week's 'utterly crap Doctor Who-related tabloid story', let's have a big round of applause for those wonderful purveyors of truthful and accurate reportage, the Daily Lies for the remarkable revelation that Doctor Who: Change of gender will BARELY get mention in new series. No shit? 'Fans expecting the new series to be packed with comments and jokes about the Time Lord turning into a woman will be disappointed,' the risible scum tabloid dribbled, whilst failing to identify any fans who were expecting this or anything even remotely like it. An alleged (though suspiciously anonymous and, therefore, almost certainly fictitious) 'source' allegedly sneered: 'It is odd that one minute Peter Capaldi is The Doc and he turns into Jodie Whittaker and the sex change is barely mentioned.' No it isn't. Of course, the Lies has considerable form in exactly this kind of made-up crap. Who can forget this one, for instance? Or, even more memorably, this one? If the Daily Lies stated, boldly, that Sunday is the day after Saturday, dear blog readers, this blogger would require a second source before believing and repeating it.
That There Bradley Walsh has revealed that he almost turned down the role of Graham in Doctor Who. The actor, comedian and presenter stated that he initially said no when asked to take the part ... because Chris Chibnall would not tell him who the new Doctor would be. Explaining how he was offered the character, Walsh told the Sun: 'I was with Chris having lunch last year and he said, "Brad, I want you to do a job." I said, "Sure, what?" He said, "I can't tell. It's very, very secret. But you are the man for the job. It's in Cardiff and will be a nine-month shoot."' Bradley then met with The Chib again, where he was told a little more information about the project. 'I had another meeting and he said, "It is Doctor Who - not for The Doctor, though. We are going to change it around." I said, "Who is going to be The Doctor?" He said, "We can't tell!" So I said, "I can't accept." He said, "But we want you. It will be an unbelievable journey. It will be groundbreaking. We are going to go for it. The BBC have trusted us." So I'm in. A leap of faith.'
BBC Studios have also announced that it will be hosting a special 'Doctor Who Experience' at South Africa's first Comic-Con to tie in with the next series. The event is taking place in Johannesburg between 14 and 16 September and will feature VR experiences, video games, trivia and fan giveaways, plus a showing of Peter Capaldi's finale and the arrival of a new Doctor. The series itself will be shown in South Africa as a Showmax exclusive and has been described as: 'Bigger and bolder than ever.'
BBC1's thriller Bodyguard easily fought off ITV's new period drama Vanity Fair in Sunday's TV ratings battle, attracting more than twice as many overnight viewers as its rival. The third episode of Bodyguard was seen by an average of 6.6 million viewers, according to overnight figures. The launch of Vanity Fair averaged but 2.9 million. It followed The X Factor, whose own overnight ratings fell from 5.7 million on Saturday to five million on Sunday. Vanity Fair, based on William Makepeace Thackeray's Nineteenth Century novel, had been billed as the programme to fill the gap left by Downton Abbey on ITV. It stars Olivia Cooke as Thackeray's ambitious protagonist Becky Sharp. ITV's director of television Kevin Lygo recently said that Vanity Fair came about partly because it was his mother's favourite novel and that he originally wanted a more famous actress to play the lead. 'I wanted Emma Watson or someone everyone would have known,' he told the Edinburgh Television Festival last month. 'But Olivia will be known. She is absolutely brilliant in this and mesmerising and it's so flamboyantly directed. I think it's just fun and flashy and a huge budget for us and I'm really excited.' Speaking about what sort of ratings he would expect any drama on the channel to register, he said: 'If they're only going to get 2.5 million viewers, that's not right for us. Our drama needs to be broad by definition, it needs to be impactful.'Bodyguard's ratings remained steady - its first two episodes last Sunday and Monday attracted 6.7 and 6.4 million overnight viewers respectively. The first episode, which aired over the recent Bank Holiday weekend, achieved a final and consolidated audience figure of 10.4 million, with a forty one per cent audience share. The seven-day figure saw a 3.6 million timeshift increase in its initial overnight result. That is the highest launch figure for a new BBC1 drama since records began in 2002. Meanwhile, the fifteenth series of The X Factor began with an overnight audience of 5.7 million on Saturday - down from the six million punters who tuned in to watch the equivalent launch show last year. That means Saturday's ratings were the lowest for an X Factor launch night since the programme began in 2004, when 4.9 million watched the opening episode. ITV's overnight published ratings include those watching the channel live and an hour later on ITV+1. The final, consolidated ratings for last weekend's episodes will be published by BARB in a week's time. And, dear blog reader, there is a very good think-piece on Bodyguard by the Gruniad Morning Star's Zoe Williams which you can have a right good gander at here.
Richard Madden has revealed he wasn't paid much for his role as Robb Stark in Game Of Thrones. Not that he feels hard done by, you understand, as he admits he had nothing on his CV that deserved big money as a twenty two-year-old. Despite that, he explained fans often thought he was rich. Ten years on, the thirty two-year-old is now starring in the BBC drama Bodyguard, where he's appearing alongside Keeley Hawes and doing very nicely. When asked whether he was paid the same as his co-star, the actor told The Sunday Times: 'No idea. I imagine she earned more.' He added that he cares 'less about how much other people are paid and more what it takes for me to shut up and go and do my job.'
The BBC have also confirmed this week the broadcast date of the much-anticipated Killing Eve. It will be available as a box-set on iPlayer from 15 September.
Yer actual Matt Lucas has announced that he is joining forces once again with The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (OBE) for a new TV series. The actor shared the news on Twitter when revealing that the Chichester Festival production of Me & My Girl - in which he starred - is making the move to the West End. 'I had a blast playing Bill down in Chichester for the summer. I'm now busy developing a new TV show with the great Steven Moffat but I wish the West End cast every success!' Sadly for fans of both Moffat and Lucas, that's all the information we have at the moment. The Moff is currently working with Mark Gatiss his very self on an adaptation of Dracula and he previously said that the new version of the Victorian vampire story will be reinvented 'in a Sherlock-y way.' Moffat confirmed that the series will consist of three episodes of ninety minutes length. Steven is also adaptingThe Time Traveler's Wife [sic] for HBO.
John Simm has said that he is 'open' to a Life On Mars revival, following reports that the BBC previously turned down a two-part special. Series co-creator Ashley Pharoah recently claimed that the BBC had declined to commission a revival, since it 'didn't make financial sense.' Simm admitted that he is still keen to reprise his role of Sam Tyler. 'I think there were three years between Life On Mars and [follow-up series] Ashes To Ashes that we could mine,' he said. 'And, of course, it's about time travel, so you can get away with anything with time travel. It could end up like Doctor Who - I never thought that was going to happen again and then ... time travel!' Suggesting that a Life On Mars revival is 'possible' in future, Simm added that 'no one has mentioned' any such potential project to him. 'I'd certainly consider it!' he said.
The final series of Gotham will expand Bruce Wayne's Batcave and adopt a new look. Jonathan Collins, set designer and assistant art director on the drama, has put up a new Instagram post which shows what the team have in mind, though it now appears to have been removed. The Batcave has been teased on several occasions throughout the series, but with series five set to 'go all the way' with the Batman mythology, its significance is about to grow.
People were stopped from entering or leaving the BBC's Broadcasting House on Monday as police investigated what they said was a suspicious vehicle. A bomb disposal robot approached the orange van and a number of controlled explosions were carried out. Roads were closed around the area in Central London and BBC staff were advised to stay away from the windows. Police cut open the doors of the van, which was found to contain cardboard boxes and a motor bike. All entrances and exits of New Broadcasting House were closed at around 4.50pm while police carried out their investigations on nearby Duchess Street, which is to the rear of the BBC's headquarters. It left some staff unable to return to work - and others unable to leave. The building reopened at 6.30pm.
Richard Hammond and his wife believe they were 'gassed' before being robbed at their holiday home in France. According to the Daily Torygraph, the couple and fifteen guests - including their two teenage daughters - are feared to be the latest victims of a gang of burglars targeting luxury villas in Saint Tropez. The newspaper states that the thieves are 'known to have previously pumped anaesthetic gas through air conditioning systems' in a series of outrageous raids on the French Riviera. Describing the incident as 'a horror story,' The Hamster's wife, Mindy, told the Sunday Scum Express that she had heard one of the burglars downstairs in the rented villa and had 'gone down to investigate,' before going back to bed. 'I'm pretty convinced we must have been gassed or something, because they were in all of the bedrooms. They went where they wanted, into each room, opening and closing the drawers, searching through handbags et cetera,' said Mindy, who writes a column for the newspaper. 'You have got to have some kind of confidence to do that and to be quite satisfied that people aren't going to wake up. That just makes my blood run cold. I could have easily walked in and it could have been unpleasant.' The family confirmed that two raiders were caught on camera and arrested within forty eight hours. One of whom may, or may not, have claimed that it was the best robbery ... in the world. Ex-The Arse footballer Patrick Vieira and former Formula 1 world champion Jenson Button were victims of similar attacks in 2006 and 2010 respectively, with traces of anaesthetic gas found in their properties' ventilation systems.
Channel Four News presenter Cathy Newman has spoken about being allegedly 'sexually harassed' by teenage boys at the private school sixth form she attended. She claimed to The Sunday Times that one pupil unzipped his flies and forced her to touch his penis, leaving her feeling 'humiliated and embarrassed.' Charterhouse School said that it had 'not been aware' of the allegations previously but had now reported them to police. Newman shared her experiences as part of an anti-bullying drive. She said that the alleged incident occurred in the lunch hall at the independent school in Surrey when she was sixteen around 1980. 'It was completely unexpected. I just shrieked in a fairly comical way, laughed at myself to get over the humiliation of it, but afterwards I felt really embarrassed,' she told The Sunday Times. Newman spoke as part of the Back2School campaign launched on Monday by the Diana Award charity, which 'supports young people.' Speaking in a video for the campaign, she said that she 'started being teased' at her private sixth form, where there were 'very few girls,' because she was 'a swot.' Being on a scholarship also marked her out as 'slightly different,' she said. She recalled how if girls wore a white T-shirt, boys would spray them with a fire hose so they could 'see their underwear.' She said that now she would describe some of her experiences as sexual harassment but did not report them at the time. 'There were various more serious things that happened which I really wish I had reported and I don't know why I didn't but I think at the time when you're at school you just try and laugh it off,' she added. In a statement, Charterhouse said: 'If disclosures such as these regarding a current pupil were made to us today we would report them immediately to the statutory authorities and act to safeguard any pupils affected whilst statutory enquiries took place. Having now been made aware of these particular allegations, we have reported them to the police and will assist them fully in any investigation. While the events are said to have happened some time ago, they are deeply shocking. Such behaviour has no place in any school.' The school said that it has a 'zero tolerance approach towards bullying or harassment of any kind" and "puts the welfare of all pupils above every other consideration.'
And now, dear blog reader ...
Roxanne Pallett has snivellingly apologised to Ryan Thomas, saying that she 'over-reacted' when he 'punched' her on Z-List Celebrity Big Brother. Her appearance on Channel Five's debut Jeremy Vine show was her first interview since flouncing out of Z-List Celebrity Big Brother in a stroppy huffery-buffery last weekend. The incident has since received over eleven thousand Ofcom whinges from people with, seemingly, nothing better to do with their time. 'I massively apologise to Ryan, his friends and fans and every single person who watched that,' Pallett weaselled. '[It was] an over-reaction to what wasn't a malicious act. I was sensitive and emotional and mistook what was playful - I apologise for it, I shouldn't have questioned his motivation.' Thomas subsequently received a warning after Thursday's episode, which appeared to show him punching Roxanne during a play fight. Z-List Celebrity Big Brother producers pointed out that while 'almost play fighting' he 'punched Roxanne in the ribs.''We both know and Roxanne knows there was no malice, hurt or anger in anything I did during this time. I am sorry and I understand,' he said. Channel Five claim that they 'monitor contestants and intervene when necessary.' The reaction to the incident was largely in support of Thomas, with Pallett's family choosing to delete her social media accounts whilst she was in the house after they received thousands of messages from the public, mostly highly critical for her behaviour. Pallett addressed the social media comments and said: 'I don't blame anyone, I understand everyone, I had to realise I'm dramatic and all the things people are calling me, I am. I need to better myself and this is a serious subject and is something I need to focus on. I need to rebuild my career and my personal life, this has overshadowed everything and I'm taking this massively seriously.' She added that she didn't want people to think she was 'undermining' them, saying: 'I have been a victim of domestic abuse. I've worked with Women's Aid because of my own experience and perhaps they were right, my reaction was a tell-tale sign I had been in a situation like that. I would be horrified if people thought I had discredited and undermined abuse. After it happened, my mind ran away with me and everything in that house becomes so heightened - a look, a comment an action, your insecurities and sensitivity - in the moment it felt worse than it was.'
Pallett's interview came after Thomas' girlfriend, the former The Only Way Is Essex-type person, Lucy Mecklenburgh appeared on BBC's Victoria Derbyshire to vent her considerable spleen toward  Pallett. Mecklenburgh described the events on Z-List Celebrity Big Brother as 'hard to watch. We know Ryan wouldn't hurt a fly, we all know the truth but for him to go through thinking everyone on the outside thinks he's a woman beater. His mum and brothers are in bits but we don't want people saying things like this when he has a daughter.' She also demanded that Pallett 'publicly apologise to Ryan,' which Pallett did a short time later on Jeremy Vine. Mecklenburgh also addressed Thomas' warning and asked that Z-List Celebrity Big Brother'remove any strikes' against the actor. 'I want Channel Five to revoke the warning, in the past they've been for serious things and he didn't do that, people are angry and there are so many Ofcom complaints - everyone can see with their eyes that nothing happened.' Pallett - who, rather self-pityingly - described herself as 'the most hated girl in Britain' during her interview has been widely criticised by several of Thomas's Coronation Street colleagues as well as some of her own former Emmerdalecastmates, several of whom appear to have an axe to grind with regard to her. Lucy Pargeter, for example, said on Twitter that she was 'glad' people were seeing what Pallett was 'really like' while Charley Webb and Sammy Winward have also been extremely vocal against her and Nick Miles described her as 'toxic.' As long term dear blog readers may recall, Pallett has a previous - long - history of shameless self-publicity, most notably in 2009 when, whilst appearing in pantomime in Newcastle, she appeared to use the news of devastating floods in Cumbria to suggest that those families affected and forced out of their homes by the flooding should travel the sixty nine miles across country to the Theatre Royal to watch her in Cinderella to provide some 'light relief.'
And, in another 'let us stand up and salute the utter shite that some people chose to care about' story concerning squabbling z-list celebrities, Coleen Nolan pulled out of Thursday's Loose Women panel following an 'on-screen spat' with Kim Woodburn. A message posted on Nolan's official Twitter account claimed that the presenter was 'still very upset' about last week's incident. Woodburn had been invited onto the programme to 'reconcile' with Nolan after the pair 'fell out' on a previous series of Z-List Celebrity Big Brother. But, in the event Woodburn soon became tearful and stormed off the set in another right stroppy huff after clashing with the panel. Ofcom then received more than seven thousand complaints about the episode, with viewers mostly accusing Nolan and the other Loose Women panellists of 'bullying' Woodburn. On Tuesday's This Morning, Nolan explained: 'If I could go back in time I would change the whole thing, it was never meant to be like that. I honestly, genuinely thought that [Kim] was coming on to make amends. I have to say it was so shocking, genuinely shocking for all of us. I don't like to see anybody in that much distress, how she was in the end. It's been the worst week of my life actually.' The presenter then 'became emotional' as Holly Willoughby comforted her. Which was nice of her.
Nolan also claimed that there is 'a campaign' to get her fired from Loose Women and that she has been sent 'revolting' messages on social media by 'trolls.''Trolls' in this case, as usual when someone who delights in being in the public eye is criticised on social media, being tabloid-speak for 'anyone who dares to criticise a z-list celebrity, no matter how valid that criticism may or may not be.' Whether any of this nonsense will affect Nolan's recently-announced solo tour - or, indeed, sell a few tickets to it - or her regular column in the Daily Mirra is not, at this time, known.
Ofcom (a politically appointed quango, elected by no one) has revoked the broadcast licence of Ausaf TV, a proposed Urdu channel, ahead of its UK launch. The regulator's decision follows a BBC File On Four investigation into the non-English broadcaster last October. It comes after sister publication, Daily Ausaf, published praise of Jihadist leaders in its newspaper. The paper's editor acknowledged tht there were 'breaches of editorial policy' but claimed, unconvincingly, that some material had been 'taken out of context.' Two of the world's most wanted terrorists, Masood Azhar and Hafiz Sayeed, featured in the publication. The BBC programme also found praise of Osama Bin Laden and Mullan Omar, leader of the Afghan Taliban. In an e-mail to the BBC, the paper's senior editor, Muhammed Hanif Lodhi, reiterated the principles of the paper's editorial policy: peace, faith and unity - and said that the material File On Four had highlighted was taken out of context. He admitted there had been 'breaches of editorial policy' in the articles being questioned, which were printed earlier this year during a period when Lodhi was, allegedly, absent from the office. The BBC was told an internal investigation took place and the Daily Ausaf had extremely sacked two members of staff. Lodhi gave assurances that 'extra measures' were now in place to ensure that such material would not appear in the future. In one of the articles published in the newspaper, Bin Laden was described as 'a humble servant of The Creator' who left 'unforgettable prints on the history and geography of the world.' In another write-up, Bin Laden and Omar were called 'beacons of light.' There was also praise for South Asian Jihadist leaders like Masood Azhar, who was described as 'a renowned spiritual personality.' Syed Salahuddin, leader of Hizb-ul-Mujahideen, was described as someone with 'a white glowing face, shining forehead, bright eyes, impressive personality' and that 'you can't take your eyes off him.' In its decision announced on Thursday, Ofcom said that the individual in control of Ausaf UK Limited had 'close links' to the Pakistan and UK editions of the Daily Ausaf newspaper, in which articles were published. Ofcom said that the content 'amounted to hate speech and incitement to crime/terrorist actions. There is a material risk that the licensee could breach our broadcasting rules; for example, by airing similar content to that published in the Daily Ausaf on Ausaf TV, which would be harmful to viewers if the licensee were permitted to broadcast. This brings into question public confidence in the regulatory activity if Ofcom were to remain satisfied that the licensee was fit and proper to broadcast,' it said. 'In light of these serious findings, we are no longer satisfied that that those in control of Ausaf UK Limited are fit and proper to hold a broadcast licence. We have therefore revoked the licence,' it concluded.
Fans of The U2 Group were 'left disappointed' when their Berlin show was cancelled after Mister Bonio Out Of The U2 Group lost his voice. So, it would seem there is a God after all. The Irish band had played just a handful of songs when the singer apologised to the crowd, saying: 'I think we can't go on. It's not right for you.' Oh, the abject and manifest tragedy of it all. Those at the Mercedes-Benz Arena were told that there would be 'a short pause,' but were later told the show was over. Mister Bonio Out Of The U2 Group promised (or, should that be threatened) another gig would be arranged at a later date. Some fans claimed that Mister Bonio Out Of The U2 Group had announced smoke machines had affected his voice. 'Bono was in great form and great voice prior to the show and we were all looking forward to the second night in Berlin, but after a few songs, he suffered a complete loss of voice,' The U2 Group - Mister Bonio, Mister The Edge and The Other Two - said in a statement. 'We don't know what has happened and we're taking medical advice.' It was the second night of the European leg of The U2 Group's Experience + Innocence tour, which had kicked off at the same venue on Friday night. Mister Bonio Out Of The U2 Group had been singing 'Red Flag Day' when he lost his voice, according to those at the concert.
Neighbours has broadcast the first ever TV same-sex wedding in Australia. The soap is reflecting on marriage equality, after same-sex marriage was legalised down under in December. Executive producer Jason Herbison said that representation of the LGBT community is 'a priority.' He told The Huffington Post that the marriage of David and Aaron is 'a defining moment' in the show's history. Herbison said: 'It's no secret that the arts are filled with members of the LGBTQ community. As storytellers, we have played a strong hand in creating love stories like Scott and Charlene's for the masses to enjoy. But until recently, our own love stories haven't been told, out of fear of offending some of the viewing audience.' The wedding marks the culmination of a long-standing relationship between David and Aaron, who got back together after David's fling with Rafael Humphreys, played by former Coronation Street actor and current Z-List Celebrity Big Brother'victim' Ryan Thomas. Neighbours has long featured gay and bisexual characters in the soap, featuring storylines about coming out and exploring love, but has never followed a relationship to the wedding stage until now. Herbison said that UK soaps have always been 'first to prove that television has the power to overcome prejudice and promote love and acceptance.'The Archers on Radio 4 was the first soap to feature a gay civil ceremony in 2006. Channel Four's Hollyoaks was the first soap to feature a gay wedding. The happy couple John Paul and Ste Hay married on Christmas Day in 2014.
The alleged 'lifestyle' website founded by the actress Gwyneth Paltrow has agreed to pay one hundred and forty five thousand bucks for making 'unscientific claims' about vaginal eggs. That they're very nice on lightly buttered toast with a slice of bacon and some mushrooms, that sort of thing. Probably. The settlement also applies to a 'flower essence,' which Goop claimed could 'cure depression.' Goop claimed that its jade and rose quartz eggs, which are 'inserted vaginally,' could 'balance hormones' and 'regulate menstrual cycles,' amongst other things. The lawsuit was brought by California's consumer protection office. 'The health and money of Santa Clara County residents should never be put at risk by misleading advertising,' District Attorney Jeff Rosen said in a written statement. 'We will vigilantly protect consumers against companies that promise health benefits without the support of good science or any science.' Goop said in a statement that while it 'believes there is an honest disagreement about these claims, the company wanted to settle this matter quickly and amicably. This settlement does not indicate any liability on Goop's part.' Both the jade and rose quartz vaginal eggs, which are sold for sixty six dollars and fifty five dollars respectively, are still available for sale, but Goop is prohibited from making any further health claims which are not backed up by science. Or, indeed, common sense. Goop also will be very banned from selling 'medical devices' that are 'falsely advertised or unapproved.' The company agreed to pay the one hundred and forty five thousand dollars in civil penalties and is also offering a refund for any customers who purchased the eggs or the flower essence 'under false claims.' It said that it has not received any complaints about the product claims as yet. Paltrow has increasingly come under scrutiny from scientists and doctors who say that the actress uses ludicrous 'pseudoscience' to sell products on her website.
Israel's public broadcaster has apologised to listeners after music by Richard Wagner was played on the radio. The Nineteenth-Century German composer remains a controversial figure in the country because of his virulent anti-Semitism and because, later, Hitler (who only had one) was a great fan of his work. But, on Friday a leading classical music station played part of Wagner's Götterdämmerung. In its apology, the broadcaster said that the editor had 'erred' in his 'artistic choice' and Wagner would not be played again. The Israeli Public Broadcasting Corporation added that it 'recognised the pain' such a broadcast would cause among Holocaust survivors. Wagner's work contains views on racial purity. The composer was also the author of a pamphlet entitled Judaism In Music, in which he said that 'the Jew' was 'incapable of artistic expression.' Wagner's music is not specifically banned in Israel but is not widely played due to considerable public opposition. On Friday the presenter on the Kol Hamusica station played a recording of the final act of Götterdämmerung. The piece was directed by Daniel Barenboim - who is himself Jewish - and performed at The Bayreuth Festival, which celebrates Wagner, in 1991. The subsequent apology was criticised by those within Israel who argue that Wagner's abhorrent views - and the fact that he numbered among his fans plenty of right shitbags - do not, necessarily 'invalidate' his work. A bit like how Morrissey has turned into a complete and utter arsehole over the last twenty years but that doesn't mean the records he made with The Smiths in the 1980s aren't, still, effing great. 'There are just as many Holocaust survivors who love the music as there are those who object to it. You have to listen to his music and his music is absolutely beautiful,' claimed Jonathan Livny, head of the Israel Wagner Society. In 2011 an Israeli orchestra played a Wagner composition in Germany. At the time, Israeli Chamber Orchestra Conductor Roberto Paternostro said that while Wagner's ideology was 'terrible,' the aim was 'to divide the man from his art.'
Planetary scientists will be reaping the benefits of the Saturn Cassini mission for many decades to come. It orbited the ringed jewel of the solar system for thirteen years, taking incredible data of the planet, the rings and the fleet of Saturn's moons. The biggest satellite - and the second biggest in the whole solar system - is the aptly named Titan. We had learned quite a bit about it from Earth-bound telescopes, but there is nothing like actually being there. Cassini passed the planet-sized moon many times, taking images of it at lots of different wavelengths. Scientists have known for a long time that Titan has an atmosphere but that, in and of itself, has caused problems: carbon-based molecules floating around are really good at absorbing and reflecting visible light, so all we see when we look at those wavelengths is an orange fuzzball. But, those molecules are completely ambivalent to certain wavelengths of infrared light, letting them through. That means that equipped with the right filters, Cassini's Visual & Infrared Mapping Spectrometer could see light reflected from the surface, piercing the haze. After a dozen flybys a lot of images were taken, allowing scientists to put together a pretty decent map of the entire surface of Titan. Earlier maps showed lots of seams in the mosaics, due in part to different lighting conditions between Cassini passes, but now they have released new images that are simply stunning. These images show a lot of interesting things on the surface of Titan. The Southern and Northern high latitudes appear pretty featureless - though they aren't at all; that's where the notorious lakes of liquid methane are, but they're hard to see. They show up far better in radar images. But the equator is a different story. It is mostly flat, without much in the way of mountains. But there are very interesting things to be seen. For example, there are very few impact craters on Titan's surface. It gets hit as much as any other Saturnian moon (more, since it's bigger and has gravity to pull them in), so the lack of craters means the surface gets rearranged on a reasonably short timescale. Erosion from weather may be the culprit here. Titan is cold, so water is frozen harder than granite, but methane can exist as a liquid, solid, and gas, just as water does on Earth. So it can evaporate from lakes, form clouds, and rain down elsewhere: in other words, erosion. The equatorial region also has vast dune fields! But these aren't silicate sand as on Earth, but hydrocarbons that have condensed out of the atmosphere. Winds blow these grains around, forming dunes all around the equator. Two huge fields of them can be found in areas called Shangri-La and Xanadu. The dune fields were discovered using radar and are an important clue to Titan's environment. How the grains form, how they grow, how they blow and the size and spacing of the dunes tells planetary scientists a lot about conditions on the moon's surface. Weirdly, longitudinal dunes on Titan are similar to those on Earth, despite the very different conditions.
Twenty-five years ago, the referee Les Mottram infamously failed to spot an obvious goal against Partick Thistle at Firhill. But on Saturday, in the same goalmouth, Thistle were the victims of a similarly strange and incorrect decision. Kris Doolan's shot from the edge of the Morton box glanced off the underside of the crossbar and rippled the net, before falling across the goalline. As the home players celebrated, referee Barry Cook consulted with his assistant and opted to award a throw-in instead. Thistle manager Alan Archibald described it as 'bizarre' and 'unbelievable' but, fortunately for Thistle, Chris Erskine's goal was enough to earn them victory regardless. 'I'm just glad it didn't have an effect on the outcome,' said Archibald. 'I'm only calm because we've won the game, but it beggars belief.' It was reminiscent of the incident at Firhill in January 1993 when a shot by Dundee United's Paddy Connolly hit the stanchion of the same goal, bounced out and was caught by Thistle defender Martin Clark and thrown back to goalkeeper Andy Murdoch, only for Mottram to wave play on.
Glenn Tamplin has put Billericay Town up for sale after reportedly suffering 'personal abuse' which, he claims, has 'started to affect his health and family.' Tamplin was spoken to by police after Saturday's defeat at Woking in National League South following a complaint from a fan that he had been taking cocaine. 'For me it has now crossed the line,' the forty six-year-old said. The multi-millionaire has invested heavily since taking over the Essex club in December 2016. 'It is with deep regret that I have no choice but to cut my ties with Billericay Town Football Club,' Tamplin said in a statement on the club website. 'The club is now up for sale with immediate effect.' He said 'the final nail in the coffin' was after Saturday's two-one defeat to Woking, 'where I was informed at the ground, after the match, that the police wanted to talk to me regarding a complaint from a fan that that I had been using cocaine. After speaking to the police they were satisfied that the complaint was unfounded, although angry and upset I felt that was the end of the matter. However, twenty minutes after I had left I was pulled over by the police. Bizarrely I was, once again, questioned regarding the complaint. This led to my two young children who were with me becoming absolutely terrified and in floods of tears in the back of my car.' The club, currently second in National League South, later uploaded an audio recording on their Twitter account of the second conversation Tamplin had with police after leaving Woking's ground. Tamplin's statement continued: 'Again, after assisting the police in every way possible I was again allowed to continue my journey home.' Billericay have attracted plenty of headlines since Tamplin bought the club, with former Premier League players Paul Konchesky, Jermaine Pennant and Jamie O'Hara all having had spells at New Lodge - O'Hara is still a member of their first-team squad. Tamplin had a spell as manager last season which saw the players sing R Kelly's 'The World's Greatest' in the changing room and him leave a game at Hendon twenty minutes early 'to attend a business meeting.' He vowed to get the club into the Football League in five years and The Blues won promotion last season as Isthmian Premier League champions. But, they are currently managerless after Harry Wheeler was extremely sacked as boss last month - reportedly by text message five minutes before the end of their defeat at Chippenham. 'My last actions will be to find suitable investors that will be able to run the Billericay Town and also to try my hardest to reinstate Harry Wheeler as manager of this great club,' Tamplin said.
A flag which pays tribute to former Newcastle United goalkeeper the late Pavel Srnicek has been returned. The flag, displaying the 'Pavel is a Geordie' legend, was taken by person or persons unknown after yer actual Keith Telly Toping's beloved (though, tragically, unsellable and, probably, relegation-bound) Magpies' two-one defeat by Moscow Chelski FC in the Premier League in August. Ahuge crowd favourite of Tyneside Srnicek, who played one hundred and ninety games for United in two spells at the club, died in 2015 aged forty seven, following cardiac arrest. Pav's former team-mate and ex-Newcastle keeper Steve Harper called for the flag's return last week. Harper, now an academy coach at Newcastle, wrote on Twitter: 'Could whoever has taken the "Pavel is a Geordie" flag please return it ASAP. The big man meant so much to so many people and it's only fitting he's remembered whenever NUFC play.' Srnicek, who was capped forty nine times by the Czech Republic, had two spells at St James' Park between 1991 and 2007. In his first spell, Srnicek helped Newcastle win promotion to the Premier League and was an integral part of the squad that came agonisingly close to winning the title under Kevin Keegan in 1996. Pav also played for Sheffield Wednesday, Portsmouth and West Hamsters United.
The 'scallop war' between French and British fishermen in the English Channel is over after a deal was struck between the UK and French governments. And so, we shall have scallop peace in our time. Probably. Last week, an at-sea clash took place about twenty miles off the Normandy coast where British boats are legally entitled to fish scallop all-year round. French vessels are only permitted to fish during the scallop fishing season – which runs from 1 October to 15 May – and for more than a decade tensions between the respective sailors have been rising, with the French accusing the British of 'pillaging' stocks. On Wednesday peace talks were held in London that included representatives of the UK and French fishing industries, during which the French were said to have expressed 'regret' for the recent skirmishes. And, for generally being a right stroppy bunch of drama queens. Both sides reached an agreement on the principles of a deal. No UK vessels will fish for scallops during the window in conflict, during which the French are not allowed to harvest the molluscs. Instead, smaller British boats will be compensated for their losses - the sum is to be debated in Paris at a later date - and if both sides do not agree, the accord could be sunk. 'In addition, there is agreement in principle for UK under-fifteen metre vessels to be included in the deal,' the UK and French governments said in a joint seafood statement. 'This is subject to a reasonable compensation package, the details of which will be defined in Paris on Friday. In the meantime, there is a voluntary agreement for all UK vessels to respect the French closure period in the Baie de Seine.' Last week's clash saw approximately forty French vessels gather in protest against their British counterparts, allegedly 'throwing rocks, shackles and flares onto the boats.' On Wednesday, French agriculture minister Stephane Travert told French TV station CNews: 'We can't keep going on like this, we can't keep having skirmishes like that. The French Navy is ready to step in if more clashes break out, as well as carrying out checks.'
'A series of morbid Internet searches have led to the arrest of an Alaska woman, who is now charged with killing both her children, two years apart.' Mind you, this is according to the Daily Scum Mail so, you know, pinch of salt as usual. Stephany LaFountain, twenty three, is accused of killing her thirteen-month-old daughter on 20 November last year and her four-month-old child on 15 September 2015, Anchorage Daily News reported. Both babies were otherwise healthy, but the girl had stopped breathing when LaFountain called for help on 20 November. The girl died in hospital four days later. The death of her first child, who she had during a previous relationship, was not investigated as a potential murder at the time. When police began to investigate the death of her second child, forensic teams allegedly found 'a series of suspicious searches' entered into her computer about an hour before the nine-one-one call, including: 'Ways to kill human with no proof', 'Drowning and Forensics' and 'How to: Commit the Perfect Murder'. LaFountain was extremely arrested on Wednesday and taken to Fairbanks correctional centre. Fairbanks Police Chief Eric Jewkes told reporters at a press conference that the 'horrific crime' should 'serve to remind everyone' of the 'evil' that 'lurks' in all communities. 'Just take ten seconds and think about a mother killing both her children, over two years [in] completely isolated events,' he said. 'And what that means and what happens sometimes in our community - and sometimes the evil that exists, that's out there.'
A golfer with a prosthetic leg is suing a local council for refusing to let him play on its course using a buggy. Paul Houghton's right leg was amputated in 2000 after he was affected by a lethal tissue-eating bacteria. Houghton learned to walk again - and golf became an important part of life but he still also uses crutches and a wheelchair. He claims that Brentwood Council in Essex discriminated against him but the council is defending the legal action. In November 2000, while working as a roofer, Houghton knelt in contaminated water and contracted the deadly flesh eating bug necrotizing fasciitis. It consumes muscle and body tissue at a rate of two centimetres an hour. 'The surgeon told me he had to operate immediately,' Houghton told the BBC. 'He said that he had no choice but to continue cutting until he was certain he had removed all the infected tissue. I had just two hours to prepare myself for an operation that at best I would survive with a leg missing, but at worst I would not survive at all.' His right leg was amputated above the knee and he received the last rites whilst in hospital. In all he had five operations, some for skin grafts because his amputation was very rushed and the perfect stump could not be formed. Houghton could not continue to work as a roofer and his business was wound up. He returned to education, requalified and now works for Chelmsford Council as its access officer in building control. He learned to walk with a prosthetic limb and switches between it, wheelchairs and crutches. However, overuse of the crutches causes shoulder injuries, while the prosthetic leg can cause pressure sores which are difficult to cure. Houghton has represented England at disability golf thirteen times, with a handicap of fourteen and has played on courses across Europe. Because of his disability he needs a buggy in order to play an eighteen-hole course. In August 2016, Houghton had booked to play a round with a friend at Hartswood Golf Course in Essex, owned and operated by Brentwood Council. On his way to the first tee he claims he was told he would not be allowed on to the course without a letter from his doctor justifying the medical need for a buggy. If he obtained such a letter he was told he would be given a certificate allowing him to use his buggy. 'I was gobsmacked,' he told the BBC. 'I've played over one hundred courses around England, I've played all around the world and I've not been treated in this way before.' Houghton says he explained that he had his own insurance, a European Disabled Golf Association card and a medical exemption, but the club insisted that he needed a letter from a doctor to justify the use of a buggy. 'It sends the message that disabled people aren't welcome, that we are not part of society, not included, but are segregated and can't join in a sport that's accessible to everybody, because we need to use other equipment to play the game,' Houghton says. In his legal claim, Houghton argues that by refusing to allow him to use a buggy without a doctor's letter, the council 'discriminated' against him because of his inability to walk around the golf course. In effect, he claims the council was applying a policy that 'indirectly discriminates against all disabled people' who need a buggy to play golf. Brentwood Council denies any discrimination. Well, they would, wouldn't they? The council said it was 'committed to ensuring safe access for everyone to all its facilities' and would issue a full statement when legal action had concluded. Houghton's solicitor, Chris Fry, said: 'This case is more than just about making a service more accessible; it's a reminder of the importance of the benefits which sport brings to social inclusion, together with physical and mental health. This is especially important for people with a range of disabilities and not least mobility impairments. A simple adjustment in this case will benefit Paul and thousands of others in a multitude of ways.' In its 'Buggy Use Policy,' England Golf, the governing body of amateur golf, says it 'wishes to encourage the participation in golf of all players regardless of disabilities.' This, it says, is 'in accordance with its obligations under the Equality Act.' Cae Menai-Davis, co-founder of the Golf Trust, a charity that works with disabled groups to make golf more inclusive, commented: 'Golf is a sport for everyone. Making it difficult for a disabled golfer to use a buggy isn't just bad policy, it is bad business. There is a huge untapped group of people with learning and physical disabilities that want to play the game and will benefit hugely from it.'
A man from Washington state was very arrested this week for, allegedly, sexually assaulting a beaver which had been laying in the road - dying - after getting run over by a car. Richard Delp was extremely taken into custody on Monday not long after the alleged incident in Columbia Park, according to KVEW. An alleged witness allegedly told the station that she 'caught' Delp 'in the act' whilst attempting to rescue his victim. She claimed that she saw the beaver 'get nailed' by a vehicle and was on her way back to the scene with a container to put it in when she found it, ahem, 'getting nailed' all over again. Delp, she claimed, was on top of the mortally wounded animal, pants unzipped. The woman promptly called nine-one-one and officers arrived in time to arrest  sheepish Delp. He was later charged with animal cruelty and possession of methamphetamine. The beaver did not survive.
Police in Russia are reportedly investigating claims that a boy beheaded himself with a chainsaw after losing a computer game. A criminal case has been opened into incitement to suicide after fifteen-year-old Pavel Matveev's body was found in the village of Mogochino in Tomsk region. Reports claim that the boy went out into his yard this morning and 'switched on a chainsaw and sawed off his own head.' Russian media cited alleged 'local sources' allegedly saying that Pavel was 'addicted' to a computer that his single mother had bought for him. An alleged female 'source' allegedly 'quoted' by Plohie Novosti and Novosti V Tomske news sources claimed that his death came after playing a computer game. 'This is what killed him,' the alleged source was allegedly quoted as allegedly saying. He 'spent hours at his computer' and his 'nerves' gave in after a game, she allegedly claimed.
A murder case is reported to be'stunning' people in York County, South Carolina. Detectives have arrested and charged a woman after they say she poisoned her husband with eye drops. The arrest warrant accuses Lana Sue Clayton of poisoning her husband Stephen Clayton's water with eye drops at their home in Clover from 19 to 21 July. According to WSOC, the cause of death was determined after toxicology tests found poisonous levels of tetrahydrozoline in the body of the victim. 'Somebody does something like that? That's crazy,' opined Sean Magan, who lives nearby. 'That's crazy,' agreed Deborah Pollard, who also lives nearby. Although whether she and Sean live nearby together, we just don't know. 'They're just finding all kinds of ways to do crazy things now a day, aren't they?' Stephen's funeral was held in August in the backyard of the couple's home, before detectives had determined his cause of death.
It is no secret that doctors witness some pretty weird things each day in their line of work. From women getting Kinder Eggs stuck up their vaginas, to men pulling their own toes off, they've seen it all. But according to the Daily Mirra, one group of doctors have just been faced with a bizarre task they've never had to deal with before, as a rather embarrassed thirty one-year-old man was admitted to ASST Great Metropolitan Hospital in Niguarda, Italy with a twenty three-inch sex toy stuck inside himself. The unnamed man had been 'attempting to remove the toy for twenty four hours before seeking medical assistance,' the report states. He told doctors that he was 'suffering from mild abdominal pain,' but had no other serious symptoms. His x-rays revealed a 'long and large-sized foreign body' rammed up his colon. Traditional removal tools such as a polypectomy snare and biopsy forceps were tried by the doctors, but all failed to retrieve the item due to its 'smoothness and size.' Baffled, doctors were eventually forced to get creative and invent a new method of removal. They threaded a piece of wire through a catheter to create 'a sort of noose.' This was inserted into the man's body, with the wire end wrapping around the sex toy and being tightened until the item was able to be pulled out. The patient was discharged later that day. He was said to be 'walking a bit funny' upon release.
A Minneapolis woman faces charges after authorities say she made a twelve-year-old drive her car after she 'had a few drinks,' according to court records. A criminal complaint states twenty nine-year-old Brittney Marie Dowell was charged with two counts of child endangerment, both misdemeanour offences. According to the complaint, on 2 June, an officer with the Robbinsdale Police Department observed a vehicle with a driver that appeared to be 'too young to drive. ' The officer then observed the vehicle make a drastic turn. After initiating a traffic stop, the officer identified the driver of the vehicle as a twelve-year-old. The complaint said a thirteen-year-old was in the passenger seat. The officer found Dowell sitting in the back seat. The complaint said that the officer could smell alcohol and that Dowell's eyes were bloodshot and watery. The complaint said Dowell told the officer she 'had a few drinks.' When asked to perform a field sobriety test, Dowell told the officer, 'Just take me to jail. I know I've done a bad thing,' the complaint said. The two children in the vehicle told authorities Dowell had them drive her around when she drank and yelled at them if they refused to do so, according to the complaint.
A Florida man was arrested on Thursday evening, ten days after he allegedly shot at a family home after one of its residents complained about an experience at a local restaurant, the Orange County Sheriff's Office said. Deputies were called to a home after Norman Auvil of Orlando - riding in an SUV driven by Michael Johnson, the restaurant owner's son - shot at the home three times before Johnson drove away, according to an arrest report. The report said that one of the bullets pierced a window, narrowly missing the head of Kenneth Walley, who was watching television in the living room. 'I actually could feel the air from the bullet as it passed by me,' Walley said. 'It missed me by about four inches.' A day earlier, Walley's wife, Diana, had been denied service at the Daybreak Diner, so their daughter, Monica Walley, called the diner and spoke with several workers about her mother's visit, the report said. Monica Walley said that she had left 'a negative review' on Facebook after her disabled mother was denied service on her birthday. Monica said that the restaurant workers were 'unnecessarily rude. It's my right to be able to tell others what my experience is and what happened and stand up for my mother,' Monica added. 'I think that anybody in my shoes would have done the same thing.' According to the report, Monica was unsatisfied with the diner's response, so she launched a social media campaign against the diner, alleging that they 'mistreated' her mother because of a disability. 'The social media campaign resulted in negative online reviews, negative social media posts and harassing and angry phone calls to the restaurant,' the report said. 'The restaurant's owner, Lizabeth Johnson, later stated she felt that day that her business was ruined as a result of the negative social media campaign.' Investigators said that Michael Johnson and his girlfriend, Stephanie Knight, worked at the diner which they intended to inherit someday. The report said Knight and Michael Johnson had been driving a 2013 white Ford Flex registered to Knight's father. The SUV matched the description of the one recorded by a surveillance camera approaching the shooting scene, the report said. Investigators said Michael Johnson and Jesse Martin told them that on 20 August, they were drinking beer with Auvil at the home where they all live.
A Russian whose love of The Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them) led him to turn his flat into a 'Fab Four museum' has died in St Petersburg. Russians knew Kolya Vasin as The Be-Atles' biggest fan during the Soviet era, when the Communist authorities saw Western rock music as subversive, decadent, bourgeois, capitalist and something to be stamped out. Vasin, who died aged seventy three, began collecting Be-Atles records and memorabilia in the 1960s. He particularly treasured a Plastic Ono band LP - 1969's Live Peace in Toronto - signed by alcoholic wife-beating Scouse junkie John Lennon and Yoko Ono. The Be-Atles had many fans in the USSR, indeed as music historian the late Ian MacDonald wrote in Revolution In The Head, the spread of Be-Atles music (and those of other Western groups via bootlegged LPs and smuggled tapes behind the iron curtain had a lasting impact: 'The resulting promotion of the English language around the world is one of their most substantial, and least documented, achievements.' On Facebook one of Vasin's friends, Nick Barabanov, wrote that Nikolai Vasin had 'gone to join John Lennon and George Harrison. May they have a happy and bright time there!' Kolya reportedly died in a fall at a St Petersburg shopping centre on 29 August. For more than fifty years The Be-Atles dominated Vasin's life. He dreamed of dedicating a 'shrine of love' in St Petersburg to Lennon but the project was never realised, even though city officials found a suitable site for it. When asked why he had allowed The Be-Atles to take over his life he replied that having children would 'not have equalled' the joy and love that the band had given him. A leading Russian cultural commentator, Artemy Troitsky, says the impact of The Be-Atles songs behind the Iron Curtain was 'profound. The Beatles turned tens of millions of Soviet youngsters to another religion,' he told the BBC. Alexander Kan, a BBC Russian Service analyst, wrote in a tribute that Vasin was 'legendary' among Russian rock and/or roll fans. He met Vasin in 1980, by which time Kan himself was enthusiastic about other bands besides The Be-Atles. 'But, for him there was nothing more important.' Vasin described as 'divine intervention' the fact that John Lennon had sent him the signed LP. In 1970 Vasin had sent a birthday telegram to Lennon and miraculously John had picked it out of his pile of fan mail from around the world. Vasin influenced many other Russians with his passion for The Be-Atles and wrote a book about the band's cultural impact behind the Iron Curtain. The book's title - Rock On The Russian Bones - referred to Soviet fans' use of old X-ray plates for inscribing bootleg recordings of Be-Atles songs. Western rock LPs were nearly all banned by the authorities but there was a vast black market of bootleg recordings among youngsters in the Soviet bloc. Once Communist-era censorship had disappeared Vasin staged parties every year to mark the birthdays of each of The Be-Atles and he was present when yer actual Sir Paul McCartney rocked Red Square in Moscow in 2003.
The actress Jacqueline Pearce - best known and beloved by millions for her role as the villainess Servalan, in the popular BBC science-fiction series Blake's 7, has died at her home in Lancashire at the age of seventy four. Jacqueline was well-known to a generation of television viewers thanks to the smouldering intensity and depth she brought to her role as the vampish space villain. Created by Terry Nation, Blake's 7 concerned a morally ambiguous bunch of rebels led by Roj Blake (Gareth Thomas) and Kerr Avon (Paul Darrow) pursued by the forces of a totalitarian interplanetary government known as The Federation. Initially brought in for a guest spot in a single episode, Jacqueline did such an outstanding job as the evil regime's coolly calculating supreme commander that she became a recurring character and the show's main villain. With her striking looks, cropped jet black hair and propensity to stride across the universe in glamorous attire (which the naturally elegant Pearce carried off effortlessly and with a perfectly judged level of arch camp), Servalan was no stereotypical evildoer. A cold, calculating, ruthless sociopath Servalan's main aim was to destroy the crew of The Liberator - whilst, simultaneously enjoying a flirtatious over-the-top double act with Darrow - and the relish with which Pearce played the character ensured she would remain a fan favourite for the series duration and for decades beyond.
Jacqueline augmented the character's ruthlessness with a damaged sensuality and an undercurrent of vulnerability amid frequent bursts of Joan Collins-style tempestuousness. Years later, Jacqueline was delighted to receive letters from (now grown-up) viewers telling her that Servalan had been the object of their first teenage crush as well as an icon for the show's - numerous - gay fans.
Jacqueline was born in Woking, the daughter of Stella and Reginald Pearce. Her father worked at the Vickers Armstrong aircraft factory nearby in Weybridge and Jacqueline was brought up in Byfleet, where the family shared their home with another couple, May and George Wilcox. Stella walked out when Jacqueline was sixteen months old and the Wilcoxes shared parental responsibility with Reg. Jacqueline was educated at the Marist Convent in West Byfleet. Although she found her schooldays traumatic, a lay teacher at the convent opened her eyes to drama by giving her elocution lessons and taking her to the theatre. After an unsuccessful stint at secretarial college, she won a place at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London where her contemporaries included John Hurt (who became a friend for life) and Anthony Hopkins. On graduation, she secured the services of a good agent and television parts came quickly - the first in a 1964 ITV Play Of The Week starring Ian McShane and Hurt. It also featured her husband, the actor Drewe Henley, whom she had met when he directed her in a short film while she was at RADA: they had married within nine months, in 1963.
She quickly broke into films, featuring prominently in a pair of highly regarded 1966 Hammer movies The Plague Of The Zombies (her character's rise from the grave memorably ended in decapitation by shovel at the hands of André Morell) and The Reptile (playing the title role). Other films included the following year's Don't Lose Your Head, Don't Raise The Bridge, Lower The River (1968, in which she starred alongside Jerry Lewis, Bernard Cribbins and Terry-Thomas), Sky West & Crooked (1965), White Mischief (1987), Bruce Robinson's How To Get Ahead In Advertising (1989) and Princess Caraboo (1994).
After her marriage to Henley ended in 1967 (and he subsequently married Felicity Kendal), she took an impetuous sabbatical in Hollywood. She studied at the Lee Strasberg Actors Studio in Los Angeles and worked as a receptionist for her friend Sammy Davis Jr (whom she had met when they worked on adjacent sound stages while he was filming in the UK). When she returned home, she felt her career had stalled, but her extensive body of television work included guest spots in The Avengers (1966), Public Eye (1966), Man In A Suitcase (1967), Callan (1969), Hadleigh (1973), Special Branch (1974), the BBC Shakespeare series (Measure For Measure in 1979) and Casualty (2006).
Recurring roles included a performance of sad beauty as Rosa Dartle in the BBC's 1974 production of David Copperfield and a pair of memorable fantasies aimed at a younger audience - Moondial (1988, in which she played a dual role) and Dark Season (1991, an early success for Russell Davies which starred a teenage Kate Winslet).
She also played Claudia Haswell in Couples, Anna Rupius in Vienna 1900 and another villainous role, Chessene in the 1985 Doctor Who story The Two Doctors. Though, to be fair, the latter really wasn't her fault. She also appeared in series such as Doctors, Daniel Deronda and The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. Her theatre work included West End appearances in Harold Pinter's production of Simon Gray's Otherwise Engaged (1975) and JB Priestley's Dangerous Corner (2001) and an Edinburgh fringe run of her one woman show A Star Is Torn (1999). During a break in her career she moved to South Africa for several years, initially to care for orphaned monkeys. In her highly entertaining autobiography From Byfleet To The Bush (2012), she was candid about her struggles with mental health. She nevertheless remained a glamorous force of nature - even when hard up and between jobs she would, she claimed, cash her benefit cheque and immediately head to the West End to buy champagne.
Edited to add:
Liz Fraser, best known for her role in the Carry On film franchise, has died in Brompton Hospital at the age of eighty eight after a short illness. Director Michael Armstrong has lead tributes, describing her as 'one of the greatest comedic actresses of her era.' Fraser's first major film role was in 1959's I'm All Right Jack, playing Peter Sellers' daughter, although she subsequently played his girlfriend just a year later in Two Way Stretch. Speaking about working with Sellers she once said: 'He wined and dined me at his Hampstead penthouse and another time locked me in his dressing room having invited me there for lunch. He had treated a girlfriend of mine badly, so I didn't quite go there.'
Liz was born in Southwark. Her year of birth was usually attributed as 1933, which she gave when auditioning for her role in I'm All Right Jack, as The Boulting Brothers wanted someone younger for the part. Her true age was actually three years older, confirmed in her autobiography, Liz Fraser ... and Other Characters, published in 2012. Her father was a travelling salesman for a brewery and her mother owned a shop just off the New Kent Road. Family life was disrupted by the Second World War when Liz was evacuated, initially to Westerham in Kent and then, when that was deemed still too vulnerable to the bombs, to Chudleigh in Devon. Her father died in May 1942 when Liz was eleven.
She attended St Saviour's and St Olave's Grammar School for Girls between the ages of thirteen and seventeen and also attended Goldsmiths College in the evenings, where she joined a drama group. On leaving school she attended the City of London College for Commerce, Book-Keeping, Shorthand and Typing and won an evening scholarship to the London School of Dramatic Art. Her first film appearance was in Touch & Go (1955) using her birth name, Elizabeth Winch and then The Smallest Show On Earth (1957) in which she worked with Sellers for the first time. Further film appearances included the classic I'm All Right, Jack for which she received a BAFTA nomination as Most Promising Newcomer. She was in several of the early Carry On films: Carry On Regardless (1961), Carry On Cruising (1962) and Carry On Cabby (1963), but was sacked by producer Peter Rogers allegedly after casually saying that the series could be better marketed. She re-appeared in the series in Carry On Behind (1975) and played memorable roles on TV in The Avengers and The Professionals.
Her other film appearances included Two-Way Stretch, The Bulldog Breed and Pure Hell At St Trinian's (all 1960), Double Bunk (1961), The Painted Smile and The Amorous Prawn (both 1962), The Americanization Of Emily (1964), The Family Way (1966), Up The Junction (1968), Dad's Army (1971), the sex comedies Adventures Of A Taxi Driver (1976), Confessions Of A Driving Instructor (1976), Adventures Of A Private Eye (1977) and Rosie Dixon: Night Nurse (1978) and The Great Rock 'N' Roll Swindle (1980).
Liz was known for her many appearances in British films and television series during a fifty year career, including Hancock's Half Hour and the 1965 The Avengers episode The Girl From Auntie. She appeared in numerous episodes of the Associated-Rediffusion soap opera Sixpenny Corner (1955-56) and on Benny Hill's late-1950s TV shows.
Her other television work included episodes of Dixon Of Dock Green, Whack-O!, Probation Officer, Harry's Girls, It's Not Me: It's Them!, Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased), The Goodies, Mickey Dunne, Miss Marple, Crown Court, Citizen James, Last Of The Summer Wine, The Bill, Foyle's War, Birds Of A Feather, Minder, Rumpole Of The Bailey, Jason King, Here Come The Double Deckers!, Fairly Secret Army and Holby City. Earlier this year she made her final screen appearance in Midsomer Murders. Liz married Peter Yonwin, a travelling salesman, in November 1958 but the marriage soon collapsed and they divorced. She married her second husband, Bill Hitchcock, a TV director, in January 1965. At that time, the couple agreed not to work together, but this changed in 1972 when she appeared in the Rodney Bewes sitcom Albert! which Hitchcock co-directed and again later in the same year, when she acted in Turnbull's Finest Half-Hour, a comedy series starring Michael Bates and produced by Hitchcock. Hitchcock died from a pulmonary embolism in February 1974 at the age of forty five. Fraser had a half-brother, Philip, eleven years her senior, the son of her mother from a previous marriage. Liz supported various charities and was a patron of the London Repertory Company. In her private life, she was known to be fond of animals, loved playing bridge and bowls at the exclusive Hurlingham club in Fulham. Her financial astuteness brought substantial gains at the stock market which Liz in turn developed into a healthy property portfolio. She always spoke fondly of her co-stars, many of whom she regarded as her close friends during the sixties, in particular Sid James, Joan Sims, Tony Hancock and Tommy Cooper.
No other Hollywood icon of the last few decades has exposed his emotions, his love life, career and ambitions, or his body, quite as openly as did the actor-director Burt Reynolds, who has died this week aged eighty two. He acted in scores of films, directing many of them, and produced and appeared in hundreds of television movies and episodic series. Many of these were eminently forgettable, though a role in Boogie Nights (1997) won him a thoroughly deserved best supporting actor Oscar nomination. But it was his extravagant and explosive lifestyle, aspects of which affected his career, that often made the headlines. In 1972, the year of his breakthrough in Deliverance, widely regarded as his best work, he became America's first male centrefold, appearing nude in Cosmopolitan. The magazine sold over a million copies and this single photograph became more discussed than his performance as the belligerent Lewis in Deliverance. The publicity upset the conservative end of Hollywood and possibly cost Burt an anticipated best actor Oscar nomination; in a 2015 interview he said that he regretted having done the shoot.
Further notoriety came his way from his marriages, the first to the comedienne Judy Carne, the second to the actress Loni Anderson. Both ended in divorce, the latter rather acrimoniously in 1995, after an eighteen-month dispute over his wealth and the custody of their son, Quinton. Long and widely publicised affairs with other actresses - including Sally Field and Dyan Cannon - and with the singer Dinah Shore, who was many years his senior, also fuelled the publicity machine. Reynolds said that Shore taught him 'about the finer things in life' and Field, his co=star in one of his most popular movies, Smokey & The Bandit, was the person he had 'loved the most.'
Burt was a very physical actor who often - proudly - did his own stunts and had initially hoped to become a professional gridiron football player. Throughout his career, which effectively began in 1959 with the television series Riverboat, he claimed to have one of the three quickest tempers in Hollywood, alongside those of Gene Hackman and Clint Eastwood. This caused many on-and-off set fights and, during the filming of Heat (1986) he hit and severely injured the film's director, Dick Richards, who subsequently sued him for assault. The altercation came during a dismal period in Reynolds' life, when an addiction to the painkiller Halcion and severe weight loss had led to widespread rumours that he was suffering from AIDS. In fact, his debilitating illness had been caused by a fight scene which went disastrously wrong during the shooting of City Heat in 1984, in which he co-starred with Eastwood. Reynolds was hit with a real bar stool, rather than a fake one and suffered a broken jaw, leading to year-long complications with his teeth, jaw and inner ear.
Yet in 1981 he had been voted the world's top box office attraction for the fifth consecutive year and his film The Cannonball Run had been one of the year's highest earners. That film was one of many, beginning with White Lightning (1973), that contributed to Reynolds's 'good ole boy' image, aimed at the drive-in audience and blue-collar workers, particularly in Middle and Southern America where they appreciate that sort of thing greatly. Others in that frantic, car-oriented and stunt-dominated style included the Smokey & The Bandit films. Born in Lansing, Michigan, Burt was the son of Burton Reynolds, who had been in the military and later became a police chief and his wife, Fern. After the family moved to Florida, Burt attended Palm Beach high school, and won a sports scholarship to Florida State University. When a shattered knee and damaged spleen put paid to his plans to become a footballer, he headed for New York, hoping to become an actor.
There, he took various labouring jobs while he sought work in the theatre. A small role in a production of Mr Roberts starring Charlton Heston, while sharing a flat with the volatile actor Rip Torn, kept Burt afloat financially until he offered to do a dangerous stunt in a television show. Other parts followed, leading to a contract with Universal and a two-year stint as Ben Frazer in Riverboat. Reynolds stayed faithful to the small screen and enjoyed success in many series including Gunsmoke (1964), Hawk (1966), Dan August (1970), BL Stryker (1989) and the intelligent Evening Shade (1990), which won him an EMMY. He also directed for television and appeared in dozens of mini-series and movies. He was a regular guest on chat shows and entertainment specials and repeatedly featured on The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson; during the latter's absences, Reynolds enjoyed huge success deputising for Carson and, especially, relished a lively encounter interviewing Carne.
His big screen appearances began modestly in 1961. He was frequently cast as an American Indian, thanks to Cherokee blood on his father's side. Sam Fuller's ill-fated Shark and a thriller, Impasse (both 1969), were followed by a role as Detective Steve Carella in the Ed McBain-inspired movie Fuzz (1972). John Boorman's Deliverance propelled him into the big league. A riveting outdoor adventure, based on a bestseller, it told of four men who challenge nature and themselves on a weekend trip shooting the rapids down a river high in the Appalachians. This nightmare journey - and its vision of a society despoiling the land - became a huge critical and commercial success. Between 1972 and his accident on City Heat, Reynolds starred in thirty movies and survived potentially damaging publicity in 1973 when he became involved in the mysterious death of the writer David Whiting during the filming of The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing. A verdict of accidental death was eventually recorded.
Reynolds directed his first feature, Gator, in 1976; then The End (1978) and Sharky's Machine (1981). But, his commercial acclaim rested on his energetic characterisations including Gator, the titular lead in the Smokey & The Bandit movies, JJ McClure in The Cannonball Run and its sequels and numerous cop and adventure films - many directed by his former stuntman and friend Hal Needham. A commitment to one of these, Stroker Ace (1983), caused him to turn down the role in Terms Of Endearment which subsequently went to Jack Nicholson, who won an Oscar. This was a bad career move, comparable to Burt's decision not to play James Bond when Sean Connery left the franchise. Nevertheless he maintained an opulent lifestyle and, at various times, owned six substantial homes, a fleet of cars, a helicopter and a jet with two pilots on standby.
He interspersed the action flicks with some more serious movies, which included two for Robert Aldrich. He was a football-playing convict in The Longest Yard (1974) and a police detective seduced by Catherine Deneuve in the stylish Hustle (1975). Aldrich said of him: 'Behind that false humour and false modesty is a bright man who paid his dues. His charm is only part of the man – he's a strong-willed self-centred businessman who does what serves Burt. And so he should.'Silent Movie (1976), the satiric Semi-Tough (1977), Starting Over (1979) and Best Friends (1982) earned him good notices, as did founding a community project near one of his homes in Jupiter, Florida. The Burt Reynolds Theatre allowed him to return to the stage and attracted friends and fellow actors to work in modern classics. Among regulars there were Martin Sheen, Charles Durning, Julie Harris and Field. After the commercial failure of City Heat and his injury, Reynolds worked little for the next few years. The nadir of his career came during this period when a chain of restaurants he had financed closed with debts of fifteen million dollars. He refused to file for bankruptcy and accepted whatever work he was offered. He took the Cary Grant role in a feeble revamp of His Girl Friday, updated from journalism to television and entitled Switching Channels (1988). There were many voiceover gigs, including one for All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989) and appearances as himself in documentaries, as well as in Robert Altman's The Player (1992).
In 1989 he had enjoyed a minor comeback in the amiable comedy Breaking In, but it was swamped by such medium-budget failures as Rent-A-Cop (1987), the psycho-horror The Maddening (1995) and the Canadian-made Frankenstein & Me (1996). The dire TV spin-off Bean (1997), in which he took fifth billing, proved popular and he followed that with a return to form. Boogie Nights was an ensemble piece, brilliantly directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. As a 1970s porn movie director, Reynolds gave a charismatic and assured performance which rightly gained him critical applause and a new lease of life. He notched up an incredible two-dozen screen and television appearances over the next few years. He starred in three TV movies as Detective McQueen and returned to directing with The Last Producer (2000) and co-starred with actors as diverse as Sylvester Stallone in Driven (2001) and Julie Christie in Snapshots (2002). He was among an all-star line up in the prestigious television mini-series Johnson County War (2002) and, appeared in a very weird episode of The X-Files.
For whatever reason - money or confirmation of his existence in a changed Hollywood - Burt continued to work relentlessly. His credits exceeded in quantity, if not quality, those of the previous decade. Performing voiceovers for video games including Legend Of Frosty The Snowman (2005) was a particular low point. Other work included full-length TV movies and straight-to-video features such as End Game (2006) and Randy & The Mob (2007), in which he remained uncredited. Better material showed he still retained considerable screen presence. He was the 'me' to Mary Tyler Moore in the feel-good TV movie Miss Lettie & Me (2002) and met his acting match with Bruce Dern in the violent western Hard Ground (2003), where as aggressive partners they hunted a sadistic killer. In 2005, The Longest Yard was revamped in comedy mode. Thirty years previously Reynolds had played the lead brilliantly in Aldrich's tough version of the same story (titled The Mean Machine in the UK where it had a cult following) about prisoners and their warders on opposing football teams. Here he was effective as Coach Scarborough in a massive hit which earned double its eighty million dollars budget on first release. Another commercial success followed with a big-screen spin-off from the TV series The Dukes Of Hazzard, returning Reynolds to the car-crashing good ole boy territory of earlier years. Then he was in the aptly named Forget About It (2006) - among many movies - until the amiable A Bunch Of Amateurs (2008), where, as a fading star, he goes to Britain to play King Lear at Stratford, only to find that it is a local amateur dramatic society and not, as he had assumed, the RSC. Its success relied entirely upon him, Imelda Staunton and Derek Jacobi. The irony of the casting was unmistakable, as were the jokes about Deliverance in Without A Paddle (2004) or the title of Not Another Not Another Movie (2011) about a studio willing to produce rubbish for cash.
A hectic life and multiple health problems (including a back operation in 2009 and heart bypass surgery the following year) plus financial concerns behind him, Reynolds settled for a marginally less arduous work schedule, maintaining a home in Florida while working steadily in television and cinema. He made guest appearances in several long-running, well regarded TV series including Ed (2003), Archer (2012) and Burn Notice (2010), observing that he had notched up three hundred credits in the medium. He could also be seen or heard in video productions and voiceovers in films, plus leading roles in features, although one at least had a total budget of less than his personal fee had been for acting in Smokey & The Bandit. These included a disaster movie, Category Five (2014), Elbow Grease and the horror film Hollow Creek (both 2016). He kept on working even after his sardonic portrayal of a veteran performer, The Last Movie Star (2017) and will appear in a comedy to be released in December, Defining Moments his final movie role. In 2015 Reynolds published a follow-up to his 1994 autobiography My Life, which had been dedicated to Quinton. The new book, co-written with Jon Winokur, was called But Enough About Me and was intended he said 'to set the record straight.' It covered much of his career and his personal and working relationships during a six-decade career with the great, the good and the utterly forgettable of Hollywood. He ruefully noted that his choices – professionally as well as romantically - had not always been wise. In addition to James Bond, he had turned down the lead in Die Hard and the role of Hans Solo in Star Wars.
But, whilst the search for cinematic respectability and an Oscar continued to elude him, Burt could always take satisfaction in numerous other accolades and in holding the record as the only star to have been the US's top box office attraction for five consecutive years. He is survived by Quinton.
And finally, dear blog reader ...

There is a really jolly useful summation of various comments made by yer actual Jodie Whittaker and Chris Chibnall during their recent round of media interviews at the very excellent Blogtor Who site, which you, dear blog reader, can have a damned good vada at here. And, as an additional bonus, if you want to have a right good laugh and feel morally superior in the knowledge that there are some total bleedin'glakes out there in Interwebland, then have a look at some of the comments left by their dear blog readers.
It has been something of a staple of modern Doctor Who series, but there will, apparently, be no 'romantic frisson' on board the TARDIS in the forthcoming series. Yer actual Jodie Whittaker has insisted that we will see 'nothing more than friendship' between The Doctor and her trio of companions and, certainly no hanky-panky or anything even remotely like it. 'We are a friendship group in this season,' she told The Times. Asked about a possible 'love connection' between The Doctor and one - or more - of her new friends, Jodie responded: 'No. But we all love each other.' Jodie's Time Lady will be joined by Graham (That There Bradley Walsh), Yaz (Mandip Gill) and Ryan (Tosin Cole) in her forthcoming travels through time and space. 'It feels like a family by the end of it,' Gill had previously told the Digital Spy website concerning the TARDIS team dynamic. 'For my character, there's times where she wants to go home and make sure everything's okay. But I feel like by the end of it, while she knows it's always an option to go home, this is kind of her new family.''It starts off as a bit of chaos,' added Tosin Cole. 'It's all over the place and then we just kind of gel. There's more of an understanding of each other and [a sense of] knowing each other's strengths and weaknesses.'
And, the accompanying Times photoshoot was also worthy of considerable attention.
Christopher Eccleston has never seemed particularly keen on returning to Doctor Who in any official capacity, but that doesn't mean that he won't return to the character for something unofficial and romantic. Over the weekend, a video surfaced of yer actual Big Ecc - in character as The Doctor - wishing a couple named Liam and Blaine (or 'Blaime,' as The Doctor ends up calling them) congratulations on their wedding. The exact connection Ecc has to the couple is not clear, though the description in the video notes the wedding surprise was arranged 'by a friend.' Another, shorter video for the couple was also filmed by former Doctor Who showrunner Russell Davies, who sarcastically accuses Blaine of once wanting to marry him before running off to Liam. In his video, Eccleston is not in costume (although he is wearing a T-shirt, which for his Doctor was sort-of, in costume) or standing near any particular hallmarks. Instead, he's standing outside in a garden - possibly his own. Taking on his Doctor's trademark blend of warmth and irritation, Eccleston first complains that it's 'typical you apes' didn't manage to get him an actual invite to the wedding, before expressing sincere congratulations. 'My two hearts are beating as one for you both today,' he said. 'Congratulations on your wedding day, and I won't be there in the blue box, but I will be there in spirit. Have a lovely day.'
Seven million overnight punters - including this blogger - tuned in to the fourth episode of BBC1's acclaimed drama Bodyguard on Sunday - and the political thriller has left viewers guessing about what is really going on in a way that hasn't been the case with many recent dramas. In Sunday's episode, David Budd (played by Richard Madden) tried to deal with the aftermath of a bomb explosion during a speech by Home Secretary Julia Montague (Keeley Hawes). And one major plot twist in particular has generated conspiracy theories. The first three episodes revolved around Madden's and Hawes' characters but on Sunday, viewers were told Montague had been killed in the bomb and the actress only appeared in the episode during one, brief, bit of CCTV footage prior to the bomb going off. The drama's creator Jed Mercurio - who was also responsible for Line Of Duty - told Radio Times that viewers would never see her death coming. 'I like to try to do things that move the story on,' he said. 'With Bodyguard I wanted to have this event mid-series that would completely alter the dynamic.' Indeed, for about two minutes mid-episode this blogger genuinely thought that Mercurio had killed off both of his leads as Budd made what seemed at first to be a successful suicide attempt. Growing up, Mercurio said, he 'struggled to believe' in TV drama because he knew the central characters wouldn't die. 'I remember watching TV as a kid and, whenever there was some sort of jeopardy involving the hero, I could reassure myself that they were what I'd call a "can't-die" character, so everything would be okay.' Hawes herself thanked fans for their reactions to the series on Twitter, whilst also having a delicious pop at a ridiculous nonsense story about weight loss spouted by some louse of no importance at the Daily Scum Mail. 'It's a real shock because the whole show, the whole advertising, the whole talk about this entire drama has been the dynamic between her and the bodyguard,'Buzzfeed TV editor Scott Bryan told Radio 5Live concerning the death of Montague. 'And then, in episode three - not a pivotal episode in a normal run of things - to kill off your main character is a bold, bold move.' Sarah Hughes from the Gruniad Morning Star echoed those thoughts, writing: 'The death of Home Secretary Julia Montague at the drama's half-way point was a bold move, but I'd argue, despite the hole it now leaves, a brilliant one.' We know from Line Of Duty that Mercurio is the master of the unexpected plot-twist - Hawes was also in series two and three of Line Of Duty before also being killed off. It is unusual for shows to unexpectedly kill off a major character - although it does happen occasionally - like with Lisa Faulkner in the second episode of [spooks] or Sean Bean's Ned Stark in the first series of Game Of Thrones. But it is even more bold when a show centres so closely around two people. However, a lot of viewers are apparently finding it hard to believe that Montague really is dead, especially when we haven't actually seen her body on-screen and there are plenty of theories about whether it might all be some elaborate cover-up. 'I don't think she's dead,' critic Joe Michalczuk told 5Live. 'I think it's too bold. We haven't seen the body. I'd be gobsmacked if she doesn't come back.' One of the wilder Interweb theories suggests that Bodyguard may actually be a modern re-telling of Romeo & Juliet - with some pointing out that the names Julia and Montague 'could be derived' from Shakespeare's play. In the play, Juliet does fake her own death, with Romeo - unaware of her true plans - deciding to join her, drinking poison and dying. Scott Bryan thinks that might be a twist too far. 'I think [Julia being alive] would be a bit loopy, even for Jed Mercurio levels - and he's known for making massive plot twists - for it to make sense that she isn't dead.' While the mysteries of the series are yet to be solved, that has not stopping the show's creator from thinking about the future. But, he tells Radio Times he has been 'slightly worried' that the first series may make Richard Madden 'too big a star' to appear in any potential second. The former Game Of Thrones actor has even been touted as the next James Bond, albeit not by anyone that actually knows what they're talking about. Mercurio said: 'He's the genuine article, a real leading man. And I think this role has put him very much in the spotlight for bigger things.' Talks with the BBC about a second series are unlikely to happen until the first series has finished. 'You have to wait until the end because anything can happen,' Mercurio said. 'Some shows do nosedive at the end, or some piece of content could become incredibly controversial and affect the way the show is seen. In the end, you have to accept that the broadcaster holds all the cards.' There are two episodes of the first series left and, as we have seen, anything could happen.
From the North's Comedy Line Of The Week came, of course, from the return of From The North favourite Qi complete with its first change of title sequence in sixteen years. 'Complete this sentence,' Sandi Toksvig asked the panel - Danny Baker, Phill Jupitas, Teri Hatcher and Alan Davies - 'Donald is the first President in one hundred and sixty eight years not to have a ... what?''Trace of common decency,' suggested Alan to huge applause from the audience. And, obviously, a klaxon. And, probably,  ban from entering into America for the foreseeable future!
'We think she's been operating for two years across ten countries. She's highly skilled, untraceable and, frankly, she's starting to show off!' A hair pin, a bottle of poisoned perfume and a fashionably sparse Parisian apartment are some of the clues about the life of Villanelle, the chic-but-psychopathic assassin wreaking havoc in the BBC's new spy thriller Killing Eve which starts this weekend. When awkward-but-brilliant, desk-bound MI5 officer Eve Polastri (played, superbly, by Grey's Anatomy star Sandra Oh) is assigned to track down a killer (Doctor Foster's Jodie Comer in a truly star-making once-in-a-lifetime performance), she finds her mundane life turned upside down. And, an epic game of cat and mouse ensues over eight exciting and often hilariously funny episodes. Killing Eve has already developed a cult following in the US, where it was broadcast by BBC America earlier in the year and has been nominated for two EMMY Awards. Its second series is currently being filmed and even the legendary film director Sir Ridley Scott is reported to be a fan. Whilst the spy-genre is often riddled with clichés, it is the women at the centre of this show, both off- and on-screen, that set it apart from the norm. This blogger has had the preview discs of the series since shortly after it began in the US and has been evangelically telling everyone that will listen (and, indeed, anyone that wouldn't) about how pure dead brilliant it is since watching the whole series in a weekend binge about a month ago. Seriously, dear blog reader, trust this blogger on this one even if you never trust him on anything else he has ever recommended in the past or ever will again - nothing you have ever previously watched is even remotely like Killing Eve.
The series is an adaptation of the Codename Villanelle novel by Luke Jennings, with scripts written by Fleabag's Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Espionage is so often a male dominated field, so how did having two women in the lead roles change the genre? Executive producer Sally Woodward Gentle admits that they never even thought about that aspect. 'I don't think we had a single conversation about gender,' she claims. 'Actually we tweaked quite a lot of how much Villanelle used her sexuality and that was quite a conscious thing of her not to do, to not sex people to death. That's not what she does. She just really likes killing cleverly and she also doesn't get off on it in a sexual way, she's just interested to know what happens!' Sandra Oh adds that 'Women aren't resolved by their domestic circumstances, they're out there killing people!' The drama also stars Fiona Shaw as intelligence boss Carolyn and Kirby Howell-Baptiste as Eve's ambitious assistant, Elena - both roles that were originally men in the books. (To be fair, the series also has strong roles for Darren Boyd, Owen McDonnell, David Haig and Kim Bodnia, so it's not, entirely, a testosterone-free zone!) Nevertheless, Oh points out many of the show's women are at different ages and at different points of their careers. 'You get to see a progression of where women are in their career - you see Elena at the start wanting to be like Carolyn and then you have Eve who is in the mid-point of her career and you see Carolyn who's at the very top, it's just exciting!' she says.
In the first scenes of the opening episode, viewers see MI5 colleagues refusing to entertain the idea that Villanelle's crimes could have been committed by a woman, while Eve is the first and only person in the room to suspect it. Perhaps this inability to see women as villains has something to do with the fact that a woman in the spy genre is normally much more likely to be the scantily clad love-interest or a damsel in distress than the culprit. But, Villanelle is no ordinary criminal. Whether she's snacking on bruschetta in the hills of Tuscany or ordering silk throws for her Parisian apartment, her taste for the finer classy things in life is a recurring leitmotif in the series. 'She's designing her own life,' says Waller-Bridge. 'It's not about looking at Villanelle being cool, it's about her feeling cool and that's what's feeding her or feeling like she's living the life she suppose to live. She can have sex with anyone she wants - and she does - and she'll eat a tiny sandwich on the hillside because she can! She's kind of in the "Villanelle movie" of her life.' Waller-Bridge also says that the spy's flair for fashion comes directly from the original novels and that Jennings was 'very specific' about what Villanelle wears. 'He's got impeccable taste! The clothes were a huge part of Villanelle and that's what made it so fun.'
In August, after the show was broadcast in America, Jennings revealed how mostly female LGBT fans contacted him on Twitter to praise him for creating characters like Eve and Villanelle. He wrote in the Gruniad Morning Star: 'Their messages were passionate and moving. They claimed the show as their own, they told me. They identified profoundly with Eve and Villanelle, and they felt validated and made visible by the women's relationship.' When asked about Villanelle's bisexuality, Waller-Bridge says that she factored it into her creative process. 'The idea that these two women became obsessed with each other in every possible way was just exciting and new and nuanced and real,' she says. 'It was a different kind of passion I'd seen, and it just felt very natural to the characters. The moment Eve knows Villanelle knows she exists, a switch is turned on in her that hasn't been turned on before, and watching her work out what that is and seeing their chemistry together when they first meet - we say it was when they 'fell in love' with each other. The sexual power play between these two women isn't for anyone else, it's just for them. They're just women who adore each other.' The first episode of Killing Eve will be broadcast on BBC1 on Saturday at 9.15pm whilst those who wish to binge-watch the entire series will be able to do so on iPlayer as soon as the opening episode has debuted. And, you will want to, dear blog reader. Again, you'll just have to trust this blogger on that score.
Game Of Thrones may not have been eligible for last year's EMMY Awards, thanks to its hiatus in broadcast, but at the Creative EMMYs held on the weekend of 8 and 9 September, it returned with a vengeance. On the first night, it took seven of the fifteen awards for which it was nominated: Outstanding Prosthetic Make-up for a Series, Limited Series, Movie, or Special; Outstanding Special Visual Effects, Outstanding Music Composition for a Series (Original Dramatic Score); Outstanding Stunt Coordination for a Drama Series, Limited Series, or Movie; Outstanding Fantasy/Sci-Fi Costume; Outstanding Production Design for a Narrative Period or Fantasy Programme (One Hour or More) and Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series (One Hour). Other genre shows were also represented: Black Mirror's USS Callister episode took three awards - Outstanding Television Movie, Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing For A Limited Series Or Movie and Outstanding Sound Editing For A Limited Series, Movie Or Special. The Handmaid's Tale won Outstanding Production Design for a Narrative Contemporary Programme (One Hour Or More), Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series for Samira Wiley and Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing for a Drama Series. Westworld was honoured with Outstanding Creative Achievement in Interactive Media within a Scripted Programme And Outstanding Makeup For A Single-Camera Series (Non-Prosthetic) And Outstanding Hairstyling For A Single-Camera Series. Counterpart (coming to Starzplay in the UK later this month) won Best Title Design, while Stranger Things took home Outstanding Sound Editing for a Comedy or Drama Series (One Hour).
How proper terrific it was to see a fit and healthy-looking From The North favourite yer actual Elvis Costello popping up on The ONE Show this week, speaking about his recent cancer scare.
Last month it was officially announced that the next Star Trek series will feature Sir Patrick Stewart returning to his Star Trek: The Next Generation role of Jean-Luc Picard. There is little known about the show and it doesn't even have a name as yet, but we now have some more details on the Picard series, thanks to one of the executive producers. One of the executive producers for the new series is Pulitzer Prize-winning author Michael Chabon, who has been sharing some of the goings-on from the recently formed writers' room. This week Chabon has again used his Instagram account to reveal more about the show, including the year for the show's setting - 2399. Regarding the time-setting of the show, Chabon's post states: 'So we finished our first amazing two weeks in the space2999 writers' room and I think all you 99ers out there are really going to "grok" what we have planned.' Chabon also used an image from the 1970s SF series Space: 1999 to send out his message. The last time we saw Picard was in the 2002 film Star Trek: Nemesis, which took place in the year 2379. At the Star Trek Las Vegas convention, Patrick Stewart said of the setting: 'Twenty years will have passed, which is more or less exactly the time between the very last movie – Nemesis– and today.' 2399 puts the new Picard show at the end of the Twenty Fourth century, which is somewhat poetic as it will bring to an end the century which was the setting for the acclaimed Star Trek: The Next Generation and the two subsequent series, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - the Star Trek series which got good the quickest and stayed good the longest - and Star Trek: Voyager - which was crap. Through twenty one series those three dramas covered the period between 2364 and 2378, with Nemesis taking place one year after the Voyager finale. The only known events set out in canon for the post-Nemesis Twenty Fourth Century comes from the 2009 Star Trek movie. JJ Abrams first Trek film established that in 2387 a supernova which threatened the galaxy exploded, destroying the planet Romulus. Spock was able to prevent the supernova from destroying the rest of the galaxy but he and his ship were drawn back in time, along with a - very angry - crew of Romulan miners, to kick off the new Kelvin timeline in the Twenty Third century. Star Trek has shown a number of 'alternative' futures, like Voyager's Timeless with an embittered Harry Kim being chased by a Captain Geordi LaForge in a 2390 where the USS Voyager had crashed, killing most of the crew. We also saw a version of Picard in the mid-2390's in the Next Generation finale All Good Things, where he is retired to his family vineyard in a Federation where relations with the Klingons have again become hostile. While these alternative late Twenty Fourth Century scenarios are not, necessarily, canon due to changes in the timelines created in those episodes, one thing that is consistent is that the Federation and Starfleet endures.
The Director General of the BBC has told MPs the broadcaster's coverage of a police raid on the home of Sir Cliff Richard was 'over the top' and had so far cost it more than one-and-a-half million quid in costs and damages. Tony Hall told the digital, culture, media and sport committee, that the total cost of Richard's high court privacy action against the BBC was 'not yet known,' but most of it would be covered by an insurance policy and, thankfully, not from licence fee payers. Lord Hall also said that free licence fees for over-seventy fives would be reviewed. 'The concession, as it's currently formulated, comes to an end in June 2020. We, the board, have got to decide what to replace it with,' he told MPs. It could continue or be reformed, he added. The BBC was mindful that those over sixty five or seventy five 'consume many, many more BBC services than others,' he said, adding: 'There is real hardship among some, or many, of those over-seventy fives too.' MPs heard that the BBC has so far paid one hundred and forty three thousand knicker in damages and eight hundred and fifty thousand smackers in costs to Richard - for the dreadful crime of reporting the news. It has also paid five hundred and fifteen thousand notes in costs to South Yorkshire police. But follow-up hearings to deal with the singer's specific claims in relation to financial loss were 'ongoing,' Hall said. Hall said that his own view of the BBC coverage, which used a helicopter to fly over the Richard's Berkshire home to film a police raid on the property in 2014, was that 'we overdid it. I think the helicopter was overdoing it. It was something to report but down the bulletin,' he said. Officers from the South Yorkshire force were investigating a historical sexual assault allegation made against Richard, who was not arrested or charged with any offence. The BBC decided not to appeal against the ruling in the case brought by the singer. Hall said that the judge took the view privacy was more important than public interest. 'I felt the case itself was not one I was happy to go to appeal on because of the way I thought we overdid it, to be blunt with you,' Hall said. The legal advice was it was 'very unlikely' the BBC would win an appeal, he continued, adding it would cost more money and prolong Richard's ordeal. But, Hall added that parliament 'needed to clarify this issue' over reporting, 'which I don't think is for judges to decide. The policy issue is at what point does the balance between the freedom to know and information outweigh the individual's right to privacy. And that is very complex,' he told the committee. He said that he was out of the country at the time of the raid and not involved in decision making on the story. Hall said that he had approached Richard to suggest they sat down and tried to 'sort this out without going to court. Sadly, but I guess understandably, the legal view came back which was: "We don't want to talk. We are prepared to settle if you say you've acted illegally." But I don't think we acted illegally.' Hall also told MPs that the BBC had lost some of its biggest names partly because their pay had been published. Radio 2 DJ Chris Evans recently announced that he is to join Virgin Radio, while former Radio 4 PM host Eddie Mair has joined LBC. MPs heard the BBC was dealing with 'just over two hundred' cases involving equal pay through an informal process and that sixty eight formal grievances were outstanding. 'We are seeking to answer these historic issues as quickly as possible in a proactive, open way,' Anne Bulford, the Deputy Director General, told the committee. Before giving evidence to the committee, Hall said that the BBC was planning to streamline its online presence after 'internal research' found 'just a handful' of its numerous platforms accounted for ninety per cent of its audience. In future it will focus on its main core services: iPlayer, news, weather, sport, children's programming, the study resource Bitesize and the audio and music app Sounds, which is to replace iPlayer Radio. 'In the global marketplace against well-resourced competition, we have to concentrate on a smaller number of stand out services that deliver our very best content online,' Hall said in a speech to BBC employees in Salford. The BBC Earth and BBC Arts sections of the website will be removed and there will be fewer features as well as less focus on 'celebrity gossip.' So, that's some good news anyway. The cull of services comes as the BBC attempts to overcome the challenge posed by services such as YouTube and Netflix.
Danny Boyle has called on film-makers and writers to 'reach around the hollow cavern' of Brexit to ensure that British TV and film continues to be seen as amongst the best in the world. The director said that working on his most recent production, the ten-part television drama Trust, which starts on BBC2 next week, had made him more determined to work with European production companies. 'The series is set in 1973, the year in which we joined Europe, so there was something ironic about the fact we were making it with the knowledge we were going to leave,' Boyle said. 'It just seemed more and more insane to us, especially as we were making it with this wonderful Italian co-production company. I can only hope that film-makers, writers, journalists will try to build around this. Airline companies certainly will, as will businesses. Right now it feels as though something has been severed and we’re adrift but I hope that people will try to compensate for this terrible void that's been created for us by politicians.'Trust, which tells the story of the kidnapping of John Paul Getty III, the grandson of the then richest man in the world, marks Boyle's return to TV, his first project since directing the pilot of the 2014 police drama Babylon. Trust was written by Simon Beaufoy, who worked with Boyle on Slumdog Millionaire and One Hundred & Twenty Seven Hours and stars Donald Sutherland as John Paul Getty, Hillary Swank as Gail Getty, the kidnapped teenager's mother and Brendan Fraser as the fixer called in to sort everything out. Beaufoy said that he was interested in the story because of the 'baroque level of dysfunction' within the Getty family. 'On the face of it, it seems like a small story about a rich kid who gets kidnapped, but the more I dug the more I found out about this family,' he said. 'The idea that three generations of this family had passed down this terrible absence of love from one generation to another was really compelling and I became increasingly fascinated by the idea that this kidnapping was the pivot around which you could tell the story of the richest family in the world and what unhappiness all that money bought to them.' Boyle said that the Gettys were 'the first family to become a media story, a soap opera in the way that all rich families now are soap operas and we're addicted to reading about them.' The pair had already begun working on Trust when news broke that All The Money In The World, a film covering the same events and directed by Ridley Scott, was being made. 'You always see these stories about people in Hollywood doing two similar projects at the same time and it always strikes you as being ridiculous: why haven't they got together and sorted it out?' said Boyle. 'But really, we were already halfway down the runway when we found out that Ridley was planning his film.' Boyle said he watched Scott's movie after he had finished shooting Trust. 'Oh God, of course I went to see it. It's very, very enjoyable and bizarre seeing the same locations occasionally. If you think too much about two similar projects then eventually you start to go mad. You just have to hope that there's enough difference in the two stories that they'll be worthy of whichever one people select.' The major difference between the two projects lies in Trust's suggestion that the young John Paul Getty III (played by Harris Dickinson) was in on his own kidnapping, an action partially borne out of financial desperation and partially out of a teenager's desire to know he was wanted. 'It's not really that controversial an idea,' said Beaufoy. 'A book came out not that long ago in which one of his girlfriends admitted it. There were lots of clues already suggesting that it might be the case, but she outright says it and that played into something which was so fascinating – the idea that this is a story not so much about money as about love and how people have tried to replace a lack of love with money and what a flawed and desperate notion that is.' Working in television rather than film allowed them to take risks, including making an episode entirely in Italian and told from the point of view of the kidnappers and directed by Emanuele Crialese. 'TV really emboldens you to do slightly challenging things like that, whereas film always seems slightly risk-averse because they're putting all their money on the roulette wheel every time,' Beaufoy said. Boyle agreed: 'You feel with TV that they've already earned the money and are now spending it, rather than the other way round.' He said that 'prestige TV' owed a huge debt to the BBC. 'Artistically I think that having tried to destroy the BBC they're now all following it.'
The head of US media giant CBS, Les Moonves, has 'resigned with immediate effect' following allegations of sexual misconduct against him. CBS had been investigating Moonves since allegations appeared in the New Yorker in July - and fresh accusations from six more women appeared on Sunday. Moonves, denies the allegations, calling the latest 'appalling.' Which, if untrue, they are. And, indeed, if true, they also are. In a statement CBS said that twenty million dollars would be paid immediately in support of the Me Too movement. It said that 'one or more organisations' which supported Me Too and female workplace equality stood to benefit, but did not specify which. The donation has been deducted from any severance benefits which may be due to Moonves - the amount of which is pending the results of 'an ongoing independent investigation' into his conduct. The latest allegations appear in a new article in the New Yorker by Ronan Farrow, who also authored the July piece and this year shared a Pulitzer Prize for detailing assault accusations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. The six women in the latest piece allege sexual harassment or assault by Moonves between the 1980s and the first decade of this century. Some allege that he forced them to perform oral sex or exposed himself without their consent. Some say that he damaged their careers when they rebuffed him. TV executive Phyllis Golden-Gottlieb and writer Jessica Pallingston are two of the women who give graphic descriptions of the misconduct they accuse Moonves of carrying out. Under Moonves' leadership, CBS has been the most-watched network in the US. He developed hits like CSI and The Big Bang Theory, while his sixty nine million dollars earnings in 2017 made him one of the highest paid chief executives in the world. His tenure at the top of CBS, which he joined in 1995, has been marked by a power struggle with Shari Redstone who, through her family's business National Amusements, is the controlling shareholder in both CBS and the media conglomerate, Viacom. Redstone and Moonves had been engaged in a court battle as he tried to thwart her plan to merge CBS and Viacom. But the announcement of Moonves' departure came at the same time as CBS said it was ending legal action against National Amusements. For its part, National Amusements said that it would not seek a merger between the two companies 'for the next two years.' In a statement it announced that Moonves would step down as chairman, president and CEO 'with immediate effect.' Joseph Ianniello will serve as president and acting CEO. The Financial Times said Moonves was resigning because this would entitle him to a hefty severance package, including stock options. US media said the resignation package for Moonves could amount to one hundred million bucks. However, CBS said that he would not receive any severance benefits until the result of an independent investigation into him. In a separate move, six directors have stepped down and six new ones have been elected. Moonves issued a statement on Sunday saying: 'Untrue allegations from decades ago are now being made against me that are not consistent with who I am.' The New Yorker quoted a statement in which he says: 'The appalling accusations in this article are untrue. What is true is that I had consensual relations with three of the women some twenty five years ago before I came to CBS. And I have never used my position to hinder the advancement or careers of women. In my forty years of work, I have never before heard of such disturbing accusations.' A further six women also accused Moonves earlier this year. All of them said that they believed their careers had suffered because they rejected his advances. At the time Moonves said he 'may have made some women uncomfortable' in the past, adding: 'Those were mistakes and I regret them immensely. But I always understood and respected that "no" means "no". On Monday, CBS This Morning presenter Norah O'Donnell told viewers that 'he's my boss - or he was my boss - and that makes it hard to comment on it.' She discussed her conversation over the weekend with co-host Gayle King about how it had been less than a year since their fellow CBS presenter, Charlie Rose, resigned amid sexual misconduct allegations against him. She then turned to the camera and said: 'There is no excuse for this alleged behaviour. It is systemic and it is pervasive in our culture. And this I know this is true to the core of my being: Women cannot achieve equality in the workplace or society until there is a reckoning and a taking of responsibility.'
The BBC has announced that it will be re-releasing Douglas Adams'The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy next month. The award-winning 1981 TV adaptation of Adams' radio series and novels will hit DVD and Blu-ray on 1 October in a remastered set along with an impressive array of new features and archive footage.
Odious full-of-his-own-importance berk Jamie Oliver reportedly chased a man down the street after the man attempted to burgle the chef's house in North London. According to witnesses, the chef pinned the man down while waiting for police to arrive last Tuesday evening. It is understood that the man had attempted to break into other houses on the street where Oliver, his wife and five children were all home at the time. Oliver confirmed to the BBC the incident had taken place and, the BBC claimed, 'looked shaken when recalling the event.' Asked on Monday about the ordeal, Oliver was reluctant to comment in detail but told the BBC: 'It's not a situation you want to get involved with, it was what it was and it ended okay.' A spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police told the BBC News website: 'Police were called to reports of an aggressive male attempting to gain entry to residential addresses in N6. The male was apprehended by members of the public and was subsequently detained by police. He was taken to a North London police station and was subsequently released with no further action.' It is not known why the man was released, but press reports suggested that it could be due to a lack of evidence or to the suspect having mental health problems. An alleged neighbour allegedly told the Daily Mirra: 'It was just a brave, selfless thing to do. Everyone is really thankful for his quick thinking and courage.'
If it does launch as currently scheduled in 2021, it will already be fourteen years late. When finally in position, though - orbiting the Sun one-and-a-half million kilometres from Earth - NASA's James Webb Space Telescope promises an astronomical revolution. The US space agency boasts that it will, quite literally, 'look back in time to see the very first galaxies that formed in the early Universe.' As if those claims were not bold enough, scientists have now surmised that the eventual successor to the Hubble Space Telescope may - thanks to its six-and-a-half metre golden mirror and sensitive cameras - have another extraordinary talent. The JWST may be able to look for signs of alien life - detecting whether atmospheres of planets orbiting nearby stars are being modified by that life. Despite this, the project to build it narrowly survived cancellation by the US Government in 2011. That was in no small part down to its (perhaps appropriately) astronomical cost - an estimated ten billion dollars rather than its originally planned one billion. Back on Earth, however, astronomers - including the University of Washington team who proposed 'life-detection' observations using the telescope - are unerringly thrilled at the prospect of its launch. University of Washington astronomer Joshua Krissansen-Totton and his team have looked into whether the telescope could detect signs of what they call 'biosignatures' in the atmospheres of planets that are orbiting a nearby star. 'We could do these life-detection observations in the next few years,' says Krissansen-Totton. The basis for this search may lie in JWST being so sensitive to light that it could pick up so-called 'atmospheric chemical disequilibrium.' It may not be a catchy term, but it is an idea with a long heritage, promoted by celebrated scientists James Lovelock and Carl Sagan. The reasoning is that if all life on Earth disappeared tomorrow, the many gases which make up our atmosphere would undergo natural chemical reactions and the atmosphere would slowly revert to a different chemical mixture. It is continually held away from this state by organisms on our planet expelling waste gases as they live. Because of this, searching for signs of oxygen (or its chemical cousin, ozone) has long been thought to be a good way of finding life. But this does rest on the assumption that extraterrestrial life runs by the same biological rules as our own. However, it may not. Therefore, assessing atmospheric chemical disequilibrium - looking for other gases and figuring out how far out of kilter from 'normal' a planet's atmosphere sits - could be key to finding alien life of any kind. The chemical make-up of the atmosphere of a planet orbiting another star can be measured in light by carefully measuring the minuscule dip in starlight as the planet passes between us and the star during the planet's orbit. The gases in the planet's atmosphere cause the light reduction to vary with the wavelength - or colour - of light, revealing information about how much of each chemical is present. Krissansen-Totton simulated the data that would be obtained if JWST were to look at planets orbiting a small Jupiter-sized star called TRAPPIST-1, about thirty nine light-years away from the Sun. This star caused a sensation in 2017 when it was discovered to host seven roughly Earth-sized planets, several of which could possess liquid water and hence might be a good bet for hosting life. The Washington researcher predicts that James Webb could measure the amounts of methane and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere of the fourth planet, TRAPPIST-1e, from the dips in light at wavelengths affected by these gases. It would be a tough measurement of an unimaginably tiny signal, but Cornell University astronomer Professor Jonathan Lunine is excited by the prediction, saying 'they make the case that this can really be done with JWST.' Once the measurement is made, though, Krissansen-Totton explains, 'you can then ask the question: do we know of any non-biological processes that could produce that effect?' Planetary atmospheres, including our own, he points out, can also be modified by non-biological processes, such as volcanic activity. So, if the atmosphere of TRAPPIST-1e was found to be awry, researchers would then need to rule out any non-biological effects before declaring the existence of extraterrestrial life. Krissansen-Totton says that 'that kind of confirmation is going to require multiple observations, to really make a totally solid case. But if we detect something that we don't have an alternative explanation for, I think that would be an incredibly exciting discovery.' For now, the telescope's mirror remains securely locked in a lab in California and astronomers must continue to wait for these possibilities to be explored. JWST will be joining a host of new facilities that will subject planets around other stars to some serious scrutiny over the next few decades. Huge ground-based telescopes in Hawaii and Chile are also planned and the European Space Agency's UK-led Ariel mission, designed to probe the atmospheres of planets around other stars, will blast off in the late 2020s. Lunine says: 'I think that we're in a remarkable time for understanding our Universe and exploring the cosmos and James Webb is going to take the next step in that. It is going to be truly worth it.' Professor Gillian Wright, principal scientist on the telescope's UK-led Mid-InfraRed instrument, agrees. 'We've never had access to something this big in space before,' she says. 'To say a telescope will open up new windows on the Universe sounds kind-of cliched, but with James Webb it's really true.' JWST is led by NASA but is a joint venture with the European and Canadian space agencies.
The first known studio recording of the late David Bowie has sold for nearly forty grand - four times the estimate. The 1963 demo tape, rejected by Decca, features a sixteen-year-old Bowie - then known as David Jones - singing 'I Never Dreamed' with first band The Kon-Rads. The eighteen-minute recording was sold by the band's drummer David Hadfield, who had discovered it in a bread basket in his loft. Omega Auctions said it sold for a total of thirty nine thousand three hundred and sixty knicker after 'a bidding frenzy.' Amongst people with more money than sense, seemingly. Certainly if the twenty second clip of a - not particularly well-recorded version of a pleasant enough but hardly Earth-shattering Beatlesque pop song featured on the BBC News website is anything to go by. Omega had estimated it would reach ten grand. The Director of Omega Auctions, Karen Fairweather, said the recording was the last lot of the day and it had already reached eleven thousand smackers in pre-bidding before the auction even began. The bidding was fierce between two overseas collectors, who did not attend in person, before the winning bid was made. 'There was certainly applause when the hammer went down,' she said. 'It's a fantastic piece of history.' Auctioneer Paul Fairweather described the tape as a 'significant recording, completely unique.' He said that it 'offers new insight' into Bowie as 'a fledgling musician who would go on to super-stardom.' Promotional sketches made by Bowie from when he was in The Kon-Rads, along with photographs and band documents, sold for over seventeen thousand knicker and an early 1963 poster of the band went for six thousand notes. All prices include buyers' premium. Bowie was The Kon-Rads' saxophonist but it was decided that he should sing lead vocals for the tape. Hadfield said: 'David had no inclination to become a singer at this point, his heart and mind were focused on becoming a world-class saxophone player. Our agent, Eric Easton, who also managed The Rolling Stones, asked us to do a demo so he could try and get us an audition at Decca. We had decided that we would do a couple of guitar instrumentals and one original song. Decca initially turned us down, but when they eventually gave us an audition later that year, vocalist Roger Ferris was the lead voice and David sang backing harmonies.' Bowie left the band shortly after the audition.
Kirstie Allsopp has left Twitter after facing 'a fierce backlash' when she admitted that she had smashed her children's iPads over her gaming rules. Parents 'slammed' (that's tabloidese for 'criticised' only with less syllables) the full-of-herself TV presenter online after she revealed that she broke her sons' devices when they played games outside their permitted time. Criticism soon flooded onto social media, with many people calling her 'privileged' and 'absurd.' Neither, to be fair, an entirely inaccurate description of Allsopp. Her Twitter account has since been deleted. And, the most remarkable thing about this entirely malarkey is that this rank and utter horseshit constitutes 'news', apparently. 'Self-important woman says something stupid, gets criticised for it, decides not to use her computer. More news at ten.' When, exactly, did the world go completely mad, dear blog reader?
Reality TV-type person Nadia Essex - no, me neither - has been extremely sacked from Z-List Celebs Go Dating for alleged 'Twitter trolling.' The 'dating expert' (whatever the fek that entails) who has appeared in the E4 show since its launch in 2016, is set to miss the rest of filming for series five. Her former co-host, Eden Blackman, quit the show after its fourth series, reportedly over a fall out with Essex. A show spokeswoman told BBC News: 'Nadia has been suspended following improper use of social media.' Whilst Z-List Celebs Go Dating has not confirmed the exact details behind Essex's suspension, the Sun alleges it was revealed that she had set up fake accounts to send abusive messages on social media. Blackman has also spoken on her suspension and linked to an article on his own Twitter account which alleged that Essex's trolling was directed at him. Essex is yet to release a statement about the suspension and the social media allegations.
The latest From The North Headline Of The Week award goes to BBC News for Boris Johnson Says May's Brexit Plan 'Worse Than Status Quo'. This blogger likes it, dear blog reader. He likes it, he likes it, he la-la-la-likes it ...
The British Grand Prix will be shown live on both Channel Four and Sky in 2019, as part of a new partnership between the broadcasters. Channel Four has also secured highlights of all races, while Sky will carry every race live on its subscription-only F1 channel. Alex Mahon, chief executive of Channel Four, said that she was 'delighted' with the 'exciting and innovative partnership.' Sky chief executive Stephen van Rooyen added: 'Today's partnership is the start of a new era of collaboration between Sky, Channel Four and, we hope, other British broadcasters.' As part of the deal, Channel Four will screen series one of the Sky drama Tin Star, while Channel Four box sets will be available to Sky customers.
The BBC says that it has worked out how to eliminate 'streaming lag,' which causes live TV to be delayed by several seconds when watched online. Many online viewers of the World Cup in the summer heard neighbours cheering goals which they had not yet seen happen, because the online stream was a few seconds behind the TV broadcast. BBC Research & Development said it has now managed to eliminate the delay. However, its software is not ready to be rolled out to the public yet. Live TV watched online is often behind by several seconds because it takes longer to reliably send video over the Internet than to broadcast it. The issue has also affected Amazon's broadcast of the US Open tennis tournament. Analysts from streaming firm Phenix said that the online broadcast was often up to forty five seconds behind the TV transmission. When video is streamed online it is broken up into small packets, which are reassembled by the recipient's device. If each segment is very short, processing them becomes inefficient. However, if they are too long, there is more of a delay between the TV broadcast and online stream. The BBC said it 'found ways' to create smaller segments that can be 'passed through the system more quickly.' It said viewers of the resulting online streams would see action 'at the same time as they would see it if they were watching on TV.''With sport, it's irritating if you're watching something that is twenty or forty seconds behind live TV,' said Jake Bickerton, technology editor at the industry magazine Broadcast. 'The BBC also did trials at the World Cup streaming 4K [ultra high-definition] HDR content. Not only was there a delay, but consumers had to have really good broadband at home. It isn't going to be simple to get something compressed to a point where it can get to viewers at home through broadband very quickly. If the BBC is able to reduce latency, then it's a great thing going forward.' The innovation will be on show at the International Broadcasting Convention, which starts on Thursday in the Netherlands. However, the BBC said it would need the co-operation of the whole broadcasting industry to get the system up and running. It suggested the technology may be available by the time of the next World Cup in 2022 and could be delivered to existing equipment with a software update.
London Stadium's owners want West Hamsters United to retract a claim that they 'deliberately misled' the public when stating the Hamsters' rent 'does not even cover the cost of matches.' The London Legacy Development Corporation said on Friday that it faces 'ninety seven years of losses' partly due to 'low rents' paid by West Hamsters. The Hamsters disputed this, also claiming that they contribute a total of ten million knicker a year in revenue, including rent. However, the LLDC says this is 'wrong.' It claims that the club 'pays us around three million pounds a season,' adding: 'It remains a fact that the West Ham usage fee does not cover event-day costs.' Following last week's LLDC appearance before the London Assembly, the Hamsters released a statement in which they criticised its 'strategy to point the finger at West Ham United.' The club claimed that it was 'concerned the public and, more importantly, taxpayers' were 'being deliberately misled' over the long-running financial struggles of a stadium which was built for the London Olympics in 2012. In July, it was revealed that four hundred and fifty thousand smackers of taxpayers' money had been spent on unsuccessfully searching for a sponsor for the venue, which cost three hundred and twenty three million notes to convert into a football ground after an original estimate of one hundred and ninety million quid. A letter sent by LLDC chairman Sir Peter Hendy on Monday in response to West Hamsters' statement read: 'This is an extremely serious and damaging statement to make against public officials appearing before elected assembly members and we will be asking West Ham to retract the claim.' The letter adds: 'Their claim that we enjoy ten million pounds from our association with West Ham is simply wrong and the money we generate from West Ham does not cover the cost of putting on the match days. We are not pointing the finger at West Ham for this, it is just a fact and something we have to deal with. We also said that the West Ham contract was just one area which caused financial problems for the stadium. The others we laid before members included the cost of seat moves from football to athletics and back again, our contract with UK Athletics and the stadium operator and high running costs. These are all areas we are tackling and making progress in getting on to a sound financial footing.' West Hamsters subsequently refused to retract their claim that public is being 'misled' over London Stadium finances.
Blunderland's chairman, Stewart Donald, has said that the club's record thirteen-and-a-half million knicker signing Didier Ndong remains absent without leave and revealed that lawyers for the club are examining whether it is possible to sue Ndong and his teammate Papy Djilobodji for allegedly 'deliberately devaluing themselves.' Djilobodji, an eight million notes former Moscow Chelski FC centre-half, had permission to miss pre-season training in July but the twenty nine-year-old, allegedly, 'failed to clock in last month' and to Wearside returned only last week, when tests indicated that his fitness levels were 'significantly sub-standard.' Ndong, meanwhile, a twenty four-year-old Gabon international signed from Lorient two years ago, last week posted poolside pictures of himself on Instagram, though they have since been deleted. And, despite the unseasonably hot weather we've been having in the UK of late, it appears that the photos were not taken in or anywhere remotely near Blunderland. The pair's failure to report for duty at the League One club is believed to have been informed by 'a mutually cynical desire to force down their values' to the point where Blunderland would be forced to either terminate their contracts, thereby leaving them free agents, or sell them for minimal fees according to the Gruniad Morning Star. If true, this could have enabled both players to command higher wages than they could otherwise expect at any potential new club and would explain why the duo have stayed away despite The Mackems withholding their wages. 'I'm certain we're allowed to fine them,' Donald told Talksport on Tuesday. 'But the question is whether they've done enough in breach of their contracts [for us] to terminate their contracts and pursue them for wilfully devaluing themselves. Didier Ndong has shown no interest in returning to the football club whatsoever. We don't even know where he is. Papy has returned but in his last conversation [before coming back] he said: "You'll never see me in Sunderland again."' For which attitude, hey, you can't blame the lad to be fair. Like Ndong, though, Djilobodji has a problem - although both players' agents strove to find them new clubs during the summer, a series of potential sales and loan moves foundered. 'Just because they can't move now we don't think they've behaved well enough for us to say, "All right, we'll pay you,"' Donald added, 'never mind play them, because neither of them are in condition to play.'Initially a compromise with Dilobodji had seemed close. 'We gave Papy Djilobodji permission to not be with us in July, when he said he wouldn't turn up if we didn't pay him, so he could find another club,' said Donald. 'We gave him some guidelines to keep himself fit to make sure he was up with the pre-season standards but he didn't turn up in August [when he was supposed to if a new club hadn’t been identified] and neither player found a new club. There's an obligation on players to turn up in a condition in which you can play football and the reality of it is that I would probably have beaten [Djilobodji's] stats when he returned. He was unfortunately way off what everyone else is and then didn't turn up for the next training session. When you've not turned up for seventy two days and missed eight games of the season and you come up in a condition which means you'll probably miss the next twelve games, I think that sort of says you're not really committed.' Caen, Hannover Ninety Six and Bursaspor all expressed an interest in Djilobodji, who spent last season on loan at Dijon with Blunderland thought to be paying two-thirds of his thirty two grand-a-week wages. Nice money if you can get it - or, indeed, if someone is stupid enough to pay you that for doing sod-all. Torino had a six-and-a-half million smackers offer for the twenty five grand-a-week Ndong accepted in June - but were unable to meet his staggering wage demands. He had asked to leave when The Mackem Filth were extremely relegated from the Premier League in 2017 but failed to play a single minute of football during a loan stint at Watford during the second-half of last season.
Maltby Main FC goalkeeper James Pollard made 'two fabulous saves' in quick succession during his side's two-one defeat by Frickley Athletic in the first round qualifying of the FA Cup captured by BBC camera. And, you can watch James' acrobatic here.
Shortly after half-time on Tuesday night in Elche, Spain's Marco Asensio, a young man on a mission, slid out a through-ball inviting his teammate Rodrigo to test his pace against Domagoj Vida and then his poise against Croatia's advancing goalkeeper, Lovre Kalinic. Rodrigo won both duels and, in doing so, converted the one hundredth goal of the UEFA Nations League. Across Europe, there would be another six to come that night, as a new competition closed out its largely successful arrival on the calendar of international football. There were some fetching headline stories, not least Spain's six-nil demolition of a Croatia who only two months ago were finalists at the World Cup. There was a high standard of entertainment, from Luxembourg to London. Goals came at a rate just under 2.3 per fixture, a shade less than the frequency enjoyed through Russia's much-applauded World Cup. But then that tournament did not have to put up with the party-poopers of Italy, who managed just one goal, a penalty against Poland, in their first two Nations League outings and a grand total of no shots at all on target from any of their strikers. If the hoped-for Italian renaissance evidently has a long way to run, the Nations League, greeted with some cynicism when it was proposed, looks like a boost for many, big and small. The intention had been to inject competitive edge into those dates on the diary usually filled by friendlies and to guarantee that European countries, whose priority over the season will still be the qualifiers for major tournaments - either the World Cup or European championship - have regular matches against nations of a similar standard. Spain's victory over Croatia and Switzerland's bruising of Iceland by the same six-nil scoreline might have fans wondering whether the gap between those teams has widened so alarmingly since the World Cup that the losers were not taking this September's work so seriously. But the jeopardy is genuine: the Croatians and Icelanders now face up to the prospect of relegation from Nations League A, the top bracket, unless they can bounce back next month. The verdict from most coaches on the Nations League has been positive. The contests were not allowed to meander into disjointed final half-hours by a rafts of substitutions, a condition that afflicts friendly games and the refereeing was largely rigorous, to which players responded. Witness the England abject outrage when the World Cup semi-finalists had what they supposed was a late equaliser in their two-one defeat to Spain at Wembley Stadium ruled out by whistle-happy clown. They seethed long into the post-match interview sessions. Had the loss happened in a friendly, tempers would have likely cooled long before then. Spain, whose national team are in a need of a major boost, will already be eyeing a place in the mini-tournament that gives this novel event its showpiece climax, a pair of semi-finals and a final in June. So may France, the world champions, after taking four points from their games against Germany and the Netherlands. But it is down football's food-chain that the real benefits of the Nations League are felt. Here, in League's B, C, D the carrot of a possible place in the play-offs for the 2020 European Championship finals - a backstop option, if you like, in case the normal qualifying for that event goes awry - is a real motivator and the opportunities to measure progress against teams of a similar ranking is a bonus. This, for example, has been a terrific week for Andorra, with their Nations League draws against Latvia and Kazakhstan, the latter one-one thanks to an eighty sixth minute equaliser from Jordi Alvaez, whose only previous goals for his country had been achieved on sand. He also plays beach football for Andorra. His strike on Tuesday was a grand moment in the mountains. Some context: In fifty European championship qualifiers over the last twenty years, Andorra, always the lowest seeds in their groups, have never won so much as a single point. Yet the tiny Pyrennean state had believed they were developing real nous in international football. It looks like they are. Last month's goalless draw in a friendly against the UAE had hinted at progress and that has now been confirmed. 'The Nations League has been a great idea,' said Koldo Alvarez, Andorra's head coach and, as their former goalkeeper, a man who spent eleven years stretching in vain to reach shots from Europe's superstar strikers. He will be taking his team to Georgia and Kazakhstan next month for the kind of team-talks that were never possible before. He will tell his players that they really can dream of a possible route to the next European Championships.
Meanwhile, Liechtenstein won their first competitive football fixture at home in seven years last week when they beat Gibraltar two-nil at the Rheinpark Stadion, home to FC Vaduz, in a UEFA Nations League D Group Four game. So, good for them.
A Premier League footballer has been charged with raping a schoolgirl in France after allegedly lying to police about having sex with the then fifteen-year-old because he, allegedly, 'did not want to upset his girlfriend.' The twenty three-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is currently on bail awaiting trial along with his cousin, who is now twenty five, over the alleged attack in the city of Nimes, a court heard. Both men, who could face jail terms of up to fifteen years, deny charges of raping the unidentified victim, who was 'found in tears and deep shock' by school friends after the alleged rape in July 2012, according to legal sources. There are reportedly to be 'no immediate restrictions' on his playing career, although he is constant touch with detectives and lawyers in France. The girl was fifteen at the time of the alleged incident – the minimum of age of consent in France – and claims that she was forced into sex by her assailants, who were then seventeen and nineteen. Neither of the men are French, but they were on holiday together at a campsite in Aigues-Mortes, which is thirty miles South of Nimes, and close to the Mediterranean coast. At first the footballer denied having sex with the girl. When evidence was produced by police investigators, he changed his story saying: 'I didn't want to upset my girlfriend.' Now the defendants say that they had consensual sex with their accuser and always thought she was older than fifteen. She has admitted to being drunk on 18 July 2012 – the day of the alleged incident – saying the accused plied her with alcoholic drinks to make her more interested in sex. Friends reportedly found her crying just before 6am the next morning, when she described the footballer as 'pretentious and a bastard.' So, that could, basically, be any Premier League footballer. He is thought to have already signed professional terms at the time. According to the girl and her friends, the defendants knew her age because she had explained to him she could not go to the campsite disco 'because she was only fifteen years old.' After changing his story, the footballer told judges that the girl 'had consented to sex' in a tent, but was threatened with legal action in a Nimes youth court. The complainant, who is now twenty one, has not changed her story, say prosecuting sources. When the defendants reached the age of eighteen, the complaints were transferred to the jurisdiction of the Nimes Assizes. Both men appeared before judges in July and have been bailed to return on a date to be fixed. Remy Nougier, the barrister defending the footballer and his cousin, said that he had 'appealed the elevation' of the case to the higher court and that his clients 'vigorously contest the accusations.' In March, French officials announced plans to fix the legal age of sexual consent at fifteen, meaning sex with someone younger than that would automatically be considered as rape.
Jimmy Anderson took the final wicket of the international summer to become the most successful fast bowler in test cricket and secure a one hundred and eighteen-run victory for England in the fifth test against India at The Oval. The thirty six-year-old bowled Mohammed Shami to claim his five hundred and sixty fourth test wicket, surpassing the record of Australia's Glenn McGrath. It secured a four-one series victory for England, who were held up for much of the fifth day by centuries from KL Rahul and Rishabh Pant. However, a stunning leg-break from Adil Rashid dismissed Rahul as the tourists fell from three hundred and twenty five for five to three hundred and forty five all out. Anderson drew level with McGrath's total with two quick wickets on Monday evening, but he - and England - could not force victory on Tuesday until into the final session. Rahul and Pant's two hundred and four-run stand gave India faint hope of an improbable victory and of a more likely draw, but Rashid dismissed both players in successive overs to put England on top. The final three wickets fell quickly: Ishant Sharma and Ravindra Jadeja both edged Sam Curran behind before Anderson bowled Shami with a full, straight delivery. The players were then led off the field by Alastair Cook in his final test match for England. 'The last two days will live long in the memory,' ex-England captain Michael Vaughan said on Test Match Special . What a week we have had and what a series it has been.' Anderson's emotion on passing McGrath's record was evident - the pace bowler teared up as he and Cook left the field - and he finished the series as the leading wicket-taker with twenty four wickets in five tests. 'I'm trying not to cry,' Anderson told TMS. 'It's been a special achievement for me. It's not something I've aimed for. I've just enjoyed playing for England - it's an amazing job.' When asked about Cook's retirement, Anderson added: 'It's been difficult. He's a very good mate of mine and he's helped me through a lot of my career. He's been there as a friend for me. I'll miss him.' It has been a strange series for England - while they have beaten the number one side in the world, there are still a few lingering questions over the make-up of their side. They need, once again, to find an opener, although this time it is to replace Cook rather than his - clearly struggling - partner Keaton Jennings, while there are still questions over the top order. Jennings averages 18.11 from nine innings in this series, while Joe Root started the series batting at three and ended it at four - Moeen Ali having been brought back into the team and promptly pushed up the order. Sam Curran, named the man of the series, is a positive for the hosts, having taken eleven wickets and scored two hundred and seventy two runs in the four tests he played whilst the batting form of Jos Buttler, Ben Stokes, Ali and, before injury, Chris Woakes were positively. Nevertheless, Root's side need to shore up their batting before the winter tour of Sri Lanka - particularly given England's struggles away from home in recent times. Although Anderson took the wicket that sealed the match, it was a superb delivery from Rashid that ended the frustrating sixth-wicket partnership between Pant and Rahul. Rashid was overlooked for long periods in the morning and afternoon session and, when he did bowl, he struggled for control against India's two attacking batsmen. Pant, in particular, tried to dominate Rashid, hitting him for three sixes - one of which brought up his century. With the new ball available after tea, the leg-spinner may have been expected to be taken out of the attack. However, Root opted to persist with him - and with the old ball - and he was rewarded when the Yorkshire leg-spinner produced a stunning delivery that turned extravagantly after pitching outside leg to hit the top of Rahul's off stump. Former England batsman Geoffrey Boycott, speaking on Test Match Special, said the delivery was reminiscent of a Shane Warne ball. The leg-spinner then dismissed the second centurion, with Pant hoicking the ball down to Moeen at long-off. Given India's loose batting at times in this series, it may have been surprising to some that they were able to take the game into the final session. But England let the game drift: Anderson and Broad both opened the bowling and were not seen again until the mid-afternoon. Anderson's reintroduction in the sixty eighth over was greeted with the biggest cheer of the day. Broad's omission from the attack may have been due to his broken rib, an after-effect of the blow he took when batting in the first innings, but Anderson's absence, given his potency in this series, seemed odd. That India got so close to England's target was entirely down to Rahul and Pant, who batted with intelligence and aggression throughout the day. Moeen lacked penetration in the afternoon session while Rashid continually dropped short when eventually asked to bowl. Pant in particular played some eye-catching strokes. He brought up his century in fitting style, getting down on one knee and launching Rashid over deep mid-wicket and into the stands. Rahul, too, opted for the aerial route, smearing Stokes over extra cover for six before flat-batting the same bowler down the pitch for four to bring up his own ton. The two also started quickly after tea as they reached their two hundred-run stand, but they were unable to keep out Rashid as he found his line. Despite the result, this has been a largely competitive series - and India have looked a much-improved side compared to the one that toured here four years ago.
Always remember, dear blog reader, no matter how bad - how utterly terrible - your life may seem at times, it could be much, much worse. You could, for example, be a passenger in this car.
The actor Peter Benson, who played Bernie Scripps in the popular ITV series Heartbeat for eighteen years, has died, his manager said. Benson died aged seventy five on Thursday after a short illness. In the popular long-running police drama set in the 1960s, Peter played a funeral director who got into a variety of disastrous money-making schemes. He appeared in all eighteen series of Heartbeat from 1992 and also in its spin-off series, The Royal. Benson also played Henry Tulip in the opening episode of the BBC comedy The Blackadder and appeared more recently in the hospital drama, Casualty. He was memorable as Bor, one of The Vani guards, in the 1983 Doctor Who story Terminus getting several of the best lines in Stephen Gallagher's witty script. 'Am I dead yet?' he asks one of his colleagues as the effects of radiation poisoning take effect. When told that, in fact, he is not, he replies: 'Funny, I could have sworn that ... Still, it's a relief. I'm hoping for something rather better on the other side!' He played Henry VI for the 1983 BBC production of Shakespeare's Hollow Crown trilogy. He featured in the ITV soap opera Albion Market and the notorious BBC drama on the life of Pope Alexander VI, The Borgias. Other lines on his CV included roles in The Bill, Trinity Tales, The Devil's Crown, Will Shakespeare, Maria Marten Or Murder In The Red Barn, Tenko, Have His Carcass, Boys from The Bush, Paul Merton: The Series, Merlin and Coronation Street as well as the movies The First Great Train Robbery, Cry of The Banshee, Roman Polanski's Tess and Hawk The Slayer. As well as his TV work, Peter was also a skilled singer, dancer and theatre actor.
The actress Fenella Fielding has died at the age of ninety after suffering a stroke. Fielding's career spanned seven decades and she was best known for appearing in two of the Carry On movies. The name Fenella Fielding will prompt a smile on the face of just about anyone over the age of forty. They will be thinking, of course, of that defining role in Carry on Screaming!, one of the very best of the film comedy series, which pastiched Hammer horror films and saw Fielding win many male admirers for her vampish Valeria, purring seductively at Harry H Corbett's dim-witted copper. It's a properly great performance from Fielding but in some ways it's a shame that it is this for which she will be best remembered. She was, in fact, a serious actress remembered for a single, stand-out comic role.
Fenella survived a violent upbringing to play Ibsen, Shakespeare and Euripides on stage. As an artist, her sheer versatility captivated both Federico Fellini and Noel Coward. This was a woman of wit and wisdom who kept a copy of Plato beside the bed. She came to prominence in the Fifties when she appeared in Sandy Wilson's musical version of Valmouth and forged a varied theatrical career which included revue and many of the classics, including a stunning Hedda Gabler opposite Ian McKellen. Writing in the Independent in 2008, Robert Chalmers said: 'One of the mysteries of British life [is] that Fenella Fielding whose wit and distinctive stage presence captivated figures such as Kenneth Tynan, Noel Coward and Federico Fellini, should have drifted into obscurity rather than being celebrated.' Certainly after the Sixties, Fielding's career went into the doldrums early. Some of this can be attributed to her supreme choosiness, but there is also a hint that, perhaps, she was difficult to cast - too bound up with the public perception: eccentric and highly theatrical. When she did appear on film and TV, it was often in roles that adhered to this image, such as the fatuous, celebrity-obsessed Mrs Hunter in the BBC's 1985 adaptation of Dickens'The Pickwick Papers. A particularly fallow period occurred from 1979 when she was swindled by her manager and was forced to sell her home. Her voice, however, velvety and commanding, did at least ensure some lucrative income. Back in 1967, she was the voice that hailed the villagers in The Prisoner. Patrick McGoohan reportedly told her to tone it down and 'not be too sexy.' Should found that difficult. At the start of the Twenty First Century, she began working with recording company, Savoy, on a number of readings including TS Eliot's Four Quartets and JG Ballard's Crash. The producer David Britton had been impressed by Fielding's voice and its 'subtext of menace.' There is a sense with this literary work that Fielding was fulfilling her intellectual ambitions - after all she had a reputation of holding her own with such thinkers of the day as the impresario Henry Donaldson and the journalist Jeffrey Bernard, with whom she had an affair.
But, for millions, that serious side is often forgotten. Instead, she will forever be Valeria - draped on a divan in a skin-tight scarlet dress; her voice oozing with sex appeal and sporting eyelashes like upturned claws. She turned down all future Carry On work but the die was cast. In the public mind, she was the quintessential Sixties femme fatale, delivering rich double entendres with lashings of false innocence. And sadly, as a performer, her career slowly drifted into obscurity almost as soon as she uttered her most immortal line. Fielding was known to be reclusive, but she did grant an interview to the Torygraph last year to promote her memoir - inevitably entitled, Do You Mind If I Smoke? - talking to Jasper Rees about the cruelty that she suffered at the hands of her father who managed a cinema in Silvertown and of how Kenneth Williams (her co-star both in revues and Carry On Screaming!) had a tendency to steal all the best lines. Rees noted how Fielding wore her hair 'styled exactly like the MGM publicity still of her in the 1966 film Drop Dead Darling.' And this, perhaps, is how we will remember Fenella, preserved in aspic. In reality, this crisp-voiced woman was a clever classical actress of rare intelligence. Fenella Marion Feldman was born in Hackney in 1927 - the youngest child of a Romanian mother and a Lithuanian father. The relationship with her parents was never easy, often strained and occasionally violent. As a toddler, she seemed to speak in gibberish. Her mother and father worried that she was failing to develop normal language skills until they chanced upon her in an animated conversation with a doll. 'I suppose,' she later wrote, 'I just didn't want to speak to my parents.'
The young Fenella harboured a burning desire to perform. She took ballet lessons and gave her youthful talent for comedy free rein in the annual end of year show - once memorably cavorting around the stage to the tune of 'Nobody Loves A Fairy When She's Forty'. Other parents, she bitterly noted, showered their children with fresh flowers after each performance; her own parents merely offered up the same basket of artificial blooms, year-after-year. It was hard not to take it to heart. As she entered her teens, life at home became darker. Her father - who could be charming in public - was a 'street angel, house devil,' she recalled who 'used to knock me about with his fists.' To make matters worse, her mother, she claimed, would 'egg him on.' Fenella thought the violence would pass, but it didn't - at least until she threatened to go to the police. She left school at sixteen and spent a year at St Martin's School of Art. Her parents were appalled that she might see naked men - or even worse, naked women - in class, which was bound to result in pregnancy and drug addiction. There were rows every morning. Eventually, they forced her to leave home. Still wanting to act, Fielding would hang around stage doors in the West End in the hope of bumping into Alec Guinness or Laurence Olivier. She won a two-year scholarship to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art - which pleased her mother and father greatly until it dawned on them that she might actually become an actress. Her mother began turning up at RADA at lunchtime, making a scene and insisting Fielding leave. 'Really, darling,' she would say, 'these common people!' After a while, the school quietly withdrew her funding. She considered going to university but her father told her he would 'rather see her dead at his feet.' Instead, she was dispatched to learn shorthand and typing. She found it soul destroying. In misery, Fielding downed seventy aspirin in a suicide attempt but changed her mind at the last minute. She swallowed pints of mustard water to induce vomiting after calling an all-night Boots to ask how to reverse the effects. She found digs in Mayfair run by friendly prostitutes. In 1952, she appeared in an amateur production at the London School of Economics alongside Ron Moody - then a mature student. Moody supported her ambition to become an actress, persuading her not to pack it in and train as a manicurist. She changed her name from Feldman to Fielding, pretended to be seven years younger than she actually was in order to compensate for her late start in showbusiness and began appearing in comedy revues.
By the end of the 1950s, she had made a name for herself in the musical Valmouth. It was quirky and, for the time, rather lurid - but Fielding's rave reviews led to an awkward reconciliation with her parents. Her mother turned up at the Lyric Theatre bearing a peace offering of sorts: a fried chicken. Next was Pieces Of Eight, a comedy revue written by the unlikely pairing of Peter Cook and Harold Pinter. Starring alongside her was Kenneth Williams - already firmly established as a household name from radio - who quickly proved to harbour a brittle ego under the thinnest of thin skins. When one review called Fielding a 'beautiful butterfly of comedy,' he reportedly exploded in rage. Encouraging her to ad lib, he ruthlessly stole all of her best lines. He became threatening and bluntly warned her not to steal his limelight. When Fielding extemporised the end of one sketch with the line 'the last one dead's a sissy,' there were hysterics. Williams went white and shrieked that she had 'called me a homosexual in front of the whole audience.''It was awful,' she later recalled. 'I'd never been so frightened in all my life.' Worse was to come as she branched out into film and television after making her small-screen debut in 1957 playing a prostitute in Rudolph Cartier's adaptation of The Magnificent Egotist part of the BBC's Sunday Night Theatre strand. In 1959, she appeared in Follow A Star alongside Norman Wisdom - whom she came to loathe. 'Not a very pleasant man,' she later said. 'Hand up your skirt first thing in the morning. Not exactly a lovely way to start a day's filming.' Socially, the 1960s could not have been more glamorous. Vidal Sassoon, personally, did her hair and the bohemian journalist Jeffrey Bernard took her on riotous club nights. She would sit and talk long into the night with the flamboyant artist Francis Bacon and the rest of that decade's rakish beau monde. Professionally, there were roles on television in the likes of The Avengers and regular appearances on the Saturday night satire show That Was The Week That Was. Her CV also included Destination Downing Street, International Detective, Tony Newley's The Strange World Of Gurney Slade, Danger Man and Saki. Her film appearances included working alongside Dirk Bogarde in Doctor In Love and Tony Curtis in Arrivederci, Baby! as well as Carry On Regardless, No Love For Johnnie, The Old Dark House and Lock Up Your Daughters! On stage, she pursued her first love, drama. The Times described her performance in the title role in Hedda Gabler as 'one of the experiences of a lifetime.' Fellini took her to Claridge's and offered to make a film where she starred as seven different incarnations of male desire. Unfortunately, she was already booked to do a stage season in Chichester so she turned him down - to the great disappointment of her agent. Then came the role which made her a legend. Carry On Screaming! reunited Fielding with with her old nemesis, Kenneth Williams. The filming took three weeks, made her hugely famous and - in many respects - her career never recovered. Reclining on a chaise longue, Fielding entices Harry H Corbett towards her. The eyes flutter and the voice purrs. 'Do you mind if I smoke?' she inquires seductively - before vast quantities of dry ice envelopes her. Half-a-century later, children would still shout that line at her in the street. She politely declined all invitations to appear in other Carry On films - including an offer to play the lead in Carry On Cleo - partly in an attempt to avoid being typecast by the success of Screaming! Instead, whilst Carry On Cleo was in production she was appearing as Cleopatra in a far more serious take on roughly the same story, the Theatre 625 play All The Conspirators: The Ides Of March. But, for the rest of her life, she struggled to escape Valeria.
The offers dried up and her on-screen career quietly slid away. She did Morecambe & Wise Christmas specials and some voice work for both the cult series, The Prisoner and a 1970 Magic Roundabout project - Dougal & The Blue Cat. But she didn't make another film for almost fifteen years. Fielding was rarely completely out of work, however. She continued on stage - with a string of well-reviewed provincial shows - in which she didn't have to play 'either a lady or a tart.' But, eventually, she struggled for money and was forced to go to claim benefits - an experience which she found demeaning. She never married, despite a string of interested male admirers. One possible future husband died, another couldn't get over his alcoholism and had to be abandoned. For twenty years, she maintained two separate lovers and managed to prevent them from ever meeting. 'I loved them both,' she wrote but decided on 'never committing; never having a marriage that could have gone awful.' Politically, she was of the left - despising Margaret Thatcher in the 1980s and refusing to help her older brother, Bas, when he stood for election under the Conservative banner. However, they remained close and she was proud of him when, without her help, he became an important figure in the party and eventually entered the House of Lords. Latterly, there was work with Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson in Guest House Paradiso and a role as an eccentric granny in the gritty Channel Four teen drama, Skins. But, for Fenella Fielding, her best work always took place on stage. At the age of nearly ninety, the Financial Times described her performance in Euripides'The Trojan Women as 'unbearably moving, at the extreme limits of pathos.' For most of the rest of us, however, she is preserved in memory as the camp vamp of Carry On legend. She will forever be 'England's First Lady of the double entendre' with a velvety voice and silvery twinkle in her eye. She was resigned to that professional fate. The autobiography she published in 2017 has little bitterness or regret in it. The only thing that rankled was when she met fellow actors - and there were many - who'd been asked to do adverts with a 'Fenella Fielding-like' voice. 'Bloody cheek,' she would say with perfect comic timing. 'Why didn't they ask me?'
And, finally, dear blog reader ...

The BBC have issued a new image promoting the return of Doctor Who on Sunday 7 October. And, episode two of the new series has been confirmed as being titled The Ghost Monument. Guest stars for the episode will be the very excellent Shaun Dooley, Susan Lynch and the veteran actor Art Malik. The series showrunner, Chris Chibnall, said: 'Finally – Jodie Whittaker's Doctor is about to crash land onto the nation's screens. It's thrilling to think, in the next few weeks and months, there will be children encountering Jodie's Doctor in the next few weeks who've never seen the show before. She will be forever their Doctor: you never forget your first. Alongside Jodie, we have a delightful ensemble of new characters for the audience to fall in love with, led by the incomparable Bradley Walsh. So break out the popcorn and hunker down for Sunday night adventures in space and time, with The Doctor and her new best friends. The journey is about to begin.' Episode one, of course, we already know is called The Woman Who Fell To Earth. The episode synopsis reads: '"We don't get aliens in Sheffield." In a South Yorkshire city, Ryan Sinclair, Yasmin Khan and Graham O'Brien are about to have their lives changed forever, as a mysterious woman, unable to remember her own name, falls from the night sky. Can they believe a word she says? And, can she help solve the strange events taking place across the city?' The episode's guest cast includes Sharon D Clarke, Johnny Dixon and Samuel Oatley, it is written by Chris Chibnall and directed by Jamie Childs. The Ghost Monument's plot synopsis is as follows: 'Still reeling from their first encounter, can The Doctor and her new friends stay alive long enough, in a hostile alien environment, to solve the mystery of Desolation? And just who are Angstrom and Epzo?'
BBC America have also this week released yet another - longer, and even more impressive - trailer for the new series. Which is Goddamn sexy in this blogger's sight! 'Why you asking her?''Cos, she's in charge, bro!''Sez who?''Sez us!' Subtext rapidly becoming the text! Dunno 'bout you, dear blog reader, but yer actual Keith Telly Topping is dead-excited.
Jodie Whittaker's casting in Doctor Who - which has delighted millions, including this blogger, but also pissed-off some sour, pinch-faced whinging malcontents ... most of whom are exactly the sort of people that appear to enjoy being pissed-off about something on a daily basis - was kept so hush-hush by Chris Chibnall and the BBC that even the popular long-running family SF drama's writers didn't find out until the rest of the world did. Chibnall confirmed in the latest issue of SFX that series eleven's writers - Malorie Blackman, Ed Hime, Pete McTighe, Vinay Patel and Joy Wilkinson - turned in initial scripts with The Doctor written as a male in order to keep the secret of Whittaker's hiring under wraps for as long as possible. And, the most surprising thing here is ... SFX is still going? Who knew? 'A lot of drafts of scripts have got "he" in,' Chibnall said. 'The writers didn't know - nobody knew - until that reveal video went out.' For some shows, this might cause some major re-thinking when your writers find out that their lead character has switched sexes, but Chibnall insists that The Doctor has never been defined by being male or female. 'It's very hard for me to think of a decision that The Doctor has taken in fifty five years that is a gender-based decision or action,' he argued. 'I'd really struggle to think of one.' Chibnall conceded that the only situation where gender politics could come into play in series eleven is if The Doctor and her companions travelled to real-life historical periods. 'I think particularly in the historicals – if we're doing historicals, which I'm sure we are – obviously that then affects what happens to all these characters when you go to certain periods of history,' he hinted.
After revealing earlier this week that she is 'not being paid less than any other Doctor,' Jodie Whittaker has said that she 'can't even begin to debate' with sexist Doctor Who critics. Speaking about anyone criticising a female doctor - there aren't many of them, dear blog reader, but they are all quite loud - Jodie told the New York Times: 'It's not a fact, it's an opinion. I have no issue with someone having a different opinion from me. I don't necessarily want to have my last meal with them. I know I got the role on the merits,' she added. 'I didn't get handed it. I don't play a gender.' She further discussed her predecessor, yer actual Peter Capaldi, explaining: 'I'm in Peter's costume. I'm literally in his shoes. If someone is devastated at the loss of him, that's brilliant, because it just means the show is loved. If the fact that I'm a woman is an issue, that's their issue. I can't even begin to debate that.' And, to be fair, she doesn't need to do so when she can simply - and brilliantly - take the raging piss (with truly withering sarcasm) out of such Twitterati gobshite moron-scum. As an interview with Stylist magazine this week gave her the, delicious, opportunity to do. And lo, they were put down in the gutter along with all the other shite. It was a joy to behold.
That There Bradley Walsh has revealed he was 'persuaded' to take a part in Doctor Who by his 'pal' Ray Winstone. At least this is according to the Sun, the only organ of the media that still uses the word 'pal' in anything other than an ironic sense (as in, you know, 'you lookin' at me, pal?') Bradley said that Ray told him to 'get back to acting' over a drink at a charity football match. Bradley explained that Ray told him: 'Enough of the quiz shows. Why don't you do more acting? You are a good actor.' Which, indeed, he is. As well as Coronation Street, Bradley has also previously appeared in Law & Order UK, Torn (in which he was superb), Night & Day and The Old Curiosity Shop among many others. Mind you, he was also in an episode of Bobby Davro's Rock With Laughter so, you know, it's not an entirely perfect CV! He is now playing The Doctor's new companion, Graham, opposite Jodie Whittaker and he is full of praise for the first lady Time Lord. Speaking ahead of the first episode, the host of The Chase told People: 'If there are any Doctor Who fans out there, Jodie is magnificent.' This blogger can confirm to Bradley that there, are, indeed, plenty of Doctor Who fans out here. Most of them are quite nice but there are a handful or arseholes. 'It was unbelievable,' he added. 'It is really big stuff and they have gone for it.'
Meanwhile, dear blog reader, here's a message for the UK authorities from some foreign visitors.
Those dear blog readers living in the US - and, those of us lucky enough to have gotten a preview disc sent over a couple of months ago - will already be well aware of just how good new From The North fave Killing Eve is. And now, UK viewers have finally got to see what the fuss is about. The drama, made by BBC America, is a spy thriller written by Fleabag's Phoebe Waller-Bridge. It's exciting, witty (often very funny) and just a bit dangerous. Its first episode was broadcast on Saturday, whilst the whole series is available for binge-watching on the iPlayer. And, reportedly, more than a few viewers watched the first episode and we so taken with it that they then spent the rest of Saturday night and Sunday morning valiantly battling sleep-deprivation to watched episodes two to eight. Reviews for the show have been almost entirely positive - with critics praising the scripting and casting. And, seemingly, the public are also rather taken with it. The Gruniad Morning Star's Lucy Mangan gave the show five stars and referred to 'the snapping, crackling script' which she called 'the perfect command of comedy and tragedy. [The show] wears its feminist credentials so lightly. Eve doesn't have to fight any overt sexism. Her boss and husband are good, supportive guys. Villanelle only uses her femaleness to get physically close enough to slice, stab or shoot her victims, not seduce them. This isn't a retrograde step. This is progress.' The Independent's Ed Cumming also gave the show five stars and pointed to leads Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh. 'Killing Eve's triumph is to give full throat to each of its many voices. It's the chemistry between the two compelling leads, however, that gives Killing Eve its particular fizz. Even as they are cast as cat and mouse, the two women are fascinated by each other, respectful of the other's skills but determined to win.' Another five star review was handed out by the Torygraph's Jacob Rees - who called the drama 'an absolute peach. With style and verve, Phoebe Waller-Bridge has adapted Luke Jennings'Codename Villanelle novellas about the co-dependent joust between a spook and an assassin. Killing Eve looks fabulous in the manner of a glossy cartoon bloodbath, while the multilingual dialogue fizzes and sizzles. And, blissfully, each episode is only forty five minutes. Please can BBC Drama now cool it for a bit? It has successfully reminded us Netflix is not the only game in town.' The Digital Spy website's Jo Berry was also a fan and credited 'Waller-Bridge's skill at mixing drama with wry humour. Villanelle is dangerous, strange, funny and sly and one of the true pleasures of Killing Eve is sitting back and watching Comer's expressive face while wondering what the hell this mad assassin is going to do next. Waller-Bridge subtly makes such observations in her enjoyably snarky script, and also skilfully turns the good-guy-chases-the-villain formula on its head. Killing Eve is a suspenseful, brilliantly played slice of must-see TV and it's an absolute blast.' Carol Midgley, writing in The Times, wrote that 'this is a totally different kind of black comedy, ably assisted by the deadpan delivery of Sandra Oh as Eve' and described Jodie Comer as 'beguiling.' The Financial Times' Suzi Feay credited Waller-Bridge for putting 'a distinctive spin on the spy genre. The interchangeability of the hunter and the hunted is a well-worn trope, but it's given a distinctive spin in Killing Eve by scriptwriter Phoebe Waller-Bridge, whose trademark humour has turned even darker and meaner than it was in Fleabag. "This doesn't have a great deal of charm or believability, but it is immensely stylish.' However, not everyone is a fan. Keith Watson at the Metro - whose views this blogger always used to rather respect but who is now dead to me - gave it a measly two stars. Hey, Keith mate, get a job at a real newspaper, mate and stop talking shit about the best new drama Britain has produced since The Night Manager.
There were plenty of twists and turns in the latest - fifth - episode of Bodyguard but one minor detail had some viewers reaching for their mobile phones. At one point, Richard Madden's character, David Budd, gave out his mobile number to another character. It was too tempting for a number of viewers, who seemingly couldn't resist calling it. If they were hoping to speak to the anguished police protection officer, however, they were left disappointed and there are twenty thousand reasons why. That's the amount of fake telephone numbers set aside by the broadcasting regulator Ofcom, for use in TV, radio and film. These include numbers for different geographic areas around the UK as well as mobile phone numbers. Harry Rippon, the communications manager for Ofcom, says that this is to save anyone from having their phone number accidentally or deliberately featured on TV - because usually, the first thing some idiots do is call it. 'I think it happens quite a lot - if a number is onscreen, there's always the chance someone could call it,' he told BBC Newsbeat. 'There's always someone who thinks: "What if I call this number?"' Yes, mate. They're called glakes. 'As far as I'm aware, we've always had these numbers for this very reason.' Occasionally, real-life numbers have made it onscreen - creating havoc for the people who own them. In 2003's Bruce Almighty, Morgan Freeman's God repeatedly contacted Jim Carrey's character using a real phone number rather than a fictional one usually used in American films (you can aways recognise them, they have a five-five-five area code). It turned out that the number belonged to different people in various area codes, including one poor chap in Manchester who, reportedly, kept getting phone calls asking to speak to God. Eventually, after the issue was highlighted, the number was changed for the home video and television versions for the movie.
The latest batch of From The North Comedy Line(s) of the Week came from Monday's - terrific - second episode of Qi's P series, Peril. In which Sandi Toksvig, Alan Davies and guests Lee Mack, Jason Manford and Aisling Bea engaged in thirty minutes of delicious one-liners and witty comebacks. So, dear blog reader, take your pick from any of the following: On the revelation that the most dangerous job in the world, statistically, is President of the United States (eight out of forty four Presidents have died in office, which is a fatality-rate roughly twenty seven times that of a lumberjack): 'Luckily, the present one is really likable!'; 'Trust you? The legendary liar from Would I Lie To You?'; 'Can anyone think of an example of certain doom?''Saturday night, Glasgow Jongleurs!'; 'When I was sixteen you could get a motorbike, get on it and just go ... You could only go at thirty but if you knew a bloke with a garage full of parts you could get a big-bore cylinder and a larger piston, bigger sprockets and a racing exhaust and ... [then] you could do forty!' Alan's wonderful story about doing a tandem sky-dive ('I absolutely shat myself!') and Lee's story of watching a friend bungee-jumping; 'My poppet does not want to be down there!'; 'One series of Bake Off and now, she's an expert!'; 'I remember the old system, U, A, Double-A and X, what was wrong with that? X was very scary or very sexy. So, now, if I get to the letter "X" just looking at the alphabet, I get aroused. The X Factor, I can't watch it!'; 'I'm not even a cat, leave me alone!'; 'Never approach a hamster from behind!' And, possibly the best of the lot, 'where's the bad language in Paddington? Well, there was one bit where he said "where's my marmalade sandwich you c-!"' Sixteen years in, dear blog reader and Qi remains, by a distance, the funniest show on British TV.
The official QiTwitter account has also confirmed this week that the current series of Qi XL will begin on BBC2 at 10pm on Saturday 6 October with the episode Panimals.
Claire Foy, Thandie Newton and Charlie Brooker were among the British winners at the seventieth Primetime EMMY Awards ceremony. Foy won the best actress in a drama series for her role as Queen Elizabeth in Netflix's The Crown. Matthew Rhys also took one of the night's big prizes - best leading actor in a drama series. Game Of Thrones won two prizes - best drama series and supporting actor for Peter Dinklage - while The Marvellous Mrs Maisel scooped five comedy awards. However, two hotly-tipped shows - Atlanta and The Handmaid's Tale - failed to replicate their successes from last year and went home empty-handed. Elisabeth Moss had been the pre-show favourite to win best drama actress for the second series of The Handmaid's Tale, but lost out to Foy. In her acceptance speech, Foy described her time on The Crown as 'the most extraordinary two-and-a-half years of my life.' And, she never whinged about getting paid less than Matt Smith once. Which was almost certainly a first. She added: 'I was given a role I never thought I would ever get a chance to play, and I met people who I will love for ever and ever. And the show goes on, which makes me so proud. So I dedicate this to the next cast, the next generation and I also dedicate this to Matt Smith.' Olivia Colman is due to take over the role from Foy as the drama enters its third series. Stephen Daldry won best directing for a drama series for The Crown. Newton was awarded best supporting actress in a drama series for her role in another From The North favourite, Westworld. 'I don't even believe in God but I'm going to thank her tonight,' the actress said as she took to the stage to collect her trophy. Rhys picked up best leading actor in a drama series for his role in The Americans. 'Parts like these come along so rarely. I will forever be in your debt,' he said. Charlie Brooker, the creator of Black Mirror and his co-writer William Bridges won best writing for a limited series. John Oliver added to the British success at the ceremony, picking up the award for best variety talk series for Last Week Tonight With John Oliver. The Marvellous Mrs Maisel was one of the night's biggest winners - adding five trophies to the four it won last week at the Creative Arts EMMYs. The series took home best writing, directing, lead actress and supporting actress in the comedy categories, as well as one of the night's big awards - best comedy series. The Assassination Of Gianni Versace was also one of Monday's big winners - landing best limited series, best directing for a limited series and best lead actor in a limited series for Darren Criss. Henry Winkler won his first EMMY - best supporting actor in a comedy series for his role in Barry - forty two years after he was first nominated for playing The Fonz in Happy Days. 'Skip Brittenham said to me a long time ago, "If you stay at the table long enough, the chips come to you" and, tonight, I got to clear the table,' he said in his speech. Jeff Daniels took home the award for best supporting actor in a limited series or a television movie for his role in Netflix's Godless - described as a feminist western. In addition to his family and co-workers, Daniels thanked the streaming service for 'letting artists be artists.' He added: 'Little tip for you young actors - when they call and say "Can you ride a horse?" don't lie. You will find on day one that you're in the Kentucky Derby.' Together with the Creative Arts EMMYs handed out last week, this year's awards tally saw Netflix and HBO tied with twenty three awards each. The ceremony took place at the Microsoft Theatre in Los Angeles.
Yer actual Jenna Coleman has revealed that she thought she had been 'completely miscast' in her new BBC drama The Cry. In the upcoming series – which recently unveiled its trailer – the Victoria and Doctor Who actress plays a young mother struggling to deal with the demands of her newly born child. Coleman also has to pretend to give birth, screaming in agony while mercilessly squeezing the side of the hospital bed and aggressively grinding her teeth. But, having never had any children of her own – and therefore had no logical reason for going into the labour either – Coleman initially worried that she might not have been right for the part. 'I spent a good first chunk of it just thinking they'd completely miscast – and why on Earth me?' she told the Grunaid Morning Star. 'I'm not a mother! I really kind of hit myself over the head with it. I felt there was obviously something I wouldn't be able to capture. It was something so primal that I haven't literally experienced. And I've really struggled with that.' Though, it's probably worth pointing out at this juncture that - so far as this blogger is aware - Jenna has never been Queen either, or, for that matter, time-travelled yet such lack-of-life-experience didn't seem to impinge upon either of her best known previous roles. It's called acting, love. She did, however, once go to school so that helped when preparing for her stint on Waterloo Road. She revealed that she 'got in touch with her friends' who have had babies and asked them for their insight. In return, she claims, she learned 'a great deal' about 'the day-to-day realities of what it is being a new mum.' And, how to grind her teeth in agony. Probably.
Also, Jenna Coleman will star in a new production of All My Sons at the Old Vic, the theatre announced this week as it unveiled its line-up for next year. Merlin actor Colin Morgan will appear alongside Jenna. Sally Field and Bill Pullman had already been announced for the show, which will run from April. The season is Matthew Warchus's fourth as artistic director. Highlights of the Old Vic's new season include: Rachel Chavkin's Old Vic debut directing Arthur Miller's The American Clock; a performance to mark one hundred years since the Armistice, curated by Arinzé Kene and directed by Annabel Bolton. The show, part of the One Voice series, will be made of of five specially-commissioned monologues; Jack Thorne's version of A Christmas Carol, starring Stephen Tompkinson as Scrooge and a new play by Lucy Prebble based on A Very Expensive Poison by Luke Harding to close the season.
Rules controlling UK media need to change if British TV is to compete with Netflix, Amazon and YouTube, according to the BBC Director General, Tony Hall. At a speech on Tuesday, Lord Hall said that there may be more content but 'it won't necessarily be British content' unless the BBC can meet the challenge. Netflix and Amazon alone are spending thirteen billion knicker a year on programmes. Hall said that only around one hundred and fifty million smackers of the tech giants' output is spent on new UK programmes. All this comes at a time that spending by the UK's main broadcasters has dropped by around a billion notes to two-and-a-half billion quid since 2004. And, the new digital giants are not bound by the regulations which control British TV companies. In his speech to the Royal Television Society, Lord Hall said that he has seen 'a big shift' in how global media works and that British media companies need a fairer system of regulation if they are going to compete against the American giants. 'It cannot be right that the UK's media industry is competing against global giants with one hand tied behind its back. In so many ways - prominence, competition rules, advertising, taxation, content regulation, terms of trade, production quotas - one set of rules applies to UK companies and barely any apply to the new giants. That needs rebalancing, too.' Lord Hall also said that UK viewers 'want content that is relevant to their lives and they want to see people like them on screen. We all know this instinctively but if we didn't, Ofcom data shows it clearly.' But, Britain's main TV broadcasters are losing younger viewers. Consumption of BBC output by younger audiences has dropped by more than a third from eleven-and-a-half hours a week to seven-and-a-half - that's less than Spotify and YouTube, which together occupy young people for around eight hours a week. The BBC says that Netflix's younger audience is 'about the same size' as BBC television and iPlayer combined. 'This isn't just an issue for us economically, commercially or as institutions,' Lord Hall said. 'There is an impact on society. The content we produce is not an ordinary consumer good. It helps shape our society. It brings people together, it helps us understand each other and share a common national story.' The BBC is, Lord Hall says, going to respond to the challenge of the new 'tech giants' by making the iPlayer more of a 'destination' than a catch-up service, spending more on youth programming and the highest quality output and shifting more production out of London to the rest of the UK. The Director General said: 'We need to move faster on our plans for iPlayer, for BBC Sounds and for young audiences. I have challenged the organisation to find one hundred million pounds a year from our current budgets to invest in these priorities from next April.'
The BBC and the US pay-TV company Discovery are 'understood' - by the Gruniad Morning Star if not anyone more reliable - to be 'in the final stages' of agreeing a one billion knicker break-up of the Gold and Dave broadcaster, UKTV, in a deal which will accelerate plans to build a British streaming rival to Netflix. UKTV, which has a mix of ten free-to-air and pay-TV channels, is jointly owned by the Eurosport owner Discovery and BBC Studios, the commercial arm of the BBC. The BBC has long sought to take full control of UKTV - which made more than ninety million knicker in profits last year and pays fifty four million quid annually for rights to BBC shows ranging from Top Gear to Dad's Army, Qi to New Tricks and Would I Lie To You? to Porridge. Earlier this year, the BBC reportedly explored a buyout after a change of ownership clause in the joint venture contract was triggered by Discovery's takeover of Scripps, the corporation's previous partner in UKTV. The BBC, which does not have the financial flexibility to stage a buy-out on its own, held talks with ITV and Channel Four, but the ninety-day window to make a bid expired in June with no partner on board. It is understood, the Gruniad claim, that the BBC and Discovery have 'all but agreed' a deal to instead break up UKTV, which has operated since the early 1990s, splitting the channels between them. It is not clear how the mix of channels will be divided but those most filled with BBC archive content - such as Drama, Dave and Gold - would be the obvious candidates to remain with the corporation. If a final agreement can be reached, a BBC board meeting later in September is thought to be when the plan would need final approval. In addition, talks between the BBC, Channel Four and ITV about joining forces to create a British streaming service to combat the increasing power of Netflix and Amazon in the UK have been hampered in part by the uncertainty surrounding UKTV. Much of the blame for the delay has centred on the BBC splitting the video-on-demand rights to its programmes, with the corporation packaging up different deals for UKTV and other broadcasters such as Netflix. Earlier this year, Virgin Media took UKTV's channels off-air, accusing the BBC of being 'a linear dinosaur in an on-demand world' for holding back and splitting digital rights. Digital rights to programmes which it made and the commercial exploitation of which is its right. Just sayin'. A break-up of UKTV would have major ramifications for Channel Four, which handles the broadcaster's two hundred and fifty million smackers-per-year TV advertising sales contract. Channel Four stands to lose, potentially, tens of millions of wonga in revenues, depending on what channels are secured by Discovery, which has its TV advertising sales contract with Sky. Channel Four and the BBC have been in talks for months about a potential partnership, including video-on-demand rights, which would be able to be hammered out after the fate of UKTV is known. The BBC's talks with ITV about UKTV are also, the Gruniad claim, 'understood to have stalled in part over issues relating to video-on-demand rights.' The established British broadcasters held similar talks two years ago but in the end only the BBC and ITV managed to hook up to launch a Netflix-style service in the US called Britbox. It was hoped that partners including Channel Four would come on-board for a UK service, but a British launch did not take place. Meanwhile, the Gruniad also claimed that the recently cancelled Big Brother'could return on ITV' after the broadcaster reportedly entered the bidding for the show's production company, Endemol Shine. The Dutch firm, which also makes The Fall, MasterChef, Black Mirror and Peaky Blinders, is being sold by the private equity house Apollo and billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch's Twenty First Century FOX in a three billion smackers auction. Endemol is loss-making and received a blow last week when Channel Five said that it would axe Big Brother after the current series, almost two decades after the show first appeared on British television (see below). Other bidders reportedly include All3Media, backed by Liberty Global, which owns a stake in ITV and Banijay Group, a French production company backed by Vivendi. At ITV's half-year results in July, its chief executive Dame Carolyn McCall, who joined from the budget airline EasyJet in January and was previously chief executive of the Gruniad Morning Star Media Group, said she wanted the broadcaster to do 'more than TV.'
So, as previously mentioned - and, as speculated widely over the last few months - the makers of Big Brother and Z-List Celebrity Big Brother have announced that the show is being extremely axed at the end of the current series. Big Brother's Twitter account shared the news that the nineteenth series of the sick Victorian freak sow, launching on Friday night, would be the last. Channel Five confirmed that Z-List Celebrity Big Brother was also ending. The show first appeared in 2000 and used to be extremely popular, but viewing figures have dwindled away to almost nothing in recent years. A spokesperson told the BBC: "The forthcoming series of Big Brother will be the last - of either celebrity or civilian versions - on Channel Five. We'd like to thank Endemol and all of the production team who have worked tirelessly to make the show a success.' And, you know, failed. Endemol released a statement shortly after Channel Five's announcement to say that they were 'disappointed not to reach an agreement with Channel Five' over the future of the show. The production company did hint that it might not be the end of the show as they added 'the decision opens up a new chapter and we are excited about future possibilities for Big Brother in the UK.' During the launch of the recent series of Z-List Celebrity Big Brother, Channel Five controller Ben Frow hinted that the franchise would be ending as 'the contract runs out at Christmas.' It was revealed recently by Deadline that Channel Five was set to bring popular US TV show The Bachelor to a British audience, as a rival to ITV2's Love Island. The dating show failed to captivate viewers when the channel first attempted a British version in 2012, but the current appetite for dating shows could help revive its popularity. Big Brother was billed as a social experiment on Channel Four, eighteen years ago and involved putting ordinary people in a house over a series of weeks with no contact to the outside world. Davina McCall presented the first incarnation of the show, stepping down in 2010 when it moved to Channel Five. It was then hosted by former winner Brian Dowling before Emma Willis took over in 2013 and been narrated by Marcus Bentley for the whole eighteen years the show has been on-air. The final Z-List Celebrity Big Brother series was won by Ryan Thomas, but was entirely overshadowed by the hysterical drama queen antics of Roxanne Pallett, who quit the Big Brother house in a geet stroppy huff after accusing Thomas of punching her. The incident attracted more than eleven thousand whinges to Ofcom - from people with nothing better to do with their time - and overshadowed the show's other storylines for the rest of the series. Pallett later grovellingly apologised to Thomas, saying that she had 'over-reacted.' In July, Endemol Shine UK applied to Hertsmere Borough Council to keep the Big Brother house at Elstree Studios in Borehamwood, for the next three years. The house's current permission was due to expire on 30 September, just sixteen days after the new series begins. The council's planning committee approved the application at a meeting on Thursday, after discussing conditions to restrict noise.
How To Get Away With Murder and Harry Potter actor Alfred Enoch is to star in the second series of BBC thriller Trust Me following Jodie Whittaker's exit. Whether the news of this will see Twitter filled with dozens of whinging malcontents, horrified about the regeneration and claiming tat Enoch is 'not my Doctor' remains to be seen. In the first series, Whittaker played a fake doctor, but won't return because she is about to be seen as a very real one in Doctor Who. The new cast will also include John Hannah, Archie Watson and Ashley Jensen as hospital staff. Enoch, who played Dean Thomas in the Harry Potter films, will play a paralysed soldier in Trust Me: Glasgow Hospital. His character, Corporal Jamie McCain, will be seen searching for the truth when fellow patients on the ward die unexpectedly. Enoch said: 'It's great to be on board, it's a cracking cast and Dan [Sefton, writer] has done a great job crafting something that's really invested in the characters. It has a psychological concern that is dark and thrilling.' The original four-part drama, Trust Me, was screened in August 2017 and was watched by an average of six million viewers - boosted by the fact that it was the broadcast just days after Whittaker's announcement as the new Doctor. And, it was quite good, to be fair. The new series will be shown on BBC1 next year.
Former Never Mind The Buzzcocks host and Shooting Stars regular fifties throwback Mark Lamarr has been charged with common assault and false imprisonment, the Metropolitan Police has said. The TV personality and comedian, born Mark Jones, was charged on 1 September in London. The fifty one-year-old will appear at Uxbridge Magistrates' Court on 2 October to answer for his alleged crimes. Lamarr became famous in the 1990s for presenting shows such as Channel Four's The Big Breakfast and The Word. He presented Never Mind The Buzzcocks between 1996 and 2005. Lamarr also presented a weekly Radio 2 late-night show and specialist music series Shake, Rattle & Roll for twelve years, leaving in 2010.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? will return for a new series in 2019 with comfortable hate-figure for Middle Class hippy Communist Gruniad Morning Star readers everywhere yer actual Jezza Clarkson back in the host's seat, ITV has confirmed. The show was revived for a week of specials earlier this year to celebrate its twentieth birthday. 'I absolutely loved hosting the anniversary shows,' Clarkson said in a statement. 'And, I cannot wait to spend a few precious hours away from James May and Richard Hammond, making the new ones.' Also returning to Millionaire is the 'ask the host' lifeline, which, despite its somewhat limited success for those asking Jezza for help, provided some of the most entertaining moments of the recent run. Matthew Worthy, joint managing director of production company Stellify Media, referred to the new lifeline in a statement on Friday. 'Ask The Host is back! And a quick tip for future contestants: don't use it on questions about fine art, haute cuisine or the scouting association,' he said. Millionaire's revival in May proved popular with viewers - the launch and final episodes both attracted overnight audiences of more than five million. Clarkson took over the presenting role from Chris Tarrant, who fronted the show from 1998 to 2014.
The head teacher of the school which featured in the TV series Educating Greater Manchester has resigned after claiming his suspension felt like 'a personal vendetta.' Drew Povey, head at Harrop Fold School in Little Hulton, Salford, was suspended in July. The BBC claimed that the suspension 'relates to school record-keeping.' Salford City Council denied the allegation that it was a personal vendetta against Povey. Three other members of staff were also suspended as part of the investigation. In a tweet, Povey said that he 'could no longer sit quietly' under the 'threat' of not being able to comment. He said that he understood his suspension related to administrative errors involving 'a very small number of pupils' about how attendance, exclusions and home schooling were recorded. Povey said he 'took full responsibility' for the errors, but did not believe they 'constitute grounds for me to be pursued in the way that I have been. This feels very much like a personal vendetta and I hope that by removing myself from the situation, that some semblance of normality will return to the school, for the benefit of all,' he said. He added that the 'protracted investigation' had 'created uncertainty' and had 'a detrimental impact' on the school. Lisa Stone, the council's lead member for children's and young people's services, said that she was 'disappointed' Povey had made some details of the investigation public. 'In my experience governors do not launch investigations and suspend senior members of staff for mere administrative errors,' she said. 'This is an in-depth and wide-ranging investigation into many serious allegations and it will continue in the interests of the school, pupils, parents and the members of staff who remain suspended. The governing body is trying to reach a conclusion as quickly as possible. It is in no-one's interests to rush through something so serious.' Hundreds of people had signed a petition calling for Povey to be reinstated. Channel Four has been filming a second series of the show at the school. The award-winning documentaries, which have previously focused on Yorkshire, Cardiff and Essex, have won praise for their coverage of the lives of teenagers and teachers.
A man who shot dead a planning officer in view of TV cameras to protect an illegally built bungalow has died in a care home a year after being freed from The Big House. Albert Dryden gunned down Derwentside Council officer Harry Collinson in Butsfield, County Durham, in June 1991 which, this blogger believes may well have been the first occasion on which an act of murder was ever broadcast on British TV. Dryden was convicted of murder and the attempted murder of a solicitor. He was released from prison last year after suffering a stroke and died, aged seventy eight, at the weekend. He was also convicted of wounding the BBC Look North journalist Tony Belmont and shooting a police officer in the arse. Alex Watson, leader at the time of the - since abolished - Derwentside Council, was a lifelong friend of Dryden. Now an independent Durham County Councillor, he said that the case was 'tragic' especially as Dryden and Collinson also knew each other well. He said: 'I'd known Albert all my life - he was well known in the area and was very private. He loved the countryside like Harry Collinson did. They had interests that they shared and it went on for years. Albert would come in and have a cup of tea with Harry and they would talk about the situation. But, Harry was quite adamant that what Albert was doing [building the bungalow without permission] was wrong.' Dryden opened fire on Collinson and a solicitor, Michael Dunstan, as they led a council operation to demolish the bungalow he had built on a smallholding down a country lane. Several other bystanders were hurt in the ensuing shooting. When Collinson, a forty six-year-old father of two, fell wounded into a ditch, Dryden hit him with two further shots. Collinson's brother, Roy, has dismissed claims that Dryden had recently shown remorse for the murder. Collinson said that he had received four letters written by his brother's murderer from his prison cell, but described them all as 'the ravings of a madman. Not once did he show any remorse, culpability, or regret for what he had done,' he said. 'He looked to blame everyone but himself. At one stage he even tried to blame the vehicles that were going to knock down his house, claiming they were not taxed or something ridiculous like that. I get so annoyed when people try to rewrite history, and look at things from a different angle. No excuses can be made for what Albert Dryden did. Good riddance to the man.' Watson, who had visited Dryden a few weeks before his death, said: 'It was quite tragic - devastating for Harry's family because this was a killing that should never have happened. It should have been prevented - the media and the police were there. The police were well warned about the situation because Albert had this passion for collecting weapons.'
FIFA president Gianni Infantino says that a home match should 'not be played in a foreign country,' as he addressed La Liga's plans to stage a game in the US. Spain's top-flight has asked permission from the Spanish Football Federation to relocate Girona's 'home' match against Barcelona to the US. The game would be played at Miami's Hard Rock Stadium on 26 January. 'I think I would prefer to see a great MLS game in the US rather than La Liga being in the US,' said Infantino. 'In football, the general principle is that you play a "home" match at "home" and not in a foreign country.' La Liga president Javier Tebas responded to Infantino on Twitter, he said: 'I will remind the president of FIFA that in the MLS, three teams of Canada participate and Toronto is the current champion and also in Canada there is another professional league.' Canadian teams Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver all compete in the MLS but play home games in their own cities. RFEF, the US Soccer Federation, European governing body UEFA and the Confederation of North, Central American and Caribbean Association Football all need to give permission for the game to go ahead. Infantino added: 'There are rules, regulations, that everyone complies with. Such a proposal has to be approved by the respective associations, by the respective confederations and FIFA should also express a view on the matter, not least since it would have implications for football at global level as well.' Luis Rubiales, the president of the RFEF, has previously spoken out against the US game. The Spanish players' union has also opposed the match and following a meeting with La Liga last week, it said the players would 'have the final say.' La Liga, Spain's top flight, has agreed to play one game a season in the US as part of a fifteen-year greed deal with the media company Relevent. Girona is in Catalonia, about sixty miles North of Barcelona. The club say the match represents 'a chance for expansion and growth,' both for the club and the region. Plus, obviously, they'll get a shit-load of money for it and, in the end, that seems to be all they're really bothered about. On line which, basically, sums up everything that it wrong with football and has been for at least the last thirty years.
One of the top shareholders in Unilever has said that it will vote against the firm's plan to move its headquarters to the Netherlands, amid growing investor concern about the plan. Aviva Investors told the BBC that the move could force UK shareholders to sell their shares and offered 'no upside.' However, other shareholdrrs are believed to be in favour of the move. So, in other words, some like it and some don't - pretty much par for the course for Marmite. Unilever, which makes Marmite - and Dove soap - is relocating to 'simplify its corporate structure.' And, to make more money, obviously. It needs seventy five per cent of shareholder votes to get the plan through. Unilever has headquarters in both London and Rotterdam, but announced in March that it planned to have just one HQ located in the Dutch city.
What was described as 'a sinister recording of a children's nursery rhyme' being played repetitively late at night tormented a woman for over a year before investigators solved the mystery. Alice Randle was one of several residents who heard the creepy rendition of 'It's Raining, It's Pouring' coming from somewhere outside their homes on the outskirts of Ipswich. Sometimes the tune played just once at 2am or 4am, but on other occasions it repeated over and over again for several hours. The rhyme, which relates the story of an old man who bumped his head and couldn't wake up, left Randle 'frightened' and questioning whether she was imagining things. 'It's sung by what sounds like a very young child,' she told the Independent. 'It's very haunting, people have said it's like something out of Freddie Krueger.' Randle, who has two children, first heard the tune in September last year and 'initially tried to ignore it' before finally calling Ipswich Borough Council in desperation two months ago. 'The last couple of months I've been quite committed to finding out what it was,' she said. 'I've been out with a friend of mine, we went on a mission, calling local businesses.' The council's rapid response team drove out to the scene several times in an attempt to track down the noise only for it to fall silent before they got there. So, clearly the rapid response unit was rapid enough on those occasions. They finally tracked it down when Randle called after being woken up by the same recording at 11.15pm on 10 September. 'It was only in the last couple of weeks that it started to play over and over again,' said Randle. 'I told them they would definitely hear it if they came this time.' The team arrived at her home in Bramford Road fifteen minutes later. 'We did hear the nursery rhyme playing and it sounded very eerie at that time of night,' a spokesperson for the council said. The child’s voice was being played through a loudspeaker on a warehouse a few hundred yards away on an industrial estate. 'We don't know at this stage why it is playing - it might be simply an alarm that is being triggered - but we will be visiting the operators to find out more,' the spokesperson added. 'We appreciate that people living nearby would find it quite spooky.' Randle said that the owners of the site had told her that the nursery rhyme was being 'triggered by spiders.' Which, sounds like an entirely plausible excuse. 'When they examined the motion sensors there were spiders and webs across it, so that's how they know,' she added. A spokesperson for the site told the Ipswich Star newspaper: 'The sound is only supposed to act as a deterrent for opportunistic thieves that come onto our property and it is designed only to be heard by people on our private land. We are now aware of the problem - the motion sensors were being triggered by spiders crawling across the lenses of our cameras and it looks like we've had it turned up too loudly. We've spoken to the resident who brought it to our attention and adjusted it so this should not happen again.' Ipswich council said it believed this was the first time a nursery rhyme was the source of a noise complaint. 'This is unique in our experience - it was difficult to believe a nursery rhyme would be playing in the middle of the night. But we do take all complaints extremely seriously and asked the residents who contacted us to let us know when it was actually playing so we could investigate properly. Our environmental health team does respond very quickly whenever we can – we do have an out-of-hours service – and we urge people to get in touch if they are troubled by any noise nuisance. It is usually loud music or shouting from neighbours.'
Australia has ordered an investigation into the discovery of sewing needles hidden in strawberries, amid 'growing alarm over scares across the country.' Contaminated punnets have now been reported in six states and territories. A minister called it 'a vicious crime.' One man was taken to hospital after eating a strawberry that held such a needle. Several brands have been recalled, while New Zealand's biggest grocers have stopped selling Australian strawberries 'as a precaution.' Although, you do get the feeling that, with regard to New Zealand selling anything Australian it's simply a case of 'any excuse'. Australian Health Minister Greg Hunt ordered the Food Safety Authority of Australia and New Zealand to investigate the scare. 'This is a very vicious crime and it's a general attack on the public,' he said. Local authorities are also investigating, but no suspects have been identified. Cases of fruit tampering were first reported in Queensland last week, before spreading to New South Wales, Victoria, the Australian Capital Territory, South Australia and Tasmania. Growers and police have suggested that some cases may be copycat incidents. The Queensland state government has offered a one hundred thousand dollar reward for information. 'How could any right-minded person want to put a baby or a child or anybody's health at risk by doing such a dreadful act?' Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk said on Saturday. On Thursday, the Queensland Strawberry Growers' Association said that the needles 'may' have been placed by 'a disgruntled employee.' However, police said that it was 'too early to speculate.' At least six brands have been caught up in the scare: Berry Obsession, Berry Licious, Love Berry, Donnybrook Berries, Delightful Strawberries and Oasis. Health officials have advised Australians to cut up strawberries before eating them. Growers have expressed concerns that the scare, which has come during the peak of production, could have a negative effect on sales for an industry worth about one hundred and thirty million dollars a year. Strawberry prices have already dropped around the country, with prices in Western Australia now below the cost of production, ABC News reported over the weekend. On Monday, New Zealand's two largest food distributors - Countdown and Foodstuffs - said they had stopped importing Australian strawberries due to the scare.
A teenager has been 'quizzed by police' after a 'stupid'YouTube stunt in which a boy was spun at high speed on a park roundabout using the wheel of a moped went disastrously wrong. Tyler Broome was left 'with horrific injuries' similar to those inflicted by high levels of g-force, his mother said she was told by doctors. The eleven-year-old passed out and was 'abandoned by those involved,' she said. Nottinghamshire Police confirmed that a sixteen-year-old was interviewed under caution and 'a moped has been seized.' The teenager was 'questioned about his involvement' over what happened at Ashvale Park, in Tuxford on Wednesday. Dawn Hollingworth released a video of Tyler, which shows him spread-eagled across the top of the roundabout as it spins around. At the end of the recording, Tyler appears to fall down, his head flopping forward as it comes to a stop. Blood rushed to his head, causing swelling and bruising to his face, she said. Dawn said that doctors told her Tyler's injuries were 'usually seen in fighter pilots' suffering the effects of g-force. Chief Inspector Andy Rooke said: 'What may have seemed like "a bit of fun" at the time has turned into an incident where an eleven-year old boy has received horrific injuries. We hope that this incident and the severity of the boy's injuries serve as a strong warning to anyone thinking about recreating something they have seen online.' He said Tyler seemed to be 'recovering well under the circumstances' and an investigation continues.
The actress Zienia Merton, who has died aged seventy two, appeared regularly on British television in a fifty-year career during which she found fame as one of the regular cast of the Gerry Anderson science fiction series Space: 1999. Set on the moon – which has been propelled through space owing to a thermonuclear explosion – Space: 1999 was filmed at Pinewood and starred the US actors Martin Landau and Barbara Bain. Merton played the data analyst Sandra Benes, one of only two of the show's regular supporting cast to be brought back for the second series. She left the series at one point but was lured back with the promise that the character would play a more prominent role in later stories and appeared in thirty seven of the drama's forty eight episodes. Merton was born in Burma, the youngest daughter of Minny and Cecil Burton. Her mother was Burmese and her father, a merchant, was half-English and half-French. Zienia had a peripatetic upbringing which took her via Singapore and Portugal (where she began her education) and, eventually, to the UK. A shy and artistic youngster, she was sent to the Arts Educational school (now Tring Park School for the Performing Arts) in Hertfordshire after it was decided that this would benefit her more than a traditional boarding school. The school was able to secure professional bookings for its pupils and so she made her debut as a dancer in the Royal Festival Ballet's Christmas production of The Nutcracker (1957), playing a rat. She repeated this engagement the following year, this time promoted to kitchen maid. Her first screen role was an early brush with science fiction, playing a Venusian in the Children's Film Foundation series Masters Of Venus (1962). Having played a fairy in A Midsummer Night's Dream at Regent's Park open air theatre and various animals in Toad Of Toad Hall at The Comedy Theatre (1962, directed by David William), she got her big television break in 1964 in the epic seven-part Doctor Who adventure Marco Polo. Merton was selected by the director, Waris Hussein, to play the prominent role of Ping-Cho, a young Chinese girl in Marco Polo's retinue who befriends the time traveller (then played by William Hartnell). One episode required Merton to perform a lengthy set-piece of storytelling, recounting the history of the Hashshashins to an assembled audience. The round of applause the cast gave her on-screen was, apparently, a genuine response to how well she had handled the poetic monologue which, as was customary at the time, was recorded 'as live' in one take. She also featured in two controversial BBC productions, playing a prominent role as the forthright Cristina in Dennis Potter's Casanova (1971, opposite Frank Finlay) and as Miss Ho in the 1981 adaptation of Malcolm Bradbury's The History Man (1981, starring Antony Sher). She was one of the terrorists in Hijack To Mogadishu (1980) based on the real-life 1977 militant attack on a Lufthansa plane. Her other television work consisted of guest spots in popular series such as Catch Us If You Can (1966), The Troubleshooters (1967), Jason King (1972), Return Of The Saint (1978), Bergerac (1983), Peak Practice (1998), Wire In The Blood (2008), The Sarah-Jane Adventures (2009, the Doctor Who spin-off created by Russell Davies) and Wizards Vs Aliens (2013 also by Davies). In later years she was often cast as doctors and receptionists, playing the former in Family Affairs (2000), The Bill (2001), Doctors (2001), Judge John Deed (2006) and Coronation Street (2008) and the latter in the woeful Crime Traveller (1997) – and one of each in EastEnders (1998 and 2002) and Casualty (1986 and 1991). Her CV also included appearances in Thirty Minute Theatre, Strange Report, Wilde Alliance, Hammer House Of Mystery & Suspense, The Six Wives Of Henry VIII, Grange Hill, Angels, Tenko, Dempsey & Makepeace and Lovejoy. Feature film work was less prolific but included Dick lester's Help! (1965), The Adventurers (1970, directed by Lewis Gilbert) and Wen Du Bei Mir Bist (1970, in which she was second billed after the star, the German singer Roy Black). A career highlight was sharing romantic scenes with Gregory Peck in The Chairman (1969). She was touched when, after Peck's death, she was given a handwritten note he had sent to a director recommending her for a role (which she had been unaware of). A few months ago she was thrilled to be asked to read the BBC audiobook of her Doctor Who story Marco Polo but, having been diagnosed with terminal cancer just over a year earlier, was unsure whether she would have the strength to do it. With typical determination, because she considered the original production to have been a big break and because starting and ending her career with the same project would lend it a pleasing symmetry, she gathered her strength and saw it through. The finished result, recorded in just two days, will be released posthumously.
One of this blogger's favourite actors, the terrific Dudley Sutton was also died this week, aged eighty five, was an actor who epitomised the Elizabethan view of thespians as rogues and vagabonds, 'cony-catchers and bawdy-baskets.' His face provided theatre critics with years of poetic inspiration. They described him as 'a debauched cherub' and 'a fallen angel'; the Gruniad Morning Star's Michael Billington admired his 'baby-face battered with experience' in a production of Strindberg's After The Fire at The Gate Theatre in 1997, while another said of Sutton in Sam Shepard's Curse Of The Starving Class at The Royal Court twenty years earlier that he was 'the only actor who can upstage a baby lamb,' spluttering insults from the side of his mouth 'like a rustic WC Fields.' Dudley was powered by stern beliefs and a desire to upset the applecart, traits that produced well-observed turns in a vast rogues' gallery of colourful supporting roles. His most famous television part was in the BBC's Lovejoy (1986 to 1994), which starred Ian McShane as a scallywag East Anglian antiques dealer and Sutton as his friend and fellow rogue, Tinker. Dudley originally turned down the role of Tinker Dill as he was written as a slovenly, dirty old scruff. Living opposite the antiques market in Chelsea, Sutton knew how antiques dealers really dressed and so sported a three-piece tweed suit, silk hanky and beret, making the part his own and the character a huge hit with audiences.
Dudley was born into a working-class family in Kingston upon Thames; his father was a slot-machine manufacturer. Dudley won a place at Moffats, a Hertfordshire boarding school, which relocated to Devon at the outbreak of the second world war. He was impressed with the wealth of culture the school offered him, but his social background made him feel at odds with his fellow pupils. His embarrassment at being chosen to play a girl in the school play (thanks to his blond hair and blue eyes) quickly turned to excitement, however, as he fell in love with performing. After school, he joined the RAF for five years, working as a mechanic and starring in amateur productions. He was encouraged by an education officer to apply to RADA and enrolled in 1955, but he quickly grew bored and dispirited with the hierarchical atmosphere and plays reinforcing class stereotypes. He preferred to spend his days reading Camus and Sartre in Soho coffee bars, frustrated that the world seemed to be bursting with new ideas everywhere except at his drama school. He visited Joan Littlewood's Theatre Workshop in East London and as he stepped off the tube found himself in a land 'full of pollution, with railway yards and a Yardley's perfume factory and these little half-doored two-up two-down workers' cottages and I thought "this is brilliant." I went to this really beat-up, scruffy theatre and I loved it. It was everything my father hated.' He took to working in a coffee bar, fraternising with 'teddy boys, hookers and these amazing West Indians who were selling spliffs,' was dismissed from RADA and joined Theatre Workshop, appearing in productions including the original version of Lionel Bart's Fings Ain't Wot They Used T'Be. Littlewood believed not in stars but in collective genius, an ideology that Sutton stood by for the rest of his life. His political education, however, came more from his friendship with the Irish writer Brendan Behan, which flourished when Sutton appeared in a production of Behan's play The Hostage in 1959, than it did from company members: he disliked Littlewood's sentimentality about the working class and she criticised him for being 'middle-class, arty and public school.' It was an exciting, fractious company and Sutton appeared alongside such distinctive actors as Brian Murphy, Yootha Joyce, Barbara Windsor and Richard Harris. He was Malcolm in a 1957 production of Macbeth with Harris that travelled to the Moscow Art theatre and he adored Harris as much for his unruly behaviour as his theatrical force. His most significant role on stage was heading the original cast of Entertaining Mister Sloane at The New Arts Theatre, then Wyndham's, in 1964. He found a kindred spirit in the playwright, Joe Orton: 'To fight the demon of homophobia with a West End comedy was brilliant,' Sutton thought. Dudley was vehemently committed to the legalisation of homosexuality, having seen gay friends hounded and humiliated. Two of his earliest roles in the cinema, in The Boys (1962) and The Leather Boys (1964), both directed by Sidney J Furie, allowed him to act on his beliefs. While filming the latter, in which he played a gay biker, he threw the producer off the set after being told he was 'not being camp enough.'
In his first television appearances he found he was 'giving away the family secrets' with over-expression, so instead he grew skilled at closing down his emotions, which led to a decade playing unnervingly cold fish in a variety of series. After he gave an intense performance as Eddy Black in The Saint in 1964, Roger Moore described him as his personal favourite villain, but Dudley eventually tired of working on seemingly interchangeable crime series – while making a 1970 episode of Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased), he even tore up a scene and rewrote it with his co-star, Norman Eshley. His other TV appearances included the 1976 Christmas episode of the BBC sitcom Porridge, in which he played hostage-taker Reg Urwin, and terrific performance in an early episode of The Sweeney as well as Coronation Street, Dixon Of Dock Green, Softly Softly, The Baron, The Avengers, Department S, Z Cars, Strangers, Shine On Harvey Moon, Strangers, Bergerac, The Gentle Touch, The Beiderbecke Affair and its sequels, Boon and Hemmingway. In his later career he had a recurring role as conman Wilfred Atkins in EastEnders, as well as smaller parts in Holby City, Emmerdale and Channel Four's teen drama Skins. He also appeared in films such as The Devils, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, Rotten To The Core, Crossplot, A Town Called Bastard, Mister Forbush & The Penguins, The Football Factory and Derek Jarman's Edward II. He ducked in and out of the theatre in later years, returning triumphantly alongside Albert Finney in Ronald Eyre's production of Ronald Harwood's JJ Farr at The Phoenix in 1987 and with one-man shows at The Edinburgh Fringe, Pandora's Lunch Box in 2003 and Killing Kittens in 2006. He was also an entertaining poet, his work ranging from a Molière-inspired verse play to a eulogy on the glory days of London's public conveniences. Dudley was married four times and is survived by his three children, Peter, Barnaby and Fanny.
TV host and comedy writer Denis Norden has died aged ninety six, his family has said. The It'll Be Alright On The Night host died on Wednesday after spending 'many weeks' at the Royal Free Hospital in London, a statement said. Norden wrote his first script for the BBC - Let's Go To The Holborn - in 1941 at the age of nineteen. He teamed up with the comic Frank Muir between 1947 and the early 1960s, writing comedies including BBC radio's hugely popular Take It From Here. In 1977, Norden became the host of the ITV clip show It'll Be Alright On The Night and he presented it until his retirement aged eighty four in 2006. Norden's children Nick and Maggie said that they wanted to thank 'all the dedicated staff and doctors who have looked after him with much devotion.' The statement added: 'A wonderful dad, a loving grandfather and great great-grandfather - he gave his laughter-mongering to so many.' Yet, behind the comedy there was a much darker story. One day during the closing days of the second world war, three young comics went to find some lights for a show they were doing. They were entertaining the RAF in Northern Germany and had been told they would find what they needed at a nearby camp which had recently been liberated. The camp was Bergen-Belsen. None of them knew what evil had happened there. 'We didn't know what to expect,' recalled Norden half-a-century later. 'We had not heard a word about it.' Norden and his two friends - Ron Rich and Eric Sykes - dumped the lights. They went straight back to their own camp and picked up whatever spare food they could find. 'Appalled, aghast, repelled - it is difficult to find words to express how we felt as we looked upon the degradation of some of the inmates not yet repatriated,' he said. Seventy thousand people had died in Bergen-Belsen, most of them by starvation. 'As far as I could see, all these pitiable wrecks had one thing in common. None of them was standing.' Norden was deeply moved by what he had just seen. Nor could he bear the sight of hungry German children hanging round outside the RAF base. 'After seeing the camp, you could in theory hold it against the Germans, but you couldn't hold it against these German kids,' he told the BBC. They handed out their own rations to dozens of small, eager hands. It was a shattering experience for the young Denis Norden, who then had the near impossible task of putting it all out of his mind, walking on stage and making men laugh.
Denis Mostyn Norden was born into a Jewish family in Hackney in February 1922. He was academic and bookish, winning a scholarship to the City of London School. The novelist Kingsley Amis was a fellow pupil. 'I was very tall, very skinny and always had my nose in a book,' Dennis remembered. He also had a burning desire for adventure. He wrote to the Daily Express at the age of sixteen and asked if he could accompany the foreign correspondent to the civil war in Spain. To his amazement the journalist agreed, but his parents put their foot down. So he turned his mind to another ambition. 'I'd seen a photo in Life magazine of two Hollywood screenwriters beside a swimming pool being served drinks by two blondes and I couldn't imagine a better life than that,' he recalled. To find out what audiences wanted, he left school and - at the age of eighteen - became Britain's youngest cinema manager. When the war intervened, he became an RAF wireless operator, teamed up with Sykes and branched out into performing for the troops. Demobbed, he started writing for radio and found himself teamed up with fellow aspiring comic, Frank Muir. The man who brought them together was Ted Kavanagh, producer of Tommy Handley's wartime radio hit It's That Man Again. Kavanagh asked if they would be averse to writing together. 'Not a whit averse,' they replied simultaneously. The fact that they spontaneously used the same arcane phrase showed how their minds could work as one. They would become one of the most successful comedy writing partnerships in British history starting on television in 1947 with a drama, Gerry's Inn. And, one of its most influential - Danny Baker, for example, has based an entire career on the sort of quick-witted wordplay of Denis and Frank's best work. Between them the pair wrote three hundred episodes of Take It From Here with Jimmy Edwards and, later, June Whitfield. The series lasted eleven years and created such memorable characters as The Glums. Their catchphrases like 'Trouble at t'mill' and 'Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells' are still part of the language. There were collaborations with Peter Sellers and other hits including Bedtime With Braden and the television series Whack-O! and Faces Of Jim, both starring their old colleague Jimmy Edwards. They also wrote the satirical sketch Balham, Gateway To The South for the BBC Third Programme. The sketch, which had originally been broadcast in 1948 as part of a comedy series called The Third Division and which featured actor Robert Beatty, was later performed by Peter Sellers for his LP, The Best Of Sellers (1959). Muir and Norden were also responsible for some of the most memorable Carry On lines - most notably Carry On Cleo's legendary 'Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me' - which Talot Rohwell borrowed, with Denis and Frank's permission, from a joke they had once written for Take It From Here. In the early 1960s, Norden and Muir came up with the television legal comedy Brothers In Law, starring Richard Briers and, subsequently, a spin-off, Mister Justice Duncannon. They were given a three-year contract as BBC consultants and scriptwriters. Muir loved it but Norden found the corporation stifling. 'I wasn't much good at it and didn't like it,' Norden said. 'At the end, I just wanted to leave and be independent again.' The partnership ended amicably when Muir opted to stay with the BBC full time. They did work together after that - frequently appearing on quiz programmes like My Word! and My Music. But, for the first time in twenty years, Norden was without a full-time writing partner. 'When you're on your own, there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out,' he said. So great was Norden's need for reassurance that he would hand the pages of his scripts to a secretary in another office and then creep back and listen outside her door hoping to hear chuckles. 'Then, after that came word processors and it's hard to make them laugh,' he noted. Norden hadn't forgotten his childhood ambition to write for Hollywood. He co-scripted an Oscar-nominated screenplay for Buona Sera, Mrs Campbell starring Gina Lollobrigida, but it was as a performer that he became better known.
        In 1977, he was chatting to Paul Smith, the future producer of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, in the canteen at London Weekend Television. Over lunch, they were giggling about the infamous Blue Peter clip where an elephant proved the old adage about never working with children or animals, particularly on live television. One of their wondered aloud if you could do a whole show based on hilarious outtakes. They rang Michael Grade, LWT's director of programmes and, within half-an-hour they had a commission, a budget and even a title - It'll Be Alright On The Night. The show ran for twenty nine years. 'Well, it's not the best title,' Norden recalled thinking as they left Michael Grade's office. 'But we'd better go with it.' At first, news programmes refused to release their howlers - but eventually relented. Actors and producers were also wary, but discovered that - with repeat fees - they could often get paid more for getting it wrong than getting it right. Norden masterminded the whole production, choosing the clips, writing the scripts and delivering them, clipboard in hand, in his inimitable, avuncular slightly self-mocking style. 'It's like running a farm where the manure is worth more than the cattle,' he would joke. The show was copied around the world and spawned many a clone, even before YouTube made comic pratfalls a cottage industry. 'One of the necessities for a good clip is that you can't second-guess it. The trouble with a lot of blooper shows nowadays is that you can see what's coming,' he would lament. His favourite clip was of a hapless regional TV reporter offering a tray of delicacies to the great British public out shopping. 'Are you feeling peckish?' asked the journalist. 'No, I'm Turkish,' came the confused reply. A spin-off, Laughter File, first broadcast in 1991, showed spoof adverts, real foreign adverts, practical jokes, live television mistakes and other various 'oddities', which Norden said, 'tickled our fancies, just when they needed tickling.'
A little uncomfortably for someone whose main role at ITV was to poke fun at television going wrong, Norden was tangentially involved in a prime example of it. In 1978, he and Muir wrote (based on an earlier radio version) The Glums, a half-hour domestic sitcom that was one of the segments of Bruce's Big Night, a catastrophically-received attempt to base the entire ITV peak-time Saturday schedule around Bruce Forsyth. Norden was still working into his eighties until failing eyesight forced him to retire in 2006. A haemorrhage at the back of his eye meant that he could no longer see the clips. Naturally rather shy, Denis Norden never saw himself as a performer. A marvellous wit and raconteur, in his own mind he was simply a 'writer who keeps getting wheeled out.' In truth, he was far happier at home than on stage - with his two children and his wife Avril, whom he married in 1943 and who died earlier this year. For years, he resisted writing an autobiography, claiming that Frank Muir had pretty much covered everything in his own memoir, A Kentish Lad. A book called The Bits Frank Left Out would be 'disappointingly brief,' he said. But, in his eighties and by now partially sighted, he changed his mind. He used a special computer which read back what he had typed, although it was a long and painful process. Clips From A Life was published in 2008. What shines through is his love of working with other comedians and the challenge of making other people funny. And, looking back over more than seventy years in comedy, he counted himself 'supremely fortunate' to have worked at the time that he did. 'We not only lived through the golden age of so many forms of popular entertainment,' he wrote. 'We were present at the birth of them, enjoyed their heyday and were there to mourn their passing.' Although absent from TV in the last decade of his life, Norden retained a legacy and presence through reboots. Just three weeks before his death, David Walliams became the second successor to Norden (following Griff Rhys Jones) in another peak-time ITV revival of It'll Be Alright On The Night. Fittingly, the edition of Private Eye published on the day of Norden's death included a punchline punning on the 'infamy!' line. Denis Norden, funny to - and beyond - the last.
And finally, dear blog reader, a big, big thank you to all of you for your continued patronage of this blog. After a period of steady, 'three thousand(ish) hits per day,' the last week has seen From The North's daily numbers rise - possibly as a result of the approach of the next series of Doctor Who. This blogger knows that this is a little thing in the great scheme of the universe, but it does mean a lot to yer actual Keith Telly Topping. So thank you for allowing us into your homes (or, if you're reading on your phone on the bus, into your ... buses).

The Thirteenth Doctor - as played by yer actual Jodie Whittaker (you knew that, right?) - arrived in Sheffield for the press screening of the first episode of the new series of Doctor Who on Monday accompanied by twelve friends. All of whom had, seemingly, committed something of an ultimate fashion faux pas and turned up to a party wearing the same gear. The event was extremely preceded by a red carpet parade of the cast and crew, attended by some lucky fans who had won tickets in a public ballot.
So, as you can imagine dear blog reader, Doctor Who fans gathered in their masses in Sheffield to celebrate the press premiere of the first episode of the new series. Jodie Whittaker walked the red carpet before the screening, as did her co-stars That There Bradley Walsh, Mandip Gill and Tosin Cole. The premiere came two weeks before the show will be launching on yer actual Beeb1 (see below). It took place in Sheffield, largely because the first episode - The Woman Who Fell To Earth - is set in that particular fine South Yorkshire city. 'It's exciting because we've worked so hard on it for the last couple of years, so to get to celebrate and share with the fans and potentially with new fans we know what's coming and we can't wait to share it,' said Jodie, herself a Yorkshire-type person, of course. 'And, also being in Sheffield - to conclude this epic journey here is great.'
The BBC has confirmed that Doctor Who will debut at 6.45pm on Sunday 7 October. The Woman Who Fell To Earth, will run from 6.45pm to 7.45pm on BBC1. 'In a South Yorkshire city, Ryan Sinclair, Yasmin Khan and Graham O'Brien are about to have their lives changed forever, as a mysterious woman, unable to remember her own name, falls from the night sky,' reads the episode synopsis. 'Can they believe a word she says? And can she help solve the strange events taking place across the city?' Go on, guess! Doctor Who will be broadcast directly after the hugely popular Countryfile. And, it will be followed by the Strictly Come Dancing results show. ITV will be offering a game show in opposition, Five Gold Rings presented by Philip Schofield (tragically, without either Holly Willoughby or, indeed, Gordon The Gopher). BBC2 will be showing King Arthur's Britain: The Truth Unearthed a - really rather good - documentary, previously shown on BBC4, delving into the murky historical period of the Arthurian legends. Channel Four viewers can enjoy Phil Spencer's Stately Homes, wherein the property expert returns to look round more of Britain's stately homes, beginning with Longleat House in Wiltshire. Channel Five is showing the 2013 feature film Jack The Giant Slayer. BBC America has confirmed that Doctor Who will be simulcast, making a transmission time of 1.45pm East Coast Time. So, that'll be, like, three hours earlier for all this blogger's chums in California.
Anyway, back to Monday's press event: Jodie said that she wanted to bring 'an energy and childlike enthusiasm and joy and hope' to the long-running show's first female Doctor. Despite much discussion about her gender, she described the Time Lady as 'one of the [most] genderless roles I've ever played' whilst admitting it would 'sometimes be relevant' in the worlds or historical periods her character visits. The first episode's debut was followed by a question and answer session with Jodie and new showrunner Chris Chibnall who described Jodie's Doctor as 'fizzing, funny [and] smart.' He added that he is hoping to make Doctor Who's new Sunday evening slot 'a weekly appointment for families' in an age when young viewers are used to bingeing on any number of glossy edge-of-the-seat adventure shows. 'This is Doctor Who in an era of Netflix - you've got to keep up,' he told Radio Times. 'You've got to keep up with Black Mirror, you've got to keep up with all the DC shows in the US. So it's just making sure it's fit for purpose. I think you tell great stories with great actors. And you tell stories that feel resonant to people's lives.'
The event was covered on the BBC's national News At Six and also on the regional news magazine show, Look North.
The next series of Doctor Who is all about newness - a new Doctor, three new companions, a new showrunner and a new title sequence and a remix of the theme tune. Segun Akinola is the composer for series eleven of the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama, writing the music for all ten episodes of series eleven (plus the Christmas special), as well as providing a fresh take on the legendary theme. However, Chris Chibnall has announced that The Woman Who Fell To Earth, may not open with the revamped titles and music. 'You'll have to wait till episode two to see [the new titles and theme] in situ,' The Chib said in the latest issue of Doctor Who Magazine. 'Episode one starts a little differently.'
Meanwhile, The Chib his very self has also revealed his 'Doctor Who manifesto' to Radio Times, including thirteen reasons to watch the new series. 'As I came to the end of Broadchurch, I was mulling over ideas for my next projects. All that changed when Steven Moffat, my predecessor as Doctor Who showrunner, ambushed me over dinner, saying, "I'm sorry but I'm about to derail your life. I'm leaving Doctor Who. We've all had a chat and agreed you're the best person to take over,' Chibnall told the magazine. 'I think my mouth opened and closed silently for a few moments, like a fish. My first childhood memories, my first memories of being alive, are of Doctor Who - a strange, hypnotic set of images and sounds, monsters emerging from the sea, drawing me towards the corner of the lounge. Seemingly aimed at me as a young child, but also slightly forbidden, a bit too grown up - a show happy to scare and thrill and entertain me and my parents. I vividly remember discussing the first cliffhanger sight of a Sontaran, in 1973, with my beloved great aunt Billie. She died young, nine years later. I wish she was here now to see Jodie Whittaker's Doctor crash to Earth.' The thirteen reasons, incidentally, if you've only got an attention span of seven seconds and can't be bothered to read the article are as follows: You don't need to know anything about Doctor Who; Each episode will be a new adventure; That There Bradley Walsh is a proper star; But he's not the only one; Here be monsters; The Doctor's a woman - and that's okay!; The theme music is the same ... almost!; The mystery of the missing TARDIS continues; New stars, new writers; You won't find it on Saturday night; We've been keeping our secrets close to our chest; There's a galaxy of stars and We can all live the dream.
Yer actual Jodie Whittaker has been chatting a lot about her latest role of late. You might have noticed, dear blog reader. After revealing that she is 'not being paid less than any other Doctor' and saying, magnificently, that she 'can't even begin to debate' arsehole shitscum sexist bigots (of whom, there aren't many but those that there are have sodding big gobs), Jodie has talked about one 'depressing' aspect of her new role. Discussing the significance of The Doctor being a woman, Jodie told Stylist: 'It's a moment that's incredibly important, but also slightly depressing that it's 2018.' She continued: 'I want to enjoy it. I mean what a thing, for the rest of my life, for that to be me. But this has got to be the end of it being a big surprise.' Jodie added that 'we should look up to characters regardless of their gender. This is hopefully a moment that leads to us realising that we can have female heroes. Gravity made millions and millions of dollars; Wonder Woman made millions and millions of dollars. We should look up to characters regardless of their gender.' She also pointed out that she is 'playing an alien' ergo 'let's not limit ourselves to only looking up to people who look like us.' Word, sister. 'That's the future we want. And to realise that having different points of view in a situation is interesting and exciting, not terrifying. And mine isn't that different. I sometimes feel like being a woman is like talking about being an alien.'
In a - rather entertaining - lifestyle piece with the Gruniad Morning Star this week, Jodie also revealed, amongst other things, that she drinks half a bottle of wine a day. Bloody Hell, half a bottle, Jode? Every day? That's borderline alcoholism, isn't it? You might want to cut back, Jodie m'love - unlike The Doctor, your liver doesn't regenerate every few years.
Mind you, a handful of her TARDIS predecessors also had considerable form in exactly this sort of dirty rotten plonky-style behaviour. As illustrated here ...
With the Doctor Who press launch taking place on Monday, the next week will see promotion for Jodie Whittaker's debut series begin in earnest, with the show's new lead making appearances on a number of BBC television and radio programmes. The current schedule includes appearances on Shaun Keaveny's 6Music show on Thursday 27 September from 7:00am, Jodie getting on the sofa at The Graham Norton Showon Friday, Saturday Breakfast With Dermot O'Dreary on Radio 2 on Saturday from 8:00am and Saturday Mash Up! on CBBC also Saturday from 9:00am.
Starburst magazine - which this blogger must admit he's surprised to discover is still going - has claimed that one of their reporters has been told (well, actually, the word they used was 'suggested [to]') that this year's Doctor Who Christmas episode will be set on - and, presumably, broadcast on - New Year's Day rather than the traditional Christmas Day. 'It's just a suggestion at this stage and we're fully prepared to end up with egg on our face,' the magazine notes. 'But ... there may not be a Doctor Who Christmas Special at all this year. Instead, we might well be getting a Seasonal Special on the first day of next year.'
Hit BBC drama Bodyguard had an overnight average 10.4 million viewers as the series drew to a suitably thrilling close on Sunday. The audience reached its peak - eleven million - in its final five minutes. The overnight ratings make the show - the brainchild of Line Of Duty creator Jed Mercurio - the most watched drama of the year so far. In fact, it is the biggest overnight drama figure for British TV since 10.5 million saw Downton Abbey's series two finale in November 2011. No BBC drama has drawn a bigger overnight audience since Doctor Who, whose Christmas Day episode in 2008 was seen by 11.7 million viewers (although several episodes of Sherlock and a couple of Doctor Who have had larger final and consolidated figures). The figure for Bodyguard, of course, does not take into account the number of people watching in pubs or on outdoor big screens or, indeed, those who will watch the episode in the coming days on iPlayer. The final, consolidated audience figure will be released by BARB in around a week's time. Mercurio told the BBC that he was 'humbled, delighted and grateful' at the show's success and credited 'the magnetism of the leads.' He added: 'I don't think you can plan for success, all you can do is create something you think people will be interested in.' On talk of a second series, he said: 'We're just starting those talks, it's still too early to say.' Richard Madden - who played the show's ex-soldier turned protection officer David Budd - retweeted a thank you from the BBC to everyone who was watching the 'epic finale.' Anjli Mohindra, who played suicide bomber Nadia, praised Mercurio for putting so many female actors in powerful roles in the show. 'I do believe Jed Mercurio wrote a list of those roles as gender neutral and the right person with the right energy got the job,' she told the BBC. Mercurio also offered his thanks on Twitter to the show's makers, stars and fans. And, found time to set his followers straight over some examples of 'Bodyguard pedantry.' The director of BBC content, Charlotte Moore, praised the finale for the way it 'gripped the nation and got everyone talking ... in a display of masterful storytelling.' Simon Heath the CEO and creative director of World Productions said: 'At a time when we are told that linear TV is dying, it has been thrilling to see the number of viewers flocking to watch Bodyguard live. We're so grateful for all their support.' TV critics at most of the nations were effusive in their praise for the episode. Sara Wallis at the Daily Mirrawrote: 'If the nation's heart rate could have been monitored during the mind-blowing finale of BBC1's Bodyguard, it would have been off the scale.' Th Sun's Andy Halls added: 'There were moments last night where, for a good thirty seconds or so, I genuinely held my breath. Don't get me wrong, there were moments of genuinely ludicrous action. But is it the best new drama we've had in years and the best thing on TV in 2018.' Loathsome and worthless bigot Jan Moir from the Daily Scum Mailweaselled: 'There is a fine line between great drama and absurdity and there were moments when Bodyguard and its bloodied Caped Crusader nearly fell into total farce. Yet it never did. The tense scenes managed to be both gripping and touching. Bryony Gordon of the Daily Torygraphwrote: 'Watching the final episode unfold felt a bit like witnessing a grade-A student open up their envelope on exam results day to find a string of Bs. It had tried too hard to impress and ended up collapsing under the weight of its own expectations.' This was a view almost, but not quite, shared by Carol Midgley at The Times: 'Hallelujah for that last cracking ten minutes of Bodyguard. Because up until then I was finding this climax a touch underwhelming. There were many plot holes here but this was event TV and Mercurio, skilled at wrongfooting his viewers, gave us two final twists.' The Gruniad Morning Star's Lucy Mangan was far more impressed: 'It has all been a retro-rush. Weekly episodes parcelled out like old times. Cliffhangers you talked about next day by the new watercooler, Twitter.' Mike Ward of the Daily Scum Expressgushed: 'Bear in mind the story still has several tantalising loose ends. Not wishing to put pressure on Mercurio, but series two can't come quickly enough.' Perhaps the best review was by From The North favourite Keith Watson at the Metro - fresh from getting a trousers-down hiding from this blogger over his sneery review of the opening episode of Killing Eve last week. Cool Keith, thankfully, got back his mojo this time around: 'After all the theories, the clues, the Jed herrings, the blind alleys, what did mercurial writer Jed Mercurio serve up for his Bodyguard finale? A massive explosion, a security service-led coup d’état, a resurrection? Not on your life, he rolled out that mother of all shockers: a happy ending. Of sorts. This has been a brilliant, compulsive, five-star mind-trip of a series, a reminder that when mainstream TV gets it right, we can still be turned into water-cooler junkies on a Monday morning. So, it seems a tad churlish to knock a star off at the eleventh hour. But the pay-off made you wonder if this was a show where they filmed five different endings and finished up picking one with a Hollywood remake in mind ... Yes, there were moments when plot plausibility was stretched to breaking point but such was Bodyguard's swagger that they were easy to forgive. Loose ends were tied, villains unmasked. But we still don't know, for sure, for absolute definite, that Home Secretary siren Julia Montague is dead. Yes, we're clinging to that theoretical thread. Roll on series two.' What he said.
Speaking of From The North favourite Killing Eve, there's a very good piece by John Dugdale in the Gruniad Morning Star in praise of Phoebe Waller-Bridge's creative decisions in her adaptation of Luke Jennings' original Villanelle novels. It has also been announced this week (on the Devon Live website if not anywhere slightly more high-profile) that filming on the second series of Killing Eve has already begun and may, allegedly, be 'finished by Christmas.'
Episode two of Killing Eve - for those who are still watching on telly as opposed to having downloaded the whole series off iPlayer - got a glowing review from the Torygraph, which you can check out here, dear blog reader.
From The North's TV Comedy Line Of The Week comes, as usual, from Monday's episode of this blogger's beloved Qi, another particularly entertaining one - Piecemeal. Good old mental-as-anything Giles Brandreth's description of the late Fanny Craddock for those younger viewers who may not remember the shrill, full-of-hr-own-importance TV chef of days gone by as: 'An interesting cross between Mary Berry and Jeremy Clarkson!' Funny and accurate.
Jenna Coleman's - much-trailed - new drama The Cry finally has a release date; it will fill the void left by Bodyguard. The four-part series will launch on Sunday 30 September at 9pm. The Cry follows Coleman's Joanna as she struggles to cope after the birth of her first child with her husband, Alister (Top Of The Lake's Ewan Leslie). After the family relocate to Australia, their newborn suddenly goes missing and the couple's already fragmented relationship unravels further, as does Joanna's state of mind and her faith in her capabilities as a mother. The disorientating psychological drama is adapted from the best-selling novel by Helen Fitzgerald, although viewers are warned that the conclusion is revealed in the first page of the book. So, if you're one of those people who likes to avoid spoilers, you might want to give that one a miss. Speaking previously about the challenges that the role presented, Jenna said: 'I first read Jacquelin Perske's script on a plane. It felt like walking a tightrope, racing page to page, unsettling, unknowable, uncomfortable, and thrilling. I look forward to tackling this challenge and bringing it to the screen.' The ensemble cast also features familiar faces from Australia and Scotland, including Asher Keddie, Stella Gonet and Alex Dimitriades.
Bodyguard has been a huge (critical and ratings) hit for BBC1 and now it has been announced that the acclaimed drama is coming to Netflix. The streaming network has acquired the rights to show the thriller outside the UK and Ireland. However, it is not the BBC that has done the deal. In fact, the show has been sold to Netflix by ITV Studios. The drama was made by production company World Productions, which was bought by ITV's programme-making and distribution subsidiary ITV Studios last year. Deals like this are now normal practice in the TV world. Media commentator and journalist Kate Bulkley says that public service broadcasters like the BBC and ITV have been doing more commercial tie-ups like this in recent years as a way to stay competitive. 'The market for programmes and series is getting increasingly competitive because we have many more players who are eager to get their hands on premium content,' Bulkley told the BBC. 'They include Netflix, Amazon, Apple, Facebook and YouTube - it's important for the BBC and ITV to up their game and compete for the talent and the projects that will hopefully be hits.' World Productions has also made Line Of Duty for the BBC, The Bletchley Circle for ITV and Save Me for Sky Atlantic. And, ITV Studios makes one of the BBC's other biggest hits, Poldark, through another of the production companies it has snapped up, Mammoth Screen. This strategy has helped to boost ITV Studios' revenues by thirteen per cent to £1.6bn in 2017. It claims to be the world's fastest-growing production and distribution business. Netflix was brought in as an investor during Bodyguard's early production stages in exchange for international rights to stream it. Netflix now has a number of partnerships with UK production companies and broadcasters for shows including Channel Four's The Great British Bake Off and the BBC's Black Earth Rising and Wanderlust. ITV Studios international president Maria Kyriacou said Bodyguard was 'a perfect example of a show produced locally which has huge global appeal.' Bulkley adds that the increasing pressure to compete commercially to produce and sell top quality content, spurred on by the growth of Netflix and Amazon Prime, has been felt in the BBC too. Like ITV, the corporation now has its own commercial arm, BBC Studios, which is free to make content for other broadcasters. 'BBC Studios is a relatively new business - there used to be BBC Worldwide, which was the commercial arm who would sell programmes made by BBC, Channel Four and ITV,' Bulkley explains. 'But in April this year it was put together with the in-house production business of the BBC and the whole entity was renamed BBC Studios.' This decision came about because the BBC felt it should be allowed to sell to other broadcast companies and make money just like studios associated with ITV and Channel Four do. 'There is now a fully commercialised production entity, which is good for the BBC because it means that they are not only producing for the BBC but for other broadcasters - the idea is that the best ideas win and if the BBC doesn't want [to broadcast] a certain programme they can make it for someone else. It has been hard for the past BBC production team to think more commercially, so freeing them up has given them a whole new perspective.' The Netflix deal for Bodyguard was announced on the day BBC Director General Tony Hall told the Royal Television Society that the corporation risked 'getting left behind' in the face of limited funding. 'A decade ago, premium high-end drama might have cost one million pounds an hour in today's money,' he said. 'Premium drama today costs many times that figure routinely. That has resulted in the BBC needing to spend significantly more just to stand still.' Bulkley says that the 'content arms race' is only going to continue as broadcasters and streaming services compete for shows they think will bring in viewers. 'With Bodyguard, it was a commercial deal for a premium drama, which costs you five to six million pounds an episode because you have to pay actors and directors and also because you want it to look good - you have to go to locations and make them look slick,' she says. 'In this competitive environment you have to make shows stand out, so what's happening is a lot more creative deal making. In the old days, the BBC would make a show and sell it round the world - now they need to be able to greenlight a project quicker because other companies like Netflix and Amazon have big chequebooks. To make these premium deals you need money and you need to move quickly.'
A 'special' - and one uses that word quite wrongly - episode of Bargain Hunt featuring members of the Happy Mondays and Pulp had to be reshot after one of them was found to have broken the rules. The rule break was only discovered after filming had completed which meant that the end of the show needed to be recorded again. The episode saw Pulp's national treasure Jarvis Cocker and keyboard player Candida Doyle go up against Bez and Rowetta to find hidden gems at an antiques fair in Kent. Trouble soon emerged. The show's rule book does not allow for family and friends to take part in the auctions but Bez's girlfriend bid and won his team's two auction items, a mirror and a music turntable, securing them an eight quid profit which was enough to give them victory. Despite losing ninety five knicker on their auction items, Cocker's team was given the win when the infringement came to light. Bez, who handed back the eight smackers profit, said: 'It was a genuine error. My girlfriend thought she was helping out.' Executive producer Paul Tucker, whose production team is based in Cardiff, said: 'We have rules and regulations on Bargain Hunt and we have to make sure they abide by them. It was picked up by a runner and we verified there were clearly misdemeanours going on. It was a genuine rule that was broken and we had to reshoot the end.' Tucker added: 'They are rock and rollers and they live on the edge as they did in the eighties. It's not a surprise but in the end it was quite amusing.'
US cable giant Comcast has submitted the highest bid in the auction for broadcaster Sky, valuing the company at more than thirty billion smackers. Comcast beat billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch's FOX in a rare blind auction process set by the UK's Takeover Panel. Which is, it must be said, really funny ... even if it does mean that Sky customers (this blogger included) might end up paying higher subscriptions. The firm's chairman and chief executive said that it was 'a great day for Comcast.' Sky has recommended its shareholders accept the bid, saying it was 'an excellent outcome' and 'represents materially superior value.' The UK company's twenty three million subscribers and Premier League football rights make it one of Europe's most profitable TV companies. Comcast's bid equated to £17.28 per share, beating Fox's of £15.67 per share. FOX had looked set to take over the sixty one per cent of Sky it does not already own until Comcast topped its bid. In July, FOX raised its offer to twenty four and a half billion knicker, but this was trumped by a twenty six billion quid bid from Comcast. The process has also been beset by regulatory issues amid concerns over media plurality and the degree of billionaire tyrant Murdoch's influence over the UK media landscape. Brian Roberts, the chairman and chief executive of Comcast, said: 'Sky is a wonderful company with a great platform, tremendous brand, and accomplished management team. This acquisition will allow us to quickly, efficiently and meaningfully increase our customer base and expand internationally. We now encourage Sky shareholders to accept our offer, which we look forward to completing before the end of October 2018.' Jeremy Darroch, Sky chief executive, said it was 'the beginning of the next exciting chapter for Sky.' He added: 'As part of a broader Comcast we believe we will be able to continue to grow and strengthen our position as Europe's leading direct to consumer media company.' In a statement, FOX grumbled that it was 'considering its options' for the thirty nine per cent shareholding it currently has in Sky. It added: 'We are proud to have played such a significant role in building the incredible value reflected today in Comcast's offer.' The future of Sky has been hanging in the balance for more than eight years. The process began when billionaire tyrant Murdoch's News Corp company put forward a bid for full control of what was then BSkyB. That bid was scuppered by the phone-hacking scandal which engulfed billionaire tyrant Murdoch's UK tabloid newspapers - notably the disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World - and tarnished the firm's - already dodgy - reputation. The bid was revived in December 2016, by which time News Corp had been broken up, leaving Twenty First Century FOX as one of its successors. The process has been complicated by Disney's deal to buy most of FOX's assets, which is due to be completed next year if approved by international regulators. In the end this epic battle was settled by a very rare three round auction organised by the UK Takeover Panel. If the sealed bids had been very close, Twenty First Century FOX and its new owner Disney may have battled on. But the thirty plus billion quid offer tabled by Comcast was ten per cent more than Disney-backed FOX was offering and was described as 'a knockout blow' by people close to the deal. Both companies wanted Sky and its twenty three million subscribers to help them compete against new streaming competitors like Netflix and Amazon. The victory will be sweet revenge for Brian Roberts who lost out to Disney in a previous battle to buy Twenty First Century FOX. In the end, Comcast perhaps needed it more urgently with their home market in the US dwindling. But the biggest cheers will be from Sky shareholders - who have seen the value of the company driven up by two deep-pocketed rivals in the auction room. Comcast will pay them £17.28 a share - nearly double what they were worth a year ago. A necessary reminder, dear blog reader, that, as with most things in life, ultimately greed always wins.
BBC2 is being completely rebranded for the first time in more than twenty five years as the channel looks to reinvent itself in the face of threats from streaming services such as Netflix. The channel's controller, Patrick Holland, also confirmed BBC2 was working with the Black Mirror creator, yer actual Charlie Brooker, to develop new programmes and revealed Eva Green, Eve Hewson and Marton Csokas would star in a big-budget adaptation of Eleanor Catton's Booker prize-winning novel The Luminaries. Holland said traditional television channels still had 'enormous influence' and he could offer 'a curated channel in an age where you've got all of this choice.' But, with the average age of a BBC2 viewer now in their sixties, the channel was facing up to the need to reach a younger audience, he said. BBC2 has already refocused its budget towards its primetime output but Holland said his channel's ability to 'broadcast to millions of people on any given evening' meant it 'could still set the tone' of the national debate. 'Netflix cannot do that, Amazon cannot do that. An ongoing schedule gives you an ongoing dialogue with the audience. I wouldn't swap that for anything.' As part of the revamp, BBC2 will drop its on-screen identity based around physical representations of the number two, which it has used in various forms since the early 1990s. This will be replaced by a series of colourful visualisations based on a simple curve, which the controller said represented the channel's 'constant evolution, constant eclecticism, constant sense of quality.' Whatever that means. It is also 'easier to rework and cheaper to create than the old branding.' Holland said that Brooker was working on new projects. 'He's still working for us. There are things cooking. They haven't finished cooking yet. They're still in development,' he said. Other programmes heading to the channel include Riz Ahmed's Englistan, which will tell the story of three generations of a British Pakistani family; the 'quite pricey' drama MotherFatherSon starring Richard Gere; and a new documentary series charting the rise of Syria's ruling Assad family. The controller said that he was no longer interested in commissioning celebrity-fronted documentaries, which have 'clogged up schedules' for years. 'That sense of being told things by presenters in a traditional way is something we've moved on from. When you're immersed in the story and able to make some connections yourself, it's more grownup television and more emotionally engaging.' He also said contestants on University Challenge'needed to be aware of the risk of social media abuse' before going on the quiz show. 'The most important aspect of duty of care is talking through all the things that could happen and then it's their choice whether they want to consent.' As part of the rebrand Holland is looking to work with Esme Wren, the editor of Newsnight, to 'reinvigorate' the current affairs programme and make sure it 'fits better' with the rest of the BBC2 schedule, such as by theming discussions around documentaries. 'My role on BBC2 is to try and make the channel as engaged with the modern world, to make it engaged in the big questions of our time, but to do it in a way that brings extraordinary storytelling to the fore,' he said.
The Night Manager won praise from viewers when it premiered a few years ago - including this blog - and talk of a second series has been rife ever since, even though the novel the series was based on never actually got a sequel. However, even though a second series seemed to be underway with a bunch of writers reported to have signed on to the project, one of the show's producers has now put a bit of a dampener on things. 'Actually, not being cute, I really don't know,' executive producer and son of author John Le Carré, Simon Cornwell, told Television magazine. 'We don't have scripts for it yet and we would only think about making a second series of The Night Manager if it was going to be really good. And I'm sure that Hugh [Laurie] and Tom [Hiddleston] and Olivia [Colman], who are not exactly underemployed actors, won't want to come back unless it's excellent, frankly. And, you know, we have all of Le Carré's body of work to pick from.' That's a somewhat less optimistic scenario than a few months ago, when one of the writers, Charles Cumming, gave a hopeful update and said viewers could expect 'some' of the first series' characters to return.
Game Of Thrones' legacy in Northern Ireland is to be celebrated by converting several filming locations into tourist attractions. As the hit adult fantasy drama finishes filming in Northern Ireland after a decade, fans will be given the opportunity to visit sets from the show. Formal tours of Linen Mill Studios in Banbridge, where some of the action is shot, are among the attractions. Each site will also feature displays of costumes, props and weapons. Sets for locations such as Winterfell, Castle Black and Kings Landing will be opened to the public. It is hoped they will open some time in 2019. 'HBO is thrilled to celebrate the work of the Game Of Thrones creative team and crew by preserving these locations and inviting fans to visit Northern Ireland and explore Westeros in person,' HBO's Jeff Peters said. 'We look forward to opening the gates and sharing the excitement of stepping inside these amazing sets with Game Of Thrones fans from around the world. The opportunity to celebrate Northern Ireland's pivotal role in the life and legacy of the show and share its culture, beauty and warmth is also a huge inspiration behind these legacy projects.' John McGrillen, chief executive of Tourism NI, said the project would be 'a game-changer for Northern Ireland on a global tourism level. We very much welcome this exciting announcement by HBO and look forward to attracting many more visitors to our beautiful country as a result, he added. Councillor Paul Greenfield of Armagh City, Banbridge and Craigavon Borough Council said the Line Mill Studio tour would be 'a boost for the region' and for Northern Ireland as a whole. 'For many years Titanic Belfast and the Causeway Coast have dominated the tourist trail in Northern Ireland. This announcement by HBO gives us an opportunity to add a third significant destination to the tourist trail in Northern Ireland and this will allow us to retain tourists in Northern Ireland for longer periods of time, as well as attract new group of tourists interested in screen tourism.' Last year a tapestry chronicling the story of the epic was opened at the Ulster Museum in Belfast and a series of decorated doors referencing key scenes were unveiled at venues across Northern Ireland.
Yer actual Benedict Cumberbatch has spoken for the first time about stepping in to stop a cyclist being robbed in Central London. The Sherlock actor told chat show host Ellen DeGeneres tat he saw 'a delivery guy getting surrounded by some guys' last November and stopped to intervene. 'I didn't think twice about knives or acid or any of the other things that can be part of that situation so it was a bit foolhardy,' he revealed. The actor was hailed a hero when details of the incident emerged this year. In an interview broadcast on Monday, though, Benny said that it had 'all got a bit exaggerated' and that he felt 'a bit weird talking about it.' It was reported in June that Benny was in an Uber car with wife, Sophie Hunter, when he saw four alleged muggers set upon a Deliveroo cyclist in Marylebone High Street. The driver of the car said that the actor 'jumped out, ran over and pulled the men away' and that the alleged assailants had 'eventually run away.''I just stopped the Uber that we were in and got out and tried to calm the kids down,' said Cumberbatch when asked about the incident by DeGeneres. 'I also tried to stop traffic so they could witness it and if anything did happen, there were people there and that might scare any violence out of the situation.' No arrests were made after the incident, which was reported to the police at the time. Benny recently filmed a Channel Four docudrama about the Brexit referendum and will soon be heard playing the title character in animated film The Grinch.
Poldark's Aidan Turner has won a Stage Debut Award for his performance in The Lieutenant Of Inishmore. He won the best West End debut award, beating Breaking Bad actor Bryan Cranston and Diversity's Ashley Banjo. Turner thanked director Michael Grandage in his speech, calling the role 'one of the most incredible jobs I've ever worked on.' Turner played a terrorist deemed too violent to be a member of the IRA. One critic described him as 'a revelation.' He took a break from filming the fifth series of Poldark to accept the award. Other big winners at The Stage Debut Awards, which took place on Sunday night, included Amara Okereke for her performance in the West End's Les Miserables. She was the first black woman to play the role of Cosette. Katy Rudd won for directing The Almighty Something at Manchester Royal Exchange, whilst Akshay Sharan pick up a prize for his role as a native Pakistani who becomes disenchanted with the West post-9/11 in The Reluctant Fundamentalist at The Yard Theatre in London.
Mock The Week has been a TV comedy staple for well over a decade. But, its host explains, comedians aren't always enthusiastic to appear on it. Mad Frankie Boyle, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons are among those who experienced significant career boosts after appearing as regular panellists. These days, Dara Ó Briain and Hugh Dennis are the only two of the original line-up who remain on the show, both having appeared in every episode. But, Ó Briain tells BBC News: 'The world is full of comedians who are reluctant to do Mock The Week. Firstly, the show is quite intense anyway, even though it's not what it was when it was Frankie and Russell - that really was competitive. Now it's far looser, more fluid conversation than it was. It used to be boom, boom, cut across each other, elbows and it's just thankfully relaxed a lot now. So now we are a lot more listening to each other and riffing off each other than we ever were.' Jo Brand and Rory Bremner are among those who have said they wouldn't want to return to the show. Bremner left after two years as a regular panellist, telling The Torygraph that he felt there was 'a highly competitive and quite aggressive tendency there,' while Brand wrote in the Gruniad Morning Star: 'We just don't like the prospect of having to bite someone's foot off before they let us say something.' But in recent years, Ó Briain claims, the 'basic identity' of Mock The Week has changed and it has become 'a much less one-linery type show. Obviously, Frankie was a one-liner comedian, so he was coming in with staccato bursts of brilliant but brutal stuff that meant it wasn't conversational. Frankie is the end piece of a jigsaw. Nothing else could attach because Frankie would close the topic off with a brilliant one-liner. So it meant it was very staccato as a show. Whereas I'm much more waffly, I want to mess around, and also, the show went younger because younger comics came through. Also, you're expected to do the stand-up round, and do the walking out round, it's not an easy show to do.' Boyle's tendency to seize the limelight was perhaps most noticeable in the Scenes We'd Like To See and If This Is The Answer What Is The Question rounds. Boyle would often either get to the microphone first or come up with particularly offensive - albeit, usually hilarious - suggestions, which would be difficult for others to follow because of the huge reaction from the audience. But a look at the more recent episodes sees a more genial feel take over, where the microphone time is more evenly spread and comedians bounce off each other more. Ó Briain says: 'People are very happy to do Mock a few times, and then go, "right, I've done my Mock." So we now have settled into a position where it's me and Hugh [Dennis], moving generations of comics through.'
An Irish TV channel has grovellingly apologised after one of its promotional idents was criticised by viewers. Albeit, we're talking half-a-dozen whinging malcontents on Twitter rather than anyone that, you know, matters. TG4 aired an ident which featured computer generated giants carrying around caravans and kicking one into the sea. The ident was broadcast on the same day that a woman in Galway died after her caravan was blown into the sea by Storm Ali, a story which lead the news programme that immediately followed the broadcast of the ident. Needless to say, the Twitter whingers had something of a field-day with that. TG4 have issued a statement apologising for the broadcast, saying: 'The ident is one of a series of six, running since 2013, which are auto-scheduled. The ident broadcast once yesterday and was immediately removed from the schedule. TG4 sincerely apologise for the unfortunate scheduling of this ident and for any undue stress caused.' According to the Irish Times, TG4 has said it hasn't received any complaints about the clip to date. The woman has been named in reports as Elvira Ferraii from Switzerland. She was staying on her own near Claddaghduff, at the Clifden Eco Beach Camping and Caravan Park. The incident is said to be taken place at 7:45am on Wednesday. Storm Ali was named on 18 September when an Amber weather warning was introduced. As well as Elvira, a man in his twenties was killed by a falling tree in County Armagh. Over one hundred thousand homes in Northern Ireland lost power, with multiple roads and motorways being closed.
UK adults spend an average of twelve hours a week watching on-demand TV, around eight times longer than they spend exercising, a survey has found and the Gruniad Morning Star has reported. Only twelve? Pfft. Lightweights. This blogger manages triple that, at least, on even a poor day. Hey, what can Keith Telly Topping say, dear blog reader? It's his job. The survey also found that the average adult spend seventeen hours using a smartphone or tablet and twelve hours using social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. In comparison, they were found to spend just one hour and thirty minutes a week doing 'moderate physical activity' such as riding a bike, swimming, playing tennis or hiking. Of those questioned, fourteen per cent said they did not do any exercise at all and thirteen per cent said they did fewer than thirty minutes of moderate exercise a week, meaning twenty seven per cent of adults are classed as physically inactive. Exactly what percentage of those surveyed told the question to fek right off and mind their own sodding business is not, at this time, known. Which is a pity, frankly. Only twenty seven per cent said they did more than one hundred and fifty minutes of exercise, as recommended by the chief medical officer. The study of two thousand and seventy six adults, conducted by ComRes for the health body UKActive, found that the average UK adult spends six hundred and twenty four hours a year - or twenty six days - watching on-demand TV such as Netflix, BBC iPlayer and Amazon Prime TV. Steven Ward, the chief executive of UKActive, said: 'Advances in technology and entertainment have captured our imaginations but as we slip into box-set binges, so many people are losing the balance and enjoyment that physical activity brings to our lives.' The survey was commissioned to coincide with National Fitness Day on Wednesday, which is organised by UKActive to encourage people to take part in physical activity. 'The trick to getting more exercise is finding what motivates you to be active - it could be about fun, fitness or friends, just remember to get up and get moving,' said Ward.
Sir David Attenborough has criticised the BBC, saying it has failed to make enough arts and culture programmes. The naturalist and broadcaster said the corporation 'does not prioritise' these shows because they do not attract a big enough audience. 'If you're a public service broadcaster, people of all kinds should be catered for,' he said. Sir David was speaking in an interview celebrating the ninety fifth year of Radio Times. He said that, as a public broadcaster, the BBC has 'a responsibility' to show programmes on a range of topics. 'I don't think the BBC does enough [arts and culture],' he told the magazine. 'It's not enough simply to say: "Well, it doesn't get a big enough audience." If you're a public service broadcaster, what you should be saying is: "We will show the broad spectrum of human interest."'Blue Planet II, which was narrated by Sir David, was the most watched TV programme of 2017, reaching 37.6 million viewers in the UK. The environmentalist has also written and presented such series as Planet Earth, Life In Cold Blood and Zoo Quest. In response to Sir David's comments, BBC Arts said that they would 'love to do even more' coverage. The veteran broadcaster also defended the BBC, saying that gaps in its arts and culture coverage were not entirely its fault. 'There are lots of gaps in the BBC's coverage now, and that's because they are harried and badgered by all sorts of people,' he said.
The BBC is marking the sixtieth anniversary of Blue Peter next month by digitising all its surviving episodes so that viewers can find their favourite moments to share online. The move is part of a celebration of the diamond jubilee of the world's longest-running children's programme, which will feature an hour-long live special starring many of Blue Peter's past presenters including Valerie Singleton and Peter Purves - who will take part in one 'uge mother of a 'here's one I made earlier' crafting extravaganza. During the birthday episode on 16 October, singer Ed Sheeran will be given a gold Blue Peter badge (why, we simply don't know), current presenter Radzi Chinyanganya will be winched above the aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth to see the crew lined-up to spell out the show's name at sea, while co-host Lindsey Russell will attempt a solo hot-air balloon flight in the Arctic Circle. In addition, a Blue Peter diamond jubilee time capsule will be sealed in the National Archives and BBC1's The ONE Show - which is hosted by former Blue Peter presenter Matt Baker - will take a look back at some of the programme's highlights. The special will be shown on CBBC and repeated on BBC2, meaning Blue Peter will briefly return to the main channels - it was moved from BBC1 to CBBC in 2012. Famous for its badges, pets and references to sticky-backed plastic, Blue Peter began in 1958. With its format of 'makes', bakes, competitions and presenter challenges, it became a staple of British children's lives. More than five thousand episodes have been broadcast, fronted by thirty seven presenters. Favourite moments obviously include Lulu the elephant running amok in the studio with the late John Noakes, Singleton and Purves in 1969 and Anthea Turner demonstrating how to make a version of a Thunderbirds Tracy Island toy. Despite rising competition from the likes of YouTube, the show continues to bring in young audiences. It received more than one hundred thousand messages or letters from viewers in 2017 compared with forty thousand in 2011, helped partly by the decision to move the programme from London to Salford seven years ago. Blue Peter's editor, Ewan Vinnicombe, said that all the former presenters - well, the ones that are still alive, anyway - were keen to be involved in the sixtieth birthday celebrations and explained how viewers would be able to share the vintage footage on social media: 'BBC Archive [has been] going through digitising every episode of Blue Peter there's ever been into the digital archive so we can then please all the different audiences for all the different clips they want.' Russell said that she thought the secret to the show's success was that it had 'moved with the times' and harnessed technology. 'It's still got that same structure and definitely the same values; it's about the badge, about being brave, going outside your comfort zone, going for it and believing in yourself and taking on an adventure – all of that's still there,' she said. However, it had also evolved, Russell added: 'We play a game during the show which, is "spot Shelley the tortoise," so if you can spot Shelley you jump on to the fan club online and say where she is hiding; then the winner gets a shout-out. It's about mixing those new things. So as long as you mix that in with the old - we're still doing makes, still doing bakes, got some live music, it is the show it always was but with those 2018 elements woven in.' Russell said the presenters' challenges were now bigger than ever and the show attracted a more diverse audience: 'I think it has broader appeal - we have cool music on the show. If you said what a Blue Peter fan is like, it's anyone and everyone from six to eighteen-year-olds. It's not the "safe" show it used to be [but] it's the still the same kind of framework.' Chinyanganya said: 'Blue Peter, over the last sixty years, has been about core values and ambition and as long as those key things are there - we're trying to be the best versions of ourselves - then I don't see why that will not continue, in spite of the other distractions that are there.'
The famous photograph in which it was revealed that Joanna Lumley was to play a starring role in The New Avengers was actually an example of sexist 'upskirting', the actress has claimed. Although the character Purdey was her breakthrough role and she was able to choose her hairstyle and some of her clothes, Lumley said that she faced 'misogynistic attitudes' while fighting to make the character 'more progressive.' Lumley revealed that she wanted Purdey in the 1976 television series to portray 'a more feminist image' and thought she should be in tights and flat shoes instead of stockings and high heels. Against the wishes of producers and the press, Lumley wore tights to the photoshoot to announce her part in the show - but was told the event would not be covered unless she quickly changed into stockings. Lumley described a scene she thought of as indicative of the attitudes towards women at the time, telling the BBC's Andrew Marr Show: 'When we launched it and were about to say "ladies and gentlemen, the new Avenger girl will be Joanna Lumley" it was outside the Dorchester and we'd got a great big Rolls Royce, they'd got all the accoutrements, an umbrella, they'd got a bowler hat, they'd got all the things that looked a bit Avenger-ish and they said "Joanna if you could just come up in the Rolls Royce and hoik up your skirt and show us your stockings" and I said "but I'm wearing tights!" There was a dull roar from the press gang and they said "if you're not wearing stockings we won't cover the occasion and we won't take any pictures."' She then claimed that she had to run into the Dorchester and 'ripped the stockings off' an 'oldish woman' in exchange for a five pound note. However, because the lady was significantly shorter than Lumley, the stockings only came up to just above her knees - and they weren't a pair. Lumley explained: 'So, one had a huge thing at the top, one had a little thing and they only came up to just above my knees, I stood there and they said "put a gun in your stocking," I put a gun there. They would only take a picture of me - talk about upskirting - if I had stockings on and a gun in my stocking.' However, she added that she 'loved' playing the role, especially the combat scenes in which she relished being able to practice her kick.
PJ Harvey to write score for a West End play starring From The North favourite Gillian Anderson. The singer-songwriter has confirmed on her website that she will score director Ivo Van Hove's stage adaptation of All About Eve at London's Noël Coward Theatre next year. The play will star Gillian and Lily James and runs from 2 February until 11 May. It was made into an Oscar-winning film in 1950, starring Bette Davis as Margo Channing, a fading Broadway star. Tickets for the run go on sale on Friday.
Ofcom - a politically-appointed quango, elected by no one - is to launch an inquiry into Z-List Celebrity Big Brother after it received more than twenty five thousand whinges about Roxanne Pallett's allegation that she was 'physically abused' by Ryan Thomas. The watchdog confirmed that it was 'investigating whether this programme broke our rules on offensive content.' Pallett left the Z-List Celebrity Big Brother house on 1 September in a reet stroppy huff after claiming that she was 'punched' by Thomas. She later snivellingly apologised to Thomas, saying that she had 'overreacted' to 'a playful act.' Thomas received a formal warning from the producers after appearing to use his fist to make contact with Pallett's body. The former Coronation Street actor went on to win the final edition of the sick Victorian freak-show. Channel Five confirmed earlier this month the show's most recent series would be its last and that Big Brother would also end when the current series has finished. Ofcom said it had received twenty one thousand five hundred whinges about the initial incident, which was broadcast at the end of August. It said that it had also received an additional three thousand seven hundred and forty seven whinges afterwards. Pallett quit her job on York-based radio station Minster FM after facing a huge public backlash over her behaviour. The former Emmerdale actress - and shameless self-publicist - also pulled out of playing Cinderella in pantomime in Chesterfield. For which, one trusts, the people of Chesterfield will be so happy, they'll be straightening their crooked church spire in celebration. Ofcom has also launched an investigation into Loose Women over Kim Woodburn's appearance on the ITV show on 29 August. The watchdog said that it had received seven thousand nine hundred whinges after Woodburn was seen rowing with panellist Coleen Nolan before flouncing off the set in tears. Woodburn, best known for presenting How Clean Is Your House? - and, for pretty much nothing else - and Nolan 'fell out' when they both appeared on Z-List Celebrity Big Brother last year. As if anyone with half a brain in their head actually gives a stuff about such rank, arrant nonsense. Ofcom's spokeswoman said that it was investigating whether the programme 'fell short of generally accepted standards.'
If you're the kind of soft-headed glake that thinks Christmas can't come soon enough then you're in luck. A dedicated Christmas movie channel has started broadcasting - in the last week of September - and it's going to show nothing but festive films from now until January. Truly, dear b log reader, there is no God. The channel is called True Christmas and it takes over the channel True Movies. If you've got Sky you'll want to know where it is so you can avoid it - Channel 321 - and for Freeview users can find avoided by simply not going to Channel 62.
Six Coronation Street actors and the former-boxer Big Frank Bruno are among the latest z-list celebrities to settle phone-hacking claims with News Group Newspapers. Sixteen cases were heard at London's High Court, including Kym Marsh - who plays Michelle Connor in the ITV soap - and Jimmi Harkishin, who plays Dev. The comedians Les Dennis and Bob Mortimer also received payouts. NGN paid 'substantial damages' to sixteen claimants and snivellingly apologised for hacking at the disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World. The firm - formerly called News International - made no admissions in respect of alleged hacking at the Sun. One or two people even believed them. NGN has settled more than one thousand claims since the phone-hacking scandal began to emerge in 2005. Other Coronation Street actors to receive payouts included Kate Ford, known for her role as Tracy Barlow and Samia Ghadie, who plays Maria Connor. Alan Halsall, who plays Tyrone Dobbs in the soap and his ex-wife Lucy-Jo Hudson, who played Katy Harris from 2002 to 2005, also settled their claims. The former world heavyweight champion Bruno claimed that no-one believed he had been hacked. 'For years I said I was being hacked, but people just said, "Poor old Frank he's really lost it this time,"' he said. 'No amount of money will never pay for the stress this caused, the sleepless nights and the countless rows I had with people who I thought had leaked stories to the press. The people who did this are the lowest of the low. Gutter press is a good description.' He added: 'My mum used to say that we need to forgive those who have wronged us and, despite what I have been through, I will try and put this horrible episode behind me.' The other cases to be settled included Carole Caplin, the ex-style adviser to Cherie Blair, Sam Preston, ex-singer of band The Ordinary Boys, the model Nancy Moir, wife of the comedian Vic Reeves and Rupert Lowe, the ex-chairman of Southampton Football Club. Lawyer Claire Greaney of Charles Russell Speechlys, which represented some of the claimants, added: 'Everyone has the right to privacy and confidentiality. Violating that right was simply unacceptable. While our clients have a public profile, their private life is just that - private - and should be respected as such.' Each of the claimants settled their cases and received damages - estimated to be, like, totally wads of wonga - and asnivelling apology in open court for misuse of their private information. The Scum of the World was closed in shame and ignominy in 2011 after its owners, billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch's News International, admitted the scale of hacking that had been going on, dating back many years (after years of having denied doing any such thing).
It has been rumoured for many months and now it can, finally, be confirmed; in honour of its fiftieth anniversary, The Be-Atles' iconic self-titled 1968 LP (probably better known to you and me, dear blog readers, as The White Album) is getting a golden anniversary deluxe re-release. The box-set will be available from 9 November via Apple. The original double LP's thirty songs have been given a tasty remix and polish by Be-Atles archive overseer Giles Martin (the son of The Be-Atles' producer the late Sir George Martin) and engineer Sam Okell in both stereo and 5.1 surround audio. The super deluxe set also features twenty seven legendary acoustic demos recorded at George Harrison's palatial country gaff in Esher in May 1968 plus over fifty session over-takes, many of which have never before been released (at least, officially). The super deluxe edition arrives with seven - that's seven - discs in total, as well as a one hundred and sixty four-page book of rare photographs, a fold-out poster, reproductions of hand-written lyrics, articles by yer actual Sir Paul McCartney (MBE), Kevin Howlett and John Harris. The deluxe edition includes the Esher Demos, a limited edition four-LP vinyl box set, a twenty four-page booklet. A standard double LP vinyl edition will also be available. The White Album has always been been the deepest mystery in The Be-Atles career - their wildest, strangest, most experimental and, often, most brilliant work. 'Before the Leicester group Family issued their innovative debut album Music In A Doll's House in August 1968, The Beatles had been planning to call their new work A Doll's House (supposedly after Ibsen),' wrote Ian MacDonald in his acclaimed critique of the The Be-Atles' output, Revolution In The Head. 'The clash was unfortunate since this was an apt title for this musical attic of odds and ends, some charming, others sinister, many tinged with childhood memories, all absorbed in the interior worlds of their authors. There is a secret unease in this music, betraying the turmoil beneath the group's business-as-usual façade. Shadows lengthen over the album as it progresses: the slow afternoon of The Beatles' career.' But, as it turns out, The White Album is even weirder than anyone realised. 'They were a band on fire,' says Martin. 'It's double or triple Sgt Pepper - the four walls of this studio couldn't hold them anymore.' Part of The White Album's mystique is all of the drama that went into it - the arguments and bad vibes during the five months it took to make the double LP are the stuff of legend. So, all the humour, excitement and camaraderie on display in the new set may come as something of a shock. Case in point: a previously unknown version of 'Good Night' where John, Paul, George and Ringo all harmonise over Lennon's folk guitar - like several of the songs on the LP, influenced by their friend Donovan teaching John, Paul and George how to finger-pick during their trip to India to hang out at Sexy Sadie's Ashram in early 1968. As Martin admits, 'You listen to them sing together and ask, "This is The White Album?' The release follows in the wake of last year's acclaimed four-CD anniversary edition of Sgt Pepper. But this is an even deeper dive into the archives, since the LP covers so much ground. In May 1968, just back from India, the group gathered at George's bungalow in Esher to tape unplugged versions of many of the new songs they had stockpiled. Over the next two days, working either together or solo, they busked through twenty seven songs. The tapes then sat in a suitcase in George's house for years. Seven of the songs came out on Anthology 3; others have appeared on bootleg but have never been officially released in any Be-Atle version, including John's 'Child of Nature' (later rewritten as 'Jealous Guy') and George's 'Sour Milk Sea' and 'Circles'. The Esher tapes alone make this collection essential, with a fresh homemade intimacy that is unique. Martin says: 'They're rough takes, but spiritually, the performances stand on their own.' With their batteries recharged from their Indian retreat, all four Be-Atles were hitting new peaks as songwriters - even Ringo, who contributed 'Don't Pass Me By'. They couldn't wait to get back into the studio. They had no idea how much trauma they were in for. Coming back from India with more songs than they knew what to do with, The Be-Atles hit upon a smart idea for the first LP on their own, recently formed, Apple label. Make it a double and include everything. So, from 30 May to 17 October 1968, they virtually lived in the studio. And, Yoko Ono lived there with them. Geoff Emerick - their engineer since Revolver - quit because the atmosphere got so bad. George Martin was frequently bored and sometimes left sessions in the hands of his young assistant, Chris Thomas. A depressed Ringo quit the band and departed to Sardinia for a fortnight and the band carried on without him (Paul plays drums on 'Back in the USSR' and 'Dear Prudence'). A deeply cheesed-off George Harrison managed to place four of his songs on the LP but tried over one hundred takes to get fifth - 'Not Guilty' - to work, felt it still wasn't right and buggered-off to Greece in a temper to cool his jets. Yet, amid all this malarkey and bitching, The Be-Atles, almost despite themselves, were busy creating a masterpiece. A massively flawed, hugely self-indulgent and bitterly personal masterpiece, admittedly. One that includes 'Rocky Raccoon.' And 'Wild Honey Pie.' This blogger mentioned flawed, yes? But, really, that's all incidental. Where The Be-Atles is good, it's brilliant and where it's bad, it's still fascinating. This is the Beatles LP that one would take to a hypothetical desert island because of the variety and the strangeness of the moods it creates - alternatively bright and yet also often sinister and shadowy. What McCartney's biographer Barry Miles described as the LP's 'sprawling chaos.' Thirty four songs were recorded, thirty made the record ('Not Guilty' and 'What's The New Mary Jane?' missed out and remained unreleased for nearly thirty years, 'Hey Jude'/'Revolution' became the biggest selling Be-Atles single of all time). Many of them could have done with some further group input but, by this stage, they were acting virtually as each other's session-men, if that. A fact evidenced by Paul recording 'Why Don't We Do It In The Road?' (a song John admired greatly) without bothering to ask for John's help despite the fact that he was just down the corridor in Abbey Road mixing 'Revolution 9'. Although, interestingly, Ringo in particular has stressed in several interviews how he actually prefers The White Album to Sgt Pepper because there was more direct band activity involved in its creation. For example, the session which produced 'I Will' (a really simple song) went on all night although, even here, The Be-Atles could throw off a little gem like the medley of McCartney's 'Step Inside Love' and the make-it-up-as-we-go-along 'Los Paranoias' between takes. The finished set features 'Dear Prudence', 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps', 'Happiness is a Warm Gun', 'I'm So Tired', 'Blackbird', 'Julia', 'Sexy Sadie', 'Helter Skelter', 'Long, Long, Long' (this blogger's favourite ever Be-Atles song as it happens) and, yes, 'Revolution 9'. The new edition has versions of other songs from the same period: 'Hey Jude', 'Lady Madonna', 'The Inner Light' and 'Across the Universe'. They also include rehearsal takes of oldies like 'Blue Moon' and 'You're So Square (Baby I Don't Care)'. It shows what should have been evident all along from the original record - they sound like a true band. It is a strange, baffling, challenging work. It's often wonderful. Would it have been better as a single LP as George Martin reportedly wanted? Who cares, frankly, it wasn't that. History will judge what we got instead. This author is with Sir Macca all the way on that score: 'It was the bloody Beatles White Album! Shut up!'
And now, dear blog reader, the non-TV Comedy Moment Of The Week.
Watching the County Championship game between Surrey and Essex at The Oval on Sky Sports Cricket on Monday, this blogger noted that Mark Butcher and Nick Knight were discussing potential bowling changes. 'I think a change is going to come,' said Butch. And, indeed, it did when Essex's Sam Cook came on at the Vauxhall End. Obviously.
England have called up uncapped Surrey opener Rory Burns to the test squad to face Sri Lanka this winter - the first tour since Alastair Cook's retirement. Burns captained Surrey to the County Championship title this year and is the leading scorer in Division One, with thirteen hundred and nineteen runs at an average of sixty nine. Kent batsman Joe Denly and Warwickshire fast bowler Olly Stone are also named in the squad for the first time. England face Sri Lanka in three Tests in November. Denly previous played nine one-day internationals and five Twenty20 matches for England in 2009 and 2010. He has hit three centuries to help Kent win promotion from Division Two this season, scoring seven hundred and ninety eight runs at thirty six and he provides England with an additional leg-spin option having taken twenty first class wickets this year. Stone was named in the one-day squad to tour Sri Lanka on Wednesday and has taken thirty seven wickets for Warwickshire in Division Two this season. Somerset left-arm spinner Jack Leach has been recalled for the first time since his test debut against New Zealand in March, with all-rounder Moeen Ali and leg-spinner Adil Rashid the other two specialist spinners in the sixteen-man squad. Lancashire opener Keaton Jennings retains his place, despite struggling during a summer in which he scored but one hundred and ninety two runs in six tests at an average of nineteen. Burns is likely to open alongside Jennings following the retirement of England's highest test run-scorer Cook, who scored a farewell century in the final Test of England's four-one series win over India earlier this month. Burns has hit four centuries and seven fifties in Division One this year and scored more than a thousand first class runs in each of the past five seasons. 'I'm really delighted,' he told BBC Radio London. 'There has been a bit of hearsay about me getting called up and I've had a lot of questions about it, so it was nice to get the call to put an end to that, stop worrying about it and just get on with my business. I've never been to Sri Lanka before so that'll be something new and I'm looking forward to getting going.' Denly has batted at three for Kent this season but has previously opened and national selector Ed Smith said that he was 'another option' to bat at the top of the order should Jennings' shocking run of form continue. 'It took Joe a while to develop into the player that people saw he could become and he's now really matured into a calm, classy, assured cricketer,' said Smith. Surrey middle-order batsman Ollie Pope is selected after making his first two test appearances against India this summer. England's two leading wicket-takers, Lancashire's James Anderson and Stuart Broad of Nottinghamshire, are also included, with all-rounders Sam Curran, Ben Stokes and Chris Woakes providing the other seam options. England play five one-day internationals and a Twenty20 match before the three-test series against Sri Lanka.
An investigation into a claim that Moeen Ali was called 'Osama' by an Australia player during the 2015 Ashes has been closed. Cricket Australia claimed that 'no new evidence' had been presented. The governing body launched an investigation after Moeen wrote about the incident in his autobiography. 'We have followed up with the England and Wales Cricket Board and confirmed the incident was investigated at the time,' CA said. 'A response was provided to Moeen. Moeen elected not to progress the matter any further at the time and we have not been able to ascertain any new additional evidence through our enquiries. As such, the matter is considered closed. We take a zero-tolerance approach to remarks of this nature, they have no place in our sport, or in society and any allegations raised with us are treated seriously and respectfully.' Moeen said that the comment was made in the first test of the 2015 series, which England won three-two to regain the Ashes. In an extract of his book published in The Times, Moeen said: 'An Australian player had turned to me on the field and said, "Take that, Osama." I could not believe what I had heard. I remember going really red. I have never been so angry on a cricket field.' The alleged slur appears to be a reference to the Islamist terrorist Osama Bin Laden. Moeen said that he told 'a couple' of team-mates about the incident and believed that England's coach, Trevor Bayliss, had raised the matter with then Australia counterpart Darren Lehmann.
West Hamsters United are reported - by the Gruniad Morning Star if not anything more reliable - to have complained to TalkSport about criticism from broadcaster and former midfield skinhead clogger Danny Murphy regarding their handling of contract negotiations with Declan Rice after learning that Rice's agent has also represented Murphy. Ooh, 'potential conflict of interest' and all that malarkey. Big fight, little people. Murphy argued that it was 'ridiculous' that The Hamsters were yet to reward Rice's impressive performances with a new contract when he appeared on squawking Scottish thing Jim White's TalkSport show on Monday and warned that the club 'risked losing their brightest young talent' if the matter were not resolved soon. The nineteen-year-old has entered the final two years of his deal and rejected an offer worth around fifteen grand a week in the summer. Yet West Hamsters, who are thought to be 'confident' that Rice's contract contains an option that will allow them to extend it until 2021, are determined not to be pushed around and believe that Murphy should have declared his own connection with Neil Fewings, who landed Rice as a client this year. 'I'm amazed West Ham haven't got him a new contract sorted,' Murphy said. 'Why haven't they sorted it? This lad hasn't just come into the first team, he's been around since last season. This is typical of lots of clubs who forget to reward young lads when they're doing really well - and I don't mean stupid money, I don't agree with young lads who aren't in the first team earning twenty thousand pounds a week. But, he is on a very low contract, playing at the top level, dealing with some top players and looking very, very accomplished. All of a sudden he's only got next season on his contract and what, West Ham think the big clubs aren't watching him now? I'm amazed at West Ham, it's ridiculous for a lad of this talent. It shouldn't have got to this. You can't let this happen.' Rice has received rave reviews since breaking into West Hamsters' first team last season and excelled as a defensive midfielder in the draw with Moscow Chelski FC at The London Stadium last Sunday. Yet his relationship with the club has grown complicated since signing with Fewings, a prominent figure at Wasserman Media Group, one of the world's top agencies. Rice, who is comfortable at centre-back or in midfield, receives three thousand knicker a week and it is understood that his representatives are asking West Hamsters to offer a basic wage of thirty thousand quid a week. However, West Hamsters are 'believed to be wary of giving the teenager too much too young,' after thirty six first-team appearances, the Gruniad claim. They do not want to harm his progress and believe that a contract worth fifteen thousand snots per week plus 'lucrative appearance bonuses' is 'a more realistic figure.'
Germany has beaten Turkey to host Euro 2024 after a vote by UEFA's executive committee on Thursday. The two countries made final bid presentations before voting took place in Nyon, Switzerland. The decision means Germany will stage the European Championship for the first time as a unified country, with West Germany having hosted the 1988 tournament. Turkey is yet to host a major international football tournament. It has seen previous attempts to host the Euros in 2008, 2012 and 2016 fail, as well as the 2020 Summer Olympics. Euro 2024 will return to a single-host format after Euro 2020 is held across Europe, including Germany. Before announcing the winner, UEFA president Aleksander Ceferin said that Germany and Turkey had made 'very strong bids.' And that they were both winners. Although Germany was the actual winner. After announcing the winner, he added: 'The procedure was transparent. The voting was democratic. Every democratic decision is the right decision so I can only say I am looking forward to seeing a fantastic Euro in 2024.' Euro 2024 will feature twenty four teams, taking place in June and July, with fifty one games scheduled for up to thirty two days. Berlin will stage the final, while matches will also take place in Cologne, Dortmund, Dusseldorf, Frankfurt, Gelsenkirchen, Hamburg, Leipzig, Munich and Stuttgart.
A video of Colorado's football mascot accidentally shooting himself in the groin with a T-shirt cannon has - unsurprisingly - gone viral. And, in other news, it seems that bears do, indeed, shit in the woods. Thousands of fans watched - in amusement - from the stands as Chip The Buffalo doubled over clutching his furry groin after the incident. He was trying to launch a T-shirt into the excited crowds but, clearly, didn't notice that he was holding the gun the wrong way around. One imagines that made his eyes water. Medics were called onto the pitch and he was carried away 'for a check-up.' Thankfully, Chip posted later on Twitter letting fans know that there was no lasting damage done.
Blunderland have extremely terminated alleged midfielder Didier Ndong's contract after he failed to return to the club this summer. The Gabon international joined the League One side for over thirteen and a half million smackers in 2016 but has not played for The Mackem Filth since January. The Black Cats agreed a fee - reported to be £6.6m - with Italian club Torino in June, with Blunderland pursuing Ndong legally for their financial losses. He was contracted with the club until 2021 but he has not reported for training since the start of pre-season in July. 'No reason was given for his failure to report and continued absence,' said a club statement. 'Sunderland AFC retain the right to pursue the player and any club he may subsequently join in relation to compensation for the value of the player.' Papy Djilobodji - who cost Blunderland eight million knicker in 2016 - also had his contract very terminated on 12 September after returning to training late and then 'comprehensively' failing a fitness test.
A passenger aircraft has come down in a lagoon off Chuuk International Airport in Micronesia after it missed the runway, airport officials say. The Air Niugini plane from Papua New Guinea was seen sitting in shallow water just off the coast. Locals responded by approaching the plane in small vessels to help rescue the thirty six passengers and eleven crew. A hospital official told Reuters that four passengers were 'in a serious condition' after the crash. The aircraft was flying from the island of Pohnpei in Micronesia to Port Moresby, the capital of Papua New Guinea, stopping at Micronesia's Weno island on the way. Air Niugini said its Boeing 737-800 had 'landed short of the runway' amid 'reduced visibility' due to rain and poor weather. An investigation is due to begin, airport officials said. Passenger Bill Jaynes told reporters that the incident had been 'surreal. I thought we landed hard until I looked over and saw a hole in the side of the plane and water was coming in. I thought, well, this is not like the way it's supposed to happen,' he added.
Pope Frankie told a crowd of young people in the Estonian capital Tallinn on Tuesday that he 'understood' many of them were 'upset' by the sexual abuse scandals currently rocking the Catholic Church and that the institution had 'lost credibility' as a result. It was the Pope's first reference to the sex abuse crisis since arriving in the Baltic region on Saturday and came on the same day as bishops in Germany released a damning report into abuse by Catholic priests in the country over the past seven decades. 'We know - and you have told us - that many young people do not turn to us for anything because they don't feel we have anything meaningful to say to them,' the Pope said in Tallinn on the final day of his four-day Baltic tour. 'In fact, some of them expressly ask us to leave them alone, because they feel the Church's presence as bothersome or even irritating. They are upset by sexual and economic scandals that do not meet with clear condemnation by our unpreparedness to really appreciate the lives and sensibilities of the young.'
The Royal Mail has 'urged' environmental campaigners to stop posting crisp packets without envelopes in protest at non-recyclable bags. Walkers have reportedly been 'flooded' with empty packets which have been sent with their freepost address simply placed directly on them. Campaigners had asked people to post the bag and 'flood Walkers social media with pictures of us popping them in the post.' However, Royal Mail has now stepped in as post without envelopes have to be sorted by hand rather than machine - causing delays. A spokesperson said: 'We strongly encourage customers not to post anything into the postal system which is not properly packaged. Crisp packets can't go through the machines, they are not normal mail items therefore my hardworking colleagues need to manually sort them, which adds to time.' A Walkers spokesperson said: 'We recognise the efforts being made to bring the issue of packaging waste to our attention. The returned packets will be used in our research, as we work towards our commitment of improving the recyclability of our packaging.' Royal Mail said it had handled about thirty crisp packets so far. So, not so much a 'flood', more a dribble. Walkers has pledged to make all its packaging one hundred per cent recyclable, compostable or biodegradable by 2025.
A BBC presenter has reportedly received death threats meant for a rapper with the same name who released a music video calling for white babies to be killed. One social media user sent a message to BBC Radio Norfolk breakfast show host Nick Conrad saying: 'You're going to die.'YouTube has since suspended the music video after it was condemned by anti-racism groups. Conrad has reported the threats made to him to the police. The French rapper's video, called 'Hang White People', called for white babies to be killed and their parents hanged. The Paris prosecutor has launched an inquiry, according to French broadcaster BFMTV. The BBC's Conrad - who definitely does not want to see any babies killed, white or otherwise - said that he first became aware of the messages on Wednesday evening. 'I just saw all these messages popping up on my phone in French,' he said. 'A French friend rang me and said have you seen all these comments online? I'd never heard of him before.' One individual who posted a threatening message to the BBC presenter telling him he was going to die, later apologised for his mistake. So, that's all right, then. However, Conrad said that 'keyboard warriors' should 'think twice' before sending out such threats.
A passenger flying for the first time reportedly'sparked panic' on a flight in India when he tried to open the rear exit of the plane, mistaking it for the door to the lavatory. And, when he did that, he wasn't the only one who suddenly and desperately needed a dump. A police spokesman said that the man in his late twenties was seen by fellow passengers and when challenged he 'told them he needed to use the washroom urgently and kept tugging at the exit door.' Cabin crew on the GoAir flight from Delhi to Patna were 'forced to wrestle the man away from the door,' according to Indian media reports and he was 'persuaded' to take a seat for the remainder of the flight before being handed over to airport security upon arrival. A spokesperson for GoAir told the Independent that the incident took place on Saturday evening. The plane landed safely. 'A passenger was trying to open the rear door of the aircraft while in the air,' the spokesperson said. 'A co-passenger raised the alarm and he was intercepted by the crew. Post arrival, the passenger was handed over to CISF for further investigation.' CISF, a branch of the Indian military which has been in charge of airport security since 2001, told the Times of India that the man had successfully unlocked the rear door but was unable to open it due to cabin pressure. That claim was contradicted by an airline source, who said that the doors cannot be unlocked when there is a big difference in pressure between the cabin and outside the plane. CISF escorted the man off the plane upon arrival at Patna and handed him over to local police, who questioned him about his motives. Sanowar Khan, the officer in charge of the local police, said that there was 'pandemonium' on the flight when the young man, a banker and first-time flier, started trying to open the door. Khan told the Torygraph: 'People asked him why he was [trying to open the door]. He told them that he needed to use the washroom urgently and kept tugging at the exit door. Pandemonium prevailed amid all this and he was restrained and finally handed over to us. He said that the confusion happened because he had boarded a flight for the first time in his life.'
A Swedish Interweb company broke gender discrimination rules by using a popular meme in an advertisement, the country's advertising regulator has ruled. Bahnhof posted a version of the 'distracted boyfriend' meme on Facebook, to advertise job vacancies. The image, which shows a man looking at a woman in a red dress while his girlfriend looks on in horror, has been widely parodied online. But the regulator said that the image was discriminatory to both men and women. The regulator, Reklamombudsmannen, said the image 'objectified women' by showing the man's 'appreciative reaction.' It was also 'sexually discriminatory' towards men by 'imparting a stereotype picture of men looking at women as being interchangeable.' In a statement, Bahnhof said: 'Anyone who supports both the Internet and meme-culture knows precisely how this meme is used and interpreted. We explained both the purpose of the image and meme-culture for the regulator but they have chosen to interpret the post in a different way.' The ruling has been largely ridiculed online by people who suggested the regulator had failed to correctly interpret the image.
Yer actual Kylie Minogue will be making platform announcements around the UK to mark BBC Music Day on Friday. The singer has recorded a series of messages encouraging commuters to share their love of music. 'Please let passengers sing and dance their way off the train first before trying to get on board,' says the singer in one of the announcements. 'I truly believe in the power of music to bring joy and lift the soul,' said the BBC Music Day ambassador. And, let's face it, if you're using the British rail system you're probably in need of a lift of your soul. 'Hopefully my little messages for train passengers will be a nice surprise and a reminder of the power of music,' added Kylie. The announcements will be heard at stations in Birmingham, Glasgow, Leeds, London, Manchester and Reading on Friday. So, if you're travelling by rail on Friday but you're not using any of those stations, that's just your tough luck, isn't it?
A British woman has been found to have a dead turtle inside her vagina. The ex-pat was taken to hospital in Tenerife, reportedly after 'experiencing severe abdominal pains.' Her doctors then made 'the shocking discovery.' It is unclear how, exactly, the turtle ended up inside the woman and she told doctors that she has 'no recollection' of it being put there. At least, that's her story and she's sticking to it. She claimed that she began experiencing pain two days after going out partying with friends. Police were called to the hospital by a doctor who was 'concerned' that the woman may have been the victim of a sexual assault, ABC News of the Canary Islands reported.
Two people are recovering from minor injuries after a large tent collapsed on them at an annual Sausage Fest in Richland, Washington. Organisers said that volunteers were getting ready to take the large, orange parachute down because of the wind when the pole cracked, sending the crowd scattering. Sausage Fest co-Chair David Fetto told Action News it that the injuries happened 'as folks ran for safety,' not from debris falling from the tent. 'I've already been brought to tears once about this,' he said. 'We're thankful. God blessed us when this thing fell that people were able to get out of the way because it could have been a lot worse.'
Kimberly Thompson, Beyoncé's former drummer, has reportedly filed for a civil harassment restraining order against Beyoncé, according to court records viewed by Pitchfork. Thompson alleges that Beyoncé is practicing 'extreme witchcraft' and 'magic spells of sexual molestation' to 'harass' her. Among other allegations, Thompson also claims that Beyoncé 'murdered my pet kitten.' And, looked at her in afunny way. Probably. Pitchfork claim that Thompson had a request for a temporary restraining order denied by Los Angeles Superior Court on 19 September. In an e-mail to Pitchfork, Thompson 'confirmed that accuracy of the documents.''All accusations I survived are real,' she wrote.
Convicted sex offender Bill Cosby allegedly claimed to have been 'hit in the face with a stale hotdog bun' and fell down stairs on his first day in prison, according to media reports - albeit, not from especially reliable sources. Radar Online (no, me neither) claims that an alleged - though anonymous and, therefore, almost certainly fictitious - Montgomery County courthouse 'source' allegedly overheard an alleged phone call allegedly made via speakerphone by Cosby to his wife, Camille, shortly after he was extremely sentenced to up to ten years in The Big House for sexual assault. 'He said he had a stale hotdog bun thrown at him and he fell down a few steps because he wasn't being guided,' the alleged 'source' allegedly told Radar Online. At eighty one years old and legally blind, Cosby is in the minority in the Pennsylvania prison population. The gossip website also claimed that Cosby told his wife, to 'grab the chequebook' and hire 'anyone and everyone' who could facilitate his early release from The Pokey. Andrew Wyatt, a publicist for the disgraced and disgraceful comedian, paints a rather different picture, however. He told TMZ that Cosby was being 'treated very well. He said, first off, people were "amazed" to meet him and see him, and they're just treating him very nicely,' Wyatt claimed in the interview. 'He said they're very respectful to him.' Following Cosby's sentencing hearing, Wyatt told the media that his client had been 'subjected to the most racist and sexist trial in the history of the United States.' Quite a few poor black men from America's inner cities disagreed with that assessment. 'They persecuted Jesus and look what happened,' Wyatt added, according to CNN. Err ... the miracle of the resurrection, followed by two thousand years of inter-faith war. '[I'm] not saying Mister Cosby is Jesus,' added Wyatt, hurriedly. Because, he really isn't. 'But we know what this country has done to black men for centuries.' Notorious former NFL star, actor and jailed felon OJ Simpson also weighed in on Cosby's incarceration, telling TMZ: 'I think they should've let him do his time under house arrest.' Simpson claimed that Cosby 'would need protective custody' during his sentence. 'The problem is the nature of the crime,' he said. 'Rapists are frowned upon in prison.' Simpson, who did not add whether he believed all convicted sex offenders should be allowed to serve their sentences at home or, just the famous ones, spent nine years behind bars after being extremely convicted of armed robbery and kidnapping, before being released last year.
One of London's oldest pie and mash shops is closing down after one hundred and twenty eight years 'because of vegans,' its fuming - and, not in slightest mental - manager has claimed. Mind you, this is according to the Metro so, you know, a healthy pinch of salt may be required with your chosen meal. AJ Goddard's Pie & Mash has been serving traditional pie, mash and liquor to the people of Deptford since Queen Victoria sat on the throne (presumably, after having a decent plateful, herself). But now, manager Simon Clarke says that he is going to have to shut up shop after years of dwindling revenues. Clarke has put the blame on 'gentrification' in the area and the trend of people 'becoming vegans.' Simon claimed that loyal regulars have been coming for more than fifty years and travel from as far as Wales for his shop's £3.50 pie and mash deal. But, his once booming trade has dwindled as the area underwent 'significant social change' since the turn of the century. Simon said: 'I don't know if it's the oldest but it's definitely one of the oldest. People that have moved in around here over the last few years are definitely into fad diets.'
A Pennsylvania man has been sentenced to one hundred years in The Big House for what authorities say was the largest collection of child pornography state law enforcement officials have seen. Lawrence Jamieson was sentenced on Monday in federal court after pleading extremely guilty in September 2017 to sex crimes and child pornography charges. With good behaviour he could be out if ninety nine years.
A man in Indiana was very jailed over the weekend after he was accused of reaching for his handgun to end a dispute with his longtime friends over a Bruno Mars song. Roger D Washburn is facing a charge of battery after the incident at his home in Greenwood. The investigation began when a man told officials from the Johnson County Sheriff's Office that he and another man were hanging out with Washburn. The man told police that they have all been friends for fifty years. The man said they were talking when an argument broke out over a song and its artist. The man said the song they were debating was sung by Bruno Mars, but Washburn said that it wasn't. And, that was when it all kicked off, big-style, seemingly. When the man showed Washburn proof that it was, indeed, a Bruno Mars song, the argument 'grew more intense.' He told police that they both stood up and continued to argue until Washburn pulled a gun on him. The man said that he responded to the brandished weapon by calling Washburn a 'chicken [expletive]' and Washburn swung the weapon at him, striking the man in the face and arm. Really hard. The gun went off when Washburn struck the man, he told police. The victim claimed that he took a swing at Washburn and missed and the gun then went off a second time. Fortunately, no one was shot during the incident but, dignity waved a little white flag and crawled off into a hole to die. When asked why no one called police, the man claimed that he and his other friend were 'shocked' over what happened. They eventually decided to tell the police a few hours after it happened. Police went to Washburn's home and he admitted to hitting his friend in the face with his revolver, according to a police report. He was taken to the Johnson County Jail on suspicion of battery and criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon. And, shockingly poor pop culture knowledge. Probably. The police report does not specify which Bruno Mars song was at the centre of the argument.
So, dear blog reader, Keith Telly Topping's Monday morning went like this: A long walk down Wharrier Street and through Walker Park to the doctors, then to Gregg's, the Pharmacy, the Post Office, Heron's supermarket, another long walk through Walker Park and along Brampton Avenue to Aldi, got bus to Byker, went to ASDA, had another long walk down Shields Road to the bank, had another long walk up Shields Road to McDonald's - for a much needed coffee - had another long walk (actually, by this time, a long limp) to the bus stop, and then had a shorter - but still rather painful - walk home. Which was ... bracing.
And finally, dear blog reader, sunset over Stately Telly Topping Manor. Pretty, isn't it?

Yer actual Jodie Whittaker's first episode of Doctor Who has received broadly positive reviews from critics ahead of its debut on BBC1 on Sunday. Jodie's own performance, those of her co-stars and the production values of The Woman Who Fell To Earth came in for particular praise. In his four-star review for the Sun, Rod McPhee said Jodie 'doesn't always strike the right balance between quirky geek and masterful Time Lord. And at times she comes across as irritatingly childlike. But the highest praise is that you quickly forget you're watching a female Doctor and just accept you're watching THE Doctor.'Writing in the i, Stephen Kelly complimented the show's production values. 'Never before has Doctor Who looked so crisp and cinematic, nor the CGI so convincing and expensive,' he wrote. 'As any fan that has ever tried to convert a sceptic knows, Doctor Who's relatively low budget can often prove a barrier. But not any more. This feels like the real deal.''As an episode of Doctor Who, The Woman Who Fell To Earth isn't perfect,' said Huw Fullerton in the Radio Times. 'A few of the jokes (mainly focused on Whittaker getting used to her new incarnation) and lines of dialogue fall a bit flat. And, on the whole, it's definitely a less witty and quotable version of Who than we might have seen during the years of former showrunner Steven Moffat.''Does this first episode get everything right, all of the time? No,' opined the Digital Spy website's Morgan Jeffrey. 'But it scores where it really counts, showing more than enough wit and flair to convince us that we're entering into a new era that'll be every bit as bold and, yes, brilliant as we'd hoped.' The Torygraph's Ben Lawrence said: '[Chris] Chibnall has cooled things down with some much-needed accessibility, but still something is missing. There is also a distinct lack of interest in the show's heritage. Although Whittaker's performance captured the essence of previous incarnations of her character, the overall effect of the show sometimes felt like a trip too far from the familiar.' Carol Midgley awarded the episode four stars in her review from The Times. 'The best compliment I can pay Whittaker after the first episode, her casting doesn't feel remotely radical. It feels normal,' she said. 'After ten minutes, you forget her sex was ever an issue. Whittaker brings energy, fizz and modernity to the role while looking baby-faced compared to her predecessor, Peter Capaldi, whom she describes in the show as a white-haired Scotsman.' Martin Belam in the Gruniad Morning Star said: 'The sheer number of new characters, alongside guest star Sharon D Clarke, necessarily means that the alien menace is more of a low-key device to bring the characters together and introduce them to us, than a world-ending threat. That's not to say that the creatures' appearance won't give children nightmares.'Empire suggested that The Woman Who Fell To Earth'looks beautiful in the show's new widescreen format. Indeed, everything Jodie Whittaker and new showrunner Chris Chibnall have been promising us about the ramped-up, cinematic style of the new season turns out to be true. Those new lenses really do make a difference in giving the show a more textured, epic feel, matched by new composer Segun Akinola's atmospheric score.''It will have kids diving behind the sofa as fast as you can say "that's what I did in 1976"' added the Daily Mirra's Nicola Methven.
Appearing on last Friday night's episode of The Graham Norton Show, Jodie revealed what the people of her West Yorkshire village of Skelmanthorpe call one another. 'I'm allowed to say this now because this goes out past when kids have gone to bed?' she said. 'The name for me would be, "Oh are you a Shat lass?" And there's Shat taxi, Shat pizza, Shat everything! Skelmanthorpe is really long! I really don't remember the specifics, but this is the vague story,' she admitted. 'I think, in the olden days, there was a quarry. The local trade was people smashing slate. So, they were shatterers! If you were from the village, and you worked there, you were a shatterer. Now, however many years later, you're from Shat!'
As well as revealing her surprising reaction to finding out that she had got the job, Jodie also told Graham that she finds the conversation about the Doctor's gender, quite frankly, 'ridiculous.' Jodie admitted she feels 'joy, fear and responsibility to the fans' to make her Doctor's era a magical one. She was not so generous when it comes to critics of her gender, though. 'It is ridiculous that it is such a big deal in 2018,' she noted. 'But, it is an exciting moment and I can always say I was the first!'
On the same subject, speaking on BBC Breakfast on Tuesday, Jodie added: 'In arguing about whether I'm qualified or not, that's a redundant question for me. It's an alien with two hearts so no, I'm not qualified. The Doctor is a character and in such a strange way it's got so much attention, but my gender plays less of a role characterisation in this than any other role, like a mother to a son who's been murdered on a beach [in Broadchurch]. I'm not walking around going, "I'm a girl, I'm a girl," I don't think about it like that. My gender didn't play a role in that and in this, I am playing The Doctor. My energy is different. Peter [Capaldi's] was different to Matt [Smith's], Matt's was different to David [Tennant's], David's was different to Chris [Eccleston's]. The point is we all bring something to it and it should be different. Otherwise why else have a role that is regenerated?'
The BBC have released the first full clip from the upcoming series of Doctor Who ... four months after the same clip was illegally - albeit briefly - leaked online by some naughty individual indulging in nefarious skulduggery. Meanwhile, this week's Radio Times features Jodie. It's her second cover as The Doctor, Jodie also featured on the 21 July edition. In the issue, Jodie talks about how nervous she was about playing one of the most intelligent characters on TV and her hopes that the debate on casting women in traditionally male roles will soon be redundant. 'I truly hope that in a couple of years casting a woman in a traditionally male role won't be so exciting - because when it's not celebrated, it will mean it's no longer unusual to have this sort of parity. I'm always asked, "Do you think James Bond should now be a woman?" But that's not the conversation. It's really, "Should every point of view be the same?" And the answer is no. Stories shouldn't always be told from the same perspective. It's a mistake to think that the only heroes are white men.' Jodie also revealed that the - really dull and tedious - rock and/or roll band Coldplay helped inspire her costume. We must, therefore, assume that if it's based on anything worn by That Bloody Chris Martin, then it's most likely made, as indeed is Martin himself, entirely of hummus.
From The North's award for the most shitty click-bait headline of the week goes to the Daily Scum Express for Spare us the "psycho lesbian" cliche stories say feminists in a story related to Killing Eve. Based, seemingly, on oneTwitter whinge by someone of no consequence whom the article doesn't even name. 'But the "psycho lesbian" plotline of last night's episode of the BBC show, which saw killer Villanelle in a passionate clinch with a woman, was a step too far for some viewers,' alleged the Scum Express. They also quote 'journalist and feminist campaigner' Julie Bindel who 'said it was an example of lesbian characters depicted as "coldblooded killers, weirdos ... and oversexed maniacs." But, she added: "Full disclosure: I love the BBC drama Killing Eve."' Sometimes, dear blog reader, aren't you beyond glad that you live in a world where the Daily Scum Express exists? For a slightly less agenda-soaked click-bait bollocks review of the third episode, dear blog reader, check out this very good piece by Steve Charnock on the the Dead Good website.
Bodyguard, of course, ended on a massive twist last weekend when it was revealed that the seemingly innocent Nadia (superbly played by Anjli Mohindra) was actually in on the plot to murder the Home Secretary all along. The reveal at the end of episode six took many viewers - this blogger very much among 'em - by surprise, as Nadia proudly confessed to creating the bomb which killed extremely Julia Montague (Keeley Hawes) whilst in cahoots with crime boss Luke Aitkens and corrupt senior police officer Lorraine Craddock. While there may be some scope to explore her character more in a potential second series, Mohindra has admitted that she probably won't be back. 'I would return if I was asked, but I don't feel Nadia has any more of a journey to explore,' she told the Radio Times. 'If I was asked I would hope there would be an exploration of how Nadia came to be so intent on her very heartless mission - what happened to her to become who she is.' Whilst she may not be back in Bodyguard, Mohindra admitted that she would 'love' to get herself involved in creator Jed Mercurio's other hit series, Line Of Duty. 'I would consider it, actually,' she said. 'I'm a huge fan of Line Of Duty, ever since I saw the first episode in 2012. I would very much like the opportunity, if it came about. I think Jed has expressed interest in a potential collaboration of that sort. I think a real solid opportunity is yet to come. Fingers crossed.'
With a Bodyguard-shaped void in BBC1's Sunday night schedules, The Cry had rather big shoes to fill. Yer actual Jenna Coleman stars in the 'chilling, plot-twisting drama' about a new mother, whose world collapses after the disappearance of her baby. Repeating the success of the Jed Mercurio drama which got the nation all discombobulated was always going to be a tall order, but with an overnight audience of 5.7 million for its opening episode, The Cry hasn't fallen too far short of Bodyguard's 6.7 million figure for its first episode. So what did the critics make of the BBC's latest offering? Many praised the drama for its unflinching, unromanticised look at new motherhood. The Gruniad Morning Star's Lucy Mangan, giving the drama four stars, wrote: 'All the post-partum pain points are hit: the claustrophobic desperation caused by a screaming baby; the supportive partner who nevertheless manages to sleep through all of the worst bits; the best but child-free friend with whom you suddenly have nothing in common ... it's all beautifully, brutally done.' Carol Midgley, writing in The Times, also gave the thriller four stars and called it 'a very stressful watch - but Jenna Coleman is superb and this drama is exquisitely done. Subtle, nuanced, a psychological thriller that built suspense while tapping in to the worst parental nightmare.' The programme skilfully casts suspicion on to all of its main characters - the new mum suffering from postnatal depression, Joanna (Coleman), with her mid-flight outburst and mysterious medicinal tonics; father Alistair (Ewen Leslie) - a smug and patronising, earplug-wearing government spin doctor, who likes to 'get away' with things; the resentful and embattled ex, Alexandra (Asher Keddie), fighting her own demons with alcoholism and a pricey custody battle - and then there's Alistair and Alexandra's teenage daughter, Chloe, who doesn't want to live in Scotland and has been hitting her teachers. As Mangan wrote, 'the first of many seeds of ambiguity [are] sown.' Following the disappearance of baby Noah, Midgley says that future episodes hold the promise of taking the plot into the interesting territory of the media circus, surrounding the parents of missing children: 'There were terrible echoes of Madeleine McCann's disappearance: the laser-like judgement of the agonised parents, the scrutiny of Kate McCann's face and mothering skills.' Louisa Mellor at the Den of Geek website, wrote that the child-abduction aspect of the thriller 'doesn't feel like the main point. Moreover, it's an exploration of taboos that questions the expectations placed on new mothers, a challenge to inequalities in the division of childcare that so often pass unchallenged, and a prompt to think about the many ways in which women are forced to stand trial without even coming near a courthouse.' Some critics, however, were less keen on the show's timeline - riddled with more flash-forwards and flashbacks than Coleman likely encountered in her Doctor Who days. Eleanor Bley Griffiths, writing in the Radio Times, called it 'infuriatingly disjointed. It jolts you out of the drama and makes it really hard to connect with the characters, because every time we are finally getting into a scene we are suddenly taken on a trip across time and space.' Similarly some people that you've never heard of on Twitter whinged about the 'fragmented nature' of the drama. Albeit, nobody actually gives a shit about what anyone on Twitter thinks. About anything. The Independent's Alexandra Pollard also gave four stars to the three-parter, and wrote: 'The abduction - told through a flashback/forward structure that is sometimes effective, sometimes confusing - is compelling enough fare.' But the standout for her is Coleman's performance: 'She is brilliant as a woman quietly unravelling, disassociating, begging her bawling baby to 'please stop, please stop'. It is thanks to her that The Cry is such bruising, engaging viewing.'
BBC drama has been on a strong run recently with Bodyguard and Killing Eve keeping millions gripped, but there's another exciting series on the way. The Little Drummer Girl comes to BBC1 next month as the latest adaptation of a John Le Carré novel. It will also be shown on AMC in the US. Starring Florence Pugh and Alexander Skarsgård, it tells the story of 'an eccentric English actor who converts into an Israeli spy.' Skarsgård has revealed more detail via a new interview with the Torygraph, in which he expands on his character - a Mossad agent called Becker who becomes romantically entangled with Charlie (Pugh). 'That sense of duty and guilt at the same time, that dichotomy created an inner conflict that I found really interesting,' he said. Wanting to do something but feeling helpless was core to finding out who he was.' Skarsgård's father, Stellan, once appeared in another Le Carré adaptation, 2016's My Kind Of Traitor and that shared experience helped him become 'familiar with this cinematic universe.' According to Skarsgård, the 'best experience of the whole project' was shooting a scene at Ancient Greek temple the Acropolis - you know, where the Parthenon is - by night. 'It was just extraordinary,' he said. 'You could tell that for everyone this would be one of the most memorable nights of their life.' Viewers were given their first look at the upcoming BBC drama in July with the Park Chan-Wook-directed thriller also starring Michael Moshonov, Charif Ghattas, Amir Khoury, Katharina Schüttler, Simona Brown and Max Irons.
From The North's regular award for the TV Comedy Line Of The Week, as usual, goes to this blogger's beloved Qi. Sandi Toksvig revealed that in France after pregnant women have given birth the government subsidises rééducation périnéale, which is perineal re-education, physiotherapy that is designed to help strengthen the new mother's pelvic floor. Part of the course, Sandi continued, involved using what is described as an 'electronic vaginal re-educator' ... which can be 'hooked up' to video games, as the journalist Claire Lundberg explained in her 2012 Slate essay, The French Government Wants To Tone My Vagina. 'I don't think that's a game I want to play in front of my mother,' Sandi added before she and From The North favourite Sara Pascoe began a discussion on what sort of video games would be appropriate in such circumstances. Whilst all this was going on you could, literally, see Alan Davies's mind working overtime as he searched for a suitable pun. And, then, with a triumphant smirk, he found one. 'Womb Raider!'Brilliant!
Darcey Bussell suffered 'a little bit of a wardrobe malfunction' on Saturday's Strictly Come Dancing after the judge accidentally flashed her knickers to the Great British public as she sashayed to her seat. And, the Internet promptly melted under a torrent of sniggering, feigned outrage and shock and, you know, hot, sticky cum. And, let us once again dear blog reader, simply stand up and salute the utter horseshit that some people chose to care about.
That There Bradley Walsh is not averse to getting the giggles on The Chase and one of the Chasers was caught up in a hilarious answer on one of this week's episode. Brad asked the - seemingly innocuous - question: 'Which of these is not a genuine species of starfish?' However, the eventual right answer 'chocolate starfish' immediately sent him into a fit of giggles. Oh, God, it was Fanny Chmelar all over again! Bradley, not for the first time on the popular ITV team time quiz, could barely contain himself and even the sour-faced Governess struggled to keep a straight face. 'Funnily enough it's the only starfish I've heard of,' the contestant then added. Which didn't help matters.
Bradley has been pretty busy of late, what with his new role as one of The Doctor's companions on the new series of Doctor Who. He admitted this week that he's had to do 'quite a lot of juggling' to balance his commitments to the popular long-running BBC family SF drama and The Chase. 'My producers [on Doctor Who] and my producers [on The Chase], they plate-spin between the two of them,' he said. 'That's an ongoing contract I have with ITV so I have to take care of that. Everyone here at the Beeb, especially Matt [Strevens] and his team, has been unbelievably accommodating.'
Bradley also told the Digital Spy website that he was banned from taking a photo of the TARDIS. 'I was absolutely thrilled,' he explained. 'They said, "We're going into the TARDIS," so I said, "Oh right, I've got to get me camera out!""You can't take any photos!" It was a completely closed shop.'
Neil Gaiman has signed an exclusive deal to produce TV projects for Amazon Studios. Having developed and overseen the upcoming Good Omens series with Amazon and the BBC - which is based on Gaiman's collaborative novel with the late Sir Terry Pratchett - the author looks to have settled in nicely with the streaming service. 'What decided me was how much I enjoyed working with the Amazon team on Good Omens,' the writer explained of the new deal. 'They are smart, gloriously enthusiastic people, who weren't afraid of Good Omens being different but who were as determined as I was to make something as unique and exciting as it is. I'm thrilled to know that I'll have a home at Amazon in the future where I can make television that nobody's seen before, that's quite unlike Good Omens, but just as unusual and just as much fun.' The head of Amazon Studios, Jennifer Salke, said: 'Neil Gaiman is a phenomenally talented writer, who creates worlds that are compelling, multi-dimensional and narratively unique. His fans are ardent, vocal and passionate and we are fortunate to bring his gifted vision to the Prime Video audience.'
Meanwhile, the troubled second series of the Neil Gaiman adaptation American Gods recently lost its showrunner. Again. The first series Amazon's adaptation of Gaiman's popular novel received positive audience and critical reactions, including from this blog which placed it in the From The North's top three favourite shows of 2017. Off the back of a successful first series, showrunner and head writer Bryan Fuller and Michael Green appeared excited to build on that initial acclaim. Then, completely unexpectedly, they quit the project. And, since then, the journey to series two has seen the production lurching like a drunken uncle at a wedding from one embarrassing crisis to another. While it has never been officially confirmed, the widespread rumour within the industry is that Fuller and Green left the production due to a conflict over the budget - they wanted to add to the ten million smackers per episode cost of the show's opening eight episodes, Starz, it seems, very much did not. Following Fuller's departure, From The North favourite Gillian Anderson (who played Media, and was one of the best reasons for watching the show) announced that she was also leaving American Gods, connecting her departure to those of Fuller and Green in her statement. Starz then announced former Lost writer Jesse Alexander would work alongside Gaiman to run series two of American Gods. However, earlier this month Alexander was gone, too. FremantleMedia, Starz and the writer himself claim that he wasn't, technically, fired as such but that he had 'stepped down from the writing process,' with producing director Chris Byrne and line producer Lisa Kussner overseeing what have been described as 'extensive' reshoots as filming lags weeks behind schedule. When we'll actually get to see whatever is ultimately produced is another matter entirely.
Another From The North favourite, Star Trek: Discovery's second series finally has a confirmed launch date. Well, a confirmed launch month, anyway. A new poster states that it will began in January 2019.
And, speaking of returns, it has been confirmed this week that one - long-missing - character will be returning in the forthcoming final series of Game Of Thrones.
The very excellent Paul Anderson has shared a series of behind-the-scenes images during the filming of the next series of yet another From The North fave, yer actual Peaky Blinders. The images, originally posted to Paul's Snapchat page, show Paul dressed up in his character's costume, posing for the camera in a mirror. Tasty.
After a highly competitive final, Z-List Celebrity MasterChef crowned its winner of 2018 this week. Made In Chelsea-type person Spencer Matthews (no, me neither), former rugby player Martin Bayfield and ex-EastEnders actor John Partridge were the last three contestants with Partridge emerging victorious in what was, by a distance, the most z-list of Z-List Celebrity MasterChef
Losing ones job is never very nice, dear blog reader, but finding out the news via Twitter seems like a deliciously Twenty First Century way for it to happen. Just ask Steve McNeill, the co-creator of Dara O Briain's Go Eight-Bit, the video game-based panel show which used to be broadcast on UKTV channel Dave. On Thursday, the Dave Twitter account confirmed that the show had been extremely cancelled after three series in response to a fan's question. News of the cancellation was then retweeted by McNeill, who added: 'If you're wondering what telly's like, this tweet just now is how I found out Go Eight-Bit's definitely finished. Lovely stuff. Thanks to all u [sic] guys that watched.' And, if that does turn up as a question on the next series of Mock The Week for Dara and his mates to have a ruddy good mock at, they're really not trying hard enough.
The BBC's long-running antiques programme Flog It! has been cancelled after seventeen years. It is being removed as part of a shake-up to 'modernise' BBC1's daytime schedule, the corporation said, making room for six new shows. The programme, presented by Paul Martin, saw people have their antique items valued by experts before getting the option to sell them at auction. Episodes that have already been recorded will be shown next year. The series has been a regular on the channel since 2002, with more than one thousand episodes having been broadcast. A BBC spokeswoman said: 'We'd like to thank BBC Studios and host Paul Martin, who we will be working with on other programmes.'
An extremely distant dwarf planet, named The Goblin, has been discovered in observations that are redefining the outer reaches of the solar system. Astronomers made the discovery while hunting for a hypothetical massive planet, known as 'Planet Nine', which is suspected to be in orbit far beyond Pluto in a region of the solar system known as The Oort Cloud. Planet Nine has not yet been found, but The Goblin appears to be under the gravitational influence of a giant - unseen - object, adding to astronomers' certainty that it is out there somewhere on the way to Mondas, the Tenth Planet. The newly discovered icy world, estimated to be just three hundred kilometres across, is in an extremely elongated orbit. At its closest, it gets about two-and-a-half times as far from the sun as Pluto. Then it heads off to the outermost fringes of the solar system, to almost sixty times further out than Pluto, taking an astounding forty thousand years to loop once around the sun. For ninety nine per cent of its orbit, it would be too faint to see. The object is the third minor planet to have been found in the outer solar system, following the discoveries of Sedna and, recently, an object currently called 2012 VP113. And this region, which once appeared to be cold, dark and empty now appears to be a rich collection of exotic and extreme objects. 'We are only just now uncovering what the very outer solar system might look like and what might be out there,' said Scott Sheppard of the Carnegie Institution for Science in Washington DC and a member of the team. 'We believe there are thousands of dwarf planets in the distant solar system. We are just seeing the tip of the iceberg right now.' Intriguingly the orbits of the three objects discovered so far appear to be clustered together, suggesting that they are being shepherded by a giant object. This has pointed astronomers to the existence of a ninth, super-Earth sized planet. Konstantin Batygin, assistant professor of planetary science at Caltech, who has worked on theoretical simulations of the hypothetical Planet Nine, described the latest observations as 'a great discovery indeed. Despite centuries of surveys, our understanding of the solar system remains incomplete,' he said. 'This certainly adds to the growing ledger of objects that show Planet Nine's influence.' The new dwarf planet's formal name, assigned by the International Astronomical Union's Minor Planet Centre, is 2015 TG387. But, it soon acquired its more memorable nickname because 'human examination of the candidate slow-moving objects occurred in roughly the Halloween time frame,' explained David Tholen, of the University of Hawaii and a member of the observing team. The discovery was made using the Japanese Subaru eight-metre telescope located on the dormant Mauna Kea volcano in Hawaii. The telescope is the only one in the world to be able to produce deep images capable of probing the outer reaches of the solar system, while also having a wide enough field of view to be able to image enough sky to discover rare objects. 'With other large telescopes, it is like looking through a straw and thus they are good for observing things you know are there, but not for finding new things as their field of views are too small for covering large areas of sky,' said Sheppard. The team will begin a new run of observations in November, with the hope of finding more objects, possibly including the elusive Planet Nine.
A woman believed to be a reporter for Chinese state media is being held by police after allegedly slapping a delegate in the mush, geet hard, during a Hong Kong fringe event at the Conservative party's annual conference. Enoch Lieu claimed that the woman 'assaulted' him after he asked her to leave the event, entitled The Erosion Of Freedom, The Rule Of Law & Autonomy In Hong Kong, at the Birmingham International Convention Centre, on Sunday. He said that Fiona Bruce MP (no, the other one), who was chairing the event, asked the woman to leave because she shouted at one of the speakers, Benedict Rogers, founder of Hong Kong Watch, accusing him of 'trying to break up China.''I approached her and tried to tell her she had made her point and she was no longer welcome,' Lieu wrote on Twitter. 'The reporter continued her shouting and whilst I was trying to escort her out, she accused me of trying to silence her. Then I said: "No miss, you have to go." All of a sudden, she slapped me in my face. The audience was shocked and some brave men and women came and tried to escort her out. During the struggle, she continued her shouting and refused to leave, then out of the blue again, slapped me again.' Video footage posted on the Hong Kong Free Press website - and subsequently on the Gruniad Morning Star site - appeared to show part of the incident. Lieu can be seen telling a visibly angry woman: 'You are in the Conservative party conference, please go.' She responds by appearing to throw a slap, although the video does not show whether it landed or not. As others restrain her and try to usher her away, she tells Lieu: 'You have no right, you have no democratic [sic] in the UK, I'm a journalist here, I have [a] right to protest.' Lieu said that he had confirmed, later, the woman worked for the Chinese government-owned CCTV. A spokeswoman for West Midlands police said on Monday: 'Police were called to hall eleven at the ICC yesterday after reports a disturbance had broken out during a talk on Hong Kong. A forty eight-year-old woman from King's Cross, London, was arrested on suspicion of common assault. She remains in police custody.' She added that the woman had identified herself as working with a TV company. A spokesman for the Chinese embassy in London said the journalist 'deserved an apology.' He said: 'In a country that boasts freedom of speech, it is puzzling that the Chinese journalist should encounter obstruction in such a way and even assault at the fringe event when she simply raised a question and expressed her opinions. This is completely unacceptable. The human rights committee of the UK Conservative party should stop interfering in China's internal affairs and stop meddling in Hong Kong affairs. The organiser of fringe event should apologise to the Chinese journalist.' Others speaking at the event included Martin Lee, founder of the Democratic party of Hong Kong, Benny Tai, legal scholar and democracy activist and Nathan Law, Hong Kong's youngest elected legislator and a leader in the Umbrella movement.
An eighty three-year old woman was extremely arrested this week and accused of training dozens of cats to steal jewellery and other valuables from her neighbours. The Columbus Police Department opened an investigation on Ruth Gregson and her sixty five cats in October after several neighbours reported small objects being stolen from their homes. Several victims reported being visited by Gregson's cats before noticing the disappearance of several shiny objects, like valuable cutlery and pieces of jewellery. Despite their scepticism - that cats can be trained to do pretty much anything - investigators began a surveillance operation and were amazed by what they discovered. According to Columbus Police Chief Kim Jacobs, dozens of cats were 'constantly coming and going,' bringing home 'anything that shined.' Upon searching Gregson's house, investigators found six hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of jewellery and precious metal among piles of worthless shiny baubles. A total of sixty five adult cats and seventeen kittens were found on the site and entrusted to the Columbus Humane Society. Chief Jacobs said that the elderly woman confessed to training her cats to steal, saying the felines had to 'earn their meals.'
A man from the small town of Gould, just North of the Rocky Mountain National Park, claims he was 'held captive and repeatedly raped' by a male grizzly bear. According to forty seven-year Boris Madison, he was hiking alone in the woods near his residence when he was savagely attacked by a nine hundred pound brown bear. 'It came out of nowhere and started running towards me. I tried to flee but it caught me and started beating me with its front paws,' he said. Madison added that he feared for his life, but the animal suddenly stopped hitting him and picked him up in its jaws. The bear carried him in a nearby cave and began his sexual assaults on the man. 'When he dropped me in the cave, I thought I was going to be devoured. But instead, it but pinned me face down with one of its paws and started scrubbing its genitals all over me.' Madison claims that he was held captive in the cave for sixteen days and that the animal sexually assaulted him 'at least three times a day.' He was finally able to get away when the sounds of gunshots from nearby hunters scared the animal away, allowing the man to flee from his cave prison. Madison was covered with lacerations and suffered from severe dehydration when he made it back to town and was rapidly transported to the hospital. Madison says that he feels lucky to be alive, even if the memories of his ordeal will 'haunt' him for the rest of his life. Grizzly bear attacks are rare across North America, even if an average of two people are killed every year in such incidents. Most attacks result from a bear being surprised at a very close range, especially if in the case of female grizzlies protecting their offspring. This is only the second reported case of a bear sexual assaulting a human. The first incident was reported in Montana in 2009 when two teenagers claimed they were assaulted in a similar manner by a young male grizzly bear. The animal was then hunted down and very killed by Montana Wildlife agents.
Doctors had to use a laser to remove electrical wire that has knotted in an eighteen-year-old's bladder after he shoved it up his urethra, allegedly 'to arouse himself.' A report in - of course - the Scum Mail Online claimed that the unnamed teenager, from Uttar Pradesh in India, was 'in pain and struggled to urinate' - but did not confess to urologists the reason behind his agony was, quite literally, self-inflicted. However, medics delved into his medical history and found out that this was not the first time he had put 'strange objects' up his penis, the case report revealed. They assumed he had placed another object into his urethra and conducted scans, which showed an electrical wire tangled in his bladder. Urologists were forced to use a laser to break the wire into smaller pieces to pull out. The tale, revealed in a prestigious medical journal, did not explain what other objects the man had previously placed up his dong in the past. Writing in the BMJ Case Reports, medics in Lucknow said the man used the wire for 'eroticism'– for his sexual desire. They added that the surgery was managed by endoscopic removal following fragmentation of wire under local anaesthesia using holmium laser. The teenager 'sought medical help' after he found it painful to urinate and had 'pain in his bladder region.' Upon questioning, it was revealed that the pain had started after he placed the electric wire in his urethra 'for sexual gratification.' X-rays conducted by the team at King George's Medical University showed a coiled electric wire in his bladder. It is thought the wire reached his bladder because of the contractions whenever he tried to urinate, curling it up and pushing it deeper. Speaking to media, Doctor Ajay Aggarwal, claimed the boy had 'no psychiatric illness' as an evaluation proved 'unremarkable.' The operation proved to be a success and the teenager was discharged twenty four hours after the procedure. To do the walk of shame all the way home, no doubt.
After allegedly burglarising a fraternity house, a twenty five-year-old woman was, reportedly, 'caught with her pants down' by a house member. The woman, identified as Melissa Lenz by KFOR-News, allegedly entered the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity at Oklahoma City University on Sunday through the front door, which was unlocked. She then went into a room, where she stole hundreds of dollars in cash and a set of car keys, according to the report. During that time, Lenz also reportedly defecated in the middle of the same room, KFOR-News reported, citing court documents. Jennifer Rodgers, the Oklahoma City University police chief, told the news station that a fraternity member, who has not yet been identified, walked in on Lenz while she was in the process of taking a dump. At that time, Lenz 'screamed and pulled up her pants' before slamming the door, KFOR-News reported. Shortly after, when police arrived, they allegedly found 'a plastic bag that smelled of faecal matter,' according to the news station. Though Lenz allegedly escaped the house through an open window before police arrived, she was later located and arrested.
A Bellefontaine woman is facing charges after she allegedly allowed a teen to give her ten-year-old son a tattoo. Nikki J Dickinson was extremely charged with first-degree misdemeanour child endangering and 'contributing to the delinquency of a minor.' Officers say that Dickinson told them she 'got tired' of her son asking, so she allowed him to get the tattoo. Court documents said that Dickinson endangered her son by allowing the tattoo to happen in unsafe, unsanitary conditions. The sixteen-year-old reportedly 'frequently' gives tattoos at home according to a witness and investigators say it is believed the teen gave a tattoo to another individual that turned into a MRSA infection. The sixteen-year-old was charged with two delinquency counts of tattooing prohibitions: performing tattooing 'in a manner that doesn't meet safety and sanitation standards' and tattooing in a manner 'that does not meet sterilisation and disinfection standards.'
A Delaware man reportedly got out a vehicle, stripped naked and attempted to jump through the window of a Lancaster-area diner on Sunday, according to state police. Tremayne Michael Lofland, of Milford, was at the Aunt Jennie Diner. After getting naked, Lofland is reported to have tried to jump through a large glass window of the diner. Lofland was 'under the influence of an unknown substance' at the time of the incident, police said. No shit? He was subsequently charged with 'open lewdness, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness,' police said.
A Colorado man whom authorities accused of killing his pregnant wife and two children is reportedly'upset' by the widespread coverage his case is receiving. 'He is very frustrated. He didn't know that everyone knows about the case,' an alleged 'source' who allegedly 'speaks with' Chris Watts from Weld County Jail allegedly told People magazine. Watts was very arrested on 15 August and extremely charged with the murders of his wife, Shanann and their daughters Bella and Celeste. For more than a month, Watts has been spending twenty three hours a day in his cell under suicide watch, with no TV or reading material. Once a day, he is allowed to go to a common room, where he has access to a communal newspaper. It was only recently that he has learned his case has been covered nationally, the alleged 'source' allegedly told the magazine. 'He feels like no one understands him and nobody knows what happened,' the alleged 'source' allegedly said. 'He thinks if they did understand, they'd realise that he's not the monster everyone says he is.' Watts claimed that his wife 'went berserk' when he told her he wanted to separate and that she is the one who murdered their daughters. His arrest affidavit shows that he confessed to strangling Shanann, who was fifteen weeks pregnant - but he claims it was after he watched her kill Celeste. 'The gravity of the situation has hit him like a ton of bricks,' the alleged 'source' allegedly said. 'Depression is setting in and he's despondent.'
Police reportedly arrested a man at Dublin airport on Thursday morning for breaking onto the tarmac and 'trying to chase down a plane' after missing his flight according to RTE, Ireland's public service broadcaster. The man, in his twenties and a woman had missed a Ryanair flight to Amsterdam. As the couple spoke with airline staff at the gate, the man broke through the door and ran onto the tarmac, the Press Association reported. He then tried to 'flag down' the plane as it taxied away from the gate, but was held back by staff. The man was taken to a nearby police station for questioning.
You know, dear blog reader, when you are engaged in some activity and someone says to you 'careful with that, you could have someone's eye out?' and you reply 'don't be so ridiculous ...' Well, have a care, because it does happen. A spectator has lost her sight in one eye after a golf ball hit her eye and caused it to 'explode' during The Ryder Cup. Corine Remande was watching American golfer Brooks Koepka tee-off last Friday on the par-four sixth hole when his shot veered off course and hit her in the face. The spectator recalled to the AFP news agency: 'It happened so fast, I didn't feel any pain when I was hit. I didn't feel like the ball had struck my eye and then I felt the blood start to pour. The scan on Friday confirmed a fracture of the right eye-socket and an explosion of the eyeball.' Remande's husband said: 'In the best case, she was told that she could see forms when the oedema [fluid] will be resorbed within a month.' She claimed that there was no warning beforehand and that the competition's organisers did not attempt to contact her after the incident to check on her condition. Koepka went over to Remande after the ball struck to check on her but, she said, she told him 'not to worry' so as to not distract him from the game. 'It looked like it hurt,' he said. 'It's hard to control a golf ball, especially for three hundred yards and a lot of times the fans are close to the fairway. You can yell "fore" but it doesn't matter from three hundred yards, you can't hear it.' The couple are now considering legal action, though this is to help cover medical costs and the European Tour PGA said that it would 'investigate' the incident. Europe's winning Ryder Cup captain Thomas Bjorn said: 'It's terrible, it's a freak accident that's happened, and all our thoughts are with her.' There are an average of over twelve thousand golf-related injuries which require hospital treatment each year in the UK alone, according to specialist insurance company Golf Care.
An investigation is underway after a man reportedly died in what appears to be a freak accident in Missouri on Wednesday night. Charles Wood Junior was at a St Louis Jack In The Box drive-thru, when he stopped at an angle and was trying to get his food from the window. According to police, it appeared he opened his door and was leaning out of the car to reach the food since he was too far away from the window. He placed his car in reverse and accelerated, which caused his car to go backward and strike a tree – which pinned him between the car and tree. The impact from the accident caused serious injuries to Wood's head, neck, torso and legs. And, that was the end of his shit.
A team of alleged burglars crashed a stolen minivan through the glass front entrance of the Native Roots marijuana dispensary, stole containers from inside the store and then crashed into an oncoming police vehicle during their escape early on Wednesday morning according to reports. But, for all their trouble, the thieves didn't get enough marijuana for a single joint, according to Native Roots' spokeswoman Kim Casey. All the Mary Jane was locked up and the thieves couldn't get any of the product, Casey said. The boxes they took were actually filled with T-shirts and oregano, she added. And, if you smoke that, all you get is spicy.
She has hardly built herself a reputation as the nation's favourite Royal. Now Princess Michael of Kent is likely to see her popularity rating fall even further thanks to comments attributed to her in a new book. The princess allegedly described England as 'the most stupid nation in Europe.' She allegedly made the alleged remark in an alleged conversation with the late society gossip James Lees-Milne, it was reported. Albeit, by the Daily Scum Mail, so it's probably lies. 'The fifty eight-year-old, nicknamed Princess Pushy, also told the diarist she dislikes other members of her family,' the Scum Mail claims. 'In his diaries, published next month, he writes: "She has a poor opinion of the English, calling them the stupidest nation in Europe. She particularly dislikes their false modesty, which she finds hypocritical."'
A Tennessee man pulled over during a traffic stop was found 'sitting on some funny money,' police said. Robert Mitchell, was stopped by police on Monday in Nashville, where he was allegedly speeding and, initially, refused to slow down, WSMV reports. After eventually surrendering to police, Mitchell then refused to get out of his car and tried to put the vehicle into drive. A subsequent search of Mitchell's car revealed a small amount of marijuana and a Viagra pill, police said. Officer also found five fake one hundred dollar bills 'concealed between his butt cheeks,' according to a police report obtained by WKRN. Mitchell, of Nashville, was taken into custody in Davidson County Jail, where he was held in connection with several charges, including unlawful possession of a controlled substance, drug possession without a prescription, criminal simulation and driving with a revoked license.
Authorities said that a Florida woman was arrested after allegedly hitting her husband with a vacuum cleaner part, the Tampa Bay Times reported. Holly Jane Akers, of Holiday, is accused of one count of felony battery on a person sixty five or older, according to Pasco County deputies. Akers was arrested on Tuesday morning; her husband, Charles Plagens, said that his wife attacked him with the vacuum cleaner, the Times reported. According to the arrest affidavit, Plagens claimed that he began arguing with Akers when she started cleaning their house around 3am on Tuesday. Plagens said that he 'moved from room to room' in an attempt to sleep, but that Akers followed him through the house with the vacuum cleaner. Plagens added that Akers struck him on the bridge of the nose with a vacuum cleaner attachment, causing a minor abrasion, the newspaper reported.
A farmer was allegedly attacked and killed by a pig in a market in southwest China, according to local media reports. The man, identified only by his surname Yuan, was found dead with a severed artery, covered in blood near a sty at the market in Liupanshui in Guizhou province, the South China Morning Post reported. It is claimed he had travelled with his cousin from the neighbouring Yunnan province on Wednesday to sell fifteen pigs at the market. The following morning, his cousin found him extremely dead and discovered a door to a neighbouring pig sty open. The cousin said that in the sty was 'a large male pig with blood on its mouth.' A forensic examination confirmed that the five hundred and fifty pound hog had mauled the farmer to a grizzly death, according to the report. 'My cousin's legs were bloody and mangled,' the cousin, referred to by his surname Wu, told the Guiyang Evening News.
A Texas woman, Londy Jo Vick was reportedly arrested on Saturday afternoon for Indecency with a Child-F3 and Public intoxication-Class C. Odessa police were called in reference to an indecent of alleged indecent exposure when they were advised that a woman wearing a blue tank top shirt had pulled her pants down and exposed herself to several children. Witness stated that Vick exposed her private parts to children by pulling down her shorts whilst 'yelling profanities' and 'pushing her hips forward.' Witnesses also stated that seven children saw Vick's naughty nakedness. Vick then, reportedly, began walking away when police located her. Police stated that, whilst speaking with Vick, they could smell a strong odour of alcohol coming from her person and that her speech was slurred and low.
Police say that intoxication was 'likely a factor' in the case of a woman jailed on Monday after reportedly striking her boyfriend, a car and items in a Waco motel room with a baseball bat. KWTX-TVreported that Kelly Littlejohn was arrested on Monday evening at a Motel in Waco. Officers claimed that Littlejohn hit her boyfriend with an aluminium baseball bat which she then, allegedly, turned on the door of their room, items inside the room and the windows of her car. Upon arriving at the motel, police found Littlejohn barricaded in a bathroom and refusing to come out. Police were later able to remove her from the room. Littlejohn is charged with criminal mischief and assault with a deadly weapon.
A man allegedly nicknamed 'the Romeo of Rimini' because he slept with so many women has died while having intercourse with a twenty three-year-old tourist. Maurizio Zanfanti, Italy's most famous playboy, was sixty three when he died according to Metro. He is said to have slept with more than six thousand women, previously boasting that in a successful summer he could sleep with around two hundred women. His highest tally, he said, was two hundred and seven. He started out as a nightclub promoter in Rimini in the 1970s when he was seventeen. Working for a nightclub called Blow Up, he would chat to women on the street to try and get them to come into the venue. In a 2016 interview he said: 'I think I've done more tourism promotion for Rimini than a hundred agencies.' During the winter months he worked for tourist agencies in Scandinavia and he was so well-known that a wax statue of him was put up in a Swedish town. However, on Tuesday night he had a fatal heart attack while having The Sex with a woman from Eastern Europe on his estate in the Pradella area of Rimini. She called emergency services but paramedics were unable to revive him and he was declared dead. Italian media has said it was 'the way he would have wanted to go.'
A woman in Florida reportedly told a police officer that battering a woman she lived with was 'worth it,' according to an arrest report. The incident happened 26 September at a Camellia Place residence. A Crestview police officer was summoned to deal with a person who had been asked to leave but had refused. Whilst the officer was there, the alleged victim walked out with a handful of clothing. The alleged defendant followed her, grabbed her by the arm and, allegedly, threw her into a headlock, pulling her hair. When the officer detained the woman she is reported to have said, 'It was worth it,' the report added.
A man has been arrested by the Customs department at the Indira Gandhi International airport for allegedly trying to smuggle in one kilogram of gold by hiding it in his rectum, an official statement said on Wednesday. The twenty four-year-old passenger was intercepted upon his arrival from Dubai on Monday, it said. He was rumoured to be 'walking funny' and had a 'rather cornered' look on his boat. On detailed baggage examination and personal search, it was discovered that the accused had hidden nine gold bars, weighing 1.04 kilograms up his bottom. The gold bars were seized - presumably, after they had been extracted - and the passenger was very arrested, the department said.
Geoffrey Hayes, who hosted long-running children's TV show, Rainbow, has died aged seventy six. The actor and presenter died in hospital surrounded by his family, according to his manager. In a statement, Phil Dale said: 'It is with great sadness that the family announce that Geoffrey passed away in hospital with his wife, Sarah and son, Tom, by his side.' Geoffrey presented Rainbow on ITV between 1974 to 1992. Dale added: 'The family would like to express their thanks to the many fans over the years as it always gave Geoffrey so much pleasure to know that he and his Rainbow team had given so much fun to TV and theatre audiences.' The pre-school show featured the characters Zippy, George and Bungle as they lived in The Rainbow House and ran for more than a thousand episodes. The programmes also featured musical interludes from the trio Rod, Jane and Freddy as well as animations and stories read from the famous Rainbow storybook. Geoffrey - who joined Rainbow in 1973, replacing the original host, David Cook - also had an initially successful acting career, starring as Detective Constable Scatliff in the BBC crime drama Z Cars in the early 1970s as well as guest roles in Harriet's Back In Town, Dixon of Dock Green, Softly Softly: Task Force and The Sooty Show. After Rainbow, Hayes said that he was 'frustrated' not to find more acting work, as 'directors could only think of me as Rainbow's Geoffrey.' He appeared in pantomimes and on some panel shows including an episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks in 2002 and Pointless Celebrities in 2015. In 1996, Hayes appeared in the video for 'I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing" by Oasis tribute band, No Way Sis. He played the role of a taxi driver, parodying the performance of Patrick Macnee in the contemporary Oasis video for 'Don't Look Back in Anger'. In a 2015 interview with the Daily Scum Express, Geoffrey said that he had spent four months working nights, shelf-stacking at a local supermarket and had also worked a stint as a taxi driver - something that was played upon in an advertising campaign he starred in for Monster Munch. In the interview, Hayes recalled his time on Rainbow with great fondness: 'I'm very proud of Rainbow and even now, over twenty years since it finished in 1993, people remember it with affection. Amazingly, I still get recognised. People stop me and thank me for being an important part of their childhood - it's humbling.'
His love songs have inspired millions, but over the weekend yer actual Sir Paul McCartney (MBE) had a more direct role in the love story of one Canadian couple. The former Be-Atle (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them) was in Winnipeg for a concert when he photo-bombed a couple taking pictures before their wedding. Macca passed the couple while riding his bike along the river on Saturday. The moment was immortalised by the couple's wedding photographer. Groom Steve Gregg was the first to spot the famous musician. 'He said congratulations as he rode by and Steve said, "That was Paul McCartney,"' bride Jen Roscoe told the CBC after the pictures were posted online. But when Paul (and his two bodyguards) hit a dead end, they had to turn around and ride past the couple again. That's when Gregg plucked up the courage to ask for a picture.
A ninety four-year-old man who has dementia was invited to fulfil a lifelong dream by scoring a penalty in front of Notts County's home fans. A spokesperson for the club said that Roy Prentice, from Chilwell, was 'a massive County supporter' who wanted to score a goal in front of Meadow Lane's Kop end before he died. The event took place at half-time on Saturday during The Magpies' home fixture against Crewe Alexandra. Alice Kelk, fan engagement executive, said: 'It was a beautiful moment. His family were watching and were very emotional.'
Theresa May has told the BBC she is 'cross' with Boris Johnson after the former foreign secretary launched a fresh attack on her plan for Brexit at the Conservative Party Conference. You wouldn't like her when she's angry, Boris.
An Oregon woman charged with stealing an ambulance last Sunday while paramedics performed CPR on an unconscious woman had one question after her arrest, according to a report. 'Why did they leave it unlocked?,' asked the suspect Christy Lynn Woods, according to an affidavit seen by The Oregonian. According to court documents, Woods drove the ambulance through downtown Roseburg, leading police on a chase for nearly thirty miles - reaching a speed of eighty five miles per hour, the newspaper reported. At one point, Woods struck a police vehicle that was travelling ahead of her in order to divert traffic, the report added. The impact totalled the police vehicle and left Oregon State Police Sergeant Ken Terry with 'some minor injuries,' the News-Review of Roseburg reported. Later, Woods drove the ambulance over a strip of spikes set up by police and eventually exited the ambulance at a gas station, where she was very arrested. It was Woods' eighth arrest this year, the report stated. Woods was booked on thirteen charges, including assault, interfering with paramedics, criminal mischief and reckless driving, The Oregonian reported. According to Portland's KOIN-TV, it was Woods' thirty ninth arrest in Douglas County since 2013. In February, she was convicted of second-degree disorderly conduct after allegedly trying to hit bar patrons with a bottle, yelling slurs and kicking a police officer somewhere that he really didn't want to be kicked, according to the News-Review. In 2016, another Roseburg woman, Jolene Marie Barnes, was arrested for stealing an ambulance, the News-Review reported. She was later convicted on a first-degree aggravated theft charge and sentenced to twenty two days in jail, the report said, later receiving another sixty days for violating her probation.
And, finally dear blog reader ...

'So, today, I want to talk about the greatest woman I ever met. Smart. Funny. Caring. Proper special.'
'Don't be scared. All of this is new to you. And, "new" can be scary. We all want answers, stick with me you might get some.'
''Empty pockets! I hate empty pockets.'
'Don't panic, not the end of the world. Well it could be the end of the world. But, one thing at a time!'
'I'm with him, we don't get aliens in Sheffield!'
'Two weird things, one city, one night. Makes me nervous.'
'I'm just wondering whether there's been anything else out of the ordinary tonight?''It's the nightshift in Sheffield, everything's out of the ordinary!'
'I'm just a traveller. Sometimes, I see things need fixing, I do what I can.'
'You don't look like an alien.''You should've seen me a few hours back. My whole body changed. Every cell in my body, burning. Some of them are still at it now, re-ordering, regenerating.''Sounds painful.''You have no idea! There's this moment when you're sure you're about to die. And then, you're born. It's terrifying. Right now, I'm a stranger to myself. There's echoes of who I was and a sort of call towards who I am. And I have to hold my nerve and trust all these new instincts. Shape myself towards them. I'll be find, in the end. Hopefully! I'll have to be because you guys need help and if there's one thing I'm certain of, when people need help, I never refuse. Right, this is gonna be fun!'
'I suppose you'll be blaming this on the dyspraxia as well? Can't ride a bike, started an alien invasion ...!'
'Get in, it actually worked.''Of course it worked, I'm not an amateur!'
'Sonic screwdriver. Well, I say "screwdriver", it's a bit more multi-purpose than that. Scanner, diagnostics. Tin-opener! More of a sonic Swiss Army Knife. Only without the knife. Only idiots carry knives!'
'Have you got family?''No. I lost them a long time ago.''How did you cope with that?''I carry them with me. What they would have thought and said and done. Make them a part of who I am. So, even though they're gone from the world they're never gone from me.'
'When you say "soon to be leader", what are you now, Office Junior?'
'Why are you calling me "Madam"?''Because ... you're a woman?''Am I? Does it suit me? ... Sorry, half-an-hour ago I was a white-hair Scotsman!'
'We're all capable of the most incredible change. We can evolve while still staying true to who we are. We can honour who we've been and choose who we want to be next, now's your chance. How about it?'

'Don't worry, I've got a plan?''Really?''Well, I will have by the time I get to the top!' So, dear blog reader, in what may well be the biggest surprise in the history of big surprises, this blogger thought that was bloody great. We also learned that you should never, not never, throw kebab-salad at a nasty looking alien. Whichis well worth knowing this blogger feels. One - major - question, though; why is That There Bradley Walsh, a famous - and proud - Arsenal fan, wearing a West Hamsters United scarf?! 'Who are you?''I'm glad you asked that again. A bit of adrenalin, a dash of outrage and a hint of panic knitted my brain back together. I know exactly who I am. I'm The Doctor, sorting out fair play throughout the universe. Now, please, get off this planet!' Jodie Whittaker, dear blog reader, is The Doctor. Never doubted it for a second.
Mike Hale's fascinating review of The Woman Who Fell To Earth in the New York Times, The Doctor Regenerates and So Does Doctor Who is worthy of five minutes of your time, dear blog reader. 'There is, in comparison to recent seasons, scant reference to the show's mythology, as if Mr Chibnall is consciously distancing himself from it,' writes Hale. 'The TARDIS, The Doctor's time-and-space ship disguised as a police box, does not appear and there is, for all intents and purposes, no travel in either time or space. Beyond any momentary quirks, though, there are deeper changes in style and spirit that are likely to be more permanent. Mr Moffat's Doctor Who was like an hour spent hanging out with clever undergraduates whose imaginations were on overdrive, saturated in both canonical and pop-culture and enamoured of wordplay and brain teasers. It was frosted, sometimes too heavily, with moral dilemmas, light conundrums and the kind of romanticism associated with ancient British universities. It could leave you cold or drive you crazy, but there wasn't much else like it on television. In Mr Chibnall's debut, words and ideas no longer have pride of place - the game playing is gone, along with the sharply morbid sense of humour. This Doctor Who feels like a lot of other TV shows, not just in its writing but in its pacing, its cinematography, its use of music. When the scary monsters appear, you could be watching any other well-made but conventional science-fiction or horror show. Or a police procedural, for that matter. Everything about the show is more ordinary, which may have to do with levels of inventiveness but also feels like a choice. Mr Chibnall has eased off the throttle, lowering the sensations per minute.'
Whilst some abject prick of no importance at the Torygraphconsidered the episode as 'too dark and dour,' most reviews of The Woman Who Fell To Earth were, by contrast, highly positive. Take Allison Shoemaker's review at Roger Ebert.com: 'The Doctor, in short, is still the Doctor, but is also something - and someone - new. To see a series with a history this long headed off in such a promising new direction would be thrilling regardless; Whittaker's performance is irresistible to both the critical and Whovian [sic] pieces of my mind. It encompasses the quickness of David Tennant, the grounded energy of Christopher Eccleston, the undeniable foreignness of Matt Smith and both the questionable social graces and the slight twinge of long-accepted loss of Peter Capaldi. Whittaker apes none of the performances of these men, nor any of their predecessors (though her costume does nod to several of them). She, as The Doctor herself puts it in a scene near the episode's climax, honours who she's been, while embracing who she'll become. It's a performance that feels simultaneously newborn and ancient and there's nothing more Gallifreyan than that.' Word.
Trainspotter fandom moment: Did you know, dear blog reader, that The Woman Who Fell To Earth was, as far as this blogger is aware, only the tenthDoctor Who story in fifty five years not to feature the TARDIS in it. It follows: Mission To The Unknown (1965), Doctor Who & The Silurians (1970), The Mind Of Evil and The Dæmons (both 1971), The Sea Devils (1972), The Sontaran Experiment and Genesis Of The Daleks (both 1975), Midnight (2008) and The Lie Of The Land (2017). So, just in case you've forgotten what it looks like, it's the blue thing on the right. No, the blue thing on the right, behind That There Bradley Walsh ...
Yer actual rock and/or roll God Roger Daltrey (CBE) his very self has admitted that he would 'love' to join Jodie Whittaker in the TARDIS for an adventure in time and/or space and revealed that he was close to making a guest appearance on the show in the mid-1980s. Speaking to the Daily Scum Mail newspaper, Roge said: 'I was almost in it in the Eighties. It was around the period that Bonnie Langford was in it and I know her so she spoke with the producers who loved the idea. We tried but it was a busy period with touring and recording. I was so unhappy we never got around to it but I am now hopeful that I may get the call up with the new female Doctor Jodie Whittaker. It would be a dream come true.'
The BBC has confirmed that next Sunday's episode of Doctor Who will have a - slightly - later start time than Jodie Whittaker's debut. The Woman Who Fell To Earth, premiered at 6.45pm and was around sixty minutes in duration. As reported by Radio Times, The Ghost Monument will begin ten minutes later, at 6.55pm. Since episode two - and, indeed, the rest of the series' episodes - are fifty minutes long, that still means the Strictly Come Dancing results show will begin at 7.45pm. The episode, written by Chris Chibnall, sees Jodie Whittaker's Doctor and her new friends 'stuck in a hostile alien environment.' Only, not Sheffield this time.
Jodie, meanwhile, appeared on Stephen Colbert's US chat show on Wednesday night, giving one unwitting American subtitler the rare opportunity to try and get to grips with a Yorkshire accent. Predictably, it didn't go at all well.
Whilst everyone with half-a-brain in their skull falls head-over-heels in love with the first series of Killing Eve, production on a second series is well under way. We don't have a confirmed broadcast date yet, but filming on the second run of Killing Eve has already begun in Amsterdam, London and Paris. However, there's some bad news. The acclaimed first series was written by Phoebe Waller-Bridge and it's her funny, clever, inventive and just-a-bit-dangerous scripts that are one of the main reasons why the drama has been such a hit on both sides of the Atlantic (a superb cast notwithstanding). However, as Phoebe is currently busy filming a new series of Fleabag, the writing responsibility for series two of Killing Eve been passed to Call The Midwife's Emerald Fennell.
Bodyguard has now become one of the top five most-watched TV programmes of this decade, new figures show. The final episode of the acclaimed BBC thriller had a huge consolidated audience of 14.34 million. Only four other - none-sporting - programmes have managed to get higher ratings this decade: The X Factor, EastEnders, The Great British Bake Off and Coronation Street. The figures, published by BARB, include those viewers who recorded Bodyguard's finale and watched it up to seven days later. It means that the series has outperformed many of the decade's highest-profile dramas including Doctor Who, Sherlock and Downton Abbey. Bodyguard has also managed to beat this decade's most-watched episodes of Strictly Come Dancing and Britain's Got Toilets and I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want), along with last year's natural history blockbuster Blue Planet II. The size of Bodyguard's audience will doubtless fuel speculation about a second series, but as yet the BBC and the show's creator, Jed Mercurio, have said nothing official about a possible return for David Budd (Richard Madden). Mainly since Mercurio is a bit busy with his other great creation, Line Of Duty at the moment. When compared with some of this year's live events, the final episode of Bodyguard also pulled in more viewers than England's World Cup matches against both Panama and Belgium (albeit, both of those were shown in mid-afternoon). It was, however, still some way behind the 20.73 million who saw England's semi-final defeat to Croatia, which remains the largest TV audience of 2018 so far. The biggest TV audience of this decade was set by the closing ceremony of the 2012 Olympics, which was watched by 24.46 million punters.
AC-12 will be facing off against their 'most dangerous enemy yet' when Line Of Duty returns for its fifth series in 2019. For weeks, the BBC series has been dropping hints about 'a mysterious new character' - to be played by This Is England's Stephen Graham - suggesting that he will be the next major villain of the popular crime drama. On Wednesday, it was confirmed that Graham will be playing the leader of The Balaclava Men who have been plaguing AC-12 with a string of brutal crimes. Graham's character, John Corbett and Lisa McQueen (played by Rochenda Sandall) are 'key figures' in organised crime under the command of the shadowy 'H', who all become 'persons of interest' to AC-12 when a series of crimes 'rock the community' two years after the last Balaclava Man attack. 'It's an honour to have been asked to be part of the Line Of Duty team,' Graham said of joining the show. 'I'm especially looking forward to working with Martin Compston and Vicky McClure again.' Returning favourites McClure (Kate Fleming), Compston (Steve Arnott) and Adrian Dunbar (Ted Hastings) are all signed on, as are Maya Sondhi (Maneet Bindra), Polly Walker (Gill Biggeloe), Aiysha Hart (Sam Railston), Tony Pitts (Les Hargreaves) and Andrea Irvine as Roisin Hastings. There will be some fresh faces too, including Taj Atwal, Susan Vidler, Richard Pepple, Sian Reese-Williams, Ace Bhatti and Elizabeth Rider. 'Thanks to such a fantastic response from the Line Of Duty audience, it feels extra special to be back filming series five,' Vicky McClure said. 'I absolutely love working with Martin and Adrian and Jed has without a doubt stepped it all up a gear this series. His writing just gets better and better. We have lots of great new cast members and I'm over the moon Stephen is on board, he's a good friend and one of the finest actors. I'm already excited for the twists and turns to hit the screens.'
Any Qi fan worthy of the name knows about the famous Qi Elves, the behind-the-scenes researchers who source the fiendishly difficult questions for every episode. But Pandora, an elf credited for her work on the current Series P, has got some of the show's more rabid fans wondering if there is more to her than meets the eye. Particularly as it seems that on every episode, her surname is spelled differently. So far in four episodes this series, the 'Puzzle Wrangler', who tweets from @QIPandora, has been credited as Pandora Pacelin, Pandora Pallift, Pandora Pelico and Pandora la Palet. On Twitter, Pandora regularly complains about her name being misspelled. 'Question - what is it called when the first letters of your tweets spell out an important word or phrase?' she asked after this Monday's episode was broadcast. A visit to the website qi.com/pandora reveals that these surnames appear to be clues to a series-long puzzle which will run - like the current Qi series - into 2019, with a prize to be awarded to a lucky winner at the end. Pandora has also revealed that work has begun on the next - Q - series: 'So the Elves are on a strict Q-themed diet of Quavers, Quaker Oats and Quality Street. Thanks Tesco for the free swag. Any chance of some (te)Quila?'
Mind you, the Qi Elves don't get everything right, it would seem. Having previously announced on Twitter that the P series of Qi XL would be starting on BBC2 on Saturday 6 October, seemingly the BBC themselves did not agree. You might have noticed if you'd been looking for it. Instead, the series will actually begin on Saturday 13 October.
Game Of Thrones' Iain Glen has claimed that the drama's final series will include 'some epic moments' that will 'bring the cast together.' In an interview with the Daily Scum Express the actor said that the final episodes will features some 'monumental set pieces,' adding that the cast were 'together for lots of it.' Speaking about the finale, Iain added: '[They] read like the six best scripts. The final scripts are really special.' But he also warned that the show's ending would be 'emotional' for fans. 'We all sat down for the read-through of six feature-length episodes,' he said. 'They took longer to film, cost more, and are more surprising. It was very emotional, Game Of Thrones will stick with us all forever and we were very lucky to have been a part of the show. The realist won't sink in until it comes to next year when we should be filming, but we're not.' Reflecting on his eight years on the massively popular HBO series, Iain added: 'It allowed me to travel all the world. I am one of the lucky ones who made it through!'
Glen's Game Of Thrones cast-mate Peter Dinklage has promised that Tyrion Lannister's ending in Game Of Thrones' final series will be 'beautiful.' Although tight-lipped about the ultimate fate of his popular character, Dinklage suggested that viewers will be 'in for it' when the show returns next year. 'There are no better writers in television than Dan Weiss and David Benioff,' he told Entertainment Tonight. 'They ended it brilliantly. Better than I could have imagined and you people are in for it. It ends beautifully for my character, whether it be tragic or not.'
After Paul Anderson recently revealed that the next series of From The North favourite Peaky Blinders has started filming, the BBC confirmed this by releasing the first official image of Cillian Murphy. And, a horse. 'Series five of Steven Knight's crime family saga finds the world thrown into turmoil by the financial crash of 1929. Opportunity and misfortune are everywhere,' reads the synopsis. 'When Tommy Shelby MP is approached by a charismatic politician with a bold vision for Britain, he realises that his response will affect not just his family's future but that of the entire nation.' Given that description and the period in which the action takes place, this blogger is betting that the politician involved is likely to be Oswald Mosley. Steven Knight said: 'The story of the Peaky Blinders and of the Shelby family gets woven into the political fabric of Britain and Europe as the 1920s end and the thirties begin. Tommy Shelby faces the darkest force he has ever faced and his struggle is as relevant today as it was then.'
Filming is also currently underway on the fifth series of another From The North fave, Shetland which, like Peaky Blinders, will be broadcast on BBC1 during 2019. Douglas Henshall who plays Jimmy Perez said that it is 'quite a tough storyline' and 'it gets quite Gothic towards the end.' The fourth series has been nominated for a number of Scottish BAFTA awards. Author Ann Cleeves recently published her eighth and - she insists - final novel on which the series is based, Wild Fire.
New images and a trailer of yer actual David Tennant and Michael Sheen his very self from the set of Good Omens have been revealed this week. Neil Gaiman's TV adaptation of his acclaimed co-written fantasy novel is coming soon to Amazon Prime Video and fans have a first look at how the characters of Aziraphae and Crowley have made the jump from page to screen.
It remains one of the most touching moments of the Queen's reign. Now Olivia Colman has recreated the moment that the monarch met families affected by the Aberfan disaster in late 1966. The aftermath of the tragedy is being recreated in the small Welsh village of Cwmaman for the next series of The Crown. BAFTA-winner Colman will star as Her Maj in the third series of the hit drama to be shown next year. She has been filming a recreation of events after the Aberfan tragedy on 21 October 1966, when a colliery waste-tip collapsed, with slurry engulfing Pantglas Junior School in the village. A total of one hundred and forty four people - including one hundred and sixteen children - died in the tragedy on the last day before half term. Eight days after the disaster Queen Elizabeth visited the village for the first time, speaking to villagers, including some of the bereaved parents. She has returned to the village on four occasions since. Colman was filmed leaving a small terraced house, flanked by police officers and mourning villagers. She was dressed in a fur-lined coat with matching hat and clutching a black leather handbag and bouquet of flowers. Actors were also seen carrying funeral wreaths through the streets. One - anonymous - onlooker, who watched the filming, snitched to the tabloids: 'It was all very dignified, Olivia Colman is clearly taking her role very seriously. There was a very sombre mood. I think everyone involved in the production realises what an awful tragedy Aberfan was.' Director Benjamin Caron said that it was 'important' the disaster was marked in the new series. Big Pit National Coal Museum, in Blaenavon, has also been used as a location although producers decided against filming in Aberfan itself. Tobias Menzies was earlier spotted in a Rolls Royce in a small Welsh village in his role as Prince Phillip.
Marcella is to return for a third series, it has finally been confirmed. The ITV thriller, from The Bridge writer Hans Rosenfeldt and starring From The North favourite Anna Friel, has been confirmed by Variety as returning to ITV in the UK and to Netflix worldwide 'sometime in 2019.' The publication states that Rosenfeldt is 'hard at work' writing the eight-part series and will 'focus more on the fractured psyche of the titular character.'
Keeping Faith was one of the unexpected hit dramas of 2018. It started as a small BBC Wales drama which was broadcast in English alongside a Welsh version, titled Un Bore Mercher, on S4C, but then it took off in popularity. A second series of both language versions were officially confirmed by the Beeb in April and production has now begun with the series expected to be shown next year. Starring Torchwood and A Very English Scandal's Eve Myles, the second series will see her character, Faith Howells, attempting to put her life back together after her husband's disappearance. 'I'm thrilled that this brilliantly written drama found such a place in the audience's heart,' said Eve. 'I'm so excited to be back in the beautiful west Wales landscape working with a terrifically creative and talented team -it's a joy.'
Following the news that a new version of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is in early stages of production, some of the cast of the original series have been defending the idea. Sarah Michelle Gellar has admitted she is 'at peace' with the proposed remake. 'At the end of the day, it's all about great storytelling,' she explained. 'If a story lives on, then I think it should be told in any incarnation it can be told in.' David Boreanaz is also, reportedly, 'very happy' about the new Buffy, telling a Comic-Con panel he was 'all for it.' Speaking at the event, David reassured the audience: 'It's a good thing. Let's just embrace [it]. I'm very happy for them. They want to embrace a new generation, something new. I think it's fantastic. I hope that it becomes huge and successful.' Writer and producer Marti Noxon has recently admitted that she was worried about the proposed series. 'I'll be honest, initially I was like, "Nooo! Don't touch the sacred text!"' she said. 'But. the more I learned about it, the more excited I got. I'm excited that there is a female showrunner and that she's a woman of colour writing about a woman of colour. So I'm actually really pumped for it.'
Starz has unveiled the first trailer for American Gods' second series. The - short - clip made its debut at New York Comic-Con on Friday during a panel with the cast. The second series will pick up hours after the series one finale, where Wednesday revealed himself to his minder, Shadow, as the Norse God Odin. As creator Neil Gaiman put it during the panel: 'Everything is about to get better ... and worse.' Which, given the much discussed and extremely troubled production of the second series, could be taken in any number of ways.
Danny John-Jules has revealed the reason behind his Death In Paradise departure. Currently competing on Strictly Come Dancing, Danny said that a 'lack of razzmatazz' influenced his decision to leave BBC1's exotic crime series. Cos obviously, there's not much 'razzmatazz' in filming in the Caribbean for six months each year. The actor recently spoke to TV Times, where he admitted: 'I left Death In Paradise because I wanted to get back on stage. I needed a bit more razzmatazz in my life and then along came Strictly!' Danny had featured in every series of Death In Paradise since its debut in 2011, portraying Dwayne Myers alongside first Ben Miller, then Kris Marshall and most recently Ardal O'Hanlon. On his Strictly experience, Danny said: 'I haven't done a [stage] show for more than twenty years, so this is as close as I'm going to get to doing the jazz hands again. I've also been working on my one-man show about Sammy Davis Junior, that's why I'm always wearing a bowler hat!'
Fans enjoying the fiftieth anniversary of Dad's Army will be overjoyed at the announcement this week that the sitcom's three missing stories are to be 'faithfully re-created.'The Lost Episodes, to be shown on the Gold channel in 2019, will comprise new productions of episodes three, five and six of Dad's Army's second - 1969 - series; The Loneliness Of The Long-Distance Walker, A Stripe For Frazer and Under Fire. It was, of course, standard practice for the BBC to record over or discard tapes of programmes from this era - particularly episodes made in black and white once transmission switched to colour later in 1969. Dad's Army as it happens was less affected than many other BBC productions from the wiping of videotape (there are, of course, still ninety seven episodes missing from Doctor Who's early monochrome days for insatnce). Nevertheless, the three Dad's Army episodes are amongst the most highly-regarded on the Beeb's many missing items. Pete Thornton, head of scripted at UKTV, said: 'The Lost Episodes are currently being cast, with an extensive hunt on to find the perfect candidates to take on the daunting task of bringing these much-loved comedy characters to life once more. We've been working on this project for several years and will be respecting the genius of the original series. If ever there was a time to stick to the script then this is it. We are hugely excited and not a little intimidated by this opportunity, but being plucky and hopefully not too incompetent Brits, we aim to see the task through.' Fans are especially eager to see The Loneliness Of The Long-Distance again. The story, which was originally broadcast on 15 March 1969, focused on the character of Joe Walker, who received his call-up papers from the regular army. Realising his value to the platoon, Walker's colleagues employ subterfuge to try and keep him in the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard. In A Stripe For Frazer - first broadcast on 29 March 1969 - Jonesie and Frazer battle it out for the right to be made up to the platoon's corporal, while Captain Mainwaring finally takes delivery of his officer's cap. Under Fire, which concluded Dad's Army's second series on 5 April 1969, saw Mainwaring organising the men to become firefighters when incendiary bombs fall on the town. Needless to say the entire enterprise backfired spectacularly and with hilarious consequences. Gerald Casey, Gold's channel director, added: 'As a Dad's Army devotee, I'm utterly thrilled that we're exclusively bringing these legendary lost masterpieces from Jimmy Perry and David Croft to life again after fifty years.'A Stripe For Frazer was previously remade in 2016 when animators used an audio recording of the episode as well as Radio Times on-set photographs to bring the story back to life. That same year, a big screen remake - starring Bill Nighy, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Toby Jones, Tom Courtenay and Michael Gambon was released. But, that was a right load of old shite.
Dad's Army will also be the subject of a four-part documentary series, hosted by Alexander Armstrong, to be shown on Gold in November. Saluting Dad's Army will 'celebrate the impact of the enduring classic and pays tribute to the people who created it.' So, a clip-show in other words.
Congratulations are extremely due to BBC News for walking away with From The North's latest Headline of the Week award when they announced that Zoe Ball will be the new host of Radio 2's The Breakfast Show.
CBS has dropped NCIS: New Orleans showrunner Brad Kern following the completion of a 'third internal investigation' into allegations of misconduct, harassment and unprofessional conduct. The studio hired an outside counsel, Kate Gold, to pursue its third investigation into Kern in August, after initially suspending Kern from NCIS: New Orleans and from his production deal with CBS Television. A spokesperson told The Hollywood Reporter on Tuesday: 'We have ended Brad Kern's role as consulting producer on NCIS: New Orleans and his overall deal with the studio.' Kern has not publicly addressed the allegations. Kern was formally suspended by CBS while the network conducted the investigation. TV Line reported that the show was conducting a third investigation into claims that Kern - one-time Charmed producer - created 'toxic, sexist and altogether hostile work environments.' At the end of 2017, CBS confirmed that Kern had previously been the subject of an inquiry on two occasions. The results were inconclusive. 'We were aware of these allegations when they took place in 2016 and took them very seriously,' CBS said at the time. 'Both complaints were acted upon immediately with investigations and subsequent disciplinary action. While we were not able to corroborate all of the allegations, we took this action to address behaviour and management style and have received no further complaints since this was implemented.'
Noel Edmonds - who is definitely not mental nor nothing - has extremely failed in a bid to get Lloyds Bank's black horse TV adverts banned, as the former TV presenter's sixty million knicker legal battle with the banking group becomes increasingly acrimonious. The former Deal Or No Deal presenter's claim stems from a historic fraud scandal at the bank's HBOS Reading arm, which affected sixty small business owners, relating to losses from the collapse of his entertainment firm Unique Group a decade ago, as well as the alleged 'distress and humiliation' he claims that he has suffered. Keystone Law, representing Edmonds and other victims of the alleged fraud, lodged a complaint with the advertising regulator against the bank's TV campaign featuring its famous black horse. The advert features a black horse running past a memorial service, a neighbourhood with a mother caring for her baby and on a beach with children. A voiceover said: 'Yesterday, today and tomorrow we have been and always will be by your side.' Music lyrics in the background included the line 'we've come a long, long way together/through the hard times and the good' (from Camille Yarbrough's 'Take Yo Praise', if you were wondering). The law firm alleged that the advertising campaign was 'misleading' and should be banned because it objected to the way Lloyds Bank, which acquired HBOS after the fraud, had 'handled customers affected by the scandal.' Lloyds said that the claims in the advert were not misleading and that eighty five per cent of those it identified in a review as affected by the scandal had accepted compensation. The Advertising Standards Authority rejected Keystone's complaint, saying the advert did not break its rules. The watchdog said the claim to customers to literally be 'by your side' was 'advertising puffery.' The ASA said it did not believe that viewers 'would interpret the claim to be a commentary on the situation of the victims of the HBOS fraud case, or to think that it was directly connected to their engagement with Lloyds Bank in 2018. We did not consider the details of the HBOS fraud case to be material information that needed to be included in the ad to prevent customers from being misled.'
An advert for Costa Coffee has been banned for urging customers to buy a bacon roll rather than avocados. Even though some - including this blogger - may regard that as entirely sensible advice. The radio advert featured a voiceover which said there was 'a great deal on ripen-at-home avocados' but they will 'only be ready to eat for about ten minutes, then they'll go off.' The advert advised listeners to choose the 'better deal' of a roll or an egg muffin. Two listeners - with, seemingly, nothing better to do with their time - complained that the advert, which was broadcast in June, 'discouraged people from opting for fresh fruit.' As if anyone (who isn't a Middle Class hippy Communist Gruniad Morning Star reader) actually gives a flying fek about such nonsense. The advertising watchdog agreed with the crass whinges and upheld them. Costa claimed that the advert played on 'the frustration and unpredictability of the avocado.' And, the fact that they taste like shit. Probably. The chain claimed it was 'not suggesting' that listeners must choose between the two breakfast options - although, that appeared to be exactly what it was doing - but, rather, that it was 'telling people about its promotional offer.' The organisation which clears advertisements for broadcast, Radiocentre, said that consumers would see the advert as 'a light-hearted remark' about the experience of buying non-ripe avocados. Which, apparently, all bar two of them did. In its ruling, the Advertising Standards Authority - an entirely humourless, self-regulating quango, elected by no one - suggested that consumers would 'interpret' the advert as a comparison between the experience of eating an avocado and a bacon roll or egg muffin. 'We considered that, although the ad was light-hearted, it nevertheless suggested avocados were a poor breakfast choice and that a bacon roll or egg muffin would be a better alternative and in doing so discouraged the selection of avocados,' the ASA said. All radio and television adverts must comply with the UK Code of Broadcast Advertising which states that comparisons between foods must not discourage fruit and vegetables. The advert must not be broadcast again and Costa has been told to get their shit together and make sure its future adverts do not 'condone or encourage poor nutritional habits.' Or, offend Middle Class hippy Communist Gruniad Morning Star readers. Obviously.
The Aston Villains have extremely sacked manager Steve Bruce after winning only one of their past nine Championship matches this season. The Villains - and, their notoriously fickle support - are currently twelfth in the Championship table and drew three-three with bottom club Preston Both Ends on Tuesday. Fifty seven-year-old Bruce, who was appointed two years ago, had been under increasing pressure from Villa's notoriously fickle supporters, with one fan throwing a cabbage at him before Tuesday's game. The cabbage was uninjured. As was the vegetable, apparently. Bruce ed the club to the Championship play-off final last season, where they lost to Fulham at Wembley. Bruce, who leaves The Villains exactly two years to the day since his predecessor, Roberto Di Matteo was sacked, is the first manager to lose his job in England's second tier this season. Though, almost certainly not the last. 'We would like to place on record our gratitude to Steve and his team for their hard work and commitment. We wish them well for the future,' a club statement said. 'The process of recruiting a new manager has begun.'
Glasgow gig-goers got lucky this week as they witnessed the former Doctor Who actor yer actual Peter Capaldi take to the stage in his home town. The ex-Doctor and Oscar winner joined The Blow Monkeys to play guitar during the band's set at the Royal Concert Hall. The Blow Monkeys are currently supporting fellow 1980s hit makers Level 42 on their UK tour. And, you can see Peter, if you will, digging his scene with Blow Monkeys' main-man Doctor Robert here. Skill.
Following the success of previous archive live recordings, Cracked Actor and Welcome To The Blackout, David Bowie's legendary headlining set from Glastonbury 2000 is set to be released for the very first time. While often regarded as one of the greatest sets in Glasto history, the Sunday night closing show has never been released on either video or audio and only a thirty odd minute segment of it was ever broadcast - as part of BBC2's live Glastonbury coverage that year. David Bowie: Glastonbury 2000 will be released on 30 November on double CD, DVD and a triple LP vinyl - complete with notes from Caitlin Moran, photos of Bowie in his iconic three-quarter length custom Alexander McQueen frock coat and Bowie's tour diary for the memorable 2000 summer tour, originally written for Time Out. 'As of 1990 I got through the rest of the Twentieth Century without having to do a big hits show,' wrote Bowie. 'Yes, yes, I know I did four or five hits on the later shows but I held out pretty well, I thought. Big, well known songs will litter the field at Glastonbury this year. With a couple of quirks of course.' That was something of an understatement; backed by his tremendous touring band - Mike Garson, Earl Slick, Mark Plati, Gail Ann Dorsey, Sterling Campbell, Holly Palmer and Emm Gryner - The Grand Dame was on outstanding form, powering through a twenty one-song set that contained: 'Wild Is The Wind', 'China Girl', 'Changes', 'Stay', 'Life On Mars?', 'Absolute Beginners', 'Ashes To Ashes', 'Rebel Rebel', 'Little Wonder', 'Golden Years', 'Fame', 'All The Young Dudes', 'The Man Who Sold The World', 'Station To Station', 'Starman', 'Hallo Spaceboy', 'Under Pressure', 'Ziggy Stardust', '"Heroes"', 'Let's Dance' and 'I'm Afraid Of Americans'. Although David's equally brilliant set at the BBC Radio Theatre two days later has been widely seen and heard (released on CD as part of the Bowie At The Beeb collection), thus far the Glastonbury performance has been the stuff of - mostly word-of-mouth - legend. 'I often get asked what the best set I've seen here at Glastonbury is and Bowie's 2000 performance is always one which I think of first,' said Glastonbury organiser Emily Eavis. 'It was spellbinding; he had an absolutely enormous crowd transfixed. I think Bowie had a very deep relationship with Worthy Farm and he told some wonderful stories about his first time at the Festival in 1971, when he stayed at the farmhouse and performed at 6am as the sun was rising. And he just played the perfect headline set.'
The Rolling Stones are to celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of their Beggars Banquet LP by releasing a new, expanded edition on 16 November. The original LP was released on 6 December 1968. The new vinyl version will feature both the original Michael Vosse photograph of a vandalised toilet wall – subsequently withdrawn by a nervous Decca Records in the UK and an even more nervous London Records in the US - as well the the 'RSVP' artwork which replaced it. The package will be completed by a mono twelve inch single of the classic 'Sympathy For The Devil', with an etching of the 'toilet' artwork adorning the b-side, plus a flexi-disc of a Mick Jagger interview that replicates one issued by King Records in Japan to accompany the original LP's Japanese release. The new version has been remastered by famed engineer Bob Ludwig, with the lacquers cut at Abbey Road and pressed on one hundred and eighty gram vinyl. So, what with that, the forthcoming Bowie Let's Dance box-set and the Glastonbury CD, The Be-Atles White Album anniversary box-set and new releases by From The North favourites Paul Weller and Elvis Costello, it looks like it's going to be an expensive couple of months for yer actual Keith Telly Topping. Still, that's what overdrafts are for.
Geoff Emerick, the engineer who helped to create the sound world of The Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them), has died after a heart attack, aged seventy two. A four-time Grammy award-winner, Geoff worked on some of The Be-Atles' most influential and experimental records including Revolver, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Abbey Road. He also worked with Kate Bush, Elvis Costello & The Attractions and Jeff Beck. Giles Martin, the son of The Be-Atles producer George Martin, described Geoff as 'one of finest and most innovative engineers to have graced a recording studio. We have all been touched by the sounds he helped create on the greatest music ever recorded,' he added.
Born in December 1945, Geoff began working at the EMI Studios in Abbey Road as a sixteen years old on 3 September 1962. To familiarise him with his work, he was placed under the supervision of the assistant engineer, Richard Langham. On Geoff's second day of work at EMI, Langham was assigned to work with Norman Smith and their boss, George Martin, on the first proper EMI recording session by The Be-Atles. Emerick was, thus, lucky enough to witness the studio debut of the finalised line-up of The Be-Atles, during which the group, with their recently-arrived drummer, Ringo Starr, recorded what would become their first hit single, 'Love Me Do.' During 1963 and 1964, Geoff spent much of his time working as a tape operator on Be-Atles sessions for hits like 'She Loves You', 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' and 'A Hard Day's Night'. As an assistant engineer, Emerick also helped to record other artists for the label, including Judy Garland. He assisted at the EMI artist test of The Hollies and, after being promoted to recording engineer, worked on the 1966 Manfred Mann number one hit single 'Pretty Flamingo'. He then, at the age of just twenty, replaced Norman Smith (who had, himself, been promoted to producer) as The Be-Atles engineer. On the first session for what became Revolver, in April 1966, John Lennon tasked Geoff with making his voice sound like 'the Dalai Lama singing on a mountain' for 'Tomorrow Never Knows'. Geoff, in his own words, 'played the mixing desk like a modern-day synthesizer,' when producing the final 'live' mix of the groundbreaking song, weaving numerous tape-loops in and out of the sound collage. It was reportedly Geoff''s suggestion to record Lennon's vocal through a Leslie speaker to achieve the ethereal sound that Lennon wanted and to close-mic Ringo's drums, formerly a prohibited practice at EMI. It was also Emerick who enigneered 'Strawberry Fields Forever', splicing together two separate takes of the song and working out how to combine them, despite the fact they had been recorded in different keys and tempo. He won the first of his four Grammys for his work on Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, on which he helped achieve the monumental echo that sustains the closing chord of 'A Day In The Life'. George Martin had wanted Geoff to be named on the LPs cover, such was his contribution to the overall sound, but EMI vetoed the suggestion - it would only be with The Be-Atles subsequent White Album that the industry finally began to openly acknowledge the vital role played by engineers in the process of making a record. Speaking to Variety in July 2017, Geoff said that 'A Day In The Life' had been the highlight of his time with The Be-Atles. 'The night we put the orchestra on it [10 February 1967], the whole world went from black and white to colour.' Yet, after continuing to work with The Be-Atles on The Magical Mystery Tour he infamously resigned during The White Album sessions, claiming that he could not handle the developing tensions between the band members. 'I was becoming physically sick just thinking of going to the studio each night,' he told Music Radar in 2014. 'I used to love working with the band. By that point, I dreaded it.' He walked out on 16 July 1968 - during the recording of 'Cry Baby Cry' - saying that he was fed up with the inter-band feuding. It is also alleged that Geoff had objected to Chris Thomas, George Martin's inexperienced assistant, being elevated to the de facto role of producer in Martin's temporary absence, with the band's acceptance. Geoff later returned to work with The Beatles the following year and won a second Grammy for his work on Abbey Road.
Despite his departure from The White Album sessions, Emerick remained on good terms with Paul McCartney, who invited Emerick to quit EMI and come to work for Apple in 1969. In addition to ongoing engineering duties, Emerick oversaw the building of The Be-Atles' Apple Studio in Savile Row. Following The Be-Atles' break-up in 1970, Emerick continued to work regularly with McCartney. He served as engineer on Band On The Run (1973), which netted Geoff yet another Grammy, London Town (1978), Tug Of War (1982) and Flaming Pie (1997). Emerick later said he felt that he had always been perceived by the other Be-Atles as 'Paul's guy.' As a result, for their own initial post-Beatle solo recordings, Lennon and George Harrison chose to work instead with Geoff's colleagues Ken Scott and Phil McDonald. Following the success of EMI's The Beatles At Abbey Road presentation in 1983, Geoff prepared an LP of The Be-Atles' studio outtakes, Sessions, but it was cancelled before release. In the mid-1990s, the majority of these recordings were used on The Beatles Anthology CDs. Geoff also worked with Elvis Costello (for whom he produced 1982's acclaimed Imperial Bedroom and 1996's All This Useless Beauty), The Zombies (the highly-regarded Odessey & Oracle), Badfinger, Art Garfunkel, America, Jeff Beck, Gino Vannelli, Supertramp, Cheap Trick, Nazareth, Chris Bell, Split Enz, Trevor Rabin, Nick Heyward, Gentle Giant, and The Mahavishnu Orchestra. And also, Big Country and Ultravox but, we can forgive him for those blemishes on an otherwise faultless CV. Other recording projects included Matthew Fisher's solo debut, Journey's End, Kate Bush's first demo recordings for EMI and Nellie McKay's critically acclaimed 2004 debut, Get Away From Me. He also recorded some of the backing tracks for the debut LP by Stealers Wheel, but left the project before completion. In 2003, he received his fourth Grammy, a Special Merit/Technical Award. In 2006, Geoff released his memoir, Here, There & Everywhere: My Life Recording The Music Of The Beatles, co-authored by the music journalist Howard Massey. In the memoir, Emerick wrote that 'working with The Beatles was unlike working with any other artists. With them, anything and everything was possible; they had zero tolerance for the words "no" or "can't." On the other hand, if something wasn't right, they knew it, right away and they had no problem changing direction and moving on. There was no prevaricating; no ifs, ands, or buts; no maybes. It was either good or it wasn't.' In 2007, Geoff was in charge of a re-recording of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by contemporary artists, including Oasis, The Killers, Travis, The Zutons and Razorlight. Emerick used the original equipment to record the new versions of the songs, the results being broadcast on Radio 2 in June 2007, marking the LP's fortieth anniversary. Geoff later resided in Los Angeles. In recent years, he had become a regular fixture as a lecturer at Be-Atles conventions and host of production workshops.
Ray Galton, one half of Galton and Simpson, the hugely influential comedy writing team, has died at the age of eighty eight. The scriptwriter died 'peacefully' on Friday evening after 'a long and heartbreaking battle with dementia,' his family said. Born in Paddington in 1930, Ray Galton worked throughout the majority of his sixty-year career with Alan Simpson, who died in February last year aged eighty seven.
Most famously, the duo created Hancock's Half Hour, the radio - and, subsequently, television - comedy that established Tony Hancock as the quintessential disappointed British anti-hero of the postwar years. Many of the lines Ray and Alan gave to 'the lad himself' were soon to enter into the English language and consciousness, from Tony's aggravated 'Stone me!', to his grandiloquent appeal to the rest of the jury in their famous spoof of Twelve Angry Men ('does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain?') or his observation on how much of an arm a pint of blood occupies in The Blood Donor. The success of the Hancock shows has seen Galton and Simpson regularly described as the effective creators of the situation comedy genre as we know it. The duo went on to create the equally groundbreaking Steptoe & Son, about a squabbling father and son duo of rag-and-bone men. Starring Harry H Corbett and Wilfrid Brambell, it ran for eight series from 1962 to 1974 and spawned two spin-off movies. At its peak, it commanded a TV audience of twenty eight million viewers. Tessa Le Bars, Galton's manager, said: 'I have had the great honour of working with Ray for over fifty years and for the last forty as his manager and friend. With his lifelong co-writer, the late Alan Simpson, they were regarded as the fathers and creators of the British sitcom.' Receiving the entertainment industry's most prestigious award, a BAFTA fellowship, in 2016, Galton's speech referenced several of their greatest scriptwriting triumphs, including the most famous episodes of Hancock's Half Hour, The Radio Ham and The Blood Donor: 'We are happy and honoured to accept this award on behalf of all the blood donors, test pilots, radio hams and rag-and-bone men of the Twentieth Century without whom we would probably be out of a job,' he said.
Born to Christine and Herbert Galton, a bus conductor, Ray grew up on a Surrey council estate. He attended school in Morden, leaving at fourteen for a job as a clerk with the Transport and General Workers' Union. In 1947, aged sixteen, he realised there was something badly wrong with his health. He was six feet four inches but weighed only nine stone and was suffering from permanent sweats, a bad cough and had no energy. His doctor told him to take malt. But Ray's elder brother, Bert, who had just returned home on leave from the Merchant Navy, insisted that he should have an X-ray and took him to a hospital in Sutton, where tuberculosis was diagnosed. Ray soon found himself at the Surrey county sanatorium in Milford, near Godalming. Some of the treatment was nearly as bad as the disease. Liquid had to be removed from the top of his lungs at about a litre a time, which took half-an-hour. For the first year, Galton was not allowed to get out of bed, even to turn on the radio. It was only at the start of his third incarcerated year that a fellow TB sufferer Alan Simpson appeared in the bed next to him. Together the pair formed a firm friendship based on mutual love of the American Forces Network programmes on the ward radio. They enjoying Jack Benny, Bob Hope, Phil Harris and Don Ameche as well as British comedy programmes from the BBC. Soon they began to write their own sketches for the sanatorium's radio station - housed in a broom cupboard. Their first show was called Have You Ever Wondered? Its review - their first - in an issue of the sanatorium's Milford Bulletin said: 'Slick, up to the minute with a dash of satire, a worthy effort indeed.' Once the pair had been cured, Galton and Simpson wrote to Frank Muir and Denis Norden, the leading comedy writers of the day and were invited to the BBC's Broadcasting House for a chat. Their first break came in 1951 with the Derek Roy vehicle Happy Go Lucky. They went on to write for numerous comedy performers, including a lengthy association with Frankie Howerd and, later, for Les Dawson. But their most important creative moment undoubtedly came when they were still in their twenties. On 2 November, 1954, the thirty-year-old Hancock stood behind a radio microphone for the first episode of a new show, his first starring vehicle for the BBC's Light Programme. Seven years later Hancock was the most famous performer in Britain. The alter-ego he played, Anthony Aloysius Saint John Hancock, resident of 23 Railway Cuttings, East Cheam, was an exaggerated version of himself, but dressed like an old-fashioned dandy and was full of delusions of grandeur. The show was first broadcast on radio from 1954 to 1959 and moved to BBC television from 1956. Its regular performers included Sid James, Bill Kerr, Hattie Jacques and Kenneth Williams (whose famous catchphrase, 'Stop messin' about', Galton and Simpson created for him). Speaking in 1997, before the launch of new sitcom about his time as a youth in a sanatorium, Galton said: 'Finding the plots used to be lot easier for me than the writing. Nowadays, I find the ideas much more difficult. Practically everything has been done.'
Steptoe & Son, which began in 1962, grew out of a number of half-hour pilots that Ray and Alan wrote for the BBC under the umbrella title Comedy Playhouse, focusing on a father and son living in a squalid house in West London. The comedy was characterised by a bleak and somewhat fatalistic tone, indeed Steptoe & Son was, at times, a black comedy far closer to contemporary social-realist drama than to sitcom. Both the character played by Hancock in Hancock's Half Hour and Harold Steptoe (Harry H Corbett) were vainglorious (and pretentious) would-be intellectuals and social-climbers who found themselves trapped by the squalor of their lives and by a desire to keep them in their place by their companions (Sid James in the case of the former, Wilfred Brambell in the latter). This theme had already been expanded upon in Galton and Simpson's script for Hancock's film The Rebel (1961), about a civil servant who moves to Paris to become an artist. Gabriel Chevallier's novel Clochemerle (1934) was adapted by Galton and Simpson as a BBC/West German co-production in 1972. Around that time an unbroadcast pilot was recorded for a series to be called Bunclarke With An E, with Arthur Lowe and James Beck. Sadly, Beck died before the project could be developed further.
While both writers continued to work after Steptoe & Son ended, including several projects with Frankie Howerd, they had no further high-profile successes. Duncan Wood, the former Hancock and Steptoe producer, by then at Yorkshire Television, commissioned The Galton & Simpson Playhouse, a seven-part series similar in style to Comedy Playhouse, broadcast in 1977 and featuring the likes of Richard Briers, Leonard Rossiter and Arthur Lowe. None of these pilots led to another series, however. Simpson formally retired from screenwriting in 1978, concentrating on his business interests. Galton then worked with Johnny Speight on scripts, including the under-rated Spooner's Patch (1979 to 1982) about a corrupt police station. He also wrote scripts for sitcoms produced in Germany and Scandinavia. His last sitcom was Get Well Soon in 1997 which he co-created with John Antrobus and which was based on his own experiences in a sanatorium. Galton and Simpson came together again professionally in 1998 to adapt some of their work for the BBC radio series Radio Playhouse. The plays were Cliquot Et Fils, Nought For Thy Comfort, A Clerical Error and the Steptoe & Son pilot The Offer. The duo never ceased to be friends, living within a couple of miles of one another and seeing each other every week. In 1996, Paul Merton - a devoted fan of the duo's work - revived some of their best scripts for a TV series. In October 2005, Galton and Antrobus premiered their play Steptoe & Son In Murder At Oil Drum Lane at the Theatre Royal, York. The play was set in the present day and related to the events which lead to Harold killing his father and their eventual meeting - Albert appearing as ghost - thirty years later. To celebrate Galton and Simpson's sixty-year anniversary as a team, in 2009 BBC Radio broadcast another series of updated plays, called Galton & Simpson's Half Hour. The casts included Frank Skinner, David Mitchell and Robert Webb, Rik Mayall, June Whitfield and Paul Merton. And in 2016, the sixtieth anniversary of the first TV episode of Hancock's Half Hour, BBC4 remade an episode that had been lost, The New Neighbour, with Jon Culshaw and Kevin McNally. Ray Galton's wife Tonia, whom he married in 1956, died in 1995. He is survived by his three children, Andrew, Sara and Lisa and five grandchildren.
Visitors to a renowned sex club in Berlin have been urged to seek medical treatment after a patron was taken to hospital with bacterial meningitis. The KitKatClub said that the man was 'in a serious condition' after attending a party there on Saturday. About one hundred others were treated 'as a precaution.' Bacterial meningitis is spread through close physical contact and can become life-threatening within hours. The nightclub hosts fetish parties which attract visitors from around the world. The man contacted a doctor on Monday and was immediately diagnosed with the disease. He is being treated with antibiotics, Bild newspaper reported. Authorities in Berlin's Reinickendorf district advised anyone who had attended the club on Saturday to 'seek immediate preventive treatment.''A friend of the patient could tell us that they were both in the KitKat club, but he did not know who the sick person was in contact with there,' said Patrick Larscheid, director of the Reinickendorf Health Department. The man had attended the CarneBall Bizarre party. The evening has a dress code'of "fetish, patent and leather, uniforms, TV, goth, costumes, evening wear, glitz and glamour, extravagant clothes,' according to the club's Facebook page. The club said that none of its employees had shown any symptoms and added that they had been 'offered antibiotics as a preventative measure.' Meningitis is an infection of the meninges - the protective membranes that surround the brain and the spinal cord. Bacterial meningitis can be very serious if not treated quickly. It can cause life-threatening blood poisoning - sepsis - and can result in permanent damage to the brain or nerves.
A criminal investigation has been launched after a backlog of medical waste - including body parts - was allowed to build up at several disposal sites. It emerged on Thursday that the waste from hospitals had 'not been disposed of in a timely fashion' by contractor Healthcare Environmental Services. The Environment Agency said that the firm was in breach of permits. The Scottish Environment Protection Agency is 'monitoring two sites' where enforcement notices have been issued. The Department of Health in England said there was no risk to the public. Healthcare Environmental Services has a headquarters in Shotts in North Lanarkshire. The contractor removes the waste from a significant number, though not all, hospitals in England and Scotland. The waste was being held at five sites in England and one in Scotland and is stored in secure and refrigerated containers. The problem was first reported by the Health Service Journal, which said that the disposal company was blaming the backlog on 'a shortage of high-temperature incinerators.' A COBRA meeting to discuss the issue was chaired by English Health Secretary Matt Hancock last month, the HSJ claimed. A spokeswoman for the Environment Agency in England said it had found Healthcare Environmental Services to be 'in breach of environmental permits' at five sites which deal with clinical waste. She added: 'We are taking enforcement action against the operator, which includes clearance of the excess waste, and have launched a criminal investigation. We are supporting the government and the NHS to ensure there is no disruption to public services and for alternative plans to be put in place for hospitals affected to dispose of their waste safely.' The Scottish Environment Protection Agency said it was 'working closely' with the Environment Agency and 'robustly monitoring sites in Scotland.' A spokesman added: 'On 12 September SEPA issued enforcement notices to Healthcare Environmental Services regarding sites in Dundee and Shotts, with officers conducting ongoing monitoring.' Healthcare Environmental Services has a transfer station for waste in Dundee and a storage, processing and incineration site at Shotts. SEPA said the company had 'not gone over its agreed regulatory limits' for either of the two Scottish sites. A UK government spokesman said that it was 'monitoring the situation closely' and had made sure that public services - including NHS Trusts - had 'contingency plans in place.' He added: 'There is absolutely no risk to the health of patients or the wider public. Our priority is to prevent disruption to the NHS and other vital public services and work is under way to ensure organisations can continue to dispose of their waste safely and efficiently.' Jonathan Ashworth, Labour's shadow health and social care secretary in England, called on Matt Hancock to make a statement in the House of Commons on the 'staggering revelations' next week. 'When something of this scale is going on which the government has known about for some time they have a responsibility to come to parliament and explain to parliament whether they've got credible contingency plans and to reassure MPs who will represent those 50 hospital trusts,' he told Radio 4's World At One. 'Given the scale of this, it's hugely disappointing that the secretary of state has not done this,' he added.
An outspoken former Conservative party donor has said that he is prepared to go to prison to keep a giant Bollocks to Brexit poster above his London office after he was told to remove it by his local council. Charlie Mullins, the founder of Pimlico Plumbers, accused Lambeth council of interfering with his freedom of speech and succumbing to people's 'sensitivities' over a word which was proven in a 1977 court case not to be obscene. The council claimed that it had 'received complaints' from 'commuters' about the sign near Waterloo station and, as it was not related to his business, Mullins would have to remove it or apply for planning consent, which he would be unlikely to get. One or two people even believed them. 'We had a sign there previously saying, "Nobody voted to be poorer" for six months and Lambeth did not object,' Mullins claimed. 'They say it has nothing to do with our business, but quite clearly it has everything to do with our business. If there is Brexit, we won't have a business. This is just bullying and the advert is not coming down. They will need to put me in prison before that comes down. I am just a business standing up for my rights.' The millionaire, who has a workforce of over four hundred, is one of the country's best-known backers of the campaign to stop Brexit. In 2016, he supported Gina Miller's successful high court bid to give parliament a meaningful vote over the final Brexit deal and he donated to her End The Chaos campaign to publish facts about Brexit. Bollocks to Brexit is the slogan of a grassroots campaign group, which handed out stickers at the recent Labour and Conservative conferences. Mullins has said he 'accepts' that some commuters may find the word offensive but points to the trial over The Sex Pistols'Never Mind The Bollocks ... Here's The Sex Pistols cover. In 1977, the band's reputation soared after a tight-arsed police officer confiscated LPs from a Virgin Records store in Nottingham, arguing that the appearance of the word 'bollocks' contravened the 1899 Indecent Advertising Act, forcing shops around the country to sell the LP under the counter. The record was subsequently ruled to be not indecent after the defence barrister, John Mortimer QC, got an English professor to testify that the word had appeared in medieval Bibles, veterinary books and literature and was a colloquialism for nonsense. Mullins said that a media company had offered to provide him with twenty two electronic sites for a similar advert since the sign had gone up three weeks ago and attracted attention on social media. Lambeth council told Mullins that 'as the sign is not specifically related to the business of Pimlico Plumbers and is well in excess of the size limits, the sign does not benefit from deemed consent and will therefore either need to be removed ASAP or an application for advert consent submitted.' It claimed - very unconvincingly - that it would be an offence under the Town and Country Planning Act 1990 to continue to display it without consent. Although the council received an - unspecified - number of complaints from the public about language, it pointed out that the content of adverts was 'a matter for the Advertising Standards Authority.' A Lambeth council spokesman said it was considering 'whether or not the physical advertisement requires advertisement consent under planning controls and as part of this process, we contacted the company setting out the normal rules and options available to them.' It said planning-related advertising legislation was 'complex and adverts can be displayed without the need for the council's consent' but this was subject to 'various conditions and limitations.' The council said it had made 'an informal approach' to Pimlico Plumbers and, if it did not breach the rules, no action would be taken.
And now, the first in a new, semi-regular, From The North feature, Did You Know? Number one: The bass player in The Plastic Ono Elephant's Memory Band was, seemingly Jesus. Tragically, as John Lennon is squatting down in this photo we are unable to confirm whether he was, as he once claimed to be, bigger than Jesus. Although, the bloke on Jesus's left, clearly, was.
A woman who faked stage-four breast cancer and raised over thirty thousand dollars on GoFundMe was extremely sentenced on Thursday to at least two years in prison. Candace Streng was sentenced to twenty eight months to fifteen years in The Big House with credit for one hundred and eighty two days served after prosecutors said that she lied to friends, family and strangers about having cancer and raised thousands both online and through fundraisers. Prosecutors say since 2015, Streng told friends and family in person and online through detailed Facebook posts that she had breast cancer. In early 2017, prosecutors say she posted that there were 'new types of treatments' which were not covered by her insurance and began asking for money to help pay for the said treatments. Concerned friends set up a GoFundMe account, which she later took control of. Prosecutors claim that Streng also used the media to gain support, interviewing with the Livingston County Press in May 2017 and November 2017. In June of last year, Streng's friends held a fundraiser at Aubree's in South Lyon. They raised six thousand dollars, thinking it was going to be used to pay for her - non-existent - cancer treatments. When police learned that she was lying, she continued to lie to law enforcement about her condition, according to prosecutors. They say that when she found out police shut down her GoFundMe, she reached out to people directly to tell them how to donate to her via PayPal. One woman affected by the situation, Jessica, took a moment to speak before the sentencing, giving examples of how she and her friends had helped Streng. She said that she once took Streng grocery items when Streng claimed she could not lift items over a few pounds. One another occaison, Jessica made a late night run to a Seven-Eleven because Streng said a cherry slushie would make her 'happy.''She stole money, lied to our faces, lied to our kids,' Jessica said. Sarah Bees testifiedthat she was part of a group that helped raise over fifty thousand dollars to help Streng. 'What Candace did is inexcusable,' she said. 'Her actions have greatly impacted all of our lives over the past nine months.' As he handed down his sentence, the judge expressed concern for the new ways to commit crimes through technology.
A nineteen-year-old man currently living in Sydenham has been arrested following what is described as 'a string of weird events' involving his former roommate in Kingston. In April of 2018, the victim rented a room to the accused man and, soon after, began noticing 'concerning behaviour,' according to a press release from Kingston Police. On Friday 29 June, the victim woke up and discovered six inches of her hair had been cut off. The victim 'suspected that her roommate was responsible and began avoiding him,' police said. On 4 August, the victim reportedly came home and found that her bed, couch and clothing had all been urinated upon and some alcohol had been stolen from her room. She decided to confront her roommate and 'confirmed that he was responsible.' The accused roommate agreed to move out and the two had no further contact until 27 September, when the victim received an e-mail from the accused. The e-mail had no content, but the subject line contained an offensive statement, according to police. On Wednesday, police located and arrested the accused at his new home. The man is charged with assault with a weapon, theft, mischief, and making indecent telecommunications.
Neighbours of an immigrant family in County Antrim have expressed their revulsion after 'a deranged idiot' urinated through their letterbox. Tragically, whilst he (one has to presume it was a he) was engaged in his urinatory activities, the letterbox didn't snap shut on his little chap and cause the racist numbskull considerable suffrage. The property in Greenisland was targeted in what police are treating as a hate crime. Investigating officers believe urine was sprayed through the letterbox of the house and into a hallway 'simply because of where the residents come from.' Police described the incident as 'pretty disgusting' on social media.
A healthy, thirty one-year-old man checked into a New York clinic with an unusual complaint, it has been reported. After taking 'large amounts of a drug for erectile dysfunction,' which he purchased on the Internet, everything he saw was red - a symptom that no treatment could remedy, even after a year. Doctors diagnosed him with retinal toxicity, an eye disorder which affects how a person sees colour. Specifically, the man had irreversible erythropsia, which is characterised by red-hued vision. The man's symptoms appeared soon after he had taken sildenafil citrate, the active ingredient in popular erectile dysfunction drugs, which he had bought online and drunk in liquid form 'directly from the bottle,' according to a medical report. In a case study, researchers at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York used advanced imaging techniques to examine the man's eyes in detail. They revealed structural changes to his retinas - demonstrating the degree to which sildenafil citrate may have contributed to permanent eye damage. Their findings were published this month in Retinal Cases. The report does not state whether the man's erectile problems have been cured or, indeed, if he is now walking around with a permanent chimney on.
A Newport woman was taken into custody on Monday after police say she exposed herself to responding officers during a drunken domestic incident. According to police, Chiquita Lynn'Ray Thomas 'got into an argument with a family member' at her home and requested that the family member leave. When officers advised her to follow the civil process of eviction, police claim that she bent over and pulled up her nightgown, and 'exposed her buttock and private region while telling police to kiss her exposed buttocks.' Thomas was taken into custody and charged with profane swearing, intoxication and indecent exposure.
A trucking company employee in Western Pennsylvania has been accused of funnelling nearly four hundred thousand dollars in customer payments into his personal bank account.. Investigators say that he 'blew the money on strippers and hockey tickets, among other splurges.'KDKA and WPXI in Pittsburgh report James R Perry Junior was very arrested on Monday on 'theft and other charges.' Perry was the director of credit and collections billing and settlement with R&R Express trucking company, where he allegedly funnelled money to himself dating back to April 2015 to the tune of about three hundred and seventy three thousand nine hundred and twenty eight dollars police say. According to court papers, company and financial records show customers would send their credit card payments to R&R and Perry would then use a computer programme to process the payments and redirect them into his personal checking account.
And now, onto some more personal doings. Tuesday of this week, dear blog reader, was a day that yer actual Keith Telly Topping wants to forget in a hurry. If not sooner. Listen, if anyone ever tries to convince you that as you've got three (completely separate) medical appointments due in the next month why not get them all out of the way on the same day, just don't do it. The main problem - and it did seem like a good idea at the time - was that the appointments could not be arranged back-to-back (oh no, that would be far too easy) but spaced out throughout the day; at 10am, 1pm and 5pm. So, this blogger had to trailing going back-and-forth between Stately Telly Topping Manor and the local surgery. No great chore to do once or twice in a day since, it's only a fifteen minute walk through Walker Churchyard but, after you've done it for the fifth time in one day, it starts to get more than a little wearisome!
Wednesday, on the other hand, was much better. This blogger had a very excellent chat on the dog-and-bone with an extremely excellent old mucker regarding something that this blogger can't discuss at this particular time in any details but which may end up being 'a bit of an opportunity' (and, a bit of a throwback) for yer actual Keith Telly Topping his very self. He said, euphemistically. Very euphemistically. Sorry to be so obtuse, dear blog reader but more news - obviously - once it's all firmed up and sorted. Nevertheless, just to report to anyone that's interested (so, that'll be about four of you) that - after the previous day of unremitting lack-of-feelgood down at the doctors(!) - yer actual Keith Telly Topping is currently in a rather good mood. For a change.
And finally, dear blog reader, aiding in this blogger's general improved disposition of late, the thing which has made this blogger laugh more than just about anything else this week was, and remains, this glorious Ben Pics animation of Bob Mortimer's Jordan Henderson song 'Nut Job!' from the brilliant Athletico Mince podcast.
Truly, dear blog reader, has there ever been a more perfect line in all of rock and/or roll music than 'I once threw a snake/at Paloma Faith's face?' This blogger seriously doubts it.
Only, perhaps, 'Can you see the Sky TV van?/And the donkey by the caravan?/The fat-bloke by the Blue Drink Stand?/He's shoutin'"Jesus Wept, look it's The Fun Bus!' from yet another twenty four carat Bob Mortimer classic anthem.